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In today’s episode of Healed, Now What?, Lisa Dawn dives deep into the intricacies of the fearful avoidant attachment style—a dynamic that can feel like a push-pull dance between craving connection and fearing it. Lisa shares personal stories, insights from her own healing journey, and practical tools to help you recognize and transform this attachment pattern, whether it’s your own or that of a loved one.

Discover how early chaos and inconsistency can shape how we love and connect, and learn how to move toward greater emotional regulation, trust, and intimacy.

If you’ve ever felt caught in the whirlwind of wanting closeness but fearing vulnerability, this episode is for you.

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[0:00] – Welcome & Introduction
Lisa introduces the podcast and her mission: helping others transform their wounds into strengths through somatic and attachment psychology.

[2:18] – A Grounding Exercise: Reflecting on Safety
Lisa guides a grounding practice to connect with feelings of safety by recalling consistent, protective relationships in your life.

[6:05] – What Is Fearful Avoidant Attachment?
Lisa defines fearful avoidant attachment and its roots in chaotic or inconsistent caregiving. She explains its hallmark behaviors: craving intimacy but fearing it.

[9:42] – Lisa’s Personal Story of Fearful Avoidant Patterns
Lisa shares her experiences of struggling to receive love, needing control, and feeling disoriented during conflicts early in her relationship.

[14:30] – How Trauma Shapes Fearful Avoidant Attachment
An exploration of how trauma, especially chaotic or abusive childhood environments, creates the push-pull dynamic of fearful avoidant attachment.

[17:50] – Recognizing Fearful Avoidant Patterns in Yourself or Others

[22:05] – Common Triggers for Fearful Avoidants
Lisa explains triggers like lack of trust, emotional intensity, and pressure to open up or rely on others.

[24:40] – How to Heal Fearful Avoidant Attachment

[29:15] – Rebuilding Basic Trust and Creating Safety
Lisa introduces the importance of creating safe spaces for connection and highlights her course Reclaiming Resilience.

[31:40] – Supporting a Fearful Avoidant Partner

[35:20] – Attachment Is Not a Life Sentence
Lisa reminds listeners that attachment wounds are starting points for healing, not permanent states. With awareness and practice, love can feel safe and steady.