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The ELQE crew contemplates their survival on a deserted island. Kevin has a very specific fantasy involving Bear Grylls and his survival knife. Colleen needs some strong wood to fuel her fire if you know what we mean. Producer Carlos plans to be the best chef on this deserted island. Intern Renee needs all the underwear she can get.  

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The ELQE crew remembers the hottest teachers from their formative years.
Kevin gave his 2nd grade teacher a Vietnam PTSD flashback.
Colleen never got into a real schoolyard fight and thats why she beats up Carlos.
Intern Renne will fight both her sisters on PPV in the first ever ELQE UFC Fight Night.
Producer Carlos had a pornstar teaching AP Biology and a coach talking about hentai.

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The ELQE crew talks about giving up substances and behaviors. 
Kevin lives up to his hipster roots and claims he could give up anything...except music.
Colleen takes her coffee seriously, you should buy her an iced black americano with 6 shots. Producer Carlos needs caffeine soo much that he's already had a redbull induced heart attack.
Intern Renee thinks she could take heroin and be fine after.

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The ELQE crew discusses unreal work situations. Kevin crushes his job interviews with one line. Colleen proves that any word can be a verb. Producer Carlos is just a jolly trolly man making wishes come true. Intern Renee continues to be plagued by paranormal activities... are her fears really irrational? 

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The ELQE crew talks about first crushes. Kevin was inspired to be a writer by the first pretty blonde that talked to him. Colleen announces her new dating show that is totally not a copy of The Bachelorette. Intern Renee reminds us to swipe left on the super attractive men on Tinder. Producer Carlos  just wants to berate handsome men on national television.

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The ELQE crew celebrates President's Day by ranking the hotness of our founding fathers. 
Kevin ignores the prompt and instead ranks them based on which one he would marry. Colleen says she needs a big boy like Ulysses S. Grant to keep her warm at night. Intern Renee says f**k Andrew Jackson and his ugly face. Producer Carlos respects a man with a skin care routine like Alexander Hamilton.

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The ELQE crew is feeling the love this Valentine's Day as they discuss the songs they want played at their weddings. Kevin is gonna take a page out of Adam Sandlers book. Colleen will finally become a mob wife with her 60's style wedding. Intern Renee is likely to start making out with her groom mid ceremony. Producer Carlos steals the crown of King of Chaos away from Kevin.

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The ELQE Crew cannot stand thick, viscous liquids. Kevin dreams of being a snail. Colleen has an aversion to just about every texture known to man. Producer Carlos is THE egg slut. Intern Renee suspiciously knows too much about Limp Bizkit. 

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The ELQE crew talks about their favorite smells and their plans for the upcoming zombie apocalypse.
Kevin wonders about the relationship between being brestfed as a kid and love of pancakes as an adult.
Colleen would start a cult while stepping on men with her platform boots.
Intern Renee takes the easy way out and unalives herself at the first sign of trouble.
Producer Carlos hopes this whole thing will just blow over like in Shaun of the Dead.

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The ELQE crew reminisces about Tumblr’s golden era and discusses unconventional hotties with returning guests Michelle and Pilar. Making out, dry humping, and mole licking. Pick your poison.

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