Joe Pyfer got food poisoning — or maybe it was altitude sickness — and now he’s, like, furious. He had to call off his fight with Kelvin Gastelum because his tum-tum hurt, and he’s pissed that he slept in a tent on the floor for nothing. In a tent! On the floor! Obviously, this is Mexico’s fault. It’s a shithole, Joe Pyfer says. Joe Pyfer is never going back to Mexico. Mexico can suck Joe Pyfer’s balls. Literally.

Hey, you know who didn’t call off her fight because she had the tummy troubles? Loopy Godinez. Loopy Godinez just went out there and defeated Julia Polastri and diarrhea all in one night— and she didn’t even tell any nations of 130 million people to suck her balls. Though she did tell her corner that she had to poop. God, what a stupid sport.

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