Let's talk about the Cowboys and how they completely flush season after season down the terlet, making me look like an asshole in front of all my friends; More terrible shirts to show how unlikeable white people can be; Man burgles house. Man learns doggy style. German style.

National Guard General finds new way to spend your tax dollars; Tennessee police station becomes the best little whorehouse in Texas, er, Tennessee; Mel Gibson ousted from New Orleans parade: manages to say nice-ish things about Jews.

I talk about comic-con and would I be able to beat up everyone there; R. Kelly please don't pee on me; I want to make an 80's mutant end of the world movie and I have the soundtrack to prove my dedication.

You may not be a slut, but you wear a slut's costume; New year, old fat: my courageous uphill battle to buy Snickers bars; A no bullshit ghost story from my childhood. (even though ghosts aren't real)

Can you believe it?! Fat Guy Loves Cake has one million subscribers! Joey splits the atom! Wins Nobel peace prize for largest things stuck in his own ass! I bought a Maserati. I'm going to the moon! 

There was a time when Glamour Shots ruled the world. Do you remember? Your hair does; Jew and half men trailer; Facts about sex you probably didn't know.

I put together some interesting facts about Christmas for you guys' entertainment. The most interesting fact about this list, is that not once do I mention putting something in someone's ass. Merry Christmas!

*Coming Christmas day is the Die Hard episode! Don't miss it!

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As it often does, tragedy comes with comedy, and our time on this earth is unfortunately short and finite. We're almost through 2022, and I want to remind everyone that as much as I hate people in general for how awful they can be to each other, I do believe in what I say when I end my show with the words "Be nice". Make the most of every moment you have. Be thoughtful of others. Be considerate of someone you have never even met. Grab the people close to you and shake them and say "Do you have any idea how much I love you and how lucky I am to be a part of your life?!". 

We have to laugh or the reality of life will make us dead inside. I refuse to mourn the loss of those I love, but be thankful I was lucky enough to have known them.

Please. Be nice.

Cop serves shit sandwich, keeps job; No one ever told me Santa wasn't real; Trailer for "Santa's Hoes"; I absolutely fucking destroy all previous 80's bands with my own 80's music that I wrote, composed and performed; The long, awesome and weird life of Hulk Hogan

Music: It's the 80's, Night Run

Artist: Me. 

I interview Britney Griner, fresh off the plane and back on US soil; I discuss a man selling imaginary friends and souls on Amazon; Man sexually assaults tickle me Elmo doll (yes, seriously); Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield are selling gummi ears laced with pot; YouTuber with 14 MILLION subscribers mistakes Chinese man for being Japanese, doubles down and makes us proud to be American.

Music: Bell-Biv-DeJoe "Poison"