The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, David Walker and Nick Miller field January's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, where the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.
Among the selections are the need to explain dramatic football moments to nearby people who don't care, the provocative scourge of Combined XIs, the functional pointlessness of centre circles, and the underreported confusion of "Last 5 Matches" form graphics.
Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel assess the aftermath of the unprecedented live "sex noises" scenes on the BBC's FA Cup coverage.

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FA Cup sex noises, combined XIs and the elegant pointlessness of centre circles

Welcome to the back catalogue of Adam Hurrey's Football Cliches podcast exploring the glorious and unique language of football: the words, the phrases, the mannerisms and, above all, the clichés.
Find the new podcast feed by searching for 'Football Cliches' wherever you usually listen, or by following this link: https://lnk.to/kdWOMyTA

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After three years and 262 glorious episodes for The Athletic, the Football Clichés podcast is moving to a new home.
The back catalogue will stay right here for you to revisit but Adam, Charlie and David’s exploration of the language of football (and beyond) will continue here: https://lnk.to/kdWOMyTA
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Football Clichés has moved! Here’s where to find us…

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and - in his final appearance - David Walker for the closing Adjudication Panel of the season. On the agenda: the Premier League's "Pure Referee's Name XI", a deep data dive on footballers' appearances on celebrity TV shows, the criteria for "waltzing through" a defence, a textbook end-of-season rallying cry from Sean Dyche and Richard Keys' Premier League predictions revisited.
Meanwhile, the panel decide who is and isn't allowed to be included in the "spine" of a team and enjoy David's best bits from his three years of the Clichés pod.
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The end of an era

The Football Clichés Quiz returns for its eighth edition, and the stakes have been raised for defending champion Michael Cox as his challenger this time is none other than Adam Hurrey himself, with past-winner Charlie Eccleshare stepping into the quizmaster's chair.
Cox and Hurrey duke it out over another five rounds of niche footballing knowledge, including the Keys & Gray round, guessing the price of video calls with retired footballers on Cameo, mid-00s world cup squad battles and much more.
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The Football Clichés Quiz VIII

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: What type of goal is the most "still had work to do" goal possible, the No 1 religious reference to deploy during a live TV commentary, the greatest recorded example of something other than a goal being "cheered like a goal", ambient household noise and the "Phantom Drury Effect", and the lowest-profile footballer who could end up on a celebrity reality TV show.
Meanwhile, the panel examine a US term for a goalkeeper spilling a low cross in their own six-yard box, while Charlie's Premier League Years memory skills go beyond parody.
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Crosses left on the doorstep, egg all over his shirt & the Phantom Drury Effect

The Athletic's Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for a midweek edition of the Adjudication Panel. On the agenda: some tense Serie A small talk with an Italian, the Russian football equivalent of being “on the beach”, the concept of being "the first name on the teamsheet", whether a goalkeeper can ever be "on fire" and some football-inspired language from the wider world.
Meanwhile, the panel ponder why some footballing acts are said to be out of the “top drawer” and look back at Howard Webb's bid for VAR transparency on Sky's Monday Night Football.
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FA Cup sex noises, combined XIs and the elegant pointlessness of centre circles

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