The Whinypaluza Podcast

Episode 420: Gottman's Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work


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How can couples maintain a strong marriage through both simple daily interactions and handling bigger challenges?


In this Valentine's month, host Rebecca Greene and her husband Seth discuss Dr. John Gottman's seven principles for making marriage work, sharing their experiences and insights from their 21-year relationship and a recent marriage workshop they attended. They explore how these principles play out in real-life situations, from handling communication challenges to building shared meaning as a couple.



Key Takeaways: 

➞ Love maps are dynamic and require continuous updating as partners grow and change - couples need to stay curious about their partner's evolving interests, preferences, and dreams

➞ "Turning towards" your partner in daily moments of attempted connection is crucial - even small acknowledgments of your partner's comments or concerns build emotional bank accounts

➞ Taking a 20-minute "adult timeout" when emotionally flooded helps partners regulate and return to discussions more productively

➞ Having a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions helps maintain relationship health and emotional connection

➞ Creating shared meaning through rituals, goals, and activities (like reading the same books) strengthens the relationship's foundation



Memorable Quotes:

Rebecca Greene: "I think I have a secret decoder ring for marriage...and I think that the code is to really like your partner. We love them, we fell in love with them, we need to stay in love with them. But I like who Seth is."


Seth Greene: "I learned that all those times of us mentioning stuff during the day is us attempting to connect with each other, and if we respond, then we're putting deposits into our emotions."


How to Connect:


  • Website: https://www.whinypaluza.com/
  • Facebook Group: Whinypaluza Mom
  • Newsletter: https://whinypaluza.beehiiv.com/
  • Follow https://linktr.ee/whinypaluzamom

  • The episode provides practical relationship wisdom by combining research-based principles with real-life examples from Rebecca and Seth's marriage, giving listeners actionable insights for strengthening their own relationships.


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    The Whinypaluza PodcastBy Rebecca Greene

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