Feed Your Business with Love | Storytelling for Your Business

Heather Nieves is a Women's Empowerment Coach & Certified Yoga Teacher guiding women on a journey to self-acceptance through meditation & movement to embrace their bodies & show up #AUTHENTICAF in business. Married for 15 years with an almost 5-year-old living in SC for the past 8 months after just moving from SoCal where they lived for 3 years relocating from CT.

How do you escape when you know you need some "YOU" time? Heather dives deep into keeping yourself sane during this crazy time with your husband and kids at home all the time. 

There is an epidemic of self-hatred going on in our world right now and self-love is more important than ever to raise the vibration. Rebecca Campbell says it best, "when we heal ourselves we heal the world!"

Listen to the entire episode here!

Connect with Heather:

https://www.facebook.com/ILoveMeYoga https://www.facebook.com/groups/meditation4mamas/ Instagram.com/iamheathernieves HeatherNieves.com

 Here is Heather's breathe in love 5-day experience with yoga and meditation https://heathernieves.com/breatheinlove/

Want more from the Feed your Body with Love Movement Join our FREE Community https://www.facebook.com/groups/feedyourbodywithlove/ Learn More: feedyourbodywithlove.com

Heather Nieves is a Women's Empowerment Coach & Certified Yoga Teacher guiding women on a journey to self-acceptance through meditation & movement to embrace their bodies & show up #AUTHENTICAF in business. Married for 15 years with an almost 5-year-old living in SC for the past 8 months after just moving from SoCal where they lived for 3 years relocating from CT.

How do you escape when you know you need some "YOU" time? Heather dives deep into keeping yourself sane during this crazy time with your husband and kids at home all the time. 

There is an epidemic of self-hatred going on in our world right now and self-love is more important than ever to raise the vibration. Rebecca Campbell says it best, "when we heal ourselves we heal the world!"

Listen to the entire episode here!

Connect with Heather:

https://www.facebook.com/ILoveMeYoga

Want more from the Feed your Body with Love Movement

I would never know the true definition of what love looks like to me until I felt it myself. I Spent 21 years suicidal, I used to self-harm & loath myself. Today I’m remarried to my soul mate, I’m a life coach & a family dynamic coach. I teach Individuals (kids/teens/adults) how to love themselves & create the life they design.

I help families go from chaos to harmony with my program the In-Home TurnAround. Tips for handling this COVID-19 home changes Ways to create an inner calm so you can show up for your life, business, and family without losing your cool. How to take to your kids to empower them to want to grow and so much more.

Connect with Veenu www.veenuinspires.com https://www.facebook.com/veenuinspires https://www.instagram.com/veenuinspires/

WANT MORE FROM THE FEED YOUR BODY WITH LOVE COMMUNITY, The host Jennifer Dragonette, OR HAVE QUESTIONS? https://jdragonette.com/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/feedy... [email protected]

I would never know the true definition of what love looks like to me until I felt it myself. I Spent 21 years suicidal, I used to self-harm & loath myself. Today I’m remarried to my soul mate, I’m a life coach & a family dynamic coach. I teach Individuals (kids/teens/adults) how to love themselves & create the life they design.

I help families go from chaos to harmony with my program the In-Home TurnAround. Tips for handling this COVID-19 home changes Ways to create an inner calm so you can show up for your life, business, and family without losing your cool. How to take to your kids to empower them to want to grow and so much more.

Connect with Veenu www.veenuinspires.com https://www.facebook.com/veenuinspires https://www.instagram.com/veenuinspires/

WANT MORE FROM THE FEED YOUR BODY WITH LOVE COMMUNITY, The host Jennifer Dragonette, OR HAVE QUESTIONS? https://jdragonette.com/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/feedy... [email protected]

You're kind of part of the self-love movement right now. Where did that all start?

That's a great question. Where does the self of Journey start? It's really something I think that's been happening on our planet for thousands of years and now we're really coming to a big head. And so when you ask me where or myself love journey starts. I think it started from the moment I was born because as the second or born were constantly told what to do.

What we should do how we should act, what we should look like. And then, as media, especially mainstream you get has gotten so popular and social media as well, it's just kind of had that awareness even more for self-love, because we're just having being shoved in our face so much, to really the journey for all of us begins from the second that we come into this world.

Can you tell us a little bit about that and your back story?

Yeah, so it's really just like where you wanna start. So there are lots of things that I've been through with everyone has their own story and personal stories are so important. So you guys, no matter what your story is to get in the comparison of it, just keep showing up and sharing your story as well, because your story can help a lot of people, and I have lots of different aspects to my story. There's, of course, I was a very young mom, that went through a very abusive, not healthy relationship, and then it just kind of smiled from there, where I went into a little bit of a depression and things like that, but really works to pull myself out of it. By feeding myself, just lots and lots of self-love, I love that.

And when you say feeding yourself above what kind of things do you mean by that?

Well, I really like wine and cheese. There are the actual aspects of feeding ourselves, which for some reason it has been turned into the mass media and bull shit, and it's just another aspect of control and too not let you love yourself a really feeding myself and enjoying what And that's helpful, but beating myself a positive people around me and feeding myself with honestly, any time I have a negative thought or anything like that instead of just writing from it, I lean into it, which I guess would be a form of being myself, right, so I really just lead into it and I'm like, "Why am I thinking that Why do I feel that way and then just transiting that... And to love and I know it sounds so cheesy, but everything can be solved with love and compassion, I completely agree and that leaning in part is something I know a lot of people struggle with.

Do you have any suggestions on how to start leaning it, other than just leaning in?

A lot of times people will do this thing where they're going through a thought process it so you might get up and you might be like, "Oh my gosh, I hate butt". "I'm lazy that's why I hate my butt". "My dad told me I had a bad butt". And the cycle continues. 

Now tell the little girl, "Hey you're amazing and your butt is amazing too". And you just immediately reverse the cause of it, so what we tend to do, and even in the positivity where all this you'll hear people even say things like mantras can fix everything and they really can't. Because if I'm just sitting here saying I love myself, I love myself. That's pregnant awesome, but you're just kind of masking what's really there at the root cause.

You have to notice what you notice so notice what you notice and don't just dismiss it as bull shit. I really noticed why you're noticing. Once you discover the root causes and then you can switch it, and then you can use mantras or positive sayings and be like, Wow, that is amazing.

If you can look for the connections versus the consumption, that's what I am encouraging everyone to do is look for the connections versus the consumption. You can join Samantha in her community https://www.facebook.com/groups

You're kind of part of the self-love movement right now. Where did that all start?

That's a great question. Where does the self of Journey start? It's really something I think that's been happening on our planet for thousands of years and now we're really coming to a big head. And so when you ask me where or myself love journey starts. I think it started from the moment I was born because as the second or born were constantly told what to do.

What we should do how we should act, what we should look like. And then, as media, especially mainstream you get has gotten so popular and social media as well, it's just kind of had that awareness even more for self-love, because we're just having being shoved in our face so much, to really the journey for all of us begins from the second that we come into this world.

Can you tell us a little bit about that and your back story?

Yeah, so it's really just like where you wanna start. So there are lots of things that I've been through with everyone has their own story and personal stories are so important. So you guys, no matter what your story is to get in the comparison of it, just keep showing up and sharing your story as well, because your story can help a lot of people, and I have lots of different aspects to my story. There's, of course, I was a very young mom, that went through a very abusive, not healthy relationship, and then it just kind of smiled from there, where I went into a little bit of a depression and things like that, but really works to pull myself out of it. By feeding myself, just lots and lots of self-love, I love that.

And when you say feeding yourself above what kind of things do you mean by that?

Well, I really like wine and cheese. There are the actual aspects of feeding ourselves, which for some reason it has been turned into the mass media and bull shit, and it's just another aspect of control and too not let you love yourself a really feeding myself and enjoying what And that's helpful, but beating myself a positive people around me and feeding myself with honestly, any time I have a negative thought or anything like that instead of just writing from it, I lean into it, which I guess would be a form of being myself, right, so I really just lead into it and I'm like, "Why am I thinking that Why do I feel that way and then just transiting that... And to love and I know it sounds so cheesy, but everything can be solved with love and compassion, I completely agree and that leaning in part is something I know a lot of people struggle with.

Do you have any suggestions on how to start leaning it, other than just leaning in?

A lot of times people will do this thing where they're going through a thought process it so you might get up and you might be like, "Oh my gosh, I hate butt". "I'm lazy that's why I hate my butt". "My dad told me I had a bad butt". And the cycle continues. 

Now tell the little girl, "Hey you're amazing and your butt is amazing too". And you just immediately reverse the cause of it, so what we tend to do, and even in the positivity where all this you'll hear people even say things like mantras can fix everything and they really can't. Because if I'm just sitting here saying I love myself, I love myself. That's pregnant awesome, but you're just kind of masking what's really there at the root cause.

You have to notice what you notice so notice what you notice and don't just dismiss it as bull shit. I really noticed why you're noticing. Once you discover the root causes and then you can switch it, and then you can use mantras or positive sayings and be like, Wow, that is amazing.

If you can look for the connections versus the consumption, that's what I am encouraging everyone to do is look for the connections versus the consumption. You can join Samantha in her community https://www.facebook.com/groups/GirlCrushAlliance/

or find her

https://www.instagram.com/thesamanthaparker/

https://thesamanthaparker.com/

Where did your story start? Before you discovered that self-love was important.

I grew up in a very family business-oriented family entered Nero family, my dad was a second-generation business owner and his family and my mom stayed home with myself and then my three younger siblings, probably in high school, I kinda took some left turns, when he and I were not saying I do. I, about a lot of things as you do when you start creating your independence.

I went to college, I went to school to be a stage manager, in New York, and then realized I did not want to work with actors.

What I actually wanted to do was help people moving through the emotional transition of things. So after a couple of years, I got my BS degree in Family Studies, and then instead of going into social work, I thought I would I actually ended up going entrepreneurship myself, I started with a direct sales company.

II started listening to  personal development speakers it and I just, I was a sponge. Give me more, give me more! obsessively listening to the next one, the next one, this is when we had CDs, in the car, we are listening to CDs that you had to plug in and pull back out. And I really became obsessed with being more productive, more efficient, more valuable, to the people around me.

It wasn't until 2014 that I really started to look around. Go okay. I love what I'm doing to a degree, I don't love selling products, but I love working with people in the capacity in working with that was a sexual health and wellness educator for those 13 years in direct sales.

It's helping women talk about their bodies on a regular basis and helping them break down some of the rules, they've had handed to them from generation after generation about what's okay, what's not okay, what body parts are okay, or body parts, are not okay, what should they all be who likes them, and how much and all of these things that come with physical intimacy. But we are having a lot of emotional conversations about this. Well, so I was well-versed in loving your body and being aware and edge the clinical side of things, all of that.

In 2014, when I started getting these days of flu-like symptoms, but no actual fever nobody could tell us what was going on. I was going to doctor after doctor, 'cause it would happen for 10 days and I'd be okay for a couple of days and then it would happen again.

And so it was just this weird cycle and I, I was canceling party presentations that I was making money for my family, I was not able to do meetings for my team, and now I was getting distraught because this is something that my entire families household income was based on this, and I'd spent 13 years building this and I realized I wanted to start coaching outside of the team. And outside of the consultants or the clients I had and so, residing in that direction, but it was too late and my body was just shutting down.

The first thing was a food sensitivity test, I figured out that soy was mine, archons. If it had even a drop of soy was laid out for a week to sometimes two weeks, sometimes a month. And so I started developing this really huge fear of food.

We had to cook all my meals at home, and I was traveling a lot 'cause I was a corporate trainer, for the corporate office, as well. taking big, huge coolers with me everywhere I go because I was so scared that someone would not take this seriously 'cause it wasn't technically an allergy I wasn't gonna have an anyplace reaction and my reaction took 72 hours to kick in, so that's why it took so long for us to figure out what it was because I couldn't I was tracking things, but nothing in this 24 hours was consistent, it was three days later. So, anyway, through that process, I started developing the teeter around, food, and then when the symptoms started kicking in again, about six months later, I was like, What is going on. I'm not eating any soil I'm making my own food

Where did your story start? Before you discovered that self-love was important.

I grew up in a very family business-oriented family entered Nero family, my dad was a second-generation business owner and his family and my mom stayed home with myself and then my three younger siblings, probably in high school, I kinda took some left turns, when he and I were not saying I do. I, about a lot of things as you do when you start creating your independence.

I went to college, I went to school to be a stage manager, in New York, and then realized I did not want to work with actors.

What I actually wanted to do was help people moving through the emotional transition of things. So after a couple of years, I got my BS degree in Family Studies, and then instead of going into social work, I thought I would I actually ended up going entrepreneurship myself, I started with a direct sales company.

II started listening to  personal development speakers it and I just, I was a sponge. Give me more, give me more! obsessively listening to the next one, the next one, this is when we had CDs, in the car, we are listening to CDs that you had to plug in and pull back out. And I really became obsessed with being more productive, more efficient, more valuable, to the people around me.

It wasn't until 2014 that I really started to look around. Go okay. I love what I'm doing to a degree, I don't love selling products, but I love working with people in the capacity in working with that was a sexual health and wellness educator for those 13 years in direct sales.

It's helping women talk about their bodies on a regular basis and helping them break down some of the rules, they've had handed to them from generation after generation about what's okay, what's not okay, what body parts are okay, or body parts, are not okay, what should they all be who likes them, and how much and all of these things that come with physical intimacy. But we are having a lot of emotional conversations about this. Well, so I was well-versed in loving your body and being aware and edge the clinical side of things, all of that.

In 2014, when I started getting these days of flu-like symptoms, but no actual fever nobody could tell us what was going on. I was going to doctor after doctor, 'cause it would happen for 10 days and I'd be okay for a couple of days and then it would happen again.

And so it was just this weird cycle and I, I was canceling party presentations that I was making money for my family, I was not able to do meetings for my team, and now I was getting distraught because this is something that my entire families household income was based on this, and I'd spent 13 years building this and I realized I wanted to start coaching outside of the team. And outside of the consultants or the clients I had and so, residing in that direction, but it was too late and my body was just shutting down.

The first thing was a food sensitivity test, I figured out that soy was mine, archons. If it had even a drop of soy was laid out for a week to sometimes two weeks, sometimes a month. And so I started developing this really huge fear of food.

We had to cook all my meals at home, and I was traveling a lot 'cause I was a corporate trainer, for the corporate office, as well. taking big, huge coolers with me everywhere I go because I was so scared that someone would not take this seriously 'cause it wasn't technically an allergy I wasn't gonna have an anyplace reaction and my reaction took 72 hours to kick in, so that's why it took so long for us to figure out what it was because I couldn't I was tracking things, but nothing in this 24 hours was consistent, it was three days later. So, anyway, through that process, I started developing the teeter around, food, and then when the symptoms started kicking in again, about six months later, I was like, What is going on. I'm not eating any soil I'm making my own food.

And we figured out there was another sensitivity, but really what it was is my immune system was breaking down because for so long, my body was whispering to me, that it needed attention. I was tired all the time I needed caffeine constantly, the Stat Way to do anything, even I would be up late doing parties but I'd be sleeping if I needed to in the marked by kids were super little, still and I would still need a nap. Aida and I were dragging so my body was giving me all these signals.

In hindsight, I can see that.

Well, at in the moment, I just saw it as an annoying obstacle for me to be able to keep going, keep working because I had developed this really intense work addiction where that was the only way I felt valuable is if I was constantly producing money producing an impact on other people, and that this lack of what I needed was deep. It was a huge canon of... That's an E-a conversation. I'm not even gonna have the conversation, but what I want or what I need.

And so really, that's kind of where that began, that journey of leaving that life behind, and really redesigning over the last six years where my life is going and where it has been.

JENN:

There are so many things to unpack there with the... And the money and associates that you need to be working to be worthy. What was that like? What moment di you realize this has to change right now, 'cause I can't go further.

TASHA:

I was thinking about it before when you started talking today 'cause I haven't thought about this time in my life, in a while, because I have one I had spent later on in my journey, I spend about 18 months in bed where I couldn't do anything and I spend a lot of time. There was 18 months. Just really dissecting like you said, unpacking all these years of the choices I was making, so when I knew that even when I got the list of food sensitivities and then we saw some other things that the hormonal and balances and then we saw some of... Like these little areas that after 15 years, 20 years of really abusing your systems, there's more than one problem, right? There's always more than one problem I into when you've avoided it for that long.

So we started uncovering these pieces. And I'm like, "I'm so broken.

How am I going to work and do all this? That was my thought, not how am I going to heal how am I going to love my kids, "How am I gonna work if I am breaking?

And it wasn't until probably a year and a half later, I mean a solid 18 months later maybe two years even where I was pushing and pushing it, and pushing even after the this, the long period of having literally sometimes a month completely out of commission, that I was lying in bed, I was so used to go to our annual convention and I couldn't fly I couldn't drive, I just, there was no way that I could handle that much simulation we I was wishing so I decided that instead of going, "I would be glued to my computer and watch the entire thing because they do a lot of live streams and I would just work my butt off while they're there, so I could still work and still show up.

I was lying in bed and my husband came up, and he's been amazing. Then, the whole thing brought me food and was do T, what do you need? My hands, couldn't type.

They started acting up and down my arms and into my hands, and my joints in my fingers and I couldn't type and I just melted down, because it was literally my body saying you need to stop.

The last thing that I tried to do was type and it would not let me do it, and I'm like, I can't do anything and he's like, "That's okay, you need to rest, I can't rest I hate to work. And that's when I knew, this is bad, this is bad, that I am pushing so hard still, even with all the evidence, all of the clear as day evidence that I had that I still was willing to put all of that at risk, all of my family and my health long term, at risk because I needed to work and my body.

I said, "You're done. And that's when I knew, this is deeper than just having some foods in certifies is deeper than just having a hormonal imbalance and that's really when I started to detect it and it always is deeper. There's always that surface-level thing, but it's not till you work with those crazy shadows that hang out.

It is nineteen, for sure.

JENN:

So, after that moment, what did you do to start changing that?  How did you start that journey?

TASHA:

Well, I had really, for me it was a lack of spirituality for those 15 years, just a lack of... I leaned really hard into the logical side of life.

This makes sense, this is the science, this is the data, this is sex and a lot of that's based and rooted in my childhood, I was gas lit a lot when I was little. And as a teenager, and so in that when you're that age, and you are being told what you know to be true, what you saw with your eyes, or to her with your ears is not true. You've developed this need and in this mechanism to constantly factually produce information because you need to see for your eyes and have someone... We'll see it invalidate that. Yes, that did actually happen. Yes, that is true.

And so that was my... What I leaned on and when no matter what evidence was in front of me, I still wasn't getting better, I realized that, that I needed to pull back and started working inside. So we moved from a three-level home to a two-level home and in that process, in an effort to downsize. My husband built me a Zen Room, and it was a separate room. Yeah, he's amazing. A separate room to really tranquil really... A lot of the set wood plank panels on the walls. We look really natural very similar.

This was kind of going on in some areas of it. This is definitely, this manifestation wall, which is what we have now, this place for me to go where my role was, I couldn't take any work in there, I still was working but I was drastically reduced in my expectations for what I was producing a mass, and I would go in there and I was told that if I meditated my body would start to call at a little bit because I got into had gone to the point where I couldn't handle White and sound a lot of the time, and then I would get migraines, and I couldn't sleep. And so all of these factors create a lot of solitude.

And that's what I needed, I needed to not distract myself by what other people needed or what other people wanted and what other people were saying and doing. I had to be by myself and learned to sit with that and I sit with the emotions sit with the fear. So with the internal desire to go and do and just be... And so that is where I moved into and kind of leaned pretty hard into it and it paid off.

It's still pays off, it, it, it's one of the most profound practices that has changed everything. And I was the person that... Any time someone said something about meditating, I'm like, "Are you crazy sitting still have you lost your damn mind?"

I couldn't sit still and my foot was constantly moving, if I had to sit and watch a family movie it was torturous because that was two hours of not doing anything and so, to voluntarily sit and listen to someone else. Tell me how the breath are you kidding me?

But because of that, and I think it's like 16 journals I now have, in the last five years that journaling process, just letting things be as opposed to trying to fix things, leaning into that being still space, not reflecting too far back, not worrying about things too far in the future, that's really where... That's really where things started to change for me internally.

JENN:

So what was the first meditation session? Like just 'cause I know I personally and the go go go, masculine full.

TASHA:

Yeah, I think about head and her Julia and stepping with that feminine space when they tried to make me sit down, I was like... I've been here for 10 seconds, so I was the first a little bit of time, like for you.

So what's funny is I actually got introduced to meditation again, so typical and tracks with my history, I was forced into meditation because I, one of the avenues that I saw it out when traditional medicine couldn't help me and that's been the case for a 95% of my journey that I got acupuncture and the first, and I was terribly I used to call myself what I realized now is I'm just really sensitive. I was so terrified if these needles going in my body, but the expert who had helped me with the food sensitivities, it had given me some kind of life back again, highly suggested that I went and did this, and I had a bunch of friends who were in energy healing and those kinds of things, and I saw was open to the idea, especially more the more and more I was seeing that traditional medicine, at least for me, was not actually helping it was just making me run around so I made the appointment.

I wait into the acupuncture as the office I'm lying on the table. She's telling me in very short sentences, what's happening, what I'm doing. And then she was like, I don't know, 36 or 38 needles from head to toe some of my belly with a heat lamp. Hi Belle. And I was like, "We this kind of cool. And then she turned on some meditation kind of a flute go kind of music and then left and she's still back in 20 minutes I said.

Okay, so she left and within 10 seconds I was like, "Oh my God, I can't move, like I was terrified to make sense, cars gonna hurt myself, right? I was gonna puncture an ARR or something. I don't know how this stuff works.

And I realized at that moment that I'm gonna have to sit still for 20 minutes 'cause I'm held hostage, I can't actually move. And that is how I discover meditation because I was lying there on the table listen to the music and then calming my breath down. Because I was so scared about what was happening, that I ended up realizing that this is what meditation as it's being present with what's going on in the moment, it's not about erasing or avoiding the thoughts, it's not about completely clear in your mind, it's about clearing the judgment from your mind, and it's about allowing yourself to just breathe in your moment and feel and see and experience where you are in the now at least that's one of the versions of meditation. And I was like, "Oh okay, I can see where this isn't beneficial. I find it hilarious that I'd have 38 needles in time, my body for it to happen, but that's tractor, so that that mix about that makes about sense, so... So that's how I did it for... So because I was physically held down and I meditated then I was able to see... Okay, I'll listen to a couple of minutes of a guide, Menotti. On for me. Guide. Meditation was the only way that was gonna happen for probably about a year. That's what I did, I didn't have any kind of silent alone meditation.

Yeah, and that's a really good point to make up as art where you're at the silent clear your thought sitting silence for hours. That's not where you should start, but that's for me. That was what I thought of meditation, yeah, and why I was so terrified to even get into the space and now I'm like, "I go a good teacher. So yeah, you don't know you.

So all of my clients get scared when I suggest meditation. All of them are, most of them are very similar to me. We help the people that have traveled or traveling a similar path.

And what I ended up doing was creating a one-hour course on how to make meditation Made Easy. It doesn't have to be this huge process, but there are so many unknowns because there's no one right way to do it. So I created a step-by-step process that I used and that I've given to friends and staff was throughout the years.

It makes it easy to do to sit down and do it after you've done these first few things beforehand that you can do over time so you're not having to create the space, decide that you're in the mood for, figure out what meditation you're gonna listen to and actually do it and then know what to do while it does you over a woman. 'cause it isn't just to meditate. It is six, seven, set process. And so that's one of the free courses that I have with my membership group.

Oh, that's awesome, yeah. So you say you bring this to clients, the people where are you meeting your clients in their journey right now? You say we all help each other on the past that we were on, which 1% agree. We're all helping transformation even though we're all in the coaching world doing the same kind of thing.

JENN:

Where are you meeting your clients in their journey right now?

TASHA:

So the clients, I'm usually working with have identified that something is just not right, something is missing or there they feel like they're looking around going. I don't know how I got here. And I know that this can't be it. There's something more that I'm posed to do here that isn't about taking care of my kids, although if you're a parent, all of us, love our children, but that is not enough because the idea is if you're good enough or being a parent, they will have actually not need you and so we need something that's above and beyond being the partner being the children and my clients have just identified that, and are not sure how to do something about it. And so we go through the five life elements that I discovered in my journey that have really helped me kind of balance out the work addiction or the complete avoidance of going to work. Because you feel like you can only be a caregiver. And so, we navigate through those five areas based on their own personal unification that that something is just not right. I know I'm missing something.

Yeah, finding that bond and making sure you are part of that ballot then it's such a struggle to make. I don't know, for me, I'm not a parent, but I still struggle just being a wife, then it's like, "Oh my goodness, I'm a fire wife, so my husband's only home a certain number of day and some... And this month it's five days so I feel like I can't do anything else for me on those five days. He's how... But I realize now that I'm still gonna go to the gym, it's an hour of my day I gonna go swim because I really enjoy the water aerobics with all of my older friends.

Yeah, and it's so important to find a way to find that balance. And it took having a coach, I couldn't do it alone.

BOUNDARIES

Oh yeah, oh, for sure. Boundaries are a huge part of our conversations because most of us if we're in the situation where you don't have what you want, it's because you did not learn how to establish boundaries in your relationship with other people, or with yourself.

And so I would say probably 50% of the conversation we have within each life element as the boundaries and how to ask for what you need but also ask for those people that you're in Eccles with those people that do get to have a say in your day-to-day experience in the sense of you respect their feedback, what do they need from you so that you can negotiate those things, how to have those hard conversations so that everybody has what they need and no one feels like they are. The more we don't need to have that syndrome either. And so having those conversations about boundaries, and understanding and accepting that what we need for ourselves to make us feel good is benefiting the person who we are fearfully taking time away from the... So what are some of your non-negotiables for your day? Okay, so that's a great question. And it's one of my favorite topics because I think so few of us have these... So my non-negotiable is, I go to bed early. One of the lasting health stuff, health pieces that I'm using or still working with is my sleep system, so my body started way, EA 330 in the morning, back in probably almost a year ago, and it's just part of mine system still trying to maneuver it's way back to a healthy cycle.

LISTEN TO THE REST OF THE INTERVIEW AT the link BELOW

Yeah, so get out there and see your body with love.

Connect with Tasha

www.facebook.com/groups/rr.rockstars

JENN:

There was this time in your life where you were at this major rock bottom before you started your way back up. Can you tell us a little bit about that?

LESLIE:

I was working for about three weeks in Toronto and during that time, I don't know what hit me, I was just, I didn't feel like I had any direction in my life, I felt like I wasn't getting anything that I wanted out of my life and I feel like I was just working for just working to please everybody else except for myself, and I got home.

And this was towards the end of September, beginning of October, and I remember I summer it so vividly, I had got home pulled into my dry way being gone for three weeks and my husband is my husband at the time, had come up to see me and he hugged me, and it just felt off, it felt different, it did, it felt like there was nothing there, and one after that, I realized at that, Okay, something needs to happen. Because I realized in that moment that I had so much of my happiness, invested and it was dependent on him and how he was treating me and it was at that time I reached out to my friend, Kim freeze.

I had a free session with earlier in the year, and she does something old transformational therapy, which I know I talked to you, you know a little bit about it's a combination of hip it therapy, and see before cognitive to go to be here for therapy.

And I reached out to her, I immediately got a package to start working with her, and I'm so glad I did cause it's funny, how these things kind of work out within two weeks of me working with her, my husband at the time, two weeks after I started. Working with her, he said, "I am no longer in love with you and I wanted to worse.

Wow, not move in a timing to have it not.

We were in to have that come up at the same time.

It was just two weeks. So we had had our first hypnotherapy session, together, and the biggest focus, that we were having at that time is being good enough.

And the hypnosis audio that I had received was around worthiness. I'm good enough, I like myself, I love myself. It was very, very basic, but something that's so profound that I feel like, especially as women. We don't think about until we actually start working on it.

And I really believe I really still to this day, believed that if we hadn't started that work two weeks prior, if I would have gotten that news like I did from my X it really, really would have broken me because I was already in a point when, yes, it broke my heart, but I had already started doing that work, I had already started working on journaling working. I'm figuring out what I really wanted and working with him to really understand that. I already have everything within me to be happy and all it takes is recognizing that I am really of that that I can love myself and that I don't need anybody else to be happy.

JENN:

I think that's so amazing that it was two weeks into your journey with her and you got just that enough.

LESLIE:

That's the one thing I keep wanting to focus on when I trust my client, and talk with people like sometimes it's not, it doesn't take rioting it's just getting that foundational piece of I’m an AP or realizing you don't think you're enough to put that in our work in.

JENN:

And that moment that he told you that he was in a longer love with you. Well, where did you go from there?

LESLIE:

Oh man, well, as you know, I'm sure, 'cause you've been on this journey to... It's something that's consistent and it's something that you have to continue to do and that you have to continue to work on. And so I continue my work with Kim. I continued to focus on exactly what I wanted and the direction that I wanted to go and it was from there at the beginning of at the beginning of all this, the beginning of the the divorce process, the beginning of him telling me I'm not under in love with yo

JENN:

There was this time in your life where you were at this major rock bottom before you started your way back up. Can you tell us a little bit about that?

LESLIE:

I was working for about three weeks in Toronto and during that time, I don't know what hit me, I was just, I didn't feel like I had any direction in my life, I felt like I wasn't getting anything that I wanted out of my life and I feel like I was just working for just working to please everybody else except for myself, and I got home.

And this was towards the end of September, beginning of October, and I remember I summer it so vividly, I had got home pulled into my dry way being gone for three weeks and my husband is my husband at the time, had come up to see me and he hugged me, and it just felt off, it felt different, it did, it felt like there was nothing there, and one after that, I realized at that, Okay, something needs to happen. Because I realized in that moment that I had so much of my happiness, invested and it was dependent on him and how he was treating me and it was at that time I reached out to my friend, Kim freeze.

I had a free session with earlier in the year, and she does something old transformational therapy, which I know I talked to you, you know a little bit about it's a combination of hip it therapy, and see before cognitive to go to be here for therapy.

And I reached out to her, I immediately got a package to start working with her, and I'm so glad I did cause it's funny, how these things kind of work out within two weeks of me working with her, my husband at the time, two weeks after I started. Working with her, he said, "I am no longer in love with you and I wanted to worse.

Wow, not move in a timing to have it not.

We were in to have that come up at the same time.

It was just two weeks. So we had had our first hypnotherapy session, together, and the biggest focus, that we were having at that time is being good enough.

And the hypnosis audio that I had received was around worthiness. I'm good enough, I like myself, I love myself. It was very, very basic, but something that's so profound that I feel like, especially as women. We don't think about until we actually start working on it.

And I really believe I really still to this day, believed that if we hadn't started that work two weeks prior, if I would have gotten that news like I did from my X it really, really would have broken me because I was already in a point when, yes, it broke my heart, but I had already started doing that work, I had already started working on journaling working. I'm figuring out what I really wanted and working with him to really understand that. I already have everything within me to be happy and all it takes is recognizing that I am really of that that I can love myself and that I don't need anybody else to be happy.

JENN:

I think that's so amazing that it was two weeks into your journey with her and you got just that enough.

LESLIE:

That's the one thing I keep wanting to focus on when I trust my client, and talk with people like sometimes it's not, it doesn't take rioting it's just getting that foundational piece of I’m an AP or realizing you don't think you're enough to put that in our work in.

JENN:

And that moment that he told you that he was in a longer love with you. Well, where did you go from there?

LESLIE:

Oh man, well, as you know, I'm sure, 'cause you've been on this journey to... It's something that's consistent and it's something that you have to continue to do and that you have to continue to work on. And so I continue my work with Kim. I continued to focus on exactly what I wanted and the direction that I wanted to go and it was from there at the beginning of at the beginning of all this, the beginning of the the divorce process, the beginning of him telling me I'm not under in love with you. And I wanted, divorce, there was a part of me, even though I was going through at the start of the journey that I was like, Oh, no, no, no, no, just... You watch. This is a marriage. We're sticking together. No, I'm gonna fix this, 'cause we're always like we need to fix this. What I was always like, "What did I do wrong? I need to fix something when really I didn't need to fix anything at all.

Yeah, I had to recognize I didn't need to fix anything at all. And slow slowly, and then it started rapidly almost like a domino. If I recognized that as I was on this journey that he had his own issues, and I mean I don't need to get into that 'cause that's him, but I recognize that we were still going into two different directions that all it took was me recognizing my worth and how much that I need to love myself and focus on myself to realize that I was working for his dreams, I was working for his happiness and not my own. And that's not something that's healthy, that's not a healthy relationship. And I say this to my my boyfriend now that I've told him, "You don't need me to be happy, I don't need you to be happy. But we do enhance each of those lives and making sure that I can make it to... There's a so much better, but we don't need each other to be happy. My previous marriage, it was not like that. So yeah, so to go from that super people-pleasing, it kind of sounds like a little co-dependence. I don't know how to understand that. Oh yeah, yeah, I colored that. How I'm sorry, what you broke it, there was this time you had with that and in that time, you were able to break free with the journaling and the inner work and all of that kind of stuff. Was there something that switched off fast, did it feel like?

A lot of internal time cause I know that something I had struggles with.  A lot of people have struggles with it have come into my space and sometimes I wanted it to be fast for me, I didn't take it took way longer than two paces, I, the two weeks was just the initial, I think it was just the initial thing and I think that's something to anyone listing is that something important to realize in the two weeks that that work was taking place? I think it only helped the situation that I had been my life got so disrupted and so I think the... What little work I did in two weeks helped that disruption not completely break me.

However, this entire process, it was daily.

Two stents action, and it wasn't anything big. It started off as something as listening to his.  And it started off as something as simple as reflecting, reflecting throughout my day, which is actually something and a part of a methodology that I have for a membership that I know once this launch is going to the sales are gonna be starting for it. I have a membership. It's wanting for entrepreneurs, and part of the methodology is exactly what I developed during this time. As a simple reflection.

It's asking me, I asked myself every single night What went well in my day, what did go well, and what could I do better moving forward.

I focused on what I did do well because a lot of times I feel like I was in a negative state of mind and I felt like, "Oh my gosh, I didn't get anything done today or nothing went well today.

And so focusing on that made me realize, I think it is done today and I did do some good stuff. What didn't go well? Because it's important to know where you are to know where you wanna go, and then what can I do better moving forward, and that setting up my Action Plan for the very next day. And I did that consistently every single day for months and it was something so simple yet so profound because it allowed me to see when I was journaling, where... Like my pitfalls were where some emotional triggers were what things were going on in my day that we're gonna cause me to feel a certain way or not focus on myself.

And so, in doing that, I was able to become more disciplined become more productive, be more accountable to myself and then in turn work towards the goals that I actually wanted, versus always working for somebody else's goals like my partners.

One of those big dreams that you had when you were working forward? For me, I like to look for the light at the end of the tunnel, I... What was it something that you were missing that you really wanted in your life?

I am a big business entrepreneur nerd and there was a mastermind that I wanted to be a part of, and any time I wanted to do anything that was... Any amount of money I had found my axis saying, Where is the money gonna come from or... Oh, this seems like a lot of money. Do we really need to be spending the money on that? And during that time, because we were getting divorced, everything was split right?

And so there was a mastermind wanted to be a part of it was 2000 at the time, I was very invested also, and I still am in reading personal development books, so I was actually reading it was a book by Jean. Zero. You're a bad-ass at making money. And I was like, "I need to come up with this money, and within 24 hours of me deciding that I wanted to come up with that money I came up with the 2000 that's a tenth.

You know what, that comes from the people as talk about. Oh, manifesting. When you are in a headspace, where you love yourself, you know, you're worth, you know what you're capable of and then you have your mind fixated on a goal, you can come up with it quickly, you can get to that goal quickly.

And so what I found during this time working towards that money or some of the other goals that I had written down, is that I at one point before a lot of other stuff happened.

I had made a goal another long-term goal that I had was to get out of or to be able to get my ex out of the house and I wanted to keep the house and pay for everything, and I was able to come up with a budget and basically make up the lost income that I wouldn't have from him. I was able to figure all of that. I would make it up within about a one that's a superpower, I honor sharing with your audience and your masterminds and your membership groups and stuff like that, because that's a true gift to be able to do.

Thank you, and I'm sure there was a lot of learning behind that. So in being able to set your mind on that one goal, how did you work towards that? Because that's a huge... Losing half of your income, it's still coming up with all your housing costs. And then being able to go to the seminar at the same time, how did you work towards that big goal?

So I mean, really, and when I teach within my community, and the people that I work with one-on-one, the action steps that you need to take they're gonna be different for everybody, 'cause everyone has different goals at its core. I boiling down to those three questions that I asked myself every single night number one, and it was the... Well, what didn't go well, what can I do better moving forward, and then I also owe it to the three-step methodology process that I've developed for helping entrepreneurs perform better in their businesses.

So there's face-one, to what I call your discovery phase, which considers it sounds like very science and methodical but really it's not, I mean it is, but it's not, it's collecting information it's collecting data, it's really looking at, Okay, it's journaling even, it's saying, Okay, how am I spending my time throughout the day?

Because a lot of us, I'm still like this, and I'm sure you've noticed it. There's certain pockets of our days where we're spending time doing something that's not productive, right?

Okay, so it's gathering that data. It's looking at Where am I not spending my time productively when am I not? It's looking at what are my emotional triggers if I am reflecting at the end of a day, at the end of the day and I'm like, "Hey I had not as a productive day today. Is there a reason behind that? Did I allow someone to actually be in control of my own emotions, as an of Leben in control of my emotions?

And so that's phase one, it's getting all that information as to I have is testing different things that work.

So, the one issue that I have found with a lot of what I call performance coaches, is they give you one set system, they tell you one certain way to do a certain thing and not... We are not cookie cutter people.

What works for what works for you? Jennifer is not going to necessarily work for me. It might, but it might not. And put everyone in one box and say This is one system, one methodology, this is exactly what's gonna work for you is bananas. So this testing and refining phase is saying, Okay, so I do better? It's SAN it's even simple things. Do I do better-writing things down or do I do big things better digitally?

What can I do to be more disciplined in is it giving myself some type of reward system is it being accountable to somebody? It's asking ourselves these questions and then committing to testing these things out, to see what works and what doesn't work. Also reflecting and then the third phase is a solution-phase where you continue to see what works, you continue to do it, you continue to reflect on it and then this process becomes cyclical in the sense that you then go back to this discovery phase, and you continue this process you continue to refine and you contended continue to be better. And that's exactly what I did.

That's an amazing room that you're able to come up with these A solution. It's not a cookie "Kidston but it is a solution that can fit most people, in it because it's so fluid for your specific needs.

So moving forward, not that I... Now you've risen as I like to, I like to say, I've risen from the ashes 'cause someones we have to burn it all down to build it all back up. Now, what are you doing now? What am I doing? Wow, oh my gosh, my life is I have this quote right now. I feel like that I'm continually saying it, it's just What is my life right now because I did all of this work. It's been for the past six months or so. Now, this inner work to love myself, know my worth, Know what I want, go after what I want to get disciplined move more towards my own goals, and what I want, and my life is just feeling so crazy right now, I literally feel like I am dreaming with my eyes open. I'm watching my paid community. I have a free Facebook community for entrepreneurs called The Pinnacle party pad that is growing, I am doing things that I love, I'm living in Florida, closer to my family, which I absolutely love as in this recording, I am leaving in about eight days to go to Europe to spend 28 days with my boyfriend and he paid for my flights.

What is my life?

I just got invited to speak at a retreat that's happening later on this year. I'm speaking to you. Hello, it's so crazy. The SEC. It was like, I'm so thankful and proud of myself that I made this decision to move forward and actually do something about my life, and I think I really had to hit that point we were talking about, I know we kind of discuss this.

It was almost like, I don't think that everybody has to have some type of Pivotal low point moment necessarily, to make a change, but for me, that is so thankful that I made the decision to move forward when I did, when I did, hit that low point, because it changed everything. I can't even imagine where I would be today. Had I not done that work had not reached out to him had I not been disciplined enough to go through hypnotherapy to develop the methodology that I did, and then follow it in day-to-day is the stressful stuff that happens. Yes, is there still stuff with my divorce and my ex, I'm dealing with... Yes, you know that we've talked privately about that, but it's like when I actually look at this and I do have a gratitude practice too, which is, I think it also helps. I look at this and I'm like, My life is just, it's made up of things that I had dreamed of and now the becoming rarity and it's so cool.

All because you decided to put yourself first.

Yeah, I really believe, and I've said this to people that I've coached, and people within my community that the biggest lesson that I have learned in life, and that I've learned in the past six months, is that being selfish is one of the most selfless things that you can do if you are somebody that loves people if you are somebody that loves to serve other people understand that being selfish is one of the best things that you can do to serve other people.

Oh, I'm 100% on board. When you love yourself, no relationship can actually work in a healthy manner, unless you have a relationship with yourself.

I mean, yes.

So I also wanna bring up, you mentioned your new membership which at the time this is airing it is live and open for people to join, and it has this methodology in it, that we were just looking about. Can you tell a little bit more about that community?

So it is called the pad or the pad, P standing for a productivity accountability and discipline. It is for entrepreneurs, mainly for entrepreneurs who are making under 10-000 a month. And really, it's for... And I have found with people that I've worked with, we all know exactly, especially these individuals who would be the best fit for this group and for this community that you know exactly what you need to be doing in your business, but you just feel stuck and you keep getting after yourself and you feel like you're just hitting a wall continually, not knowing what you...

Not knowing how to move forward, you already know how to do your branding, you do know how to do marketing, you already know how to be active on social media, but for whatever reason, there's a reason why you're getting stuck and so you think that you need a performance coach and and you do... However, what a lot of these performs coaches, I discuss don't address are the emotional issues that come with the only business inventors and moving forward. And so with my methodology through that data collection, the reflection and testing and refining and finding solutions we move through a lot of the emotions, a lot of the mindset blocks that happened when you try to improve your performance as an entrepreneur and how hot comes back to loving yourself.

Yeah, that was really, really fun is good, yeah, do anyone feels good and giving yourself grace? That is a huge, huge... I feel like we far to... After we put so many, we put such huge expectations on ourselves and we are not kind to ourselves, definitely not as kind... Kind, as we could be, that's for sure. I know that's something I do, I do myself before I really... So I'm guilty of that too. It's a work in progress, right?

That's the human experience is what I like to call it, is it was all perfect. That would be boring yeah.

So if you could leave everyone with one giant negate the one thing, if they don't take anything else away from this interview, what would be the one thing you want people to remember?

So I already said it be selfish, if you are, if you're listening to this and you are somebody who is saying "I can't possibly treat myself, I can't possibly get myself that gift, I can't possibly take a vacation or Take some time to myself away for my kids. I highly challenge that and see how much more capable Le to serve yourself, your family, others that you love simply by being selfish because being selfish is one of the most selfless things that you can do.

So I think to look and it's all about low. So then I, my room of things.

Well, I wanna thank you so much for taking your time today sharing your story, 'cause I know that sometimes sharing your story isn't always fun, but I appreciate that so much, and I'm really excited about your new membership community, and you definitely need to get into her free community. 'cause I'm in there and every week I put in my little... This is what I'm doing this week, and you will do it. She's gonna remind you.

Yeah, I like to think that I'm a butt-kicker, but I'm a gentle, but very nice about it, it is very nice. I had some people I'd been in some groups but it's a little harsh and you're like, "Oh I kind of feel a little bad, but it's very supportive and I'm enjoying being in there and it's a great space, it's helping me grow and be accountable for my own stuff. 

Connect with Leslie

lesliepineapple.com

facebook.com/iamlesliepineapple