Amber talks abusive/neglectful parents; radical healing; hyper-sensitivity; compassion & empathy; & finding out her abusive dad was repressing his homosexuality (after he died)!

She found out her angry, violent father was gay after he died (via his hidden dildo and porn collection) but he never let on that he had a secret. But what chance did he have? His dad used to drive him into the country to beat the shit out of him and leave him to find his way home. Amber suspects it's because her grandpa knew her dad was "different". I call amber my guru--she considers herself a claircognizant medium. She went through a four year period of deep, crippling depression but managed to work through her trauma in a strange and wonderful way. This is a wild story!

We also discuss:
OCD,
getting pregnant at 16 and kicked out of her house,
cutting + depression + hopelessness,
optimism,
compassion,
being HYPER SENSITIVE,
her dad's speedo collection,
a secret, magical letter she wrote me,
and lots more!

Listen to the FULL episode on patreon

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My friend from church + high school days and I reconnect 14 years later to talk about growing up in conservative, extremely sheltered christian environments.  We had a falling out in 12th grade, which we discuss.  Both of us started drinking and partying shortly after this.  This is the fallout of sheltering your children from "the secular world".

We also discuss:
taking philosophy courses which caused us to "lose our faith",
shame + guilt,
divorce,
trauma,
sarcasm,
the long list of boys I've loved,
being a queer in a straight world,
teenage angst,
the weird christian world we lived and breathed,
missions trips,
AND more...

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Joey talks surviving a SEVERE eating disorder; outpatient recovery; binge + purge; sexual assault (CW); & the harm of "clean eating".

Joey (poet/artist) tells her story of surviving a severe eating disorder--at her worst, she was bingeing 5 times per day but eventually she checked herself into an outpatient recovery program. PLUS we talk about the inter-connection between eating disorders and mental health. Joey is a writer who lives in New York (AND ALSO A REALLY NICE + FUNNY PERSON!).

We also talk:
unplanned pregnancy + abortion,
sexual assault (CW),
"clean eating" as a gateway drug to disordered eating,
binge + purging,
set point weight theory,
writing as an outlet,
AND MUCH MORE!

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My high-school partner & I chat agoraphobia; coming out; being FLAKEY; benzo addiction; fatphobia & our past relationship!

Two teenagers with panic disorders dated but never realized they were both experiencing similar anxieties.  My first romantic partner talks to me about growing up with severe social-anxiety and weed-induced depersonalizations and dissociation:  she was open about her struggles, I kept mine locked up.

She also talks about agoraphobia, benzo addiction, coming out, growing up in homophobic environments, protective bubbles, BEING FLAKEY, medication, weight gain, fat phobia, body-positivity, roller derby, patience, dating a Christian straight edge teenager (me), and moooooore.

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Here's a list of EVERY regular & bonus Feelin Weird episode :)

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P8: My long-time close friend sat down with me in front of a fire, in a dark cabin in the mountains, late at night, to finally answer the question, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?"  We've toured the country, gone on trips to other countries, and lived together for many years, but we haven't been in contact since I started being vocal about my mental struggles.  He gave me his perspective (and it's an interesting one)!

We also talk about:
confidence VS. insecurity,
being a 20-something shit head,
suicide (TW),
idealism,
family drama vs. making your own family,
mood swings and introversion,
judging people,
mental illness
AND SO MUCH MOOOOORE  

Access ALL Feelin Weird episodes + bonus content at: 

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PART TWO ("She Was Raised in a Christian Cult")! A mother of two is actively healing the childhood trauma she experienced from psychological and sexual abuse.

We talk about:
relationships with problematic/toxic family members,
sexual abuse + the grey area of sexual assault (TW),
lack of sexual education and sexual repression,
the power of connection + vulnerability,
drugs, alcohol, and sobriety,
depression/mental illness, 
being a Christian missionary in Nepal,
having anal sex before vaginal sex to preserve your hymen,
and MooOOOooOOOre!

Access ALL Feelin Weird episodes + bonus content at: 

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We talk religious brainwashing; cocaine addiction; becoming a Christian missionary across the world; being a mom; sexual assault (CW); conversion therapy; and abusive parents.

PART ONE!
From religious brainwashing to cocaine addiction to becoming a Christian missionary across the world, this is a story of a mother-of-two who is processing the abuse she experienced in her younger years. Her parents were hippies in the 70's but a bad trip led them to the Jesus Movement and later to become extremely conservative evangelical Christians who sheltered their children from the outside world. This is the dark side of "the light".  

We discuss:
psychological manipulation,
sexual repression,
abusive parents,
being a prophet,
sexual assault (TW),
denouncing your upbringing,
conversion therapy,
the long-term effects that brainwashing has on children,
and MOOOOOOORE!  

Listen to PART TWO here!

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Here's a list of EVERY regular & bonus Feelin Weird episode :)

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Nathalie Maragoni (associate family & marriage therapist) was diagnosed at age 11 with OCD, but presented her first symptoms at age 4.  She explains how ERP (exposure response prevention) saved her from her own torment.  She's currently in the midst of completing her masters degree and training hours so that she can specialize in helping people with OCD and anxiety disorders.

We also talk about:
Pure O,
scrupulosity,
sexual orientation,
intrusive thoughts and compulsions,
and muuuuuuuuuuuuuuch more (obvs)!

• ​​Support on PATREON: patreon.com/feelinweird
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JUST WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS, more of me *eyeroll*.  Well, okay, this is an interview I did for an anonymous person and I decided to share it because WHY NOT.  The full version of this episode is available on my Patreon Account

Things we discuss: 
crippling depression, 
life after a suicide attempt (TW), 
what keeps us going, 
the absurdity of life, 
workaholics, 
cocaine, 
faking it, 
mental health diagnoses, 
laughter as a coping mechanism VS avoiding our problems, 
journalism, 
documentaries, 
and MUCH MORE.

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BONUS episode!  I talk about my tumultuous + toxic love affair with cocaine and what eventually led to a suicide attempt last September.  Though suicide is often seen as purely negative, I found this experience to be life-changing and I think it needed to happen to me.

This is not a 'typical' episode because, as you see in the title, I interviewed myself.  I thought it would be a funny way to talk about something fairly "heavy".  I don't know if it ended up being funny at all...  But I think the episode is still very interesting--though I'm very nervous to share it.  People open up to me (and thousands of strangers who listen to Feelin Weird) every week about things that scare them, and 75% of guests (not a mathematician...) feel VERY nervous about doing it and are often hesitant to even share their stories, so I think it's important for me to share my WEIRD things as well (so I know what it's like).  In my opinion, it's VERY important to talk about suicide (ideations, attempts, and just suicide in general) and I'm happy to share my experience.

TRIGGER WARNING: I talk about suicide, drugs and cutting myself--also, there is mention of blood.  Please be cautious if any of those things trigger you!  I honestly don't find these things hard to listen to--I LOVE HEARING THESE STORIES--but I know everyone is different.

Thanks so much for listening, friend!

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