It feels good to have a friend, someone we can call, hang out with, and go to during difficult times.

Yet, it isn't easy to make friends in today’s environment. We hesitate when we contemplate taking actions that build friendship and directing such behaviors toward others. We worry that it will be awkward or that the person won’t really care about the gesture and will respond in kind.

This mismatch between our perception of how others act toward us and how we think others will perceive how we act toward them is created by our innate egocentricity. We get caught up in thinking about our thoughts; if we notice that we acted awkward during an interaction, we figure the other person noticed our awkwardness too. We struggle to step through our feelings to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes; if doing something doesn’t give us a sense of surprise, we can’t imagine the positive surprise it will create in someone else.

Reams of studies have been done on the human failure to read other people’s minds accurately. But our common weakness in perspective-taking is more than just a psychological curiosity. It affects our social life, demotivating us from doing the things that will help us develop richer and more positive connections with friends, family, and even strangers.

In today’s podcast, I will discuss nine research-established mental perceptions to be aware of. Understanding them will help you be more proactive and confident in social interactions, and keep in mind these important and overlooked truths: talking with others will go better than you think; people are less critical of you than you suppose; folks appreciate affirmation far more than you know.

**Brett & Kate McKay published an article on January 24, 2023, on ArtofManliness.com titled, “9 Mental Distortions That Are Sabotaging Your Social Life.” This was such a phenomenal article. I have used it for this podcast and added my thoughts.

QUOTES BY DR. BRAY “People usually like you more than you think they do!” “Tell people how much you appreciate them, even the small things.”