For decades, people have gone on record with a surprising level of consistency, telling stories of their experience being abducted by aliens. Bright lights, paralysis, transportation, experimentation, and a whole lot more. But we do avoid saying the phrase "anal probe," which we're pretty proud of. Well. Until now. Dammit.

On this episode of The What If? Podcast, we discuss this lasting phenomenon, tell the story of Charles Hickson and Calvin Parker and their abduction from the shores of a river in Mississippi. We also play some listener voicemails from our many buddies, and discuss the joys of new home ownership.

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