October 07, 2022

Episode 184: Honest Sex

45 minutes

Some say we are outgrowing marriage as a culture. However, the problem that author Shana James regularly sees as a relationship coach—and through her own divorce—is that many of us have not matured enough to create the emotionally-connected, sexually-satisfying relationships we long for. Shana is the creator and host of the Man Alive podcast and has a TEDx Talk, “What 1,000 Men's Tears Reveal About the Crisis Between Men and Women.” In her latest book, Honest Sex, she uses her Master’s in psychology, DISC, and Positive Intelligence certifications to guide readers.

As a relationship coach for 20 years, she humbly discovered the causes of disconnection and distrust in relationships, as well as how to build trust and keep passion alive. Shana’s new book, Honest Sex, teaches us what kind of honesty is effective for creating closeness, what sex actually is (rather than what we've been taught), and how to communicate desires and upsets to create more intimacy.

By examining new ways to sustain connection with a partner, author Shana James illuminates a framework for relationships to start strong and get more intimate and exciting over time.

Listen to this insightful Whinypaluza episode with Shana James about creating trust and honesty in your relationship to increase and improve intimacy with your partner.

Here is what to expect on this week’s show:

The topic of sex was very taboo for many of us growing up. Education was relegated to safety and reproduction. Having an open conversation about sex can lead to great discomfort for many of us.

Having an honest and intimate conversation with your partner can be intimidating. Oftentimes more so than talking with a stranger. There is a level of vulnerability that exists with closer relationships.

Immature honesty is typically based in complaining, shaming, and a closed mind.

Mature honesty is being open to talk about something, even when you have discomfort around the subject.

Shana’s expanded definition of what sex actually is: exploration, play, coming together with a person- emotionally, physically and energetically. Don’t limit it to intercourse.

Focus on the connection and enjoying, rather than the end result. While an orgasm is wonderful, it isn’t the only thing to focus on.

Avoiding these conversations will lead to stagnancy. Getting through the difficult conversations will get you through the discomfort and lead to a wonderful place.

Consider having a debriefing conversation after sex. Don’t ask “what didn’t work,” ask what they liked and what they want more of.

What is intimacy?

How to become “more alive” both individually, and as a couple.

Connect with Shana:

Website https://shanajamescoaching.com/

Honest Sex Book https://shanajamescoaching.com/honest-sex/

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/user/shanajames

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/truesuccessformen/

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By Rebecca Greene

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