back from the borderline

family scapegoating abuse part 1: the black sheep


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In this episode, we begin an intense 3-part exploration of the “scapegoat” or “black sheep” role within dysfunctional family systems. Often misunderstood, family scapegoating assigns innocent children or adolescents the emotional burden of unresolved trauma, a pattern that can devastate self-worth and echo throughout adult life. Join me as we unpack the origins of scapegoating abuse, trace its psychological impact, and dive into real-life examples—from literary archetypes like Hester Prynne to my own story. This series is about more than awareness; it’s about empowering listeners to break free from toxic narratives. Together, we’ll uncover the hidden scars left by scapegoating and provide tools to help you reclaim your voice and reshape your identity on your terms. In Part 1, gain foundational insights into the scapegoat role and its far-reaching effects on identity, self-worth, and resilience. This episode lays the groundwork for deeper healing and transformation—beginning with awareness and the courage to confront our hidden wounds.


Part 1 – Understanding the Scapegoat Role in Dysfunctional Families:


  • 00:00 – 09:21 | Overview of family roles in dysfunctional systems
  • 09:21 – 16:47 | Scapegoat archetypes in literature: Hester Prynne from The Scarlet Letter
  • 16:47 – 21:36 | How toxic families select a child as the scapegoat
  • 21:36 – 26:35 | My personal experience as the family scapegoat
  • 26:35 – 32:55 | Key signs that you may be the scapegoat in your family
  • 32:55 – 38:28 | The multigenerational cycle of family scapegoating abuse (FSA)
  • 38:28 – 41:58 | Recognizing scapegoating abuse for what it truly is
  • 41:58 – 44:36 | Deep emotional wounds caused by scapegoating
  • 44:36 – 48:11 | Why scapegoating abuse often goes unrecognized
  • 48:11 – 54:30 | The dehumanizing effects of scapegoating on children
  • 54:30 – 01:05:21 | The scapegoat’s role in narcissistic family dynamics
  • 01:05:21 – 01:11:16 | Toxic family narratives and distorted storytelling
  • 01:11:15 – 01:15:19 | Physical, psychological, and emotional tolls of scapegoating


Premium Segment: Navigating Ghosting in Relationships:


  • 01:15:19 – 01:41:03 | Listener voicemail from Austin + reflections on ghosting
  • 01:41:03 – 01:46:22 | What research reveals about the ghosting phenomenon
  • 01:46:22 – 02:11:00 | The “anti-ghosting” trend on TikTok and strategies for compassionate relationship endings


Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.


The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional.

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back from the borderlineBy mollie adler

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