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In this episode of the Inner Wealth Podcast, we dive deep into control programs—the subconscious mechanisms we develop to avoid pain, stress, and failure. These hidden patterns shape how we think, act, and make decisions, often without us even realizing it. Whether it’s the need for perfection, overthinking every decision, or trying to control how others perceive us, these behaviors create an illusion of safety while keeping us stuck.

Mike explores how unfamiliarity, uncertainty, and unpredictability trigger control programs and how to break free from them. He shares personal experiences, practical insights, and a powerful mindset shift to help you trust life, embrace the unknown, and create real freedom.

Key Takeaways

• Control programs are rooted in fear. They exist because we haven’t built trust in ourselves, life, or our ability to handle uncertainty.
• The most common control programs:
  • Perfectionism – Believing that if we get everything right, we can avoid failure or rejection.
  • Overthinking and overanalyzing – Trying to mentally control the future by planning for every possible outcome.
  • Trying to control the future – Seeking certainty before taking action, convinced that perfect planning eliminates risk.
  • Isolation and withdrawal – Avoiding vulnerability by pulling away from others to maintain a false sense of control.
  • Controlling the way others perceive you – Managing how you are seen to avoid judgment, rejection, or disapproval.
• Control doesn’t create safety—it creates stress. The more we try to control life, the more exhausted and disconnected we become.
• Freedom comes from surrender. Learning to trust the unpredictable nature of life is the key to peace, joy, and real success.

Notable Quotes

"Control programs don’t make life easier—they just make you feel like you’re avoiding disaster. But in reality, they’re keeping you stuck in a cycle of fear."

"Perfectionism, overthinking, and trying to control how people see you don’t actually protect you. They just keep you playing small."

"If you don’t trust life, you’ll spend all your time rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic instead of actually living."

"You’ve survived every challenge you’ve faced so far. So why are you still afraid of the unknown?"

"Life isn’t fragile. Your lack of trust in life is what makes it feel fragile."

Music Credit: "What's Left of Me" by Wes Hoffman & Friends

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Mike Kitko is an executive self-mastery coach, speaker and author. He found external success through powerful titles, incomes, and material possessions. He ultimately fell into depression, toxic abuse of alcohol, and the near collapse of his family before he began a journey of internal happiness and success.