Find me at: www.annaholtzman.com and IG @anna_holtzman

Have you ever cried into your pillow out of desperation when yet another migraine snuck up on you and ruined your day? I have. If you have too, I can truly empathize.

As a psychotherapist and coach who helps people heal from chronic pain, I draw on teachings from books and courses by experts in the field. But my greatest teacher by far has been my own journey of healing from chronic migraines.

I hope that my story invites you to imagine what healing from chronic pain could look like for you.

Part 1: Pain Is a Message

I had migraines for 10+ years. They started as a once-in-a-while thing, but by ten years in they were happening 1–3 times per week. It became a major interference with work, life and frankly, my sanity.

When it first began, I was working a high-pressure job in TV and I could tell that my headaches were related to stress. By the time they reached their worst, I’d left TV and was in grad school to become a therapist. I was studying trauma and was well aware of the mind-body connection. But I couldn’t seem to make a dent in the migraines. I was almost running out of my prescription painkillers each month and I was at my wits’ end.

Then one day when I was feeling desperate, I came across an app called Curable. I wouldn’t normally have thought that an app could help me with migraines, but as I said, I was desperate. And I’m so grateful that I took a chance!

From Curable, I learned something that would start me on a healing path eventually leading to the end of my chronic migraines. It was this: Pain is a danger signal and it’s created in the brain when our nervous system feels unsafe. If we want to turn off the pain signal, we have to help our nervous system feel safe again.

Sometimes the danger is physical (like a broken arm) and sometimes it’s emotional (like a stressful relationship.) Sometimes it’s a learned association (similar to a trauma trigger.)

Sometimes establishing safety is an inside job (like reassuring myself that I’m okay) and sometimes it’s an outside job (like removing myself from an unhealthy social situation.) Often it’s a bit of both.

Once I made these connections, I was able to learn how to stop fighting or avoiding the pain and instead turn toward establishing safety.

Part 2: Express Yourself

As I put this knowledge into practice, I soon began to experience a reduction in the frequency, duration and intensity of migraines. I was psyched!

But healing is not a straight line, and over the course of a year, I had breakthroughs and setbacks, eventually leveling out into what felt like a plateau.

Then one day, a major setback whacked me over the head: I was on the subway in the middle of an hour-long trip when an intense migraine started closing in on me. Dizzy, nauseous and scared, I stumbled out of the train car, switched directions and headed back home feeling defeated, frustrated and hopeless.

Once I gained my bearings, I knew I needed a new tool in my healing toolkit. I’d heard about expressive journaling for chronic pain, but I’d avoided it for some reason. I figured: Why not give it a try.

To keep reading, go to: https://medium.com/p/cd7cc54c32f4

If you’re wondering, “Why the *bleep* am I still in pain?!” — take the FREE QUIZ that I designed to help you get some clarity.

And follow me on instagram for daily healing tips, inspiration and support.