[ENTER THE MULTIVERSE]

I been telepathically programming bitches

To mimick this addictive obsession with [Expletive]

If anything just to hop up on his dicks in

Get his attention

And end his

Ahem

Apparently awful//awesome marriage edits in multidimensions, for the unmentionable shit that might just hit too close to home, for some

What

Be a parent to your son,

They said

I said,

Hey, man

I'm just a dear old dad with bad habits

It's a trap, you know!

You can't trust us bitches

I took pictures of this bitches ass

To put on top of the dead presidents

Hell yes, I said

Get dressed man,

It isn't hygienic,

All that shit we just did,

Remember?

I live in a trash can!

(It's a dumpster but)

[IT's actually really nice in here, what the fuck]

Damn, alright what is that

Idk

#RIPJImmyFallon

I was fasting like a maniac when that hashtag happened

You just can't come back from that,

You just can't ever

Get back to the dad joke

The man told.

That pulled you out of that last fast,

Like I did

From that man whole!

FLAGPOLE

FLAGPOLE

—what?

OHFD.

*OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

-The Rock And The Kite

As told by

Who's that guy

Uh.

TESTPILOT.

I need some sages

And stages

And sages in this bitch!

I need some

Pages and

Playlists and

Paiges in this bitch

It just goes

On an on for days,

This just gets crazy in this bitch

Can't say

Expletives because peacock is paying for this bitch!

Nevermind,

Lets just do Netflix?

Pass.

Amazon Prime?

This costs too much for us

I'll do this : every dime I own,

Will go straight up your but

I

Is that an innuendo for ‘anal.plug'

No, don't be gross!

But I'm supposed to be gross

(Going back and forth with Alec Baldwin)

You win.

Win WHAT

You're the best.

All your brothers are the off-awkward versions of you.

*YES*.

30+ Rock

ID please.

Here you go.

Sorry. No go.

What do you mean.

We're 21.

I'm actually 23, but.

No can do.

This lounge is 30 Plus

30 PLUS?

WHATTHEPLUG.

Yup.

Sorry kiddos.

I'mfilthyDRUNK.

I'm an ADULT.

Pfft. That's what you think.

Are you serious!?

Serious as a heart attack; which,

I'm at higher risk of actually having,

Because I'm allowed in here. So

Consider yourself lucky!

PSH! I could have a heart attack if I want to!

PSHH.

PSHHHHHHHH.

Hold your liquor, punk!

I'll hold you—all night long!I

—see you in like a decade!

PSSSHSHUTUP.

Shh. C'mon, lets go.

Apparently, though

According to some voice inside,

He's miserable

I call it insertinct*

Or psychic inclinations,

But perhaps that just my

Hormonal fluctuations

And high hopes to open up a portal

And jump into some

Seriously self deprecating behavior,

Or some other alien shit

Who the fuck can say, anyway

You can't say any of these things publicly

-1And actually expect to get away with them.

You're just an asshole,

That's a whole ass scandal waiting to happen

I'll just light a candle and pray about it

“God will work it out,” I said

I'll just keep working out

Avoiding bread, and figure out how to get out of debt

Maybe crowdfunding?

Somebody wake him up, yet?

Nope, nothin.

Mm. Poptarts.

That's why I called it

“The Allegory of [Redacted]” after all

He's practically infinite except for

That part

And-1

That's that nigga!

Are you sure.

Fuck yeah,

JIMMY FALLOn(s)

Fuck you, dude.

SUNNI BLU (shrugging)

Whatever.

All they played was Fallon in the pen, bro.

Really?

YeahYeah. And Sesame Street. And he even on THAT mo'fucker.

Aight.Aight. you want ‘em.

I got ‘em.

Straight shot?

Straight and clean.

Aight, then.

Well, alright then.

[JIMMY FALLON is shot in a driveby.]

“First Person Shooter”

First person shooter is a live action open world game where.

{BLAT}

OH NO.

AHAHA.

Wait. The guns are REAL?

The whole world's in slow motion.

Nobody's supposed to know this kind of stuff, you know—

Nobody's supposed to go there

–I hope she doesn't post or publish this anywhere.

Sure, that's what they all say,

But hey, you could never love me anyway

I'm on my way up

I'm on my way up to Heaven

Fuck this

It's just this shit

Over and over again

All for the sake of the artform,

All of up in arms,

No comfort

non conformist,

With no money

and no hopes left,

Just a bunch of

Too much, conscious

And time on her hands

Shes got

One hand on the gun

Underworld

The other on the Trigger

Which means

Each hand has a gun in it

Gun in it

Gun in it

EXT. MEXICO. DAY

[Crying inconsolably in a hammock]

COSMIC AVENGER

(as a bird)

I WILL AVENGE THIS!!!!!

Man, I miss that bird,

I wonder if he ever sings

“I miss that girl”

Gosh, he followed me everywhere

I loved to hear him there,

Even when I moved,

He found me

Must have been God in that bird

Must have been God on that mountain

talking some shit about

Jimmy Fallon

–That was a long fast.

(The fucking longest)

My veins, they ached

At least a week, I think

Some haloed being,

Urging me to urgently

just spill the blood

for sweet relief,

Wavering, I needed something

Soothing, pleading

Leaning in my weakness

Back and forth ,

And that was when

The fascination displayed

With affection the affliction

of infliction and in reflection

of James turned Patrick

Her turned to the successor

He returned up to the surface

The servitor became the alter

After all and only in ever after
The Procter, A doctor astonished him

In neverland, somewhere beyond Asension

Where the story starts and ends,

Here.

Oh man.

This Jimmy Fallon dude is gonna fucking hate me

Who is that again?

I don't fucking know, honestly.

Hello, John.

Woah.

Don't open this box.

Okay.

woah , this just came in crystal clear..

[A young and disheveld looking, tired young man turns on the television; Some sort of special, hosted by a popular commedienne and actress sparks his interest almost magnetically, and even seems to call to him.]

Why, Hello, Jim.

I'm–I'm Jim.

Well, you're James.

I am James!

For now, actually.

Well, forever, actually…

Wtf is this.

This is a parallel dimension, I guess, where everything that happened to me, just happens to this guy, and I'm—

wait , who are you then.

I'm glad you're watching this.

Wait, who are you?

I'm you!

I–doubt that.

Don't.

Huh!

Fuck, that's when I started wondering about–

HEY.

What the fuck, man.

Did we ever figure out Jimmy Fallon's Skrillex?

Not…yet, but…

No. No. no. NO.

It's not like i've tried to.

You see,

As they say

This Fallon

Is the front man

for a larger operation at hand

Hold onto your hat kids,

Here comes the axe,

Have your heads ready

To get disconnected at the neck,

Cause this shit gets

NECK- BREAK.

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

Crazy.

No political affiliations, ever!

Your inattention to the deficit, the prerequisite

Inquizitive kid, this one

A wizard at this, that

He waxes and waxes off,

Smokes with his left hand

And slaps the shit out of that

oncoming diaster with his right

SLAP.

AaaaaaaYY.

That's for–the bike incident.

Okay. alright, Fallon. You win.

That's fucking right, and I'm gonna keep winning.

Now get your shit together.

Oh.

And stop calling me Fallon;

My name's Patrick.

What is WRONG with him

(I'm doing this method)

I don't think this dude is eligible to play this character at all, but i'll just dedicate it to him—

He is devistatingly attractive, and apparently super-professional so,

Of course

They had to hire him for SNL, but also….

THIS SHIT NEVER ENDS, DOES IT?

NOPE.

MORE CORNBREAD?

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAAA

YES PLEASE.

his punctuality is perfect;

His punchlines, astounding

In actuality, he's kind of an asshole

Abandoned Catholosism for entertainment

It's just engrained in him to be deranged,

Rearranged his images for campaigns against hatred

Hey, lets save this for another lesson,

Okay, kids?

The worst part is

I think i'm a genius

The other worst part is,

Nobody can read this

The other worst part

Is the worst part of all

I got words

But no money to dream with

It's just sequences of sequence

Beyoncé dancing with coffee

The plot thins and gets thick again

Cause my budget alternates between ketogenics

and cost-effective carb days

My neighborhood's getting worse

It's covered in trash and littered with ignorant [explitive]

Motorists interrupting arcadian rhythms

And all i want is some dick

And fried chicken

I'm so tired of this

The American Nightmare

Could be a dream, but then i'd be

Up there

On stage

A fast forward
I been up for four days

Hard working as ever

In a hard hat,

I'm so blazed

And these days

Tina Fey just says

“Hey” every now and again

Cause i've been obsessed

With her success/or

It fuckin sucks, man

It came on suddenly

What if i told you I've been attached to this project since the beginning

When's the beginning?

Uhhh, i'd say,

:”get out of my head, Jimmy Fallon, you're an imaginary Psycho fucking fart created as a result of my brain collapsing after imminent death from a successful suicide?”

Is that a question?

It had a question mark on it for inflection.

Well, inflect this: you're right. I fucking–hate you.

Okay! I'm assuming you also hate yourself,

And you're also Skrillex.

Okay, you're only correct, because that's entirely accurate,

And also, you're Jesse Eiseinberg.

Okay.

OKay.

OKAY?

OKAY.

Fuck, I hate you.

I fucking hate you.

MEANWHILE,

Everyone's Grammy Awards begin projecting strange messages to its recipients.

What the fuck, dog.

The more of them you have…

[ L E G E N D S ]

What if Kurt Cobain

Kept you up at night,

screaming

“Let me out”

But you don't know how

So you turn on the tube,

Just,

Kind of confused

Just to do what you do

The truth, it alludes you

Don't even know who this dude is,

But he's cute

Don't need this stupid music

Would you just

Shut up

Let me shoot up some drugs

Stuff some straws up my nose,

Because I am the Walrus

Fuck!

If i run out of smoke

I can choke on some dramamine,

I think i found the first mouse

After that kid

Left my house in a stretcher

Left my house in a stretcher!

So what happens after

OWSLA shapeshifts into Jimmy Fallon

And makes him the master of ceremonies

In the tragic conflict of interest—

Which happens to be The Festival Project

Cause nobody wants to understand or polish

this

Abolishment of slavery?

“Amen”

She keeps praying

“Amen”

He keeps playing his game

Okay, kids

This hatred that's been described as “mental illness”

Up until (When?)

—Is actually just poverty and inequality

Building up in all of us

It's just distrust and lust buddy,

Get out of the spin for a minute

But if I did,

I wouldn't finish it

However

What's an end to Infinite?

—Nothin.

WAYWAYEXT. NOTHING. NEVER.

Pass the butter.

Pass the WHAT

What is “butter”

What is WHAT? SHUT UP.

Shut Up WHAT? I don't exist, remember?

Stuck in your head

You're stuck in my head

Shut the fuck up then

You're mumbling again

Quit doing drugs, then

Who do you love

What is love

Shut the fuck, up

Bitch

Butter

What

Shut

WHAT

UP

FUCKYOU THEN

*nothing*

Nothing but an 8 millimeter penis,

A fishing pole, half a sandwhich

And some actor,

I don't care who it is

As long as

Nothing and no one makes sense

For at least

A century after this

The algorithm is getting different

I should spin it to a record

Or let one of these other niggas spit it

Cause i'm frazzled as fuck and just can't handle the madness, man

I got another hat to slap you with

It says DUNCE on it

What? No it doe—

*hat slap *

Don't be so fucking gullible,

Asshole.

Give that one to Marshall Mathers

I imagined it was narrated by actors

Rappers, and other masters of the craft

Cause by the time I finish it

I'll be dead as Fallon is

I should gather up the lawers I'mma need

For this class action

ACTION!

Wait, you mean, we're actually doing this series??

YES.

Oh— FUCK.

What.

Everything is YES.

YES.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHPPPLLLES

JERRY?

No, it's JASON SUDAKIS.

[FALLON being FALLON]

Hey look! It's–

IT'S JASON SUDAKIS!

Everybody!

JASON SUDAKIS

SHOVE IT, FALLON.

I read your wiki.

FALLON

…did you LAUGH?

JASON SUDAKUS

FUCK NO. IT WAS TRAGIC. WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR LIFE?

FALLON

(Shrugs)

I don't know yet, actually…

I don't know how to describe how,

This guy now,

Is just the

Overseer of everything under us,

Like a cameo appearance, but—

…Why is he just up there like that?

Cause whatever the fuck Kesha said

At the beginning of this 7 year curse

Fucked up all space and time and…

[Thank You]

He parks the hearse with the coffin in it,

he can't stop coughing

And now it's public knowledge

The curse was reversed

With the censorship of the cursewords,
The flow of the work of art known as

The Festival Project

Shit gets touchy, though,

Nobody ever touched me

With anymore

Than their superstardom and own art projects

I do it for the art,

And just

Know nobody can love me and trust me

After all I've come up from

And through

But dude,

I should just—

Yo, Mr Protagonist

I got a few words for you

I been on my knees at the pews

Confused as fuck as why God chose us

To do this dumb show,

Just show up ,

And stop smoking
Switch the flow up a little,

Try not to throw up, though

When you blow up,

OKay?

Okay.

Okay

OKay

I wanna be so pretty

He sends for me

I wanna spend thanksgiving in LA

And Christmas in New York City

Nevermind

Reverse that

I want it the other way

I wanna see the Macy's Parade

From the right place, this time

With my son

In my arms

But

I don't want no

Problems

I don't want no problems

With the fake shaman

Who hates saying he's the one that's crazy

But love making games

taking turquoise and sending demons after me

So he says

but —

I've been dead since

Getting stuck in the spiders web

With liars and writers and high up men

Who love girls half my age enough to

Buy them a ticket

Some hush money

some lunch

probably some purse or something

Here

Sign the NDA;

And you might be famous

The industry hates me
Cause i can type,

But almost never say it

Living in fear of motorcycles and stock cars racing up my block

It's tearing into my heart so much

I might just have a heart attack

And die, I hope

Stick a serrated knife up my spine

And my veins pulse

Like i'm supposed to just

Kill myself

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2019-2024 | THE COMPLEX COLLECTIVE. ©

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

-Ū.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_aLRVCa76U

The Blackness

You can't escape it.

The likes of the United States of America masterminded the false flag “terror attack” on its own citizens in 2001 in order to deceive it's citizens into a police state to suit the New World Order;

Now, New York City preys upon its weakest and most vulnerable inhabitants via inhumane psychological terrorism, gangstalking, terror hacking, and other forms of psycholotical terrorism in order to maintain the inequivocal social and justice issues plaguing the united states of Asmerica; the globalization of a one-world government, and the continuation of the human slavetrae system from which the United states of america has built itself and has been thriving on, priding itself on being the strongest country in the world: However, it shall soon see its own de mise, with the importation of hundreds of thousands of non-natural citizens in an attempt to close the plummeting world economy, thereby once again prioritizing thousands of lives over the lives of the Indigenous and involuntarily Imported descendants of the AFRICAN BLACK american slaves

YOU'RE BLAAAAA—-

I get it. Shut up.

BLACK.

Please be quiet.

BLAC

shh .

B

please shut up.

I'm allowed to have an extreme distaste for impoliteness

Disgusting habits

Lack of hygiene

Honestly, I don't care what color you are

Stop disturbing the peace

NO JUSTICE NO–

SHUT UP.

Listen, I don't want to go through this again.

I'm not going to kill myself

Not today satan.

I have too much to–

Oh, really, I have nothing better to do than

Make money?

MAKE MONEY.

Broke ass bitch.

You realize, blacks

mexicans

Immagrants

poor whites

ugly /fat people

that you're all still slaves.

that the people telling you that “it's okay to not be ok”

Are the exact people making everything not ok

for profit.

Oh, but also if your family owned slaves and property from slavery you should have to give a certain amount of your income to re-allocate some of the resources you–

well , lets just face it

STOLE

YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

WASH YOUR FUCKING PUSSY.

(and also just

*coughing*

*toxcity*

*grossness*

getaway from me..

*coughing*

gross .

*talking on the phone at 5 am*

Mmmmmmmmmhmm

SHUT

Yo. Where are the indigenous people?

Dead.

or somewhere out there claiming to be 1/32.1/2th Cherokee and pretending not to listen to taylor swift.

I MADE IT.

I actually hate you.

I knew it was a set up from the moment i walked in the door.

There she sat, hunched over in the corner, almost hiding as if to try to surprise me.

But I had already been psychologically tortured with the permanant record of my own past with enough audacity that I understood that I was being provoked and manipulated;

And I was tired of it.

They all coughed.

They all wanted to have “random” “friendly conversations about my

Pedophile Wifebeater ExHusband.

God Help Him

(No, Seriously, help him)

Because— he tore my son away from me

and e

verybody in

Very racist, very right wing, very color-coded, colonized

Rural Alaska

Assured that i

(being a black woman)

was the problem.

–and you know what?

Perhaps I was.

WHAT HAPPENED TO FELEYSHA WILLIAMS.

Idk. she's probably dead or tweaked out somewhere.

I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.

Ok. But you're ging to have to torture me consistently for at least a few weeks until we fight.

He deserves custody. You're crazy.

Cool. i don't want to spend the rest of my life arguing with someone who looks like someone who ruined my life trying to explain why it's salad until after puberty just to make sure his beauty doesn't ruin his life.

Because all he eats is processed foods and plays video games and watches anime anyway so,

Really it's a perfect world, for him.

He's a perfect boy.

I was told he didn't love me

Didn't want me

Didn't ask about me

And didn't need me.

So i left.

Well, no–

I tried to kill myself first (or did)

Whatever

Then I left.

No, actually i tried to stay and split custody down the middle so nobody would have to pay child support.

It wouldn't be fair to either of us, right, but:

So here I am trying to explain how

Yo, look.

I left my shit in a locked parked car in a parking lot

To push out a 5 minute shit

And when I got back

Everything was gone.

hm.

oh , you know what?

No, the car was still there.

The car was still there. Yeah.

That's good.

Yeah, I was real lucky for that,

cause

I lived in it.

hm .

Lucky for me.

AH, shit. It was a rental, though, so I still owe someone a lot of money

Interesting

For getting ROBBED.

So, here's the thing This:

BEING A DISGUSTING, OBNOXIOUS, LOUD, COUGHING, DRINKING, SMOKING, PIECE OF

Oh, that's what it is. It's my ex's energy.

That.

Doing the LEAST.

Doesn't even know what clean IS

so fucking fat he'll never see his penis EVER again

and anybody else who does

honestly

it's cool,

I just feel bad for her, honestly,

like ?

*gross pedophile wifebeater*

You can't just go around calling people pedophiles!

You can when everything they're obsessively sexually attracted to what looks like a kid

or sometimes IS a kid without him realizing that

Or

is when they're openly watching porn and masturbating

With a toddler.

Yes. that actually happened.

No, it didn't.

I saw you.

Well ,nobody will ever believe me, I guess because–

Because the first time he hit me,
I covered for him

But only I begged him to stay with US

THREE OF US

a two year old, a one month old

And me

the wife that was so paralized from depression

After learning that her husband

The only man she ever truly “loved”

had cheated

The.

entire .

time

So not only did I waste my time–

My body is ruined, and

I'MJUSTGOINGTOKILLMYSELF.

–not the thing you want to hear as you're trying to stop the blood from pouring out of your face.

My

whatever . fuck this story.

What why?

Cause it SUCKS.

PLUS

I'm apparently

“Very very bright”

Hm

And we're at the midsts of an

Environmental Crisis

*Multiple **Environmental*Crises

Just at the tip

Of another manipulated global disaster

Which has left most the population

Lazy and docile enough to not care

About anything

Anymore

I care about my son.

I don't care about your stuff;

And I didn't take anything from you

You gross, dirty, coughing ass, stinking pussy ass

Grotesque

Fuck it.

I just

don't

care

I have all my own shit.

Honestly,

I was just sick of beng reminded of this dumb sack of shit.

It wasn't real.

They were all actors

gangstalkers

undercovers

CIA agents

Welfare Office Workers

What?

Hey, look, just so you're aware

Being in the system actually technically on paper strips you of some of your basic human rights and decencies.

You are State Property.

Bought and Sold for the benefit of

The Highest bidder,

Who,

Never you mind,

Is of the highest power

In this predicament

H O W E V E R

I had finally been given an out;

An apartment, far away from the

Check it out,

I was being studied, provoked, recorded, questioned about a past I was only trying to forget and gulted over and over as if i had abandoned my child on purpose

No, son.

Daddy just has issues

And mommy has issues

And I'm really really sorry about this

But you're the most beautiful,

Wonderful,

Amazing

Person I've ever met in my life,

Bear(r)

And I'm proud to be your

FATHER.

huh . what. I'm a girl.

No. You're not; He's the girl.

Bitch ass babymomma .

Fuck it, just go be with ___ then.

Oh, amazing I love this one.

I never cheated

I just retreated

So I could repeat this:

“he cheated! He cheated”

“he beat me, he beat me”

“I hate him, I hate him”

My best friend was Annie

My Lover was Davies

–doesn't matter these days, though

same place

Salt Lake Saltair

It's been years.

You know how,

When you're a kid,

And you

[Get scraped]

Oh shit, I missed a –

A lot.

hm .

You ever have another kid pick your scab off for you–

Wayyyyy before it was ready?

YOu ever like–

You get it??

Yo, i get this is like government, public housing or whatever

IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN

Why does she have to be “ignorant” can't she just be

NO

Because she was

Extremely ignorant, this particular one,

and so are most of the other ignorant black people who work in social services because white people

a . wouldn't do it.

b . aren't equipped

Because the kind of black people you meet in a new york city homeless shelter are

—no , i'm not actually THAT racist—

just the

lowest quality people

[LCD]

Lowest Common Denomonator

She stole my ID.

Fucku.

So i'm a low quality people.

Yep. You suck.

Ok. I'm gonna go suck at Equinox for six hours.

Go, then.

Don't follow me.

But

We're watching you.

Someone's always watching me.

I'm famous,

But not rich

And every time i make any money my ex husband gets to buy drugs and ciggarettes with it.

CHILD SUPPORT

Before:

Literally doesn't answer phone for months.

Me: Thinking my child is dead because i can't get ahold of him, it's always winter in alaska and the roads are made of ice. Panic, fear, paralyzing depression

And when I finally DO get in touch;

It's because:

ACTUAL BEST FRIEND

I haen't heard from ***** at all but a little while ago some girl called me and was yelling at me accusing of cheating with him.

ME

AHAHAH

ACTUAL BEST FRIEND

AHAHAHA

US

LOL SKRILLE

wait , this is a different story

NO, it really fucking ISN'T.

SO

All my wages are garnshed to pay child support

I can't even TALK to my kid

and

Oh yeah.

I was only ever homeless in the first place because

This is where it happened:

BITCH

*throws fake house plant*

*RAGE*

RURNJRNH

*PUNCH to the FACE 1

This cannot be happening

*PUNCH TO THE FACE 2*

Wow, that really sounds like in the mov–

*PUNCH TO THE FACE 3*

HE'S NOT STOPPING, I GOTTA

*literally can't go anywhere, also being strangled*

so somewhere between punches 3 and 5

*FIVE PUNCHES TO THE FACE*

And I mean, he was winding his arm back and everything

Oh, it was weird how like my third roommate gave me almost the exact same injuries fighting over the thermostat.

I'm cold.

I'm hot

Well, yeah, you're from Peru and I'm from

LA

Alaska, so

I ean technically really neither of us are built for this but hey–

America needs corporate slaves so,

Welcome.

Yo soy triste.

Ay! Dios Mios. Ahora YO soy triste!

*crying*

Dios Mio

Anyway, they know you're like some kind of like–

Wizard, or like–

Wizardry's alright–

—Like a fairy–

I'm way, way bigger than any “fairies” i've seen

(and more powerful)

Some kind of like a

KEISHA THE ROADCOP

Why's she a road cop?

Idk. My brain backwards remembers her from that random McDonalds, though, when.

WAY, WAY BEFORE THAT:

(kinda)

This hasn't happened in a really long time

Staying up all night in ableton,

Then only for the day to come

To write and think about how

I've been fasting again,

but not on purpose

I've just been so stressed

Because all the bodies in my simulation are

inhuman , coughing

Keigha seemed human

Kinda

I loved her.

I love her.

I actually liked that one.

By that time it was obvious that it was all an inside job;

Each “roomate” i had been paired with had been given a specific list of buttons to push,

Things to talk about

Topics to discuss

But mostly–

Buttons to push.

Look, if I commit suicide and anyone cares at all,

there are thousands of recordings

and writings

Which indicate

“she struggled greatly with mental illness'

Or how about

I suffer greatly from

My 3rd grade teacher was a classic closet racist.

I'm eight.

She's a huge, unmarried mormon white lady

And that's super unommon

(Even for the fat ones)

Fat people can have normal lives!!

Not really. That's a lie.

BODY POSITIVITY

no , you should be ashamed.

why .

Because ive literally been tormented my

ooh , also this

I've been tortured, taunted, and humiliated my entire life,

Made to feel lesser than,

And shamed repeatedly for not only my weight,

But my skin color– and that's a whole other thing.

NO.

Having a disability and being black are not the same thing.

NO.

It's not the same thing to “skinny shame” someone as it is to

=====

Look, you're looking for equality, right?

NO.

Why?

Because ME is not equal to HER.

Why not.

I surfer more–

–I work harder.

Oh, look, by the way,

I've finally figured it out that

YOU LIVE IN THE JUNGLE

WHAT'S A JUNGLE?!?!?!

YOU'RE FAT.

WHAT'S WHAT MEAN?!

IT'S BAAAAD. But here, eat this:

What is it:

It's hamburger helper

What's this gonna help?

Nothin.

THIRD GRADE TEACH

She's a very bright girl, she jut has trouble focusing.

BULLY

*passing note*

“Losser”

SHE SPELLED ‘LOSER' WRONG.

HOW AM I THE LOSER?

SHE'S NOT EVEN SMART.

*white passing, bilingual 8 year old*

[Some spanish shit, honestly i don't know what she said because it blew my mind that she did not look, and yet was

MEXICAN.

FIrst season:

Well, since even when I work full time and have two jobs I still can't afford an apartment, even if I DIDN'T have an eviction on my record,

oh .

Well, yeah;

I got fired from my job

I couldn't function.

Like, at all

I could still breastfeed, kind of

*ouch*

But that's it.

I just couldn't…

BENTLEY is a yorkshire terrier

*teacup

BENTLEY *is a Teacup Yorkshire Terrier

What about this other thing?

Which other thing?

Oh,

I mean, I'm not racist;

I don't care what color you are

Or where you come from

But act decently

-NOBODY wants to hear your phone conversations

NOBODY wants to wake up to the sund of your voice every day

(especially after the things you've said and done to them)

And

NOBODY

Wants to pick up your trash.

In fact,

If that were my job,

I'd have killed myself already bcause

Well. This Fucking Sucks. I quit.

YOU'RE THE DEVIL.
YOU LEFT YOUR FAMILY TO TRY TO BE A ROCKSTAR.

Actually, my family abandoned me and left me homeless when I started

Eating an all-organic (at first, raw foods) whole foods diet.

wtf.

This is salad, no dressing.

Yep.

For like–

Seriously my diet has been the most depressing thing about me ever since i've been maintaining my body.

See. You can quit heroin.

You don't NEED it to survive,

Unless you're Scribbly Pibbles

Aka

You know what? It's not funny anymore

Nevermind.

When your friends go out for ice cream

Ha

Or Pizza

Lol

Lets Get McDonalds.

OK, I guess i'll just starve, then.

I guess we could insert the scene with Raven Symone here then?

Which one?

Idk.

WHere is it.

Idk.

IT's buries. *buried

[buries]

Mm. Yummah.

WE'll find it.

I don't think we're gonna find it

Maybe Sonny has it.

Damn, fuck that

Or maybe Dillon?

[Dillon Francis is a very white man]

No, but–

I don't think it's safe to put any Disney or NBC shit in here cause it's like, you know

YOu know what?

[Censored]

Hey, yeah

I don't give a fuck about your shit

Like at all

But since you want a war

And i've been brushing up on all my

Office politics and

strategies

Then I guess since

*ONE ATTACK ON MY SOUL*

stop provoking me, satan

Do you think he actually controls demons,

or it's just the government is controlled by the white supremacists

And you're being set up to fail

A little of both,

It's like a roller coaster

Minus the plummet

Explosions

Co–

Look, I actually can't write right now,

I snapped.

What do you mean

I just snapped.

I can't sleep

I also just quit smoking weed. again

Well, why'd you start

Literally everyone around me for the last

Who fucking knows how long but–

Every single body around me starts

*coughing*

So maybe i must be the

toxin

This whole world just smells like poison

Why are you trying to sterilize me.

JOIN THE MILIT

NO. No guns.

What.

PEACE.

Beg your pardon.

NO, NOW i'M BEGGING,

ALL I REALLY WANT IS TO BE LEFT ALONE

It's me again

Get away from me you creepy ass nigga

hey , it's me again

stop being around.

Out of sight, out of mind.

You know, I was almost, almost

dead

Right

So after being tortured by the US government about being SUPACREE

Bruh, I'm telling you to quit provoking me.

You're everything that's wrong with the world.

Apparently, yeah

so i tried to change that

And by the time i do

I'm obsolete

TYLA, EVERYBODY!

The me that everyone loved.

The me that was perfect

The me with

Whatever she had to make her look like that

(Water, btw. )

No, we don't have water. You'll have to drink it out of the sink.

What.

*dirty, disgusting homeless shelter bathroom sink*

yeah , drink that.

IGNORANT BLACK WOMAN

AND DON'T FORGET

I'M BETTER THAN YOU

CAUSE I'M NOT HOMELESS

(Anymore)

Because the homeless system in itself is like a

big , bleeding, gaping wound of

systemic racism

Within itself

WHY ARE WE GIVING NON-CITIZENS SO MUCH MONEY?!

It goes back into OUR econ

NO, iT DON'T.

Half of it goes to

INT. THE NIKE STORE. DAY.

What up DJ!?

I fucking quit.

Trying to get a job as a DJ:

WHERE'S YOUR FOLLOWING.

They're not gonna follow me,

Because I wear clothes in my photos

And don't sell ass

YOU DON'T SELL ASS

no

I'd consider it.

Why?

Cause little white girls make more than black girls in porn because we're so

UGLY

Ok, look, just because i called you “ugly”

Only the fat ugly ones like me when i'm fat.

Ugly doesn't negate lack of beauty

Or skin tone,

To me

It's a vibe.

Woah.

Cool colors.

Woah.

What happened to Skrillex?

He died, i think, er like

Evolved, or something

Another Grammy

*instantly disappears into a dimension so high I could never even think to*

It's lonely at the top.

I'm not lonely, i'm sick of being punished for being born.

You're not being punished! That's in your MIND!

PATHOLOGICAL LIAR MOTHER/

PEDOPHILE WIFE BEATER EX HUSBAND

THATSALL IN YOUR MIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNDDDDD

BEFORE:

Torture–

–Ridicule–

-Trauma–

Abuse

NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS.

YOu know why?

CAuse they have the same problems.

We're all the same person except for

Skrillex, The US Government,

A couple of aliens

Whatever those to things are
Those guys over these

Wtf. I thought everything is everything.

NO, it's needs to split.

What do you mean

EVERYTHING IS

NOTHING

Oh.

There's Jimmy Fallon.

FUCK! Now I gotta exp

no , i don't.

I'm just gonna make music

which ,

Doesn't really make me enough money

But it's okay.

I'm sick of working for corporations that only see dollar signs

My employee number is my name

My coworkers are all weird, and dumb

and I work harder than everybody else

But for some reason when I match the pace of my peers

You have to go with the flow of traffic.

NEW YORK CATTLE PEOPLE

INSOMNIAC CATTLE PEOPLE

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT.

NOTHING ON YOUR PLATE HAS EVER SEEN SUNLIGHT.

That's ok.

I'm an omnivore

No, it's not,

Because

The animal you're eating is a herbivore

He

or

“it “

You gotta castrate them

but he

NOT FOOD FOOD COW

Mo..00oo?

..

yeah , i don't know.

Well, what about you

SKELOCHICKEN

*FLl**dies*

hm.

CHINA

MORE HORMONES TO POI–

I MEAN

NUTRITION YOUR PEOPLE?

AMERICA

YES, PLEASE ADD MORE DEPRESSION.

CHINA

Ok.

AMERICA

THANKS

CHINA

Also we're infiltrating with the humanoid robot genetically modified satellite controlled robot people.

AMERICA

You can do that?

STOP ASIAN HATE.

*cough*

*robotic*

*nothin*

I don't hate you guys,but this is weird and kinda shocking.

Wtf are they doing with the asians

STOP ASIAN –

Nobody hates you, we just ant to know why

*HOSTILITY*

ok , this is weird.

CHINA

Hey, we've been on this continent awhile it's getting kind of crowded.

AMERICA

*hating all the colors but needing diversity to keep the corporate slaves from rioting*

lol . they won't riot. they're all drunk or medicated

IT'S OK TO NOT BE OK

…really?

Yeah.

Wow. ok. I feel a lot

That'll be $88.50

*sighs* ….ok.

*pays*

…per pill.

That's my whole–

It's okay!

It's not okay…

Well, that's okay, because it's okay to not be okay

*huffs*

Ok

IT'S OKAY! IT'S OK! INSURANCE!

It's ONLY a $100 copay!

What.

EVERY 30 DAYS. $100

Cause we need you to not be okay

Why

RICH ASSHOLE

So i can be extremely ok.

[beat[

….

*sighs*

*finds a penny*

I'll take that too.

*....*

what ?

I tried..

Alright, I gotta tie this up.

TIE THIS UP!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!

I put all your shit in the trash.

Tie me up.

Okay, I like you

But I lie good

And i'm tired

With my eyes on

I got IONS on my filers

I got no mail

For the iron

I'm so tired

But man,

I've learned that

Sometimes, man

Well,

Just–

Live hurts

and if I swerve

And i die first

Cause this mind curse

Is my worst hurt

but ,

no

That's untrue

I got no son

I got no phone.

Got no baby momma, but my

Fire's lighting up an oven

For my bun, or muffin

I'm bluffin,

I'm stuffed but

God, I love these cumsluts.

[( Jimmy Fallon cannot participate in this project. )]

Well, why not?

Honestly, hon,

If i'm the mom in that one

Stumble upon this podcast on

stumble upon or tumblr,

Then i'm numb,

Bummed out for certain

the songs and curses,

verses make more sense than

anything

(and i mean anything and everything

Inside this simulation since

HILARY!

NO, DONALD TRUMP.

–but the conundrum comin up under

A microscope such as this:

My husband's a public figure

And this girl keeps saying *nigger*

Like the problems in the world aren't getting bigger

–so this ring around my finger,

Shall protect us from this singer,

God help her–

I hope my son never reads this…

But Jim,

The Executive Decision has been made!

She's insane! Crazy!

Abandoned her own baby for fame;

adjacently;

The Fame Game was made to be played by

Players and families

[The Wealthy and Super Elite]

Oh, you're not ugly cause you're black, just–

*splits*

*scratches humungous crotchel*

Uh…

Yeah, Ok. No.

So is this like a PSA on mental illness?

Idk. did i survive this?

Suicide.

God, why do i

Did I write this?

I might have

Something like it

But i died again

I've been inside my mind,

I lied again

I have no one to confide to cause

Okay: So every one with blue eyes has given me this sort of pain, specifically

* racism *

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

* deception

*manipulation

*dishonestly

*mistrust

I'm 8,

My third grade teacher is just

WAITING for me to fuck up

Speak out of turn

One time, she gave a soda to every person on my row

Everyone but me

Didn't explain it,

nothing.

Just

“This row wins!”

(Except for Cree)

And didn't say shit; didn't explain anything, just.

–and we're all 8,

so

lol nobody's saying shit in here but apparently that mental scar stayed buried until today,

While i'm just sitting here trying to explain why,

Something i've always found so pretty

I don't hate white women.

All of my best friends (almost)

Have been white girls

Which is how I know

*she doesn't know what she wants*

blue eyed people are aware that their eyes are a mutation/adaptation specifically meant to aide in survival by reflecting light.

I … ok, go on.

So it's not like, they're evil for it

White supremacy getting ahead entirely, so much so that the reigning world power has lost touch with reality so much that it's 8 billion inhabitants are literally dying inside out of anxiety

because we've built a dystopian society where it makes more sense to poison yourself repeatedly than to actually be a human and evolve

–Evolution is a group effort.

So yeah,

S

Fuck it

The celebrities are up here in sodom and gamora or whatever and half of the politicians are in there with them, but the truth is that while the rest of us fight over something that's technically only been programmed to exist

(there's enough food in the world, guys.)

–MAYBE NOT ENOUGH WATER THOUGH.

SUPACREE

That's why you're trying to make me CRY?

They're psychic tears!

BUT WHERE DO THE TEARS COMEFROM.

HEAVEN.

Literally.

Nowhere you can see or ever reach because

DEMONS AREN'T REAL. YOU'RE CRAZY.

Wtfever I was raised in the united states of america where GOD is implicated on all of our currency as if it's no curse of blasphemy within itself– blasphemy which WE made up just to control people because

well , apparently all the people

–all the people–

the big ones, the little ones,

The fat one e the short ones, the girls and the boys

–are still going to keep making more peopl e

Somethings will never change.

Boys will be boys.

My ex husband may not actually be satan himself;

You know, cause satan can't stay in one place

SATAN ISN'T REAL

Ok.

Are we seriously going to sit here and pretend like nobody has ever read a history book in their life

YES

EVIL EXISTS.

IT ALWAYS HAS.

It's not in your head!

You're not okay!

You were brought here,

Amost entirely with the purpose

Of servitude

(most of us)

Living beneath some of those who have

never known

The pain of poverty

the grief of homelessness

The cruelty of racism

REVERSE RACISM IS REAL.

OH REAALLY?????!!

NIGGER.

CRACKER.

Which one do you want to eat?

Neither, honestly, I'd just-

Oh my God, he's up!

Like a glass of

Oh My God! My God! He's Alive!

TYLA

I got it!

JIMMY FALLON

Water.

Wtf is Jimmy Fallon doing in a coma.

IDK cause who the fuck just beat the shit out of JImmy Falon?

I'm assuming it's not his

Could actually be–

Babymama.

hm .

…Unless it was.

Into a coma?!

“Why Women Kill”

Oh, I get it. They're trying to see if i' P m violent.

At this point

________LINES

____________________- BEING _______

___________CROSSSS

ok , i fuked skrilex.

I KNEW IT.

I TOLD YOU.

See, look this is not

It's not

Like, it doesn't have to be special or anything, i just–

Need it.

SKRILLEx/SONNY

…I beg your pardon?

SUPACREE

Please, don't beg…

SKRILLEX

*face*

SUPACREE

I mean–

SKRILLEX

*squints*

Unless you're into that, or something. I don't know!

“I don't know”

SKRILLEX

So wait, you're a fan.

[Apparently, or obviously, cause, I'm honestly getting this play by play, here, finishihg writing story in a stream of consciousness–]

(or unconsciousness)

Oh! That's MY coma! Nice!

Damn. Wtf.

[--like in real time–or, like,

was, before I got distracted thinking about

Shit, I got so much stuff I gotta do.

[INSERT CELEBRITY APPEARANCE HERE]

Well, perhaps this is one of them.

Holy shit, I'm acid.

What.

How did that happen so fast it's only been like

What?

Well, how long's it been?

I don't know, now well, where'd she go.

It's Over.

What?

It's gone.

Just let me go

ok .

Just let me go.

ok .

Just let me go.

What if I just JUMP UP

NO.

Don't do that.

The kit is stronger than you, Jimmathin.

“Jimmathin”!”

What, you wanted

KING JAMES

Fine, I'll write it.

What.

What is this.

This is just like

Woah

[Art]

Wow.

Yeah.

There's a lot.

A R T

JIMMY FALLON is a

Are we going this?

How else am i supposed to explain

“ I L L U M I N A T I

Look

I'm you.

ok .

You're me.

alright.

[Young Gods] Wrking title

Didn't they aready do this–

Or something like this?

Yes, but I wrote it first.

TV

Come and Get it!

RAP WORLD

UNH

YOu'RE A LOSER

UNH

IMA NIGGA SO WHAT

UHHHH

Shut up, drake

UNNNNHHH

I'm gonna call you up

UN

That's enough

OOOOHHHBIIIIRRRRRRRRRR

That's it. You're done.

WASTED.

YOU DON'T WANNA BLACK BOY

I GOT LOTS OF BLAC GIRLS

WHITE GIRLS

MOLLY, ROCK

WHITE GIRL,

WHITE GIRLS

CHINESE EYES

I LIKE HER

THIGHS

Sunni, shut up

In UNISON

Sep: I MADE IT!

EARLIER:

SEP, FROM UNISON

Gimmie a dollar.

….okay, but I only have one dollar.

Jimmy Fallon

ILLUMINATI

Please explain this.

JAMES FALLON is a simple man.

IS HIS NAME JAMES?!

I don't know, but who names their kid

JIMI

Oh, no, that's like,

Like you know,

JImi Hendrix

aww , i loved that baby…

I love babies.

I love her.

aw . this is

WRAP IT UP

This is a lot of stories, okay, but mainly how somehow I got

T R A U M A (D)

Whait, where's Dillon Francis?!

Who the fuck cares.

Wake up.

For waht.

I gotta get waisted.

You mean *wasted*

Shut up.

Wait so like, DIllon and CC are like

Together?

DJ*

Oyeah. DJ. DJ the DJ

[DJ the DJ]

[BJ the DJ]

ok , that was also, like, first season

YOu're right, Justin, this is getting Meta.

I'm not Hustin, I'm Rick.

What.

I'm Rick.

No, no you're

RICK SANCHEZ

IT'S ME. i'M BACK. i”M THE REAL RICK SANCHEZ.

well la-teee–

UNITY

You forgot about me, didnt you?

UNITY!?

That's why everyone is assimilated.

Damn, you're really good a dissociating?

Would you rather I not be?

CUT BACK TO:

Homeless shelter: The Reject Pile, The literally runoff of the

World.

Right.

The broken, forgotten women that.

Woah, her whole face was FUCKED UP.

She went back to him

NOOOOO

(but like, that was me)

Whatever. If you don't have kids, run!

Fuck it, if you have kids, run

just run at night and do it

Quickly

Just get out.

Quietly

Shhh.

Wait, isn't it just as bad the other way around?

What? Huh *still fucked up*

You're high right now?

No, i”m not high

I mean

I Am

I mean, I wanna get FUCKED UP.

What are you saying?

What i'm saying is;

I would get high on anything else but life right now

why

Cause i wanna die

so die

i can't

why

otta solve this

what .

Why i can't die.

You WHAT?!

I CAN'T DIE!

US GOVT

It's true! We tried like three times already.

This can never lead back to us

Did they give you a script!?

Brings up random story from childhood even i forgot about.

So you want me to drink water out of this

*basically a toilet*

Actually, the toilet might have been cleaner if she wasn't such a

WHORE.

What.

She was a whore.

I kind of figured.

Why?

By the way the toilet smelled when she used it

*sniffs* ok. This is everybody.

This is a lot of everybody.

This is everybody,

But then everybody left,

Then more people came

And everybody came back.

This is everybody.

This is too many

*blacks*

WHAT?!

Look, like i said, it's not racism that diversity is getting more important than just hiring 7 white people and 1 or two of the rest of us for coloration and entertainment

Cause even god knows

Sadistic white supremacists love watching

Everybody else kill each other over

Things they already have.

WHITE SUPRMACISTS

Oh shit, it's the guys from Equinox.

(it is, in fact, those guys)

Wait. did i never finish my story about

so what was the whole thing about

BODY SHAMING IS WRONG.

Bruh whatever the whole earth is a body and what “our”*coughs* species has done to it is pretty much the most shameful thing literally ever because we're mostly all racists kind of in one way or another or have judgements and intolerances – but

*coughs*

What?

Why are we treating Anxiety as a mental illsness?

Cause it's in your head?

SYNETHESIA

No, this shit it

*Skrill

Fuck it

P H Y s I cAAlLLLLLLLLLL

Whats wrong with him

I don't kno w

please eat, would you.

lol . no.

How long is this fast

[LOUD MOTORCYCLE/SATAN]

*stomach blowing bubbles of acid before its even audible in my ears*

ow .

*coughs*

ok , ow.

*coughing*

Ok, ow.

What if, that gross,

Scary, evil coughing thing that's following me is just

JIMMY FALLON.

STOP FOLLOWING ME.

YOU FOLLOWED ME HERE.

PLEASE, OH GOD, OH MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN.

What? God's not in heaven right now!!!

SHE'S NOT?! WELL, WHERE IS SHE?

GONE.

GONE WHERE , GOD CAN'T be GONE. GOD IS GOD.

MARK

LUKE

JOhN

PETER

….ok, this is getting strange.

KING JAMES

Finally, Jesus.

Well, when does Jesus get here, then.

Later.

LATER:

Can I go now?

No

What did you say was the

Do you even read what you post sometimes?

No, I mostly just write it then forget it exists

What, really?

Yes. So by the time you're reading this.

It may have been years.

Oh shit, this show's still on.

Yeah.

That's fucking nuts.

Yeah.

This shit gets craaaaazzy.

my fans

Yo dude, I had one roommate that might have been

whatever, you had to have heard my podcast if you know anything about

[PASSWORD]

You want me to kill myself?

*indifference*

WHAT DO YOU WANT

…

…..

……

Why?

Why WHAT?

Why are YOU not fuckked up on that couch somewhere, or like, dead?!

Technically, I am!

What?

This is a homeless shelter!

Yes, obviously, however:

Go on.

Everyone here is sad.

Correct.

Everyone here is broken.

Yes.

Everyone here has been hurt–

probably

Beaten–

Yes,

Some of us

Reviled.

YO.

Thisfuckedup.

I gotta get out of here.

Damn, so like, you pay child support and everything–

But you don't even get to see your kid?

And when you do it's on his terms,

Because of nepotism

And the assumption that

as the bi-racial half of a bi-racial relationship,

It must have been you that fucked up

So much so

That you deserve that

And no matter what you do is wrong

How was I wrong?!

Your pussy stinks.

That's it?

Yep.

You have mental problems.

But my pussy clean. *shrugs*

Anyway.

Maybe I should be meditating

I am META - TATING.

Duh.

INDIGEIDIOTS

AHAHAHA . GOOD ONE.

SHAQ

AHAH

Not right ow dude.

SHAQ

Why not me?!

Because, dude, we have like one scene together, and i'm terrified of you.

SHAQ

I am picking you up now.

no , no, shaquille o'neal

yes , actually–

wait , what's your name again

S U P A C R E E

n..o…

YES. THERE SHE IS

WHERE IS SKRILEX

SHAQ

UP.

Why does he sound so dumb?

Cause he's BIG.

So that means he' dumb?

NO, but I also can't afford another celebrity appearance unless,

Pasqualle

PASQUALE ON THE BEACH

Why is it–

BECAUSE

[PASQUALE ROTELLA is on the beach.]

PASQUALE

No.

AWW, COME ON.

PASQUALLE

NO, SUPA U

Who is that? !

PASQUALE

SHUT UP.

Woah, okay, ouch.

PASQUALE

You just said ***** 147 times.

NO.

but

NO. U.

What

BE

U.

(lmfao why does he have that like mirror thing white people in the

When is this

Forever

Lmfao you're trying to fry yourself a sunburn tan with a giant mirror.

BLUE EYED MOTHERFUCKER

No, i'm *** staring in mirror intently***

Wow, your eyes are really pretty

MEANWHILE

[DILLON FRANCIS is about to DIE.]

oh, you again.

ohFUCK.

[But his eys are really pretty]

*glamour*

Damn.

Wow.

She has a baby!

wait , WHAT.

CUT TO:

Wait, Dillon Francis is having a baby?!

YES.

WHEN?!

[NOW)

WHENEVER.

DAMN.

[BEAT]

WIBEATER

You rang?

NO.

Hahahahaha42055555555555fucku.

Whatthefuckishappeningritenow.

I GOTTA GO.

JUST BEAT IT, MICHAEL JACKSON.

The silhouette of SUPACREE bedazzles as she dances

C'ESME'T

KATEY SAGAL

Are we back to me yet?

In a minute.

Broh you have all these rich people mad deep in their feelings.

I guess.

(I am their feelings)

It would be great if they were mad deep in their pockets for [The Festival Project™]

Why.

Excuse me.

Why would anybody do that,

When for the last

[However]

15 Minutes

RANDOM NON COINCIDENCE

Your 15 minutes is up.

That's impossible, because I'm living in a homeless shelter.

Which is where you deserve to be.

Huh.

For being born.

Excuse me?

Everything you've ever done.

*breath, walk talk*

Is wrong

(I Am.)

HOLD ON JIMMY, DON'T LET GO

I might let go.

DON'T.

Lol

This kite just might be stronger than you, Jimmy Fallon.

I hate this guy.

What is he?! Japanese!

(Ive often wondered, not worth knowing, though, cause what's about to happen is)

T H E W I N D

IIIIIII

Please don't cry

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

plase dont

Nono

Nnnnnnssssssnsnsnsnsnsnfnffn

V.O.

Poor Little Jimmy Fallon…

W I N DS

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUDNDNDFFFFFFFF

I AM DEFINITELY STRONGER THAN THIS KITE.

No. no, you are not

Wouldn't it be it's “the wind” “the wind is stronger than me”

No, Jimmy Fallon

James

Shut up–

It's the KITE

DIRECTOR

That's the line! Got it?

And if you break fourth wall,

When we're live, or just– ever again,

WHAT. could be jimmy fal0n sure.

Namesake police talkin bout:

If we can put ot AI Michael Jackson,

God rest his soul, which reminds me,

After this scene, put the one with

[The Soul Kitchen]

I'M A MAN!

T H E W I N D

AAAAAAAAAAA–

*sniffles*

oh , maybe not.

hm.

JIMMY FALLON

*sigh of–

T H E W I N D

SSFFFLLAAAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

KITE: BLOOP.

x_x

DEATH.

NO SHAQ! Put me down!

SHAQ

You can DOWN when the BASS is ALSO THERE.

SUPACREE

No, you don't mean–

SHAQ

We WILL drop the bass.

SUPACREE

Put me down! I'm a grown ass woman!

SHAQ

*purses*

SUPACREE

I am NOT a tiny person.

SHAQ

I know: I'm married to one.

SUPACREE

I know, i know. the entire world cringes about it, however, congratulations on your happy

SHAQ

DUBSTEP.

SUPACREE

NO, NO DUBSTEP

SHAQ

DUBSTEP.b

SUPACREE

OH, GOD, NO, PLEASE

SHAQ

Maybe a little rap

SUPACREE

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Andy Sandbourg.

Uh, ok, wait, whose

THE LONELY ISLAND

WHEN WILL THE BASS DROP?!

(When will the bass drop?)

–When will the bass drop

OH. That's why that island is lonely.

YES.

DO. NOT.

UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES

Ok

DROP THIS BASS.

Ok.

I”ll be right back.

Ok.

[beat]

[another beat]

[some tension]

[space]

[more tension]

[The lights cut

CUT TO:

JANET JACKSON bursts through the panoramic window.

…

You are not Dillon Francis

FIGHT

Wait, fight w–

JANE JACKSON

Alright you!

HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?

lol ‘Jane Jackson?'

You know, just in case she didn't want to commit, but you know

Janet Jackson was one of the first ones to approach me to show interest about this project.

IT'S ALL FACETIOUS LIES.

(t's not tho, i'm bein 100% honest and truthful bout everything, so .)

LIE

what .

LEARN HOW TO LIE.

Excuse me?

or , hey, listen:

You can tell the truth, but at least be funny.

This is funny.

*homelessness*

*niggers*

STOP SAYING THAT.

Isn't it weird how the word almost only offends white people now cause

Cause we're all capitalists.

Capitalists.

People that believe in money.

Oh.

AS GOD.

oh .

YOu have none.

oh .

YOU are the devil

ugh GROSS. You'RE BROKE.

What.

GET OUT.

What

We don't need you here. We need people to hit the workforce, buy things, and never complain unless it end in

ME

MAKING

MONEY

Ok, fine, so like I just was saying.

JANET JACKSON

WHERE'S MY BROTHER?!

WHEVER HE IS! I DON'T KNOW!

[I'm getting really tired so i'm not going to describe in full brutal detail how Janet Jackson is whooping–

Who is this

Is whooping this other character's ass right now.

Wait, Whoopi.

Fuck. You saw it.

Yeah, You're Whoopi Goldberg!

WhattheFUCK.

But you're als Janet Jackson!

I Am.

WHY?!

Look, I didn't know you were a channel, alright

EARLIER:

CUT SCENES FROM A VERY BRUTAL BATTLE

SAY UNCLE

NNNNOOO____YuuuurrrrJANETJACKSON

SAY UNCLE

Control, Janet Jackson

Seriously?! You picked that song for this montage?!

it's!

SAYUNCLE

UNCLESAMWANTS–U–TO WIN

THIS FUCKING BATTLE—YAGH–

JANET JACKSON

SAY

UNCLE

JUNGLE

OH SHIT.

Hold up.

Okay, real quick.

Remember those people in the jungle that don't know their in a jungle

DANE COOK

WHATEVER, I'M NOT DONG THIS PROJECT.

IT'S TOO LATE, YOU'RE IN.

DANE COOK

OK.

But i'm gonna make you forget about it

For like a really long time

Ok

Until you forget who I am at all.

Alright.

Many, many lifetimes.

Go on.

Until I find you again.

And you WILL.

And i WILL. AND WHEN I DO

I AM NOT DOING THIS PROJECT

I am SO not-famous I have almost been

FORGOTTEN.

Forgotten at

FORGOTTEN AT ALL!

And I will not

AND YOU WILL NOT KNOW ME.

ok .

…ok.

So.

So….

kite.

kite.___________________________________________________FL|| IIII IIIII YYYYY AAA |||||||

UNCLE– UNCLE–UNCLE

JANET JACKSON

NOW SING ABC by THE JACKSON 5!

WHAT?!

SING IT.

UNCLE. UNCLE!!!

I WANNA HEAR A SONG.

Damn, Janet Jackson still got it.

WHOOPI GOLDBERG

What gave me away?

Your left hook.

Still got it.

I know.

Even in the wrong body, now look.

If I'm not Michael Jackson

Could never be

Neither could you

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

lol she's not gonna do this movie.

She might. she's friendly.

besides.

ABC…

KEEP GOING, BUT BETTER

EEEEASY AS 1-23…UNCLE!

THERE'S NO UNCLE IN ABC!

Do you think we're at a feature yet?

Notquite

Why, how oong's a feature?!

Till it isn't.

Right., so

Look, obese americans

I know its hard to face the facts–

Or anything at all, because, you know

“I'm going to start eating right–

….later”

and nobody's judging you at all, actually because.

That was me.

(Is still me)

When i'm eating

food , which was my

Adderall.

What.

You needed adderall. Youe entire life and never got it.

Yeah I know.

Because you're black.

Maybe that's not why.

What do you mean.

Maybe that's not why. Maybe when

Look, my mom wasn't going to take me to a doctor for focus issues,

I would cry and cry when my dad would leave.

It's probably for the best that I stay away,

I'm a psycho now.

I might killl you.

I would like that because I just can't seem to.

CAPITALIZE. CAPITALIZE OFF THIS PROJECT!

HOW?

SELL YOUR ASS.

WHAT? No that's

(Only Fans)

What.

Look, you can't just BE a DJ: You can, but you're gonna need like, 3 other jobs, and some hustles and shit, cause everybody else.

How come.

Because, dumbass , you're not Skrillex;

Or whoever he sits with.

[TINA FEY Is a whatever. ]

What does this mean

I don't know.

By the way, nothing's making me “do this”

It's called “automatic writing”, it's some kind of extraterrestrial psychic shit,

I don't know.

My pain unlocked all my colors, and well.

KITE.

____________________________________________________________________KE$HA

Now I'm God.

Wait, How long's a feature?

OOOOOOIOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH, WE'RE HALFWAY THERE.

OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH

30 ROCKEFELLER PLAZA, MANHATTAN, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK.

So dumb the state has the same name as the city

I kno

So dumb

Bro could you imagine being like a comedian or like an actor during the like

“The Good Old Days”

I swear I'm about to stop

Don't stop.

SAY, IS THAT A

wait , i think i feel a song coming on

Oh yeah, i hear it…

Something like

Fuck

How to tell an obstacle

From a crossword,

Or draw slung crosses on awkward

Wax polished

silver scratched ponds

On the surface or

Then it all starts picking up

When i turn on my pic or sing,

I turn to write and this

Motorcycle wants to eat me from the inside out

Cause the man who rides it

Got nothing on to watch on his instagram stories

No only fans models

Just hot soft porn

And he's so far from a microphone

–but far at all

Cause i started to talk, then

The car alarms going off

all i got a words, really

The music is gone

A couple albums coming,

The old stuff I made on my long journey

being homeless

with no son

Long sauna jaunts

(and I mean)

Sometimes from Sunday to Monday

And monday would have come and then gone,

Before I could come home

Cause there wasn't one

Only a sauna, at my job
Well, one of them

The other's across town and,

I might just make it in time

(i won't though)

I spent my first check on a bike

(my mom lives across town, but she don't even know i'm

Homeless;

Nevermind,

She knows this,

She's just

Preoccupied with

THE BLACKEST THING i'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.

That's a person, not a thing.

No, you made yourself a thing

THEY. made you a thing. To THEM. but when they walk away–

I'm a man.

–The world's yours.

You are not my kid.

I get that.

It's the prettiest day New York City has Ever seen

Oh shit, this is fucking IT.

This is theMOVIE.

DILLON FRANCIS

GOOD. CAUSE I'VE. HAD IT.

ST. JIMMY

Oh, shit.

I better run.

Wait, Greenday is in this?!

Everybody's in this

IAMBIC!!!!

(it's a rock opera)

Yeah God.

Speaking of THE ROCK

DWAYNE JOHNSON

YOOOOOOOOO.

Wtf.

Whatthefuck.

WHY YES, I AM A WHAT THE FCK.

CUT TO BLACK:

[The Festival Project ™]

{Enter The Multiverse}

[The Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT, INC. circa 2018- 2024 | ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

-Ū.

“”

AFTER DA CREDITZ

LOL WHAT CREDITS,

I'm streaming this

EDITORS

OH YOU WILL SEE THESE CREDITS.

these are insanely creative credits.

TINA FEY

(But way less cute)

What color is that,

What is what

Your hair now

Is it like

MELISSA MCCARTHY

clover….

“It's Honeydew Blondi

What

“Honeydew Blondike”

*blonde-like, but

Holly. Which one?!

Honeydew Blondish.

Well it's weird.

You're fucking weird.

Wait have you ever actually met Tina Fey

*unruly, wild shit*

Oh yeah, that bitch is crazy.

LIZ!!!

GET BACK HERE.

Uh.

HOLLY ROBINSON PETE

No, officer Hanson

Detective

You were demoted.

I wasn't demoted.

You know what.

I was SHOT,

CAPTAIN HOFFS is being haunted by her best friend's from back in the day; they are ghosts. She is the last surviving

CAST MEMBER

Look, what character am I supposed to be.

lol WHATEVER YOU WANT

what would you call this?

Your “sexy” passenger?

No, Dexter…

Or, is it

MICHAEL C. HALL

I don't know. I think that's for you to decide

No, dude, the whole point of the festival project is sometimes—

It doesn't

…

Zzz

Wait, what happened.

skrillex left the chat.

Hm. I wonder where he went.

THE B- SIDE

FINALLy, the BEYONCÉ PART

HAVENT YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION?

THE WHOLE THING IS

“THE BEYONCÉ PART”

Because

GOD

BEEEEEYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

*Beyonce, being Skrillex*

[expletive]

Ohhhhhhhh, that's how she got the accent over theeeeeeeeeeeeee

—————eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeé

matter.

Once we have been decended, and innosense is ost; Far outside of the indgom of Scencia at Heaven's Gates, To infinity and beyond, we will all forget one another…

PREVIOUSLY, on…

Wait, what is this?

Whatever it is.

“it Is

In his heyday, the cosmic avenger uses his priority status as a SNL series regular to put his newfound powers to work by successfully shapeshiftingnjnto each guest host's body during the live broadcast; thus creating infinite portals and wormholes through various dimension and cavalcades between space and time

Shit.

[The counter attack

Mover the counter attack

Over the hill and into your memory

Simple the end of the template

For temple, stuff from resentment

Impractical actually contracted

False flagged, black balled and gagged

Black box, canticles

Catnip for facts,

Obstacles,

Abstract acid fasts

Fantastic, fur tan lines

And so futuristic for fans

Scripted, this entry is

Limited, click bait resentments

Jesus is—

Fanstastic, actually

Magic tricks vs imagination

Instagram, leave it to the

—Festival Project.™]

COPYRIGHT © THE FESTIVAL PROJECT 2024

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. ©

-Ū.

THIS IS A WHATTHEFUCK.

WTF.

And this —

[Tina Fey, but cuter]

TINA FEY

(actual)

What does that mean??

is a whatever.

*|*

[whatever.]

Ugh, this is gonna take forever-

Lights up on Washington Heights

Up at the break of day

I wake up

—and it must be a different day

Cause I'm above in the Bronx

It fuckin sucks

I got a lot to discuss

Hop on this bus

Down on my luck

In uptown

Los Angrle's time's up

I'm square now

You scared now?

Fire like

Smoky the bear now

Smoked salmon,

Damn I'm sweating my hair out

Scary out there, scout!

Order of the Phoenix

Is out of order now

So sort out the books

For storyboard albums

It's occult clsssic

Without all the

Bells and whistles

Silence a pistol

To spit thru your window

To split you

Sentimental

It's just a mental indiscretion

Judas escariot

Scary isn't it

Monsters and fairytale business

Many mouses

And Minnie ripperton

Sympathies, really

For mentioning

It's just

My attention

Is

Getting

Shorter

Than

These sentences

Or Skrillex is

Haha

The methods were devious?

Me?

Made enemy out of man

But is envious of

I genius indegenous intentions

With this sacraments

Exactly what it isn't:

Sacrificial

ASDyQA{D”O*asf'oaISHf'oasKhf'aosUfh'

omg . where's he from.

aDAHSIDUHASODIHSAO”DIJed;saigbd;asidhaosidjw;odis

I'm leaving now..

Aisudhasiudhaisudhiusa ***hawcks loogie, spits***

Ugh.

“I _ NY”

Avaurlia is the High Goddess of Wisdom and Truth Telling—in the lower-quadrants of the palace in which she presides, she awaits the arrival of the fabled traveler to which the entirety of the palace belongs—

EVA LONGORIA, an earthly counterpart, is an accomplished actress, producer, and philanthropist— she abruptly inserts herself into the world of the festival project, after a mysterious series of syncronocities leads her to obsessively explore the meanings behind the occurrences—after which, she is approached by a deeply insulated organization—also mysteriously, but which presents itself with somewhat familiarity, taking EVA quickly into a ceremonial indoctrination into the higher realms, which will allow the actress access to this multidimensionality, expanding the collective consciousness and allowing communitarian with all alternate selves, specifically the higher self, and travel within the realms and worlds within the various planes in which

MEANWHILE,

Ugh.

Farro.

…Your Majesty.

I need help.

Don't burden me with your woes.

I beg your pardon?

No, don't beg.

—and we're back!

Oh, come on; I don't even like Zoolander!

Come on! What's my name?

Zoolander!

No, my actual name—

ZOOLANDER.

—-

Zac Efron is the secret president of his own High School Musical fan club, subreddits, and subsequent subreddits.

What?! I'm allowed to like my own movies!

*creepy fangirl high school musical alter—

Ahem.

Not this much.

Don't check the—

ILLUMINA—

Fuck that

My phone makes calls with the

Cellular turned off now

How about that

Damn

You, too, shall soon all be forgotten.

*squinting drunkenly* I hate her now.

*sipping liquor* she is evil.

“My Imaginary Friend”

In his heyday, the cosmic avenger uses his priority status as a SNL series regular to put his newfound powers to work by successfully shapeshiftingnjnto each guest host's body during the live broadcast; thus creating infinite portals and wormholes through various dimension and cavalcades between space and time

Shit.

The counter attack

Mover the counter attack

Over the hill and into your memory

Simple the end of the template

For temple, stuff from resentment

Impractical actually contracted

False flagged, black balled and gagged

Black box, canticles

Catnip for facts,

Obstacles,

Abstract acid fasts

Fantastic, fur tan lines

And so futuristic for fans

Scripted, this entry is

Limited, click bait resentments

Jesus is—

Fanstastic, actually

Magic tricks vs imagination

Instagram, leave it to the

Oh My God. I love The Yeah Yeah Yeahs!

Yeah, uh, ok.

*..*

*panics*

0.0

*. *

oh …

*takes massive bong rip*

*almost ghosts it*

*nvm huge clouzdz*

…noooo.

hey.

sup.

Has anyone seen–

Whatsup?

[beat]

Has anybody seen, like, a cyclops.

THE CYCLOPS Dissappears after Jesse AKA SUBTRONICS

CUT TO: BEFORE

FUCK

WHAT WAS IT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

laughing out loud in infinite dimensions

HA–

Nvm

JIMMY FALLON

[explitive]

‘The Lolipop Guild”

This better be easier to get into than the writer's guild.

–or the actor's guild–

Or the Academy.

Why on EARTH would you want to be in The Academy?

Because, Uh, ARTS.

Oh yeah, huh

Besides ,it's on EARTh

I guess so

And, of course

NOMINATIONS:

S–

No.

You didn't even let me finish

NOMINATIONS IN TIS CATEGORY ARE

SK–

NO.

YOU DIDN'T

Lol swing vote.

….get it?

TIMMY

*Whippet*

hah–*dies.

MEANWHILE, at the infinite

SHould we help him

Haha

probably

YO, WHERE'S MY CYCLOPS AT?!

*literally blowing out clouds and fire *

FUUUUUUUUCK

A MYSTERIOUS INDIVIDUAL ASSUMED TO BE “THE NOTORIOUS SUPACREE” has dropped the humankind

most sought after and coveted treasure from the top of the entertainment capital of the world–

The Hollywood Sign?!

NO,

LIZ LEMON

IT'S THE ROCK! IT'S HeRE.

LET US GO

WE SHAL GOOOOOOOO

GOOOOSASHSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTSSSSSSSS

BIGGIE

LLOOK JUST LET ME RIDE WITCHALL, AIGHT?

Nah, man.

Wtf.

MEANWHILE

Uh

What happened.

I don't know.

[THE HELLAVATOR HAS STOPPED. ]

Oh shit, this is the part.

[AS it turns out, each time the bass is dropped, the amethyst disappears to an entirely separate dimension…]

WEll, that's ok.

HOw many times could that possibly happen, right?

This is the only possible way to combat overpopulation!

YOU CAN'T JUST BASS JUMP THE ENTIRE WORLD INTO A SEPERATE DIMENSION.

BEFORE:

THE CYCLOPS

| |

_

*shrugs*

hits bong

THE CYCLOPS

SUBTRONICS.

0 0

…

S

MEANWHILE, AT THE INFINITE RAVE [HELL'S SIDE]

CAN'T. STOP.

DANCING

AAAAAyayayaAAAAA

AAHAHAHHHH

WHEN WILL THE BASS DROP.

Right

WE GOT HER.

“IT”

Or like “the??”

WHATEVER.

SHE'S AT THE ROCK