I don't know how to write this scene,
The former child stars of the LATE 90's EARLY 2000's era
Lol, how do you write something like this
A STRANGE CULT has gathered, a large tabernacle-like choir chanting ceremoniously, cloaked beneath the long robes and thick plumes of smoke, hidden deep within the confines of a candlelit cavern, adorned with mystifying and mysterious objects.
Don't put me around famous people, guys.
Kesha blew my mind like 4 years ago and it still keeps me up at night.
The Chanting reaches it's peak and comes to a close, as a–
How much money is it going to take to get all of these people in a room together at one time.
WHAT THE FUCK DRAKE. I TOLD YOU NO CUPCAKES.
I TOLD EVERYONE THERE WOULD BE COOKIES.
Why Does Josh Peck talk in all caps?
So– is she– ‘The Forgotten One'
CULT, UNANIMOUSLY “The Forgotten One”
The shadowy figure removes his hood to reveal himself as DRAKE BELL
DUDE. You're not supposed to take your hood off!
Everything's on fire and I had to run around and get cupcakes!
–And that's where we left off:
JOSH PECK also removes his hood, revealing himself to the audience.
Woah. what episode of Drake and Josh is THIS
WHAT THE FUCK DRAKE. I TOLD YOU NO CUPCAKES.
I TOLD EVERYONE THERE WOULD BE COOKIES.
Aw, what–there's no cookies?
(Crowd disapproval; everyone deflates and begins taking off their hoods and cloaks, clamoring.)
THE DISNEY CHANNEL CIRCLE OF STARS Enter Dramatically through every possible entrance, much like the cast of a critically-acclaimed Broadway musical.
Uh. One where the cast enters through the aisle. Duh.
That was the whole point.
After a large MUSIC/DANCE number.
How are we gonna get ALL THESE MOTHERFUCKERS
SUPACREE wakes up at a mysterious RAVE.
Celebrities loooooooove parties.
Yeah–that too, but we don't like to think about that.
Or one of it's subsidiaries, none of which are
You Auctioned Off The Festival Project on The Black Market?
I don't know. Something about cookies.
At the height of the chaos, SUPACREE strolls in.
Ah shit, cupcakes! I love these.
(gasps and whispers, whippets in the back)
OKay. Deep thought process collison
Either someone's a genius and set this whole thing up
Or Hollywood just fucks people up enough that
Whippets. I need more whippets.
oh golly, everyone's fucked up.
Orrrr, orr–they're just having fun.
Coincidences don't exist.
A COINCIDENCE THIS IS NOT.
How are you this deep in my consciousness.
Oh yeah, I watched The Wackness.
So wait. Everyone's just real hot–
OMG WHAT'S IN THE DUFFEL BAG .
HOW MUCH IS THIS GONNA COST???
Can we please have a stereotypically jewish accountant for this project?
I think so. Especially Amanda Bynes. Hey,
How are you not freaking out?!
Besides, it's just a dream.
I'm dreaming. None of this is real.
I can be gross. It's my dream.
No, you don't understand. Because you're in my dream;
But i'm dreaming. I'll probably just wake up in a couple of minutes when I'm finished with this cupcake…and really want cupcakes.
How did you even get here?!
What reality do you think this is?
FLASHBACK: HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA 2010
Nothing really matters anymore,
Drastic, disasterful thoughts
Look, go back to Hollywood–
But just started fame college
I'll need that doctorate to call
–Honestly, don't come back.
I filled up half a chapter
(Don't want your autograph)
I wrote a paragraph after,
10 songs, and wanted a cocktail
Was the tip of the Ice Berg
And the whole ship has [s]unk[en],
[&] I[t]'s probably ice cold
At the bottom of the ocean;
I'll tell you where i'm from
I'll tell you anything for
I've already got one eye on you;
I should probably roll out my art on you
Another, a whole night from her–
One man bought a whole farm
The other, a Whole Foods Market
–and you can't even franchise those
We were playing for corners of earth,
All i got was some kandi,
Subscriptions to candidly,
I really liked the tree trial
(I think i'll wait a week, sorry)
The world that you wanted
Was actually hours already
And the money they wanted and got
Was just actually stolen from someone else
They bought all the food up
Once costs nothing at all
But you wanted that car for your daughter
She's got a mercedes and don't even drive it
Of all the garages in Lost Lands,
I promise the owner of it was
And the last to come home
Now he's on his own alter
Oh, you don't wanna know that
It's bottoms and tops, and
We don't let the top fall over,
And this muffin costs $24 dollars
Pour a whole bottle of coconut water out on the sidewalks
Not dead in the general sense
But just in the head, the heart,
The homeless are happier at McDonalds
Than asking at crossroads and crosswalks
For dollars I'd rather spend elsewhere
I'll avoid the power struggle at operations
for about 18 dollars and 56 sense
(Please, keep the pennies)
I'm feeling around in my 6th sense that there's
Something indecent, or decadent
Cause i'm better of with the memory of it
Than actually dragging it in.
Of course it hurts, you just had heart surgery without any anistetics.
YEah, but to be fair–that was a lot of acid.
Yes, but lucily* for you–
Lucily for us, there's no lethal amount of acid.
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