Feelin Weird

Carey Niekrash spent YEARS binge-eating + restricting + over-exercising + dieting + hating herself and her body.  Holy shit, she's come a long way!  She's now an anti-diet health coach, but on this episode she talks ALL about her past. 

We also discuss:
BULIMIA,
postpartum depression,
sexual assault (TW),
being highly-sensitive and an introvert,
out-patient treatments,
perfectionism + PRESSURE,
therapy + healing,
and SO MUCH more! 

Visit Carey's instagram & website

• SUPPORT via PATREON*: patreon.com/feelinweird/
• Buy MERCH: kyeplant.bandcamp.com/
• DONATE via Paypal
• Review, Rate & Subscribe on Apple Podcasts
• Instagram: @feelinweirdpod
• Website: www.feelinweird.com
• Email: [email protected]

Here's a list of EVERY regular & bonus Feelin Weird episode :)

*Please consider contributing $5-50/month to support the show (and receive ~100 bonus episodes)

An Anonymous guest talks about growing up in psych-hospitals and foster homes, coming from an abusive and violent home, and Mast Cell Activation Syndrome.

We also discuss: 
suicide attempts (TW), 
psychiatric meds, 
being allergic to the sun, 
psychiatric diagnoses (and how useful/restrictive they are), 
assisted suicide, 
alternative healing, 
and MUCH more!

• SUPPORT via PATREON*: patreon.com/feelinweird/
• Buy MERCH: kyeplant.bandcamp.com/
• DONATE via Paypal
• Review, Rate & Subscribe on Apple Podcasts
• Instagram: @feelinweirdpod
• Website: www.feelinweird.com
• Email: [email protected]

Here's a list of EVERY regular & bonus Feelin Weird episode :)

*Please consider contributing $5-50/month to support the show (and receive ~100 bonus episodes)

Rhandi's brother was diagnosed as a sociopath at a young age--he tortured animals and had violent anger outbursts (like his dad, yet more dangerous).  They grew up in violent, unsafe homes in Michigan and never felt like they belonged.  Rhandi's relationship with her brother was tumultuous (at best) and his recent suicide has left her feeling confused, devastated and angry: she didn't like her brother, but she loved him.

CW: suicide, sexual abuse, animal abuse, violence.

This episode truly exemplifies how even the "worst" people are not ALL bad--people are complex!--and suicide leaves so many unanswerable questions...

We also discuss fear of abandonment, attachment issues, toxic/chaotic family structures, longing for connection/belonging, inter-generational trauma and SO much more!

• SUPPORT via PATREON*: patreon.com/feelinweird/
• Buy MERCH: kyeplant.bandcamp.com/
• DONATE via Paypal
• Review, Rate & Subscribe on Apple Podcasts
• Instagram: @feelinweirdpod
• Website: www.feelinweird.com
• Email: [email protected]

Here's a list of EVERY regular & bonus Feelin Weird episode :)

*Please consider contributing $5-50/month to support the show (and receive ~100 bonus episodes)

Non Wels talks about being a hyper-sensitive, weirdo-artist humyn and what it was like to grow up with an angry, scary dad!  We talk about asserting boundaries and interacting with those scary parents as adults.  

We also discuss: 
craving control because of chaos; 
embracing the chaos; 
wishing our dad's weren't alive; 
feeling like a dang weirdo who doesn't fit in; 
AND LOTS MORE.

Listen to PART TWO here!

Follow Non: @youmeempathy

• SUPPORT via PATREON*: patreon.com/feelinweird/
• Buy MERCH: kyeplant.bandcamp.com/
• DONATE via Paypal
• Review, Rate & Subscribe on Apple Podcasts
• Instagram: @feelinweirdpod
• Website: www.feelinweird.com
• Email: [email protected]

Here's a list of EVERY regular & bonus Feelin Weird episode :)

*Please consider contributing $5-50/month to support the show (and receive ~100 bonus episodes)

Kelsey talks emotionally neglectful parents; BPD; DBT; HEAVY emotions; HSP; dissociation; and coping mechanisms!

Kelsey grew up feeling like her parents hated her and she's had troubled relationships ever since. She was eventually diagnosed with BPD, which we talk about at length, but what I find truly interesting is what some psychologists call Childhood Emotional Neglect: "Why do I feel so fucked up but can't point to any specific incident in my childhood???  My parents kept me well fed and dressed and I was physically taken care of...  WHAT's WRONG WITH ME???"  If you've ever felt like you or your emotions are "TOO MUCH", this one's for you ;)  

We also discuss:
DBT; dissociating; using drugs & alcohol to soothe; regulating HEAVY emotions; journaling; HSP; "irrational" fears (eg. "the boogieman) and LOTS more.

• SUPPORT via PATREON*: patreon.com/feelinweird/
• Buy MERCH: kyeplant.bandcamp.com/
• DONATE via Paypal
• Review, Rate & Subscribe on Apple Podcasts
• Instagram: @feelinweirdpod
• Website: www.feelinweird.com
• Email: [email protected]

Here's a list of EVERY regular & bonus Feelin Weird episode :)

*Please consider contributing $5-50/month to support the show (and receive ~100 bonus episodes)

Carl M. tells the story of his father's chaotic and traumatic life (and how that affected Carl).  Carl's grandfather abandoned the family and Carl's grandmother was mentally unstable and thus, Carl's father spent most of his own childhood physically ill and in institutions (hospitals and foster care).  We discuss, directly and indirectly, the concept of intergenerational trauma and how our parents' and grandparents' pain and trauma lives in us and affects our lives.

We also discuss: 
electro-shock therapy, 
psychiatric institutions, 
Carl's bipolar diagnosis, 
mental illness, 
family and instability, 
emotionally distant fathers, 
reconnecting with Carl's father and becoming friends, 
asthma and other illness, 
our parents' limitations, 
and MORE!

Listen to Carl's album

• SUPPORT via PATREON*: patreon.com/feelinweird/
• Buy MERCH: kyeplant.bandcamp.com/
• DONATE via Paypal
• Review, Rate & Subscribe on Apple Podcasts
• Instagram: @feelinweirdpod
• Website: www.feelinweird.com
• Email: [email protected]

Here's a list of EVERY regular & bonus Feelin Weird episode :)

*Please consider contributing $5-50/month to support the show (and receive ~100 bonus episodes)

An Anonymous guest tells the story of how his childhood sexual abuse is tightly wound into his inability to "feel" heavy emotions (eg. when his best-friend died) and how later that manifested in what he now refers to as "Pure OCD".  Then, as a 30 year old, he was sexually assaulted in a hook-up-gone-HORRIBLY-wrong on a foreign island, halfway across the world where homosexuality was either illegal or frowned upon--no one there for support; no one there to help him medically.  He was damaged emotionally and physically.  He felt stuck.  He felt ashamed.  He felt helpless.  He felt like he should have been able to stop it.  This is what trauma looks like.

Topics discussed include: 
coping mechanisms, 
asexuality, 
trauma, 
recovery, 
therapy, 
OCD, 
mental health, 
the power of sharing these stories, 
not having a high "sex drive", 
and SO much more.

• SUPPORT via PATREON*: patreon.com/feelinweird/
• Buy MERCH: kyeplant.bandcamp.com/
• DONATE via Paypal
• Review, Rate & Subscribe on Apple Podcasts
• Instagram: @feelinweirdpod
• Website: www.feelinweird.com
• Email: [email protected]

Here's a list of EVERY regular & bonus Feelin Weird episode :)

*Please consider contributing $5-50/month to support the show (and receive ~100 bonus episodes)

Aneela Kumar struggled with hair pulling (trichotillomania) since a young age (because of an underlying anxiety).  It wasn't until she was standing atop her business's building in NYC, wishing she could jump that she was able to finally make the changes to live a healthier life (quit her "stable", yet unfulfilling life, went backpacking, went back to school and started a career in a creative venture). She started a company called Habit Aware that has a Keen bracelet which helps people who suffer from BFRBs.

We also discuss:
how it's "not that easy" to "stop a bad habit",
OCD intrusive thoughts and compulsions,
purpose,
pain + struggle,
father dying of cancer in her teens,
being a tomboy,
and so much more!

Find Aneela's products at:
https://habitaware.com/

• SUPPORT via PATREON*: patreon.com/feelinweird/
• Buy MERCH: kyeplant.bandcamp.com/
• DONATE via Paypal
• Review, Rate & Subscribe on Apple Podcasts
• Instagram: @feelinweirdpod
• Website: www.feelinweird.com
• Email: [email protected]

Here's a list of EVERY regular & bonus Feelin Weird episode :)

*Please consider contributing $5-50/month to support the show (and receive ~100 bonus episodes)

John Penman talks: abusive cop father (trauma); bisexual shame; PTSD; BPD; self-harm; intuition; transforming pain into love; & more!

He grew up with a father who was traumatized by his experience as a cop in Detroit in the post-"Crack Boom" era (when a once glorious city fell apart). His father constantly threatened to kill himself. He shot his gun in the house. He threatened to bring John to "little boy jail" if he didn't behave the way his father wanted. John's Father was transformed by his untreated PTSD into an abusive person. John was forced to be his therapist (as a child) but eventually had to cut him out of his life. Here's the story of trauma creating trauma creating trauma (the vicious cycle).

We also discuss:
trusting people who love us,
paranoia,
fear,
positive affirmations,
transforming pain into love,
homophobia,
being bisexual.
cutting / self-harm (CW),
inherited trauma,
being your parent's therapist,
trusting your intuition,
being kind,
plus LOTS more!

Contact John: johnthepenman.com
IG @jnpnmn

• SUPPORT via PATREON*: patreon.com/feelinweird/
• Buy MERCH: kyeplant.bandcamp.com/
• DONATE via Paypal
• Review, Rate & Subscribe on Apple Podcasts
• Instagram: @feelinweirdpod
• Website: www.feelinweird.com
• Email: [email protected]

Here's a list of EVERY regular & bonus Feelin Weird episode :)

*Please consider contributing $5-50/month to support the show (and receive ~100 bonus episodes)

Josh talks: being raised in a culture of fear and judgement; compassion; speaking in tongues; shame; self-hatred; & reclaiming spirituality!

Josh Van Leeuwen was raised in constant fear of hell + a culture of fear, intolerance, homophobia, racism, ETC.  Yet, he's one of the kindest, warmest people you're likely to meet.  So how'd a person raised in fear become such a compassionate being?  LISTEN IN ON MY TALK WITH HIM!

We discuss: 
his mother's death, 
speaking in tongues + other absurd actions caused by "the holy spirit" (eg. barking like dogs in public), 
homophobia, 
shame, 
laughter as medicine, 
self-hatred, 
raising children to be loving and accepting, 
sweat lodges, 
RECLAIMING your spirituality! 
and MORE!

• SUPPORT via PATREON*: patreon.com/feelinweird/
• Buy MERCH: kyeplant.bandcamp.com/
• DONATE via Paypal
• Review, Rate & Subscribe on Apple Podcasts
• Instagram: @feelinweirdpod
• Website: www.feelinweird.com
• Email: [email protected]

Here's a list of EVERY regular & bonus Feelin Weird episode :)

*Please consider contributing $5-50/month to support the show (and receive ~100 bonus episodes)