Andrew humbles himself before God and man over last week's poor audio quality. We forgive you, Andrew, but Jesus doesn't. "Freedom" is spelled c-a-u-c-u-s if you're an Iowan or clinically insane person. We jump right into the goods with an overview of why, God, why do we do this to ourselves? How did we get here. Why don't we have nice things. The Iowa results, why they're pretty over-hyped, and our thoughts on what's coming up next in this circus of an election year. An AP Choice-Palooza brings up several new ideas for "Wait But Why?", questions whether we'd have sex with our clones (?!), and asks how the fuck we can make election day a national holiday. (Answer: Assert dominance. Stop showing up to work.) Hidden from the Headlines: Fake Out Edition gets nice and weird, with two real stories and one fake one. Listen closely and guess which lying piece of shit is the intruder. Surprise, BITCH! finally brings us Tiara after 493 unsuccessful calls. Thanks for being a team player, Tiara.

And in this week's After Dark (now available to all $2/month Patrons):

A new app promises to be the OKCupid of platonic relationships. Would we use this? Why don't we have any friends? Why is it so hard to make friends as an adult? How are long-distance friendships different (and often more real) than traditional ones? We share our personal stories and tribulations, most notably about each other, and Andrew reveals he doesn't like us that much. Fuck you Andrew.

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