Farm Wisdom

When Farmer Gray and his good friend Davis McClyde come across a swimming hole on a sweltering day, they do what any manly men would. They go skinny dipping.

Farmer Gray implores friends not to spring surprises when sharing wedding photos. Then he relates an encounter with a genie from a bottle, whose magic pales before the richness of Mississippi farm life.

In a blast from the past, the populace of Trouveau, Miss, uses country wiles to cure beatnik Murgatroyd Saint Sunshine of his pot addiction. Then old Farmer Gray recounts the night a bat challenged his useless cat Stalin to a turf war.

Farmer Gray hearkens back to his high school days, when Lester Gooseberry, the least popular boy in school, opened his heart to the prettiest girl on campus. Then he relates the story behind his adoption "Stalin," a peevish and contrary cat who isn't good for much.

Farmer Gray explains why it's fair that women earn only 80 percent of what men do and then relates the story of a bank robber who should've kept up with the news.

Farmer Gray muses on ugly babies, men vs. Roe vs. Wade, and an incident pregnant with embarrassment.

Haughty Ms. Libby Rall challenges humble, devout Sarah Palin to a camping contest in the Alaskan woods. Can you guess who bests who?

Wise old Farmer Gray hawks a product that should greatly benefit upwards of 0.0001 percent of the American public, then throws his hat in the ring for first selectman of Trouveau, Mississippi.

Farmer Gray relates how Savannah Lee, the newest member of Trouveau First Baptist, was discovered dancing the hootchie koo at a Memphis strip joint. That was bad enough, but when "Take Your Child to Work Day" came along, the young woman had to think fast to protect her 5-year-old son from the truth.

At a visit to the circus, Farmer Gray discovers that the old freak show ain't what it used to be. He also cooks up a plan to turn his farm into a summer camp: Farmer Gray's Funtime Freehold.