An in-depth interview with UMass Amherst sociologist and professor Ofer Sharone about the stigma trap that laid off workers can fall into and how the myth of meritocracy impacts even people who don't think they believe in it.

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From the episode:

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The case of the couple who want answers from HR.

Months after Elliot was laid off, he and his husband Miles were still angry — not just about the layoff, but about the way it happened. The smiling HR rep. The severance paperwork no one explained. The desk he wasn’t allowed to pack up. The coffee spilled all over his belongings.

They had questions they couldn’t ask the actual HR person without risking Miles’s job. So Yowei found them a proxy: Catie Maillard, a veteran People Operations professional who has conducted hundreds of layoffs and been laid off herself.

In Proxy’s first-ever proxy conversation, Miles and Elliot ask Catie everything they’ve been carrying about HR, severance, corporate policy, layoff lists, the WARN Act, and why companies can make people feel so disposable. And Catie helps them understand what may have happened behind the scenes — while also giving Elliot something he never got from the company: a real apology.

From the episode:

— Catie Maillard — on LinkedIn — more about her work: www.somehowimanagehr.com

— Yowei's unhinged Gold Star music video

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Yowei Can’t Speak Bro for a lighter story about male friendship, bro-speak, and emotional translation. 

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]

Please note: This story contains brief mention of suicidal ideation. If you or someone you know may be considering suicide, contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing 9-8-8, or the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.

 After Elliot was suddenly laid off, his husband Miles kept working at the same company — in the same office, with the same HR rep, under the same threat that he might be next.

Then Miles heard a rumor: more layoffs were coming on the third Thursday of the month. Danger Day.

In this episode, Yowei follows Miles and Elliot through the horror-movie logic of layoff anxiety: calendar clues, changed meeting rooms, suspicious boss behavior, financial panic, phantom work limbs, and the feeling that one bad meeting can make your whole life disappear. With help from sociologist Ofer Sharone, they investigate why layoffs can feel so devastating — especially when you believed that working hard and following the rules would keep you safe.

From the episode:

— Ofer Sharone — sociologist at UMass Amherst, and author of The Stigma Trap: College-Educated, Experienced, and Long-Term Unemployed

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or.HR by Proxy for the first full proxy conversation, where Miles and Elliot get to ask an HR rep the questions they've been carrying. 

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]

When Yowei got laid off from NPR, she knew all the rational things. It was a business decision. It wasn’t about her performance. She had savings, severance, and support.

So why did it still feel like getting rejected by the entire life she’d built?

In the first episode of Proxy, Yowei investigates why layoffs can feel so emotionally devastating — even when you know, intellectually, that it’s not your fault. Along the way, she talks with experts about the history of layoffs, unemployment stigma, the American hiring process, and why losing a job can make you feel like you’ve lost your worth. And she begins the story that eventually became Proxy itself.

From the episode:

— Ofer Sharone — sociologist at UMass Amherst, and author of The Stigma Trap: College-Educated, Experienced, and Long-Term Unemployed

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic Proxy case, or.HR by Proxy, for the first full proxy converstion we ever recorded. 

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]

It’s the knot you can’t untangle — a problem so specific, it makes you feel alone. But what if you could talk to someone who gets it? 

On Proxy, we find someone with the closest possible experience to your problem — and follow the conversation that unfolds. It’s not therapy. It’s emotional investigative journalism.

Hosted by Yowei Shaw, former co-host of Invisibilia.

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy, one of the clearest examples of what this show does, or Yowei Can't Speak Bro for a funny investigation into male friendship, bro-speak, and emotional translation.