Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

OVERCOMING FEAR IN RELATIONSHIPS

As a former US Air Force Captain, Bryan Reeves has now become an internationally renowned blogger, life and relationship coach and public speaker after hurling himself into the transformational fires of intimate relationships over and over and over again. With a Masters Degree in Human Relations and massive insight gleaned through countless adventures, Bryan now coaches men, women and couples in creating thriving lives and relationships.

In this episode, Bryan talks with us about his article "You're Ready For All of Her, You're a Goddamn Warrior." He encourages us to recognize how easily we can buy into the story that our achievements and accomplishments determine our worth. When we rely on external validation, we lose our center and crumble with every criticism. He inspires us to let go of our fear for love relationships and connect with our deepest purpose – Self Love.

(These are Show Notes: Be sure to listen to the episode to hear stories, examples, and more tips.)

Bryan addresses the:

• Story that your external accomplishments and achievements are what define your worth.
• False self-truth: "If I don't have money, I am not worthy of love."
• Paradox between caring too much and not caring.
• Feminine energy is often inviting the masculine energy to come into heart.
• Beautiful process for navigating the masculine or navigating the feminine.

"We are missing the deepest truth about what we are here to do, that is to serve love. ~ Bryan Reeves"

MENTIONED:

• Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her) (blog)
• You're Ready For All of Her, You're a Goddamn Warrior (blog)
• Bryan Reeves' website

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss or a situation you would like me to speak to, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here.

Thank you so much for your interest in overcoming fear in relationships! I believe in your success!

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.

Thank you!

If you are interested in developing new skills to meet relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or getting some relationship coaching.

GOOD INTENTIONS IN A RELATIONSHIP

Stuart Fensterheim, LCSW has been a couples counselor for over 30 years. He graduated with a Master of Social Work in 1985 from the University of Maryland and specializes with couples using EFT. He believes that with a power of love and relationships as the basis of all of our happiness, and without a connected relationship, people suffer in their lives. Stuart's focus is on changing the world one relationship at a time.

Stuart is also the host of The Couples Expert Podcast.

In this episode, Stuart talks with us about how to be more create good intentions in a relationship, especially when we are having hurt feelings or issues with our partner. He identifies the importance of rethinking our negative interpretations so that we can set the stage for more connection in our love relationships.

(These are Show Notes: Be sure to listen to the episode to hear stories, examples, and more tips.)

Stuart recommends these practices for setting an intention for a relationship:

• Question your negative interpretations of your partner. Ask yourself, "how does this interpretation help?"
• Take control of your assumptions. Take a risk and work to disprove your assumptions.
• Be open and vulnerable about your relationship needs.
• Recognize "primal pain" or hurt that gets activated in a love relationship.
• Communicate to show your partner how much they mean to you.

MENTIONED:

• The Couples Expert Podcast (iTunes)
• Stuart Fensterheim's Website

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss or a situation you would like me to speak to, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here.

Thank you so much for being interested in setting good intentions in a relationship! I believe in your success!

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please click here.

Thank you!

If you are interested in developing new skills to meet your relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or doing relationship coaching work with me.

Last week, I talked about Why Criticism Is So Painful In Relationship and why criticism is so problematic. I addressed what is happening when we get stuck in cycles of criticism and defensiveness in your love relationship.

Today, I talk about How To Shift Criticism Into Powerful Communication, and I have two resources to give to you.

(These are Show Notes: Be sure to listen to the episode to hear stories, examples, and more tips.)

1-PAGE RELATIONSHIP GUIDE:

Shifting Criticism To Maintain A Healthy Relationship (visit www.drjessicahiggins.com). This 1-page relationship guide is a quick and easy reference tool for transforming constant criticism in a relationship. It offers a side-by-side comparison of what a critical approach looks like versus a more constructive approach.

Most of us know being critical is not the best approach, but we do not know what to do instead. This relationship guide is helpful because it gives you examples of what you can do instead of being critical. There are 21 examples provided on this 1-page PDF.

Example:

Let's say I don't want to eat dessert for 3 weeks. If my goal is to feel healthy and have more energy, I will want to know how I can work towards that goal. While I know I don't want to eat any dessert, I don't know what TO do instead of eating dessert.

It is helpful to think about what I am going to do ahead of time, so when I get a craving, I will be more prepared. When I have a craving, instead of eating a dessert I can:

• Drink a glass of water
• Ask myself, "what am I really wanting right now?" I might be tired and want a nap. I might feel lethargic and need a walk. I might feel lonely and want to call a friend.
• Eat a piece of fruit

It is important to think about these strategies ahead of time. In the moment, we are not going to be thinking about alternative ways of approaching the situation.

What are the qualities you want in your relationship, especially if there is constant criticism? What is the result you want to achieve? Describe your ideal relationship environment (i.e. a relationship that is constructive, safe, supportive, encouraging, etc.).

17 WAYS TO SHIFT CRITICISM IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP:

In this article, 17 Ways to Shift Criticism In Your Relationship, I offer 17 different strategies for you to consider to shift your critical behavior. Whereas the relationship guide (mentioned above) is more of a reference tool, this is an article that offers explanations to the suggestions and recommendations.

Underneath critical behavior, there are usually a few themes going on. Here are three:

1. Learned habits and patterning.

2. Not feeling good enough

3. Not trusting needs will be met

HOW TO REPLACE CRITICISM WITH CONSTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR

Both the 1-page resource guide: Shifting Criticism To Maintain A Healthy Relationship and article: 17 Ways to Shift Criticism In Your Relationship provide several suggestions and examples of how to replace criticism with constructive behavior.

Here are three ways to work with what might be going on underneath the critical tendency:

1. Reset your critical imprint. Identify the people in your life that were critical. Choose to adopt a different mindset and create new habits. Retrain yourself through repetition and practice.

2. Develop more self-worth. Foster a supportive inner voice. Attend to your fears and difficult emotions in a nurturing way (i.e. anxiety and anger). Look for ways to acknowledge and appreciate yourself and your contributions. Gain the belief that you are good enough and worthy.

3. Identifying your needs and ask your partner proactively for what you need and want. In last week's episode, I provided examples of how to turn a critical comment into a proactive statement. This requires developing some assertiveness. Also, here is a communication exercise that will provide guidance for these types of conversations.

Only when we feel comfortable with our own choices — and embrace our own imperfections — will we stop feeling the driving need to criticize others. ~ Brene Brown

Powerful communication begins to occur when we can put these more constructive approaches into practice. Imagine how your relationship would be different if:

• You felt respected, valued, worthy within your relationship
• You and your partner were in the practice of asking one another for what you want and need, within conversations that are productive and harmonious.
• You and your partner work together to create outcomes that are mutually beneficial.
• Your relationship environment is constructive, positive, and considerate.
• You and your partner are growing and learning together so that you can continue to develop a strong, secure, and loving relationship.

7 DAY CHALLENGE – AN INVITATION:

1. Download the 1-page guide: visit www.drjessicahiggins.com

2. Choose one strategy to work with for one week. Select a constructive approach to focus on and implement. When you catch yourself feeling critical, use this constructive approach instead of the critical one. This can be done individually or as a couple (listen to podcast episode for more explanation).

3. Check-in after 7 days. How did it go? What worked well? What didn't work well?

4. Share how it went. You can contact me here, or you can leave a comment below. You can participate anonymously. I will honor your confidence. We can all learn from each other.

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss or a situation you would like me to speak to, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here.

Thank you so much for your interest in eliminating criticism and improving the quality of your relationship! I believe in your relationship success!

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review if you would be willing to click here.

Thank you!

Are you interested in getting support to shift your level of criticism in relationship? If so, you can contact me here. Let's have a conversation to see how I might be able to help. No obligations.

CONSTANT CRITICISM IN RELATIONSHIP IS SO PAINFUL

Most of us know that criticism is not the best behavior to use when relating to our significant others. Yet, we still struggle with it and resorting to the approach when we're unhappy. When we feel challenged by something, it is easy to address the issue by complaining or criticizing.

In this podcast, I provide explanations why we criticize the ones we love the most.

If you recognize ways in which you might be critical, try to make an internal shift to have an attitude of exploration. Ask yourself "how come I get critical sometimes?" Usually, we learn how to be critical along the way from our family or friends. We do the best we can, but we don't have a better way of addressing our concerns.

In my recent article, How To Know If You Are Too Critical In Relationship And Why, I offered 10 signs to identify whether or not you may be more critical than you think. In the article, I addressed 16 reasons why people are highly critical, which will help you understand the reasons why you might be critical too.

(Show Notes: Be sure to listen to the episode to hear stories, examples, and more tips.)

3 OF THE 10 SIGNS OF BEING CRITICAL:

• You are very critical of yourself when you make a mistake (i.e. what do you automatically tell yourself when you make a mistake?). If you are highly critical of yourself, then you are likely to be more critical of others. Examples: "What an idiot! Ugh, I suck! I can't do anything nice. So stupid."
• You micromanage. You have a hard time letting go. If your partner didn't complete a task in your preferred way, you will go afterward and fix it to your liking.
• It is easier to find fault than praise. You will find the flaw rather than focus on the positives.

"I give feedback; you're critical. I'm firm; you're stubborn. I'm flexible; you're wishy-washy. I'm in touch with my feelings; you're hysterical!" ~ Steven Stosny

3 OF THE 16 REASONS WHY YOU MIGHT BE CRITICAL:

• You think if you can manage the world around you, you'll feel less anxious and/or vulnerable (or out-of-control). It is hard to look inward at your own internal discomfort (i.e. feeling anxious or not good enough).
• Being critical of others helps you feel in power and dominant focusing on others weaknesses or shortcomings.
• You grew up in a critical environment, and it was learned behavior.

WHY CRITICISM IS PROBLEMATIC IN A LOVE RELATIONSHIP:

• Criticism is expressed through disapproval, critiquing, correcting, blaming, nitpicking, or trying to fix your partner.
• It is also a major predictor of divorce, according to John Gottman, a major couples researcher.
• Criticism is usually the culprit of other destructive behaviors. When someone hears criticism, they have a natural response to feel defensive or to shut down. In more extreme cases, criticism leads to feelings of hurt and disdain.

"Even in stable, happy relationships: When conflict begins with hostility, defensive sequences result" ~ John M. Gottman

How do we get into this mess? Many of us lead with a complaint or criticism when we talk to our partner about a concern. However, underneath the complaint or criticism, we have an important need, feeling, or desire.

Many of us are sensitive to criticism. Being criticized brings up feelings of feeling bad, being in the wrong, inadequacy, shame, hurt, injustice, etc. We get defensive and push back on the critical statement, by providing evidence as to why the critical statement is not true.

EXAMPLE:

• Husband: "You never clean the kitchen."
• Wife: "Yes, I do. I just cleaned the kitchen last night."
• Husband: "Sure, you cleaned the kitchen once and you expect that to mean you carry your load."
• Wife: "What! You don't think I carry the load in our family."
• Now they are off and running. As you can see, the conversation is escalating quickly. The couple is reacting and defending, which could easily lead to attacking each other. Yet, they are not addressing the underlying needs or concerns.

Over and over again, I see examples of this being played out in love relationships. The complaint or criticism could be about a whole number of issues, like:

• Amount of time spent together
• The quality or quantity of the sexual connection
• How decisions are getting made
• Financial approach, process, and standing
• Chores and responsibilities
• Handling extended family, etc.

One person addresses a concern without knowing what their underlying need is and they approach their partner by criticizing them. Their partner gets defensive and the cycle ensues. They are missing each other. They are not talking about the most important aspects of the issue. Thus, the conversation escalates and both partners leave the conversation feeling attacked, misunderstood, and lonely.

This dynamic can be particularly difficult when one or both partners are feeling threatened on a deeper level. Feeling threatened can activate a person's fight, flight, or freeze response as well as attachment insecurities. The importance of the need can vary in intensity. It can be helpful to ask each other, "how important is this to you, on a scale from 1 to 10?"

Most of us want our partner to just get it and interpret what we are saying and feeling, even though we are not explicitly stating it. Can you imagine how the conversation would be different with these statements if they were communicated at the beginning of the conversation?

EXAMPLES:

A concern about time:

• Fear/worry/feeling: I am worried you don't enjoy spending time with me.
• Desire: I would like to spend some time with you.
• Need: I want to feel close and connected to you.

A concern about sex:

• Fear/worry/feeling: I feel sad when you don't want to make love.
• Desire: I want to feel connected with you sexually.
• Need: I want to have a healthy sex life.

A concern about decision-making:

• Fear/worry/feeling: I feel angry when you make big decisions without me.
• Desire: I want us to come together when we have big decisions to make.
• Need: I want to feel equality in our relationship.

I help clients go through the process of identifying how they feel, take ownership for their experience, and voice their desires and feelings to their partner. The shift is powerful!!! The communication is clean and clear. Their partner can actually hear the message directly and more openly, without getting defensive.

Next week, I will offer you tips on how to shift criticism into powerful communication. I will also talk about the benefits of creating a more constructive and non-critical learning environment for your relationship.

Are you interested in getting support to end constant criticism in your relationship? If so, you can contact me here. Let's have a conversation to see how I might be able to help. No obligations.

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss or a situation you would like me to speak to, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here.

Thank you so much for being interested in improving the quality of your relationship! I believe in your relationship success!

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review, if you would be willing to click here.

Thank you!

If you are interested in developing new skills to meet relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or getting some relationship coaching.

Getting a "no" can be incredibly painful as it can bring up rejection issues in relationships. In this podcast episode, you will learn what happens when you get a frequent "no" in a love relationship and how you can deal with that "no" in a more healthy and non-threatening way.

(Show Notes: Be sure to listen to the episode to hear stories, examples, and more tips.)

WHAT IS A "NO?"

• Emotionally checking out or emotionally leaving the relationship
• Ultimatums and doubts, such as "yes – but"
• Break-up or divorce

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE GET A "NO"

• People feel triggered and activated by love.
• People don't know how to deal with their reactions so they behave unskillfully.
• People don't have a growth mindset – where they can see their love relationship as an opportunity for healing, integration, or development.

HOW TO DEAL WITH REJECTION IN LOVE RELATIONSHIPS

• Know yourself – better understand what you desire and what you want.
• Value yourself – value your worth, qualities, and contributions.
• Be a "yes" to you – accept and stand for what you want and desire.

MENTIONED:

• Enchanted Love, by Marianne Williamson (book)
• What Does The Development Of Intimacy Look Like In Relationship (article)
• Nine Destructive Behaviors To Avoid During Relationship Conflict (article)

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss or a situation you would like me to speak to, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here.

Thank you so much for your interest in eliminating rejection issues in your love relationship! I believe in your relationship success!

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.

Thank you!

If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or getting some relationship coaching.

LISTENING IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Applying listening skills in an intimate relationship is not realistic in every moment you are together. However, if you can show up for your partner on occasion (especially when they have strong feelings about something) then this type of deep listening can transform the quality of your relationship, helping you feel closer, connected, and more intimate.

It's easy to think you are listening but are you really? When you know your partner so well, it is likely you can look at them and read their cues and have a pretty good sense of what is going on. However, if you don't pause to deeply listen, you can get into the position of assuming or missing your partner completely.

(This page contains my podcast show notes. Be sure to listen to the episode to hear stories, examples, and more tips.)

LISTENING IN RELATIONSHIP IS NOT:

• Waiting to talk
• Interrupting
• Judging or evaluating
• Offering advice or solutions
• Agreeing or disagreeing
• Assuming you know
• Multitasking, being distracted, or preoccupied

HOW TO LISTEN BETTER IN A RELATIONSHIP:

• Offer your undivided attention, where your focus is exclusively on your partner and you are giving your full attention
• Give good eye contact
• Be engaged and offer non-verbal cues (i.e. head nodding, utterances)
• Be present – focus on the here and now
• Be available and receptive
• Offer genuine interest and curiosity
• Be patient
• Appreciate your partner's perspective
• Seek to understand and look for the sense and positive aspect.

BENEFITS OF LISTENING SKILLS IN RELATIONSHIP:

• Keeps you from getting defensive
• Helps you suspend judgement
• Prevents misunderstandings
• Helps you gain new information, as well as learn something new
• Offers the opportunity to find a shared goal or common ground
• Helps your partner know they will feel heard and understood
• Helps your partner feel important, special, and that they matter to you
• Demonstrates you are there for them
• Creates intimacy, closeness, and strengthens the emotional bond
• Offers goodwill

HOW TO LISTEN BETTER IN A RELATIONSHIP:

Ask for the time

• Be explicit and state your desire for listening – don't want feedback or suggestions.
• Do not interrupt your partner's activity and expect or demand that they listen immediately. You want to offer respect and consideration while asking for a moment of their time.
• If your partner is wanting your attention right away and you need more time to respond, state that you need a moment to think about it.
• Try to listen only when you are in a good position. If you have limited energy to give, schedule another time.

HOW TO OFFER ACTIVE LISTENING IN RELATIONSHIP. HERE ARE SOME RESPONSES TO CONSIDER:

• "I am interested in what you are saying, would you like to say more? Can you tell me more?"
• Ask a question to learn more.
• Offer reflection of the content and emotion. "Wow, that sounds frustrating." "I am getting that ______."
• Check out what you are hearing, or clarify "So, you are saying is ___________."
• "If I imagine myself in that situation, I would feel ________________."
• "What is the hardest part? What is the most significant part to you?"
• "What are you really wanting me to get?"

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." ― Maya Angelou

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss or a situation you would like me to speak to, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here.

Thank you so much for your interest in how to listen better in a relationship! I believe in your relationship success!

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review if you would be willing to click here.

Thank you!

If you are interested in developing new skills to meet relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or getting some relationship coaching.

HOW TO BALANCE WORK AND LOVE LIFE

These are my podcast show notes: Be sure to listen to the episode to hear stories, examples, and more tips.

Last week, I interviewed Dr. Jenev Caddell, She specializes in helping entrepreneurs balance work and relationships. She talked about the importance of making your relationship a priority, especial during busy work times. Today, I would like to share a few more tips.

Today, I would like to go into a little more depth. Here are some tips to consider:

1. TRUST

• Find a balance between security and growth.
• Security allows you to take risks and grow.
• Being resourced
• Reassurance ("This is temporary. We are going to get through this.")
• Belief ("We love each other. We are strong.")

2. COMMUNICATION

• "I'm not going to be as available for a period of time"
• Talk about ways to work together
• Be mindful about checking in and inviting communication

3. AGREEMENTS

• Negotiate new agreements for clear expectations
• Follow through with your commitments (commit to less)
• Say things like, "Let me know if this isn't working for you."
• Say other things like, "Let me know when you need me"

4. EFFORT

• Demonstrate regard, consideration, and care when you can
• Be conscious of your actions and contributions
• Say words of acknowledgment
• Make time to be present
• Give your undivided attention

5. AWARENESS OF STRESS

• Reference the Stress Response Curve
• Recognize your cues –emotionally (irritable, quick to anger, overwhelmed), mentally (distracted, preoccupied), physically(shortness of breath, muscle tension, bumping into things, accident prone), socially (less connected and close, less positive interactions)
• Work to destress and find balance
• Do Self-care (sleep, nutrition, physical activity)
• Take breaks (time to disconnect, get away, get some perspective)
• Be aware of your breathing patterns

6. RECONNECT

• Allow time (not going to happen right away)
• Communicate desire
• Be available
• Be patient
• Debrief
• Appreciate one another

FREE VIDEO SERIES:

Gain Instant Access to the 7 Biggest Pitfalls To Relationship Success & How To Overcome Them – Free Video.

MENTIONED:

• Learn more about the Five Love Languages (article)
• The 5 Love Languages, By Gary Chapman (book)
• The Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory (assessment)
• Making And Keeping Agreements To Strengthen Your Relationship (podcast)

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss or a situation you would like me to speak to, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here.

Thank you so much for your interest in how to balance your work and love life! I believe in your relationship success!

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review if you would be willing to click here.

Thank you!

If you are interested in developing new skills to meet relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or getting some relationship coaching.

BALANCING WORK AND RELATIONSHIPS

These are my podcast show Notes. Be sure to listen to the episode to hear stories, examples, and more tips.

Dr. Jenev Caddell is a love & success coach and clinical psychologist who helps entrepreneurs be happier in love. She believes that entrepreneurs are responsible for changing the world, and with rock solid relationships, they can do this even more effectively.

Jenev is the author of Your Best Love: The Couples Workbook and Guide to Their Best Relationship and founder of www.mybestrelationship.com.

In this podcast episode, Dr. Jenev Caddell talks with us about the new science of love and connection. She shares important tips on how to strengthen your bond and how to make your relationship a priority, thus bringing a balance of work and relationships.

Jevev helps us explore the question "ARE you there for me?"

• Accessibility – are you reachable and available?
• Responsiveness – are you responding to your partner?
• Engaged – are you emotionally present for your partner?

When you can answer "yes" to these questions with your partner, you can build a solid and strong foundation together as a couple.

FREE VIDEO SERIES:

Gain Instant Access to the 7 Biggest Pitfalls To Relationship Success & How To Overcome Them – Free Video.

MENTIONED:

• The Significance Of Your Significant Other (article)
• Soothing the Threatened Brain (video)
• Hold Me Tight (book)
• Still Face Experiment (video)
• Thriving In Business And Love (Facebook Group)

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss or a situation you would like me to speak to, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here.

Thank you so much for your interest in balancing work and relationships! I believe in your success!

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review if you would be willing to click here.

Thank you!

If you are interested in developing new skills to meet relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or getting some relationship coaching.

OVERCOMING LIFE CHALLENGES AND DIFFICULT TIMES

These are my podcast show notes. Be sure to listen to the episode to hear stories, examples, and more tips.

Bruce Van Horn is a dad, bestselling author, speaker, thought leader, transformational life coach, business owner, marathon runner, and cancer conqueror. He is also the host of "Life Is A Marathon," a popular internet radio show (podcast) with listeners in over 187 countries around the world. Bruce loves sharing his life experiences and respected insight to help people overcome life challenges and difficult times. Bruce loves people and loves coaching them to become the fullest expression of who they were created to be. He lives in Richmond, Virginia.

In this episode, Bruce teaches us some critical keys to overcoming life challenges and difficult times. He shares his personal adversity story in great depth, with authenticity, and whole-heartedness.

Gain Instant Access to Relationship Skills No One Ever Taught You – Free Video Series.

MENTIONED:

• Bruce Van Horn
• Life Is A Marathon
• Worry No More! 4 Steps to Stop Worrying and Start Living

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss or a situation you would like me to speak to, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here.

Thank you so much for your interest in overcoming life challenges and difficult times! I believe in your success!

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review if you would be willing to click here.

Thank you!

If you are interested in developing new skills to meet relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or getting some relationship coaching.

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN THAT MAKE RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGING.

These are my podcast show notes. Be sure to listen to the episode to hear stories, examples, and more tips.

Kathryn Foster, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice in Ft Worth, Texas.With a masters degree in marriage family counseling and a Ph.D. in Psychology, she has practiced psychotherapy for 27 years. She is also the author of two novels of psychological interest- Sessions: Memoirs of a Psychotherapist and Finding My Way. She has written two nonfiction companion books to The Naked Truth About Men (And Romance). They are What Women Want….Really! (written for men but meant to be read by couples) and When Your Relationship Changes (how to find strength).

GET MY FREE EBOOK: 7 COMMON RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS AND HOW TO FIX THEM

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COMMON FOR MEN:

• High in testosterone
• Hunters
• Lower in empathy
• Less verbal communication
• Sex is emotional closeness

COMMON FOR WOMEN:

• High in oxytocin
• Nurturers and care givers
• High in empathy
• More verbal communication
• Language helps to feel emotionally close.

Dr. Kathryn Foster talks with us about some very important biological and hormonal differences between men and women, which impacts our language, emotions, needs, and desires in relationship. All of these difference influence the way we seek connection and what we expect in a relationship. Women primarily want to feel emotionally close through talking and sharing, and men primarily want to feel emotionally close through sexual intimacy.

MENTIONED:

• Dr. Kathryn Foster
• The Naked Truth About Men (And Romance)
• What Women Want….Really!: A pocketbook guide for men
• The Sex Starved Marriage – TED Talk

If you have a topic you would like me to discuss or a situation you would like me to speak to, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here.

Thank you so much for your interest in how should a man act in a relationship! I believe in your success!

Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review if you would be willing to click here.

Thank you!

If you are interested in developing new skills to meet relationship challenges, please consider taking the Empowered Relationship Course or getting some relationship coaching.