Family Brand: Take Back Your Family

TRIGGER WARNING: Today we have an honest conversation about mental health and addiction. If this topic hits a little too close to home or if you are in the middle of feeling loss we invite you to listen to one of our previous episodes and come back to this one when you are ready.

Hey guys, Chris here! As you know, 2020 was a year of highs and lows. When things were good they were good, when they were bad it seemed like rock bottom.

For many people around the world the pandemic felt like nothing new. They were used to wearing a metaphorical mask and staying inside away from loved ones just to survive. These people are experiencing the real health crisis.

The mental health crisis.

If you have listened to our show in the past, you know that I am not a stranger to loss. I have experienced first hand how serious this crisis is, when both my brothers and oldest nephew passed away from addiction and untreated mental health.

I know my story is not unique. I am certain that If we all got into a room and started talking, every single one of us would have a story of how addiction, suicide, or mental health illness has affected a loved one or even ourselves.

f this is true, then I have to ask the question - why are these topics still so taboo and how do we break the stigma?

Today is just me on the show. Melissa has been encouraging me for a while now to have an honest conversation about my experiences, the lessons, and mistakes in trying to help family members and friends who struggle with anxiety, depression, and addiction.

My hope is that we can break the stigma around these topics and that this episode gives you the tools and language you need to help others and yourself when the dark clouds start rolling in.

Always in your corner,

-

Chris

Website:

• familybrand.com

Social:

• Facebook: www.facebook.com/FamilyBrandOfficial
• Instagram: www.instagram.com/ourfamilybrand
• YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCGu-7odB6gkPbyXpUIQLkrg
• Twitter: twitter.com/OurFamilyBrand

Free course:

• familybrand.com/10steps

Episode Minute By Minute:

• 0:48 The theme of today's episode
• 2:50 How Chris has experienced loss
• 3:26 Anxiety and depression can affect anyone
• 4:36 The biggest lesson Chris and learned on this topic
• 5:45 What people who are struggling need the most
• 10:48 Asking for help is one of the most courageous things you can do
• 15:08 What is someone's last thought?
• 18:35 Assure your loved ones that they are not a burden

As the stack of moving boxes have gotten smaller and life in Hawaii starts to settle down, the energy in our house is beginning to ramp up. Not the fun kind of energy either. We've noticed that the kids are more competitive, quick to fight, and more irritable.

When we took a step back to see what was going on, we realized that we weren't listening to our own advice.

If you have listened to the podcast or been around Family Brand for a while you know that we have a high value for being intentional about quality time. Whether that is with each other or with each of our kids, one-on-one time is important to us.

When we lived in Arizona we made sure to have a weekly "check-in" with our kids, we'd talk with each one individually, setting goals, and asking how we could support them, each week. This tradition was one of the things we lost during the move.

We are committed to getting back in the swing of things and added this tradition back into our family routine. We believe that bringing this back will bring more harmony in our family because when everyone feels seen, heard, made priority things seem to fall into place.

Today we'll be talking about the simple steps we take to create powerful one on one time with our kids.

Learn the two specific questions we ask to connect and support our children each week, how we balance one on one time with the kids and simultaneously keeping our marriage a priority.

We think (and hope!) implementing it back into our lives will work to have things run a little more smoothly this week! Try this process with us as we jump back in and let's hold each other accountable! Share your successes, hiccups, and questions on Instagram, and watch our families change together. @ourfamilybrand

LINKS:

• "Nine Lies About..." Workbook
• Family Meal Time - Article
• Good, Better, Best - Article

Website:

• familybrand.com

Social:

• Facebook: www.facebook.com/FamilyBrandOfficial
• Instagram: www.instagram.com/ourfamilybrand
• YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCGu-7odB6gkPbyXpUIQLkrg
• Twitter: twitter.com/OurFamilyBrand

Free course:

• familybrand.com/10steps

Episode Minute By Minute:

• 0:41 Rooster warning!
• 1:03 A new family project we are working on
• 4:24 Creating one-on-one check-ins with your kids
• 6:28 What this process looks like practically
• 10:39 The tooth burst analogy
• 15:01 An easy tip to fit in quality time with each kid
• 16:33 Good, better, best time to hand out
• 20:00 The benefits of family mealtime
• 22:36 Make date night a priority
• 23:49 Modeling a healthy marriage for your kids
• 24:40 Quality time doesn't have to be extravagant
• 28:40 Birthday trips
• 31:23 Let's do this together!

If we were to take inventory of all the changes that have occurred in our family over the last year it would probably make the average person's head spin. We moved to Hawaii, got a new house, the kids are in new schools, the list goes on and on. Oh yeah... all of that during a global pandemic.

If you feel stressed just reading that last paragraph, you are not alone. However, we are not naive enough to think that we have a monopoly in the "overwhelm" department.

Recently, we asked a list of families the question 'what do you feel like is the biggest challenge facing families today?' looking at our own life, we weren't too surprised when a large majority responded with similar answers.

Most families said that things are too busy and loud right now that the feeling of overwhelm is easy to give into. We get it. We are not immune to stress or overwhelm, there were times we didn't know how we were going to handle things this year.

That is why today we want to share three key ways we have found to keep your marriage and kids calmer, kinder, and "overwhelm" free.

Listen in as we go in-depth with these three concepts and gain the wisdom you need to implement them in your house and family today!

Here's what we cover:

• The 3 ways you can overcome stress
• Tips for how to trust your intuition
• A real-life example of how prayer works
• Managing distance learning and homeschooling
• What we do to stay centered
• Why every family member should have self-trust
• The difference between mindfulness, meditation, and manifesting
• Learning how to live in the present
• How stress can infect every area of our lives
• One thing you can do every day that will defeat overwhelm
• And much more!

LINKS:

• familybrand.com/blog
• Brene Brown Book
• Ziva Meditation: zivameditation.com

Website:

• familybrand.com

Social:

• Facebook: www.facebook.com/FamilyBrandOfficial
• Instagram: www.instagram.com/ourfamilybrand
• YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCGu-7odB6gkPbyXpUIQLkrg
• Twitter: twitter.com/OurFamilyBrand

Free course:

• familybrand.com/10steps

Episode Minute By Minute:

• 0:44 Welcome back! Here is what to expect today.
• 1:23 The question of the day
• 3:16 Our tips on fighting the feeling of overwhelm
• 4:30 3 ways to be still
• 4:41 An example of the power of prayer
• 10:40 One of the lies we tell ourselves
• 13:41 Using meditation to calm your mind
• 18:19 Stress is making you stupid
• 19:46 Get outside, feel better!
• 26:47 You don't have time to not take a break
• 27:55 Take action on something this week

2021 already has mixed reviews depending on who you ask. It's true, the world is loud right now and unfortunately, a lot of the noise is negative.

Despite the noise, we want to assure you that it is absolutely possible to raise a family today without fear of the future. Today we want to encourage you to stop looking at the future through the lens of fear and uncertainty but instead through the lens of possibility.

If you want more in your family this year...more love, more joy, more connection, more creation, more *fill in the blank* for your family, it all starts with intentionality, effort, and vision.

Learn the three ways we are intentionally raising our children and building our family without fear of the future while still working towards our big vision.

We encourage you to share this episode with your spouse or listen together! Take these strategies and apply them to your own family and see what can happen.

LINKS:

• familybrand.com/blog
• The Compound Effect Book
• Mentioned Podcast Episode

Website:

• familybrand.com

Social:

• Facebook: www.facebook.com/FamilyBrandOfficial
• Instagram: www.instagram.com/ourfamilybrand
• YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCGu-7odB6gkPbyXpUIQLkrg
• Twitter: twitter.com/OurFamilyBrand

Free course:

• familybrand.com/10steps

Episode Minute By Minute:

• 0:42 What to expect today
• 1:36 One thing you can do in times of uncertainty
• 3:00 Are you manning your post?
• 5:55 The story behind the podcast bio
• 7:16 The power of having a common language
• 10:21 Your kids are looking at you now more than ever
• 14:06 The power of creation
• 18:47 Create more than you consume
• 22:20 Practical preparation
• 26:00 How Chris stopped living from paycheck to paycheck
• 32:20 The #1 complaint Chris hears around budgeting
• 35:42 Don't play the blame game

They say two of the hardest and greatest things you can do in life is to find your purpose, and become a parent. In this episode, Chris plays the role of the interviewer as we take a deeper look into Melissa's story as she continues to explore and navigate both.

Only a few years ago you could find Melissa working as a nurse and learning the ropes of this new adventure called motherhood.

Listen in to hear Melissa's incredible journey of stepping away from her medical career, to finding a passion in real estate, and successfully pursuing her dreams while simultaneously being an awesome wife and mother, and all the doubts and "mom guilt" in between.

If you want to make 2021 the year you finally take the next step, start building your dreams and kick "mom guilt" (or dad) for good, this episode is for you!

More Of What We Talk About:

• How Melissa knew it was time to step away from her job
• Being bold enough to learn something new
• How to create your "and"
• The three biggest lessons Melissa has learned on this journey
• Why Family Brand is the scariest thing Melissa has ever done
• Chris's advice for those supporting their spouse
• How Melissa overcame mom guilt
• Your dreams still matter
• Advice for gaining the confidence to pursue your dreams
• The question that changed Melissa's life
• And much more!

LINKS:

• familybrand.com/blog
• The Compound Effect Book
• Mentioned Podcast Episode

Website:

• familybrand.com

Social:

• Facebook: www.facebook.com/FamilyBrandOfficial
• Instagram: www.instagram.com/ourfamilybrand
• YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCGu-7odB6gkPbyXpUIQLkrg
• Twitter: twitter.com/OurFamilyBrand

Free course:

• familybrand.com/10steps

Episode Minute By Minute:

• 0:42 Conversation starts
• 0:55 What do expect today
• 3:35 Context for Melissa's story
• 3:54 Melissa's story
• 5:50 When Melissa left her career
• 7:10 How Melissa got into real estate
• 11:33 The question that changed it all
• 16:29 Creating an "and"
• 19:10 Always be dreaming for yourself
• 20:57 Q&A
• 24:51 Melissa's best advice for parents pursuing their dreams
• 27:41 Just keep going

There are defining moments in our lives where we have the opportunity to decide how we will show up and who we are going to be. In these moments we can recognize that we are the authors of our story. We have the opportunity to "pick up the pen" and write our own version of what our life will become.

Chris shares more about his personal Mantra of "Pick up the Pen" and how it continues to guide his life, and how it can help guide yours.

LINKS:

• familybrand.com/blog
• The Compound Effect Book

Website:

• familybrand.com

Social:

• Facebook: www.facebook.com/FamilyBrandOfficial
• Instagram: www.instagram.com/ourfamilybrand YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCGu-7odB6gkPbyXpUIQLkrg
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/OurFamilyBrand

Free course:

• familybrand.com/10steps

QUICK EPISODE SUMMARY

• What to expect today
• What "pick up the pen" means
• When Chris tried to sabotage their marriage
• When Chris saw what "purpose" looks like
• The book that helped Chris find his calling
• The importance of investing in yourself
• When Chris turned down a once in a lifetime opportunity to start his dream company
• Some times you have to create new stories to rewrite new ones
• Chris' advice for those who don't know their purpose
• You really are the author of your story

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! Or now that we're living in Hawaii, Mele Kalikimaka me ka Hau'oli Makahiki Hou! Listen in as we share our best ways to close out 2020 (what a year!) and ring in 2021. Set your standard New Year's Eve plans aside, and join us in trying something different this year!

This powerful exercise has the ability to make this year, your family's best year yet! If you love this idea as much as we do, we invite you to share this episode with a friend so you can do it together.

LINKS:

• familybrand.com/blog

Website:

• familybrand.com

Social:

• Facebook: www.facebook.com/FamilyBrandOfficial
• Instagram: www.instagram.com/ourfamilybrand YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCGu-7odB6gkPbyXpUIQLkrg
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/OurFamilyBrand

Free course:

• familybrand.com/10steps

QUICK EPISODE SUMMARY

• Thank you for getting us on the charts!
• How the Smiths end the year
• Disclaimer: Roosters
• Connecting the dots of 2020
• The only way around it is through it
• What gave Melissa the idea for this exercise
• What should your family "word" be for this year?
• Using "kindness cash" in your family
• Picking a family MVP
• Giving awards based off the greatness of who your kids are
• Practical steps to creating a family vision board

How to create a magical place for your family regardless of where you live, and how our journey of selling our home this week led to us having realizations about powerful lessons our home has taught us without us knowing it. We also share how we said goodbye to our home in a way that allowed us and each of our children to experience immense gratitude and closure as we move on to the next chapter of our journey together as a family.

LINKS:

Mentioned Book: Mans Search For Meaning

Website:

• familybrand.com

Social:

• Facebook: www.facebook.com/FamilyBrandOfficial
• Instagram: www.instagram.com/ourfamilybrand YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCGu-7odB6gkPbyXpUIQLkrg
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/OurFamilyBrand

Free course:

• familybrand.com/10steps

QUICK EPISODE SUMMARY

• Dear Home
• Writing letters to your home
• Melissa letter
• What Chris and Mellisa's 11-year-old son wrote to their house
• The house has very little to do with making a home
• What's possible when people dream
• The lesson Chris and Melissa learned in their old house
• Dreaming together
• The best is yet to come
• What are your new home traditions?

The foundation of EVERYTHING we love to talk about lies in this episode! Do you ever feel like your family is being pulled in every direction? How do you make sure that you're not?

In this episode, we discuss how to get CLEAR on what's most important to your family, how to trust your intuition to make decisions that are best for your family, and what it takes to believe that you are on the right path four your family.

Website:

• familybrand.com

Social:

• Facebook: www.facebook.com/FamilyBrandOfficial
• Instagram: www.instagram.com/ourfamilybrand YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCGu-7odB6gkPbyXpUIQLkrg
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/OurFamilyBrand

Free course:

• familybrand.com/10steps

QUICK EPISODE SUMMARY

• What are you outsourcing in your family?
• The importance of clarity
• What keeps you from clarity
• Trusting your intuition
• You are the expert about your family
• Trust yourself
• Create space for your kids to get clarity
• When people don't agree with your choices
• Being 100% responsible

Ponder this: "The more children know about their family's history, the stronger their sense of control over their lives, the higher their self-esteem, and the more successful they believe their family functions"-Bruce Feiler

In this episode, we talk about how simple it can be to learn about your family's history, and why it's so important for your family. Also how the past can hold a lot of clues to what it is your family stands for today, and how a discovery Chris made about his great great great grandfather changed the trajectory of his life.

LINKS:

Article referenced: www.nytimes.com/2013/03/17/fashion/the-family-stories-that-bind-us-this-life.html

Mentioned Sites:

• www.ancestry.com
• www.familysearch.org

Website:

• familybrand.com

Social:

• Facebook: www.facebook.com/FamilyBrandOfficial
• Instagram: www.instagram.com/ourfamilybrand YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCGu-7odB6gkPbyXpUIQLkrg
• Twitter: https://twitter.com/OurFamilyBrand

Free course:

• familybrand.com/10steps

QUICK EPISODE SUMMARY

• Where do we come from?
• When Chris learned about his bloodline
• The stories that bind us
• The three narratives your family should have
• Practical ways to teach your kids about their roots
• How knowing your roots keeps you grounded
• Resources for family research