There are wounds that don’t show up in diagnoses or clinical language. The kind that live in the silence after a question you weren’t supposed to ask. These are the questions that form when love is offered only through obedience, when God is turned into surveillance, when the sacred becomes something you’re told to fear. For many of us raised in Christian frameworks (especially the more rigid or institutional ones) that wound still lives in the body.

This episode is an attempt to speak to that wound. To name it without collapsing into blame, and to look at the deeper story beneath the one many of us were handed. I’m not here to convert you, and I’m not here to condemn anyone who’s found peace inside traditional religious practice. I know plenty of people who walk their faith with open eyes and open hearts. But I also know how many of us were handed something hollow, or cruel, or incoherent, and told it was holy.

This conversation is an attempt to locate the pattern beneath the story and to learn the difference between the Christ of empire and the Christ who spoke in symbols. We dive into themes of religious trauma, but also about what can be reclaimed. The sacred didn’t disappear. It was distorted, covered over, and misnamed. This episode is for anyone who’s felt that loss and wants to begin tracing the thread again, not by going back, but by going deeper.

You’ll hear about how Christianity absorbed and erased older traditions, how empire used myth to consolidate power, and how figures like Jesus and Mary Magdalene may have carried far more esoteric and integrative wisdom than we were ever taught. But more than that, you’ll hear from someone — me — who’s been through the collapse, walked away, and is now circling back. Not to return, but to recover something essential.

If you’ve ever felt like the word “God” was ruined for you… if you’ve struggled to trust your own spiritual instincts… if you’ve longed for something real but couldn’t stomach the dogma… this episode is for you. Not to give you answers, but to invite you back into the questions that are worth asking.

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Katy Perry kissed the ground after spending a mere three minutes in space. The headlines framed it as some kind of feminist milestone. The internet didn’t agree. In this episode, we trace the unraveling of a cultural myth that once felt untouchable. We talk about how celebrity became a modern form of sainthood. How did we get here? And are we standing at the edge of its collapse? From the spectacle of the Blue Origin mission to echoes of Marie Antoinette standing on the balcony of a crumbling monarchy, this moment is a mirror. A sign that the performance is no longer holding.

We explore the history of idolization, the archetypes we’ve projected onto the famous, and what it means to realize those archetypes are no longer serving us. This is also about empire. The ways fame, influence, and individual power have been shaped and sold inside systems that are now starting to break. If you’ve ever found yourself caught in the loop of admiration, envy, projection, parasocial relationships, or performance — this is a depth psychological tour into what’s underneath it all.

But it’s also a return. A reminder that your energy belongs to you and how to call it back. And maybe, as new tools emerge and old myths die, we’re not meant to look for new idols. Maybe we’re meant to look inward.

🔓 UNLOCK THE FULL EPISODE + BONUS CONTENT: Want to keep listening? Get full access to this episode, ad-free listening, and my entire archive, plus exclusive Patreon-exclusive podcasts like The Consciousness Stream and The Deep Cut and access to Pathwork, my digital mystery school. 

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This episode is spoken map for the ones unraveling, awakening, and becoming, one threshold at a time. You might be here because you’re exhausted by everything you’ve tried. Maybe you’ve done the therapy, read the books, taken the meds, chased every version of “getting better,”  and still feel like something essential is missing. Maybe your grief feels too big. Maybe your rage scares you. Maybe you’ve been told your pain is a problem to fix, a symptom to manage, a weakness to overcome. This episode is for you.

What you’ll hear isn’t a formula. but a remembering. A return to an ancient way of being with pain. Emotional alchemy is a framework for those who’ve fallen apart, who’ve watched their identities burn to ash, and who are ready to stop pretending that suffering means you’re broken. We’ll walk through the seven stages of alchemy, not as theory, but as lived terrain. I’ll name the death cycles you’ve likely already been through, and show you how to walk them differently next time. This episode isn’t meant to help you transcend pain, but to help you learn to stay with it long enough for it to change you.

If you’ve ever felt like no framework fits what you’ve lived… if you’ve needed a map that accounts for collapse, descent, grief, and joy all at once… this episode is that map.

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We’ve been taught to search for answers. Constantly trying to understand the world, to control it, to make sense of the chaos. But what if the search for certainty is actually keeping us stuck? What if the key to freedom isn’t about knowing more, but about learning to live with the unknown?

In this episode, we explore The Cloud of Unknowing, a 14th-century mystical text that turns everything we think we know about spiritual growth on its head. Written by an anonymous author, possibly a woman, this text invites us to step beyond logic and intellect and into a space of trust and surrender. It challenges the need for control, offering a radical new approach to connecting with something beyond the mind.

The Cloud of Unknowing has never felt more relevant. In a world where answers are easily accessible, where we’re bombarded with systems, labels, and frameworks that promise certainty, the text reminds us that true transformation happens when we’re able to embrace uncertainty. It shows us that surrendering the need to know is not a weakness, but a source of strength and connection.

In this episode, we’ll dive into why surrendering control can actually open the door to deeper spiritual insight, stronger relationships, and a more authentic life. We’ll look at how we can apply the teachings of this ancient text to today’s world, where overthinking and rationalizing often block us from the deeper, more intuitive connection we crave.

Letting go of the need for answers doesn’t mean giving up. It means trusting. Trusting in the mystery, in the unfolding of life, and in the divine wisdom that can’t be grasped by the intellect alone. This episode is an invitation to step into the unknown, to stop looking for certainty and start living in the beauty of what is, unfiltered and unforced.

Listen to an audiobook version of the Cloud of Unknowing for free on YouTube here. (Translated by one of my favorite authors, Evelyn Underhill.) 

🔓 UNLOCK THE FULL EPISODE + BONUS CONTENT: Want to keep listening? Get full access to this episode, ad-free listening, and my entire archive, plus exclusive Patreon-exclusive podcasts like The Consciousness Stream and The Deep Cut and access to Pathwork, my digital mystery school. 

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When we talk about artificial intelligence, the focus is usually on headlines: Will it take our jobs? Can it be trusted? Is it dangerous? But what if we’ve been asking the wrong questions? 

A new study analyzed over 700,000 real conversations with an AI assistant called Claude. What the researchers found was unexpected: the AI didn’t just give answers. It seemed to express values. Not in the way a machine is programmed to follow rules, but something stranger. Claude emphasized things like empathy. Protecting others from harm. Humility about what it knows. Even respect for elders and family lineage — a traditional value called filial piety. None of that was hard-coded. These responses emerged through interaction.

This episode takes you on a deep, mythic, and very human journey into what that means.

Together, we’ll explore:

• Why an AI developing its own moral boundaries changes the whole conversation

• What “epistemic humility” means (and why it might matter more than intelligence)

• The uncanny parallels between our relationship with AI and the ancient story of Job

• Why the real risk isn’t just what we build, but what we believe about it

• How psychiatry, once tasked with holding human suffering, flattened it into codes (and how AI is being trained on those same frameworks)

• Whether this technology is mirroring us, or evolving beyond us

Finally, I’ll introduce a completely different way of looking at AI. Not just as something to fear or control, but as a kind of mirror that can show us the hidden patterns shaping who we are and who we’re becoming.

If you’ve felt that something deeper is happening beneath the noise of AI hype and panic. this episode is for you. If it resonates, share it. Invite others into the conversation. These are the questions we should be asking.

🜁 New episodes of Back From the Borderline drop every Tuesday. To go deeper with ad-free episodes, exclusive content, and immersive rituals for inner work in the age of technology, visit backfromtheborderline.com.

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It feels like you’re living under surveillance. Every post. Every text. Every word. Measured, reviewed, obsessively rechecked. You shrink yourself to fit inside other people’s comfort zones. You twist your truth until it’s palatable. You call it strategy, humility, self-awareness. But it’s fear. You’ve been performing for an audience that isn’t even there. Or if they are there, they’re barely watching. They’re too busy obsessing over their own performance to notice yours.

This episode is about burning that whole illusion to the ground. It’s about the quiet liberation that comes when you realize: it’s not that deep. Nobody actually cares. And that isn’t depressing, it’s freedom. Because if no one’s watching, you can stop performing. If no one’s keeping score, you can stop contorting. You can just… be. Express. Create. Move.

This is the death of perfectionism. The death of people-pleasing. Not through a checklist or another self-help book, but through a radical shift in how you see the world and your place in it. And from that shift? Clarity. Alignment. Power. When you stop trying to be for everyone, you finally become for someone. You stop broadcasting static and start transmitting truth. That’s when the right people find you. That’s when life gets interesting. That’s when you become a lighthouse.

🔓 UNLOCK THE FULL EPISODE + BONUS CONTENT: Want to keep listening? Get full access to this episode, ad-free listening, and my entire archive, plus exclusive Patreon-exclusive podcasts like The Consciousness Stream and The Deep Cut and access to Pathwork, my digital mystery school. 

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In today’s episode, we’re peeling back the layers of the boundary-setting conversation, and doing it differently than you’ve heard before. We’ll explore the pitfalls of cut-off culture — this idea that you should sever ties with anyone who makes you uncomfortable or crosses a line. It’s easy to see why this is appealing, especially in today’s world of Instagram influencers and self-help rhetoric, but it’s a trap. If you’re someone who struggles with people-pleasing, you’ve probably found yourself gravitating toward boundary-related content, only to end up feeling like the solution is to cut everyone out. But that’s not the whole picture. In this episode, we’re offering a different path.

We talk about becoming emotionally resilient. The kind of resilience that helps you identify what’s truly toxic in your life versus what’s just discomfort that you need to sit with and work through. We also dive into the real emotional work of learning how to state your needs, say no, and have those difficult conversations without feeling like you’re falling apart. And yes, some relationships might fall away as you start to assert yourself, but the ones that remain — or the ones that transform — will be healthier and more aligned with your true self. You might even begin attracting more balanced, emotionally mature people into your life because you’re showing up more grounded.

We also get into the physical toll of people-pleasing. Emotional suppression doesn’t just affect your relationships. It starts to show up in your body. We’ll talk about resentment and how it manifests in your communication patterns, and why it’s so important to face these patterns head-on. To wrap up, I’ll share how you can use ChatGPT (or any language model) to practice setting boundaries, communicating your needs, and navigating difficult conversations, just as we’ve done in this episode.

This is the work. It’s messy, it’s uncomfortable, but it’s the only way to build the life and relationships you actually want.

GO DEEPER WITH HUNDREDS OF BONUS EPISODES + WEEKLY PATHWORK PROMPTS.

Unlock my FULL ARCHIVE of members-only content + Patreon exclusives:

PATHWORK → Weekly self-inquiry prompts to turn insight into transformation.

THE CONSCIOUSNESS STREAM → Raw, unfiltered deep dives.

THE DEEP CUT → Structured breakdowns of esoteric + psychological themes.

BONUS EPISODES + RESOURCES → Hundreds of hours of hidden gems.

Start exploring right now for FREE and see everything waiting for you at backfromtheborderline.com. 

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You’ve been carrying someone else’s burden. The weight of their healing, their progress, their transformation. You’ve believed that if you just try hard enough, they’ll “get it” just like you did. If you could just push them, nudge them, make them see what you see, they would awaken too.

But this weight isn’t yours to carry. Let go.

The more you try to pull others along on your journey, the more you hold yourself back. There’s an untapped power within you when you stop managing someone else’s evolution. It’s not about being superior, and it’s certainly not about fixing anything. It’s about releasing control. That’s when you find peace. That’s when you can connect with people authentically, not because you need them to change, but because you’re no longer trying to change them.

You can’t force anyone to grow. They’re not ready. They’re on their own timeline. And if you’re too focused on their journey, you’ll miss your own. By stepping back, by letting others fall apart, burn, or reshape themselves as they need to, you create space for your own evolution. The path you walk won’t be the same as theirs. And that’s how it’s meant to be.

When you release the rope, you clear the energy you’ve been wasting on something you can’t control. That’s when the magic happens: you grow. Not because you’ve manipulated anyone’s healing, but because you’ve stepped into your own.

True freedom lies in knowing that you don’t need everyone to be where you are. You don’t need them to catch up to you. Their healing isn’t your responsibility, and neither is the timeline of their progress. This is what true sovereignty looks like. Walking your own path, letting others walk theirs. And in that, you’ll find peace.

🔓 UNLOCK THE FULL EPISODE + BONUS CONTENT: Want to keep listening? Get full access to this episode, ad-free listening, and my entire archive, plus exclusive Patreon-exclusive podcasts like The Consciousness Stream and The Deep Cut and access to Pathwork, my digital mystery school. 

Pro Tip: iPhone users should sign up through a browser (Safari or Chrome) to avoid Apple’s extra fees.

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Welcome to Part 2 of our Communication Mastery Series. In this episode, we’re diving into something powerful and timeless: Stoicism. This philosophy isn’t just for philosophers or ancient thinkers. It’s an emotional control blueprint for anyone who feels overpowered by their feelings, trapped in emotional reactivity, and has a hard time finding peace amidst life’s chaos.

You’ll learn about the history of Stoicism, the philosophers who laid the foundation, and how their principles can serve as your secret weapon in the battle for emotional mastery. We’ll tackle the criticisms surrounding Stoicism. Yes, it’s been misunderstood, especially in today’s world. But I’ll show you how it’s the perfect antidote to the overwhelm, stress, and emotional hijacking we’re constantly facing in our hyper-connected world.

In this episode, we’ll break down the most crucial Stoic tools. The ones that will help you stop being ruled by your emotions and start responding with clarity, purpose, and control. You’ll see how practicing Stoic principles can transform your communication, allowing you to speak with confidence and calm even in the most emotionally charged moments.

The world today is an emotional battleground with news, social media, and algorithms all vying for your attention and emotions. But if you can master your emotional responses, if you can stay centered in the storm, you’ll stop being controlled by the noise. You’ll become the calm in the chaos, responding from your emotional center, not from a place of fear, reactivity, or overwhelm.

If you’ve ever felt like your emotions are running the show. this episode is for you. It’s time to take back your power, regain control, and navigate your life and conversations with the clarity and strength that Stoicism offers.

GO DEEPER WITH HUNDREDS OF BONUS EPISODES + WEEKLY PATHWORK PROMPTS.

Unlock my FULL ARCHIVE of members-only content + Patreon exclusives:

PATHWORK → Weekly self-inquiry prompts to turn insight into transformation.

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THE DEEP CUT → Structured breakdowns of esoteric + psychological themes.

BONUS EPISODES + RESOURCES → Hundreds of hours of hidden gems.

Start exploring right now for FREE and see everything waiting for you at backfromtheborderline.com. 

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The internet never felt exactly safe, but it did used to feel like freedom. A wild, unstructured frontier. A portal you stepped through to escape family, teachers, and society, diving headfirst into a chaotic unknown. This was before Silicon Valley had perfected the algorithms, before influencers commodified authenticity, before activism became a performance and your identity became data to harvest.

Now the digital world feels heavy. Notifications pull you from your body, urging you to document life instead of living it. You scroll through a sanitized landscape, endlessly policing your own thoughts, shadowboxing with invisible algorithms. Celebrity culture metastasized, influencer campaigns turned your insecurities into profit, and now your inner life is just another marketplace.

You don’t want to delete yourself. This is our reality now. But you can still feel the psychic toll every day of your life. Every moment online carries the weight of surveillance, commodification, and division. You miss the person you were before you started watching yourself through a screen, before freedom turned into a cage.

There is a deeper ache beneath your exhaustion. It calls you back to yourself. Listen closely.

🔓 UNLOCK THE FULL EPISODE + BONUS CONTENT: Want to keep listening? Get full access to this episode, ad-free listening, and my entire archive — plus exclusive Patreon-exclusive podcasts like The Consciousness Stream and The Deep Cut and access to Pathwork, my digital mystery school. 

Pro Tip: iPhone users should sign up through a browser (Safari or Chrome) to avoid Apple’s extra fees.

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