Proxy with Yowei Shaw

For as long as she can remember, Nichole Hill has had a complicated relationship with Black history. Then in 2020, she stumbled on a digital archive of pre Civil Rights era Black newspapers and got obsessed with the scandalous stories she found. Our Ancestors Were Messy is her new podcast that explores Black history through the lens of gossip and drama. In this episode, Nichole tells the story of a Victorian era love triangle that rocked the elites of DC. 

From the episode: 

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Follow us on Instagram: @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

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An Emotions Beat episode about why we suffer alone — and what happens when we don’t.

For years, Jason Yu struggled with skin picking in secret. He didn’t have a name for what was happening. He didn’t know other people dealt with it too. And he felt like if he just had more willpower, he should be able to stop.

Then, after eight years of shame and isolation, Jason found a support group.

In this episode, Yowei talks with Jason about body-focused repetitive behaviors, the strange magic of being understood by strangers, and why support groups can help when friends, family, and even therapy don’t quite reach the lonely center of a problem. Together, they investigate shame, peer support, support group etiquette, red flags, and the radical idea that there may be no one thing that fixes you — but many things that help.

From the episode: 

— Jason Yu — host of the podcast Fidget — on Instagram @fidgetpodcast

— The TLC Foundation —  a resource for body-focused repetitive behaviors

— Jason's book recommendations on. building community — The Art of Gathering and How We Show Up

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Sandy and the Silence for another emotions beat episode about shame, silence, and what changes when people finally say the thing out loud.

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]

Finally, a campaign reveal. Did we get additional funding to hire Kim for more hours? Plus, some updates for what’s in store for Proxy. 

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy, one of the clearest examples of what this show does, or Yowei Can't Speak Bro for a funny investigation into male friendship, bro-speak, and emotional translation.

An Emotions Beat episode about why rituals work — and what they have to do with Proxy.

When Yowei first started pitching Proxy, ritual was part of the concept. Proxy conversations, proxy rituals, “proxuals” — it was a whole thing. She eventually ditched the ritual component because no one understood what she was talking about.

But after making a layoff music video in a Kleenex box costume, Yowei still had a hunch: maybe rituals and proxy conversations are doing something similar.

In this episode, Yowei talks with Mike Norton, author of The Ritual Effect, about why humans invent rituals when ordinary life doesn’t give us one, how rituals help move us from one emotional state to another, and whether a conversation with the right stranger can work like a ritual too.

From the episode:

— Michael Norton — author of The Ritual Effect: From Habit to Ritual, Harnessing the Surprising Power of Everyday Actions— more about his work:www.michaelnorton.com

— Yowei's unhinged grieving ritual for her layoff

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Yowei Can't Speak Bro for a funny investigation into male friendship, bro-speak, and emotional translation.

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org.

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Paid members get bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]

The case of the couple who want answers from HR.

Months after Elliot was laid off, he and his husband Miles are still angry. Not just about losing the job, but about how it happened. The smiling HR rep. The severance paperwork no one explained. The desk he wasn't allowed to pack up. Why is it so hard to get over being treated like you're disposable?

We find them a proxy who's conducted hundreds of layoffs — and been laid off herself.

In this episode, the strange rules of corporate layoffs, what actually happens behind the scenes in HR, and what it takes to move on when you never got the answers you needed.

From the episode:

— Catie Maillard — on LinkedIn — more about her work: www.somehowimanagehr.com

— Yowei's unhinged Gold Star music video

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or Yowei Can’t Speak Brofor a lighter story about male friendship, bro-speak, and emotional translation. 

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org — just click "Join for free." 

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Become a paid member at proxyhq.org for bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]

Please note: This story contains brief mention of suicidal ideation. If you or someone you know may be considering suicide, contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by dialing 9-8-8, or the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741.

The case of the man who's terrified he's next.

After Elliot was laid off, his husband Miles kept working at the same company. Same office. Same HR rep. And now, the constant fear that he might be next. Then Miles heard a rumor: more layoffs were coming on the third Thursday of the month. Danger Day. How do you live with the fear of losing your job when there's nothing you can do to feel safe?

In this episode: the horror-movie logic of layoff anxiety, why losing a job can feel like losing a part of yourself, and what happens when working hard and doing everything right no longer feels like enough.

From the episode:

— Ofer Sharone — sociologist at UMass Amherst, and author of The Stigma Trap: College-Educated, Experienced, and Long-Term Unemployed

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic case, or.HR by Proxy for the first full proxy conversation, where Miles and Elliot get to ask an HR rep the questions they've been carrying. 

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org — just click "Join for free." 

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Become a paid member at proxyhq.org for bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]

The case of the podcast host who got laid off and took it personally.

When Yowei got laid off from NPR, she knew it was a business decision. It wasn't about her performance. She had savings, severance, and support. So why did it still feel like getting rejected by the entire life she'd built? Why does it feel so personal when it's not?

Yowei goes looking for answers, talking to experts about why losing a job can feel so devastating.

In this episode: the history of layoffs, the shame of unemployment, why we tie our self-worth to our jobs, and how getting laid off led to the creation of Proxy.

From the episode:

— Ofer Sharone — sociologist at UMass Amherst, and author of The Stigma Trap: College-Educated, Experienced, and Long-Term Unemployed

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy for a classic Proxy case, or.HR by Proxy, for the first full proxy converstion we ever recorded. 

For episode liner notes, show gossip, and dispatches from the emotions beat, get our free newsletter File Under Feelings at proxyhq.org — just click "Join for free." 

Proxy is an independent show, supported mostly by listeners. Become a paid member at proxyhq.org for bonus episodes, ad-free listening, live Proxy hangs, and the satisfaction of keeping emotional investigative journalism alive 🍏

Follow us on Instagram — @proxypodcast @yoweishaw

Visit — proxypodcast.com

Get in touch — [email protected]

It’s the knot you can’t untangle — a problem so specific, it makes you feel alone. But what if you could talk to someone who gets it? 

On Proxy, we find someone with the closest possible experience to your problem — and follow the conversation that unfolds. It’s not therapy. It’s emotional investigative journalism.

Hosted by Yowei Shaw, former co-host of Invisibilia.

New to Proxy? Try Bisexual Wife Guy, one of the clearest examples of what this show does, or Yowei Can't Speak Bro for a funny investigation into male friendship, bro-speak, and emotional translation.