​Welcome back, sycophants.

Episode 38 opens with a quick recap of the presidential election, wherein we bemoan the loss of both Joe Biden's and (probably) Jeb Bush's campaigns.​ Murdering toddlers: not as clear-cut of an issue as you might think. News kicks off with a warning for the small percentage of the population that eats meat. Harry's back! And not just Harry, but his son, Albus Severus Sirius James Carrot McNugget Toyota Steve Potter Jr. too! Hidden from the Headlines reveals historians recently discovered the origins of the King James Bible, and with it, perhaps a bit of realism about how best to interpret the Word of God. Surprise, BITCH! welcomes Paige and her deathly fear of sidewalks. Halloween inspires us to take a look at the history of the holiday, and more importantly, our own creepy-scary stories.

And in this week's After Dark:

Andrew asks us what other babies we'd kill, because why not. Our funniest Halloween stories reveal a lot about our childhoods and our friendships Somehow this segues into reliving the embarrassing tale of how the girls met, and how they collectively cyberbullied an online robot. It gets weird.

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