Expedition Marriage with Chris & Jamie Bailey

Ep. 147: Safe and Sound: How to Co-Regulate in Marriage and Become Each Other's Safe Place


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How to Co-Regulate in Marriage and Become Each Other's Safe Place

Ever feel like you and your spouse are constantly missing each other emotionally? In this episode, we're talking about the powerful (but often overlooked) practice of co-regulation—and how it can transform your marriage into a place of emotional safety, healing, and connection.

We'll explore what it means to not just regulate your own emotions but to be a calm, supportive presence for your spouse—and how this reflects the love and comfort of Christ in your marriage.

In this episode, we'll cover:

  • ✅ What co-regulation is (and how it's different from self-regulation)
  • 💔 How emotional disconnection and little "t" traumas show up in everyday marriage moments
  • 📖 The biblical foundation for becoming a safe place: Galatians 6:2, Proverbs 17:17, Ecclesiastes 4:9–10, Romans 12:10
  • 💡 Real-life examples of how co-regulation can show up in your marriage
  • 🛠 Practical steps to create emotional safety and healing—without needing to fix everything
  • ❤️ Why your tone, presence, and patience may be the most healing tools you have

💬 Quote from the Episode: "There's enough loss in the world—let's not contribute more of it in our homes."

🎯 Call to Action:

  1. Try to implement co-regulation into your marriage this week: a soft word, your presence, or a listening ear. Tune yourself into your spouse. Look for ways to show up for them. Be the soft place for them to land in this harsh world.
  2. Ask your spouse: "Do you feel emotionally safe with me?"—and truly listen.
  3. Share this episode with a friend or couple who could use some emotional connection and support.
  4. Visit expeditionmarriage.org for more tools, devotionals, and resources to build a safe and God-honoring marriage.

You don't have to heal alone—and you weren't designed to do marriage alone. Let's build homes of safety and healing—together.

https://expeditionmarriage.org/podcast/ep-147-safe-and-sound-how-to-co-regulate-in-marriage-and-become-each-others-safe-place

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