March 30, 2024

Emerald May on how sex and intimacy coaching can transform a relationship

37 minutes

In this episode we meet Emerald May - an international Embodied Sex, Intimacy & Breathwork Coach. Her passion and mission is to support women and parents to live a more authentic, connected and pleasure-filled life, whilst raising the next generation. I had the pleasure of working with Emerald as a client a few years ago (to be fully transparent), and I can honestly say it was quite an unexpectedly transformative experience.

If you’ve ever wondered what an ‘intimacy coach’ actually does - well now’s your chance to find out! In this warm and wide-ranging interview we cover topics including:

patterns of disconnect and waning of desire in longer term relationships;

how little we are taught when we are growing up around expressing our desires (especially if socialized as female), and how Emerald works to provide the skills, tools, and language for us to manage our emotions and express those desires - and boundaries;

new relationships in midlife are a chance to avoid repeating same patterns and mistakes and learn about our needs (and see the link below to the work of Dr. Evelin Molina Dacker and the STARS Talk Emerald refers to here);

sex and intimacy doesn’t happen in a vacuum - all relationships take work, even the one we have with ourselves, and it’s easy to fall into not prioritizing intimacy, especially if we happen to have children around the house!;

different tools and techniques that Emerald uses, including the Wheel of Consent, the Three Minute Game, the Yes/No/Maybe Game, and Waking the Hands (and listen to this part to learn the term ‘desire smuggling’ and what it means!);

spontaneous desire - and why scheduling time for intimacy is essential.

I hope you enjoy this episode, if you want to find out more about working with Emerald you can find her at http://www.rootedpleasure.com

Here are some of the resources mentioned in this episode:

Wheel of Consent: https://bettymartin.org/category/wheel-of-consent/

STARS Talk: https://www.maketimeforthetalk.com/

Emily Nagosaki - Come Together https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/712001/come-together-by-emily-nagoski-phd/

Cyndi Darnell - Sex When you Don’t Feel Like It - https://rowman.com/ISBN/9781538161708/Sex-When-You-Don%27t-Feel-Like-It-The-Truth-about-Mismatched-Libido-and-Rediscovering-Desire

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You can also find me at www.thetripleshift.org

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By Emma Thomas

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