Is it possible that today's evil powers were spawned by the original trailer for Jurassic Park? I debate the ethics of love vs infatuation with the computer. A ladybug infestation and squirrel lawyers. Enjoy!

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Calling people by there last name is for gym teachers only. Earth is an uninhabitable wasteland where you can Venmo kombucha money, but you can't bring a cockatoo into a nightclub without paying twice the cover. Enjoy!

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Elephants are mystic gods. Ants are enlightened. Crows are the OG gutter punks. My whole life is musical theater. Enjoy!

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Prince sang that Uptown don't let society tell us how it's supposed to be. Eventually, that little dive surrendered to the bourgeoisie curtain. A shiny white Apple Store crushed it, leaving only the bouncer's Frye boots sticking out. Enjoy!

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I tried banana soda. I cried banana soda. Beware the warm banana soda. I dreamed you were a dog. Now I'm hiding in your shoe till summer returns. Enjoy! 

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I had a birthday party for a dog then caught some mouse ghosts in my garage. The new party jam for 2004 is called "Blindsided". Enjoy! 

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The espresso narc pours coffee for nobody in an attempt to prove that plants sing when picked. Enjoy! (Also, Dark Side Of The Rainbow is a sham) 

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A friend hears combustable music, goth tiki rapping, and fascinating facts (totally untrue) Enjoy!

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A space rapper comes from Jupiter for coconuts, meanwhile a sassy ant knows where you live. All that's left to do now, is bet on horses and cross your coconuts. Enjoy!

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Something is wrong with the squirrels of the world when a computer has a rap battle at a job interview, now it's up to a duck to save the day. Enjoy!

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