Hole in My Heart Podcast

Episode 92 Take Two: Broken + Beloved Pastors with Johnny and Amanda McKenna


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Guys! We’re back with this highly requested conversation with our REAL LIFE FRIENDS Johnny and Amanda.
What happens when a pastor suffers addiction in silence?
What happens when he has an affair?
What happens when health problems keep a couple from having sex?
Is there hope for marriages that go through these things?
Johnny and Amanda are here to say YES! God is a God of redemption and their story is beautiful proof. It’s worth the listen.
I Highlights I
“I constantly felt like I didn’t measure up. Pornography was an escape from that feeling for me. ‘Finally, I don’t have to feel that just for that moment.’ But after that moment is over . . . now I’m right where I started, and in an even worse spot.”
–Johnny McKenna
“We could not have sex for two years of our marriage. I was so ashamed. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, what was wrong with my body. I didn’t understand it. It’s so hard and embarrassing to talk about with people . . . I felt so helpless.”
–Amanda McKenna
“All this is going on and I’m saying to myself … ‘You’re such a scumbag … It’s time to take my life … I’ll be gone, but my legacy will be in tact. I won’t be this pastor that is another Hall of Shame member. I won’t have to tell my boys that I failed them–that I cheated on their mom. I won’t have to tell my youth group kids and leaders. I can at least provide for them financially. They’ll be in a better place because I have life insurance.’ I thought that was the best case scenario. Those were the lies Satan was whispering in my ear.”
–Johnny Mckenna
”One of the things [my friend] said was, ‘Amanda, God is saving your husband right now.’ It shocked me. ‘What do you mean He’s saving us? It feels like He’s killing us.’ But then that meaning sunk in: Johnny was living bound and held captive by his sin. But now, God was in the process of saving him. …That’s really beautiful if you think about it: God steps into the mess and he fights for you.”
–Amanda McKenna
I Do the Next Thing I
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