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What if teaching our kids resilience didn’t require another lecture or perfectly worded conversation? What if we simply helped them look outside?
In this heartfelt episode of The Whinypaluza Podcast, Rebecca Greene welcomes author, entrepreneur and mom Amber Vilhauer, who co-created What Nature Teaches Us with her son, Clay.
What began as Clay’s desire to write a book grew into a journey of listening to children, trusting their wisdom and discovering the lessons nature teaches us every day.
Amber shares why she resisted rewriting Clay’s ideas through an adult lens. Instead, their walks sparked conversations about the sun, clouds, grass and rivers, and what they reveal about resilience, self-worth, emotions and belonging.
Rebecca and Amber discuss one of parenting’s greatest challenges: allowing children to experience big feelings without rushing to fix everything. Resilience develops when kids learn they can feel disappointment, move through difficult moments and stand back up.
Nature offers simple ways to explain these lessons. Clouds carry heavy things and keep moving. Grass bends under pressure and rises again. Difficult moments do not have to be permanent.
They also explore intuition, internal validation and the difference between praising children and helping them recognize their own effort, character and growth.
For parents, the conversation is a reminder to slow down. Amid schedules, screens and expectations, spending time outside together can restore connection and perspective.
At the heart of Amber and Clay’s message is a simple invitation: Choose the Light. We cannot control everything around us, but we can choose how we show up for ourselves, our children and others.
Amber and Clay invite Whinypaluza listeners to a free virtual workshop on October 22, featuring a condensed version of Clay’s educational course, How to Write, Publish and Launch a Bestselling Children’s Book.
Families and aspiring young authors will explore how to develop an idea and bring a children’s book into the world. Listeners will also receive Clay’s Activity Kit and additional resources.
Learn more about Clay’s course:
https://choosethelight.com/how-to-write-publish-launch-bestselling-childrens-book-vilhauer/
Download Clay’s Activity Kit:
https://choosethelight.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/07/FULL-Activity-Kit.pdf
Additional details about the October 22 workshop will be shared as they become available.
Learn more about Amber, Clay and Choose the Light:
https://choosethelight.com/
Listen to What Nature Can Teach Our Kids About Resilience and more episodes of The
Whinypaluza Podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-whinypaluza-podcast/id1534167756
Have you ever shared something about your children, marriage, or life, only to receive a flood of advice you never asked for?
From pregnancy and breastfeeding to school choices, sports, relationships, and career decisions, everyone seems to have an opinion about how we should live our lives.
In this week's Whinypaluza Wednesday, Rebecca Greene and her husband, Seth, tackle something they've experienced throughout their 21 years of marriage: unsolicited advice.
Rebecca shares how she once allowed other people's opinions to influence her decisions and create unnecessary stress. Looking back, she wishes she had trusted herself more, especially during those early years of motherhood.
But this conversation isn't simply about telling people to mind their own business. Rebecca and Seth explore an important distinction between advice that helps us grow and advice that reflects someone else's experiences, insecurities, or personal preferences.
They also discuss how to listen without immediately trying to fix someone's problems, why children need opportunities to find their own solutions, and how to establish boundaries without damaging relationships.
Through personal stories, humor, and lessons learned over two decades of parenting, Rebecca reminds us that we can appreciate someone's perspective without allowing it to dictate our decisions.
In This Episode, You'll Discover:
Why unsolicited advice can feel so overwhelming. From wedding planning to raising teenagers, Rebecca reflects on the pressure of navigating everyone's opinions.
How to recognize advice worth considering. Learn to evaluate the source, consider the person's experience, and decide whether their guidance aligns with your family's values.
Why listening is sometimes more powerful than fixing. Rebecca and Seth discuss how asking thoughtful questions can help children develop confidence, independence, and problem-solving skills.
How to establish healthy boundaries. Discover why it's perfectly acceptable to thank someone for their perspective while choosing a different path.
Why one family's solution may not work for another. Rebecca shares personal experiences involving breastfeeding, education, extracurricular activities, and career choices.
How to trust yourself while remaining open to learning. The goal isn't to reject every suggestion. It's to recognize what is useful without losing confidence in your own decisions.
The Biggest Takeaway
You don't have to follow every piece of advice you receive, and you don't have to defend every decision you make.
Listen when there's something to learn, set boundaries when needed, and remember you know your family, your values, and your circumstances better than anyone else.
Sometimes the most helpful advice is learning when you don't need it.
Listen to The Whinypaluza Podcast on Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-whinypaluza-podcast/id1534167756
Enjoyed this conversation? Subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another parent who could use a reminder to trust their own judgment.
What if the child you worry about most is learning to speak up for herself, while the child who never causes trouble needs more room to be herself?
Rebecca Greene welcomes Dr. Shefali, clinical psychologist, bestselling author, and founder of the Conscious Parenting Movement, for a candid conversation about raising children who know their own worth. Dr. Shefali explains why conscious parenting begins with examining our own expectations, reactions, and need for control.
Rebecca brings questions from her own life as a mother. They discuss how to respond when a strong-willed daughter speaks in a tone that sets you off, why an easygoing “perfect” child may be hiding her needs, and how parents can let children experience ordinary setbacks without rushing to fix everything.
They also explore what sons may need as they grow, the pressure children face online, and the difference between connection and smothering. Drawing on her books Raising Conscious Daughters and Raising Conscious Sons, Dr. Shefali offers parents a place to start: make one small change, practice it for a week, and keep learning alongside your child.
In this episode:
Learn more about Dr. Shefali and her books at DrShefali.com.
Listen to The Whinypaluza Podcast on Apple Podcasts.
Please Don’t Give Up
When your child says, “I hate this. I don’t want to do it anymore,” when do you listen... and when do you keep pushing?
In this Whinypaluza Wednesday, Rebecca and Seth get very real about that question as they share the ongoing adventure of teaching Ella to drive.
Ella does not love driving. Actually, she really does not love driving.
That immediately brought Rebecca back to another experience from Ella’s childhood: learning to ride a bike. Ella hated the feeling of it, hated falling, and eventually decided she simply did not want to learn.
Now Rebecca sees a familiar pattern appearing behind the wheel.
But this time she is asking a harder parenting question.
Is letting our children walk away always supporting them?
Or are there moments when our job as parents is to help them stay with something long enough to get through the uncomfortable part?
Rebecca also shares an important realization about herself. When she initially tried to teach Ella to drive, her own anxiety made the experience harder for both of them. Seth stepped in with a completely different approach. He stayed calm, found things to praise, and helped Ella build confidence.
It worked.
But Rebecca began to wonder whether encouragement without enough challenge could only take Ella so far.
That is where parenting gets complicated.
Sometimes our children need compassion.
Sometimes they need patience.
Sometimes they need someone to believe in them when they do not believe in themselves yet.
And sometimes they need us to lovingly say, “I know you don’t like this, but we’re not giving up yet.”
This conversation is also about something much bigger than driving.
Rebecca talks about the reality of September, getting back into school routines, homecoming, packed schedules, studying and the feeling that there simply is not enough time for one more thing.
Ella believes even ten minutes spent practicing driving is ten minutes she cannot spend studying.
Rebecca sees it differently.
Life will always be busy.
There will almost always be a reason something is inconvenient.
The question becomes whether we allow being busy, uncomfortable or afraid to make our decisions for us.
Key Takeaways
Parenting does not always mean removing discomfort. Sometimes growth requires helping our children stay in the discomfort long enough to discover that they can handle it.
Your child’s resistance does not automatically mean you are doing the wrong thing. “I don’t like this” and “I cannot do this” are two very different statements.
Different children need different parenting approaches. Rebecca and Seth openly acknowledge that what works with one of their children may not work with another.
Parents need self-awareness too. Rebecca realized her anxiety was making driving practice harder for Ella and let Seth take over when Ella needed his calmer approach.
Encouragement matters, but so does challenge. Confidence can grow when children experience themselves doing something they once thought they could not do.
Being busy can become an easy reason to stop. Ten minutes may feel insignificant to a parent and enormous to an overwhelmed teenager. Both perspectives can exist at the same time.
There is a difference between forcing a child toward our goals and helping them persist toward something that will give them independence, confidence, or an important life skill.
And perhaps the biggest reminder of all:
Sometimes the lesson is not about driving, the bike, the test, or whatever challenge is directly in front of us.
Sometimes the lesson is simply learning:
I can do hard things. I can be uncomfortable. I can keep going.
Because our children will eventually face challenges we cannot solve for them.
One of the greatest things we can give them is the experience of discovering that difficulty does not always mean stop.
Sometimes it simply means:
Please don’t give up.
Rebecca Greene has interviewed parenting experts, authors, therapists, and educators, but this conversation may contain some of the most important parenting advice she has ever received.
Her guest is her daughter, Lillie Greene, who is celebrating her 14th birthday and beginning her freshman year of high school.
In this warm, honest, and occasionally emotional mother-daughter conversation, Lillie shares what it really feels like to enter high school, navigate changing friendships, manage pressure, and grow into a more independent version of herself.
Lillie explains that teenagers’ moods and communication are not always directed at their parents. Sometimes their minds are simply overloaded. Her advice to parents is refreshingly direct: don't take every response personally, don't force a conversation, and give teenagers time to come back when they are ready.
Rebecca also learns why asking questions immediately after school can feel overwhelming, even when those questions come from love. She shares a powerful moment when she resisted the urge to question Lillie after a school dance and waited until Lillie was ready to talk the following day.
Their conversation reveals an important distinction between giving teenagers freedom and abandoning parental responsibility. Lillie wants more independence, while Rebecca still needs to know where she is, who she is with, and how she is getting home. Together, they discover that trust grows when both parent and teenager communicate clearly.
Lillie also opens up about people-pleasing, fitting in, developing confidence, learning to slow down, and choosing friends who reflect the person she wants to become.
This episode reminds us that staying close to a teenager doesn't require parents to have all the right answers. It requires patience, curiosity, emotional safety, and the willingness to listen without immediately correcting, questioning, or fixing.
In this episode:
• What the transition from middle school to high school really feels like
• Why teenagers may need time to decompress before talking
• How parents can stop taking every teenage response personally
• The difference between independence and a lack of communication
• What Lillie has learned about friendship and fitting in
• Why “you are who you surround yourself with” matters in high school
• How self-talk and supportive friendships build confidence
• Why physical activity helps Lillie manage overwhelm
• The lesson Lillie is learning about slowing down
• How Rebecca is learning to wait instead of pushing for answers
• What helps teenagers feel safe enough to tell their parents the truth
• Lillie’s honest advice for parents of teenagers
Lillie leaves parents with a message worth remembering:
“Don’t force things upon your kids. Let them do what they need to do, and be the one there to support them.”
Listen to The Whinypaluza Podcast on Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-whinypaluza-podcast/id1534167756
This Episode Is Sponsored by Lovebug Probiotics
Moms spend so much time caring for everyone else that supporting their own health can fall off the list. Lovebug Probiotics makes it easier to add gut-health support to the family routine.
Created by co-founder and mom Ashley Harris after her experience with broad-spectrum antibiotics, Lovebug offers science-focused probiotics made with clean ingredients for babies, toddlers, kids, moms, and other adults. Options include Kids Probiotic Chewables, Tummy Gummies, and Little Ones, all thoughtfully formulated to support digestive and immune health.*
Shop Lovebug Probiotics and use code WHINYPALUZA20 for 20% off your first order:
https://lovebug.com/collections/all
These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
One week of school, and then it was homecoming. Rebecca and Seth’s daughters had barely settled into the new school year before the family was juggling dates, friends, photos, rides, and plans that seemed to change every few minutes.
In this Whinypaluza Wednesday conversation, Seth joins Rebecca from Las Vegas to look back on the excitement and chaos. Ella was celebrating her last homecoming, while Lillie was attending her first. Rebecca wanted to show up for both girls, but their different plans made that harder than it sounds.
Rebecca and Seth also talk about a lesson they’ve learned as parents: kids don’t all want the same homecoming experience. One may want a big group, another may prefer a few friends, and another may not want to go to the dance at all. Supporting your child sometimes means letting go of the picture you had in your head.
In this episode:
The challenge of balancing one daughter’s first homecoming with another daughter’s last
Why kids should be free to enjoy school dances in their own way, including choosing not to go
The changing plans before the dance and the parents who helped make it all work
Rebecca’s decision to let Lillie go with her friends, even though it meant missing the photo of her daughters together that she wanted
Why clear updates about rides and after-dance plans matter to parents
How Rebecca and Seth found a quiet moment for dinner together in the middle of a chaotic day
The girls had a good time, and the evening worked out. Rebecca and Seth are honest about the stress it took to get there, too. Their advice for parents in the thick of it: talk to other parents, stay flexible, and choose which moments matter most.
What has homecoming been like in your family? Rebecca and Seth would love to hear your stories and advice.
Listen to The Whinypaluza Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-whinypaluza-podcast/id1534167756
This Episode Is Sponsored by Lovebug Probiotics
Moms spend so much time caring for everyone else that supporting their own health can fall off the list. Lovebug Probiotics makes it easier to add gut-health support to the family routine.
Created by co-founder and mom Ashley Harris after her experience with broad-spectrum antibiotics, Lovebug offers science-focused probiotics made with clean ingredients for babies, toddlers, kids, moms, and other adults. Options include Kids Probiotic Chewables, Tummy Gummies, and Little Ones, all thoughtfully formulated to support digestive and immune health.*
Shop Lovebug Probiotics: https://lovebug.com/collections/all
Use code WHINYPALUZA20 for 20% off your first order.
These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
What happens when a woman who has spent years managing everyone else’s life finally reaches her breaking point?
Rebecca Greene welcomes novelist Kristin Bair for a funny, honest and deeply relatable conversation inspired by Kristin’s novel, Clementine Crane Prefers Not To. Rebecca loved the book so much that she read it twice, recommended it to every mother she knew and knew she had to bring Kristin to the Whinypaluza audience.
The novel begins with a hot flash, but the real story is much bigger: the invisible mental load women carry, the resentment that grows when one person becomes responsible for everything and the moment a woman realizes she is allowed to stop.
Kristin shares how perimenopause collided with a line she had carried since graduate school: “I would prefer not to,” from Herman Melville’s Bartleby, the Scrivener. Together, those ideas became Clementine Crane, an overwhelmed wife and mother whose first hot flash sparks a personal rebellion.
Rebecca and Kristin explore why women are so often expected to remember appointments, manage relationships, plan celebrations, anticipate everyone’s needs and keep the household moving. Kristin makes an important distinction: women did not necessarily create these roles. They inherited them, were not taught how to reject them and often continued carrying everything because they could not see another way.
Kristin encourages women to begin with one small act of resistance. Leave the laundry alone. Do not automatically plan the family outing. Stop solving a problem before anyone else notices it exists. Saying “I prefer not to” can begin quietly, with one decision that gives a woman room to breathe.
They also discuss using humor to confront difficult truths, what men can do to create healthier relationships, Kristin’s writing process and why she protects each student’s unique voice.
What You’ll LearnKristin Bair is a novelist, essayist and writing instructor who writes fiercely and humorously about women navigating motherhood, marriage, ambition, identity, perimenopause and the mental load.
Her fourth novel, Clementine Crane Prefers Not To, follows a woman whose first hot flash awakens her to the invisible responsibilities she has accepted for years. Kristin also wrote Agatha Arch Is Afraid of Everything, The Art of Floating and Thirsty.
Website: https://www.kristinbairokeeffe.com/
Instagram and TikTok: @kbairokeeffe
Book: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/709879/clementine-crane-prefers-not-to-by-kristin-bair/
This Episode Is Sponsored by Lovebug ProbioticsMoms spend so much time caring for everyone else that supporting their own health can fall off the list. Lovebug Probiotics makes it easier to add gut-health support to the family routine.
Created by co-founder and mom Ashley Harris after her experience with broad-spectrum antibiotics, Lovebug offers science-focused probiotics made with clean ingredients for babies, toddlers, kids, moms and other adults. Options include Kids Probiotic Chewables, Tummy Gummies and Little Ones, all thoughtfully formulated to support digestive and immune health.*
Shop: https://lovebug.com/collections/all
Use code WHINYPALUZA20 for 20% off your first order.
These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
Listen to Whinypaluza: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-whinypaluza-podcast/id1534167756
Remember to laugh a lot, learn and love.
High standards can inspire children to work hard and reach meaningful goals. But when those standards become unrelenting, achievement can stop feeling rewarding and start feeling like a requirement for being worthy.
In this Whinypaluza Wednesday episode, Rebecca and Seth Greene explore how perfectionism, anxiety, external validation, family expectations, and the need for control can quietly create enormous pressure for children and parents alike.
Rebecca also asks parents to consider a difficult but important question: Are our children learning to be hard on themselves by watching how hard we are on ourselves?
This conversation is not about lowering expectations or discouraging ambition. It is about helping children pursue their goals without believing they must always be perfect.
The goal is not to raise children who stop caring. It is to raise children who understand that their worth is not determined by a grade, award, performance, or perfectly planned future.
Listen to The Whinypaluza Podcast on Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-whinypaluza-podcast/id1534167756
Moms spend so much time caring for everyone else that supporting their own health can fall off the list. Lovebug Probiotics makes it easier to add gut-health support to the family routine.
Created by co-founder and mom Ashley Harris after her experience with broad-spectrum antibiotics, Lovebug offers science-focused probiotics made with clean ingredients for babies, toddlers, kids, moms, and other adults. Options include Kids Probiotic Chewables, Tummy Gummies, and Little Ones, all thoughtfully formulated to support digestive and immune health.*
Shop Lovebug Probiotics and use code WHINYPALUZA20 for 20% off your first order.
These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
Looking for more support helping your child move from overwhelm toward regulation?
Get Dr. Roseann’s FREE Nervous System Starter Kit and join The Nervous System Reset: 4 Weeks to Regulated for practical tools to help you understand dysregulation, regulate yourself first, and create more calm and connection at home.
The free three-day Nervous System Reset LIVE takes place September 21–23.
Get started here:
https://go.drroseann.com/kit?am_id=rebecca2879
The Nervous System Starter Kit and four-week Nervous System Reset are free. Rebecca may earn a commission if you later purchase a paid Dr. Roseann program through this link, at no additional cost to you.
Many mothers become so focused on caring for everyone else that they slowly lose touch with themselves. Their days revolve around responsibilities, expectations, and never-ending to-do lists, leaving little room to consider what they need or how they want to feel.
In this episode of the Whinypaluza Podcast, Rebecca Greene speaks with Amy Pons, founder of Unlock the Magic, about reconnecting with your intuition, rediscovering your identity, and learning to trust yourself again.
After 20 years in mainstream business and marketing, Amy realized that the success she had worked so hard to build no longer felt aligned with who she truly was. Her body, emotions, and intuition were telling her that something needed to change. That realization led Amy to leave corporate life and begin helping others move beyond the roles, rules, and expectations that have kept them disconnected from themselves.
Amy explains why mothers must stop placing themselves last and challenges women to create a “to-feel list” alongside their traditional to-do list. Rather than adding another responsibility, this practice asks women to identify how they want to feel and make choices that support that intention.
Rebecca and Amy also explore intuition, purpose, energy, chakras, generational patterns, and how a mother’s willingness to live more authentically can influence her children. Amy reminds listeners that children learn how to trust themselves by watching the adults in their lives make courageous, aligned choices.
This deeply personal conversation encourages women to honor their inner knowing, remain open to different possibilities, and stop assuming that caring for themselves means caring less about everyone else.
Amy Pons is the founder of Unlock the Magic, where she helps people reconnect with who they truly are beyond the roles, rules, and expectations they have spent years trying to fit into.
After 20 years in mainstream business and marketing, Amy realized she had spent much of her life quieting her intuition and forcing herself into a version of success that no longer felt aligned. Today, she blends business experience, life coaching, energy work, and soul-centered guidance to help others live more fully, honestly, and freely.
Website: https://unlockthemagic.org
LinkedIn: https://linkedin.com/in/amyponsismagic
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unlockthemagic_
Connect with Rebecca:
https://linktr.ee/whinypaluzamom
Looking for practical support to help your child move from overwhelm toward greater calm and regulation?
Download Dr. Roseann’s FREE Nervous System Starter Kit and join The Nervous System Reset: 4 Weeks to Regulated for tools to help you understand dysregulation, regulate yourself first, and create more calm and connection at home.
Get free access here:
https://go.drroseann.com/kit?am_id=rebecca2879
Affiliate disclosure: The Starter Kit and Nervous System Reset are free. If you later purchase a paid Dr. Roseann program through Rebecca’s link, Rebecca may earn a commission at no additional cost to you.
Back-to-school season brings new schedules, new expectations, early mornings, and plenty of emotions for both kids and parents. Whether your child is starting high school, heading off to college, or simply beginning another school year, the transition is a good opportunity to reset routines and think about what will help everyone thrive.
In this Whinypaluza Wednesday episode, Rebecca Greene and her husband, Seth, share back-to-school advice from the entire Greene family. With Max beginning his sophomore year of college, Ella entering her senior year of high school, and Lily starting her freshman year, each family member brings a different perspective on handling the school year.
Their advice ranges from practical tips about preparation, routines, and even finding the best time to do college laundry to bigger lessons about setting goals, getting involved, making friends, and remembering that everything will eventually get done. Rebecca and Seth also discuss the importance of maintaining basic needs like sleep, healthy food, water, and exercise when schedules become busy.
Most importantly, back to school does not have to mean back to perfection. Kids need time to adjust, learn, make mistakes, and figure things out. Parents can set clear expectations while also recognizing when children are putting too much pressure on themselves. Effort and progress matter more than getting everything exactly right.
In this episode:
➡ Why routines and structure can make the transition back to school easier
➡ Encouraging kids to pace themselves and trust that everything will get done
➡ Helping children talk about what they are experiencing instead of keeping it inside
➡ Setting goals and encouraging kids to pursue opportunities that interest them
➡ Why every child should find a way to get involved at school
➡ Preparing ahead without expecting everything to be perfect
➡ Finding quality friendships and encouraging kids to include others
➡ Prioritizing sleep, nutrition, hydration, and exercise
➡ Setting clear expectations without creating unnecessary pressure
➡ Giving yourself and your children grace during periods of transition
➡ Slowing down enough to enjoy the season of life you are in
Every school year is a season that eventually passes. While it is easy to focus on grades, schedules, activities, and what comes next, Rebecca reminds parents and kids to enjoy where they are right now. Give yourself time to adjust, find something you enjoy, connect with people, and keep moving toward your goals.
Listen to Back to School Tips from My Family to Yours!, then share your family's best back-to-school tip with Rebecca.
Explore Rebecca’s podcast, blog, newsletter, parenting community, and other resources at www.whinypaluza.com.
If this episode helped you, please follow the podcast, leave a rating or review, and share it with another parent who could use a little encouragement as the new school year begins.
Looking for more support helping your child move from overwhelm toward regulation? Download Dr. Roseann’s FREE Nervous System Starter Kit and join The Nervous System Reset: 4 Weeks to Regulated for practical tools to help you understand dysregulation, regulate yourself first, and create more calm and connection at home: https://go.drroseann.com/kit?am_id=rebecca2879
Affiliate disclosure: Rebecca may earn a commission if you later purchase a paid program through this link, at no additional cost to you. The Starter Kit and Nervous System Reset are free.
From the publisher's feed
Parenthood is an adventure! The joys, the frustration, the laughter, and the tears- we all find unique and universal challenges as parents. When one issue resolves, another is waiting in the wings. Our jobs as parents are truly never done. It really is the toughest job you will ever love. The Whinypaluza Podcast is all about inspiring adventures in parenting! Rebecca Greene, LCSW-R and Top 100 Mommy Blogger puts her experience and education in psychology and social work to the test while she shares insightful thoughts on marriage, stay-at-home life, and keeping three energetic kids safe and happy.

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