Fat Guy Loves Cake

Fat Guy Loves Cake

By Joey ValentineComedy
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Fat Guy Loves Cake episodes

  • 03/10/2023 Friday "Is that a women's medal of honor in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" episode #181

    Would you like an award for being a woman? Just tuck it in!; Catalytic converter theft leads to thief sandwiches aka a happy ending; Mexican drug cartel says "We're sorry! Some people just don't know how to act like nice responsible drug dealers!"; Yippie kay yay, senior citizen!; Kenfucky; An honest to Bob love ballad I wrote and composed. (Followed by lots of disturbing sex noises. HUP!)

    22 min
  • 03/03/2023 Friday "General hate" episode #179

    Woman goes Karen and gets a McAss-beating; You don't want to buy my car? I'll wizz on your driver's license; States ranked by their abundance of hate groups. Yay! Fun for the kids!


    Woman throws juice on McDonalds manager who is twice her size and gets the beat down she asked for [VIDEO] (msn.com)

    Car dealer relieves himself on woman's license after test drive (hip-hopvibe.com)

    Music: King Missile "Detachable penis"

    25 min
  • 02/17/2023 Friday "The beginning of a twisted friendship" episode #173

    In the little over a year of doing FGLC, this episode has been the most listened to, and what started off as a harmless game of gay chicken, turned into about a dozen songs of me professing my love for Lafayette and a proclivity for sticking it in his ass. Thanks to all the cats at Nerds Talking for indulging me and my warped sense of humor. (Lafayette, Carlos, and the infamous Johnny Butt Stuff)

    Verse 1

    So I heard you wanna start a battle with the fat man, tryin to make me look gay is the Nutso master plan

    Now tellin everybody bout my business ain't right, let me tell you bout a crazy dream I had last night

    I seen Nutso hangin out in the men's room stalls, workin on each one, slurp slurpin on some balls

    Twenty men deep had formed a long line, on his knees mouth open with a "enter here" sign

    Nuts runnin down his chin and onto his shirt. I heard Nutso say, "That's too big, it's gonna hurt!"

    Dirty motherfucker. Cock is all he seeks. Just ask him to bend over and he'll spread his butt cheeks.

    Verse 2

    I'm the kind of guy that has a lot of class, so I'll be real gentle when I stick it in your ass

    Smooth as silk, I ain't gonna be rough. All hail Nutso, the king of butt stuff.

    Ice on his asshole, he needs some time to rest. Nutso's gonna need a break if he's gonna suck his best

    Blisters on his tonsils from gobblin all those cocks, his sphincter's always open if a gay man knocks

    Smooth like whiskey but cheap like Fanta. He's emptied more sacks than a year round Santa

    Suck suck suckin on balls like Dracula, but it wasn't all that spectacular

    Verse 3

    Now why you wanna make me do all of this work, just stick to the Nerds Talking and the circle jerk

    See I'ma burn you down, leave you nerds in my wake. Just stick to the butt stuff, and me?

    I'll stick to the cake.


    27 min

About Fat Guy Loves Cake

From the publisher's feed

Hailed by People magazine in 2021 as "The best thing to come out of the pandemic", Texas born guttermouth Joey Valentine takes you on a thrice weekly comedic round up of pop culture, current events,…