Renunciation is the determination to be free from our own cycle of suffering and dissatisfaction. Renunciation is a state of mind, like patience, compassion, or contentment. Much like these virtuous states of mind, developing renunciation leads us to deeper and deeper levels of inner peace. In this episode, we explore how renunciation directs our focus toward spiritual development, creates happiness, and how we can develop this state of mind.

Normally, we're always looking for something...something to ease discomfort, abate dissatisfaction or boredom, or give us pleasure. If we're lonely, we might seek out a new partner. If we're depressed, we might eat a bowl of ice cream or drink to intoxication. We turn to these things for some refuge, but the relief is brief, and they don't address our real problem. In fact, these sources of relief often bring us more problems! The first step in developing renunciation (the wish to be free of the cycle of suffering and dissatisfaction) is to understand that these external sources of refuge don't work. But don't just believe me! You can check whether the things you are trying to solve your problems are true or false refuge.

The four-point way to check whether something is a false refuge or real refuge:

1. Does it create any unwanted side effects or more problems?

2. Does it address the real source of the problem?

3. Does it create peace in the mind?

4. Does it always give you relief when you turn to it?

If you answered yes to all four questions = real refuge

If you answered no to any of these questions = false refuge

When we realize that we seek relief in false sources of refuge, we look for real solutions. This search for real solutions is renunciation. Often, people hear the teachings on renunciation and think it's about giving up worldly pleasure. Because renunciation is necessary for the attainment of enlightenment, we might think that enlightenment is only possible for monks or nuns. Renunciation is not about giving up worldly pleasure but relating to pleasures differently. As we develop renunciation, we begin to transcend the desire for the fleeting happiness or relief that arises from worldly pursuits. But when delight graces our path, we welcome it, savoring the enjoyment without chaining it to our expectations.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we weren't shocked or sad when something we really enjoyed ended? Perhaps, for example, we'd be grateful for the good times when a relationship ended, knowing they were bound to end somehow. Often, we become angry when the most pleasurable things cease to give us the same pleasure but instead give us mostly pain. Generally, we don't attribute this pain to our mental habits. We keep getting lost in the valley of some familiar pain. Or we addictively desire the same peak of pleasure. We experience the same cycles of pain because our mind is set up for similar disappointments or dissatisfaction.

The solution to pain or dissatisfaction, therefore, is within the mind. With this growing wisdom of renunciation, we turn to what can help us solve our real problems. For Buddhists, this means taking refuge in the teachings, the teacher, and the spiritual community. When we start developing real sources of refuge, like patience or compassion, we stop being tossed on the waves of changing fortune and turn our attention to a higher goal: cultivating our inner potential.

Him I call a brahman

who has cut the strap of ill will,

the thong of craving,

and the cord of wrong views together with latent defilements,

who has lifted the bar that fastens the door of ignorance,

and who knows the Truth.

—Buddha, The Dhammapada, Verse 398

References with Links

Fronsdal, Gil (2023).The Dhammapada: A Translation of the Buddhist Classic with Annotations. (Kindle). Published by Shambala (Link).

Je Tsongkhapa (2014). Great Treatise on the Stages of the Path to Enlightenment, by Je Tsongkhapa, Volume 1 and Volume 2 (Kindle). Translated by the Lamrim Chenmo Translation Committee. Joshua Cutler, Editor-in-Chief, and Guy Newlan, Editor.

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