Expedition Marriage with Chris & Jamie Bailey

Ep. 140: When the Past Shows Up Uninvited: Understanding Implicit Memory in Marriage


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Have you ever reacted to your spouse in a way that felt a little too big for the moment? Maybe something small set you off, or a simple disagreement left you feeling anxious, shut down, or angry—and you didn't know why.

Chances are, your implicit memory was doing the talking.

In this episode, we're diving into what implicit memory is, how it quietly shapes your responses, and how it can impact your marriage—especially when it goes unrecognized. But don't worry—we're also talking about how healing and understanding can take its place.

💡 In This Episode, You'll Learn:

  • What implicit memory is and why it matters in marriage
  • How your past (even the unspoken parts) shows up in your present relationship
  • Why your spouse's reactions may not be about you—and how to not take them personally
  • Biblical encouragement for healing and renewing your mind
  • Practical steps to move from triggered to transformed

🛠️ Helpful Tools:

  • Recognize your "emotional cues" and learn how to pause before reacting
  • Grow in compassion—for your spouse and yourself
  • Learn how to bring your past to the Lord and invite Him into your healing

📖 Scripture Encouragement:

  • Romans 12:2 – "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind…"
  • Psalm 139:23–24 – "Search me, God, and know my heart…"
  • 2 Corinthians 10:5 – "Take every thought captive…"

❤️ Episode CTA:

If something from your past is showing up uninvited in your marriage, it's not too late to understand it—and heal. You're not broken. You're human. And there is so much hope when we bring our whole selves, past included, to Jesus.

📝 Consider journaling or praying through this week:

"Lord, show me where I'm reacting from my past instead of responding with Your truth."

And if this episode blessed you, share it with a friend—or your spouse—and start the conversation together.

https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-140-when-the-past-shows-up-uninvited-understanding-implicit-memory-in-marriage

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