Find Your Voice

"How to fix a broken mindset" #40 by Aren Deu

Tagline: "If you don't adopt this, then Find your voice becomes a pointless session"

Your mindset is everything. A simple definition of the word 'mindset' is that it is a collection of beliefs and thoughts. Now if we expand on the importance of it, then we have to recognise that our mindset will have an unprecedented impact on our day-to-day lives. We are governed so strongly by the things we believe and think, even when we do not realise it.

Now of course, when I say I am proposing 3 ways to fix a broken mindset, I want you to recognise that this is to help you move towards a growth mindset. This is said in tongue in cheek, and plays on words by using the word "fix". Remember fixing a mindset, does not mean getting a fixed mindset. Especially as a fixed mindset is a broken mindset.

The aim of this episode is to get you all to walk away with 3 tangible steps, that require no unique talents or effort, yet can still massively enhance your life. Just by operating and utilising these 3 steps you will instantly realise and reap the benefits from changing your thoughts and initial beliefs.

I sincerely hope after this episode you gain genuine value. Funnily enough, I dislike talking for the sake of talking as I truly appreciate time is our most important commodity. So just to have you tune in, means the world to me. But what would mean more, would be to see you all implement even just 1 of the steps in this podcast.

Let me also know how you found it and if you have any others to share too.

P.s. Any shares of the podcast, this episode or others, on social media (tag me in) I will repost and re share as many of them as possible too!

Have an awesome day!

Links to Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

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Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com

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"When god comes knocking" #39 by Michael Taylor

Tagline: "If you want something badly enough, there is no-one or nothing that can keep you from attaining it yourself"

Michaels story is riddled with adversity and as you listen to the trauma he has been through it is difficult to disagree that he is in fact a specialist in adversity. However, Michael does not paint a gloom and doom picture and speaks with optimism, enthusiasm and words of true wisdom about his experiences.

His invaluable insights, knowledge and healing procedures will definitely resonate with many of you who have too experienced adversity or trauma in your lives. Michael was abandoned by his mother at a very young age, where he noticed his first sacred wound. He was then experience domestic abuse, with his alcoholic grandma.

To make matters worse, Michael was then tragically raped by his older cousin sister. Something that he struggled for many years to share and overcome. His life was never simple and failed businesses and marriages continued to add to his ever growing list of adversities until he found himself, his voice.

Michael spent a lot of time healing and reflecting on himself which allowed him to completely change the next few chapters of his life around. When he moved his focus to service as opposed to money and healed his inner traumas and experiences Michael started to achieve bliss, happiness and fulfilment. He has since gone on to write 7 books, do multiple podcasts, keynote speak on many occasions and share his amazing wisdom with the world.

Someone I find truly fascinating and inspiring, I urge you all to follow his journey and let us both know what you thought about this amazing episode!

Key talking points in this episode:

1. How to overcome rape as a male
2. How to heal from past trauma
3. How to find your True purpose
4. Finding your Sacred wounds
5. Overcoming the imposter syndrome & Finding your voice

I sincerely hope after this episode you gain genuine value. Follow myself and Michael on our links below and let us know your thoughts:)

Thanks for listening

Free Audible book sign up:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21

Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Links to guest:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/coachmichaeltaylor/

Website: http://www.coachmichaeltaylor.com/

Michaels book: https://amzn.to/2ZsA7Aq

Books recommended:

Sign up for FREE Audible download any of the books mentioned:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21

Healing the shame that binds you - John Bradshaw https://amzn.to/2NOikNe

Healing the child within - Charles Whitfield https://amzn.to/2zNVVHt

Pippa transcript:

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"The girl who lived" #38 by El Formosa

Tagline: "Break the stigma"

El Formosa, is an incredibly beautiful soul. A proud mother, a blogger, a mental health advocate and a writer. She speaks her truth and opens up to all her vulnerabilities of the adversities she suffers. Having tragically seen her nan and best friend die from cancer, El has had her fair share of struggles and pain throughout her life. Also due to something out of her control she also found herself diving deep into anxiety which led to depression and ill mental health.

Now trying to break the stigma, and overcome the dark side to anxiety, El shares an honest, vulnerable story about overcoming the shame she initially had attached to anxiety. She also speaks about what she believes people can do if they are ever struggling and so kindly opens herself up to speak with anyone who may need someone to talk too.

I can describe El in a few words, that all give you a warm feeling: Kind, vulnerable, honest and thought provoking.

Key talking points in this episode:

1. Overcoming shame of mental health
2. Dealing with the adversity of death
3. Finding your passion and voice through your own medium
4. What to do when you are going through anxiety
5. The fear of relapsing with mental health

I sincerely hope this episode provides you genuine value. I also urge you to follow El's journey if it resonated with you, or if you enjoyed this.

Thanks for listening

Free Audible book sign up:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21

Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Links to guest:

Website: http://www.tro-unicorns.uk/2019/07/cover-your-ears.html?m=1

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elformosa_ldn/

welcome to an episode of find your voice a movement led by yours truly Aren Deu a guy who was overcome crippling anxiety adversity and difficulty like so many of you in life whose main goal now is to help you combat your excuses take control of your life write your own story and most importantly find your voice so now without further ado I welcome the host of the show himself Mr Aren Deu what's going on people thank you for tuning into another episode of Floyd your voice my name is Aren and as always I am the host of the show so today's story is from our and she speaks about her truth Hey truth being depression not outside Lee has been battling with depression for quite some time not having previously suffer with his ideas well and she suffered with a whole heap of adversity like many of us listening hit today she's hired people die two kinds %HESITATION her best friend had none she's also had circumstances in our lives I really forced her to look deep in trying to find a suppose the meeting behind the paid that she's going through but more importantly than that she's a mother I very pride mother she's a blog at a right to and she definitely does have the coolest name for a blog I've ever come across the randomness of unicorns I don't remember when I first interviewed at I don't you read one blog and since then I've literally been binging on a blog because that very thought provoking the very honest very rule and straight to the point is very authentic and I absolutely love that about how this story so hopefully find issues for that one once again thank you for taking time out of your day to listen to the show to support the show because obviously times are mostly poor commodity so I'm fully appreciative of you taking time night and obviously I want to make this show for you guys %HESITATION we're trying to give you the most by did you hence why have people love my previous guests and I was the L. today giving you amazing was a was them and hopefully tangible takeaways the you can take I find more happiness for filbert in your own lives so without further ado let's get the city on the way so out firstly how you doing today I'm good thank you having I'm very well thank you so before we begin I think it's very important obviously for the lessons of the show to get an insight in relation to who we have on the show today so I'll if you wouldn't mind if you could just kind of give us a little bit about your life a bit biased summary and maybe tell us what brings you here today find your voice okay %HESITATION while I'm a ransom demand for what he is and the last six or seven years and I started a blog and about the same time the guy and and like you said it's more of a thought provoking cloak and I know it's a lot of books intellect lifestyle Ole and health and fitness I guess it's kind of one of those things and based on my experiences are kind of and put together in a AM sometimes the locker a fictional fashion %HESITATION and that non fiction depends well %HESITATION on delivering and try and get people to kind of think about things just a little bit more than they usually work and and with regards to mental health and I started a mental help local media files three months ago I am often in the mental health condition for quite awhile and then I decided that it would be quite good if I was quite a bit about and in order to kind of let people know that unite the someone up a lot since the same way and because I felt and like I was the only one that felt how I felt and kind of reading other people's blogs and and getting on Instagram and things like that honest and the help me celesta locked in something I'm sorry to have a joke and but my passion absolute passion is rising and I do not rely on colleges that the sign just cough you said you did something full time yes so I have a day job okay and a working schools the danger and and yeah on what %HESITATION outside of work yeah he just touched on something really nice day which was %HESITATION that you I won't put felt that the stuff you're going through that you were long without and also because obviously the more now you start share your blogs and stuff you realize it actually especially mental health is not something that is exclusive to one person is definitely not on I feel like and I feel like in a way wall and on the phone with is a positive thing because the things I see in the world where people don't talk about certain things and I can be like some cool so I have to be am I see is a kind of mission to be honest about how the film one banker a side everyone else can see that I'm going to be the same in the wilderness together people in the dark winter will sign I learned it also left a message out that's pretty much the whole purpose behind the show find your voice but I love that we able to get someone he's almost finding their voice although through a blog having that same positive thing and for someone to go through mental health and have a positive swam issue to say has it always been that easy to see as a positive or was it something that through your blogging of maybe two year journey that you've been able to kind of see as a positive all of us well I want to say that it's not easy I'm I'm I'm able to say and I believe it I want people to know that use me just because I'm saying it now they are not days doesn't mean that they're in the days when I find it difficult to side so just wanna make that very clear thank think that you know on the full picture and I'm just you know completely accomplished and it's almost kind citing now because it's not because I'm mental health is kind of a consigna we'll have mental health and some of us have elements will help and then there are days with quite difficult to see those things that these the reminders I tell myself and in order to try and get me back on top it has taken quite a while the current displaced symphony and it does get better and then there are things that can help and you can help yourself more than you realize I don't think it's really commendable and and I can only judge you for sharing your abilities and somebody like yourself you has these incredible thought provoking blogs and does this amazing work out there too and she said you know what is that you don't like this every single day some days are bad some days all good and I tried to put that through find your voice in this is the whole purpose of the show is to show you these incredible people like yourself you are doing amazing things in the world but also showing you achieve they also feel just like you and me can only just out of a little bit more to the iPhone made the whole mental health and depression with yourself how did that kind of stem is not been something that you've lived with for a prolonged period of time %HESITATION has a comment more recently and so I would say it's a long period of time I think and it's not about four years ago and I was quite on well I had an operation that didn't go so well and it was actually needs to be quite a simple procedure and for the when not and my health kind of to tear it off the bat and I started to struggle with and as I say and and I think most of the time when it starts with anxiety depression comes in and from being unite sunsets hide under the the level of anxiety that yourself from it and isn't it possible that you'll need to talk and and a kind of been up and down up and down with that and is the most recently this year and I've been off work for quite awhile Austin I think about five months of work and an arrest rate the number and size he that was just just slows debilitate him am I spell into me in my head it was like I have to take a step away from my house take a break and not break man United not being able to guess what can kind of taking it step by step to unite basics like getting out the house and you know it goes into the shop doing things and and that was just it was reading reading needed or not and ashamed of having to take time of what or and you know needing further help I reached out for help and also quite a long time %HESITATION and it says services to do with mental health in the U. K. I'm not the best unfortunately and %HESITATION I did reach out and and yeah that's kind of China find my way from that place up works thank you for sharing that I am so I'll I like what you just said that you were in a shamed of asking for help and I can only imagine for some people this thing that might be an actual problem it what should be an obstacle what would you you sort of just hardware this without sounding too clumsy have you got any pieces of advice or anything that you could maybe just say sorry for putting you on the spot here to somebody you may fail slightly ashamed or maybe that they don't have somebody that they can reach out to confided %HESITATION I would say that what you're going through is not unique it is not just you and the happiest of people have their down days and although you may feel that you'll learn a bit more severe it doesn't you know that the similarities all that it doesn't get better unless you reach out and if you are honest about the way your freedom with the the someone around to your GP and I think it's impossible not to take someone seriously and that kind of stress and that's the best that just saying you know what I'm not eating right and haven't been seen in court for a long time and this is how I feel you may not have a name for it and that's absolutely fine describing your symptoms to someone else and I'm sure we'll get that something is valuable in order to come out and kind of new to the next that I love that I just want to touch on something now she said not all I have suffered with anxiety for I'll be say I'm I'm trying to do a lot of self affection and love self awareness in terms of going back into my story and I think it really stemmed from around the age of eleven or twelve or nobody to secondary school and I think when I went second school it was a grammar school so his boys school I went from being the smartest kid to no longer be the smartest kid in a lot of things start to change and more confidence definitely took %HESITATION hovering in going back to the point you mentioned getting tired from exile Ian as you said that a lot of just switched on because I've never linked more tied this tunes I. E. and I am very health conscious and sometimes I'd sit there and I'll be like I Ian right off hydrate I've exercise I've slept well why do I fail almost apology cool we just kind of tired of the you've hit the nail on the head that because a lot of it is just nervous energy dom always kind of trying to harness analyst trying to push down or the time that sometime just leaves me feeling black if if the yes any sense of where he was listening and you kind of get in those into something that's something that she deftly raises a flag and maybe then do what I was just mentioning times just reaching out and it won't get better until we take that first step so I'm always conscious of trying to make that first step and not almost ending in pressure because a similar depression is done to my family and I can only sympathize with people who are going through because it is real and although we don't see on the surface is something that we definitely need to be more mindful of so thank you for sharing that I off of the seats %HESITATION it's a personal matter but I know that you are blocking it is something that I only read one if I'm being completely transparent I really did enjoy you said a call which resonated with me from the start which was we take for granted what works well how does automatic about bodies and I love that because it's only until it's gone is only until I started because we shy and I just and fearful of do we support things that speaking to people looking people in the eye that I realized high we'll check it out for granted and of see for yourself I'm sure it's more of a health perspective so if we look at today than what's your routine like in terms of how do you call open how do you best put the odds in your favor to daily basis am I think the best thing at is sleek estable and I've noticed a big difference between how I feel and throughout the day even when I was like related to the topic I haven't months I will try to make sure go really good and it's time routine okay %HESITATION skews me and and that involves not just making sure I get to bed at a decent time and kind of relax and unwind it at night also when I get up having another routine energizing say that good balance is having equal because I find that once your sleep and as soon as you wake up your mind just %HESITATION into your and default habit is it connected I would just bring you down straight away and cast them as soon as you get up and that's important and I will say fine not exercise is quite good on charts and be active in the morning last night a minute and it could be something like yoga it could be like her you know like it's not being made %HESITATION something that gets hot race and the thirty minutes is cool down the stretch and breakfast is something off on us meeting Poulsen minute can instantly change on and you know from not having a and set to email and screen a much brighter and I'm with the I think goes along with Warsaw will taste some quarters and people underestimate how much work is I am not able to the body not just a pretty good mind as well and and they can show you okay and at least at least sat in a push it to to the specific time until at least early to abort and a day it's quite good am I stay away from caffeine sledding have any local fuel energy drinks or anything like that is he doing and I'm kind of %HESITATION meditation as well helps and I meditate throughout the day on the one comical right and I'll take five minutes to do meditation when I get out of bed right they wanted to meditational on unlock the inspirational videos to watch on YouTube or something %HESITATION and then at night the same thing meditation as well trying to keep the mind still for a day in order to just you know call on the booking the nervous system Justin and I just wanna ask on the meditation so I recently heard somebody mention meditation I mean I see a lot of people have been saying meditation is really really great tens of come in still in almost becoming present in the moment there was somebody else though he said something quite interesting although an expense that speaks about meditation Ascham so out of forty that is you %HESITATION what this individual she said was that he understands the whole premise behind being stay %HESITATION and kind of get you those tools and just leave it on a site what he actually said was that he kind of technologies he sports not he didn't go too much into the detail in terms of the whole practice have you any thoughts on that is it something that you do acknowledge all you've said negative thinking you may be trying to change it for a positive or is it the tree just twenty K. your thoughts in those five minutes it is impossible to create your force completely there is nine these can obtain you know it's not possible to have a moment where you're not thinking anything the mind is always always thinking always when I can the point is that you'll you'll able to acknowledge support or not let them conceding your mind is working you say it's okay to think and my therapist once knew well in it if I tell you what call peak wind chime burning on my head and now I do not I don't want you to think about wind chime twenty on the hunt can you do that she gave impossible Justin conquer it so it's about and I'll put it in terms of something I hadn't had space it's not costing ships so what comes into your head and not some issue %HESITATION and and the critical map hawks and another woman coming some older ask Warren out calls another one not combat anxious tool just a cost of knowledge it and it's no question I love the I think now he makes a lot more sense what he was trying to say because just misinterpreted it so it's all about acknowledging it nothing what you just said there were tens of this impossible to not to think of something I'm glad you said that because I've tried to meditate numerous times and I feel like every guest side not have especially recently they say this is a part of the routine and the reason I asked that question is because I want to take tips from people who have a high level of thinking will have been through more experiences and myself or just something that I feel would help me in my life and hopefully help listeners so just knowing that it's impossible not to think of stuff definitely helps me because when I sat there for five or six minutes I'm thinking about the most crazy things hello to all was that the things I don't want to be thinking about and then you almost conceive yourself and you'll get irritated could you think of the even more of a like your example just there so that's interesting I think well you need to do is I'm not actually trying to categorize and be like okay this is maybe a point a store this is a negative thought let's just trying to be the on and I like the posse ships ID out city a similar thing I think it was by prince EA where he had almost like a radio show frequency and he was kind of scene is in the post that %HESITATION possibly was like you just change the station basically so as a civilian ninety so thank you for sharing that in terms of your diet and then when I ask this because diet for me is just as in pourtant as the stuff you boys top brains so is your diet consisted of anything in particular are you quite flexible in terms of what you have %HESITATION it is it does consist of particular things out for instance I try to limit my sugar %HESITATION I actually gave up sugar for fund raising a couple months ago and and and I decided to keep it going it was literally no junk food and and anything with added sugar was not allow natural sugars like honey and three were allowed and but I didn't have anything and I found that when I start to to go back to ship a couple months later I realize the effect it had on my body so it would make me a sugar Russians work it may it will make me anxious or something because my body was just in that lot quite quickly I was just didn't know what to do and sorrow now what time he should get in in moderation and after having given out by accident can seem the same should I take before and which also helps on it be helpful our water as I say I engine Wilson sparkling water %HESITATION committee which most people don't live by law welcome aboard with lemon if you wanna make it more exciting playing well and was never went skiing %HESITATION I tried a I a lot for it and I. E. about ninety four this is a free trial offer and and making sure I have this isn't to say the big one is a must I'm absolute most is no way that you can have like one number eight or nine hours sleep wake up in the E. anything expect to be your best the day is just not gonna happen sign and breakfast I usually have a smoothie that been with me to what can they be like cordial cereal in the morning and ties Stefan put it as well and just and engine of was up okay fantastic so I was a key laughing healthy through that so I'm agreeing with pretty much everything you say and I love the steeple of the water and even the head space the only thing I was nodding a case was a spotty boy Paul will try it I can't stand and once as far as I'm going to a shop and I picked up the wrong one enough open the bonnet drinking why is this it's a horrible bit somewhere I'm definitely trying to let me and I'll let you know how that goes definitely I'm just interested actually you mention of fund raisers all was a fundraiser for that was full and cancer research that was back in February Newton locker a campaign called motion with regular and and and to be honest I was a sugar addict ripple that sugar was just my wife and I was like some people drink I eat sugar all the same at the time and they were all kinds of withdrawal symptoms but it was so worth it am I asked you to sugar has just changed I'm able to go without it now absolutely fine and when I do have a I have the in such small amounts now and it's just been a change great for testing good on you and was it kinds of for any particular reason or was it just because that was what was going on at the time and it was just for cancer research my story was and my name has awesome cancer quite he is a great breast cancer and I'm fortunate a couple years ago and my best friend passed away and she was under thirteen which cost right arm from breast cancer celebrities I'm sorry to hear about you not in your best friend cancer is obviously something I've spoken about on the show we've had some people you have actually lost love ones is always concert say it's a horrible illness and something that I think if any will confront raise anything and if next yeah they do that again why I'm a bit of a sugar addict so I do not mind is that so would definitely and I'm putting this live on Showtime is as committed to come before %HESITATION defeat join you on that journey because %HESITATION I'd love I'd love to help and %HESITATION race anyway dispenses so count me in next year then went off to do together yeah absolutely fantastic Britain so okay somebody seguindo but nice so I think that this is always to get to know you a little bit now in terms of you got routine you're obviously struck on trying to make an impact to your words more so probably than your voice at the minute but I'm very glad to see have you tell your story as well what I want to do is I want to touch on that time of adversity that you've been through in your life but more importantly what I want to do is if you could give sorry the listeners maybe the lessons that you've learned from it and %HESITATION Weiss tool you in that moment I think M. instead of what one particular situation there have been moments when our style right life is over for one of the great work and I'm I would say those difficult times news and greedy documents I stopped works and what I've learned is that a call and sometimes it's about the account in the second now you don't know how you can get through the day but if you can count five I'm in stock and then count the number five and I keep going until the seed impulses because of our redemption a lot and eight instead of eighteen holes I can't say the same for the passcode on past meetings and so those times have been very very technical and and looking back I feel like if it were to notify chose to go down that route and kind of you know and and my last that would have been hurt a AM a split second decision based on on something that I thought would make the and actually did it didn't and an inmate at best really hard to remember the moment it is something that and United we should it should stay with us it would help me Armin publicly %HESITATION have been a little time off work and hundred something I found difficult not only having time off work with dealing with why I was having time with work and not being ashamed of why I was having time to work and kind of being honest about why I was not black and and then got in fact we all do it I'm trying to get back into a routine which route one and try to get back on the whole wasn't specially checking well it can be done hello dotted nestled in very tangible is something that we can all probably take away not so much myself personally in terms of that life is over movement and I'm just grateful that you oversee realizing that moment it would have been a split second decision in office you chose that though the one dog I'm happy that you did but I just think that thing you said then as you're saying it about it will pass it good old body motions and just kind to five second the thing that's really really important when you say five seconds it it almost becomes something that you can achieve in city do so from telling someone just get for the I was there almost rolling their eyes at me thinking well you don't know what I'm going through this particular moment but if you just ask someone maybe just I don't control your breathing think about the next five seconds trying get through that just try to get through that and like you said it will pass and I think that's really really important because I am a worry yeah I I've got kind of pass away something very trivial could go wrong and I'm I'm screaming thinking it's the end of the world I've been not person and virtually consume myself and made myself %HESITATION from it and I think I'm in a much better place now and I just want to throw a mild all day on this not expel any ball I've recently read a book and it was recommended by my best friend is scored hime stop where you can start living by dell Carnegie so if anyone ever has an opportunity I'm not even sure if you've read that before out or if you actually need to but if you have it maybe for yourself in a state of war you wait ways consuming you that book is absolutely fantastic because what it would do is give you real life examples of people he almost concede that lies and died from stress because there's a great quote that says that it's not hard with that will kill you such you stress and stress has so many complications to it so if we can limit people stressed but you do use the five second rule which I think is Britney put for use not book I think would be a much better place now see that's what would be trying to do with the show so it thank you for sharing that I love that I hope you read much much better place now obvious you've got a lot more self awareness and a lot more tools in your tool kit so yeah thank you for that welcome and knowing what you know not and I'll what's your biggest fear %HESITATION gosh I think my biggest there %HESITATION I think a couple of things one of them is that I will hit my list again dot it's it's and go really well now and I feel good a nice days but there will be a point where I will kind of lose control of myself and and Hitchcock out for milk and then just two hundred square one if you want to call it and and not only that but I still like him the I don't wanna live alliance will run kind of as I felt fighting against my mental health and you know when I when I get older and I you know and talk on my desk get away from I'm just going to want to look back and silicon I didn't make the list the console was so focused on the in this thing out you'll be in this thing out I didn't have any experience is not an insurance so I don't have anything to show for my life on the don't have any good memories a pox on mental health statistics yeah it is and what not I'm just trying to model is that because of some not medically qualified to respond in relation to giving you kind of advice in that book when you said that he's controlled and hit your lowest again the reason that struck me love it was because my mom has been going through front page for eight years and I think that's probably her biggest fear and it's not fair over to want to go back and we sit there we you know we bounce ideas back and forth because touch wood it hasn't happened and things don't be forward three steps and will probably take two steps back Casey three steps back %HESITATION but one of the things is always always in the back you have that one day I've been in a bad situation and previously I was also in that situation is also is knowing that they're tough hasn't always been a part of me if that makes sense yeah and then dot com dries be from complete your somebody I still suffer with the silliest of I'm just moments in terms of just asking people questions of speaking to strangers and I have all these weird things that still can see me but I know there was a kid back then weather is the age of ten or eleven he wasn't afraid of anything and I kind of welcome myself daily to try to get that back and I have kind of shifted it I suppose slightly different yourself where is I don't want to be the I'm just going the only reason I don't mind that is because I want people to draw strength from that to see how to describe it he has suffered with anxiety he was always able to charge from or the teachers or the pay is for more work reports my colleagues but he's very quiet yeah here I'm not I've do not a lot of podcasts across the world so that's kind of I suppose life spirit I think you're definitely much more than somebody with mental health I mean this is just a very brief conversation but even through your blogging and I can be be touch and I'm sure there's other stuff that you bring to the vote that will always leave a legacy other than just somebody who had left the house so please never feel like that the presenter thank you so much you're very welcome I don't want to leave you then hopefully towards something that will cheer you up hopefully which is if I could say to you tomorrow we can take I think is and you can wake up and you could live fuel today what would be that they fool and it will probably involve right and someone and on the beach on a beach chair then and yeah it always involves words when I think of things that make me happy is and yeah something up and I'm just not in not that will kind of make me feel welcome I'm powerful locked into anything I could be somewhere in nineteen eighty seven I really enjoy and those kind of things not listening and you remember that there's more to this than absolutely %HESITATION her license absolutely I mean in relation to your your way it's and that you put so beautifully in your in your blog have you got any visions of maybe write books soul publishing house where was it just blogging that you really enjoy doing %HESITATION I'd love to write protection okay I have been working on something for a while and anxiety based and I'm not just I love him what's gonna on a small like and what could happen in the kind of connection as a book or books not will meet and greet and then select need quite absolutely absolutely I think you'd be great so we are actually going to completely different Polish on this policy was not something that you would have any idea about because I haven't told you about it but long story short it's going to be sixty to ninety seconds of just a bit of fun where we're going to ask you random questions just questions not related to your face T. not relate to anything I suppose that we could consider talking to put them in the bed covers so if you give the listeners a little bit more about your personality so %HESITATION whenever you're ready we're gonna get side okay coke north okay list nine three two one out if you could abolish one thing in the world what would it be the death penalty your favorite hobby all rights and what are you sickly good out then nobody does %HESITATION crochet your biggest role model another consul in okay no problem and what would you like to be remembered for the positive happy I'm not missing people whenever they need to your biggest goal this year %HESITATION that would have green star in the mental health block and going back to work if you wish mistake being ashamed of having a mental health issue if you could relive one day again what day would it be identical words I think I'm I'm happy because the ability to fly it will be visible out the invisible instead of five the number one thing that I'm doing easy old five nine as please behind he's been on season nineteen money or fame citing that is you can use it positively and is lost money and it's a welcome pixie cheerfulness if you could sit with one person in the world for an a he would it be I think it will be mine and hit with a what is your biggest addiction %HESITATION buying books I'm not read in them your favorite motivational speaker would you rather know how you would die when you were done how your favorite place in the world my bed I think your favorite song ever Gabrielle by the late eighties junior each important event read my school predict the future read my finally your favorite CPO %HESITATION Wonder Woman what has he won the woman of my own how do you find that %HESITATION with excitement level good good good I just think it's always useful because sometimes we doubt so much into the stories of people I want the %HESITATION listeners to just get to know a little bit more about you intend your personality now those really interesting okay so we're almost at you at the end of the show where we just got two questions left one is going to be about legacy but before we got to that question I want to ask you about reflection also I'm a firm believer the hindsight is a wonderful thing as upon reflection we can always think of ways to get to where we are currently easier quick out with less heartache but I'm also a firm believer that the Jedi teaches us so much and that everything happens for a reason so what I want and always knowing exactly what you know now everything all your wisdom and everything if you could take that back to a younger out and whisper something into is maybe when she was a little bit anxious so confused in life what would you say I think I would say am I'll say it gets passed on it's going to get that song and your going to get better you're gonna involve so much as a constant and and and so and health issue is actually going to be something that can be a positive it's gonna be a superpower learn so much about yourself and you actually can pass any boys one at eight eight the competition you have to speak up I love that and suddenly that she does bring this to the last part of the show which is about legacy harm so now if in a hundred fifty years time signs found to say you me and everyone around us but all that exists is a book and this book is about you and it's about will be credible amazing things that you've done all the ups and downs as well festival with the title of the book say second what the Blair but the back tell us about you the title %HESITATION gonna change the blacklist okay the the black would say it would be a story about a woman who felt like and life was about to end multiple times actually she was she was really strong just hanging on and then when she realized that she was actually really strong and she was crying on her life changed completely and as for title nine and I'm thinking of Harry potter because I love have reports as it might be when he left which is the first chapter of the article yeah that's right yeah the woman in the and also just one out of the blood B. as I'm so glad that you never ended and then I do acknowledge restaurant is on and I just love the bit about not being ashamed and I just hope that people can take and draw strength from your story %HESITATION intensive let's not be ashamed of what we may consider floors because it can truly be a super power he can truly be our gift I'm a firm believer that I'd face T. although in that moment you might be thinking its debt to crumble you and kind of take away from you but in hindsight when I seriously sit back and think about with that the hardships of being through the stories I've heard from incredible gesso yourself it's achieve those moments where we sometimes find a purpose or we sometimes find that ability to tap into something that is cussing credible then maybe that's transpires for your writing as well because I I gave out I'm taking a guess it but I reckon you'll run you so much will power for now because it's probably so much emotion and experience that you've been through that you can put on to paper when you write those stories because your experiences so %HESITATION I always try to use that exist as a gift I know it's a bit key shape but I just don't want people to see as you know why the world after me because I don't believe this there are just because again it comes out about those cities that those W. touching the meat is a touch to stuff that can really detail life so well I actually just right thank you for sharing the what you said about most everything find out just before we leave the show and I give the listeners a chance to connect with you I want to ask is there anything that you wish that maybe I could have asked you that you would want to check with my %HESITATION distance %HESITATION yeah actually yeah right I have two children as well and I'm not just once that anyone here is suffering with the return of mental illness or mental health and they have children it's quite possible and to come thirty minutes a day even then you are responsible for that one yeah I love that I can I just ask that she just to touch that what's the number one thing you would do like maybe the people around you people who come in contact with you to do the reason I asked that already could you give United just in case that it didn't make complete sentences when I sat with my mom and I asked the what would you have liked because initially when she went through depression we have no idea what it was and especially coming from an Asian family was definite to be subject so is almost like why you depressed you know you've got you've got a house you gonna call you kids to find it is always that kind of mentality that surrounded it I'm obviously has been became more away with it and be understood it %HESITATION and so that you know it's it's a real illness one of the things she said to me because if you use that it was I just wanted someone to listen yeah I I didn't necessarily want to solve it because I knew you couldn't solve it well maybe just listen so is this something maybe it could be the same months or something that you'd maybe those people out there who may have somebody suffer with depression random what would you recommend and yes that is just listening and schools I remember that it's not a material thing it's not a physical thing it's not a situational thing although it can come from something that is environmental and it is perception abdomen lay side you know the person is talking to the pace of how they do things and how they feel about things you kind of a new team Hanson and saying well you know you have a coloring book well the war eagle to be sad about it's not going to do this by listening and bear in mind mind while still listening I'm kind of pinpoint and then to to crisis that can help you out thank you I love that thank you for sharing that and just as we finish the show now what is the best place that people can connect with you which of blogs and just maybe say hi if that's okay with you %HESITATION Instagram I love Instagram prohibit Tina my acts is L. formosa on to school LD and am I've got my dog on that and will say my email sighted people can can email me and my team always and I always say I haven't got Jay and me we can relate to something I placed hit me up in the T. I model is just once he left out of that message so I H. everyone to follow this amazing woman he's been very brave to share a story on today's episode of find your voice our thank you for taking time out of your day for sure you store and I wanna hold thanks for listening thanking and remember this podcast is absolutely free so all we ask in return is for you to share this with a friend and drop us a five star review over on iTunes have an awesome day

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"They say you can't but you did" #37 by Zachary Babcock

Tagline: "You can be a former crack head or prisoner who did over 10 years plus and still design your life how you want it"

An amazing story of someone who has opened his life and story up for the world to see. Not ashamed to admit his flaws, past troubles and problems Zachary Babcock (Zach) tells a story of taking drugs, (crack), losing his sister and spending years of his life in prison. He also missed out on precious moments, he can never recover, such as the birth of his first child.

But as with all of us, we have many opportunities in life where we have a choice to make. It is that choice that will dictate the rest of our existence, if we allow it too and make a change. Zach focuses on a victor mentality and ridicules and despises victim mentalities on the whole. He is a firm believer that our mindset and beliefs are more important than our current circumstances. But what is better than that, is that he practices what he preaches and executes from a victor mindset.

Since doing this, Zach has turned his life around. He had a moment, which he speaks about in this episode which started his turnaround into entrepreneurship. He has since become a top 200 iTunes rated podcast for his incredible show, the Underdog Empowerment. In true Rocky style, Zach continues to change his story, one chapter at a time. Leaving behind his non serving old habits and changing the lives not just for him, but his family and those who he comes in contact with.

Key talking points in this episode:

1. The problem with a victim mentality
2. The psychology behind wanting to fit in
3. Finding happiness and peace in life
4. Overcoming drugs and prison
5. The importance of health as an area in our life

I sincerely hope this episode provides you genuine value. I also urge you to follow Zach's journey if it resonated with you, or if you enjoyed this.

Thanks for listening

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Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

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Links to guest:

Website: https://underdogempowerment.com/

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/winwithzachb/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/zacharyjbabcock/

Pippa transcript:

welcome to an episode of find your voice a movement led by yours truly Aren Deu a guy who was overcome crippling anxiety adversity and difficulty like so many of you in life whose main goal now is to help you combat your excuses take control of your life write your own story and most importantly find your voice so now without further ado I welcome the host of the show himself Mr Aren Deu what's going on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice my name is Aren and as always I am the host of the show so I'm delighted to have to bring to you today Zachary Babcock he is the proud owner of the underdog empowerment movement now was that you could be thinking well if you've been living under a rock dot is one of the biggest podcasts going in fact this guy has gone from literally living with convicted felons in prison to rubbing elbows in multi millionaires on it to view them on his podcast so he's had people I I'm due for sale at the real Bradley I'm talking big big people and hopefully one day hello sign of me too but for now I've I've got him on the show and we take a deep dive into his life and yet this year everything that he's been through they also put him on the spot as well with some questions that he's never actually been asked before so M. dot is a thumbs up to myself and on to the questions but more importantly let's jump into this episode because you're gonna get a lot of times will take away a lot of knowledge is going to inspire use also gonna teach you that irrespective of your circumstances where you come from you can achieve anything you want so I wanted just thought them by if you wouldn't mind for my list is if you can just kind of give us a summary about yourself a little bit about your story what basically brings you here today man %HESITATION that's a great question you know we all got we all have a long story %HESITATION I mean we all get we all got our own you know what I mean you know that find your find voice man %HESITATION so I'll keep I'll keep you can determine if we won %HESITATION pack anymore totally this chill dude but up did I %HESITATION I grew fight a father figure he died when I was seven and I did a lot of things %HESITATION to fit in with the quote unquote cool crowd %HESITATION because that is the one to fit in but here's the deal man a lot of people say local I don't care what other people think will was that can cause on your show may you can do whatever you want cool man right appreciate that that's bullshit if you say that %HESITATION you don't care what other people think because we're social creatures man we all care to an extent and with other words one of our biggest fears is being outcast and by the tribe %HESITATION from our tribe %HESITATION so so but I I took this little bit overboard may now try to fit in a little bit more than than what others did %HESITATION because I you know I just want to be accepted well long story short man this led to a bunch of this stupid mistakes have no purpose nothing no chief aim grown up and I got by the time I was nineteen I had got caught some cases and I went away to prison for over four years my life on a seven year sentence %HESITATION learned a lot lot of stuff happened in their lot of life changing transformational things that happen in there that we could diving deeper later on but I got out by the time I was ten miles twenty three got out can I have my sub together but not all the way %HESITATION I got this one job after %HESITATION have an and another job on the sales team and I did really well I got promoted right away that I got fired and I use as an excuse to kind of like throw my life away %HESITATION a and I ended up going back to prison twenty days for my twin sons were born and bro that was it man that was %HESITATION that was the the straw that broke the camel's back and I made a decision right there in that jail cell knowing that I was get re missed the birth of my twin sons that I was going to change my life and %HESITATION ever since then I've been moving in a different direction why firstly brother I I can lead you sharing that and thank you for sharing everything that you said they especially someone abilities so the first one that you mentioned was of the sea we also ship creatures and as much as we pretend in society not to want to fit in you're absolutely right we all want to be like you want to be hired hello all want to touch on is more your personal story and we're going to that moment we set up see that was the straw that broke the camel's back when your twins that you never got to see that Beth prison talk to me about prison because I'm see that's not something that many of my list as will be familiar with I've been fortunate to have worked in a prison for six months and as somebody working there I'm gonna be completely honest it scared me half to death knives specially the whole element where your freedoms taken away from you so if you wouldn't mind if you could just kind of touch a little bit maybe on your time in prison especially like when you first got that mean what were the things running through your mind and then obviously you end up going back there again yeah man %HESITATION the first time when I when I first went in Alice Meynell scared to death you know they got you here all the horrible things about it and I was nineteen years old you know %HESITATION on the outside I try to act like a total bad ass but on the inside I was I was you know I was I was scared man %HESITATION be no I got there and quickly adapted in quickly learn how the social dynamics work man mind your own business stand on your own shit even if you can't fight don't let nobody punk you %HESITATION that's pretty much it man and %HESITATION but when I was there %HESITATION dude it's like about two years into a bro %HESITATION I was %HESITATION twenty one years old and how it's in the hole which the whole it's the prison inside the prison which you already know but %HESITATION free by listening to it's like you you get your in this tiny little cell many could walk three steps one way three steps the nexus cold dark E. gloomy depressing you have very little to no human interaction %HESITATION and I'm down there for some tattoo violations I've gotten %HESITATION for being you know being a knucklehead obviously also my rebellious stage and now when they get the call me back to the captain's office and I'm thinking immediately like men so my told told on me for something that I that didn't get in trouble for yet are they trying to get me to tell somebody else I ain't saying nothing and %HESITATION they brought me back there you sit behind his desk with his white shirt on his goal badge black cat mean mug on its face is like have a seat I'm like man I you know well for what he's like you know you how in a lock them so background like me for two years many young get me in for let them put me back on myself as a man you know when you come back here you know it's nothing good right %HESITATION as I do I don't give a fuck this will be back in my so you get me for two months I don't have nothing to say in these like do we got a call over the weekend and %HESITATION your mom's informers it should break into a bathroom and founder sister dead on the floor of a needle in arm and %HESITATION the A. do odd that was brought that there was a digit last thing I was expecting in a moment %HESITATION like a little like blacked out and came back to in like this the journal and burst through me in tears are flowing down my face and they gave me a a thirty second phone call to my mom and and we're on the phone ball in our eyes out telling each other we love each other than the phone hangs up in and then they put me back in my cell and has to be put in so but by myself but here's the part that I feel will %HESITATION really help %HESITATION you know can really in power some somebody it sure sure to help empower me but %HESITATION I went back in my cell man and I'm in there by myself no humans no nothing %HESITATION and for three days and then get out of my bed all I could think about was all the mean things ever said and did my sister in the goodbye that I never get the teller and I'm sitting there crying trying to think about all the shit and literally going crazy and they're of no by didn't get out of my bed to eat just got up to use Russian that sit %HESITATION but on the third day though bro I woke up and I was like dude I don't know why I'm still here but I got to be here for a reason what can I do right now to find happiness and peace and OB it was crazy makers it folk it got me to focus on the power that I did have in that situation even though I was trapped in the eight by tens on any have much freedom I focus on the freedoms that I did have by asking the right questions and I've developed this crazy %HESITATION CD routine where I was cleaning my cell working out each day like it was it was insane but it got me to find peace and happiness in a really dark time and that was when the pivotal moments and it's crazy because I was in two thousand and ten bro I don't even read self help books in but later on you know you are reading a book awaken the giant within Tony Robbins says man the quote your questions you ask yourself determine the quality of your life and absolutely yeah if you ask a question you got to focus on like right now as to what color your shoes you're thinking about the color of your shoes because your brain has the answer question this how work so the key there is you know when we all get in all situations you know we've all been there I've done this to where it feels like the world crumbling around you and there's no light at the end of the tunnel %HESITATION a lot of times we'll ask ourselves the wrong questions will ask yourselves %HESITATION wise you should always gonna happen to me or what is this and that's that's the wrong question because if you think about it why does this always have to happen to me now you're looking for the reason why this always happens instead of instead of what can I do right now to bring you one step so my goal or in my case in my situation when I said was what can I do right now to find happiness and peace so it's about those questions that we ask ourselves this beautiful man I really appreciate you saying that face the I just %HESITATION someone sincere condolences obviously toward your sister but at the same time it was it's kind of like with the case you got the gift of you really finding happiness and peace and you touched on it they let you didn't need to read a self help book in order to to find this and your perception change and it's something that I encourage all my listeners because a lot of the stories on the show are about investing in people who have gone through tough times like yourself where this stuff with sometimes you call control it and again it all comes down to that question and we normally have this perception and you know it might it says this about but the world is not happening to you it's happening for you and I I took that on in a kind of just switched it on while I try to do nice when adversity kicks me in the ass on a daily basis so something bad happens I'm not expecting always say what's the lesson the most trying to teach me neither what can I learn from this what's my growing opportunity in this moment and not for me I can get my brain working in the right way where is I'll be completely honest back in the day I had a victim mentality way like you said like you probably had been you before you went into prison we think it all this bad stuff happened to me so it's B. you for that you got to that place it's just a shame obviously you have to go through that level of adversity and have that the second call with your mom where you had that tragic news but I think that's a lesson for our listeners to take home and not wait for something bad to happen basically in their life for them to kind of get that lesson and bassist Oscar the right questions not so thank you for sharing that with I really appreciate it no doubt man for sure and I just want to ask another question if I made so in prison having come out of it nine for a second time what's the biggest lesson that you rent man it's definitely it's definitely %HESITATION this in and it's it's another situation where I kind of figure this stuff out on my own before I even knew what self help books were and then I read the book in as like a hot it makes perfect sense that ties it all together but man no matter what man it no matter what dude %HESITATION you know there's be shit that happens in life where you live you know kind of what you're going about wait like with that Miley like doesn't happen to you happens for you but there's that there's going to be those adverse situations in life that the you literally have no control over Blake you get like you you you you you always have the control but there's gonna be circumstances that you can't prevent from happening like like legit legit things he gets up like a a tornado right now could come through in tear down your house and in the end and you could lose your family god for bid that happens but like that could happen right you have no control over that and %HESITATION and and then you know you can decide to be bitter about a in and kill yourself or go out and do harmful things other people because you know you lost your family in your house and %HESITATION or you could decide to do absolutely nothing about and to stay where you're at and just not move at all or we could decide to go out internalize that pain go out do good with it regardless of what you choose to do though it's it's your freedom to make that choice of what to do moving forward so at the end of the day even though situations that you have no control over you always have complete one hundred percent control over how you respond to those situations so you always have that freedom you could be stripped down to the very last freedom of all human freedoms and that's one thing that nobody can take away from you so you all always in power and %HESITATION Victor Frankel really tied that together for me %HESITATION in the book a man's search for meaning %HESITATION it's a crazy good book most transformational book I've ever read %HESITATION but he was in the Nazi using the not Nazi death camps getting brutally tortured all of his friends in their diet daily just like made my prisons they look like a little daycare for real honestly but %HESITATION but I he talks about men that outside stimulus you know for every stimulus that outside stimulus there's a response to that stimulus but in between that in between that stimulus and that in your responses your freedom to choose that response that you always one hundred percent have control over this powerhouse without not spread out definitely I'd Victor findings book yeah dude I it's hands down the most transformational book I've ever read it's a really short read to it's like a hundred some pages the first half of the book he details in detail like it's pretty brutal to man %HESITATION his like experience in prison then he's also %HESITATION up up up psychologists and stuff and he %HESITATION the second half is like %HESITATION going into the psychology of what happened to it it's pretty crazy fantastic Britain so hopefully the listeners and I'm myself obviously will get on that but you just sent a brilliant point day I nothing this is a gain one of the premises behind the show is like you said we can always choose the cards that were dealt with so sometimes some of us might have been easier than others and sometimes you can get something as external as a hurricane or just a freak in a worldwide event where it can really disrupt your life but you hit the nail on the head we said we actually have a hundred percent control freedom and choice on how you respond and that's a decision that we we need to take control over so I think that's really really powerful I need something actually that you've done so I was following you %HESITATION after obviously I I saw you on Facebook gonna be listening to a couple of your videos and I want to ask you more about not known ask you so you've obviously going through prison now you've had a lot of adversity a lot of things have changed in your life which is change of perception and change the way that you see the road and now you're almost in a position of influence us I suppose because everything you're saying now have you not just read in a textbook and then regurgitate in it like a lot of people on social media which really wants me up you that she lived it so what do you do not want a daily basis what kind of you'll thing what are you podcast in twenty four seven %HESITATION are you doing any other projects as well yeah man right on do appreciate that %HESITATION yeah underdog empowerment %HESITATION that's a podcast sued when when I launch underdog empowerment do before it it was last year man before I launch the podcast nobody but anytime I try to collaborate anybody nobody took me seriously man I was just the the underdog are I was the the ex convict turned entrepreneur after thought that need little literally nobody gave any time of day to %HESITATION then I launch underdog empowerment out of that frustration because I was pissed man are out of that frustration I launched underdog empowerment for selfish reasons first the first fill up my Cup then also to help other underdog entrepreneurs level up his reasons first and at our other underdog ask north and in the third day he became a top two hundred podcasts and then the very next week we had Billie Jean is marketing on the show and this is been crazy had crazy people on ever since and my my my careers this exploded sense of but it was it's it's funny though because the week before the by cats no I want anything to do with me and then we get there is you know we're interviewing celebrities and shit like that but %HESITATION been it's been a ride man anybody says entrepreneurship or they can even happen overnight run the other way minutes that doesn't work that way you got to become a master of what you do and bring valuable skills to the market place we always gonna work on your skills in character am I so they can make you whatever by it implementing some bullshit magical formula that that's a lie but %HESITATION yeah man what what I do now though net is you know we do the pop podcast obviously I'm super passion about that %HESITATION in it I help I help other entrepreneurs you know start their podcast become a top two hundred podcaster interview celebrities make make make money from the podcast all that fully guaranteed in the program then we also produce it with our agency we have a full scale agency but it's crazy will make its four years ago I was in prison and now now we're here you now live and that should give people hope and I just wanna also I do that so you started this thing I think you doing fifty part because in a certain amount of time and I wanna thank you RVC for giving me the opportunity to get someone like yourself on there because I started this podcasting and initially was it was quite scary for me and it was like he wants to listen to me how are really got a message out and it's been growing quite well organically I mean nothing probably to the extent of your yourself but their eight thousand listens in six months has been one of the best and cheapest I've ever done because it's me coming over my favorite insight you someone somebody like yourself use in a position where you know what it's like for people like myself who are trying to build this genuine influence in this movement to try and help is five people and you just kind of give me a hand up so I just want to extend my hand and say thank you firstly for that and then I want to also touch on something else is that when you said you did it for yourself first I think that's a really really important point because we're in a society where especially genuinely good people always try to fill other people's Cup so fast as opposed to fit in ourselves vessel I love that you did it for selfish reasons and I can relate to that resonate with it quite well because I did find your voice initially as a selfish reason I was like I don't want to be that strike it I don't wanna be that kiddies always considered quiet %HESITATION reserve like the introvert and I was I'm gonna come out my shell and I've got a story to tell got a message and we'll show the people stories as well so really empowering but I I truly appreciate you sharing the and fantastic work I'm sure you this is just the start of the fee for your your podcast you've had great guests on the also on the facility a one of them as well he somebody who I follow as well he's %HESITATION he's a bit like marmite song on I've introduced into other people and some people are like not call Gelman if I just think he's fantastic I think he literally sort of execution with themselves looking for to %HESITATION what you do in I want to ask then so you're obviously not a in a completely different space what you said four years ago I mean you will you will imprison your life was let you upside down what's your daily routine like because I'm a firm believer that we are results of the disciplines and hobbies that we do on a daily basis so what do you do from the moment you wake up to the mom you go to sleep man routine is everything but real quick man thirty thirty thousand listens in six months he said yeah yeah can grass through those dope that's really good do ninety and you did it because you know you even though you were kind of like I don't know people take me seriously whatever you still did it though and guess what now people took it seriously at thirty thousand listens and six months that's really awesome and absolutely thank you I appreciate that yeah you bet man %HESITATION routine bro yeah that's everything man that that literally we're live with at work we're creatures a habits man do that we are human beings so everything we do is isn't over like I don't know the exact numbers ma'am but it's like up there in the nineties eighty something is everything we do is out of habit %HESITATION do I got to a point dude where yeah I came home from prison I was a beast physically dude six tag rip you know I'm saying like I was two levels fit I was feeling great and then got an entrepreneurship and then I got my priorities messed up man and I started putting business before everything else even family it was like it was business as family then health and that's and that's really completely flipped upside down that's what that's it it's it's wrong because here's the deal man I would I would I would I would sacrifice working out and eating healthy and spends on my family so that could work more my business in what I was telling myself is all I got to make this happen so we can have our time freedom and and and and have the money and and provide and we can go and traveling all this shit like that's that's bullshit man because here's the deal meant nothing nothing nothing is more important in your health nothing because like we go to go back to the filling up your Cup before you fill up any other club if you don't have your health you can't make the contribution you wanna make in life you don't have your help you can't be there for your family life if you don't have to help you can't build that biz this man I read a book man %HESITATION was really I opening for me man was called the one thing it was so simple man but it was like so one point up to one of the parts in there you give this example is like it's like imagine you're you're juggling some balls right each ball represents a different area of your life hi and you got your you got your business for one ball that you're juggling you got your your %HESITATION your family for another your your relationships or whatnot and then you got your your health on another and all these different areas of your life you're struggling these balls and he said now imagine all these balls the the business ball is is %HESITATION rubber which means if you drop it it could bounce back up but all the other balls that you're juggling their glass balls and if you drop them they can become scuffed or even worse they can shatter completely like your health so if you're not taking care of your health man I mean what what is everything else you know so I can really open it up for me man I and I %HESITATION I'd I turn that around and made that priority number one again and then my relationships is priority than my mindset mental toughness is spiritualities number two and then third as my relationships and family and then number four is %HESITATION my business but %HESITATION yeah man can a can a long winded answer but yet have answer everything in and every day I got a morning routine where I where I wake up to my little cold shower meditation then I read I do some writing that I work out and I do my number one task for the day %HESITATION every single day get that me time first man on of the and %HESITATION it's weird that you said that so the last few weeks especially so my address to a lot of it comes from light you treat people just in my family dying light from Norway I've got kinds %HESITATION high tax diseases and it's almost like I'm looking around about white people taking their health seriously until it's too late and it's something I always say that there is no wealth without health and you know we will use those cliche quotes but those a call actually I listen to a podcast you that we can really resonated with me and he says health is the crown on the well purses had not only the ill person can see I'm not when I heard that it just it just struck a chord in because we spend our whole lives and I've been there I've been I gave up a very good job to trying to hustle and grind because I was doing this for my family at the same time I could see my health was deteriorating so I think that's a brilliant message to anyone listening that yes we can still work hard we can still achieve our goals over a certain amount of time if we obviously execute but at the same time it's going to be with nothing if we don't take a health with the sewer I appreciate that thanks man I'm just moving on then I just want to also ask then so obviously your story is riddled with adversity I and it's almost like the perfect story to get all my show because I want people on my show who have been to a fifty but at the same time they're either going through it in terms of a positive Mina and coming through it or they've got to the other side and I believe you truly on the bad side of it and long may that continue and I hope now you have good fortune old wait for your life what I want to do is take you back to maybe a moment it could any moment that you choose of probably one of your biggest college where you really thought this is it this is rock bottom I'm really struggling here but knowing exactly everything that you know knives what would you tell yourself in that moment that's a good one man %HESITATION never been asked that before it's a really good question I'm you know so Hey man so that we know we talked about the the moment where you know where I found my sister was was dead and I wasn't going to be there for for a funeral and I was in a in a in a trapped in a cell that was that was pretty pretty crazy in intense %HESITATION but then waking up and not being there and knowing that I wasn't going to that learning that I was going to be there for my son's birth like that was another one and then you then you got some times where you know were even out here after B. every get now we're like for her where we didn't have you know we was like shit how we gonna pay the bills and make this happen %HESITATION so it's hard to pick just one but I'm gonna go with I'm gonna go with the %HESITATION I'm gonna go with the %HESITATION the example of my sister because when I woke up even though I I'm I realize I was going to miss out of my twin sons like I made a decision right there I was a I don't care what happens when I'm getting back home and I'm not doing this anymore %HESITATION but with my sister I was still really young and didn't have my shit together or nothing so I guess I would tell myself man in that moment man I would I would I would tell myself in that moment that %HESITATION kind of like we're talking about before man that no matter sometimes you can't control what happens at the end she is going to happen that isn't always pretty and it is and it's gonna hurt and there's gonna be sub that's gonna hurt a lot in life you know life that there's a there's a lot in an epidermal suffering in life %HESITATION but no matter what happens in through the suffering you know you always had the power to choose how you respond to it and the real power comes from finding the meaning in the suffering like what is the meaning of the suffering and that's what I did in them %HESITATION I found the meaning of like man you know I realize that Hey my sister died from a heroin overdose I'm I'm part of the reason why I'm in here in prison cells doing here want to if I keep doing the same shit like I'm gonna end up like my sister are I'm going to stay in and out of here my whole life and that's not what I want so fine and then that that meeting in that suffering and knowing that you always had the power how to respond this before I want to ask you now than so having suffered everything that you've been through and knowing that you're strong enough to obviously come out on the other side let you pick yourself up you were the underdog and now he's almost like a rocky kind of story where you've you've built yourself back up what's your biggest fear right now man my biggest fear as like as I'm sitting here with this is doing this doing this interview with you if I lift my eyes above and that's what I did as soon as the asset but with my eyes but the computer screen %HESITATION actually make a post on Facebook right this interview since we're talking about it but I'm I let my eyes but the computer screen I see my vision board which has visual representations of everything that I I want my life and it's not just money and it's not just whatever like I got a picture it's funny I got a picture of my head photoshopped on this ripped dudes body and stuff it's a funny looking yeah like I got a visual represent like leg in detail everything thing I'm I got like how much hours a day that I want to be able to just do whatever I want as far as rest meditate exercise and spend time family learn like a it represents every single area of my life I know exactly what I want life in I guess my biggest fear is not getting everything on that vision board button but not but lit bit looking back in my life and having regrets same man did I give this my all did I leave anything out on the table was or anything that I didn't do that would be my biggest fear yeah yeah I think I especially as we start to grow and we start to become more self when on the self development Jenny that's definitely one of my things is also how I told you a yeah even with this podcast how much it's it's grown in such a short amount of time I succeeded my goals by like ten fold I was hoping to get something like a thousand and this is for the yeah and I was kind of like this so much untapped potential in me and I want others to see the potential in themselves as well irrespective of the because it would out because like you said LA is finding the meaning behind the pain that we go through and always try and say to people any adverse to anything you've been through use that as fuel to kind of move you forward so and that definitely resonates with me not what we actually gonna do not I I and you obviously not had the show before but I'm going to form part of the show where I'm gonna ask you for the next sixty to ninety seconds the most random question so we just kind of split it up a bit and change the tempo so whenever you're ready may I'm just going to foster questions your wife some rapid fire let's do it if you're ready yes Sir okay if you could abolish one thing in the world what would be the victim and tell these your favorite hobby of football why are you secretly good at that nobody knows who a lot a lot of things on the plane it would might see what my good it secretly that nobody knows %HESITATION then I don't know if people know it or not but I I would say reading people like a really good like disco in any situation kind of picking up on like even the subtlest little body movements and all that stuff your biggest role model my my personal trainer man bar people bar PS check what would you like to be remembered for for being someone that that that was about as word that didn't that didn't %HESITATION break that like they didn't just talk with like actually from Phil and I wanna I wanna create through this through this program that I'm building currently %HESITATION nine percent recidivism rate nation wide of conscious freedom initiative love that your biggest goal this year well it's it's twenty one K. a month net income from the agency in ten K. a month from the Philly because this is the year I really got to get my business like really cranking because I got I'm in I'm I wanna move into more my %HESITATION impact goals of you know your legacy stuff I want to start moving into that I love that and best of luck with it if you could relive one day again what they would it be %HESITATION man I don't know if I would if I would well I don't know man a that because like I I I don't know that's a hard question for me %HESITATION might not be for the people %HESITATION man if I could relive any day it probably be it probably be the day that I missed out on my twins birth again sitting in that cell trying to imagine what they look like imagine if they look like their dad or not %HESITATION just because it was so painful that day and just the feel that pain again just to keep me humble and grounded the ability to fly %HESITATION be visible fly the number one thing that annoys you %HESITATION victim mentalities money or fame %HESITATION money your proudest moment proudest moment %HESITATION be in %HESITATION be if it is it's a toss up between %HESITATION getting out of prison it and and turn my life around and and and shown you know so my mom that turned my life around after all the shit I put her through %HESITATION before she died or also %HESITATION be in there for my daughter's birth which was nine months ago and in being there in the hospital that time love that your favorite food favorite food is pizza man I can eat a whole lot of it but I but it's good would you rather speak four languages we'll speak to animals and do %HESITATION do that's that's a hard decision right there but in the in in the in the sense of being decisive I would rather speak all all languages but that would be pretty cool to speak the animals absolutely what song best describes your life what song best describes my life %HESITATION %HESITATION there's this new one that I'm dizzy Avenue because like I'm a really big music at but there's this new newer song by Zaid wolf called cold blooded in in there he's like it the very first verses is like so even says underdog in the verse the love it though love that if you had an extra hour day how would you spend an extra hour day I would spend it doing doing what I love doing what I love the most and that changes you know from time to time %HESITATION they could be it could be reading it could be working out or spend time with the family %HESITATION but doing doing one of those things that that is really love doing Netflix the jeep you too your number one piece of advice to your children number one piece of advice to my children like just one piece of advice would be %HESITATION it's kind of a long winded answer but I'll I'll dwindled down really quick don't act further along the what you really are because there's a lot that goes into that that I could dive deeper into %HESITATION don't so pro claim yourself is like a %HESITATION a master or expert like everybody does and social media actually do the work you're gonna to build real skills develop skills that are going to take a lot of time to develop it's going to take years to become a master and then finally to streamline the process finds my there already has what you want and become their student with you got to give them money or the you got a %HESITATION X. barter services whether you got to work for them when they got to connect them some money network whatever you got to do to become a student just become the student maybe it Dustin this advice and finally would you rather know how you would die when you would die neither but I would rather know neither but if I had to pick between the two it would be how I I don't want to know when okay okay brilliant so that's the end of their quick fire I appreciate those on to the hope you'll give the list as well a little bit more insight into you and I just wanna ask then before we move on to the final question of the show Zach if it's alright with you what is one question that you wish I'd asked you did you are really awesome hi this is pretty these are good questions I appreciate that one question one question that you wish you did that then I will ask me %HESITATION mainly ICANN a really hit some good ones at at I would have said you know if you go back to your entrepreneurial journey the beginning what was one piece of advice you tell yourself but US at a different way so I so I don't really know man %HESITATION yes some really good questions I appreciate that so not decide to leave this to the last question and this is been an absolute pleasure saw it I truly do appreciate your time but the last question I always ask one of my guess is if in a hundred and fifty years time signs photos to save us and when no longer here and all that exists is a book and this book is about you the underdog sack I need this book it has everything about your life for the we had a wonderful things that you've done and accumulate and achieved in your life firstly what with the title of the book B. and secondly what with the summer at the back tell us about you man these good these are really thought provoking %HESITATION the title of the book would be %HESITATION that's kind of put me on the spot there the title of the book would be something along the lines of %HESITATION you know a it in this with this would be more so not just about me this would be for for anybody that feels this way not a lot of people do but it's like they say you can't but you did it would probably be the title %HESITATION or they say you can't but you do are something something like that and in the summer you be you know it it it doesn't matter that you know if you have a grandiose vision but but everybody count you out %HESITATION %HESITATION all the odds stacked against you a people even laughing at your dream it doesn't matter if you're committed to leveling up to win in to get the respect that you deserve and and if you want it bad enough it doesn't matter what you face there's no excuse there's no victim mentality this there's no privilege or nothing like dude like none it doesn't matter where you come from met life you could be a former crackhead and prisoner did over five years plus or ten years plus in your life and you can still make your own life how you want you can design your life at any given moment the moment you decide to take complete ownership of it I love that and %HESITATION that actually brings us to the end of the show I just wanna once again thank you for sharing your story in your own ability it's been an absolutely incredible episode one the I'm I'm very grateful for but just before we leave Zack what's the best place our audience can connect with you yeah man appreciate that dude underdog empowerment the podcast man I'm really passion about that %HESITATION you know you could you could subscribe to it on any podcasts %HESITATION platform that you listen to podcasts too and make it really easy for you guys you can go to underdog in power mate dot com right there on the front page might have to scroll down a little bit but there's buttons %HESITATION teach platform I tunes but if I go places or whatever %HESITATION and yeah if you dig show hope see guys over there and and do I appreciate you have me on so much man it's been a blast you're very welcome home I'm going to do is make sure order those links all in the show notes always and be nice and easy for the listeners to literally click this guy is an expert in he's obviously so past normal podcasters let myself but it's very inspired to see somebody like him who's doing it the right way for myself I'm for the people to know that we can do it too so I want to thank everyone at home thanks to listen is that thanks again for the for your time really appreciate it Hey man thanks for having man it's been awesome and remember this podcast is absolutely free so all we ask in return is for you to share this with a friend and drop us a five star review over on iTunes have an awesome day

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Yes you can #36 by Stephanie Taylor

Tagline: "I inspired people to change their lives for the better and create the life that they love"

An amazing story of a lady who rose from receiving benefits and struggling to creating a business generating £400k per annum and finding her voice through property.

Stephanie Taylor is a successful property investor, a loving mother and someone who has changed her lifes circumstances and achieved her dreams. Despite being heavily involved and meeting through the Property this interview looks at Stephanie's personal story as a person. Ensuring I don't bore the listeners with too much property talk, we have kept incredible story to a lady who has overcome many odds.

She has gone from minimum wage jobs, to being refused jobs, to building £100k + revenue businesses. Alongside this, she has established herself as a name within the property sector. She has overcome her own limiting beliefs, and she is also changing live for others. Stephanie also explains her vision is to inspire more people, to take control of their lives. Seeing the benefits it has done for her, she wants others to create their dreams.

Offering a kind gesture to all listeners, or for anyone interested in rent to rent property, she has provided a link below just for our listeners!

This was also the first time someone has shared their vulnerabilities and openly cried on the show. It was a moment you may not have expected as it was for a positive act. Caring, as we touch on in this podcast, the act of just doing nice things with others well-being at the front of your mind is powerful. It is a caring example that Stephanie shares which gets her emotional and also brings home a great lesson.

Key talking points in this episode:

1. The importance of your mindset
2. Growing your skill set to be capable of achieving your goals
3. The importance of caring
4. How to work on problem solving
5. Not attaching self-worth to circumstances

I sincerely hope this episode provides you genuine value. I also urge you to follow Stephanie's journey if it resonated with you, or if you enjoyed this.

Thanks for listening

Free Audible book sign up:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21

Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Links to guest:

Stephanies offering: https://rent2rentsuccess.com/findvourvoice

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/missstephanietaylor

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Never give up and keep smiling #35 by Narinder Hayer

Tagline: "I don't believe in giving up, there is always a way to achieve your dreams"

The tag line of this episode says it all. Narinder Hayer is a public speaker, personal trainer, nutritionist, life coach and so much more. She is someone who broke the barrier and led the way for Indian girls to be a part of the gym and make a sustainable, comfortable lifestyle from health and fitness.

She is never one to shy away from her fears and continues to face all the obstacles in her way, in the only ways she knows best: With a smile and action! She is someone who screams energy, enthusiasm and a raw passion for just wanting to succeed in everything she does. She shares stories of incredible transformations from a few of her relationships and discusses throughout this episode the importance of chasing your dreams.

Narinders message is simple. If you truly want to do and achieve something, you can. But it will require a good work ethic, facing your fears, handling opposition, taking set backs and sometimes feeling lost. But if the goal is worthwhile and your ambition matches your execution then it is 100% achievable as she explains.

Now coaching celebrities, having represented UK too on the health and fitness platform, Narinder has huge hopes for the future of health and fitness and aims to be an inspiration to 1000s. I am sure all her clients, family and friend can be very proud, and I am sure you will all hear the authentic enthusiasm in her message on this show.

Key talking points in this episode:

1. Not being afraid to be different
2. The importance of being yourself
3. Learning to love yourself, within as this will transfer to your external world
4. The importance of never ever giving up on your dreams
5. Never taking no's or set backs as final.

I sincerely hope this episode provides you genuine value. I also urge you to follow Narinders message if it resonated with you, or if you enjoyed this.

Thanks for listening

Free Audible book sign up:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21

Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Links to Narinder:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/narinder.hayer.771

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/narinder_hayer_fitness/

welcome to an episode of find your voice a movement led by yours truly Aren Deu a guy who was overcome crippling anxiety adversity and difficulty like so many of you in life whose main goal now is to help you combat your excuses take control of your life write your own story and most importantly find your voice so now without further ado I welcome the host of the show himself Mr Aren Deu what's going on people thank you for tuning into another episode of falling your voice my name is Aren and as always I am the host of the show so I'm delighted to have to bring to you today a lady who has really paved the way for women in the health and fitness industry during that hi yeah no no in the highs being in Luxembourg she's been on TV's worldwide she's represented England for so many things in relation to health and fitness but more importantly than that I something that I really connected with was her true in daring nature you see no interest somebody he just genuinely care as she gently wants to see people change their lives for the back and even more importantly should I say something that actually goes through the whole theme of the show is that she writes her own story each and every day she has completely scrapped the stereo type of what Asian lady should do she is empowering ladies from all across the world and she just so insightful in the way that she won conducts a self but T. it depends moving forward so somebody who I can definitely see myself potentially colliding with on some health and fitness stuff as all right you want to try to disrupt that space just a little bit myself but I'm conscious this is a long interview somebody let you stop rambling now and once again it's one of thank every single one of you for the massive support this podcast is growing ahead of a lot quicker than I thought so that is %HESITATION down to you guys and the incredible guess I've had on it so without further ado let's get this interview on the way okay so I'd like to start off by welcome in every day to the show today she has Carly taken time out of a day to share his story so knowing that if you wouldn't mind if you could kind of well first actually how you doing today I five are and how you a lot thank you sorry I almost forgot to welcome you to the show it's okay this is the second time recording today so much he just that I lost my train of thought is off so it's very important obviously I've had a little bit about your story just before we even start this podcast if you could give the listener is an insight in relation to your Janie and up about yourself basically what brings you here today find your voice okay %HESITATION right side my name's me to head out I've been in the house with the this industry twenty three yes and it's twenty three yes I'm talking when I still eat there was no %HESITATION I should be in the gym it was not no information woman's being that Jim Jones I was always told it was okay the Asian boys to be that the culture is a bit different at the time %HESITATION funny enough when I actually went into the gym there wasn't even that Asian boys so it's actually the Haitian pastor in the gym it was it was hot it wasn't the most easiest thing you know it's kind of discriminated against I was gonna knock down several times that many I kinda down the chain I'm a very very strong pass and so on let me go back to how it started so when I was quite young I used to watch my brother is trying on a similar kind of nice to find it quite expiry that break up early in the morning the training and I'm talking like four or five in the morning but not the pop come bokeh chin upset I'll be like well you know what I have to deal with these I'm not well my purpose can do I can do so it was one of those I was kind of into fitness I love this site %HESITATION you know it was just something not quite a spider that was kind of my hobby six seven anybody want to define me that black medicine that you know some easy you could lose mate was actually if it was anybody's wedding at resume da she's in the gym fast to erect cock it was kinda like yeah so that was my karma sentries and I kind of looked at and that's something that nobody can ever take away from you that's kind of my hobby or sign away have confiscated and that's kind of my place where I kind of got it because she had so I remember when I was quite young I said to my dad %HESITATION okay so my dad kinda has become I'm not a job I think is amazing %HESITATION as I was almost on the of how the simple and this is why I'm gonna go out but a how to guide because of my family members and my that's where three years ago okay so I'm thinking of going into fitness I'm my dot com I mean it was not very much in those days it was it not for nation gal to go in the gym I'm my document okay so you guys but if you're serious about it do it you can always talked about that goes just also try on you know you education what you wanted to as I'm still gonna do my degrees and still gonna do Michael sees but this is something I think crime I want to do I think he's got a long way my dad goes well okay if you're gonna do that coach of the boys want to kill kill can do I don't remember that twenty three a and %HESITATION I wait Todd I did I literally I kinda tried with a lot of amazing he fitness guru sensible on these guys eighteen took me into the reading told me what I needed to I mean again I answered I might be a very very strong sweetness lament %HESITATION and I appreciate all the support of out of the twenty three as a lobbyist and knocks me but a lot of people supported me %HESITATION you know the kind of open the doors and I'm so grateful for every possible I hot I'll buy you know what you'd be shocked I'm actually so great for the people that not me as every not box made me the strong I need to get out tonight so I'm actually quite thankful because it made me who I am so twenty three S. I kind of did a lot of cool seats I come to train with a lot of amazing people are rex I love the jeans I %HESITATION I would say %HESITATION I'm a child accounts and I lost which counsel a motivational speaker on the minute you stop you can construct on the beach body coach and %HESITATION instructs out the insanity it's my favorite blackout locating everybody I say I'm I'm one of those guys which writing is located okay if you're breathing on the floor I'll check to see if we give you some more about how you got a free shot back out %HESITATION so whatever levy getting the results if you're not gonna put the effort in so I'm also part of and six in the city which is a famous London team which is for about four just saying is if I somebody does and and support minus lies so %HESITATION I'm part of it and he's under that is old he's my inspiration and I think if he can do that I can do that so I'm part bees at ready Tina team as well I went to Luxembourg recently on the thirty first of may represent quite Brett I represent six in the seat with my team represent T. Asian women represent to date at my religion my committee amazing running sixteen thousand people it was over twenty eight degrees it was the hardest thing of my life but what I kept thinking these and after you've got to grab the medals you need not just one because we went through into faith which is a run for world peace I all the nations and all the coaches come to get it was a fascinating to learn about different cultures I kind of fun I was so interested in not I met so many different people from different countries as well and we went to represent season I want to come back and it's funny the amazing thing all I kept thinking about it he hit sixteen thousand people you sort of collapsing but I can't think his rent out you gotta get these looks about minimum because when you get the swan you'll get the interfaith while which means that you represented %HESITATION I would because I was used in the U. K. I caught fire I don't fight it write it to me I believe in up to a point where I don't make the mistake get up and do it again so I do the I. five O. several times in life but I got up go up and did it again but when I'm excited when you give up before you even tried and you can't do that so if the website and I count I'm not I'm not like happen every always how to never be I don't believe in that's too bad I was nothing you can't do in life it's not really the tensions in your life you can be what ever you want to be and I fixed it twenty three S. amaze it might break K. after twenty yet %HESITATION I introducing sounded to to move on someone to hold on to James it can be expressed in stock it came in the Asian newspaper and next minute the radio shows a ringing me up %HESITATION and then expect somebody okay to beat the comics playing exactly what I've done or not you need to come on the show a wreck everything is nice and I hot how did a couple of obviously because I've been working alongside a remote clients %HESITATION base it went on the show with a couple of out of state and I thought that was like oh my god what what Jerry just think how this might of us next in a live interview went to Europe became one of the most famous Asian gals I'd be on Asian boys twenty three years ago so what Asian boys could it today in the gym it was as you go on the show to ask how they came one of the most famous Asian gals %HESITATION and to go with the most qualifications sigh I have my fish out and ate it comes up %HESITATION I recalled on Wednesday said it show in Asian community on by seven seven one %HESITATION every sat at one thirty and you know what it's so shocking I recorded but I never watch it I don't like the box was not I don't know why I DO nobody's when I look back on it because I criticized offsite knowledge which is get criticism is good but I know I could have them back so I know if I don't watch it I know I made mistakes I'm not I'll do better next time some very critical about myself if you can take criticism be quick critical by itself and take criticism from other people may choose from the past so you know I've kind of done quite a lot of a lot on %HESITATION and then after that %HESITATION unlock doors of life and %HESITATION again I went to see doctor that came back and beat up on a lot of Asian shows %HESITATION I've been to speak for a lot of and so the S. I train about celebrities newsreaders models %HESITATION you know you have the American weight loss %HESITATION so I I do a U. K. version of the song yeah I've had a lot of sounds stories last about a year ago %HESITATION she was twenty twenty five and we ship on a lot right and I mean that was quite a lot she went to a doctor and I talked to said we're not going to Saudi Arabia to say so he goes you need to do so by although I should have gone to see a family you're not you're not gonna see nobody at that point okay because I'm a qualified counsellor she came to me for accounts and she cried as she was made up I'm a Die because I talked to tell me a minute docks so what what support do you talk to and she goes well okay just said on the city's right unless I log in it shows what you offer not just being told him in a tight in your life you know it's not you do not I met some training I was like you know well I will help you through this journey I will get you to that point we will lose the right to get it in a way because the team because I tried alongside my client against on that I don't believe it's under the table motivation starts when you get on the next machine you feel like they did so I chained up and %HESITATION we got down she lost a lot already she then met I love you mom she got married Genovese it was amazing and to go to that wedding when you know it's time to make a speech and told that you know thank you what was life like right that's when you know you're a good passer try as much as I trainees about %HESITATION how many clutch we have the I will control the jeans and then I got twenty thousand I got these I'm not reading I'm like you know what constitutes morning Paul and when my clients good and they got I mean do you know what I'm smiling I feel good I know that I'm a pessimist raise your clients will make you well I'm and I don't know I've always been a strong passing I don't believe in giving up I've never gives I don't I don't believe in that I've always been a strong positive past maybe because of how the support of my family and even now you can show how many people say to make me to give it up you've done enough not you've done so much in your life and I'm not not I haven't it's it's funny I'm not you know what happened in the book well I'm not not that I'm I'm just about to start on the like the you don't twenty three yes I'm not not on what I have in mind today I haven't saw it so these a working on all of that and projects %HESITATION you know some people with disabilities I think everybody has a right to have a chance to trade it doesn't matter what you disabilities you know everybody has the right to feel exactly and I feel good about themselves because training is not about just getting a great body about make you feel good inside I like to make my feet my clients feel good inside and shot it shows on the outside as well fitness is about is about your mind it's about your body and your confidence and I think everybody has a right no matter what ever you disability so I'm I can but a little when I say she's a crime not I have a lot of qualifications welcome to people with disabilities I'm kind of excited to get the ball rolling on the outside the shit and I think they deserve the opportunity %HESITATION I wax or live a U. K. let's not get my chest undead %HESITATION I travel a lot with back depending on when the clients I DO Scott visit and bought yet Scott that cats are too high visits I'm a lot of clients in America %HESITATION yeah basically everywhere and anyway I'm Tom yes I did I don't know I start even now I don't believe in giving up %HESITATION you know after after I've done this with this effort because maybe I thought went today never feel your energy coming through my computer screen right now and I'm I'm say in half as opposed to trying to myself actually and I'm kind of like yes this is the kind of a because this is the kind of person trained about all I would advocate for so I really recommend person trained is not when I went to prison training it was the tree for the happiness of fulfillment to change somebody's life yeah because I know higher losing five change my life I don't care for yeah once T. of numbers I don't I don't necessarily care for the paycheck either it was about instilling that Paris is called to see them really to transform their lives so when you said about how you change that woman's life that was a beautiful story because I've had clients who have come up to me and David you said the best years of their life was the time that they tried to make and sometimes it was not necessarily even the way because it was more about how they felt when they were around me and just that self confidence I was able to give him so I know just from the way you're speaking on the sea you've got to have a lot of experience a lot more than myself that you do that with your clients which is and I've got a list of questions here and I want at least a point someone in real life because your stories fascinated so basically twenty three years in the game now I've been preaching health and fitness fo the best pop eight nine years and the reason I Pratchett is slightly different reason it's it's the fact that I'm just fed up of see people die at around me family friends and eight AM seven and I'm just like why are we not prioritize and a house and it is probably one of the the few a posh is that when I try to work so like on going to depart because not to do you love it I do property investing you are the business is like still keep going back to health so I conversation for another day art your brains because I have some divisions in terms of how we want to disrupt the health sector as well myself and see I think your knowledge would be valuable for that you mentioned no boys Asian boys in the gym at twenty three years ago and that's probably the truth of it because even ten years fifteen years ago when I was at university there was like two guys who actually went to the gym I bet you thought they were weird because while we were too busy drinking vodka and eating kebabs and doing all that crazy exactly that with those ten this is going to the gym you would think it you're wasting unity but straight after university dot such you when I actually started to take my health service in a kind of kick myself in which I went back I also love the lesson that your dad said to you and I think that's a brilliant point go show the boys while I go can do I think that's that's fantastic and it's empowering full any ladies out there who maybe fail that fitness isn't for them it's it's a male thing because it's not it's a passive thing we can also enhance our minds and our bodies and our company history fitness and can you just while we're live on show because I always say this to people not trying to advocate women get into some sort of training can you please dispel the myth that would be able to simply and a reply on the shores think of when the pickle weights I always get a lot of women that come and try and that a lot you're not going to sing I'm not because white pickup more white and got locked out of it that I look at me it's it's you know what it is I think sometimes you listen to so much and you start to believe it you think it's because the guys pick up the right to think what it looks like that it doesn't happen all I am actually I'm really slim but I'm very strong and you can still have a very feminine body still be the most strongest and may think passengers I pick up a lot like and I don't look like a man and I swear I might sound like one teacher is teaching a boxing class and I've called I lost my voice %HESITATION about no you need to mix cardio you need to mix cardio and weights you need to DO resistance wet because about to get one of the most amazing bodies Claudia will make you so lame and skinny the cardio machines and the weight of the dumbbells are the ones that will give you the shape you to combine the two together and I made I say that to every that's my comes at you with a lot we meet on this this week I studies in drama gonna tending to Amman I'm not know why I'm not white he told you that at such and such tell me that I'm not no I always say to my clients that at the end of that I bring my life coach my comes name what is it yeah and I say look into the peace officer making a living you for a while you do pass I tried it but then it teach you how to love yourself once you learn to let me stop you look at this around you you become very inspiring in a meeting and I'm one of those people I don't I think if I find somebody very toxic or negative I don't work that way I woke up sick as I thought about that being a positive passing a wake up the sign right and I and my site I'm always smiling we'll talk only say it's like a speech everybody in the gym I make it my mission to speak to every single pass and in every July and they're going to because you never know when that might need you as sometimes lacking the industry you have to be approachable you have to be at you know kind of friendly towards like you're in the wrong job I have a lot of people come up to me inside so me %HESITATION train is don't smile all you guys could be chest high and I'm like you know what I'm not like that because all I eat if I tell you the %HESITATION just quick story because we sent a in one of the gyms we had a young twenty one year old killed that will say and she sat in the changeover how to Hans covering half iceage was crying I was about to go into each and I remember next poems in towns and I quickly went to change your game on I saw this young gal and I saw this in that with the house kind of light over ice and I was like you okay and she looked up my chest me what did you just ask me how I am and nobody my life has ever asked me about reading I'm not really she does not mean that nobody from my family and my friends have never asked me she was quiet on what you know watch like if you're hot and she does she'll tell me I went no no funny business I'm not like and I kind of broke the ice to start it off I know what you know well what is it you can talk to me I said you know I'm a life coach constructs what you tell me today's confidential BC you have to you know it's confidential she told me to shed its like story because she wants others to realize that you can change your life and she goes we drop I am the bodies and the ladies in the office the grown women with children picking me up because I'm all the way express my head down the toilet wow just not still happen and she was like man dell I get please because I'm over by and she does I I don't like the slight and you can tell this child was depressed and I went okay if I made you a promise I promise you from today and I will change your life I will give you the most amazing body for you I will make you the will meant that nobody will pecan I will turn the tables and make you the most strongest woman if you out with meant she kind of some interest thank you I said no I haven't even done anything yet I was that you don't need to say thank you she was I mean that you're twenty minutes late I'll be T. class I was like these people away you can't and you know what I'll be when I went back to Mel B. T. class they would touch you got me I was not yet ladies get over it but I was I was a child I thought as a child that needed help to that and I'm glad I stop for that child I defy anybody and you know the following day the shop the young gay okay made a call to talk because I'm she's younger she came in to walk me about kind of how it is and she will make chocolate some psych rock festival next to the gym you can bring them in it's not don't give them to each other it's like bringing back he's into that you start it up and she was like this is the US and why I haven't done that she is known to be dating site my like last night I was in that to think right when I got myself together I'm going to do and get as many tablets as I can I'm gonna kill myself she wanted overdoses south and that was the end of it she goes because you gave me a hug and stopped to ask me how was you say my line right I literally cried in the remote site all my god I was like look if I had never stopped which always well I'm not that kind inside for example say somebody did stop I talked with and I did a lot and all because your body because you're overweight I don't like that I think the the council I've dealt with you've been used I deal with eating disorders I deal with cancer patients I do a lot of people and you know what is I do not like please I cannot stop I know nobody does it you know what is in use twenty three S. as accounts and every time there's somebody sitting in my office and that was to help people I'm not about how do you know what people need to stop you need to look at yourself before you pick on somebody else never thought you respect you know what she's all deal with them never because somebody else because it's so wrong and you know what that site when I realize I should I say this child's life so then we started training we got to that point we work with a cast of music to help %HESITATION we've had case she won the case all the people in the office will fight it she's not the assistant managing the office with the most amazing body she loves to sell she has she has a new team of people or young so inspiring and she does not you size model she comes in the jeep and the funny thing is every time I see yes that you're looking very sexy she does you know I look at you guys nobody to tell me and I waited a long time for that you don't tell me about a one point two Charles ones and a lot of shops every time we see out she's or why he's kind of like me that you know what sexy I'm not yet I waited a long time for that this is what I'm saying always make you job say hello to everybody I I deliveries to it because you never know it's only because she knew that I always approach anybody she was I mean it you know thank you so that's why I'm signed up being in the industry isn't just about being a past which right now and I yeah you know it's not that many clients it's about looking after these people carry you gotta be carried these people even if it's not your client you always got to be supported why he's giving everybody a comp you Max these guys will come easy sometimes I see people saying that I'm not you okay no doubt about that coming this summer job I do that I would do for anybody because I see like these my family went to the gym I'd want the site site support from my family you gotta be that for everybody likes to show it so precious you can't discriminate and I think a lot of I recently you know had a lot of comments from a lot of public in the gym and I can sight not even on small yes I'm trying to start small don't talk to us I'm not I'm not I talk to you much you know me I did I think that's why my life coach at a motivational speech it's a kind of good quality to have people or why he cites made when he talked about I'm not thank you for the compliment I never take anything top because you know what everything has a meaning if you tell me it's not so much I'm not thank you I read a note that's why I became a motivational speaker I'd somebody you said you you need to stop what you're doing don't do you modify it you've got enough matter I know with that comment came from it comes from a good place so I'm not roll you know what then you sit back and you think you know what you have issues but they're not my problem you know to me so I I don't give up no matter how many times and like I said twenty three is a long time to be knocked down and knocked down several times on you know what I was right now if you guys can do these I can do that I'll just because I'm Asian Gil doesn't matter who you are it doesn't matter what religion doesn't my what culture if you're a man or woman never give up because you know what thanks to shore you can be what ever you want somebody says you you can't do it you know what to think sit back and think to yourself why can't you can't you know maybe I'll be lucky because of how to support my family but that's become like my manager at the moment my dot you truly will all go up to exit out what you think about this project I've been often these days my doctor now so we will yeah I'm a god is amazing yes I was late and I don't think a lot of people have that support I know it's hard but you know what never give up because you look back and regret it I do a lot of people I'm not you know what what did you want to be you know you that conversation when you're young in the greatest advising us what would you like to be when you grow up about the conversation with a lot of people in the gym and they're not I want to do this but I never did I'm not whites all is just get a fighting I'm not reading out it's never too late to try it you know these people try to you know what thank you I try and help everybody as much as I can I don't I don't believe in giving up I I just think small goes a long way it's funny the most powerful thing I have and I always see like these must must be the most powerful thing that somebody nobody could ever take away from me because that's something that makes me who I am and I saved a life as for a lot of people %HESITATION so yeah I am also thankful to god I say my parents taught me but you know what the end of the day I always state right to go out and say thank you for your help I I'm happy and you know every good thing the opposite my lot I do I go to the temple thank you as you cannot forget god without doubt there's nobody and that's my that's my you know I've been in about it %HESITATION but a lot of people have helped me over the years and I'm so thankful %HESITATION you know a lot of people still which why not me I'm not you know what there's no way you can knock a strong woman you caught not someone who knows if they going on just love that so it gained under point someone up on a kind of put out of this if I may basically I just wanna say obviously there was %HESITATION the whole support network which you've been fortunate to have for anyone who doesn't have a support network I think we definitely need to look at the only two people like yourselves to the new windows in the vote even myself always try to go out my way to help someone whether it's a phone conversation %HESITATION face to face me up just to try to support people there are genuine you people out there who will take time of the day to help so don't always think that always more moment I don't believe in me thus it my dreams are over because I have to go against the grain on set in decisions in my life and in hindsight I'm so grateful that I just bit the bullet and took those phase out the way because actually turned out okay so definitely recommend people to do that another thing I picked out from you is that I long settled is vibrant and bubbly energy does a person who truly K. as in not a not so you'll be what kept you going as a personal trainer I love that about you because one of the things I resonate with on the is not that's how I felt with my clients I could feel that pain saw was that somebody was always naturally in great shape I was in OK shape our country really bad shape then I got back into shape so I could always kind of empathize what they're going through one of the things that really hurts me to this day so I stopped I actually want to one trading for a long time now and some of my clients have kind of gone back to their old habits Bubsy changing this circle of interest and I didn't really get side when I see them not and I still feel like having invested in that they're a part of me and I always feel like I haven't done much of property that they haven't been able to sustain it and even to this day does does does somebody got to listen to the shows the public knows you're talking about it would mean the world for me to see him go back to how we used to be because there's so much potential there by gay like to kiss don is the G. about taking that motivation I think especially when you've done it once so really you cannot speak from experience you've been day you've had these holidays for some people that may be having how did this difficult all I know just quickly going back to my place here he's been there he shape and this is for anyone one if you've been there yourself or to it to somebody else has been there in the world that shows you as possible yeah that's what it sort of I I and I'm gonna say great now that because I am curious how you've got so much energy now I have a lot of energy for about eight hours of the day yeah I saw that you so I'm not sure interpret surprisingly enough Lafayette suffered a lot shyness in his eye and a lot of the times somebody was smart on the wall would have to do with our small part it's the new look at the floor so it looks like on boarding up when I was never avoided a prose too shy to actually made that quite content I'll change nine but what I want to know is one obviously how you keep descended yet because I'm sure we could all do with that top of this if if it's available but what's your what's your daily routine from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep at night you know what festival going back to the top of it it is no trouble only is basically I don't believe in giving up I think you get once make the most of your life and like you said you see in a lot of people also let him you know what we see I've got loads of close friends who passed away I have a lot of kinds includes kinds of patients who passed away and that broke my heart you realize that you know wall you could be here today and gone tomorrow you gotta make the most of your life so you can do it I would say to everybody I'm gonna go as far as I can tell all I think that's you know but it's never going to be you know I'm so for me I don't know I wake up in the morning I kind of lie I don't know I kind of hate to go I wish you a lot people like you don't know religious but where does he said you have to look religious ready to go out I thank god a one to one basis that's my relationship with my car I wake up I pray to god I'm not quite a gives me not strong motivation I'm not right I'm ready for the day I do not like this all right above the pass and so there's nothing in your diet that gives you this expect that healthy you know I have breakfast and then you should be all a lot of the men make the mistake of mixing me wasn't thinking that get the most amazing body it it doesn't lock you need to be having breakfast let's do not to knock and I make it why is housewife who died too much I have a daughter with me so make sure that I he take exactly I'm eating healthy I do have a treat every so often I mean a lot people think that you cannot you have to live that life if you're on a diet no I have everything keep modulation I have all the treats I want I have everything I don't even give up two parties I love to buy these and I can't give up my house basically so I eat very healthy throughout the day %HESITATION if I feel like I need something I'll have it I don't give up I still have everything in moderation well my attitude I don't know what she can do because I think what it is for me twenty three years of being knocked out every not bad made me strong ago so and it made me realize wow that's a very very negative press people in the cell and then I realize I mean the right job because that's how spent the house well he was a speaker at an event a couple weeks ago and you know talk about mental health and fitness actually does help out in the press that is all a T. depression anything can align fit ness releases endorphins as you know you know when you're training it releases a stress you need to be in that gym because of the sea a lot of people think hi consoles that will not solve the problem and I don't know I always just I'm just always been a positive but I'm not signed everything goes cafe in my life and every day he's not going to I hop but they sometimes but you know how I analyze it %HESITATION well you know what what was a bad day something goes wrong I'm not okay eat on working on a project and to go through I'm not okay it was not meant it wasn't meant for me yeah it's a great job thank you think you know what I cried about it what are you going to do so I went somebody a long time ago and he gave me this advice you guys if that's something physical in your hand you can change change it to that %HESITATION physical why you gonna cry stress yourself and make yourself go about it so I always remember the I'm not was one of the managers when working in accounting he was with me and he goes to minimum dot remember this for the rest of your life and I don't remember the name of the yes and I think to myself you know some truth so if I got a project and it wasn't meant for me I'm not allowed you know well what can I do next it pushes me even more motivates me more to read something else so I don't believe in giving up yet nice not all right perfect and probably some of the most likely I'm always slightly outside I'm joking I love the mall %HESITATION jokes how for the timing of the loss of the drugs and all you crave these jokes my clients and they look at me like media craze yeah but you know what so why do nobody any hawk how will be passed always happy because maybe like I said he knocked for twenty three years is a long time of being knocked down and every not back made me a stronger Gail I thought how did you knock me like all right for example hi %HESITATION couple of em yes I got I want to do that we and that was the show when it was that kind of life coaching and I said to the guy a BC which I like to come right and he goes yeah once a month it was like like coming his stage I'm on a story is about and he was a light blue at that point he sold the skills quite strong she comes on this day she's going to overtake my shop and actually he's thinking was wrong I want to I each collaborate and become the most powerful people on stage he think that fall so he %HESITATION inside the box no onsite and go head to make you show even better than what it was and he goes no thank you not this time most about and at that point I was let me go it was like wow these he won't let me on stage some all night and then be analyzed each the fact he had beat almost social media page check out get not skills to awful looking at that stage and this website sometimes people take it the wrong way so he let me on and the following week find another way and ended up on somebody else's show so that even came about absolutely this is one size something's not meant for you you're not meant to work with people and I thought wow I didn't know I thought I did shoot and I'm like that's right presents what weight I. light weight can be strong motivational inspiring people support not not cute if they're gonna not me I don't know what could that you know me and but I will never lack connect to people if you're gonna not me I will never record I twenty three years of the Knox noble so now I'm one of those people if you come across as quite negative and toxic and you find me intimidate eight then I won't work but I'm not intimidated passable humble guilt you have to wear at twenty three Hodges my dad the Eiffel Michaels is my dad said to me if I give you the money for each course he goes you will never understand the meaning of money so all right well I do not invested in my old cell I tried this leads many not get from that are the best in the next calls on the next all my equipment and I built my business like that I have that much equipment in every location on like art I don't even know what else is wrong %HESITATION I'm a very very down to earth pass and sometimes it looks deep I look at your yes my stuck up I'm not that kind of because I could be still call even if I tried I'm a very humble down to as Asian funny GTO that's what I am and somebody comes up to me is that he just well I will give you a hundred ten percent I'm not that kind of pass it even if it's something I can help you with I will find a way to help you will recommend you to the right people I don't believe in giving up and I don't even know how I help every single president no matter what it is even if it out my compass %HESITATION I will go out of my way to help you spend thank you you know what your battery's five eight that is the first time it's five you have such a positive vibe about you you come across a might be so much of may and okay so I don't I have twenty three as your age at you to me it sounds equals may decide well I because I love that's not to say I love the motivation I love what you're doing I mean these podcasts I'm like all my god how to make that this man has done so much and trying to get the people to help people and I look for thank you so much for that all that's there is something that really hit a note with yes please when you said that guy who was afraid of you coming on the shelf not if I have to you almost kind of from the outside look at yourself and look at me way completely different in terms of your very energetic and very it wears I'm quiet and more I suppose I quit laid back no delays because it sounds better one thing that actually excites me is the %HESITATION I'm sitting here thinking I need to come up with this person on something something to change people's lives because we always get exactly the same thing also you know amazing exactly and I don't have the space to mourn set off %HESITATION death and I'm trying to because at the end of the day what's going to happen is say for instance we were on stage you're gonna get X. amount of people are gonna resonate with you better there's gonna be except for we have our own or just put together what you're doing that you're talking to a much wider audience and always believe that we should always try to have the abundance mind set because it how many times you kind and we have the same values and ethics because %HESITATION what I'm hearing from you is your cat for the people or your stories relate back to how you've helped somebody at an absolutely loved and that's pretty much it meet in a chat well I've had a lot of like I said because we're trying to see the not wet creek I when I go trying to clients and redox you out too much experience what we've already got this online white which is always out you guys exactly equal survey SO training like you said it's not about just having someone clients are not only I say that to anybody I'm like you know what all I'm not suitable for you guys you know there's so many amazing people out that only difference Whitney's I train alongside my clients if I had and the thing because I think I will get with every single machine these people because I want to make you feel special that time I'm a very professional training when I train my clients will be safe I don't talk I speak to anybody in the gym but when I'm trying to my clients my focus is on my client that one out of spending with these people is my focus if somebody comes at the height of the dot I just put my hand up and not say you will not get comes out to meet us my client is a mostly pound hello that said it not Rick for me because I have paid for that time they want they want the results all you don't believe in easy back out I'm kind of like a killing machine if you guys come to my class you got a couch eating out you had a good workout I have a lot of my clients who would text me let me go read out you killed me I cannot sit on the toilet skis I can't get it to bet on coffee I mean I %HESITATION and I'm like I spun off and locked and then not your marble I'm not no give me a couple of days your ring me back in your blood you know I feel good they do he's on site sometimes people don't understand what has some training for me that's what I need overruled is about clearing your mind yeah I did shoot your confidence shuttle lifestyle and it's about mental health it will bring that everything for you it's not just about getting amazing party SO training for me is it not as a Chinese I will make you feel good insight and I she stopped to lead to love what you have on your side everything went yeah if your happy yeah how do you approach to the people how you have conversations I will be even more policy I said you will attract positive people you been positive I think not our whole and you know me but I did find a lot because we train is Connie using the same technique a lot of hassles like this I've come across I'm not saying this some amazing people that yeah %HESITATION but I'm I'm just talking about I see you on it they always need they know that I'm talking about it hello and I would bet you that nobody's okay I know but I'm saying sometimes it's just about training and I was over there good bye see you later bye let's see now it's just the training is not the personal side and the personal size that's the most important thing social key I'm like wow sorry and I'm so can somebody recently I like I said someone may ask train is out there the amazing talented people I'm talking about Pacific for them on the talent that I believe it should be mentioned and he was like yeah whatever so he was so he's going to hear it basically yeah it is watching you guys okay I was on the back catch it about yeah that's all I thought well I think people like that and this isn't to kind of light what people are now allowed speak up I think it's a bit like you know when people go for normal job just hate their job where as some people genuinely love that job so when I was in person training I actually Jan you need is love being there where is the whole approach of all my god the times of hall five when I was in corporate I couldn't wait to leave the office off I sent like kind of I can relate to them so what I would probably suggest to those people is is personal training actually for you because it isn't as easy as let me ride Jim plan and then I stand there and kind of the reps it's a fight physically it takes a lot of energy it takes a lot of mental energy takes about physical energy especially if you get involved yourself is off and you have to be a hundred percent committed to changing that pisses life used the truly invested in your services so I always think when people celebs can become a best trying to because that they have that you can make the for your wife of about a month I'm like you you're going into it for the wrong reasons is going to be this will be something intrinsic within you that Jen you want to see people change if that makes sense so I thought it ready for me when I mean it's SO tried it wasn't about the money just Soviet and everybody was like well you know how much you can and I was like no I'm gonna help you I mean if you want the twenty eight I love helping people even when I was younger I always being back having like and I'm like if I can help somebody if you put a body %HESITATION and they would like would you not you don't want to know what you have right now that will come and then he went to get away about but if you call me the view that I'm gonna put you on hole it's it's a wrong way to think up yes you've got to be paid I understand not that you know what you have to care about what's his what's right able and you cannot just out I'm self catch you later yeah I think the key and this is kind of more why trying tell people is find something not one of the C. makes you happy yeah makes you for failed and then the money itself you know come from some place people tasted the opposite way they're going for the money that the fed up with the %HESITATION than the one copy and I'm not switch that around the only problem is is when we do it probably our way as I'm sure you can you can test of this when I first life has tried it wasn't any more money than their previous jobs I was doing but I was enjoying it obviously for which the whole nine I was he would be fine but I didn't have the energy especially when I started it was I do a session and then up to maybe another one that I need a break and it's difficult it's tiring which is why I find you inspiring in terms of you seem to have this consistent headed yet again we're gonna find out how to put in a bottle cause gonna sell it should make the money but I have yeah it's a brilliant thing and I just wanted to touch on just before we move on to the next question one other important thing that you touched on to anyone hearing this story now you seen somebody he seems very confident who is confident he's very great at what they do but they also mentioned something really important and that was that you have bad days I'm not something always trying to help people that don't always look at what you see on social media and I assume the everyone's having this perfect lifestyle because I'm in the day it's very rare somebody's gonna think or do you know what I'll just post my shit and social media so it's refreshing to hear that you have these bad days but he's already absolutely if somebody says that they've never had a bad day they lying if somebody is ever if somebody can put their hand up and say never been depressed they line up is made the number one thing is I teach everybody I guarantee you that has %HESITATION fruit something in the lot doesn't matter the most successful people in the world hot hot times like that you make sure you meant if you've never been through it the line you know me I know everybody I hop so amazing successful people that I train it'll be for it but you know what that's made in the past and they all decide what that's like but it's how you deal with that you can either cut up and the lights are out or do something about it and I'm one of those people like if a project goes wrong %HESITATION something goes wrong you know what that's okay to shop for you know we're gonna find another I mean she can I find the whole to do anything %HESITATION and I get in that way and that got kind of like yeah I don't believe in giving up there's always a way to get into something that you wanted to on our love dot it's about people some people don't want sexy you be shocked how many people are waiting for me to file even now I I have so many people have supported me over the edge from amazing trainer is to is to is to solve many people bought is also a handful of people who don't want me to succeed and Molly you know my comment to these people is you know what there's no way you can not me you know to me so how can you not somebody who doesn't even given up yeah call but it would be nice to see more people like me more like you sell inspired beat you know helping out community and let people know that the all people that will support you anybody anybody sends me a message and we don't want to get into these old my clientele is not very good what can I do I will go out of my way to help you to make you the best because he wrote motos that's what it's about making you guys even better hi yeah read read different personalities I suppose in the us up enough I as I exactly the same but there is a lot of people in the world you don't like that and they want to see people do well and is a pretty cold I want to see do well but never as good as them I cannot get the I think it's a sketch to mine so I think we need to be in a place of abundance in terms of support as many people as you possibly can because the more people you support the more support in retrospect you'll get yourself is all and that's how I can move quicker in the road so I I love that you do that I suppose what we're trying to do is almost fine collapse people's Janie's because we've got the eight years of experience that ideally it would be great if not we have to go through the years to get to where we are not loved not within the first year maybe two years so %HESITATION it's it's brand well my med like I said I'm a mental for young students who want to get into fitness I'm sorry well I am trying to do you kind of hit on the night trying to get take the twenty three yes these people that anyone it is less than twenty three yes I want these guys to be the best because that reflects on you if you make a bet then you I don't wanna needs today we have all models to these young says and I'm not sure if you guys want to be back you want to be better than me and you like it was like now I don't think that then you got my note reading I'm gonna make you better yeah as if I make you better than me you have done I don't what I needed today and you'll the next role model if you were the next strong guilt you're the next one next and you know what we've done it we stock eat the bulls already %HESITATION you know and all I see everything because the tricks of the trade I mean every project I wanna come on all you will share that with everybody I need to tell you guys why I did this but how about how bout these the cat hobby to divest background behind you we define quality is like I said I'm a life coach got some motivational aside many different qualifications make you a very strong now I have a lot of qualifications in my hand I actually have the molds qualifications %HESITATION and that's why I ended up with my shop that's because I don't believe in giving up even now when I finish one project among the next I never stopped and I don't know maybe that's why I'm really bubbly all the time I'm not right next challenge although not next what what I'm doing to myself up to that point where I have everything in one hand so it makes you the most strongest possible Gail in the west Midlands and that's why in the world at the minute I'm thinking that's a three nine it's on the anything people out there out sick makes it but there's no reason why you call be the you know the face of the world and I think with your enthusiasm and with your knowledge and stuff you should definitely try and obviously I mean not right away you know I would love to work with you and see if %HESITATION you know obviously everybody sneaks into this you are amazing thanks much I would love to collaborate with you you come across as for me you said yes to me doesn't seem like a guesstimate site you're exactly the same as me and I'm not up on the web these press and you have the energy you have to drive you have the passion and you want to do good for these people I'm not I would love to it is in on it so it could be just me we're definitely not on the station could you also touched on the disabilities is on and one of my siblings and long story short is when they first came they croon walking straight lines and stuff so that to do a lot of %HESITATION patient therapy and one of the things that hit me was they will get in segregated at school and there weren't a lot to pay for what I goals and stuff and you really upset me and one of my passions and it was one of my goals I wrote down and I kick myself because you know how you go through life and the life takes of you get certain things that you you were supposed to do one of my goals is actually to create something for children with autism children with learning difficulties to have the ability to do fitness so you touched on this at the beginning of the episode early trip mate and all of it so I think it's a conversation with obviously take out of this podcast let's make an impact can the globalization's now this yet %HESITATION along projects on the cell because I think everybody from adults to young children have every they should have the same opportunities as everybody else and they should never be said we'll get and it's such a shame that you know that at school especially when such a young age that kind of life separate eat old they cannot take part in an event and I think every child has every right to be part of it is about how they do it yeah I if I can help not just out of those children of the what I needed today that that is the practice of my job so the middle part I'm not you know what yes you know what we'll do a great job with this witness well thank you for that yeah you wreck on worldwide if you would come with me because we need to access is out there so I'm gonna segue little bit dense you've had obviously not box after not blacks throughout your journey into and I can only imagine how difficult it is for a lady to go into a a predominantly male industry especially when you did and that being Asian on top of that as well but you've come through and I think it's gonna be ever done for anyone listening up until this point that nothing's going to really stop you which is fantastic and I should inspire people that a lot of it is just our self belief I'm always said just like looking for when the door just silo hole just to kind of find your way through I really love that what I want to ask you that is in this particular moment right now what is your actual biggest fear I see Molly I don't want to be safe yeah I want to be out of that to help as many people as I can in the U. K. on me maybe if it got to be at all I can't reach you need everybody that I need six not something I gained arsenic within the fear of when you start to realize that your ways have an impact to your your job or your service can change people's lives you almost feel like you said you you that you want to you want expanded so you've had like such a positive impact on so many people from here tonight looks of back to the TV shows which could be broadcasted anywhere in the world and now it's kind of like okay I've got this power with this kind of responsibility I need everyone to know this and I'm a bit like not to let your story now he's he's teaching me so much value I want to kind of share with as many people as possible so kind of agree with that because I think that's probably a similar answer to what I would say is well but one thing that I like about you that you're not afraid to show your best way as well yeah in the fact that %HESITATION what if somebody takes a %HESITATION will gets better than me I liked what you because it is about I see isn't that the point is that the point I said my best way to somebody's back as a result of me helping them exactly another people thing with that is because when somebody actually asked me the same question so when I ever started like property or fitness I was just give him everything life or limb like two six and they were like yeah you got a hold of him but to selling those that will not really because the reason I do this is so people live longer and live happy yeah yeah I would like but you should hold some of your stuff back and I said listen can copy me and they can take it that's absolutely fine actually I find that as a compliment because the logic is in me well I think of the material so they can always be one step behind me or the time so I'm happy to kind of give my best because every year even after this conversation of late so much more again and this is one of the podcast because I get to connect with people with more experience more life lessons and I almost level up every single time so I have no fear of giving my best work on that particular day because I know tomorrow is another opportunity to grow give more I nothing obviously you demonstrate that you've been doing that which is why you've been so successful print or not you're very welcome you know what you give me so many compliments and US I say a general I think the same of you I think you are very talented yeah your past that I think he's lacks a lot %HESITATION you know your quality of lax as a law I can tell just by speaking to you today that use change so many people's lives you've done exactly what I did %HESITATION %HESITATION yeah your message press which I got hello all I will definitely be recommending you to a lot of my clients someplace I can't reach some clients don't want to I J. men and women yeah so some men sometimes just want to check with someone that I know you too how to you know send the details of possibly not needs trying it out and because it's made me that I will let you know if you on line and I was somebody exactly like me hi so much passion and drive you want the best for these people and you remind me so much of me I'm right now I will go back and see people cage you are amazing and you know I love people don't give you the option to like today I mean you get the option to to come on and share my life story and I eat I'm so grateful for that because everybody gives you an opportunity not you know I mean you got message to share on something that I think will resonate with a lot of people that say this way and I appreciate that and I always think everybody's always supports me my life I'll always be split them guys you know me you are truly amazing to size I mean give me doc ready I think you know what to me I'd like I said the surface tones but came to meet your true inspiring I've come a lot from you today to keep RC dot so what I'm gonna do is now that she'd read that is all going to walk with the fun part of the show and this is a part of the show where I'm gonna ask you stuff that we haven't touched on so it can be very random topics such as coke or Pepsi for example and the reason I say this is just the kind of give the listeners a bit more of a flavor into the kind of person that you are that you off somebody else other than this driven and passionate person trying to trying to change the world you do like stuff like pizza or met on %HESITATION yeah they yeah until six so it's gonna be about sixty to ninety seconds so whenever you're ready I'll get site yes I'm ready okay we're gonna going three to one if you could abolish one thing in the world what would it be I don't know that's not a good one and I come back to the book okay your favorite hobby as for would you rather know how you would die when you would die when why are you secretly good at that nobody knows a lot of things I just I had a lot of talent no I house unless you're one of the I don't know I think I'm really good at telling jokes your biggest role model okay mumble model on the sea my father what would you like to be remembered for as one of the most all these motivational fitness girls in the U. K. in the world in the well if you could relive one day again what they would it be yeah he thought all I had the most famous Asian gill on and cakes as the day you got through so fast but I wish I had the chance to slow down I have so much to say and the show just gonna finish and that was it and I enjoyed that is amazing the ability to fly %HESITATION being visible invisible the number one thing that annoys you people gossiping about people money or fame your proudest moment see my family so proud of me %HESITATION specially come about from Luxembourg the medals into quickly and I'll be like when I walked in the house lights on these resembles a basically how to best your favorite food the food is actually agency which is by the soft cheese what is your biggest addiction I like chocolate your favorite motivational speaker myself if you could sit with one person in the world for now he would it be and finally we're gonna go back to you if you could about each one thing in the world what would it be toxic people I can't read it so that's the end of the F. on fire and and we're almost out yet the end of the show nine so I just want to ask you to form the questions if I may to read that so high so it's a wonderful thing I'm a firm believer that we can do to get to places quicker easier and less heartache but I'm also a fan believe that the JD teaches us so much as well so what when and always know when everything that you know now with all of your experience in one of your life lessons if you could go back to a young never into maybe twenty three years ago for example and whisper something into it yeah what would you say I go back and say to me da that every note box don't cry obviously but as you've got you know to to to haul a whisper and say you know what never give up and you know what become the best you can and the last question is if in a hundred and fifty years tiny signs vows to save us and all that exists is a book and in this book it's about you it's about the life of an everyday it tells us or them amazing wonderful things or the ups and downs of your life firstly what with the title of the book say and secondly what with the summary at the back tell the person picking up to entice them to read it Hey that that's fun to the book would have thought of me that smile I think he's almost social media I didn't say that never give up always smile and become the best you can yeah it just say you need to read this book like about it just an old car inside the box and it was like something like two twenty three years of my life would not be easy I had a good time to have the bad times did you know what what Judy made me who I am today I'm to be calm the best you all you need to you need to experience but you need to read this book on the yeah what say you know what you want to become strong yeah this is not in this ticket out it will make you the most phone he's accent in the world one of the generator yes I love it six I just before we close the show is there any questions that you wish I'd asked you that maybe you want to convey to the audience no I think can you awesome amazing questions questions that I've never been asked before and it made me think for the fist on on on well it was amazing you know I kinda let so much myself today I think everything you do in your life teaches you something one yeah and after this you know after the podcasts told me so much you know and it's made me a stronger the most mighty kind of pass and you know it might my message is getting across to people %HESITATION and you know and I always used thank you you're very welcome thank you as well for your time and just what I want to do now is give the audience a chance obviously connect with you so what's the best place people can reach I I and maybe tell you in that they listen to the up so just follow your Jenny which I'm sure that it is so much from other social media for me is at the moment my Facebook and Instagram post if you think what I'm doing I'm on my Instagram page which is never in doubt I'm just goal hi yeah that's HA Y. E. R. a discourse so all my Instagram and Facebook zero I see I'm on Instagram Facebook Twitter and linkedin as well but my need to use more of my life coach he motivational best place to find these Instagram you'll always see everything continue and I will kill my clients and law I do can and you know while I have no shade just about it is a mess I colleges I don't I don't feel bad for you because I know at the end of it and get the most amazing body so yeah social media %HESITATION he won T. M. and they want to go on social media because I mean the mile on an eight hi Charlie why he are at Hotmail dot co dot UK fantastic well we'll do is get %HESITATION in those a few the actual property links I'll put him in the show notes so anyone listen to this can list you click info and then directly go straight to the pages so make life a lot easier I would once again thank you for telling me show the store today for everyone at home thanks for listening thank you silence thank you and remember this podcast is absolutely free so all we ask in return is for you to share this with a friend and drop us a five star review over on iTunes have an awesome day

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Never give up and keep smiling #35 by Narinder Hayer

Tagline: "I don't believe in giving up, there is always a way to achieve your dreams"

The tag line of this episode says it all. Narinder Hayer is a public speaker, personal trainer, nutritionist, life coach and so much more. She is someone who broke the barrier and led the way for Indian girls to be a part of the gym and make a sustainable, comfortable lifestyle from health and fitness.

She is never one to shy away from her fears and continues to face all the obstacles in her way, in the only ways she knows best: With a smile and action! She is someone who screams energy, enthusiasm and a raw passion for just wanting to succeed in everything she does. She shares stories of incredible transformations from a few of her relationships and discusses throughout this episode the importance of chasing your dreams.

Narinders message is simple. If you truly want to do and achieve something, you can. But it will require a good work ethic, facing your fears, handling opposition, taking set backs and sometimes feeling lost. But if the goal is worthwhile and your ambition matches your execution then it is 100% achievable as she explains.

Now coaching celebrities, having represented UK too on the health and fitness platform, Narinder has huge hopes for the future of health and fitness and aims to be an inspiration to 1000s. I am sure all her clients, family and friend can be very proud, and I am sure you will all hear the authentic enthusiasm in her message on this show.

Key talking points in this episode:

1. Not being afraid to be different
2. The importance of being yourself
3. Learning to love yourself, within as this will transfer to your external world
4. The importance of never ever giving up on your dreams
5. Never taking no's or set backs as final.

I sincerely hope this episode provides you genuine value. I also urge you to follow Narinders message if it resonated with you, or if you enjoyed this.

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Links to Narinder:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/narinder.hayer.771

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/narinder_hayer_fitness/

welcome to an episode of find your voice a movement led by yours truly Aren Deu a guy who was overcome crippling anxiety adversity and difficulty like so many of you in life whose main goal now is to help you combat your excuses take control of your life write your own story and most importantly find your voice so now without further ado I welcome the host of the show himself Mr Aren Deu what's going on people thank you for tuning into another episode of falling your voice my name is Aren and as always I am the host of the show so I'm delighted to have to bring to you today a lady who has really paved the way for women in the health and fitness industry during that hi yeah no no in the highs being in Luxembourg she's been on TV's worldwide she's represented England for so many things in relation to health and fitness but more importantly than that I something that I really connected with was her true in daring nature you see no interest somebody he just genuinely care as she gently wants to see people change their lives for the back and even more importantly should I say something that actually goes through the whole theme of the show is that she writes her own story each and every day she has completely scrapped the stereo type of what Asian lady should do she is empowering ladies from all across the world and she just so insightful in the way that she won conducts a self but T. it depends moving forward so somebody who I can definitely see myself potentially colliding with on some health and fitness stuff as all right you want to try to disrupt that space just a little bit myself but I'm conscious this is a long interview somebody let you stop rambling now and once again it's one of thank every single one of you for the massive support this podcast is growing ahead of a lot quicker than I thought so that is %HESITATION down to you guys and the incredible guess I've had on it so without further ado let's get this interview on the way okay so I'd like to start off by welcome in every day to the show today she has Carly taken time out of a day to share his story so knowing that if you wouldn't mind if you could kind of well first actually how you doing today I five are and how you a lot thank you sorry I almost forgot to welcome you to the show it's okay this is the second time recording today so much he just that I lost my train of thought is off so it's very important obviously I've had a little bit about your story just before we even start this podcast if you could give the listener is an insight in relation to your Janie and up about yourself basically what brings you here today find your voice okay %HESITATION right side my name's me to head out I've been in the house with the this industry twenty three yes and it's twenty three yes I'm talking when I still eat there was no %HESITATION I should be in the gym it was not no information woman's being that Jim Jones I was always told it was okay the Asian boys to be that the culture is a bit different at the time %HESITATION funny enough when I actually went into the gym there wasn't even that Asian boys so it's actually the Haitian pastor in the gym it was it was hot it wasn't the most easiest thing you know it's kind of discriminated against I was gonna knock down several times that many I kinda down the chain I'm a very very strong pass and so on let me go back to how it started so when I was quite young I used to watch my brother is trying on a similar kind of nice to find it quite expiry that break up early in the morning the training and I'm talking like four or five in the morning but not the pop come bokeh chin upset I'll be like well you know what I have to deal with these I'm not well my purpose can do I can do so it was one of those I was kind of into fitness I love this site %HESITATION you know it was just something not quite a spider that was kind of my hobby six seven anybody want to define me that black medicine that you know some easy you could lose mate was actually if it was anybody's wedding at resume da she's in the gym fast to erect cock it was kinda like yeah so that was my karma sentries and I kind of looked at and that's something that nobody can ever take away from you that's kind of my hobby or sign away have confiscated and that's kind of my place where I kind of got it because she had so I remember when I was quite young I said to my dad %HESITATION okay so my dad kinda has become I'm not a job I think is amazing %HESITATION as I was almost on the of how the simple and this is why I'm gonna go out but a how to guide because of my family members and my that's where three years ago okay so I'm thinking of going into fitness I'm my dot com I mean it was not very much in those days it was it not for nation gal to go in the gym I'm my document okay so you guys but if you're serious about it do it you can always talked about that goes just also try on you know you education what you wanted to as I'm still gonna do my degrees and still gonna do Michael sees but this is something I think crime I want to do I think he's got a long way my dad goes well okay if you're gonna do that coach of the boys want to kill kill can do I don't remember that twenty three a and %HESITATION I wait Todd I did I literally I kinda tried with a lot of amazing he fitness guru sensible on these guys eighteen took me into the reading told me what I needed to I mean again I answered I might be a very very strong sweetness lament %HESITATION and I appreciate all the support of out of the twenty three as a lobbyist and knocks me but a lot of people supported me %HESITATION you know the kind of open the doors and I'm so grateful for every possible I hot I'll buy you know what you'd be shocked I'm actually so great for the people that not me as every not box made me the strong I need to get out tonight so I'm actually quite thankful because it made me who I am so twenty three S. I kind of did a lot of cool seats I come to train with a lot of amazing people are rex I love the jeans I %HESITATION I would say %HESITATION I'm a child accounts and I lost which counsel a motivational speaker on the minute you stop you can construct on the beach body coach and %HESITATION instructs out the insanity it's my favorite blackout locating everybody I say I'm I'm one of those guys which writing is located okay if you're breathing on the floor I'll check to see if we give you some more about how you got a free shot back out %HESITATION so whatever levy getting the results if you're not gonna put the effort in so I'm also part of and six in the city which is a famous London team which is for about four just saying is if I somebody does and and support minus lies so %HESITATION I'm part of it and he's under that is old he's my inspiration and I think if he can do that I can do that so I'm part bees at ready Tina team as well I went to Luxembourg recently on the thirty first of may represent quite Brett I represent six in the seat with my team represent T. Asian women represent to date at my religion my committee amazing running sixteen thousand people it was over twenty eight degrees it was the hardest thing of my life but what I kept thinking these and after you've got to grab the medals you need not just one because we went through into faith which is a run for world peace I all the nations and all the coaches come to get it was a fascinating to learn about different cultures I kind of fun I was so interested in not I met so many different people from different countries as well and we went to represent season I want to come back and it's funny the amazing thing all I kept thinking about it he hit sixteen thousand people you sort of collapsing but I can't think his rent out you gotta get these looks about minimum because when you get the swan you'll get the interfaith while which means that you represented %HESITATION I would because I was used in the U. K. I caught fire I don't fight it write it to me I believe in up to a point where I don't make the mistake get up and do it again so I do the I. five O. several times in life but I got up go up and did it again but when I'm excited when you give up before you even tried and you can't do that so if the website and I count I'm not I'm not like happen every always how to never be I don't believe in that's too bad I was nothing you can't do in life it's not really the tensions in your life you can be what ever you want to be and I fixed it twenty three S. amaze it might break K. after twenty yet %HESITATION I introducing sounded to to move on someone to hold on to James it can be expressed in stock it came in the Asian newspaper and next minute the radio shows a ringing me up %HESITATION and then expect somebody okay to beat the comics playing exactly what I've done or not you need to come on the show a wreck everything is nice and I hot how did a couple of obviously because I've been working alongside a remote clients %HESITATION base it went on the show with a couple of out of state and I thought that was like oh my god what what Jerry just think how this might of us next in a live interview went to Europe became one of the most famous Asian gals I'd be on Asian boys twenty three years ago so what Asian boys could it today in the gym it was as you go on the show to ask how they came one of the most famous Asian gals %HESITATION and to go with the most qualifications sigh I have my fish out and ate it comes up %HESITATION I recalled on Wednesday said it show in Asian community on by seven seven one %HESITATION every sat at one thirty and you know what it's so shocking I recorded but I never watch it I don't like the box was not I don't know why I DO nobody's when I look back on it because I criticized offsite knowledge which is get criticism is good but I know I could have them back so I know if I don't watch it I know I made mistakes I'm not I'll do better next time some very critical about myself if you can take criticism be quick critical by itself and take criticism from other people may choose from the past so you know I've kind of done quite a lot of a lot on %HESITATION and then after that %HESITATION unlock doors of life and %HESITATION again I went to see doctor that came back and beat up on a lot of Asian shows %HESITATION I've been to speak for a lot of and so the S. I train about celebrities newsreaders models %HESITATION you know you have the American weight loss %HESITATION so I I do a U. K. version of the song yeah I've had a lot of sounds stories last about a year ago %HESITATION she was twenty twenty five and we ship on a lot right and I mean that was quite a lot she went to a doctor and I talked to said we're not going to Saudi Arabia to say so he goes you need to do so by although I should have gone to see a family you're not you're not gonna see nobody at that point okay because I'm a qualified counsellor she came to me for accounts and she cried as she was made up I'm a Die because I talked to tell me a minute docks so what what support do you talk to and she goes well okay just said on the city's right unless I log in it shows what you offer not just being told him in a tight in your life you know it's not you do not I met some training I was like you know well I will help you through this journey I will get you to that point we will lose the right to get it in a way because the team because I tried alongside my client against on that I don't believe it's under the table motivation starts when you get on the next machine you feel like they did so I chained up and %HESITATION we got down she lost a lot already she then met I love you mom she got married Genovese it was amazing and to go to that wedding when you know it's time to make a speech and told that you know thank you what was life like right that's when you know you're a good passer try as much as I trainees about %HESITATION how many clutch we have the I will control the jeans and then I got twenty thousand I got these I'm not reading I'm like you know what constitutes morning Paul and when my clients good and they got I mean do you know what I'm smiling I feel good I know that I'm a pessimist raise your clients will make you well I'm and I don't know I've always been a strong passing I don't believe in giving up I've never gives I don't I don't believe in that I've always been a strong positive past maybe because of how the support of my family and even now you can show how many people say to make me to give it up you've done enough not you've done so much in your life and I'm not not I haven't it's it's funny I'm not you know what happened in the book well I'm not not that I'm I'm just about to start on the like the you don't twenty three yes I'm not not on what I have in mind today I haven't saw it so these a working on all of that and projects %HESITATION you know some people with disabilities I think everybody has a right to have a chance to trade it doesn't matter what you disabilities you know everybody has the right to feel exactly and I feel good about themselves because training is not about just getting a great body about make you feel good inside I like to make my feet my clients feel good inside and shot it shows on the outside as well fitness is about is about your mind it's about your body and your confidence and I think everybody has a right no matter what ever you disability so I'm I can but a little when I say she's a crime not I have a lot of qualifications welcome to people with disabilities I'm kind of excited to get the ball rolling on the outside the shit and I think they deserve the opportunity %HESITATION I wax or live a U. K. let's not get my chest undead %HESITATION I travel a lot with back depending on when the clients I DO Scott visit and bought yet Scott that cats are too high visits I'm a lot of clients in America %HESITATION yeah basically everywhere and anyway I'm Tom yes I did I don't know I start even now I don't believe in giving up %HESITATION you know after after I've done this with this effort because maybe I thought went today never feel your energy coming through my computer screen right now and I'm I'm say in half as opposed to trying to myself actually and I'm kind of like yes this is the kind of a because this is the kind of person trained about all I would advocate for so I really recommend person trained is not when I went to prison training it was the tree for the happiness of fulfillment to change somebody's life yeah because I know higher losing five change my life I don't care for yeah once T. of numbers I don't I don't necessarily care for the paycheck either it was about instilling that Paris is called to see them really to transform their lives so when you said about how you change that woman's life that was a beautiful story because I've had clients who have come up to me and David you said the best years of their life was the time that they tried to make and sometimes it was not necessarily even the way because it was more about how they felt when they were around me and just that self confidence I was able to give him so I know just from the way you're speaking on the sea you've got to have a lot of experience a lot more than myself that you do that with your clients which is and I've got a list of questions here and I want at least a point someone in real life because your stories fascinated so basically twenty three years in the game now I've been preaching health and fitness fo the best pop eight nine years and the reason I Pratchett is slightly different reason it's it's the fact that I'm just fed up of see people die at around me family friends and eight AM seven and I'm just like why are we not prioritize and a house and it is probably one of the the few a posh is that when I try to work so like on going to depart because not to do you love it I do property investing you are the business is like still keep going back to health so I conversation for another day art your brains because I have some divisions in terms of how we want to disrupt the health sector as well myself and see I think your knowledge would be valuable for that you mentioned no boys Asian boys in the gym at twenty three years ago and that's probably the truth of it because even ten years fifteen years ago when I was at university there was like two guys who actually went to the gym I bet you thought they were weird because while we were too busy drinking vodka and eating kebabs and doing all that crazy exactly that with those ten this is going to the gym you would think it you're wasting unity but straight after university dot such you when I actually started to take my health service in a kind of kick myself in which I went back I also love the lesson that your dad said to you and I think that's a brilliant point go show the boys while I go can do I think that's that's fantastic and it's empowering full any ladies out there who maybe fail that fitness isn't for them it's it's a male thing because it's not it's a passive thing we can also enhance our minds and our bodies and our company history fitness and can you just while we're live on show because I always say this to people not trying to advocate women get into some sort of training can you please dispel the myth that would be able to simply and a reply on the shores think of when the pickle weights I always get a lot of women that come and try and that a lot you're not going to sing I'm not because white pickup more white and got locked out of it that I look at me it's it's you know what it is I think sometimes you listen to so much and you start to believe it you think it's because the guys pick up the right to think what it looks like that it doesn't happen all I am actually I'm really slim but I'm very strong and you can still have a very feminine body still be the most strongest and may think passengers I pick up a lot like and I don't look like a man and I swear I might sound like one teacher is teaching a boxing class and I've called I lost my voice %HESITATION about no you need to mix cardio you need to mix cardio and weights you need to DO resistance wet because about to get one of the most amazing bodies Claudia will make you so lame and skinny the cardio machines and the weight of the dumbbells are the ones that will give you the shape you to combine the two together and I made I say that to every that's my comes at you with a lot we meet on this this week I studies in drama gonna tending to Amman I'm not know why I'm not white he told you that at such and such tell me that I'm not no I always say to my clients that at the end of that I bring my life coach my comes name what is it yeah and I say look into the peace officer making a living you for a while you do pass I tried it but then it teach you how to love yourself once you learn to let me stop you look at this around you you become very inspiring in a meeting and I'm one of those people I don't I think if I find somebody very toxic or negative I don't work that way I woke up sick as I thought about that being a positive passing a wake up the sign right and I and my site I'm always smiling we'll talk only say it's like a speech everybody in the gym I make it my mission to speak to every single pass and in every July and they're going to because you never know when that might need you as sometimes lacking the industry you have to be approachable you have to be at you know kind of friendly towards like you're in the wrong job I have a lot of people come up to me inside so me %HESITATION train is don't smile all you guys could be chest high and I'm like you know what I'm not like that because all I eat if I tell you the %HESITATION just quick story because we sent a in one of the gyms we had a young twenty one year old killed that will say and she sat in the changeover how to Hans covering half iceage was crying I was about to go into each and I remember next poems in towns and I quickly went to change your game on I saw this young gal and I saw this in that with the house kind of light over ice and I was like you okay and she looked up my chest me what did you just ask me how I am and nobody my life has ever asked me about reading I'm not really she does not mean that nobody from my family and my friends have never asked me she was quiet on what you know watch like if you're hot and she does she'll tell me I went no no funny business I'm not like and I kind of broke the ice to start it off I know what you know well what is it you can talk to me I said you know I'm a life coach constructs what you tell me today's confidential BC you have to you know it's confidential she told me to shed its like story because she wants others to realize that you can change your life and she goes we drop I am the bodies and the ladies in the office the grown women with children picking me up because I'm all the way express my head down the toilet wow just not still happen and she was like man dell I get please because I'm over by and she does I I don't like the slight and you can tell this child was depressed and I went okay if I made you a promise I promise you from today and I will change your life I will give you the most amazing body for you I will make you the will meant that nobody will pecan I will turn the tables and make you the most strongest woman if you out with meant she kind of some interest thank you I said no I haven't even done anything yet I was that you don't need to say thank you she was I mean that you're twenty minutes late I'll be T. class I was like these people away you can't and you know what I'll be when I went back to Mel B. T. class they would touch you got me I was not yet ladies get over it but I was I was a child I thought as a child that needed help to that and I'm glad I stop for that child I defy anybody and you know the following day the shop the young gay okay made a call to talk because I'm she's younger she came in to walk me about kind of how it is and she will make chocolate some psych rock festival next to the gym you can bring them in it's not don't give them to each other it's like bringing back he's into that you start it up and she was like this is the US and why I haven't done that she is known to be dating site my like last night I was in that to think right when I got myself together I'm going to do and get as many tablets as I can I'm gonna kill myself she wanted overdoses south and that was the end of it she goes because you gave me a hug and stopped to ask me how was you say my line right I literally cried in the remote site all my god I was like look if I had never stopped which always well I'm not that kind inside for example say somebody did stop I talked with and I did a lot and all because your body because you're overweight I don't like that I think the the council I've dealt with you've been used I deal with eating disorders I deal with cancer patients I do a lot of people and you know what is I do not like please I cannot stop I know nobody does it you know what is in use twenty three S. as accounts and every time there's somebody sitting in my office and that was to help people I'm not about how do you know what people need to stop you need to look at yourself before you pick on somebody else never thought you respect you know what she's all deal with them never because somebody else because it's so wrong and you know what that site when I realize I should I say this child's life so then we started training we got to that point we work with a cast of music to help %HESITATION we've had case she won the case all the people in the office will fight it she's not the assistant managing the office with the most amazing body she loves to sell she has she has a new team of people or young so inspiring and she does not you size model she comes in the jeep and the funny thing is every time I see yes that you're looking very sexy she does you know I look at you guys nobody to tell me and I waited a long time for that you don't tell me about a one point two Charles ones and a lot of shops every time we see out she's or why he's kind of like me that you know what sexy I'm not yet I waited a long time for that this is what I'm saying always make you job say hello to everybody I I deliveries to it because you never know it's only because she knew that I always approach anybody she was I mean it you know thank you so that's why I'm signed up being in the industry isn't just about being a past which right now and I yeah you know it's not that many clients it's about looking after these people carry you gotta be carried these people even if it's not your client you always got to be supported why he's giving everybody a comp you Max these guys will come easy sometimes I see people saying that I'm not you okay no doubt about that coming this summer job I do that I would do for anybody because I see like these my family went to the gym I'd want the site site support from my family you gotta be that for everybody likes to show it so precious you can't discriminate and I think a lot of I recently you know had a lot of comments from a lot of public in the gym and I can sight not even on small yes I'm trying to start small don't talk to us I'm not I'm not I talk to you much you know me I did I think that's why my life coach at a motivational speech it's a kind of good quality to have people or why he cites made when he talked about I'm not thank you for the compliment I never take anything top because you know what everything has a meaning if you tell me it's not so much I'm not thank you I read a note that's why I became a motivational speaker I'd somebody you said you you need to stop what you're doing don't do you modify it you've got enough matter I know with that comment came from it comes from a good place so I'm not roll you know what then you sit back and you think you know what you have issues but they're not my problem you know to me so I I don't give up no matter how many times and like I said twenty three is a long time to be knocked down and knocked down several times on you know what I was right now if you guys can do these I can do that I'll just because I'm Asian Gil doesn't matter who you are it doesn't matter what religion doesn't my what culture if you're a man or woman never give up because you know what thanks to shore you can be what ever you want somebody says you you can't do it you know what to think sit back and think to yourself why can't you can't you know maybe I'll be lucky because of how to support my family but that's become like my manager at the moment my dot you truly will all go up to exit out what you think about this project I've been often these days my doctor now so we will yeah I'm a god is amazing yes I was late and I don't think a lot of people have that support I know it's hard but you know what never give up because you look back and regret it I do a lot of people I'm not you know what what did you want to be you know you that conversation when you're young in the greatest advising us what would you like to be when you grow up about the conversation with a lot of people in the gym and they're not I want to do this but I never did I'm not whites all is just get a fighting I'm not reading out it's never too late to try it you know these people try to you know what thank you I try and help everybody as much as I can I don't I don't believe in giving up I I just think small goes a long way it's funny the most powerful thing I have and I always see like these must must be the most powerful thing that somebody nobody could ever take away from me because that's something that makes me who I am and I saved a life as for a lot of people %HESITATION so yeah I am also thankful to god I say my parents taught me but you know what the end of the day I always state right to go out and say thank you for your help I I'm happy and you know every good thing the opposite my lot I do I go to the temple thank you as you cannot forget god without doubt there's nobody and that's my that's my you know I've been in about it %HESITATION but a lot of people have helped me over the years and I'm so thankful %HESITATION you know a lot of people still which why not me I'm not you know what there's no way you can knock a strong woman you caught not someone who knows if they going on just love that so it gained under point someone up on a kind of put out of this if I may basically I just wanna say obviously there was %HESITATION the whole support network which you've been fortunate to have for anyone who doesn't have a support network I think we definitely need to look at the only two people like yourselves to the new windows in the vote even myself always try to go out my way to help someone whether it's a phone conversation %HESITATION face to face me up just to try to support people there are genuine you people out there who will take time of the day to help so don't always think that always more moment I don't believe in me thus it my dreams are over because I have to go against the grain on set in decisions in my life and in hindsight I'm so grateful that I just bit the bullet and took those phase out the way because actually turned out okay so definitely recommend people to do that another thing I picked out from you is that I long settled is vibrant and bubbly energy does a person who truly K. as in not a not so you'll be what kept you going as a personal trainer I love that about you because one of the things I resonate with on the is not that's how I felt with my clients I could feel that pain saw was that somebody was always naturally in great shape I was in OK shape our country really bad shape then I got back into shape so I could always kind of empathize what they're going through one of the things that really hurts me to this day so I stopped I actually want to one trading for a long time now and some of my clients have kind of gone back to their old habits Bubsy changing this circle of interest and I didn't really get side when I see them not and I still feel like having invested in that they're a part of me and I always feel like I haven't done much of property that they haven't been able to sustain it and even to this day does does does somebody got to listen to the shows the public knows you're talking about it would mean the world for me to see him go back to how we used to be because there's so much potential there by gay like to kiss don is the G. about taking that motivation I think especially when you've done it once so really you cannot speak from experience you've been day you've had these holidays for some people that may be having how did this difficult all I know just quickly going back to my place here he's been there he shape and this is for anyone one if you've been there yourself or to it to somebody else has been there in the world that shows you as possible yeah that's what it sort of I I and I'm gonna say great now that because I am curious how you've got so much energy now I have a lot of energy for about eight hours of the day yeah I saw that you so I'm not sure interpret surprisingly enough Lafayette suffered a lot shyness in his eye and a lot of the times somebody was smart on the wall would have to do with our small part it's the new look at the floor so it looks like on boarding up when I was never avoided a prose too shy to actually made that quite content I'll change nine but what I want to know is one obviously how you keep descended yet because I'm sure we could all do with that top of this if if it's available but what's your what's your daily routine from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to sleep at night you know what festival going back to the top of it it is no trouble only is basically I don't believe in giving up I think you get once make the most of your life and like you said you see in a lot of people also let him you know what we see I've got loads of close friends who passed away I have a lot of kinds includes kinds of patients who passed away and that broke my heart you realize that you know wall you could be here today and gone tomorrow you gotta make the most of your life so you can do it I would say to everybody I'm gonna go as far as I can tell all I think that's you know but it's never going to be you know I'm so for me I don't know I wake up in the morning I kind of lie I don't know I kind of hate to go I wish you a lot people like you don't know religious but where does he said you have to look religious ready to go out I thank god a one to one basis that's my relationship with my car I wake up I pray to god I'm not quite a gives me not strong motivation I'm not right I'm ready for the day I do not like this all right above the pass and so there's nothing in your diet that gives you this expect that healthy you know I have breakfast and then you should be all a lot of the men make the mistake of mixing me wasn't thinking that get the most amazing body it it doesn't lock you need to be having breakfast let's do not to knock and I make it why is housewife who died too much I have a daughter with me so make sure that I he take exactly I'm eating healthy I do have a treat every so often I mean a lot people think that you cannot you have to live that life if you're on a diet no I have everything keep modulation I have all the treats I want I have everything I don't even give up two parties I love to buy these and I can't give up my house basically so I eat very healthy throughout the day %HESITATION if I feel like I need something I'll have it I don't give up I still have everything in moderation well my attitude I don't know what she can do because I think what it is for me twenty three years of being knocked out every not bad made me strong ago so and it made me realize wow that's a very very negative press people in the cell and then I realize I mean the right job because that's how spent the house well he was a speaker at an event a couple weeks ago and you know talk about mental health and fitness actually does help out in the press that is all a T. depression anything can align fit ness releases endorphins as you know you know when you're training it releases a stress you need to be in that gym because of the sea a lot of people think hi consoles that will not solve the problem and I don't know I always just I'm just always been a positive but I'm not signed everything goes cafe in my life and every day he's not going to I hop but they sometimes but you know how I analyze it %HESITATION well you know what what was a bad day something goes wrong I'm not okay eat on working on a project and to go through I'm not okay it was not meant it wasn't meant for me yeah it's a great job thank you think you know what I cried about it what are you going to do so I went somebody a long time ago and he gave me this advice you guys if that's something physical in your hand you can change change it to that %HESITATION physical why you gonna cry stress yourself and make yourself go about it so I always remember the I'm not was one of the managers when working in accounting he was with me and he goes to minimum dot remember this for the rest of your life and I don't remember the name of the yes and I think to myself you know some truth so if I got a project and it wasn't meant for me I'm not allowed you know well what can I do next it pushes me even more motivates me more to read something else so I don't believe in giving up yet nice not all right perfect and probably some of the most likely I'm always slightly outside I'm joking I love the mall %HESITATION jokes how for the timing of the loss of the drugs and all you crave these jokes my clients and they look at me like media craze yeah but you know what so why do nobody any hawk how will be passed always happy because maybe like I said he knocked for twenty three years is a long time of being knocked down and every not back made me a stronger Gail I thought how did you knock me like all right for example hi %HESITATION couple of em yes I got I want to do that we and that was the show when it was that kind of life coaching and I said to the guy a BC which I like to come right and he goes yeah once a month it was like like coming his stage I'm on a story is about and he was a light blue at that point he sold the skills quite strong she comes on this day she's going to overtake my shop and actually he's thinking was wrong I want to I each collaborate and become the most powerful people on stage he think that fall so he %HESITATION inside the box no onsite and go head to make you show even better than what it was and he goes no thank you not this time most about and at that point I was let me go it was like wow these he won't let me on stage some all night and then be analyzed each the fact he had beat almost social media page check out get not skills to awful looking at that stage and this website sometimes people take it the wrong way so he let me on and the following week find another way and ended up on somebody else's show so that even came about absolutely this is one size something's not meant for you you're not meant to work with people and I thought wow I didn't know I thought I did shoot and I'm like that's right presents what weight I. light weight can be strong motivational inspiring people support not not cute if they're gonna not me I don't know what could that you know me and but I will never lack connect to people if you're gonna not me I will never record I twenty three years of the Knox noble so now I'm one of those people if you come across as quite negative and toxic and you find me intimidate eight then I won't work but I'm not intimidated passable humble guilt you have to wear at twenty three Hodges my dad the Eiffel Michaels is my dad said to me if I give you the money for each course he goes you will never understand the meaning of money so all right well I do not invested in my old cell I tried this leads many not get from that are the best in the next calls on the next all my equipment and I built my business like that I have that much equipment in every location on like art I don't even know what else is wrong %HESITATION I'm a very very down to earth pass and sometimes it looks deep I look at your yes my stuck up I'm not that kind of because I could be still call even if I tried I'm a very humble down to as Asian funny GTO that's what I am and somebody comes up to me is that he just well I will give you a hundred ten percent I'm not that kind of pass it even if it's something I can help you with I will find a way to help you will recommend you to the right people I don't believe in giving up and I don't even know how I help every single president no matter what it is even if it out my compass %HESITATION I will go out of my way to help you spend thank you you know what your battery's five eight that is the first time it's five you have such a positive vibe about you you come across a might be so much of may and okay so I don't I have twenty three as your age at you to me it sounds equals may decide well I because I love that's not to say I love the motivation I love what you're doing I mean these podcasts I'm like all my god how to make that this man has done so much and trying to get the people to help people and I look for thank you so much for that all that's there is something that really hit a note with yes please when you said that guy who was afraid of you coming on the shelf not if I have to you almost kind of from the outside look at yourself and look at me way completely different in terms of your very energetic and very it wears I'm quiet and more I suppose I quit laid back no delays because it sounds better one thing that actually excites me is the %HESITATION I'm sitting here thinking I need to come up with this person on something something to change people's lives because we always get exactly the same thing also you know amazing exactly and I don't have the space to mourn set off %HESITATION death and I'm trying to because at the end of the day what's going to happen is say for instance we were on stage you're gonna get X. amount of people are gonna resonate with you better there's gonna be except for we have our own or just put together what you're doing that you're talking to a much wider audience and always believe that we should always try to have the abundance mind set because it how many times you kind and we have the same values and ethics because %HESITATION what I'm hearing from you is your cat for the people or your stories relate back to how you've helped somebody at an absolutely loved and that's pretty much it meet in a chat well I've had a lot of like I said because we're trying to see the not wet creek I when I go trying to clients and redox you out too much experience what we've already got this online white which is always out you guys exactly equal survey SO training like you said it's not about just having someone clients are not only I say that to anybody I'm like you know what all I'm not suitable for you guys you know there's so many amazing people out that only difference Whitney's I train alongside my clients if I had and the thing because I think I will get with every single machine these people because I want to make you feel special that time I'm a very professional training when I train my clients will be safe I don't talk I speak to anybody in the gym but when I'm trying to my clients my focus is on my client that one out of spending with these people is my focus if somebody comes at the height of the dot I just put my hand up and not say you will not get comes out to meet us my client is a mostly pound hello that said it not Rick for me because I have paid for that time they want they want the results all you don't believe in easy back out I'm kind of like a killing machine if you guys come to my class you got a couch eating out you had a good workout I have a lot of my clients who would text me let me go read out you killed me I cannot sit on the toilet skis I can't get it to bet on coffee I mean I %HESITATION and I'm like I spun off and locked and then not your marble I'm not no give me a couple of days your ring me back in your blood you know I feel good they do he's on site sometimes people don't understand what has some training for me that's what I need overruled is about clearing your mind yeah I did shoot your confidence shuttle lifestyle and it's about mental health it will bring that everything for you it's not just about getting amazing party SO training for me is it not as a Chinese I will make you feel good insight and I she stopped to lead to love what you have on your side everything went yeah if your happy yeah how do you approach to the people how you have conversations I will be even more policy I said you will attract positive people you been positive I think not our whole and you know me but I did find a lot because we train is Connie using the same technique a lot of hassles like this I've come across I'm not saying this some amazing people that yeah %HESITATION but I'm I'm just talking about I see you on it they always need they know that I'm talking about it hello and I would bet you that nobody's okay I know but I'm saying sometimes it's just about training and I was over there good bye see you later bye let's see now it's just the training is not the personal side and the personal size that's the most important thing social key I'm like wow sorry and I'm so can somebody recently I like I said someone may ask train is out there the amazing talented people I'm talking about Pacific for them on the talent that I believe it should be mentioned and he was like yeah whatever so he was so he's going to hear it basically yeah it is watching you guys okay I was on the back catch it about yeah that's all I thought well I think people like that and this isn't to kind of light what people are now allowed speak up I think it's a bit like you know when people go for normal job just hate their job where as some people genuinely love that job so when I was in person training I actually Jan you need is love being there where is the whole approach of all my god the times of hall five when I was in corporate I couldn't wait to leave the office off I sent like kind of I can relate to them so what I would probably suggest to those people is is personal training actually for you because it isn't as easy as let me ride Jim plan and then I stand there and kind of the reps it's a fight physically it takes a lot of energy it takes a lot of mental energy takes about physical energy especially if you get involved yourself is off and you have to be a hundred percent committed to changing that pisses life used the truly invested in your services so I always think when people celebs can become a best trying to because that they have that you can make the for your wife of about a month I'm like you you're going into it for the wrong reasons is going to be this will be something intrinsic within you that Jen you want to see people change if that makes sense so I thought it ready for me when I mean it's SO tried it wasn't about the money just Soviet and everybody was like well you know how much you can and I was like no I'm gonna help you I mean if you want the twenty eight I love helping people even when I was younger I always being back having like and I'm like if I can help somebody if you put a body %HESITATION and they would like would you not you don't want to know what you have right now that will come and then he went to get away about but if you call me the view that I'm gonna put you on hole it's it's a wrong way to think up yes you've got to be paid I understand not that you know what you have to care about what's his what's right able and you cannot just out I'm self catch you later yeah I think the key and this is kind of more why trying tell people is find something not one of the C. makes you happy yeah makes you for failed and then the money itself you know come from some place people tasted the opposite way they're going for the money that the fed up with the %HESITATION than the one copy and I'm not switch that around the only problem is is when we do it probably our way as I'm sure you can you can test of this when I first life has tried it wasn't any more money than their previous jobs I was doing but I was enjoying it obviously for which the whole nine I was he would be fine but I didn't have the energy especially when I started it was I do a session and then up to maybe another one that I need a break and it's difficult it's tiring which is why I find you inspiring in terms of you seem to have this consistent headed yet again we're gonna find out how to put in a bottle cause gonna sell it should make the money but I have yeah it's a brilliant thing and I just wanted to touch on just before we move on to the next question one other important thing that you touched on to anyone hearing this story now you seen somebody he seems very confident who is confident he's very great at what they do but they also mentioned something really important and that was that you have bad days I'm not something always trying to help people that don't always look at what you see on social media and I assume the everyone's having this perfect lifestyle because I'm in the day it's very rare somebody's gonna think or do you know what I'll just post my shit and social media so it's refreshing to hear that you have these bad days but he's already absolutely if somebody says that they've never had a bad day they lying if somebody is ever if somebody can put their hand up and say never been depressed they line up is made the number one thing is I teach everybody I guarantee you that has %HESITATION fruit something in the lot doesn't matter the most successful people in the world hot hot times like that you make sure you meant if you've never been through it the line you know me I know everybody I hop so amazing successful people that I train it'll be for it but you know what that's made in the past and they all decide what that's like but it's how you deal with that you can either cut up and the lights are out or do something about it and I'm one of those people like if a project goes wrong %HESITATION something goes wrong you know what that's okay to shop for you know we're gonna find another I mean she can I find the whole to do anything %HESITATION and I get in that way and that got kind of like yeah I don't believe in giving up there's always a way to get into something that you wanted to on our love dot it's about people some people don't want sexy you be shocked how many people are waiting for me to file even now I I have so many people have supported me over the edge from amazing trainer is to is to is to solve many people bought is also a handful of people who don't want me to succeed and Molly you know my comment to these people is you know what there's no way you can not me you know to me so how can you not somebody who doesn't even given up yeah call but it would be nice to see more people like me more like you sell inspired beat you know helping out community and let people know that the all people that will support you anybody anybody sends me a message and we don't want to get into these old my clientele is not very good what can I do I will go out of my way to help you to make you the best because he wrote motos that's what it's about making you guys even better hi yeah read read different personalities I suppose in the us up enough I as I exactly the same but there is a lot of people in the world you don't like that and they want to see people do well and is a pretty cold I want to see do well but never as good as them I cannot get the I think it's a sketch to mine so I think we need to be in a place of abundance in terms of support as many people as you possibly can because the more people you support the more support in retrospect you'll get yourself is all and that's how I can move quicker in the road so I I love that you do that I suppose what we're trying to do is almost fine collapse people's Janie's because we've got the eight years of experience that ideally it would be great if not we have to go through the years to get to where we are not loved not within the first year maybe two years so %HESITATION it's it's brand well my med like I said I'm a mental for young students who want to get into fitness I'm sorry well I am trying to do you kind of hit on the night trying to get take the twenty three yes these people that anyone it is less than twenty three yes I want these guys to be the best because that reflects on you if you make a bet then you I don't wanna needs today we have all models to these young says and I'm not sure if you guys want to be back you want to be better than me and you like it was like now I don't think that then you got my note reading I'm gonna make you better yeah as if I make you better than me you have done I don't what I needed today and you'll the next role model if you were the next strong guilt you're the next one next and you know what we've done it we stock eat the bulls already %HESITATION you know and all I see everything because the tricks of the trade I mean every project I wanna come on all you will share that with everybody I need to tell you guys why I did this but how about how bout these the cat hobby to divest background behind you we define quality is like I said I'm a life coach got some motivational aside many different qualifications make you a very strong now I have a lot of qualifications in my hand I actually have the molds qualifications %HESITATION and that's why I ended up with my shop that's because I don't believe in giving up even now when I finish one project among the next I never stopped and I don't know maybe that's why I'm really bubbly all the time I'm not right next challenge although not next what what I'm doing to myself up to that point where I have everything in one hand so it makes you the most strongest possible Gail in the west Midlands and that's why in the world at the minute I'm thinking that's a three nine it's on the anything people out there out sick makes it but there's no reason why you call be the you know the face of the world and I think with your enthusiasm and with your knowledge and stuff you should definitely try and obviously I mean not right away you know I would love to work with you and see if %HESITATION you know obviously everybody sneaks into this you are amazing thanks much I would love to collaborate with you you come across as for me you said yes to me doesn't seem like a guesstimate site you're exactly the same as me and I'm not up on the web these press and you have the energy you have to drive you have the passion and you want to do good for these people I'm not I would love to it is in on it so it could be just me we're definitely not on the station could you also touched on the disabilities is on and one of my siblings and long story short is when they first came they croon walking straight lines and stuff so that to do a lot of %HESITATION patient therapy and one of the things that hit me was they will get in segregated at school and there weren't a lot to pay for what I goals and stuff and you really upset me and one of my passions and it was one of my goals I wrote down and I kick myself because you know how you go through life and the life takes of you get certain things that you you were supposed to do one of my goals is actually to create something for children with autism children with learning difficulties to have the ability to do fitness so you touched on this at the beginning of the episode early trip mate and all of it so I think it's a conversation with obviously take out of this podcast let's make an impact can the globalization's now this yet %HESITATION along projects on the cell because I think everybody from adults to young children have every they should have the same opportunities as everybody else and they should never be said we'll get and it's such a shame that you know that at school especially when such a young age that kind of life separate eat old they cannot take part in an event and I think every child has every right to be part of it is about how they do it yeah I if I can help not just out of those children of the what I needed today that that is the practice of my job so the middle part I'm not you know what yes you know what we'll do a great job with this witness well thank you for that yeah you wreck on worldwide if you would come with me because we need to access is out there so I'm gonna segue little bit dense you've had obviously not box after not blacks throughout your journey into and I can only imagine how difficult it is for a lady to go into a a predominantly male industry especially when you did and that being Asian on top of that as well but you've come through and I think it's gonna be ever done for anyone listening up until this point that nothing's going to really stop you which is fantastic and I should inspire people that a lot of it is just our self belief I'm always said just like looking for when the door just silo hole just to kind of find your way through I really love that what I want to ask you that is in this particular moment right now what is your actual biggest fear I see Molly I don't want to be safe yeah I want to be out of that to help as many people as I can in the U. K. on me maybe if it got to be at all I can't reach you need everybody that I need six not something I gained arsenic within the fear of when you start to realize that your ways have an impact to your your job or your service can change people's lives you almost feel like you said you you that you want to you want expanded so you've had like such a positive impact on so many people from here tonight looks of back to the TV shows which could be broadcasted anywhere in the world and now it's kind of like okay I've got this power with this kind of responsibility I need everyone to know this and I'm a bit like not to let your story now he's he's teaching me so much value I want to kind of share with as many people as possible so kind of agree with that because I think that's probably a similar answer to what I would say is well but one thing that I like about you that you're not afraid to show your best way as well yeah in the fact that %HESITATION what if somebody takes a %HESITATION will gets better than me I liked what you because it is about I see isn't that the point is that the point I said my best way to somebody's back as a result of me helping them exactly another people thing with that is because when somebody actually asked me the same question so when I ever started like property or fitness I was just give him everything life or limb like two six and they were like yeah you got a hold of him but to selling those that will not really because the reason I do this is so people live longer and live happy yeah yeah I would like but you should hold some of your stuff back and I said listen can copy me and they can take it that's absolutely fine actually I find that as a compliment because the logic is in me well I think of the material so they can always be one step behind me or the time so I'm happy to kind of give my best because every year even after this conversation of late so much more again and this is one of the podcast because I get to connect with people with more experience more life lessons and I almost level up every single time so I have no fear of giving my best work on that particular day because I know tomorrow is another opportunity to grow give more I nothing obviously you demonstrate that you've been doing that which is why you've been so successful print or not you're very welcome you know what you give me so many compliments and US I say a general I think the same of you I think you are very talented yeah your past that I think he's lacks a lot %HESITATION you know your quality of lax as a law I can tell just by speaking to you today that use change so many people's lives you've done exactly what I did %HESITATION %HESITATION yeah your message press which I got hello all I will definitely be recommending you to a lot of my clients someplace I can't reach some clients don't want to I J. men and women yeah so some men sometimes just want to check with someone that I know you too how to you know send the details of possibly not needs trying it out and because it's made me that I will let you know if you on line and I was somebody exactly like me hi so much passion and drive you want the best for these people and you remind me so much of me I'm right now I will go back and see people cage you are amazing and you know I love people don't give you the option to like today I mean you get the option to to come on and share my life story and I eat I'm so grateful for that because everybody gives you an opportunity not you know I mean you got message to share on something that I think will resonate with a lot of people that say this way and I appreciate that and I always think everybody's always supports me my life I'll always be split them guys you know me you are truly amazing to size I mean give me doc ready I think you know what to me I'd like I said the surface tones but came to meet your true inspiring I've come a lot from you today to keep RC dot so what I'm gonna do is now that she'd read that is all going to walk with the fun part of the show and this is a part of the show where I'm gonna ask you stuff that we haven't touched on so it can be very random topics such as coke or Pepsi for example and the reason I say this is just the kind of give the listeners a bit more of a flavor into the kind of person that you are that you off somebody else other than this driven and passionate person trying to trying to change the world you do like stuff like pizza or met on %HESITATION yeah they yeah until six so it's gonna be about sixty to ninety seconds so whenever you're ready I'll get site yes I'm ready okay we're gonna going three to one if you could abolish one thing in the world what would it be I don't know that's not a good one and I come back to the book okay your favorite hobby as for would you rather know how you would die when you would die when why are you secretly good at that nobody knows a lot of things I just I had a lot of talent no I house unless you're one of the I don't know I think I'm really good at telling jokes your biggest role model okay mumble model on the sea my father what would you like to be remembered for as one of the most all these motivational fitness girls in the U. K. in the world in the well if you could relive one day again what they would it be yeah he thought all I had the most famous Asian gill on and cakes as the day you got through so fast but I wish I had the chance to slow down I have so much to say and the show just gonna finish and that was it and I enjoyed that is amazing the ability to fly %HESITATION being visible invisible the number one thing that annoys you people gossiping about people money or fame your proudest moment see my family so proud of me %HESITATION specially come about from Luxembourg the medals into quickly and I'll be like when I walked in the house lights on these resembles a basically how to best your favorite food the food is actually agency which is by the soft cheese what is your biggest addiction I like chocolate your favorite motivational speaker myself if you could sit with one person in the world for now he would it be and finally we're gonna go back to you if you could about each one thing in the world what would it be toxic people I can't read it so that's the end of the F. on fire and and we're almost out yet the end of the show nine so I just want to ask you to form the questions if I may to read that so high so it's a wonderful thing I'm a firm believer that we can do to get to places quicker easier and less heartache but I'm also a fan believe that the JD teaches us so much as well so what when and always know when everything that you know now with all of your experience in one of your life lessons if you could go back to a young never into maybe twenty three years ago for example and whisper something into it yeah what would you say I go back and say to me da that every note box don't cry obviously but as you've got you know to to to haul a whisper and say you know what never give up and you know what become the best you can and the last question is if in a hundred and fifty years tiny signs vows to save us and all that exists is a book and in this book it's about you it's about the life of an everyday it tells us or them amazing wonderful things or the ups and downs of your life firstly what with the title of the book say and secondly what with the summary at the back tell the person picking up to entice them to read it Hey that that's fun to the book would have thought of me that smile I think he's almost social media I didn't say that never give up always smile and become the best you can yeah it just say you need to read this book like about it just an old car inside the box and it was like something like two twenty three years of my life would not be easy I had a good time to have the bad times did you know what what Judy made me who I am today I'm to be calm the best you all you need to you need to experience but you need to read this book on the yeah what say you know what you want to become strong yeah this is not in this ticket out it will make you the most phone he's accent in the world one of the generator yes I love it six I just before we close the show is there any questions that you wish I'd asked you that maybe you want to convey to the audience no I think can you awesome amazing questions questions that I've never been asked before and it made me think for the fist on on on well it was amazing you know I kinda let so much myself today I think everything you do in your life teaches you something one yeah and after this you know after the podcasts told me so much you know and it's made me a stronger the most mighty kind of pass and you know it might my message is getting across to people %HESITATION and you know and I always used thank you you're very welcome thank you as well for your time and just what I want to do now is give the audience a chance obviously connect with you so what's the best place people can reach I I and maybe tell you in that they listen to the up so just follow your Jenny which I'm sure that it is so much from other social media for me is at the moment my Facebook and Instagram post if you think what I'm doing I'm on my Instagram page which is never in doubt I'm just goal hi yeah that's HA Y. E. R. a discourse so all my Instagram and Facebook zero I see I'm on Instagram Facebook Twitter and linkedin as well but my need to use more of my life coach he motivational best place to find these Instagram you'll always see everything continue and I will kill my clients and law I do can and you know while I have no shade just about it is a mess I colleges I don't I don't feel bad for you because I know at the end of it and get the most amazing body so yeah social media %HESITATION he won T. M. and they want to go on social media because I mean the mile on an eight hi Charlie why he are at Hotmail dot co dot UK fantastic well we'll do is get %HESITATION in those a few the actual property links I'll put him in the show notes so anyone listen to this can list you click info and then directly go straight to the pages so make life a lot easier I would once again thank you for telling me show the store today for everyone at home thanks for listening thank you silence thank you and remember this podcast is absolutely free so all we ask in return is for you to share this with a friend and drop us a five star review over on iTunes have an awesome day

"The Hopeless, Homeless Hero" by Dave Heffernan #34

Tagline: "Control the controllables"

Dave Heffernan, has such an inspiring story. From the age of 5 his life has been about indirect selfless service linked so closely to adversity. it has seen him, become used to death at such a young age. It has seen him, cope with grief, death, homelessness and violence. Yet amongst all this, what Dave shows the best is that we all have a choice. He chooses gratitude, positivity and happiness. Dave has a perspective and mindset that I we can all benefit from to truly improve our own mental health and well-being.

Now a pioneer for mental health and wellness, Dave is making a larger impact on the world and it was a privilege to have him on the Find Your Voice Podcast. He is truly sharing his voice. Dave and I also spoke, briefly in this episode but more so prior to it about his health conditions too. He will inevitably (as told by medical professions) become paralysed. Yet even At that moment he found a silver lining and now pushes further to help serve as many people as he possibly can. This show is about people like Dave. This episode is a blueprint for what Find Your Voice is all about.

I urge you all to follow his story below:

Some key discussion points:

1. Making peace with your decisions
2. Finding the positives in adversity
3. How to control the controllables
4. The importance of listening
5. Improving our Mental health

Thanks for listening

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Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Links to Dave:

Website: https://daveheffernan.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/daveheffernanltd/ (page)

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/david.heffernan.969 (personal)

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/daveheffernanspeaker

Pippa transcript:

welcome to an episode of find your voice a movement led by yours truly Aren Deu a guy who was overcome crippling anxiety adversity and difficulty like so many of your life whose main goal now is to help you combat your excuses take control of your life write your own story and most importantly find your voice so now without further ado I welcome the host of the show himself Mr Aren Deu what's going on people thank you for tuning into another episode of find your voice my name is Aren and as always I am the host of the show so I am delighted to have to bring to you today a pioneer for mental health and wellness but more importantly than that a guy who truly cares and that's how would so what Dave although Dave himself actually because I'm self the hopeless home is hero and when I asked him one of the questions that run the show but he's so much more than that you see Dave has had to deal with adversity pretty much his whole life and I'm talking everything such as death grief abuse homelessness and even violence yes one of the things I love about Dave is he's attitude and the way he touches meanings to the events that happened in his life because after all we all go through adversity but we always have a choice you see we have a choice of whether where a victim weather where a Victor and Dave explains choices in relation to always try to be the Victor and always try to see gratitude in that moment he does that incredibly now we only touched on some of these adversities in life and I'm sure you're gonna agree that he's life highs definitely had its fair share of troubles and obstacles but one of the things that I really acknowledged about David are really was grateful that he was able to share not just with me but hopefully with you guys as well was his mind set his mind set is fantastic and whatever hits him he's always finding that silver lining and that is what makes him such a special character I sincerely hope you enjoy this episode I ended you or to follow his journey after this because I have learned so much and even since recording this my whole perception has changed dramatically to order the cards that I have been dealt so without further ado let's get this interview on the way okay brand so I'm extremely excited today to welcome Dave on to the show where we're gonna be hearing about his incredible story but more important even than a focus on choices now the theme of choices will become more apparent as we obviously dive into this episode but I think before we begin I'd like to face the welcome Dave to the show and Dave how you doing today I'm all the plans are you I'm very well thank you very well so if you wouldn't mind Dave could you kindly give us a summary about you story really in terms of what got you through life and where you are today yes certainly well I grew up in a place called out sold which the self Graham I'm just that and it was actually described in a channel four documentary as being one of the roughest council station hold your and my house bordered solve the dogs we all saw the docks which is now sell the keys weather ABC immediate six years I and as a five year old needs to go over there on the owner just watch the ships in the way because it was just a magical place I am a ball parks on the aces the docks closed down and would not thousands upon thousands of them on the plugs and skilled workers and so it became a very rough and crime with in place I am SO at age five I became an altar boy and I'm a local church with the promise girl I was with and I said my very first funeral five years old which is not normal I know only a lot my life a lot of people say that's not normal and and you know what is normal and the day is you know how you base your expenses and which becomes normal GA I sell other age five assimilationist funeral and between the age of five and a S. there go with four hundred funeral soccer game quite used to death and grief a very early age in this site really shades I am a life on several of a poem about life choices I am at but what it did allow me is on the edge of a gain on official grief counselor although she said next to me just bought a house out and I always say yes all the canal provides the walk could do was listen now I support and help hundreds of people have been suicide over the last few years and the biggest thing I could dig and anybody could do to save people's lives I'm not so just help people three mental health issues is the lesson about sequence in my mouth for a reason and so between the age may in nineteen the sent over four thousand funerals so I would consider myself an expert on grieving and death I am moving forward about three death threats seven three broken jaws to over the game itself and I've identified the young forcing you all pressed you your words when and many years ago was now each way okay and so a lot of variance in my life and every single explains I abroad I don't say that was a plus seven was a learning K. that could be taken from it I'm thinking of my experiences from a very young age I was able to and won the strategy is consistent with in my life which is now coming to I am now as a mental health and well being consoles and waking the likes the football association in Manchester I working wrestling condemn isn't just out in the sun life basically why are not fascinated so I see some of the stuff you mentioned there wasn't some of the summary that you gave me when we previously spoken so much the god that you did that because it's given me a bit of an insight into some of the questions actually was preemption to ask you on the show so five years old you've almost become an official grief counselor now you just said it yourself that isn't really considered normal especially as we're kind of in that stage were very my double the car just finding out who we are I want to ask you a little bit but not then so do you feel that has had a negative impact on your life growing up in terms of how you've handled it what do you think that you are better equipped for the investor no I got don't see negativity that's all because I didn't know dot wasn't normal no that was my life and so you just go through life specialists of Jim gauge just accessing this is what it is you know kids of a guard out just putting his respect so just saying all is calm of it you know kids are very resilient and we don't give them the credit they deserve and so by you walking into the church I'm yes I remember the very first time I did it I remember clearly the coffin was higher than me I was calling government and all citizens not and then it was a quite intimidating you know the five year old I am for it was you know is currently building you know when you've got a hundred and twenty one one thirty people all crying four five six years old as you know all I could day was focused on what I was doing about sign site with the job site with the for the priest that whatever is fed in all of them the bread and the wine our weather is sad the holy communion or whatever it may be and may our number must process in my bonus and you know but with a four month on this I just have to be present and focus on what was then in the now and not with what was happening all that in the future you know so backtracked Cassie any negativity it's all about it you know it's how you is how you shape your experiences and how you react to them absolutely absolutely and I think you also to turn a brilliant point is all we talked about listening not fully enough out you just released a very short episode this week about listening but not so much in terms of the mental health perspective which is what you've touched on and the reason I think that is an important point I just wanna raise a gain but you said is because my mom suffered with chronic depression she still does for the the best part of eight years so up until eight years ago meant to have to be wasn't really it wasn't important from completely honest it wasn't part of my life was a Pontiac on these life as obviously I've started to live with someone are you my best friend who's not going through this stuff obviously became more aware and the more I speak to people with mental health heads above the premise behind the show as well the more I realize is that you've hit the nail on the head that listening is so important sometimes they don't want you to you instantly trying to fix that problem will solve it sometimes it just wanna sound board just for you to hear a man that you want is to actually feel like they might and their opinions matter something must be for that you said that and just in your line of work as well I can imagine how important it is for you to observe doing that as well as Muslim parts and the thing is what people going through depression is very real you know you get a lot of motivation speaking you gotta live people or therapist how often the pace you know I don't want to come here as a ball of therapists pedal faith you know and they give you a little bit to the field it faster I have talked about the private side of things rather than so then I just sighed and we'll give you a little bit to make you feel that that's about let me still list what if what if what if and then also bring these people living in or can't get out as at least to be with this life is a lot more and why there is my top line is my job is to be out of a job you know if I got somebody six months five on three months down the line on the still suffering and I'm doing something clearly wrong you know I'm not giving them the best and the support I could possibly give them I saw by listening you know is one of three things in all three things are prevalent within and depression anxiety not a fait regret off again this line based on my experience lost right by that is you know I see this on a daily basis I thought of it I'm sizes bit based fed weapon what if you know why because long do you know where to go out and everybody lost whatever may be I saw by listening to these people and allowing them to get let go of the package I'm not sure judging them it's got to be without judgment absolutely and by allowing them to be how the space is a space you can find out where the language in the town is fed riven all regret that right now is to begin this issue that sells all somebody sauces motion of physically I think that's how I get to the root cause quickly by listening I had a language had its own I listen to the words of using I don't sideways favorite graphic given this within dive straight into it cost on passing this really really useful to know I think obviously for people listening as well nine one the point desperate so just also is on a one to ask a question I'm not sure if it's actually relate to the profession that you're doing now you mentioned that you had death threats broken Joe was is that because of the line of work you do know is is this going back to your previous chartered when you came up in a rough area and a half and half really and trouble follows me I don't know why okay so far I think what it is I I just Constand justice and I'm not one of these and that can walk away from situations where somebody is being done by and I saw one example was I was working in our reach and projects in the red light district in Manchester I was working one young girl for seeing kilo he was sometimes harrowing shoes in a real estate eyes came as no one wants to Dave I need to die now our support people who want to die I've only ever had one who needed to die and so we what would have about three months trying to get the whole parking arise Irish gay buys me about three most lasers at Dave I wanna make a meal I want to go back in childcare so we arranged to meet the next day to Gary begins this should be for mobile phones and it's that so we can just pick up the phone is a lot of orders get out of it I saw we arranged a meeting the next day she panicked and told him what your plans a date I'm robin like Dolly downs in petrol and then all life so I get I get the calls going I've been spotted shingles body has just job remains is mostly when the size of a safe I am and so I went straight in saying the red light districts can for this pain now this guy was a six foot four black you making out he was huge and I will I will I look back it five or six outside one day you know looking a little bit in this and I and you know one of the day one of best advice I can give anyone is don't make decisions when you're stressed I was extremely stressed out point anyway instead right out me and he left me for that he got me a job and is that a lot of services you back to my steak and I will tell you now I want a job very depressed chin off the lot I tried to kill myself it was half onto the vans while back at it I am a ball I had so much guilt and shame because all I kept on thinking about was why if I were to go out one night she pushed open a life but when I was back in the also by days and does not yield I actually asked the priest I am when I was eight years old and how to live a life no regret it all gets on him with these people saying I wish I want to spend more time with that as an hours were spent more time with him Hey all which is about the argument and the presets miss its image to make peace with the decisions they still alive no regrets I made these re dozens immediately but I'm Bob if you were done it with a sound mind but it and even if it wasn't a sound mind occasion extremely stressed on groups high on whatever then you wasn't a place on mind in order to be able to regret if that makes sense because on happened I sell for about three months I was in depression pockets and trying to find the positive captain John's final engagement and it was so difficult but then I realized control controls about time we could not logistically got Hallam I'd like to spend one night it was impossible I was amazed at how quickly the relief comes upon you when you start seeing the pasta sauce in the landing gear and what you could control them we can't control I'm gonna start thinking about and you know what she was going through at the last moment in their life I don to me nobody CAD hi there was only fifty he watched as shown any signs of carrots in their life I'm not gave me a sense of empowerment when I thought you know what I'm doing good you know what and she was dying at least she would have really realize that there's always one person cannot support life on the line to help I'm not coming through you know I don't give myself and feeling the guilt and shame also for giving the painful why did the big gap ball just to disassociate out pay not he wants to make the case as a result of his actions and tried to kill myself or went to depression I and you know nobody should have that power I had given him I'm not so mad good three for moms of run allies and we never single day until it felt natural I am ultimately you know the pain was taken away once I gave some regret fanfic given this in the three if you can get and that along your life will be so content and stress free I can show you Dave that's up to the amazing give you resonated with me there on so many points I mean I've got a numerous amount of things I want to talk about I think first as we say it's very odd mobile in terms of what you did you know you did everything that you could to try to try and help that poor Gail so I'm very very glad that you managed to forgive yourself afterwards I'm just on the forgiveness side in terms of what the pimp did and you said you forgave someone the reason that resonates with me is because I was a soldier left for that as well and it was it was a crossroads in my life and I probably didn't go to the same extent of depression obviously my circumstance was slightly different but one of the things I would say is that when I forgave that pace and and I disassociated that paid more my life became so much better I I was able to find beauty in stuff again I met my wife I I'm things despite changing for me massively and forgiveness I don't know if this is a male thing I don't know if it's just because I'm a stubborn passing growing up and it's just my character it was difficult there was there was ego attached to it doesn't wash off to give somebody else and is what you just said they had power over me and the moment I kind of I actually it roll it out myself and finally to fight you sent on Facebook because I knew the person was and I wrote a message saying I must be forgiving you for me not not yourself because I I'm not even sure if that person remembers it first always to if that yeah if the categories below that I need to do this for me and when I did that according spend it was almost like instant dot I had this relief over me so I I think this view from I'm so glad that you've done that but it just shows I mean you she said trouble follows you initially I was thinking what is Dave up to on his case but I to be what you are trying to do is that you just try and save and I get you I get that feeling of injustice when you fill that especially I think when somebody else who's the more helpless than yourself is in this situation getting taken advantage of I think another thing I just want listens to really take home from it other than the three important things that day stresses control the controllable was yeah and if I may do a quick segue then I want to speak about the stuff that you told me prior to coming on the show which is obviously what we haven't touched on but I think a game is definitely going to add some value to Alice this so if it's alright with you Dave just in terms of some of the health complications because there was a pivotal point when you made a choice and it's not choice I really want to kind of delve into and what this this to kind of take a lesson from the from me yes so other what we're talking about here is the C. functions and other health I am so years ago a spy game breathless and make up the point where I can even by the bike down hill without being out of breath I'm and I went to see the doctor is in the got the same cost my no you haven't yes how many got a boy I never actually got back Klaas about so we lose not strange and we've got that class of dogs and the doctor actually can there are protests do we really know allow us man we did the COPD test which I'm never smoking a lives on it wasn't anything that never would rust vessels and I lock for what he did get a build out awesome and so they said yeah you got something going on we along so well since it along to someone someone someone console and said yeah you got out of time as far as you sent by one costly and now it sucks out the eight percent by one class A. IRA got paralyzed die from well they don't believe the standalone so sexual and mountain religious then and the knowledge that all the tests tomorrow said yeah you've got Iran Iraq from all your own disease Sargon from last night yes it's a box the moms come must match the Harmonia owns these anyway so I was on day six times a day and plus Martina was I was like a zombie it was horrendous I was moments in every day and most ineffective headaches we've got such a you know I can do the basic things like going to flow in the children play jigsaws I think also point why apple only hearing of the moment is no no no when the bodies are asking the simple basic docked things play football or may do this do not I have all the people of Bob let's say no you know and so a long time sampling insight and how the topless Raquel Altamira Hache bottom side effects now through my experiences well you know what I'm I'm quite blocking why I'm very good at taking the emotion now situations now looking at the fox and I thought you know what black and white I would rather be in pain and broke free and be in pain I have a lot of books in the system out and side effects so I said to my wife is a rock coming up on the topless and I came up from overnight I she she was there in the old up room he gonna die you gonna die yeah I said you know what the only person in control of may is may you know I don't mean about why are negative ways for I've got to make the right decision to make my body I when you look at how the body works anyway isn't is a genius to recall we just abuse it you know I know you know there is hope that we can fix so many things and we just feel it right and actually you know do the meditation do the yoga do whatever needs to take as a fuel line so how about ten days of shit hell it was horrible balls in a spot left in the fog closing was coming I could stop walking about federal occurs logging on the floor playing the kids I'm once you get a little bit of hope was amazing no big the light is you know you start seeing the future again stop seeing what's happening a soul as I get a bit more of a better quality of life and they're all just because of the free I was honestly and all about eight weeks ago I am my back is been called me a lot of pain and so I went for an MRI and engine I'm all right and they said the August of a spinal canal stenosis which also means I will to power lines at some point now I've just put me back I watched in those couple days I'm not able to walk properly it's been a nightmare I am I saw once okay so and in the seventh year private canceling because the NHS about eighteen weeks and then he somehow manages and I said look awake in mental health did you know cost I just called to say that is I don't want all through her bedside manner when is his worst of anywhere and you may as well talking to dignitas because at least you got nice holiday Swithland I am and for those who don't know what the process is is the place where people go to end the life legally in Switzerland and why is basically saying is because of my lungs and the way the violin capacity is one on your own everything else he said there was a hundred percent chance of death on the operating table so the choice I was now faced with was desktop Rosi's which you know not many people help us all Giles in the life is usually showing up at economic I'm as I'm with Josh and I have a I and my overall overwhelming and emotional about signing wasn't one of mine and stress it was actually graduate and banks eyelash ISIS shook him by the hand of the Jenny when I thank you from the bottom half of the way you've explained it to me and it looks a bit shocking if you use them well if you were to said there was a sixty percent chance of dying on the table but not may well have been going through my mind constantly which were struck by the time away from my kids my stretches time with my kids I wouldn't think about it my way is it worth the risk where is now you said you got homes and John the dying it's taking not this is not my hands now provoke someone I want to focus on which is a plus the things in my life I can still have a relationship when the boys in a wheelchair account of him that you know so that's all I think again there's always something to be grateful fall it's just we don't want to look for it very sorry to hear you consistent house from was there but I just think it's B. for how you or somebody who's been faced with those adverse to all this trouble and stuff and you still see the gratitude side of it and this was at you while I want to speak about the star of the show but you got to answer the question and I think it lies in the hundred percent that the console came back with so when they said you had a hundred percent they took that decision out of your hands and obviously you were left with one choice but even so then I still think you made an incredible choice that I think the list is content value from is that it's very easy to sit and feel sorry for yourself I think why me I don't deserve this the world's after me I'm always trying to be a good person I'm always trying to do good stuff was a calmer this broad just think is be for that the first thing that came in your mind was okay cry shoot what kind of take from this wall the positives from this and this is kind of all want the show to be about we're going to be hit with life you know from different time people had bought cards out to assess and time some ways to know this but it's about one supposed to that we can just draw from this what moment off hoping you system debut for a year on his bike and hope back in that little girl is always let's get the whole back in our eyes as well as individuals this is a question you know you say why many people it's not a question that you can I sell why not me yeah you know what makes me so special why I should get the address Yala stress all whatever you know the end of the day I truly believe we we only given what we can handle via email and I'm very I'm using this as a way of spreading the message out like you know what no my how things get yeah there's a quote by Jim Rohn one moments also I think he's just a genius I am I am one of those quotes and all I'm paraphrasing a little bit below a side and after every recession this growth of the darkest hour blow is symbolized you can't get the glory can't get the really good stuff yeah without going through the doctor's is it possible that we all are stressed now live we can't do anything about but what we can do is how we react to it what we can change our reacts like and I don't see that is not one single person I can give me and an experience our situation where I will not be able to find a possible landing gear from every single aggressively both very expensive often will have a positive on a landing path absolutely I think that's a brilliant analogy in general is obviously one of my mentors as well as you were saying that was almost thinking very quickly let the adversity that I've been through enough though about how much wiser and how much more resilient how much stronger I I'm as a pace and as a result of it and although we in that particular moment you're you're going to wish this never happened but I'm so grateful that my whole perception myself awareness and everything that I've become over the last three or four years I don't think would have ever got that just by reading books or watching you two videos sold out in a way I'm grateful for I suppose in and maybe that's those are the words not because I've heard you say that but I am I know you always say you know why not me but it's very inspiring to his someone like yourself you not your messages to others who share your story out and hopefully change people's perception and the way that they see the road is on because if you can see from the way you see intent of this is look at the beauty from this let's just take a lesson from it them I think will be a much much better place definitely for the six okay now obviously your life and Dave is obviously a lot different to you say ten fifteen years ago of C. with health complications this stuff is all and I you got two young boys as well what's today's life than for you like a typical day several days I'll wake up in a guarantee that me eight year old eighties and Solomon but all laid on the bed next was involved the wife and the son and of the self control and it is extremely caring loving my twelve year old he's got this box here and and is on the autistic spectrum and got some eleven to go is and is now is say Thailand good lately well day now when nobody is looking and but yeah he's just bombed by use of that the first thing people say I am a which gives me the Spanish right away to get open stop doing and is it you know I would be racism drop into the question you know we're only a fine line between depression not the question and and so seen those in the morning and it gives me a strand stretch the Waco best thing to do is I'll just lie in bed and I'll list off in my mind and that will mean changes after the day and also walk I'm grateful fall before he went off and I am a great fan of visualizing and and just understanding now let me out of control of how our day and happens and then I'll go downstairs of breakfast and usually the Bosnian skill and I always say the fast off hours right now it's just meditate and you know I can meditate with boss people talking to me I can just jump into it now and and then I'm ready for the day a lot of the day and the the first question I always ask guaranteed when I stopped into wet mold is you can help that's the first question I always ask yourself why he can help it's not about money is not about fighting you know a lot of my life has been bouncing around in the background now I mean I'm not now I'll set this business of in the last year or so Abbas available in the form of in the background and you know the signs when why who don't realize this I am at all I then think about well actually doing this all thing I'm going to speak in say a hundred people off thousand people which you know even if it's only five percent of the people want to take on board what site basta lot change now so yeah the border and the solving the bass and I I don't have I don't go through life with a plan now and I'm not I'm not a big plus I just say I just take off to anywhere Jim this is I am a tree everybody's equal and respectful I and thank you know good things are tracking go things to me so what is your intentions and what version you know forget about how you get that they also self out devil of that message I think cam is something all I preach quite a bit as well in terms of intent is all and I just absolutely love your intense for the day are you cannot how and I can see that this genuine it's authentic obviously from hearing your box story in terms of see the work that you've done even now it's it's it's a selfish thing it's not like a promotional thing in terms of Hey look at me it's kind of let you guys let me help you move forward in life is on a really really do like that and I think we are in a society in I'm not here to kind of go off on a rant and stuff but there are people he manipulate people quite on social media in terms of trying to even make a ball I said things always almost like tell themselves and if you really grinds my gears it January does because I think I obviously come from a similar situation to yourself a lot of the the work I've done I've always tried to be selfless because I'm Linda from a mobile homes foster care she's adopted kids she was a nice a whole life why then gave a very lucrative job to become a social worker trying to change the world as a sort of a cat realize you quickly I could do that I have brothers and sisters at you from the foster care system you have got waters and special needs so a lot of my life has always been about savings and even this podcast itself is truly is a passion project my sole purpose when I do this episode is kinda just Spock one paces mine today and I've always done the and from the moment I released it irrespective of mild is always in the way of my accent was will be starring Anna being or the long I was I hopefully I can give someone dot of maybe inspiration that if I can do they can do more employees gay people it yourself on to the show to really change their perspective and make them realize actually we need to come by our excuses we need to face off is because that's where that's for the beauty lies in life and I'm sure they respect them for the bad things are going on in your life I'm sure even a much better place especially between your is that in your mind right not having suffered everything that you saw fit and the reason I asked about the routine is always because I'm a firm believer that we all results of the hobbits not before when a daily basis so it's nice to see you obviously how liberating gratitude you've got your kids stay the ship instant inspiration not sure why that gets you out of bed on in the meditation a game that is something that I really need to work on so the fact that you can just going to meditation at any stage I'm assuming it's because you've been practicing it for a long time yeah yeah stop it absolutely absolutely so think of just one particular instance date just for the the laces of when you paid for investigate it could be something that you already mentioned or it could be something completely different but what I want you to do is actually give us one thing that maybe somebody who has a similar predicament or similar scenario where they can say actually I can relate to that yes whatever experience and we go through and a lot of my experience is a lot of people comes afterwards all my life for the past year or so yeah for me for a long way because I don't really think is exciting and ball I think one of the things that have the biggest impact on me and people will so I relate to this war the been threw themselves on the scene on the news is when I was homeless and is a huge story at the moment being homeless and then I was sixteen on time when I was done on the house and my first night we spend ninety nine to this wall so what does he once he is running with all those years ago and I and my first night was spent in a very small great been shot full of cobwebs side there is but one dollar range run this on the clock and I was thrown out by and the reason why I was blown out is because I am I wanted to be a volunteer I wanted to sell the chalk at club and also went broke I am done once been a gallon he wants to escape self and the club address and I don't want to stay in self in the bay of address and as always was a log heads and we didn't see eye to eye in just three now the house so for two years more showers living above Rubino squats in cemeteries Simon pop and she is but during this time and I was all the dog inside the thought you know what why the plane going bottom down south saying sorry out in a gallon when it's a yes the knocking about shock at about one assault you know and one thing I always advocate is delayed I just yourself no no my you comes out of your life goes out you live as usual a lot a selling point as well as a lot of depression happens a lot mental health issues because you're not living it yourself you live in the store with other people and making out I am and so I was quite adamant that I wanted to get a shock at club morning because we have no internet no phones I got Dave that'll get signposted surveys jocks all counseling while yeah I just went to my plan I saw knocking on doors asking for money for the shock at club I and I one point I was in the same clothes I've been in about three months I was seriously on the white and I was still going on the doors and the receipt about two and a half thousand knows a lot of rejection because why would anybody gave a sixteen year old money is quickly close you know some money for his jock at gold is for drugs clearly now that's what I was thinking and so I met this guy yeah the council and said you know I want it's going to I watch yes games and now I really want to get a shock at global warming I and he helped me with that a business plan to go back to these offices to show them the business plan and see where and get the money I wouldn't twenty five knocks about twenty five yes isn't enough money to get a job at a club morning which is incredible join up out of the nose you know and then there's a great picture that we see on the internet somebody dig in this year's splice so my Dick in was a minute walking away another friend is apart goals I am is I always believe is out the darkest hour his generals and out the darkest hour anything you know what about people just get a bit more he's not this way the excitement is about when is when you want to give all I'm just a you know watch Lamar knocks one more email one more call us when a locked in when you are the lowest because just testing you see what you really want to and all I so I got this job that global warming and the plastic he's always the council and they run into the ground with a mostly closed now I can enjoy the controls I was emotionally spent on this point I was drained it was gone and I was in hospital as well on its own and was known under white magician why you want to call it I am at bottle everything all my energy into getting the shock a clock now what I learned from not a is you know see three to the very end now if you've got someone of your passion about see three other very and and if you don't as much as you can and you can no more just make peace it is not gonna really made in semi better you know I mean Paul I recognized by gone as far as the court I can't control the people's behavior you know and that behavior was I want money from their offices to regenerate itself but to put money into the council offices not to sell jog or clubs no I did exactly what I need to do I just I made I am my dream trade I am but what Bob was allowed me now is is give me an experience I can fall back on so every time I'm doing a project I make choices available when I pass all over I do my due diligence to make sure all bought you know about products developed developer Larry and get a scapegoat develops at some point may soon now I'm just making sure everything is in place so when I walk away it's gonna be that in five years time you know but without like Spain's we're doing the same mistake again and again and again and again you know Paul I didn't have and two years was a I was on the street on the sale of the book of data squawks other than almost hospitals you know I'm a mess Billy a silent people you know I'm I like the net almost as Lois offered I'm not block mage was the next number by the federal daily I and I was looking down on them and think you know your skull I'm my first thought was you know what this is my classmates call calmly these are my people I'm in this position so that ball is only fat I get to know them I respect I understand how the docks where they are as I used to ask questions to them and say you know I've just said that listens to them and some of the address alike the difference being as I could cope doctors say how could solve the problem analyze it naturally leave me through it which is why they got was not situation of armed robbery and anyway long story Shaw I've got a job and may never in a telemarketer place and I hated it with a passion also two days that made one single sale because I didn't make I am a single phone call I hated it I and I got socks and I went back in and there's a lot going on Monday when the wages on as a way not game thank you note delays and stock prices big argument honest I'm gonna see this place called a small man and when say it's for the money which is locked out a few weeks later I got knocked on the door and it was solved is the ID on I was arrested crossing the plate I slash identically smoke so I was placing seven and a half years in prison and I don't have a clue how or why this is happened by the demo tape the doctor I'll let you know I know I live by and miss all the pretty much depend on me foremost lasers answering bail and the Saudi offices that don't even play you can go as a volunteer but more than not and several somebody's actually own up to it so much contrast it turned out the the drug dealer there was a living wage I had not been arrested and Josh with it down into the police station on is what's where I can access only substrate going down they did date I think you're fast seven years now the reason why I say that story is because you've got some accounts so he with that to safeguard the children's future on that strangely round one interested yeah you get the proceeds come on the air the armed robbers look dealer because I treated them respects because I listen to them because I don't to start well they had a story when they need it save the actual the looked a lot when in and confessed and got some yes free on my behalf you know so lost just shows and from that point on I talk a lot in the connection speak in a subtle about pre judging in business just treat everybody respects organised on the everybody's got a story your son is being that it's just yet the golf story the gonna solve issue that we not been able to watch the results themselves problem some slack give them respect say I'm here for you if you want to talk about it if not just walk away by Alicia tried don't reactionary supports about negative it's a treat everybody with respect equally and it will come back to have holes in the future a currency that's yes this is a Dave I understand entirely now what people are saying that life is so boring compared to yours because it's such an incredible story I just them I get a bit emotional when I just see let people do really good things for people like do this office act so that act there from the seat scum of the earth is just absolutely it's it's a beautiful lesson it's a lesson for us all to obviously take on board and again you've you said the right words that we need to call people slack when somebody maybe approaches in the wrong way or that might be having a bad day but if you could just or treat each other with kindness and respect I think the will just be in such a bad place but there's another brit lesson to gain that you touched on it I want people to take home is persistence two thousand five hundred knows now there's a lot of us including myself don't even wanna get rejected once and I think we have to get used to you know where is my perceptions change or not not for example I am in property so the amount of rejection from stages is incredible and I will say not every time again no it's okay but now one step closer to that yes again it's just it's just a note saying I say to myself and not kind of destroys me on to go forward so I think not gain is an incredible less and and on that note we aren't you going to go into a part of the show which is a very random policial I'm not sure you'll even aware of this but what I do that is just for about sixty to ninety seconds just a bit of lighthearted fun just to kind of give the listeners I love it more about you just a bit more of a flavor because obviously sometimes the stories can be quite dog so this is just gonna be a bit of lighthearted fun so are you ready I'm ready okay fantastic so we're gonna stop in three two one if you could abolish one thing in the world what would it be hate crime Muncie on Monday night many night good choice your favorite hobby read it your biggest role model my sons what would you like to be remembered for the cat your biggest goal this year S. speaking in New York your worst mistake not me the wife early enough if you could relive one day again which they would it be well I didn't die the ability to fly or be invisible invisible the number one thing that annoys you not by males money or fame now that you're proudest moment John cat global movement your favorite food that isn't ships what song best describes your life Elvis Presley walk a mile in my shoes if you had an extra hour day how would you spend it on the bodies Netflix the jeep Eugene your number one piece of advice to your children yes self our favorite motivational speaker calyces I'm finally if you could sit with one person in the world for an hour he would it be but one that mom side love that make so how did you find out hot hot again the beautiful thing with this is obviously people can take as long as I want really to answer the questions and all the sudden caught the dead space so it makes you actually look like a must the mind intense anger I answered straight away okay we're almost at the end is shown I Dave so I'm a fan believe the hindsight is a wonderful thing and upon reflection we can always think of ways to get to where we are quick cash easy at Willis heartache but I'm sure you'll agree that obviously the Janie teach to so much as well so knowing exactly what you know now if you could take yourself back to younger Dave and whispers something in that person's yeah what would you say I would go but it's the first night being homeless find out west in the they all went south they all went sour is yeah everything's very reason evidence rallies on alphaworks out just a sense of hope yeah it's just people get you know I don't know people get bogged down in how how how to get to a place house the this you know if we just relaxed and just trusted Argo and did what we felt was right mmhm then it will never send you in a long path yeah hi my name is and your address pop and you know not very nice pa every single one when I look back and I do mean all of me speaking now I want to die was a look back every single aspect of my life and it's been like therapy I and I look back a sliding doors moment some water you know what I'm I'm not change anything I think you stories incredible not enough I think we've all got a story to be honest yeah we can order back in the console cut the moments is sometimes it is just about actually acknowledging it and not does suddenly bring us on a key to the last question and the last question I always ask one of my guess is about legacy so if in a hundred fifty years time science house to save us and all that exists is a book and this book is about you Dave and it's not all the way in a wonderful incredible things that you've done in life you know the life that you've touched firstly what with the title of the book B. and secondly what with the summer at the back tell us about your side of the ball I don't know and hopeless almost zero I love that yeah Linda and the Blair probably say something light it had an impact some more lives than actually name and it was okay without involved yeah yeah I think that's brilliant I'm Dave just before we close the show will give the list as a chance love to connect with you via social media channels is there anything that you wish I had asked you today no no it this court is court yes towards pretty much everything okay fantastic well if there is obviously anything people come to connect with you I would definitely order my list is to connect with Dave after the show Dave where is the best place people can reach out and send you a DM life playground Islington and which is Dave happens speaker you can get me on Facebook as well David half men and bought my Facebook page is not talked about moment except Paul manages an online okay fantastic I what we'll do is always to get day anti links and open the show or not so just to make it easier for everyone they let you have to click it I want to thank Dave for sherry he story seventies vulnerabilities and shown his wisdom fun today show and also wanna thank everyone at home thanks for listening thank you and remember this podcast is absolutely free so all we ask in return is for you to share this with a friend and drop us a five star review over on iTunes have an awesome day

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How to be liked more by listening better #33 by Aren Deu

Tagline: "If you want to be considered interesting, become interested!"

So listening is a skill that many of us probably believe we already have. I mean after all, for the fortunate number of us who have our hearing we have used our ears all of our life. From hearing people talk to us, to dancing around to our favourite songs our ears have brought us a lot of joy. In fact, music alone is something that instantly can change my mood, and as I write this summary I have thought of point number 6.

Now points 1-5 are in the actual episode, but number 6 which has randomly cropped up between my ears is this: Think about how you listen to your favourite songs. Think about how much attention you give to the lyrics, words and cadence of the song. It's usually not too long before you actually know the words off by heart and end up doing your own covers, right? Now imagine if you could give that much attention when listening to other people. Do you truly do that? Or do you switch of mid conversation? Do you try to interrupt them half-way through? I mean, I've yet to listen to a song and interject my artists by saying "i just don't agree with that line".

Now in case this sounds like an extremely random example, I assure you it will make more sense when you listen to the very short episode giving 5 tips on how to become a better listener. To truly become a great listener, we have to see it as a skill that takes effort and practice. It is very similar to speaking. Yes we can speak and shout and sing, but how good are we truly?

Key talking points in this episode:

1. Things not to do when someone is talking
2. How you should react when someone is talking
3. Why you should do the above, to build better more meaningful relationships
4. When to solve problems and when to just be a soundboard for the person.

I sincerely hope this episode provides you genuine value. It is a simple skill, we so often overlook. We are a result of our habits, and if some of you out there find it difficult for people to engage with you, trust you, or even talk more openly to you. Then you may need to assess how you listen. Take a real long look at yourself. Self assessment is key to growth and on this journey we all want to become better and reach our potential. We all want to find our voice and write our own story, but we all want to be heard too. So let's work on our listening and level up.

P.s. Remember this episode applies to all walks of life. So try it at work, with your friends, family or even in public when a stranger crosses your path.

Thanks for listening

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Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com

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"Never alone" by Kathy Courtney #32

Tagline: "We all more powerful and stronger than we believe and capable of healing from so much more than we think"

Sexual abuse, failed businesses, seeing ghosts and so much more has been a part of this amazing women's life. Yet above all these words all I found and saw was true strength. I see a lady who has overcome so much, but shows us all that we are so much, that we are all so strong and capable.

We often get into comparisons in life about who struggles the most, but when you hear someone who has been a victim of childhood sexual abuse, only to then still not have an easy ride throughout life but remain radiant, positive and wish a mission to serve others, you can only sit back and smile in admiration.

I am so grateful for Kathy sharing her story, showing her vulnerabilities, showcasing her courage and also letting us into her world. Intuitive energy healing is now something she helps so many other people with, as it was the key driver behind helping her overcome her childhood memories. A lady who is on the journey to finding her voice and gaining confidence in spreading her message and one I feel will definitely leave her mark in such a great way.

Some key discussion points:

1. Sexual abuse is not your fault
2. Understanding supernatural gifts
3. Overcoming business failure
4. Realising your true purpose and passion
5. Understanding how strong we truly are

Thanks for listening

Free Audible book sign up:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21

Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Links to Kathy:

Instagram: https://instagram.com/kathycourtney7?igshid=1l85l6voewk99

Website: https://www.kathycourtney.net

Pippa transcript:

welcome to an episode of find your voice a movement led by yours truly Aren Deu a guy who was overcome crippling anxiety adversity and difficulty like so many of you in life whose main goal now is to help you combat your excuses take control of your life write your own story and most importantly find your voice so now without further ado I welcome the host of the show himself Mr Aren Deu what's going on people thank you for tuning into another episode a fine your voice my name is Aren and as always I am the host of the show so I'm delighted to have to bring to you today Kathy and Kathy story is one that told me so much in such a short space of time in fact I wish I met her a yeah because what Kathy told me and I'm sure as you listen to this episode it's going to teach you to is that we have so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for I mean how many times have you been to something I think it is going to break you to find that said she made you or if it has a major in that circumstance is definitely made you more resilient more stronger so it's kind of what I want you guys to walk away after this episode is to try and maybe step outside your comfort zone and embrace that fear and take on that little bit of pain maybe for some future gain because I promise you when you head Kathy you see that she's such a more beautiful place right now I have suffered all this incredible amount of adversity from the sexual abuse to losing business is so much more you're going to realize that the human will it's strong it's so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for so I am delighted to have hi there on the show I am extremely grateful that she opened up with have under bill ease and she opened up with this story which is something that I think of the city's more exposure in the road it's something that I wish one day be quit completely see the end of but sadly if we don't what I do want people to do is know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel so without further ado people thank you once again for treating it and I hope you enjoy this episode let's get over to it I want to welcome to the show Cathy thank you for taking time out of your day to come on and share your story how you doing today I'm doing amazing thank you for having exciting I'm happy to be here bless you thank ya I'm extremely happy to have you on the show as well so I was always just a leading to a yeah there's so many elements of your story that that I could relate to but there were also some stuff in terms of the emotional trauma that you experience as a child there's a lot of grief there there's a lot of stuff that we just spoke about very briefly prior to star in this episode that you realized five my life wasn't as normal as you have so it wasn't yeah so I think it be a great place if record if you could stop by maybe give the listeners a little bit more about yourself if you could kind of open up and tell us as much as you feel comfortable with your story okay yeah perfect and so I am the oldest of four children and that those parents were in the home and my dad worked to my mom was a stay at home mom and an eight a one to start with my dad because I see the ad and learned a lot from him my dad %HESITATION contracted polio when he was a very young baby so he was handicap his entire lice on it so I really felt that my first lessons in %HESITATION being compassionate and really being resilient and strong came from hen and watch seen how he dealt with %HESITATION adversity and his life because %HESITATION you know having a parent that wasn't able to walk slowly and eventually in a wheelchair and you know he made sure that we did all the normal things that kids do you you know took us to the beach sand tickets to you you know I'm use net parks and now being a parent myself and those things are hard just for you know up at appearance but but it but now realizing %HESITATION with the disability that he had you know why %HESITATION those things are so difficult and he never complains on he never held back from anything so really I think those were the first lessons that I learned where from him %HESITATION and then there there are two parts to my childhood that really led me ops you kind of the work that I do now which is the reiki healing and also %HESITATION I am a medium so I do you know mediumship readings and I my first memories %HESITATION being a child's where that as being sexually molested at a very early age by my paternal grandfather %HESITATION and dotted use lasted for an extended period of time %HESITATION between six and seven years and %HESITATION also during that time I was starting to experience %HESITATION what what most people would when baby label as supernatural sort of experiences and and by that I mean I would see shadows which now I understand and spirits %HESITATION I would see shadows as animals and people and and the way my mom kinda described it sees that there was always something trying to get my attention so I would be let's have a deep cleaning my room and you know little things that happened things would come off the wall where I would feel a presence in my room and and then there were lots of things that I knew that there was no way of me possibly knowing friend stands I would say %HESITATION the phone was ringing and so once I was calling and my mom would say well the phone's not even ringing and then a minute or two later the phone would ring with the exact same person that that I would say would call and I also had %HESITATION an out of body experience when I was about six I think I was six or seven years old and I might grandparents lives sort of in a in a open kind of country field and they had thrown some sort of poison out for that for the rodents I think and %HESITATION being a little kid just kind of curious %HESITATION I happen to eat the apple is and so fast you know started bleeding internally and you know rest the hospital all that kind of thing and I clearly remember leaving my body and you know I could see the nurses and doctors and all this work being done on my body and so those were memories that I had that I never I didn't understand what was happening at the time and I think a lot of it I did explain to my mom and you know she has seen what kind it is say well let's pray about it or if you would say let's got insert search %HESITATION something like that and then those experiences to students start happening and so she had to move a couple of times because you know she thought well maybe the house was Hines said order and and those those type of things on and so you know that happened throughout my my tile tied on and then when I was about twelve or thirteen my grandmother passed away and %HESITATION I remember she came out of sort of a bathroom stall and you know there there's a mere right in front of me and she appears to me in that mere %HESITATION so those are all things that where we're really %HESITATION you know I wasn't scared of those things you know you're not scared until someone tells you that you need to be scared and exits are wasted it was just a normal thing for me and I thought well does this happen everywhere I just really had no idea yeah at that time %HESITATION and so you know so being you know sexually molested interviews at the time and and that's going on you know it was definitely not what you would say your normal tight why yeah I think I'm gonna have to agree with you that because we were speaking I was trying to say obviously the premise of this show is to let people know that not always alone in in their adversity that they're suffering be you've definitely touched on some stuff that it's almost like a combination of extremes are suppose I've got so many questions I mean is if I may so firstly I just wanna say your dad sounds absolutely incredible and I think he's amazing the fact that I think especially that generation as well with the just the just get on with stuff and and I really love that and I think you almost had like a fish row seat at seeing how to deal with adversity and how to displace life's challenges which probably makes you so strong and empower you know when I can hear yourself now you're in such a great place where is it so easy to probably be in a completely different place haven't been through what you've been through so %HESITATION I think props to yourself and obviously to your father for that then obviously we move on to the more I suppose sensitive subject my way you were sexually molested and yes I'd be doing a disservice as opposed to the lessons and also to myself and if a game please if if this is making you feel comfortable you haven't you don't have to run so but I just want to ask how that affected you when did it stop affecting you in your life or is it still something that you deal with today and it's definitely not something that I deal with today and it's something that it took me a long time to work through and that eight but I have found a place of peace with its %HESITATION you know tearing does a year is I I I guess because of the other situations that were going on in my life I became very good at disassociating myself with the abuse and my emotion around it on and it wasn't until later so I was you know %HESITATION eleven or twelve years old when you know most kids are going through those changes where you know you're you're not a child that you're awesome not a teenager and and so you know I definitely went through a lot of it and just completely hating myself you know south heat and the prior question and stealing %HESITATION so isolated in those feelings and I'm just a lot of different emotions you know but mostly it was the south heat I completely hated myself now I didn't like the way I looked and I didn't like the way I felt and I didn't like my late tonight I didn't like anything about me and so that you know that I can say that that's how it affected me and then and around I think it was around eleven when I was really going to the changes %HESITATION might I started experiencing like a real physical keen in my body it was intense pain I'm I literally like I would say I stopped walking because my body was in so much pain and my mom you know my mom took me to the doctors they couldn't find anything really medically wrong with my body I'm and now looking back I knew and because of the work I do now I know I know that it is that it was that energy of that trauma that was stuck in my body and the energy of not being heard and not being able to speak up for myself that I was experiencing a real physical pain %HESITATION and it ended up that the doc they thought maybe it was index and they thought it was something you know with you know my female I guess organs and I I had a surgery had surgery because they did not know what to do with me they didn't know what is wrong with me on and so now looking back I think that's totally crazy that you know it went that far but at the time and I don't think that I was able to verbalize you know what happens to the extent that it happens %HESITATION I felt that a lot of that was covered at my extended family and I eat I literally didn't know what to do and now I know like I said I just think it was the pain of that trauma that my body was experiencing why am and just on the as you were saying that there was %HESITATION there was a quote that I listen to your car remember exactly where it came from but it says to heal the wound you must feel of wind and really resonated with me so not in the respect that I've been through what you've been to but I had been physically a so it to the point that I was almost left for dead a long time ago it's a story for another day and somewhat of a vote to shed but for me to be able to really have overcome that and went through the process of forgiveness and really trying to go back into that moment running kind of just plastering over and pretend it never happened it was only then my lifestyle to really change so would you say that was highly of the seat I know you're into you you do healing therapy now is off is that how you find your way of really moving on I suppose from the trauma you experienced and then releasing yourself and I no longer hopefully experiencing physical pain yeah eight it was a combination of things on I think after that experience with the surgery and jazz really you know I've always been very into it as %HESITATION and I've always been very in tune with my cells %HESITATION even though sometimes I didn't have the words to express what I was feeling I didn't feel like I have the support on I knew that that my life wasn't always going to be that way you know I knew that even as a young child and %HESITATION you know I would turn on it with read and so it seems like I've always been into like self help and self healing even at a very young age %HESITATION that there were lots of little incidents after that you know I I found myself in that piece of near it first marriage in which I quickly got out of that %HESITATION and then I went on to start a business with my current husband his amazing and supportive and I love him and %HESITATION things are going well with that and then a recession hit %HESITATION unfortunately and so we we pretty much lost it all and see now all the money and all the hard work that we had to put in sweats and so I also had it needs a new baby at the time and then you know go in trying to trying to rebuild from that %HESITATION and then I find out that my dad on has a terminal illness called pulmonary fibrosis and he was given six months to live so you know it's like a one thing happens and then you know now I am I'm caring for my newborn and and then I find out I'm going to have another child and then navigating through caring for my children and for my dad you know and and walking him through the process of his journey into his transition because you know he he only has six months to live at that point %HESITATION and so you know that was a beautiful gift but it was it was a difficult guest as well just just seen him go through that and then %HESITATION you know but I I did make a promise to him because we had we had all this ad tying Ted to talk about all the really important things and on my child's head in his childhood and and just a really understanding of each other and %HESITATION you know he made me promise that after his his transition I would get censored if there be I would seek out help I would seek out since ready healing and because not only was I going to have to heal from my childhood just that the fact hearing from from losing him because he he does quite literally my best friends so I went on to you know I I I need a promise to him and I was gonna sell sell that promise so I did seek out a couple of therapists and it was you know talk therapy and I I really didn't feel %HESITATION that I was making much progress and so someone mentioned %HESITATION EMDR so %HESITATION I don't know the specifics of how it %HESITATION that I did a couple of sessions with that and it was amazing %HESITATION and then one of my best friends who she's been on this journey with me sensor might style tent I'm she sat and at the time I was really into meditation I got into meditation and started really %HESITATION implementing a spiritual practice of my own and so she said Hey I heard about this healing circle it's a meditation circle I think you would really really really enjoy it and so I decided to go and that was my first experience with energy healing I had an energy healing session there and it was such a release I he asked out so much come out of my body I had this experience where I sell to my dad and in the presence of that room %HESITATION I saw him I heard him I was able to talk to him it was the most amazing experience and I left there and thinking what was that you know what is that I have to learn more about this and and so that's how I found my my first my first mentor and with that Brady Ricky healing this incredible yeah I was it was amazing just on that then so you know how you're having these experiences and I know you went on when you had the poisoning you run the in your life and obviously with your dad is that something that you're in control of or is it something that you can maybe manifesto is it just completely random when it happens I mean now it doesn't happen as often %HESITATION but it's something I can control within myself you know I'm not walking around is leaving my body that's good to know no and I'm just on everything else that you see you said that was going to say how inspiring it is because I always find when somebody goes through so much trauma so much adversity but they only see the gift from it and have a completely different perspective like yourself we said you so blessed to have all these gifts yet you've gone through so much stuff almost that you have to sit back and think how does one person cope with so much adversity so you extremely inspiring with that and I wanna ask what's your secret for continually rising each time you're not down with something and I think so I don't know that I had a cigarette I do have a spiritual practice that I uphold too and I am constantly working on mice cells %HESITATION that they think it's just really reflecting on and my dad you know I mean we I do this in in in his honor really I do this for my children I do this for other people at cyber Cup myself so that I can work on others because I want people to know that no matter what you go to in right now %HESITATION there's always a light at the end of the tunnel and and you're gonna make it through that's hard absolutely and I'm I'm extremely glad that you kept your promise to dining you you did seek the help because you're now in a position of the way you can help so many more people which is which is fantastic so good on you and then the MDR defeat sounds interesting to gain I think we spoke about this offline and this is our really kind of for a selfish reason just got fascinated by your story because I've always been interested in the whole heating in the spirituality side I think the only difference to me and you is it Faisal my grandma are in the mirror out will things fun of the war I would absolutely crap myself I would be running out of the house in anything so %HESITATION again you touched on a very good point though because I was gonna ask you the question is you only become scared of things in life when people tell you that you may be sure to society says that and then also if I was a kid I mean thinking about now I lived in my aunties has pretty much all the time I was always around with my cousins and I'm sure there was some men where things happening in the house but it felt home to me where is not %HESITATION I'm a grown man on the left they ease and if I have to go and stay there by myself on the not a problem he turned it down %HESITATION from inside some round so hopefully she's not listening to get offended but isn't it isn't it funny how the how the world works but I just think it is a beautiful gift I have been told in the game correct me if I'm wrong that be your have this ability to soft top into this kind of is it that audio this intrusion not with another high level %HESITATION yes I believe we all have we I have that ability to tune in to to spirit to the divine %HESITATION to our guides week we all have that ability I think sometimes you know we do go through different different things in life where we're not taught that we are able to do that I think that might be a disservice to lots of children you know because children don't question things they they're not afraid of things you know it it was very natural and normal for me and to have those connections %HESITATION and sometimes you know the way you know different people have you know sort of religious beliefs or that that conditioning of the way they've been raised %HESITATION wherever they are in the world and so sometimes you know that'll start kind of diminishing does start a connections because then we think what is Israel is this wrong %HESITATION should I be afraid you know but I think you know even with my own children %HESITATION my son is extremely empathic %HESITATION my daughter she also is very connected as a matter of fact %HESITATION after my father transition and ours was about three or four she started connecting with him she would see him and speak to him and %HESITATION she would tell me what he would say and then all those those memories and my childhood I'm I'm having this connection started coming back because I thought this is exactly what I thought when I was her needs %HESITATION yes so yeah all children we all do now we I have we all have the ability to connect with our loved ones %HESITATION have transitions and yeah I definitely believe that I think you hit the nail on the head that children are predicting that the fact that they remain curious and the Phyllis so I kind of wish Buell kept up a summer long life through Janie whether it's his old teachers or family we kind of really you stop and we start to be become afraid of things that maybe we shouldn't necessarily be afraid of them stop becoming curious because you're kind of pigeon holed ourselves into little pocket so surprised and it's a shame but I'm just I'm not then I just wanna ask something I'm playing devil's advocate here some people will probably think that the stuff that you and I believe in is a little bit ferry Talysh or something that doesn't exist for example so if we accept that there are people with their own beliefs which is absolutely fine but they've experienced the symbol of control missed yourself on the sexual abuse for example what would you recommend for somebody dealing with that pain at all they're all tentative is other than the whole spiritual healing is there anything that you could recommend perhaps again that the might not be in on some just asking as you can now looking back you know and there there's so many different healing modalities and there's so many different ways to go about healing you know energy healing as is only one of those things see now and %HESITATION I would say just find something that resonates with you whether that rare some people will feel very connected to to going to church and to praying %HESITATION meditation meditation was a huge %HESITATION practice for me that helped me on EMDR is is is something that you can go to a therapist for %HESITATION you know had no therapy there's so many different avenues %HESITATION and with the energy healing our rate your whatever it is that you choose to do %HESITATION that can really be a compliment to to lots of other things that you know it doesn't have to be one right of one modality you can pick and choose and and kind of find something that works for you but you know if I can say one thing on that %HESITATION I would say you know to stress the importance of of whatever type of healing that you signs whatever resonates with you that how important that is because and you know just I'm working on my cells and working on others %HESITATION I calm now now looking back I have learned that I come from a long line sort of abuse on both sides of the family and sexual abuse and and physical abuse and incest at an ancestral line but you know when you decide to step forward and and you'll those those things in in your %HESITATION in your life you're not only healing yourselves but you're healing your ancestral line and you're also healing for your children you know so that they don't have to carry that forward in their DNA and they don't have to go through the same things he went through so that's to me that's amazing and every time I see that and someone and I'm just so happy and excited for them because it it'll stop with you you know once you seek out that healing and that's an amazing thing to think I yeah absolutely because because it becomes a purpose be getting yourself which then obscene spies you right absolutely okay so touching on the final thing that I want to ask you which was about your business that you and your husband hadn't invested so much time and energy into which I sadly file during the recession what's the situation now what are you doing right this moment I will now looking back you know at the time you don't you don't kind of makes sense of things are happening %HESITATION but now looking back I don't think it was my journey it wasn't my past and so it didn't work out and I would have been tied to something that I did not live at the time I thought that this was money this is my passion I I was a hairdresser and so I did here and make up and %HESITATION %HESITATION I did a lot of weddings and so I opened up a bridal shop because that's a lot to weddings I'd love to be around happy time in people's lives and %HESITATION but now looking back on that was never really might have you know that was never really my journey %HESITATION in so how to have the business I wouldn't be doing what what I'm doing now I would have been able to spend that lasts six months with my dad definitely not because you know business of course as you know takes up so much time and energy and money and worry and stress so after after you know pretty much losing at all I mean we had it well that was that was a difficult time but on so my husband continue to work what you know he never he never quit his job %HESITATION and so I went on to just be leave work on healing my cells and I like I said I took training and what I do now which is freaky healing and and shortly after you know I really went into it because I was the one that needed the healing I never thought that I was going to use this to help other people right I definitely didn't think this was going to be what you call a business or anything of that sort %HESITATION diet I started really experiencing all those things I had experiencing experienced as a child so a lot of the mediums abilities came back and I noticed that every time I was you know practicing or working on someone %HESITATION I was connecting to someone on the other side %HESITATION and so that that led me and so what I do now mailing this incredible and I just want to pick up on a point that you said that you never went into it for yourself initially and you can never realized on the CD the wider impact I suppose you could have done and the funny thing is is a little bit about myself so ins I II has literally been my shadow for the majority of my life and when I started this podcast find your voice and when I first I do need about public speaking in just just trying to get out there and I joined Toastmasters and stuff a lot of it was just solely for myself it was to grow and right it was the kind of overcome the fears and I was going through this growth mindset thing thinking I'm not going to accept that in this very short amount of time I'm just going to be much like it for the rest of my life so I kind of threw myself out there and face my face but on the back end of that I realize the inspiration that is given to the people's all all will get her very run a message once in awhile from somebody saying every time you post even though you might for me for like a very mundane post because I pretty much do the same stuff every day it's saying you inspire me every day how you always just the high side your compass own and then I realize even in this podcast the power that we have in terms of one sharing I've learned abilities but then to try to overcome so that not really resonated with me because now I almost feel like the podcast especially is it's become a passion I'm just developed such an interest in a one of kind of mass three I want to become the best in the work I really want to spread messages like yourself and all them other fantastic guest out there in the votes of you'll don't shy away from our affairs and we just did she lived that charge %HESITATION being how children are like we spoke about earlier and just buffet listing curious about life yes I love that that's amazing I think you're amazing thank you blabla see that's your amazing and I just wanna ask actually just fun now knowing where you are you've come to find I believe your passion I yeah what's your daily routine like that so I pretty much do the same thing every day I get up pretty early I start my day by meditating so that something I don't ever deviate from I meditate %HESITATION and then I will journal a journal every morning and S. I'm reading a book which I tend to always read I'll read a couple of pizzas and then %HESITATION now this is a kind of kind of changes sometimes I go from going to the gym and sometimes and right now my habit is just I really like being outdoors so I start my day by either a walk or jog which really turns into kind of a shop full and I been listening to podcasts every single morning on my box so I need to do that and then I'll come back and work out and then I'm ready for my day %HESITATION but that's every single morning every single morning I did not this brilliant and within that you can see straight away there's a lot of self care and a lot of self love that goes into that so you kind of want any G. enormous revitalizing yourself before you kind of talk with the day which is right which is fantastic yeah and %HESITATION have you got any other hobbies other than what you do outside have you wreck and so I mean I love to read I have to spend time with family and friends I home school my children so that it pretty much takes up a lot and then you know of course in my clients and %HESITATION I don't know that their hobbies but there are things that I enjoyed doing and just being with my children really right now and and spending time with my husband excellent and I just wanna ask another question if I may Sir I have so many questions because a fascinating how you trying to spread your message in your because I believe you have a incredible story I believe you you can always help people in so many ways have you got like a you tube channel is not something in the part time or are you thinking about increasing Instagram I am thinking about open yeah so my Instagram spin %HESITATION I ate so this is kind of been a journey for me and it's it's it's been private for a very long time because %HESITATION met so where where I live and I think in general and there's been a lot of sort of back last when I started to take open up into more mediumship readings and %HESITATION to really do that some people are very strongly against not on so that was a little concerned when the fact that I do have children I didn't want that to affect them in any way %HESITATION but we've had we've had lots of moments are we talked about this and you know there's always going to be somebody that doesn't believe in what you do and doesn't like you so mostly right now all my workers just been word of mouth on there's a local magazine I've been fortunate enough here to write for eight and a couple interviews for that magazine %HESITATION and and I have my website and so that's basically but really it's just being out %HESITATION in my area a lot of clients sending more clients and say that it's been amazing but yeah thank goodness yeah I am going to start working on some more things %HESITATION I tend to procrastinate a little bit in that area out which I am I am working on that my husband gets a little irritated with me but yes I am opening up more and more slowly absolutely I gain is this approach this isn't it I mean our member initially so I come from a very academic background again I was always a shy kid yeah I would be doing the most random stuff in terms of our discredit you tube channel or I would just stop doing videos and it was almost read because people would say are you really that sorry but what they didn't see was that it would take me five hours to release a two minute you to video because on a on a three hundred the tents for and then the beautiful thing the allied with the channel was not I could manipulate it so much and cried with the is an all as an almost made myself if it and then somewhere along magenta realize actually that's not really the perception I want to be given a in fact let's just where my floors and we must because that you say guys this is kinda how I am I'm still working on it so I think definitely get you some case off I don't think instagrams a burning platform and I've spoken to a couple of them ladies you about you coming apart castle just offline actually and they have Instagram TV where they'll just do like minute videos or a couple of minutes video the day or maybe a week again oversee depends in you punch Cup but it really does give great value and slowly you can start to see the people who are engaged with the menu almost crate a community because as with myself I could say one messages somebody next %HESITATION could say the same message but the audience might resonate with them more than me or vice versa that makes sense I think yeah that makes perfect sense yeah and I think you're definitely get your orders and I just as you said something earlier I just want it was it was a call from Eric Thomas is a motivational speaker he says there's a group of people that need you more than you need to listen to the negative comments I love that I loved as a because in your back your mind you're worried about what these negative comments going to say but we really have to get people like yourself out there because like he says is a group of people that you need you I need this message so a ride takes on one of the truly I mean a tree down on a quite a hobby and I have a certain number of calls today and always just look at and it just kind of keeps me focused on my journey because if I listen to naysayers of people saying why are you doing this or don't you find it where that you'll try to put yourself on the Indians and almost kind of change and feel like it's my G. to kind of shape people's stories like I get to sit with you not for now and I learned so much from your adversity from you we stem from the way that you say I think that is an injustice if I don't share that with the road thank you for sharing that with me I love that yes yeah and that's something I've I've been I've been trying to work for a while now and again I think it kind of goes back to raise a child and you know I I I I receive a lot of negative comments and even now as an adult now %HESITATION I have tried to reach out to different areas %HESITATION and people have not been so nice that there which I totally understand and I'm fine with it but %HESITATION I I'm definitely working on that right you know we're out kind of a work in progress exactly exactly nobody has it figured out rule kind of just figuring it out as we go along yes it is about just finding your network because well I realize was again just on a quick tangent when I started my you tube channel my initial frustration was because my friends and family wasn't supporting it and then what I'm what I'm very quickly realize was that was not my audience that I needed to say yes that is such an amazing point yeah it is the only kit like eighteen months down the line so I know this resentment and all this kind of frustration and the prime into really realized hold and iron that's not who you need to be said doing so then I changed my focus and even I with this podcast my news feeds and the people in truck with a completely different to myself say twelve months ago because I need to be in a community where there are people who need healing there are people who just need the inspirational motivational somebody's contract vested not card trying to connect the dots if that makes sense and just make their life a little bit easier so yeah it's interesting I'm looking forward to your journey and hopefully you see a lot more fun to untested the next question as you probably know is going to be about investing on %HESITATION we've kind of touched on that very briefly at the beginning so by all means choose any type of investor that you've been through a lot that can be business for lady can be passed on or whatever okay but the main thing I want to know from this is just the lessons that you learned from it and what you can then take from that situation and move forward with a loud and I I think you know I've learned a lot through through the things I've gone through and I I think the main thing is that humans in general are so much stronger than I think we're even led to believe that we can take our stories on the trauma and the good points and all those things and just really use that to help other people and to let them know that they won't get through it as well %HESITATION but really I think it's just wow people are so strong and we don't even realize that what we're going through three those situations but how amazing we are your amazing and I think when people listen to this story people are gonna realize why we're even stronger so it's one thing thinking was strong and let me go straight face TV almost come out the other side and it's like that saying what doesn't kill you makes you stronger but when you have somebody else and this is why I love stories like yourself he's been through so much more and more and then so come out the other side and just has this radiant energy of just love and no resentment or any sort of a %HESITATION feeling it is very funny just shows your wives even more street that we can tap into thank yell and in this moment then why not what's your biggest fear %HESITATION something happening to my children and something happening to them and so I I do tend to be a little over protective with my children which I'm also working on that is that the home schooling as well no not so much no not so much the home schooling it's just I'm you know I'm very aware and people that are around my children at all times and %HESITATION yeah I am I am I am worried about something happening to my children I don't want them to have to go through the same thing that I that I experienced on so I would say that would be my biggest fear and that's very understandable thank you and next before we go into the from pie the show where I'm gonna put you through your paces I just want to ask for help %HESITATION in this moment is you'll inspiration you why for what you do what you do my children my children especially I wanted to see my my daughter because I want them to know that they can constantly reinvent themselves they they don't have to know all the answers you know by the time they're eighteen or nineteen at %HESITATION you know I want them to see that now I think all these different things I've done all these different things and I am still working on it so just do what makes you happy %HESITATION you know speak your truth I want them to know that so that's why I'm constantly and I am working on that because I want my daughter to you and my son of course but to speak your truth %HESITATION said they they are my why they are my inspiration for sure love this it should be for message and I think in a society where we're almost hypnotized with this poll of trying to fit in in trying to walk a set way trying to vice saying things and I'm just conform to I suppose what to site once she's very difficult to be ourselves right it would be beautiful to see more people really just trying to really embrace who who they are Hey at each stage of your life you know you don't you don't have to have all the answers yeah absolutely I'm still trying to figure one answer right that's correct but yeah we'll get that and so we are actually not what the form part of the show and this is kind of the show the pa the show sorry where I would just ask you the most random questions for sixty to ninety seconds we're gonna start in three two one if you could abolish one thing in the road what would it be %HESITATION crimes against children your favorite hobby reading your biggest role model my cat what would you like to be remembered for my your biggest goal this year to get out in a %HESITATION some heartfelt snacks and new people and and just really connect with others your west mistake my first marriage no if you could relive one day again what they would it be any day with my dad the ability to fly or be visible fly the number one thing that annoys you liars money or fame many your proudest moment giving birth to my children your favorite food would you rather speak more languages we'll be able to speak to animals I feel like I can speak to animals so I mean if you go with all languages if you had an extra hour day how would you spend any time with my children sixty two your favorite TV show ever I merely lab and I still really laugh the old classics like my legs on show I love those because they would you rather know how you would die or when you were done house and finally what is one question that you wish I had asked you covered at all and does this is amazing well bless you so that was nice and the next question when asked just before we move on to the final question is about reflection and the call I'm a firm believer that hindsight is a wonderful thing because obviously upon reflection we can always think of ways to get to places quicker easy how would less heartache what I want to know is if you could go about knowing everything that you know not too young and healthy maybe during your early years between the ages of eight to ten %HESITATION whatever agent was and you can just whisper something in the air knowing exactly what you know now what would it be %HESITATION I think in regards to the abuse that I suffered I would say it's not your fault this isn't your fault none of this is your fault %HESITATION that would be huge and did you believe it was your full at that at that particular time I thought I did something wrong definitely I thought I thought it was something I did wrong and I and I believe that for a long time you know so yeah I would definitely say that thanks for sharing if I may just ask on that was it was it difficult for you to come out and let your family know about it I mean how did the how did that let's change the fuck on %HESITATION so that was a totally different you know that's a whole story in itself but I'm like I mentioned my best friend who invited me to the meditation circle we were friends in middle school so I think by this time I'm eleven or twelve years old I don't know but I was just going to such a difficult time and like I said I was in so much physical pain %HESITATION that I opened up to her and I mean she was you know another child basically and and so she went to the school counselor and so the school counselor called me in and then called me parents and and so that's how it came now but by this time it was already you know seven years and but there was a lot of threats being named by this person so I was afraid yeah I was trying to ruin the family I was afraid I was going to get hurt to think he was going to hurt my appearance on I was afraid of not being believes %HESITATION and then at some point you know do you it's so common that in a way you accept it which is a strange concept but it just becomes your life and you don't know any difference at that point so excited even out I don't think that that you know at the earlier stages I didn't know was an option to to to speak out about and say Hey this is happening and this is %HESITATION county what should we do right I I literally had no idea and because it was so it was so common and it happened so many times that it just became my life who's thank you for sharing the thing yeah and just finally then so this is actually the last question I always love trust my guess and it's about let okay so if in a hundred fifty years time signs vows to save his soul and all that exists is a book and this book has everything that you've done in your life for the weight and wonderful things firstly what with the title of the book be and second what the Blair but the back tell us about coffee I think I would want the titled Sabine never alone and and I think I'd want it to really express that you know I was a compassionate he's sick kinds of person %HESITATION but I think I would want it soon you need expressed the fact is that I would want others to know that we all have this in our guidance and this and make healing power with an S. on that even you know in those darkest moments when we feel alone that we are able to tap into that in tune into that and that we are definitely more powerful than we hi to believe %HESITATION but I'd really want people to know that %HESITATION that they have this amazing ability inside them they will be much more courageous if we knew how strong we could truly be so that's right absolutely and Kathy suddenly dies obviously the end of that the questions but I want to give this I want to give you an opportunity and we get to guess an opportunity to obviously connect is also what's the best place that the list is can reach out to you and so I have a website it's Kathy Courtney dot net and I am on Instagram Kathy Courtney seven %HESITATION but definitely there my website if someone had any questions or you've definitely reach me on their phone testing and also to the website that I mentioned anyway I actually read your story and he and he was fascinated I'm so glad that I did read that story I did reach out pain because here I am myself too I mean this is been absolute pleasure energy as everyone listening to follow Kathy again if you go on even now with Instagram page we are following you %HESITATION you'll messages even in your captions and stuff is always in a message there but our I'm looking forward to you really coming out of your shower metes Stein T. share your life because this this conversation has been really enlightening for me I really do appreciate you sharing your vulnerabilities as well also thank you for taking time out of your day today and I want to also thank the leases well thank you for listening thank you so much I really appreciate you and remember this podcast is absolutely free so all we ask in return is for you to share this with a friend and drop us a five star review over on iTunes have an awesome day

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