Find Your Voice

Find your voice - Episode 12 - How to achieve your dreams as a single parent #12

Tagline: "Never give up and keep striving for what you deserve" Donna Marie Pegg

Donna is a single parent who has overcome depression. She is an entrepreneur, a property investor....oh and a police officer during her day job too!

You see she could have every excuse under the sun, as to why she is unable to achieve financial freedom and live life in accordance to her dreams, YET she chooses not to.

She chooses to make the best use of her time, eradicating her excuses and chasing what she truly desires.

For anyone who may have suffered from break-ups, relationship problems and found themselves working 2 or 3 jobs with a child, I hope you can take inspiration from Donna's story as she is living breathing proof that with the right mindset and action anything is possible.

I urge you to follow her story and journey further as this wonderful lady is going places!

Follow it below:

Thanks for listening

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Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

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LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com

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Links to guest:

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/compasspropertyinvestment/ (Property)

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/keepsakesbymadefrommemories/ (Business)

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/madefrommemoriesbears/ (Business)

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/compasspropertyinvestment/ (Property)

Website: www.madefrommemories.com

Email addresses:

[email protected]

[email protected]

#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice

[Music]

welcome to an episode of find your voice

a movement led by yours truly

Aren do a guy who has overcome

crippling anxiety adversity and

difficulty like so many of you in life

whose main goal now is to help you

combat your excuses take control of your

life write your own story and most

importantly find your voice so now Aren

without further ado I welcome the host

of the show himself mr. Aren do what's

going on people thank you for tuning in

to another episode of find your voice my

name is Aren and as always I am the

host of the show

so today's guest is somebody I would

consider a rising star and by that I

mean it's somebody who's really taken

the property world by storm in such a

short amount of time now for many of you

that know me I am actually a full time

property investor and it's kind of what

made me I suppose

financially free to allow me to do

passion projects like today but this

lady's not far off and I say watch this

space because she's gonna be somebody

who you're gonna be either working with

watching or perhaps just taking huge

amounts of inspiration from now the

reason I say that is because through our

interview and through conversations

offline I found out that this person was

also working was also working on the

side was also a single parent and had a

side business as well so for anyone out

there who thinks they can't do it or

they don't have enough time or work

stressful or their kids are playing up

well listen I don't want to hear it

don't hear your excuses and I'm sure

Donna who's I guess today doesn't want

to hear them either so without further

ado let's get this interview on the way

how are you doing today you're right

yeah I'm very well feeling very poised

up actually from good weekend fantastic

fantastic okay so if you could kind of

explain how you've progressed through

life and ended up where you are now in

your journey okay I've done quite a lot

in life actually a so I've done yeah

there's there's been quite a lot of

peaks and troughs I'm sure

like a lot of people so I had a very

good upbringing I was brought up with

money so my dad is a business he was

very business minded my mom was a

stay-at-home mom to three girls so I had

that whole business influence from my

dad and also the caring motherly role

quite a old-fashioned role really

because my dad went out to work and my

mom stayed at home and looked after his

full-time so it was nice to I think you

know that the importance of modeling and

everything and I had I had a very good

upbringing because you know like I said

I had the business aspect of my dad and

the drive and understanding the

importance of money which he was a big

believer in his understanding so we

worked from a very young age I was 30

when I had my first job yeah and I did

to be honest I didn't need to work

because we had a big house I had horses

we had land you know so I had an amazing

start in life but my dad came from a

very humble background and was like it's

important that you understand the value

of money and to go out to work so yeah I

started work when I was thirteen and my

own money

and I've worked ever since maybe that's

why I'm such a hard worker and and I

know that unless you put the grafting

you don't get the result sort of thing

so absolutely yeah so and and then I

stayed on at school so I was very

academic minded out of the three of us I

was the one the clever one the same

there's always one I can relate to that

yeah yeah yeah cuz you're the brainy one

as well apparently but I probably

disagree now I think my little sisters

taken that always taken over now so yeah

so I did I stayed at school did my

a-levels I did a BTech National Diploma

in art and design cuz that's the sort of

area was going down and then I went to

Newcastle and did a fashion marketing

degree for four years within that four

years at did a three-year and the three

years

were academic in university and then I

did a year within industry it was

classed as a sandwich course so jewelry

in that time I went and I design ladies

handbags for the high street yeah so I

used to that was my old rock my old

career I suppose I started designing

ladies handbags for the high street went

into designing and then I had a bit of a

moment in life are separated at a six

year relationship with my first love as

well they were met when I was 17 and

that massively affected me like I ended

up having depression and anxiety I mean

I stayed in bed mom bless mom mom she

had to come and get me out of bed

sometimes because it was just all for

coping with it

you know together six years and yeah had

a bit of a I don't know maybe a bit of a

life-changing moment and I was like this

got you know there's got to be more to

life than lying in bed crying over an

ex-boyfriend so I ended up going

travelling backpacking around Australia

on my own which was rather daunting he

finds herself in a country the other

side of the world on your own to kind of

find yourself yeah but it was the most

amazing thing is the freest I've ever

felt in my life you were in a country

you could go wherever you wanted

whenever you wanted and you weren't

restricted by time or money or anything

and it was it was absolutely amazing and

it I spent six months over there and I

actually were hosts I was over there

started applying for jobs because I

wanted to do extreme sports where design

that was a passion of mine I've always

been into surfing and snowboarding and

that was a great passion of mine so

basically I went over to have kind of a

holiday but I took again I think it's

always been about entrepreneurial yeah I

took a CD basically with my whole

portfolio that I generated at university

and a posted out or the major company so

Quicksilver Rip Curl Billabong and then

I got contacted I was on Fraser Island

doing a two-day trip a incredible place

and I had no internet because it was

just in the middle of nowhere and I had

a ping on my phone and it was a

voicemail from Quicksilver saying they

wanted to interview me and I was like

wow like what an opportunity that was

for designing designing extreme

sportswear so you know like all year

snowboard any surf hoodies and all of

that yeah that's what they do they're a

massive brand if you're into you some

kind of skate and surf wear so what an

opportunity so I went to Turkey where

they're based and I stayed there for a

week I went for an interview and they

offered me a position as a junior

designer fantastic but they they said to

me we basically want you to be able to

do all your CAD design so basically all

the things I drew they wanted me to be

able to do it on a computer so I was

like you know for me to then get the job

because it was all Illustrator based and

Photoshop based so yeah I basically ran

out of money anyway in Australia SCI had

to come home right yeah I'd done

everything I've gone from the bottom of

Australia like that's where the Twelve

Apostles are open book to Ken so I'd

done the whole of these coasts and so I

came home I did a CAD design course

passed the course and then I had a momen

again another maybe life-changing moment

what do I actually want out of life and

the thing is with the fashion industry

although it's amazing and it's so

inspiring the world of design it's very

pretentious as well and I'm a very open

bubbly person and always have been and I

was surrounded by a lot of people and it

was all about money what you owned

rather than who you were as a person

so maybe I went a little bit deep with

all of that and was like what could I do

that would make a difference yeah and

and then I saw Lester Constabulary were

recruiting for police officers yeah so

this was our 11 years ago 12 years 12

years ago now so I went along with my

mom to the event and it was amazing the

fact that you could do so many different

roles within one job and I did all the

application process and passed it got

really high level all the written and

the mathematical but I didn't get

through the interview I just didn't have

what it was necessary to get the

position so I kind of gave up which was

very unlike me because I definitely am

and I'm a bit like if somebody says no

to me mate it's me working honestly so

my coach at the time the person who

basically was doing all the application

process with us and making sure that we

knew what we needed to do to get to the

end goal which was to get the role as a

police officer she contacted me actually

and said do not give up you were amazing

real I think you have what it takes and

on that occasion you weren't successful

but you were up against a lot of people

who were like PCSOs

or special so they had more of a police

knowledge than I did because I had no no

friends in the police no family in the

police I had no idea what was involved

so yeah I basically transferred my

application to West Midlands Police and

because I'd done everything the only

thing I had to do for them was the

different fitness tests because they

have a different fitness test - Lester

and a passed that and so yeah my 11 year

service now with them oh wow I know I

don't even know how the time just

so I did well at school I wanted to do

well in my career I wanted to be a

business always had this dream being a

business woman and because yeah I mean I

because I'd hit on it a little bit so we

had Hall she's growing up so when I was

13 I was asked to ride for Great Britain

yeah so at 13 I got scouted so that was

something else I used to do as well on

the side of going to school yeah I am

so yeah dude horse riding when I was

younger and I got asked to ride for

Great Britain but I again had this

thought in my mind I want to be a career

woman I had friends at school you know

and I was I did I thought if I do that

it's going to stop my development in the

area that I want to go in right so I

never I never did that and again I think

that's because of the person that I am

like I'm always striving for something

so I did the university thing and

obviously because of my university and

then are separated from my ex of six

years I would then spend some time on my

own I spent two and a half years on my

own I think it was really really

important to find you as a person of

course so yeah I did a bit of

soul-searching I think during that time

and figuring out who I was and what I

wanted in life because I find in a

relationship when you spend a long time

together you just become a couple yeah

rather than an individual

yeah and I lost myself I didn't know who

I was anymore what I wanted so yeah I

then spent some time on my own joined

the police and then I met my most recent

ex who's my daughter's father and we

were together 10 years so yeah I didn't

have my daughter until I was nearly 30

right okay okay

so when my daughter was four months old

I then set a business or

so I was still a police officer but I

took maternity leave for 30 months to

bring her up and I set my business up so

keepsake company it's called made from

memories basically I make handmade

keepsake bears out of outgrown baby

clothes that's a fantastic idea yeah yes

so it's it's it's massively popular and

I've got a massive following now so I've

been doing it for six years and I also

make the some remembrance cushions out

of granddad shirts you know from family

members that have passed or teddy bears

out if I mean I get a lot of people like

they've lost their partner to cancer

I've done bears made out of soldier

uniforms because mum mums have lost

their son in war in Afghanistan so it's

honestly it's I love it I absolutely

sentimental is what it is and they're so

individual because obviously they're

made from the clothes belong to that

person that's lovely

aslam something else I've just learnt

from you as well oh oh like I said it

was always property and obviously we got

speaking that was that hard in a second

there's a fascinating story here and a

fascinating lady's doing all these

amazing things because we touched on it

prior to starting this interview with

them I want people who may may be in a

similar situation to yourself I been a

single parent having all these

aspirations and businesses on the side

to believe in themselves a little bit

more that they can go out and do so much

more

yeah I mean I don't know how you fit in

this in by the way I'm gonna ask you

that because we all only have 24 hours

in the day which is fascinating and

maybe it's it's probably something you

touched on earlier in your life where

you saw your dad the modeling aspect and

seeing how hard I suppose he were to

come from one more background to give

you and I think you've got two siblings

you mentioned I have two young younger

sisters

Trisha Harvey who's my mentor actually

in property who's an amazing individual

and she does real live coaching

and he's just I think maybe I mean I

went to MMI I don't know if you're

familiar with MMR them

mind intensive if it's all to do with

the P yes er Becca if you haven't done

it you should definitely go basically

they cover your money blueprint and how

you think about money and how you're

modeling from a child has affected the

decisions that you make regarding money

that's very interests and I went and

yeah I went and did that for three days

and a think I had a very very positive

idea of money and I think that's because

of my dad money was never negative like

they came out with comments like rich

people of greedy people you know like

all negative connotations towards money

and because I'd had such a positive

thought on wealth and money because my

dad God apart from my dad saying you

know wait till you get older how hard

you have to work for money yeah he did

everything was very positive around

money and business and working so yeah

babe maybe that's where it all started I

think so because I think I have probably

heard more negative connotations towards

money growing up and I suppose even

myself having come from humble

backgrounds you do hear those sayings

monies of you a whole evil and rich

people are greedy rich yeah growing up

and having to change my own mindset

which has been an absolute minefield

yeah you know through reading and

affirmations and stuff I think you don't

necessarily need to love money but you

need to at least understand the benefits

that it can give you so I think it's

fantastic that you had that from a young

age and obviously you'll be able to pass

that message on to your little one as

well

yeah well incredibly actually hitting on

Holly she I've been away for three days

in London and my sister's real life

property event and my mum had my

daughter so I came home on Sunday to

pick her up and we were talking about

the future and everything and my mum

said my daughter said that she's had

enough of school already

six sheshe loved school all about I

think cuz it's getting harder now

because she's getting old she said to

her Nana no no I don't I don't want to

be at school anymore

and my mom said to her Holly

well you've you've still got primary

school and high school to do you've got

a long time still in education and she

turned around so my mommy she says but

but Nana I'm going to do what my mommy

did yet she says mummys going to help me

build a portfolio of properties of so

that I don't have to stay in school and

that I can be a businesswoman just like

her fix I know I was like that's amazing

and then I sat down and I was explaining

summer mom about passive income and the

fact that I'm wanting to build up a

portfolio for Holly so that she's got

the choice of what she does so whether

she wants to work or set her own

business up or go traveling I said I

wanted to have the opportunity that

she's got the money coming through so

she can decide where her future lies

rather then you know life dictating to

her where she's going to be absolutely I

think you hit the nail on the head days

it's it's all about choices in it and

definitely if you can provide it with

that and I suppose that's kind of where

I'm looking at as well so similar to

yourself in terms of like children and I

want to kind of set my business up first

when I do choose to have kids I want

them at a very early age to had that

mindset that house just displayed there

yeah and to know that there are other

ways where you can if you use money the

right way especially through property

which you both understand give them that

message at an earlier age it's only

helped them well Erin you I mean from

what I've read of you and seen of you in

your YouTube videos and that you've

you've had a very similar sort of status

me because you've done several different

things and had to find where you were

and in fact you being a social worker

and me being a police officer it's all

about giving back is a hundred percent

absolutely and and you touched on it

earlier as always said like there's more

to life than money and stuff and that

was kind of the reason I gave up project

management and working for a great

London company

because I was like there's gotta be more

to life and that's kind of where I went

into the Social Work side

my only problem was I just realized the

impact I suppose I wanted to have in

Social Work I was unable to give and

that's the same as the place because

what I I joined to make a difference but

because of legality is and the

government and the the yeah the

restrictions of court and everything I

although I want to make that impact I

can't make that impact because this

restrictions stopping me I suppose

that's probably the reason you then

chose to go through property yes

well property's always been one of these

I was one of these who sat for hours

watching and and I've always loved

property in the excitement of you know

having having a dirty stone and making

it into a diamond sort of thing yeah you

know buy and also again my mission is to

make affordable housing to a high

quality standard and made every house a

home I mean my company compass in

property investment is all about giving

people the right direction and making

every house a home whether it's for a

temporary accommodation until they find

their forever home whether it's their

first home that they're buying as a

couple or whether I'm providing a

forever home for them it's just giving

them that feeling of being at home I

think I think I'm as a student and also

my professional life I've rented and you

know these rooms in houses or you know a

single-layer if you you don't abide to

let just never feel at home and that's

important to me in my portfolio is to

create houses that feel like home Joel

at home that's a lovely message and I

think I think everyone wants that dawn

there really I mean I try and do that

with my tenants as well ways I try and

let them use it as their home so if they

want to decorate they want to do stuff

that's absolutely fine by me because he

is about creating that home because let

you said we know what it's like

have that feeling of coming home as

opposed to just staying somewhere where

you think this is just a temporary

measure and I think it's important you

know with regards to keeping your

tenants as well because if you provide

such an amazing environment for them

they're safe and clean and tidy if they

want to stay there because it does feel

like home absolutely yeah I mean I've

had no change obvious

touchwood so fingers crossed it stays

like that but yeah I just love that

message behind what you're trying to do

in property so I need to ask you now

because obviously we've touched on all

these amazing things you're doing I'm

sure you probably miss some stuff out as

well what's your what's your what's your

daily routine like then so being a

single mother getting into property and

I've seen some of your cracking deals

that you've got lined up now working in

the police force as well you're into

health and fitness which you haven't

mentioned but I know that from stalking

your profile so what other things are

you doing and what what's the kind of

day in the life like for you oh my my

days are absolutely crazy

I can imagine I'm not gonna lie it they

it is bedlam because I obviously split

with my ex a couple of years ago so he

has my daughter a few days a week which

also allows me to have some time to get

things done I only work part-time in the

police now so I work Monday Tuesday

Wednesday every week and I then have my

business my keepsake business however

since I went to MMI and looked at my

business and growing the business and

coming out of the business because the

problem with me at the moment is I'm in

everything and I've now now I've come

down this mindset journey and going into

property and with my mentoring and

coaching with Trisha I've now realized

that I need to come now I've set things

up and they're going really well and

I've built up a massive client base I

need to come out of it because my time

is precious and if I invest all my time

in one thing I can't do anything else so

I've actually recently taken on two

ladies that I'm going to train up to

make my keepsakes

that's going to be basically handed over

to them and then I will just manage it

which is then going to free up some time

to do more on the property side which

I've just started but like you hit on

Aren of you know I've already got two

deals and they're big projects the like

eight bed HMOs that I'm also juggling in

between and I'm sure you know the amount

of viewings that you have to go on to

find these deals absolutely it's

inspiring to see what what you're doing

because like I said I keep saying it but

initially I thought was just property

then obviously getting to know you over

the last month or so I'm hearing how

many other things you're doing and if

anything it makes me feel quite lazy to

be honest because I'm like oh I haven't

got a child to look after I haven't got

an occupation where I need to be there

Monday to wednesday so and yeah I know

how difficult it is it's literally you

got to get used to the word know you've

got to get used to rejections you want

to be on the ground 24/7 so it's

inspiring and hopefully inspires other

people is well out there who may yeah

think having being a single parent or

having a part-time job or a full-time

job is a way to kind of excuse them from

not aspire to there's no excuse there's

you are your own worst enemy the reason

you don't succeed in life is because of

yourself and it's and I'm a great

believer in taking action if you don't

take action you don't take risk nothing

ever changes and the thing is if I

carried on doing what I've always done I

would just remain where I've always been

so exactly so what I've done is it is

difficult I'm not going to lie it's hard

work but I've done so much change

recently and so much on the mind set

because mine's it's so important because

to me if you're your heads not in the

game you're not in the game

you know and it massively you need to be

telling yourself every day reminding you

you can do it I mean every day I write

down my successes I do my five successes

every day I also write my goals down so

it's important that

you know what your goals are you know

your your quarterly goals your yearly

goals your five yearly goals ten and

your 20 year Li goals because it gives

you something to aim towards I think I

hit on that earlier about how important

your goals are to make you drive towards

them and obviously looking you hit on

earlier as well the affirmations and

declarations it's it's all about you

know getting you and your mind in the

right place and it's amazing how much

only in a matter of a couple of months

my life has just gone upside down in a

good way in a good way honestly the

things that are coming to me like the

amount of investors that are contacting

me for my projects because all my

projects are 100% investor led we do JV

partnership but I use zero of my own

money it's all investor money that pays

for my property is which and they get a

very good return much better return than

they would with the banks but as you

know Erin you do the same core same

thing so but it's so important because

you you know the these individuals are

buying into me it's not just about the

deal it's about me as a person and I'm

very positive but very brave and very

motivated I'm a very friendly

approachable person which is very

important and I believe in myself oh yes

I am a single mom yes I do own a busy

business yes I do have a job and yes I

have set a property business sort but

I'm doing it it's so inspiring I mean

I'm just taking notes here because I

want to what I want to do from what you

just said days give single parents at

home just a couple of tips there so the

number one thing and this is something

that I've had to really really work on

myself in the last six months is believe

in yourself because irrespective of what

anyone else says whether it's your mom

whether it's your partner your siblings

you have to believe in yourself above

all else and also if there's no

if people around you you don't

necessarily need to get rid of them but

maybe you've spent less time with them

so if you're spending two hours a day

with those people maybe spend 20 minutes

a day with them because the people that

are around you the the negativity that's

around you will only keep you where you

are it will not move you forward I think

that's a great point because some people

always think how can I just get rid of

somebody who's negative in my life yeah

and we're not necessarily saying you

need to get rid of them what I do is I

kind of do this thing where I look at

them and I'll smile and nod but I'm not

listening to a word they're saying

if I know it's negative and at the same

time and that's mainly for people I know

I have to kind of be around but if it's

someone negative I do the same thing or

try and reduce your time with them you

also mentioned a very very good point

which is you write down your goals daily

you do your lashes but I just want to

quickly elaborate on something you said

the five successes is that five

successes that you want to achieve or is

it five successes that you've done

perhaps the previous day no that day so

it means every day yes at the end of

every day I've got a success book just a

little book a notebook and I write the

day and successes and I do five so it

can be as little as often it's the

school run I'm late on time and you know

we get the thing the thing is we don't

we don't celebrate our small successes

we've achieved on a daily basis and it's

just sometimes the little things

especially with people with depression

and I've been there just getting up and

showers and getting dressed for the day

is a massive achievement for somebody

with depression you know simply picking

the phone up to ask for help when you've

got depression that is a massive thing

so it's little successes like I said

getting to the school run on time going

and doing some viewings putting an offer

in on a house networking with somebody

to possibly get another investor on

board for a project they're all little

successes that believe you need to

highlight and and they they say about

once you write it down the mechanics of

your brain work differently and it

you've you kind of take it

even better when she write it down so

that's what I do at the end of every day

I write down my five successes no matter

how big or small I love this so what you

referred to at the end I think it's

called a reticular activation system is

that what it is yeah that's how you say

and it's kind of like these so an easy

example is if for instance you go out

and you looking for a red car or you buy

a red car all of a sudden when you're on

the road you'll notice in that red car

everywhere where it's prior to that you

probably didn't so I think if you can

tune your brain in the right way that

you're looking for opportunities you're

seeking better that better purpose or

vision of your life you're going to

start attracting that sort of stuff and

you are just touched on something

they're really important about the small

wins

I suppose I'm guilty of this myself

because I will probably have a lot of

small ways in the day but I'm not

generally in that probably the way I

should so I'm literally written out here

that I'm gonna literally copy what

you're doing there because I think

that's an amazing point to do I know the

depression stuff that you mentioned be

showering and little things like that

haven't haven't seen my mom struggle

with it for the best part of eight years

I know that as a personal thing so it's

it's it's a fantastic point there and

hopefully people listening to us could

take that on board so it's not as easy

as it sounds I suppose obviously we'd

like the Instagram success and we're

looking around on social media seen

everyone doing all these amazing things

24/7 yeah but he's like you know Aren

is do not ever compare yourself to

anybody else that that is the worst

thing that anybody can do you know focus

on what you're doing where you're

heading what you're wanting from life

and also you hit on yeah I'm a big

Fitness nutrition that's one of the

reasons actually Aren that I found you

through your fitness journey to be fair

before before the property journey and I

massively believe healthy body healthy

mind I have a very clean diet only in

the last four months have I started I do

weightlifting and all of those people

out there again single moms I don't go

to the gym I do this from home but be in

the last couple of months I've lost a

stone and I'm only small anyway you know

I've always been slim but it's important

to me

that you get every part of your life in

balance I think and and in your diet

exercising you know they release so many

different chemicals that make you feel

better about yourself so yeah it is hard

work trying to fit all of this in

thought you know it makes such an

incredible difference it does just have

to do it

oops I agree I think it's it's just

small wins no habits rather than looking

at the big picture I think the

comparison thing is a massive point but

it's again it's easier said than done I

think once you find yourself looking at

stuff constantly

I would just news it I would just stop

using that up and just really try and

find yourself which is something that

you mentioned before great stuff and so

the next thing I want to know is about

adversity so you're very bubbly you're

doing amazing things and I'm sure like

like many of our listeners you've had

your fair share of adversity as well

could you if you wouldn't mind explain a

time where you've perhaps been through

adversity maybe something recent I

suppose in your journey whether it's a

deal falling through or something

something significant that you think

that could normally break somebody will

give somebody the opportunity to present

themselves with an excuse I mean we all

have struggles in life I mean only red

light it's it's quite recent only two

years ago now like I said I split with

my ex and it's it's been difficult you

know I'm not I'm not gonna lie becoming

becoming a single mom knowing that had

my business work you know all the other

day-to-day role the role of a mother to

contend with and juggle with it's been

difficult I I took the decision to end

that relationship which again was a

massive you know because I my decision

was going to affect three people not

just myself however I'm i sat one day

was like I feel lonely and I feel

negative and I feel unhappy and I'm in a

relationship and that isn't what its

life's about you should be in a

relationship you should feel adored you

should feel that that person brings

the best of you brings out the best

version of you and that they add to your

life so that was a massive thing for me

to do was to end a relationship

especially when we had a young child

together and almost stop being selfish

because I had to think about the bigger

picture the future and obviously the

position of you know how it was going to

affect my daughter I suppose so yeah I

mean I could have easily have just said

look let's just carry on you know let's

just make it work let's work harder at

it but I had to make that decision to

like we've got to the end of the road

and it's it's not it's not making me any

better it's not making him any better

and it certainly isn't going to make our

daughter any better so I'd say that's a

massive achievement in itself to make

and realize that you needed to make

changes Wow I think you just heard there

it is an achievement I think thinking

about the bigger picture in that in that

scenario because I see spar - often

people who are just unhappy in life yeah

being unhappy you have to accept that

it's a choice and you've sat there and

you thought actually I need to make a

decision here to change this and for the

better and it seems like it's going for

the better I hope obviously the other

party is fine as well and obviously your

daughter's in it in a good place as well

so we've got a very amicable

relationship he's a great guy he's an

amazing dad so and I could never take

that away from him but together I mean

as a family unit we works but together

as a relationship we didn't and and it's

important for for everybody out there

don't be scared like I say so many times

two friends of mine who are in happy

relationships but it's all about the

money and it's all about the security

and you know they're scared but I'd hand

on heart say it's not as hard as you

think it's going to be it really is and

I suppose I'm guilty of it myself

because sometimes when you have to make

a decision and if you know it's going to

hurt one of the other parties I really

really struggle with that and it's only

recent

I just kind of do like a five-four

three-two-one

a kind of a Mel Roberts approach where

I'm like okay five four three two one

and I'll just send that message out or

I'll give him the cord yeah say the

message and like you said it's not as

hard as you think and in hindsight I

mean after a day or two you everything's

normally a lot better than probably the

scenario you're telling yourself in your

head exactly so what's your biggest fear

then my biggest fear I think he cycle

okapi who is failure and doing something

and not succeeding I've been very

fortunate the decisions that I've made

in life of always I've always succeeded

over succeeded and everything that I've

done even little jobs I've had

reception jobs at dental practices and

the the head dentist there is then

offered to give me a position and as a

dental nurse I worked in adopts of

surgery as a receptionist and got asked

if I wanted to train as the practice

manager so people honestly people of

always whatever position I've ever done

in my life they've always seen something

in me to go further than where I am

however you always still have your own

fears and your own doubts about whether

you can achieve what other people can

see in you so yeah I think that's one of

my fit my just fear of failure and fear

of not you know I suppose like Pete

people think that I'm going to be here

like a certain level and I'm like oh my

god am i you know am I gonna let yeah am

I gonna let everybody down

and I'm not gonna reach even their

expectations of me

yeah that's a massive fear of me

sometimes and what what if so for

instance you did fail so say for is this

your next venture in property it didn't

go the way that you wanted it to go

I mean I've struggled to believe that

you would let that knock you down no I

bloody wasn't you know it's one of those

things that you know what at that

particular time that deal wasn't right

and it didn't work and you know there's

massive learning

in it I mean already with my first

project things are coming up that I'm

having to get over I'm learning so much

already because this property that I'm

working currently on is in a

conservation area and I did realize that

the loft extension in its been done and

it's not got planning permission and

there's permitted development for

certain things so loft extensions are

under committed development but in a

conservation area you basically can't

even move a tree

you can't cut hedges down you can't

change windows you can't do anything

without planning permission so it's like

little things like that but I'm learning

because I'm now working with planning

I'm now working with HMO offices you

know contacting I've got a tree that is

like push the roots are pushing into the

property so I'm having to get a survey

done but it's like now I'm in touch with

the council

I've spoken to tree surgeons and all of

that just ask the mom database my you

know everything that I'm learning along

the way and next time if things aren't

that come up he's scary thought because

I've dealt with it all really yeah

absolutely I would personally think

judging by that and say that your

biggest fear is probably expectations

rather than at your failure because I

just feel like you're just go through

your learn and then you're you'll be

better and you just kick ass next time

basically yeah definitely

and I mean I've I've gone very big with

my first projects because a lot of

people said oh my god Donna like it's

your first projects that it's an

eight-oh and obviously we get all the

people the negative people say you can't

do a hecho mo for your project you've

got to 1/8 birds for your first project

you won't get the investors you can't

get a bridge loan because we deal with

bridge loans and I'm like well it's

funny because I'm doing all of that

exactly so but but it's only through the

fact that my sister is my mentor that I

know she's doing it she's getting

properties passed through blanket

article 4 areas people on the HMO groups

which are also on our own are saying

that's impossible that's impossible

that's

so I don't even comment anymore it's

possible yeah absolutely it's just

impossible for them I would just

literally leave it I think it's a

blessing in disguise that obviously

you've got Trisha there to help you as

well because I'm not she's doing

fantastic things but you also have to

give yourself credit as well for your

mindset yeah yes I'm sure she's been a

massive catalyst and help but I just

feel that your enthusiasm and like you

said anything you you generally touch

you will make a success of it so don't

forget to obviously give yourself praise

there as well

yes no no I I think I use my sister to

remind me you know when my little voice

comes in over where yes yes I use my

sister as my no she's done it no she's

done it she's got those figures on

refinance she's managed to do that so

why can't I so she's just I suppose

she's my little crutch at the moment

because I haven't done it so when I have

done it I'll be saying well no I did

that last time you know I'm doing

already done that I just want to bring

up that point as well you mentioned the

little voice because I can so relate to

that and I'm sure there's many of my

listeners who have this little voice in

their head and the beautiful thing with

you just saying that there is we all

have that little voice so some of us

might sit there you might have this

self-doubt and believe that maybe this

just isn't for me but when you start

speaking to people who are doing amazing

things and I'm sure Trisha would

probably say the same thing I bet you

she has that little voice as well but I

think what we have to do is we have to

learn how to calm that voice down and

kind of overpowering I suppose in it and

also reminding yourself that your little

voice isn't you yeah that little voice

isn't you this is all your that's all

that all your insecurities all your

negativity all those it's like the

little devil sitting on your shoulder it

really is telling you that it isn't

possible that you can't do it but you

can because all you need to do is take

action stay positive keep the the right

people around you and network with the

right people and you can make anything

happen

absolutely I love that

what we're gonna do now is we're gonna

go into the fun part of the show and

just keep it that you have no idea

what's gonna happen but oh my god it's

really easy

hopefully it's a bit of fun it's just

sixty Seconds where I'm gonna ask you

the most random questions just to kind

of give the listeners a little bit more

about yourself and mix it up a bit so

are you ready yes all right fantastic

we're going to start in three two one

okay romance or comedy a comedy Italian

or Chinese Italian the best place you've

ever been Australia cinema or bowling

cinema the ability to fly or be

invisible Oh probably to fly money or

fame money horse riding or fashion horse

riding Netflix our YouTube YouTube

Snickers or Mars

Snickers every day favorite TV show ever

probably friends speak all languages

will be able to speak to animals

language is your biggest inspiration at

this particular moment in time

definitely my sister Trisha love it if

you could sit with one person in the

world for an hour who would it be

it's a queen you know would you rather

know how you would die or when you were

dying when if you could have polish one

thing in the world what would it be

bullying your favorite song ever

Stereophonics performance and cocktails

is there and the final question is would

you rather read minds

or predict the future read minds love it

brilliant that's it oh my god bless ya

it's more fun that way because you can't

plan for it really yeah okay so I

believe hindsight is obviously a

wonderful thing and it teaches us that

we can get to places quicker faster and

probably with less money as well but at

the same time the journey does teach us

a lot as well so what I want to know is

if you could go back in time to maybe

one moment where you were younger what

advice would you give yourself yeah I

think at school I got bullied which I'm

sure a lot of people went through so you

know if I wish I had my thoughts my

feelings of our positivity back when I

was like 12 13 I said Terry

with my skin so yeah it was a hard time

during my teenage years and I just wish

I could go back and tell that person

that you know your you are stronger than

you think you are and these people it's

their own insecurities it's their own

issues with themselves that are causing

them to bully you yeah so I I own ously

would not change a single thing that has

happened in my life because it's been

Who I am today for like you said if I

had to go back I would love to tell that

little girl the life will be good life's

gonna be amazing you just need to

believe in yourself I love it

I hate bullying like when you said that

yes named with me because I've had

family members suffer with it I was I

suppose I was very fortunate that I was

quite popular at school so I kind of

never really in aspect but even now

growing up and becoming I suppose more

intelligent more emotionally aware I

sometimes keeping myself how I never

really like intervened or stopped sort

of you know how yeah kind of laugh with

the crowd and I suppose that yeah that's

just as bad really but at that time yeah

so you feel like you'd you feel like you

should have stood up myself for that

because if I ever see anything now as a

man I'd always jump in but as a kid I

suppose you're almost kind of worried I

suppose that if you jump in then you're

gonna be at the crux of everyone's jokes

yeah I think social medias happen in

terms of bringing it out there so when

there are these cases going on and I've

seen quite a few terrible stories it is

bringing the importance that you know

this just isn't acceptable because it

was such a long term effect but I'm so

glad that it hasn't obviously affected

you too much because now you're doing

amazing things and inspiring yeah and

and you know what it's quite nice now

that I'm older and I am successful and I

look back on those people at that time

who aren't doing very well now and I'm

like that's because of the decisions

that you've taken because of the actions

you know and how you're behaved is

resorted to where you are today and - to

be honest I'd love to sit down with them

really

then reflect on their decisions and what

they're doing in their life to make

their lives better yeah absolutely

brilliant so sadly that actually brings

us to the last question of the day and

the last question I always ask my guess

is if in a 150 years time and science

fails to save us and all that is left is

a book on a table and that book is about

yourself it's about your life and

everything that you've accomplished in

your life what would the title of that

book be and what would the blurb tell us

about you oh what a question the title

would definitely be never give up hmm

love it so doesn't matter how hard it

gets doesn't matter how many obstacles

get in the way it doesn't matter how

many people tell you that you can't do

it just never give up because I can tell

you now if you just keep striving for

what you want you will get what you

deserve

never give up obviously that's a

motivational thing it's something that's

why people but when they turn it over I

want them to understand the author a

little bit so what will it say about

Donna I think it will say that I was a

very hardworking forward-thinking

bubbly motivated person who at the

moment even I just want to help so many

different people so yeah I just hope

that even just 2% of my energy rubs off

on people and and I think like after the

real life event that we've had this

weekend the amount of people that came

up to me and said oh my god you've made

this weekend amazing because of your

energy and your Drive and how positive

you are and it really is buzzed me off

I'm like I'll just feel like I'm on

cloud nine now so yeah I think

and that's the sort of lasting

impression I live on people and I hope

that's the lasting impression on people

because that's what I want to do I want

to make people feel like anything is

possible

absolutely I'm confident in well because

I think your infectious you remind me of

a good friend of mine sunny yes we yeah

we both know sunny day I've not met I've

not had the pleasure it's a meeting yeah

because unfortunately we've had to

rearrange a couple of meetings but yes

he's another individual I'm looking

forward

absolutely it's just good to be around

people who can lift you up especially in

a world where there's always negativity

flying around it's always good to be

around positive people yes just before

we close the show I want to give them

you an opportunity to let the listeners

connect with yourself where would you

tell him to come and find you yes oh I'm

everywhere at the moment very quickly

yeah luckily because I've already got a

business I know how it all works oh I've

already got an Instagram account

a compass property investment I'm on

Facebook compass property investment

also under my own name Donna Marie Pegg

anyone can contact me there I've got

email it can contact me for email so

yeah everything's up and running and

I've even bought my domain for my

website that will I'm sure be getting

set up within the next 12 months

yes so I'm I know how to be out there

and in your face that's Brad because

that's what I want I want the listeners

to be able to connect to you so would

you say Facebook as a first point of

course yes definitely Facebook I do far

more on Facebook than anywhere else so

they can find me through my personal

page Donna Marie peg and it's open to

the public now it never used to be a

compass property investment page which

is also active

it's got ongoing updates what projects

I'm working on I'll be doing live videos

on their videos if the properties show

you how my build team are getting on and

also I'm wanting to use it

also a little bit like a blog so you

know they so they can see what I'm doing

when I'm doing it how I'm doing it and

also what things I'm coming up against

so because I'm hoping to use it as a way

of teaching others the you know this is

the problem I've come up against this is

how I've got around it this is what I've

done these are the people that have

contacted this is the strategies are put

in place so I'm also teaching people to

the things that I and the self and I

know you've had problems along the way

but I hope that by sharing the problems

that I've had it will allow them to

either avoid the problems or deal with

those problems head-on because they've

had the information and the tools that

they need to get past it really okay so

what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna add all

of those links and the Instagram which I

never knew about so I'll add that as

well in the challenge I'm standing here

on Instagram my compass property

investment group because I was actually

looking this morning I think it was

before we started this interview I was

like is she on Instagram and I was

typing in Donna I couldn't find anything

no made from memories so made from

memories are on there my keepsake bears

and my property I haven't got a personal

page because I think it's him back on to

the gym and fitness and outfitting it's

something I imagine to go into possibly

setting up a business aimed towards

single parents so single moms single

dads and giving them a place that they

can have no reason to not go because

there's childcare in their package in

their membership package and I think

that's something that I'm going to aim

with my purse maybe set up a personal

Instagram and you know build that up

around the setting of her gym PT

sessions with mums single mums and

single dads to allow them the

opportunity to always focus on their

their health and their physical exercise

regardless of having children I love it

as if you haven't got enough to do

you're gonna sell

so everything else is being ran by

everybody else because this is what you

do you set the businesses or can you

come out of the business then it gives

me the time and the freedom to do the

other things that I love so much

no that's brilliant I think I certainly

recommend sit in a pair a personal one I

kind of do the same thing I have a

personal one I have a property one I

have a social enterprise or now I've

just I had a podcast one is also it's

almost my job that's right yeah find

your voice podcast yeah fantastic I'll

have to follow you back straight after

this Donna I just want to say a massive

thank you for taking time out of your

day to share your story I'm very

confident it's gonna inspire many many

people and to the listeners at home

thanks for listening

my absolute yeah thank you very much for

asking me I read and remember this

podcast is absolutely free so all we ask

in return is for you to share this with

a friend and drop us a 5-star review

over on iTunes have an awesome day

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Find your voice - Episode 11 - My Little Spartan - Michael V Kalisperas #11

Tagline: "Unleash your inner spartan..."

Apologies in advance for the sound quality on my end. Technical issues certainly played their role. But in true spartan fashion we kept going.

Michael Kalisperas life turned upside when his son was hit with a number of health conditions due to the neglect of a midwife. Sadly his beautiful son's life had changed which would have a knock on effect to Michael and his family.

However determined to not let this get him down, Michael continued to take action and let his excuses be a thing of the past. Realising his own excuses and rationales to avoid doing the hard stuff are so insignificant compared to the battles his son, and daughter face on a daily basis he ensured he crushed his goals.

A successful property investor, an author, a father and loving husband Michael story is one which touched my heart.

I reached out personally when I first heard his story because he genuinely changed my whole perception on the way I view my life or sometimes feel about my own situation.

I urge you all to ignore the sound defects, which I take full responsibility for and listen to this incredible man's story.

Thanks for listening

Free Audible book sign up:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21

Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Links to guest:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mikekalispera (Personal)

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EffusiveMarketing/ (Facebook group)

Michaels book: https://amzn.to/2RUZ7MS

#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice

[Music]

welcome to an episode of find your voice

a movement led by yours truly

Aren do a guy who has overcome

crippling anxiety adversity and

difficulty like so many of you in life

whose main goal now is to help you

combat your excuses take control of your

life write your own story and most

importantly find your voice so now

without further ado I welcome the host

of the show himself mr. Aren do what's

going on people thank you for tuning in

to another episode of find your voice my

name is Aren and as always I am the

host of the show so it's very rare that

I will stop a podcast especially at the

end of it just to kind of find out who

the individual is now I'm not saying I

don't get inspired or motivated by

people but generally speaking I'm just

kind of excited for the next podcast

however on this particular occasion a

few years ago I actually pause the

podcast towards the end of the show now

the only problem was I still had the

rest of my car journey to go so I was

kind of sitting in silence but it was

worth it because I really wanted to send

a message to this individual who I'm now

very grateful to have on my podcast and

I sent a message out to Michael to kind

of say thank you for the inspiration for

the motivation and more importantly I

hope things really do progress a little

bit easy for him I suppose in life and

speaking to him in this interview it's

difficult to say how things got easier

but one thing I can say is that he's

attitude is still the same he's

willingness to just go out there and

take action and not be a victim of his

circumstances is fantastic and that's

kind of what this podcast is about it's

about eliminating your excuses it's

about pay with the cards that you're

dealt with it's about literally thinking

okay this is what's happened now how do

I change this how do I go out into the

world and really find my voice and kind

of write my own story so I think I'm

going to leave it there

I just want to say before it starts I

did have some teething issues with the

Wi-Fi so we actually have to do a zoom

core where

which was fine for videos but

unfortunately some of the Sam when I was

editing it back wasn't quite as clear as

I had hoped because I was using my

laptop speaker as opposed to my mic that

I'm now recording this intro with so

hopefully you can bear with this because

I think more important than the sound

quality is the message and the story

behind Michael's life so without further

ado let's get this interview on the way

okay so I am here today with my course

obviously I want to say thank you

Michael for taking time out of your day

and there how are you doing today young

I'm very well thank you

good stuff good stuff so I think it's

important for the listeners to really

start to understand your story from

yourself so if you could please explain

how you progress through life yeah sure

progress through life as it seems like a

I'm 42 in them in literally a couple of

weeks time so it's February you know so

not long I'm gonna be 42 so other know

where to begin to go through the whole

life scenario but I've done quite a lot

of things I guess I could go back to

even school where I would say I was

probably not the best at school and not

really someone that was a you know in

these special sets as they call him

because I wasn't really interested in

school I didn't feel the vibe at school

I just didn't you know bond with the

teachers if I'm being honest but my life

completely changed where when I went to

college and you meet a different type of

teacher and different environment and it

was a bit more more creative more my

feeling you know what cuz I've always

come from a creative background I've

always been like an artist as such and

then I ended up pretty much ending up

going to to university ended up at de

Montford University and doing them so we

call multimedia design and marketing

basically which was basically it was

multimedia and I left there and a lot of

my friends ended up in the 3d world from

from from those sort of forces and ended

up her kind of like playing games for

Sony Playstation so I'm got a real while

yeah got really good friends I'm quite

well in that and then and I ended up

basically showcasing my work they they

asked for a few people to earn

to showcase their work at an exhibition

in London I think it was the Olympia I

can't remember the actual name of the

venue from being asked me so many years

ago and it was a big place and and they

had about I don't know six of us the

showcase our stuff so they picked people

that they wanted to showcase at this

show and it was just like a sort of like

greatest show and Khaitan story short I

got a head hunted by my boss back then

Charla Crais for the BBC ended up

working at the BBC basically doing

designs and websites for them and yeah

we touched on many many areas it was

within a group of people as a lot of

these companies are and so I was in the

designer group and basically design

websites ranging from Teletubbies to

crime watch Top Gear yeah yeah very very

very very very varied set of you know

even like you know History Channel maybe

we've seen so it was really it was a

department called fracture and learning

back at the time I think they've got rid

of the actual Department have something

else it's called a different name now

yeah and I was in and I didn't stay

there as long as I could of I decided to

leave I don't know what it was I come

from originally London actually

ironically but most of my life was

brought up in a small village called

Mulford where they've got the movin

hills and more than spring water and all

this kind of thing and it is a bit like

house on the prairie kind of thing and

as when I lived there I can't wait to

get out and you know escape and get into

University and all that sorcerer and and

meet people and but when you go to the

like concrete jungle and kind of think

on what god what is this AZ yeah yeah

it's kind of like we start realizing you

know my dad says it is well he lived in

them the most of his life I actually

came over here with nothing I mean he

literally had no money for shoes he

literally came with nothing from from

Cyprus and he started up and he's done

well for himself through hard graft and

he he said to me I will I won't go back

to London even if someone pays me you

know you

not because he doesn't like London

didn't love it you just just just found

a different vibe somewhere else simple

as that and I think for me it's the same

find different vibe I still go to London

often I'm going for five days literally

in the next day date in half I'm going

there for five days you're going in out

of business and meet people and you know

so yeah it's a it's I love it a little

bit but to live there it's a different

world he's in it

different world I lived there bought a

house on the outskirts of it was a was

well II did the Olympics actually now

really wish I didn't sell it I ended up

selling it because I got squatter's you

believe that I so that's my first true

investment and actually that property

now is worth about seven hundred

thousand I bought it about 115 I think

it was i sold actually actually i only

had it for a year and I sold it but I

made 40k profit in that point that's lo

que ya I can't complain and it was a but

still I can't complain absolutely my

point of doing it in keeping up was I

always I always thought back there I

used to watch location occasionally all

those programs and I always wanted to

build my own house I just wanted might

get buy land above my house and you know

obviously working in London you know

you've got to be pretty sorted you know

sign up and bloody you know 23 years old

or whatever was coming about what and

you know the reality is that to buy land

in London

absolutely from some guy in Morphin you

know

and yeah just bought that property no

the plan was to keep it but

unfortunately got screwed over yeah yeah

and I was kind of like I just lost the

will to live my eyes I have to get rid

so yeah ventually got rid of them and

they trashed it as well because although

I Franky refurbished it and they trashed

it which was really nice of them

but hey and it's one of those and it I'm

back in it now yeah back into property

well I wanted to do it quicker if I'm

being honest with you I bought my own

house back in Melbourne after I sold my

my house there

bought my own house back in well when

that was brick building you know

something come up whilst we're coming

out of the recession a boy at the

recession period which was the worst

thing can do I look because I'm so

paranoid I was stuck on a high

fixed-rate back of n so back then when

rates were going down to ridiculous

amounts I was on a 6% or something crazy

and it was but it was high right at the

wrong time but there was there's off at

this something there's nothing better

than having a peaceful kind of like you

know as long as you can work bloody hard

did all the hours of possibly do to

cover it and literally you like working

and everything was going straight into

that pretty much but I truly believe you

know if you can get through the hard

times that you know the green the greens

growing you know absolutely is not

growing yeah so no it was a it was worth

it it was worth it and there's my my

first house and I say proper house 5

bedroomed detached properties in it yeah

lots of people of them you know done

things with you know the great things

but at the time that was the right thing

absolutely how so some wonderful thing

isn't it yeah absolutely

so that's took you back into property I

used still actively a property investor

knows that where you kind of call

yourself or ya know it's a bit weird

because I mean I think digress in that

last question I'm I got back into

property after my son was made severely

disabled basically we basically had my

beautiful son born

Vasili born completely healthy came home

with him completely normal and then a

mistake by the Midwife

not following certain procedure

basically ended up with a catalogue of

mistakes not just the Midwife we forgave

them publicly in the newspapers which is

pretty damn hard to do because you know

there was blatant mistakes I mean when

you go to the report that they did it

was like there was several mistakes and

it basically you know from having a

beautiful child born healthy coming home

you know healthy we've got a child now

that's severely disabled trapped in his

hot and wheelchair pretty much trapped

in his body and declared blind deaf with

spastic cerebral Z so I mean he's real

control is his taste

you know and that was hard we were told

he was blind to completely weave and

sort of like therapy and all sorts of

stuff we research in America and and you

know not too long ago we had some

reports saying that he's they put some

probes on his head and the reckon he

could see now and that really just about

that he was completely deaf but we

painful taking a decision while they're

young to put them through horrible

operations but but we put him through an

operation that has given him like the

robotic sound if you know I mean so ok

he's got something called Cochlear's

where they kind of drill into the head

they put a magnet processor goes on that

and then they put some probes or

whatever goes straight down into the

cochlea and now that goes back to a

processor and so he can hear like and

the best way I describe it to people is

why we've been described we've been told

it is Americans used to talk yeah that's

how he can hear pretty much so he'll

pick some things up certain spectrum

some sounds he might not be able to pick

up but um generally you know but he

reacts to me he knows me his mom he

knows that's the love it definitely

responses without that just give me an

example but the amount of light therapy

they put on him is basically that you

put it had he his blood was poisoned

pretty much had to do platoons but they

the way they can sort of negate that

that the increase of bilirubin which

helped cause brain damage was put him

under the lights and they did that for a

lot of premature children actually but

but they put him under the lights and he

was that much under the lights that he

actually looked like a black child and

he was you know you know at work with

olivey skin but generally kind of white

you know but he look like a black child

and you know I will never forget and

I've got him on my phone I mean

literally I've just got him on my phone

and it's a reason to have a picture of

him on my phone like this the reason why

people think it's probably weird why do

I have him as a screen saver as my child

with all these tubes in him you know up

his nose on his arms everywhere probes

everywhere and looking it's like

completely you know

okay but the reality is I'm really proud

of him that's why that's his that's his

defining moment you know they survived

that and no matter how much crap has

happened since in the last almost seven

years literally I look at that photo and

when I'm feeling it and I've had a lot

of crap come on trust me within a lot of

locals when I'm really feeling that

thinking how dare I even complain you

know I complain this kid has gone

through everything you know and he

steals your perception and kills

everything that is your lifee absolutely

yeah yeah I'm even using that now on my

diet I'm on I want to call it a

lifestyle change a lifestyle yeah I love

that change but I've lost like almost I

was it I was 17 pound 17 stone - alright

and I put on weight free depression 17

pounds - - and with just over three

weeks on and I'm I'm 1510 now so baby

it's a big drop for a short period time

and that's because of him you know

because I just think I thought screw

this I can't I can't keep killing myself

absolutely but it's a property yeah I'd

say I'd say that was my defining moment

I needed to do something to help my son

and to have my family well we're in

hospital whilst all that stuff was going

on with transit bills coming in needed

to pay and what people don't show you is

you know obviously you don't have the

support you know the supports maybe late

Iran after a while a little bit of

support here in there so it's charitable

support you know if you get a case

through negligence then you get support

later on down the line

but even then you've got support where

people assume or you know you thought

you got proper support your support so

it's actually like that last night you

know I had about four hours sleep which

is standard now most people don't get

that they think that's weird but that's

standard for us and like we've got with

three carry Shaw so you know my wife and

I cover in that you know

I got full-time care 24/7 well he's

supposed to Apple we've never had

full-time 24 not for seven years it's

just impossible it's just we struggle to

get people you know what you get it it's

like it's like yeah unfortunately our

home has become a business in terms of

like it's a care home you know but you

know what in the last year he's been

really stable so you know it's taking a

lot more there's less hospital visits

and stuff like that so you know he's

been really really stable and you know

he sees making massive massive strides I

mean he was declared blind he was

declared death

we know he can see now he's using on I

guess how much he can see we don't know

I truly believe it's with the therapy we

did with that research we did with

Christine Ramon which basically involved

putting a torch in the eyes and

switching on and off watch the people

open and grow he'd never met a flinch to

talk through the light and he could

flinch and then so at night me and my

wife throughout the night with taking

turns and just through four hours

you know switched it has to be tungsten

not a blue like they can screw through

the eyes er it has to be like those

old-fashioned boulders you know yellow

ones and yeah and you just watch his

body so he's like my sergeant is I I

recite which open and grow grew and

closing and and yeah off and then

eventually after months of doing that

once I think is my wife in the in the

bathroom she was he wasn't sleep and

seals up with him and she was just doing

it bless her persevering on and she's

just called me and I'm not military went

in there and the lights were all off I

put the lights on and I put the lights

on because you had a torch and he

changed the hell Wow

and she goes let's see he did it to you

as well I'm like wow that's crazy

so ya know it's mine it's mine so is

that and then again he was fed through

the tube and we retrained him through a

like a milk bottle he couldn't move his

mouth off he couldn't in his brain

damage basically he's brain damaged but

and we used to squeeze the teat you know

and then move his bottom of his chin

with our finger just dissolved so get

him into a sort of like you know any now

he takes it takes food from the weekend

from Holly is it

it's it's been hard it's been hard man

but you know perseverance what can I say

and that's what it is and I think it's

difficult because obviously I can't

relate to anything that you've gone

through in that situation but using that

as an example so my foster siblings

say pastor Simmons there were initially

foster siblings we went through special

guardianship so three of my siblings

have had similar what's gonna call it

disabilities growing up as well so for

instance the older one he's got a mental

age which is less than half his age

we've got one who's on the autistic

spectrum yeah and when they came into my

life a little bit which is why I

resonate with your story a bit is it

change my whole perception of life and

everything that I used to mourn about

the silliest things now I'm grateful for

and I know you know we all sending out

quotes every single day and we're all

trying this positive beacon of light but

I genuinely had them within my followers

as well similar to yourself and it's

near when I'm there feeling crappy or

feeling sorry for myself because I don't

know the car tires flat or something

something daft perspective but these

kids are finding them much harder battle

them then I'm having to fight and yes

it's commendable because I don't want to

make this about property because anyone

that wants to know my calling properties

new fantastic and you've got podcasts

out for that and you can reach out to

him afterwards but this is more about

you as a person who's taken this use you

change the perception you've dealt with

the cars that you are handed it's not

fair I can't explain only thing anyone

can explain why weird out certain cards

but all we can do is play with them the

best way that you can a new kind of I

know you very quickly scaled up after

that and maybe that's because your back

was against the wall I suppose and yeah

you spy on me I mean there's a my

favorite quote and I promote it in one

of my groups could effusive entrepreneur

it's called it's from Jack London and

it's a it's basically about you know

playing a bad hand well basically yeah

and there's an ace of cards you know ace

of hearts on the card you can you can

always play a bad hand well and so

basically don't even if you you can do

feels like on them on the outside of it

you might feel like you're losing it's

how you play or how you react to that

that counts so example is in property

is I mean add a commercial to

residential big one

I'm Birmingham it's 15 rooms in the end

and it was my my first commercial and my

second project in property and I pretty

much jumped the gun a bit but we have

everything complying at us literally and

it was really stressful and at the same

time as going through moments or like

I've been for my own health care

problems I was going through cancer

scare myself and there's a lot going on

obviously my son and you know dealing

with deal certain builders oh my god

nightmare and getting things wrong and

it was just you know massive learning we

had contamination issues we had we had

all sorts of problems just cracking on

but you know again look at my my son on

my photo on my on my phone and I talk

about my son but I actually used my son

as a metaphor for my family yeah because

my kids that my children Ellie Maria two

girls they're just as amazing Maria for

instance she's actually disabled as well

but people don't know it and she's got

some good Zubaz syndrome where middle

part of her head the brains not fully

formed and really rare and it can happen

by being sheared and my bum or I've been

shitty stressed at birth and it can be

it can happen from genes and all

something that it's not our genes

because we checked them and you know it

basically she's got autistic issues she

could go blind that she grows older

because the protein doesn't protect her

eyes and all this kind of stuff but she

could have been worse I mean apparently

they're not supposed to have balance and

can't walk but she she fires us all I

mean she was she was born and had was

shaken her lace and Eliza liked she had

nystagmus and head wouldn't stop shaking

so she's trained a brain to you know to

planets her eyes and and she's learned

you know to keep straight and she she's

talking to normal school she's doing

everything she's you know she's only

four or five now and she's doing really

really well and I she's got little

tantrum tantrums but not doesn't quite

understand certain stuff but I mean I'd

say but now she's still more behaved

some children I know that haven't got

nearly so I class

I think I don't sort of put out there

just because she's not disabled really

you know he is on paper but she's not so

for me you know it's almost like my son

was brought there to sort of like help

us deal with the shit that's to come if

that makes sense my thought was like

that and we didn't have no problems

before and all the stuff for the

property stuff I don't I think what

would have hit was hard but going

through sheer hell you know when my son

really sort of prepared us a lot for a

lot of stuff oh it came I understand

that but I think sometimes it's funny

because I don't wish anyone to really go

through pain it's not yeah yeah but that

makes me feel sad when I know people are

going through pain but sometimes I feel

people need to experience some level of

adversity you know not to really find

focus and change their life as well and

as much as I'm trying to tell people

don't wait for that wake-up call for

example don't wait for to find out that

your child may need extra care for

example or you've been hit with the

illness get out there and do it now and

I suppose it's easier said than done

because if nobody's having to live the

life Safe Routes that you've lived for

example yeah well like my siblings they

don't really have that agency my it's

frustrating I get frustrated because I'm

like we are so blessed like beyond means

even what we're doing now being able to

communicate how we eyes Isis anything

yeah absolutely I mean there's so much

horrible stuff out there in the world

and it's just you know it's crazy to you

know to to not be grateful for what

we've got and and and you know when you

see people that are grateful when

they've got little and we've all been

there we've all been them in some way in

our minds we've been at the greatest of

lows and it could be from spitting out

with your boyfriend or girlfriend

it could be splitting up with you know

you know a JV partner I don't know the

point a point is you know at that point

it could be serious the most absolute

low you know you could have health

issues cancer issues family there's all

sorts we've had that as well in this

period and that n is it's not great it's

not great but at the same time you know

I've always said one of my sayings is

like you know we will never you know

we'll never

I don't get my words up today well we're

never given a Golden Path

it was never we never no one promised us

anything you know and so and so like if

you want something you've got to go and

get it you either fail or you success

fall you know and if you're successful

great if you fail get up and do it again

and keep trying that and even if you've

got no money or anything there's always

away you know and you know what worst

comes to the worst I'm dying from

something it's if you've got your mind

in the right mind and you think you know

what I was conceived that's amazing I

lived a few years that's amazing if you

get your mind in the right mind you

still be grateful even when you're dying

you know I mean and we've seen other

witness people like that you know yeah I

love that mindset you just touched on

something and make sure we add it at the

end of the show you've got a group you

just say yeah I've got I've got a group

it's called the effusive entrepreneur

okay so anything about stuff like these

entrepreneurs is in the name but about

your mindset as well well it's actually

I do marketing I do it mine only a

marketing training and that's like a

little group I actually put more effort

in my closed group which is people in my

arm in a number the thing for me is like

I literally had a VA that was helping me

out on that side of things

and she literally went AWOL live just

randomly went AWOL and I don't know what

happened I really don't know but she's

from Philippines

it just went AWOL so yeah looking at a

decent VA at the moment I think I found

one

we'll see how it goes but yeah now I

need to push push put more engagement in

that group from being honest with you

okay yeah I know it's a great group I've

got loads of people about I think about

300 people in the group yeah I do

engagement but not as much as I like

I've got a couple of other groups have

got one called it's magnetic marketing

system is another group it's just

basically a really secret one group

where it's just the people that I train

arm property marketing getting leads

about business and all that kind of

stuff an investment it's a small very

small group at the moment I've got a few

people that you guys know some really

great people successful people right in

there and yeah

so that's going really well gonna be

open that up again soon um yeah just

I've got my event in London that's

causing a lot of bloody Wow yeah my son

right that's marketing again it's going

to be we've got we've got a Khadija the

apprentice star she's gonna be there

we've got a YouTube expert you know he's

helped Samuel Leeds get from 50,000 to

150,000 something a lot you know he's

talking it's all about marketing it's

gonna be it's gonna be awesome and can

fit about 480 people at the Marriott

Hotel in London it's my event big

pressure on me it's only 16th and 17th

of March this year prices start at 97

pounds but you get actually what we're

doing now we get got this program

actually that I'm affiliated to and

we're going to be offering people free

access to this program which is you know

pretty amazing yeah any other ticket

prices which basically covers their

costs on the bottom ticket easily and

basically they could create landing

pages you know can forgive the email

system within it so if you want to build

your own website that's the and

templates in there so they get that for

free

I haven't launched it yet but you've

heard it here first on our I'm just

gonna say you were saying your nervously

I'm sure you don't need any more

motivation than just to look at your

phone before that exactly exactly that

may be right yeah okay absolutely that I

see it I mean I guess that the

nervousness is the fact that you know

it's a it's a big thing you'd love to

fill it out you know you care about it

care about I've got 15 speakers and many

come from abroad there's people like you

know top and marketers making 40 50

grand a month you know it's crazy but a

figure of guy there

their partnership guys and and and you

know it's yeah it's it's this pressure

you know but it's great it's great now

I'm like you know I'm one of these like

you know it's easy for me to go easy

coming to go you know what you've got to

try these things what does Rob Moore say

don't the risk you know basically

absolutely yeah yeah I'm sure

well yeah I'm so it's all quite a few

tickets not enough but we've only just

launched so you know it's a it's

something we pushing out there look

forward to it make sure you media

information is

after this and I'll send you a signature

notes it's automated I said it put a lot

of people it's good for you know coaches

anyone wanting to launch an event anyone

that's in marketing wants to do a bit

more marketing on their property and get

some really great bubbly gonna get some

tools for it

fantastic okay brilliant so you actually

doing like more stuff than I knew about

you I know I know of course he's a

full-time dad and I thought that would

be taking up all your time but here you

are making your own events and

everything so another question then so

you're successful in what you've done in

terms of the property you're doing a

great job with your children and your

family so what's the day like from the

moment you wake up tell you got like 17

or yeah I bet I am

I wake up about four or five in the

morning right sometimes going to bed

late unfortunately but it's not my

choice no that's not by choice that's

actually by habit now that's initially

it wasn't by choice now if I'm being

honest with you the reality is I could

sleep a little bit longer but I've just

it's just become me now if I can get

sleep and I accidently sleep through

that because all exhausted or whatever

and and actually doing this diet it's

really helping me so if my son doesn't

disturb me and doesn't wake up and that

you know I could easily go into 7:00

you know easy yeah well it's it's just

um it's just nice you know I actually

get a good rest when I go to like events

you know you know so but my schedule is

basically get about four or five I I

always turn ask me why it's really

strange but I always always come

downstairs I eat a banana

randal cake I'm not banana man

my first thing I do a banana I go to my

son I give him a really big kiss because

he's exhaust get ready has his dinner

and he's get ready for his he's like

specialist school a given big kiss the

girls are still in bed and my son's lot

obviously awake and then I start looking

at my schedule for the day I never

follow it just to me

okay he's organized work just look at it

yes I'm aware of it because what happens

when I start creating a website or

landing page for someone

or final for someone to help convert you

know get people to event or through

Facebook ads or whatever I'm doing for

people I end up like getting engrossed

in the computer and some way it's gonna

be supposed to be an hour it ends up

being longer so so setting time because

for me doesn't and and what I do is I

just make sure I do the stuff and and I

make sure I do it at whatever cost and

so I do I literally do that and I try

and mix it with the children like I have

the computer here in the living room mo

more often on by my bed upstairs on my

bed believe in our it's not the best

comfortable thing to do here because of

the reception's better there you know a

billion you get piece if the kids are

kind of well-behaved watching TV I like

to kind of come here in that but if it's

too noisy I just can't I just can't over

this I've got like a an outbuilding as

well that I converted for a training

suite and I've got an office there that

needs a little bit more finishing off

but it's pretty much burn so I'm gonna

start and can start utilizing that more

just gets a bit cold I've got the heat

is on there in that but it's like you go

warm it up for like an hour or so before

and today I can't be asked you know just

a lot stay upstairs on my bed and just

do my work you know not a great thing to

do but now I've got a proper PT involved

with my exercise we're gonna make it

that part of my schedule something to do

this year try and get you know not just

use the lose the the fat actually gets

physically more stronger and you know

getting care scheduling for that at

least I think for me there's anything on

schedule that I want to do I'm pushing

my marketing efforts because a lot

people while so I've been my property

journey you know I've had a few podcasts

and interviews and so on I've not really

promote it'll push what I what I trained

in you know design and marketing and and

I've had a few people approached me over

the years from property world and it's

like I've helped them massively I've

helped people like were there you know

they might have a 399 ebook and I make

them 15k within a couple of months in

just Facebook ads but

by promoting a book you know and it's

it's I know I'm good at what I do but I

don't

and III this is my biggest flaw I don't

like selling I don't like selling and

I'm one of rob mores mentors and I've

signed up to his thing cuz I got really

good at helping people value their

selves helping them realize their worth

and he said something recently he said

he said something about when people say

oh I don't need to sell myself I don't

need yeah I don't need to sell myself

people come to me that's me that's me

man I hate to admit it it's like I get I

get work it just comes to me right but

actually imagine what I'd do if I should

start promoting myself you know leave it

so much on the table yeah I'm leaving so

much on the table almost I almost don't

give a crap because I'm designing my own

life you know I mean yeah at the same

time if I really want to get to my goal

my goal is actually to eventually be

able to afford to buy an Ironman suit

for my son some sort of give him the

independence thought we know that's

gonna cost millions and if I want to get

to that goal at that you know at that

point then I'm gonna have to do better

than this sort of like you know just you

know happy happy that enough works

coming my way and people using me that

way I think I should be you know

professionalizing myself a little bit

more and and valuing myself more to the

point that I should promote myself it's

just that there's a nervousness of

promoting yourself I mean I think you've

probably seen it amongst the the the

forums and that people kind of think

your guru rising yourself or you know

like oh god who's another person

thinking a minute I had a business

before hello you know these people

business before and what you do in

business is you promote a market that's

what you're supposed to do you know

they're almost I allow myself to be

affected by other people's judgments

which you can't do even myself I mean I

promote myself a lot more recently

especially in the last 12 months in

terms of like my own brand and me as a

person that initially was the hardest

thing I've ever had to do and the whole

point of like you need to know your

Worth and stuff

we were spoken to me I thinking one of

my first jobs when I was young as a

project manager and my manager at the

time because I came out of me

you know when they ask you what's

special about you give three things as

an icebreaker I was like nothing I'm

just I'm just me yeah he told me

afterwards because he he listed like a

few things that he found special about

me and long story short he was that if

you don't blow your own trumpet nobody

else is gonna in this world because of

the way the moment is and I don't know

you always resonated with me and it

still took me the best part of seven

eight years later on to real stuff I'm

thinking if I can just do this and not

really worry about the engagement and

kind of just be like look I've got a

message here I want to share it it comes

from the heart it's honest if you

resonate with it fantastic if you don't

not a problem so it was difficult for us

because they used to send it off and

you're kind of looking at your phone

thinking what's gonna happen and now

it's kind of like I just Lars a and

people ask me that how did you write

content and I say I don't like really

write contact a kind of document like my

life kind of things like you've done

something a property I'll speak about it

if it's health and fitness I'll speak

about it if it's like an interesting

meeting I'll just speak about it and

hopefully I always try and give people

some sort of tangible yeah information

that they can take away I think you

should be that because I didn't know you

were doing all these amazing crazy

wonderful things yeah a bit here in

there I do you know I mean I'll get my

flap out on flipping social media just

to really put myself available to the

world you know that I'm gonna lose

weight and I say I wrote i put a vision

I put watch this miraculous journey of

this of me this is anyway and I've done

it in three weeks already there's no

ultimate accountability

you know ridicules you that you're gonna

be it's embarrassing

a whole lot the source stuff but at the

same time you know for the first time in

my life we have tried different diets

since what happened to my son I put a

lot of weight on the first time in my

life I'm facing it head-on so yeah oh

you and look at my fat mass yeah I'm

here

absolutely even my addictions and I call

them addictions because that's all I've

ever eat and then it's like I literally

get urges for this stuff isn't my port

my secrets of this diet is I'm facing it

and I call it the no BS lifestyle diet

okay basically I put Pringles fizzy

drinks and I've got a packet of Haribo

outside of my bed

oh no Quinn okay right and I sleep with

them by the side of my bed and I wake

that with the word we

because I had to face my addictions yeah

yeah and it's a bit like that in

property when people would like go to

training training training training

training training training training

training training the good mentors were

saying you got to do you've got to just

you know and and I you know I'm a course

drinking I'm proud of it I'm proud of it

I'm a course drunk eating for two main

reasons number one it's always good even

if you already know the stuff to go over

again it's good to get reminders right

but number two and this is the biggest

one

mentors need Mentors even if you're

whatever level you are and all my

mentors have got mentors themselves you

know I mean Nick James is mentorship

I've been under song azuki's mentorship

I mean Rob Moore's mentorship you know

the reality is and I I mentor other

people myself yeah and I truly believe

that you you've got to really be what's

the word humble enough to want to keep

learning absolutely and there's a lot of

people that are arrogant and feel like

the only courses well good for you happy

you do not everyone wants to work that

way I actually love people right I love

networking I love people but I love

genuine people that I've got integrity

they're true to them certainly I really

can't stand people that fake I hate it

and I can sense them a mile away and and

I always when I talk about marketing's

be true to yourself just be yourself and

people attract to you and a good friend

of ours Camilla does the sa stuff I

would say so name

can we look oh yeah she's exactly great

and I mentor mentoring in marketing as

well but it's usually just started to be

fair and and you know she's a really

great she's doing massive should be

really successful and she's doing it by

just being herself she's been brilliant

you know and you know we all learn off

each other I've learned a lot of Simon's

uchi I've learned a lot of Rob more I've

learned a lot of Nick James you know

I've got another mentor that is you know

definitely need him because he's like

he's like a sales machine he really

knows he's you know he's good he's got a

product called open with a closing

doesn't do its Leslie it's just like you

know you want my product is I'm worth

this much and you know so this is what

it is and he's named my Elwell really

great guy amazing guy getting hired by

some really top guys at the moment

because he's easy really is you know

legend or what he does and so yeah I

want to constantly improve I want to be

I want to be my ultimate self before I

die and I know more than a lot of people

know life it's bloody short man

it really is severely because of your

experiences yeah absolutely yeah

yeah I think you touch on quite a few

things with your whole I'm looking

forward to it but I actually lose 42

pounds in seven and a half weeks myself

so what I want to do boxing never go to

the gym and I was a think was about 24

at the time and there was like seven

year-olds two ten-year-olds very cheeky

little kids and I'd to go for a room

with him so I told the kids because then

I was all the way and I could I couldn't

run more than like 200 meters and all I

could hear him was saying come on old

man come on Batman and all these kind of

like really literally me facing it but I

took I took it personally I was like

I'll get you back and then with a love

working working my ass off basically for

the next two months it really really

helped and there is no magic formula to

anything whether it's property whether

it's health and fitness whatever it is

literally you just got to go and do it

and then if you you learn a little bit

you pivot I hope that's called it on my

uncle my own podcast called Mike drops

get okay I guess my drop is call mine

yet close and I've interviewed a couple

of a top level you know we're talking

really high level guys in America my

calls another guy called les Evans and

11 there's Evan said a thing to me he

said he said um he said people think

there's an easy route to success but

it's all hard work even when it doesn't

look that way and he said even if you're

people just speak in the thing they're

just speaking they're successful from

speaking and

and he's brilliant at that is amazing

amazing me he's gonna you know he's he's

advised people in the White House he's

done all sorts he's just bum a lot the

guys absolutely legend and he's had

become a really good friend of mine and

and he was saying to me you know I

remember it was on the lines of like I

remember when you said pedal stall

people like that look big and famous and

he became himself but in the end they're

just flipping normal people and what

people don't understand is that you know

they want to laugh you know they want to

get on you know they don't to be used

and and and there's a lot of truth in

that and there and there's a lot of

people do assume they also die they

connected that way back I used to give

him a lot of my time for free and in the

end I ended up blocking him and this is

where you learn about time for money and

it wasn't yeah it was like you every

every conversation about a heart I've

tough your love to have your lives love

to out Matt me yeah I'd live in a

flipping shed and have my son healthy

you won't want my life trust me it's not

great but you know it's not as great as

you think it is you know and and it was

just constant constant constant constant

like you know like MV and it wasn't the

nice he wasn't moving forward is that I

want to get 200 houses within two years

and he was like really unrealistic yeah

all right 10x it I you know go for it

you know I hate that comment that word

clinics it got you know I love what

Grant Cardone is about I just hate the

10x it that side of it not because I

don't believe in it I believe in it

it's just that I see if thrown around

too freely now and and like by people

that could potentially really screw

their lives over if they do try to 10x

it you know and where they feel that you

know they've been inspired and they can

just rush ahead you've got to get the

education in I don't care what you know

you got to build the foundations he's

got to build the foundations and and

then and then to exit first you know and

then check out what you know check out a

flavor for it and then check out what X

might be you know I don't like the 2x

you know I'm not doing us a great point

I think we're in the

society obviously with the whole

Instagram highlight reels and nobody's

really posting stuff that is like their

bad days of supposed and I supposed

indirectly I don't know how but when I

was getting a bit of traction in like

the property groups it was because I was

just Oakley admit all my mistakes up

something I was just documenting again

like listen I am probably the worst guy

a property talking three years ago I was

a look I made this mistake I've made

this and people resonated with that so

indirectly actually helped 9% of the

time it is lychee everyone showing their

best date on a highlight reel and I

think we get that thing and then people

read the secret and it's all this

wishful thinking and it's like listen it

is goes back to what you said earlier do

it do it you've just got to face it and

do it just exactly I mean madness you're

spot on and the crazy thing is is that

I've been exactly the same I've done

podcasts and I've been honest just

straight on you know I'll straight up

with out loud you didn't want to hear it

we didn't want to hear it I'm like you

know and and cut long story short the

the realities that they won't value in

my time but I wasn't violent valuing it

I can't blame them it's actually

something that I get a trouble from from

my wife so I'm always trying to help as

many people as I can so I'm always

having these one-hour coffees that going

to like one and a half hours or

conversation 15 minutes or less yeah and

then at the end of its like I've got no

time to spend with my wife for example

yeah because I'm just trying to help but

then most of those people they'll come

back with pretty much the same kind of

questions or concerns two months later

having done nothing

you're almost yourself and I think I'm

similar to you in that respect which is

there's some great points that you made

days that I need to start my new my time

a little bit there yeah not so much I

know I need to charge for example it's

on the faith basis that is this person

really going to do it and what I've

started doing as of the last two days is

taking calls on the way to the gym so

I'm like you've got ten minutes with me

far away I'll kind of give you

everything I've got I know it's working

okay because it kills that time to the

gym so yeah absolutely yeah it's not

eating a weigh-in time that you which is

valuable time is valuable time time I've

said entire book emergency we have you

know in the lane if if if people don't

value your time

mmm bug you you spell as I and why work

with people that don't value you they're

just picking and sponging your brain

because they can't be asked again spend

the money on the courses and the

education and or go through the grit in

the action that you've gone through in

the pain that you've gone through they

just want to just you know squeeze your

sponge brain and get all the bloody Evo

out you know those people it doesn't

make us a you know this is not a you

know I'm holy than now I'm perfect I I

know my share you know this has just

just been honest with the situation you

know so I absolutely love helping people

I really do it's just some people just

don't value your time enough so okay

we're gonna change gears a little bit

we've spoken about adversity which is

one of the main drivers like in your

life and I don't wish it on anyone to go

through the same kind of stuff but we

all go through something what I would

ask you though is a different question

is about fear so it's probably a common

question but I want to know what is your

biggest fear but I want to stop and take

away what I think he's gonna be your

first answer from doing some Daryl Brown

tactics here so you can't mention your

your children or your wife in this

scenario but what is your biggest fear

as as yourself my biggest fear for

myself is not accomplishing my dreams

okay and my dreams are actually yes they

are to be able to get enough money to

afford certain things from my family and

I'm not supposed to mention them but my

actual my dreams are to actually be

successful and proud enough to know that

you know that boy in school that was at

loss was crap had to have extra

education was themed

you know classes dyslexic really smashed

it regardless he's not I mean and and so

you know for me to start that would

really be probably my biggest fear stop

him from for me I really I really want

to get aspire to inspire is what I want

to do right and the way you inspire is

by doing great things and and those

great things could be I give a lot to

charity myself I donated just over four

thousand

pounds Christmas do recently you know

and and before that I've donated loads

and even my book my little spot and that

I've written for my son all the all the

money from that including the cost of

making it which most people don't do

they has gone to different charities you

know everything wasn't a lot you know

because these costs of these profits

carry yeah yeah and even before that

even you know I've just constantly you

know every year given in some form to

charity and the point is this like it's

not because I'm you know I want to be

seen as you know are what passive and uh

and people that know with me will know

this is true so I could be a property

meet in and we're walking up the road

for me laughter and I'll just give

twenty pounds of baby homeless man I

don't record it I don't you know but

people that would mean no it yeah I

don't do it for you know I know in

London wherever I am if I see someone

I'll donate and you know and I don't

care if they're they look like they're

druggies well it's not at the end of the

day I because I'm not gonna judge you

know they can do what the hell they want

with it

you know I want to give if I've got it

you know and if it helps them it helps

them I just get I don't need to promote

it or anything that but the reality is

although ironically there's a promote in

this podcast estrangement but honest is

like where we're and it's just merely

answering your question you know my goal

is to aspire to inspire to inspire and

if I can do that for my kids and other

people and great you know and and if it

means like you know giving when you

haven't even got it and I've done that

and and you know it's like then you know

you do you leaving some sort of trail of

legacy wait wait people might not

remember me you know but you know

someone might you know yeah I don't know

but at the end of the day it's strange I

haven't made haven't made it in in my

mind a successful property developer or

marketing agency in my mind I've got a

long way to go but I'll also at the same

time I don't want to have a lot you know

I want to be comfortable I don't want to

have like the two hundred thousand

living rooms and what

acquiring to do well you know I really

don't I don't envy people like that when

I see people doing well I'm like good on

you I'm yeah I really I never had the

jealous I never I just truly think good

on you the ones I don't like are the

ones that do it and they're they're

horrible assholes you know I mean these

people win don't they yeah yeah okay

fantastic no I know that that makes

sense I think I'm very similar as well

in relation to what you saying there and

just on that analogy song I've had going

off on a bit of a tangent here people

who are quite charitable but they'll

never give to somebody who maybe they

assume is gonna have alcohol and drugs

or something and my philosophy has

always been I mean growing up and the

way my mom's always talking is just give

whatever you can give but and the base

is that maybe maybe your donation that

they will just change that person's

perspective or life and providing you're

not just throwing it at home and maybe

you can just give it a try contact will

have a good day or something so I just

give him that lift that they need all

just to keep him going for another day

so I'd always urge people whatever you

can give this absolutely give but yeah I

can't imagine you being somebody's gonna

be taking a selfie while you're doing

that I mean and the truth is I should be

you know utilizing it for you know but

at the same time it's it's not it

doesn't sit right

you know it doesn't sit right so you've

heard the buzzer it's going off so what

I'm gonna do now is but Mike with three

spaces for the next 60 seconds and he's

all I do basically whatever the first

answer comes into your head please give

me that one and you ready mate I'm cool

I'm ready okay we're gonna start in

three two one

okay the ability to fly or be invisible

fly money or fame fame singing or

dancing singing Netflix our YouTube

YouTube Marvel or DC are Marvel easily

would you rather know how you were dying

or when you would i how love or money

love books or movies i love books

actually if you could sit with one

person in the world for an hour who

would it be I would love to sit with

Donald Trump to figure out why the hell

looking weird and

go ahead going on I just I'm just

perplexed and also kind of yeah it's a

weird one

that we interested yeah you're worse be

a growing up fighters actually okay and

finally what is your biggest addiction

my biggest might what was my biggest

addiction was slight wrinkles and yeah

wrinkles my biggest addiction at the

moment is learning junkie for learning

and just some Pringles because I'm a

Pringles fun as well what's your

favorite cocktail sorry I don't get me

thinking the next one's on reflection

yeah we've spoken about this earlier

we've spoken about hindsight being a

wonderful thing how you can teach you to

get to where you are quicker easier or

with less heartache for example but

knowing what you know now and with your

life experiences and obviously your

mindset now if you could go back to a

time maybe when you were younger maybe

going through college or school and you

can just whisper something in your ear

knowing how life would pan out for you

and just to kind of maybe motivate or

inspire that young Michael what would

you say I would say you're able to do

anything you put your mind to because I

really believe growing up because I was

told it you know my teacher I didn't

have a good attention span and my

teacher must teacher said to me oh

you're gonna end up as a glassblower she

was old fashioned herself and most

people didn't really kind of connect

with her if I'm being honest with you

but that really thought I thought what

the hell you know kind of thing to say

that just because I you know and I

wasn't interested in her lessons I just

would and again it goes down to what we

read in property marketing people could

be connected you know whatever you do in

it's about attention and connection

right you've got to get the attention to

be noticed and you've got to connect so

if you're going to get an investor to

come to you you've got to get the

attention you've got to do that one way

or another and then you've got to

connect and you can only connect by

being you because long term wise you

know it's a marriage you know it's

simply that absolutely and it's the

easiest thing to do be yourself rather

than trying be someone else off man do

not have some music but I see people my

god and I just cringe and I know that it

makes me cringe

I see people they've been I

I won't even touch into it too much but

there's people that mean there's a

particular person that's training the

same people when they're like they're

following the same moves and everything

in their acting the same as this person

exactly in every way and it's a it's

squiggly it's creepy and windy it is and

the problem with it is as well if you're

copying somebody else you're almost

relying on them to do something you know

the few to follow see as a policy if you

just make your own journey and write

your own story I've got one thing where

I've got respect for these people that's

all for helping them is they've already

taken a step at least they're getting

themselves out of the shell and they do

something but but seeing exact copies

it's just yourself yourself it's like

have you ever seen those live videos

when they're sat there quietly for like

flipping five minutes I'm like I don't

like it I just it's just great I'm like

I just talk shit for a bit I say to

people okay just talk shit wait to

people come on

[Music]

and that's not always like to ask my

guess is if in 150 years time and you

are no longer here but all that exists

is a book and it's about your life and

somebody's walking past and they pick up

this book what would the blurb say and

also what would be the title of the book

well already written it it's called my

little spot on the globe

it says embrace your struggle to find

your strength and pretty much what we

talked about today and and I it has a

sub heading saying unleash your lip in a

spa and because we've all gotten in this

part and and what I mean by that it's

not a judgment thing on Spartans and

while it's just the fact that you know

against the odds it's a metaphor

it's against the odds they know they're

gonna die but they're fighting all they

can yeah and that's the point at the end

of the day we're all gonna freakin die

but let's just see what we can do you

know that's all we can do but you know

you know the end of a that's why I don't

mind helping people as much as I can

because that you know any bit of help

you get out there is what

nice absolutely Granta our future looks

already out yes my little spy Amazon

yeah best seller international

bestseller there you go is it oh wow

yeah i 100% put that in the bottom of

and the show notes as well alright it's

actually the first time somebody's

already answered my question and done my

question but what I always like to ask

people is there is somewhere they can

contact you now I know you're doing

amazing things all over the world in

networking marketing property you're an

author as well there's one place and I'm

just gonna limit it to one but I will

obviously add everything else afterwards

what is the number one place that you'd

prefer base for Facebook Facebook I'm 5m

I'm maxed out sorry guys so just listen

I've got another group page good Michael

V Calais Paris just a baby bear I'd be

there and start using it more now

because I'm that's my that's my own

that's my professional page so just want

them on to Michael V or try and message

me on on on my one at least and I'm not

try and connect and brilliantly it's

been a absolute pleasure like I said at

the beginning I reached out to you long

time we don't know yeah I love your

story you know that this is fascinating

promise there's live calls on them you

all get busy I haven't managed to

reconnect there so and thank you for

your time today you've been doing

awesome things as well okay it's good to

see and again like you know we reach out

to people that we connect with and like

and so on and you know obviously

responded back to you because I know

like and trust okay you know it works

the same way you know yeah that's how I

see it and and that's how that's how

relationships grow that's how investors

get involved that's how all this stuff

happens you know it's it's all about

that you know so absolutely absolutely

spinning it's been an absolute pleasure

and well as well thanks for listening

and remember this podcast is absolutely

free so all we ask in return is for you

to share this with a friend and drop us

a 5 star review over on iTunes have an

awesome day

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Find your voice - Episode #10 - Building a business with your loved one - Manny & Ras

Tagline: Good things happen to good people - A story by the Co-Founders of Build My Gift, Manny & Ras

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Driven by a passion for business and making a difference in the gifting world, husband and wife co-founders Manny & Ras launched Build My Gift in 2017. Within this time they have been featured in Glamour, Bazaar, This Morning, GQ, Forbes, Metro, Brides and now Find Your Voice!

In this episode we get a behind the scenes understanding of what it truly takes to build a business from scratch and hear about a few obstacles they have faced on the way.

A raw and honest interview showcasing the highs and lows, which truly gives us all a great insight into the wonderful minds behind this key concept but also about what it takes to be a successful entrepreneur.

Now with over 500 products, and an everlasting increasing product portfolio, they have mastered the art of controlling overwhelm with their intuitive website helping you make decisions to suit your loved ones.

As the brand continues to grow and more wonderful memories continue to get shared with the Build My Gift experience, I urge to you follow their journey below.

Plus with mothers day around the corner and many birthdays, weddings, celebrations and opportunities to just do something nice for someone, Build My Gift is the perfect place for you to get started.

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Transcripts

[Music]

welcome to an episode of find your voice

a movement led by yours truly

Aren do a guy who has overcome

crippling anxiety adversity and

difficulty like so many of you in life

whose main goal now is to help you

combat your excuses take control of your

life write your own story and most

importantly find your voice so now

without further ado I welcome the host

of the show himself mr. Aren do what's

going on people thank you for tuning in

to another episode of find your voice my

name is Aren and as always I am the

host of the show so I'm extremely

excited today because it's a milestone

for me it's my first ever power couple

and the beautiful thing about this pile

couple is not only are they business

partners who have started this

incredible business from scratch

they're also married as well so it's

gonna be interesting to kind of

understand the dynamics of what what

it's like to obviously start your own

business but to working with your other

half so I'm extremely excited to get

this going there are very very dear

friends of mine so for that reason it

was a no brainer to bring them on the

show and more importantly I've actually

used their service I think it's about

five times now and I hope I've passed it

over to my mom and I've also passed it

over to my brother-in-law as well so

it's something that I highly highly

highly recommend and in relation to

their service it launched in 2017 you've

probably heard the name I mean they have

been featured on television and in some

major pop up stores but I'm gonna leave

them to tell us all about that so

without further ado let's get this

interview on the way okay brilliant

okay so I am sitting here today with two

of my good friends and this interview is

really exciting for me because it's the

first time I'm actually interviewing two

people at once now the exciting thing

about this interview is that this is a

power couple this is about

entrepreneurship and it's also about

business but another exciting thing to

add to that is they're also a married

couple so it's gonna be really

interesting to see how this plays out

and so I'd like to start by welcoming

Russ and money to the show

how're you guys doing today yeah good

thank you

thanks for having us you're very welcome

very welcome thank you for coming down

so I think it's really important

obviously for the listeners of the show

to kind of get an insight in relation

about you guys so we'll go with ladies

first rise if you could just tell us a

little bit about yourself and then after

that if money you want to talk about

yourself as well okay so I am co-founder

of my gift and so we launched but my

gift in 2017 but prior to that my

background is working within HR so I

worked in London for several years for a

luxury goods firm and then I moved up

north and worked for the BBC as well

Oh brilliant I'm you new University yeah

so I I studied sociology at University

that was my BA I then went on to do my

masters in education policy at King's

College and then I did a second master's

in human resource management as well

fantastic yeah money about yourself yes

so I went to university Aston University

where as well we met yeah yeah feels

like a long time ago and then graduated

in 2010 and wasn't sure what path I

wanted to take and my family was

involved in family businesses and things

I've always been involved in that so I

naturally took that path I felt like it

was the right thing to do and I've been

involved in that ever since I'm still

involved in that heavily and me and Ross

have known each other over eight years

now we got married in 2015 and yeah we

decided to take this chance with Bill my

gift in 2017 and we haven't looked back

really okay thank plastic so it's

interesting that obviously Rhys you know

just collecting masters which isn't

really directly I suppose linked to kind

of entrepreneurship and business what

made you go into that was that kind of

Manny's influence because obviously he's

family into business before or was it

something that you've always wanted to

do it isn't really at all I think

working within HR that's something that

I was really passionate about and I

really did enjoy it was just really the

we stumbled across an idea that we

thought there was a gap in the market we

mulled over it for you know sever

months and then we decided to take the

plunge and I suppose with his

entrepreneurial background we kind of

thought okay well we do have some

experience and some skills to bring

forward and we can kind of merge the two

obviously with me working with within

the luxury goods sector as well we could

kind of bring those together combined to

not block my gift brilliant okay so how

did the build my gift idea come about

then so advisers just touched on you

look at your skills and what you can

both bring to the table how did this

concept come about because I want the

listeners to understand this I have used

this so it's not something that I'm just

saying yes oh good yeah gift it makes my

life so much easier yeah because when it

comes to giving gifts for loved ones and

stuff it's literally if it's for you for

your parents or you you're at the heart

and go and they just let all these

amazing wonderful things but again I'll

let you guys go into that yeah so how

did the idea come about I think that my

cousin actually was in hospice talk this

is going back at the beginning of the

year we launched and and we were mulling

over you know what's what's a good gift

to give her you know flowers and things

and so standard these days and the same

old thing and a lot of hospitals

actually don't even allow him and we

were thinking and rats was thinking you

know wouldn't it be nice if I could just

get a few things from different places

and put a gift together and build a nice

box for her and but it would just take

me forever and I was like that'll take

you for a ages and hey who's got time to

shop around and to do the research to

find a box to wrap it up make it look

nice and then send it that's it there's

so much effort and time and maybe you

will get the odd person who's willing to

do that but 99% of people think you know

that's a bit much and then we said you

know there's nothing out there that's

like that there's nothing out there that

actually fits that kind of gap in the

market that we're thinking and then we

modeled it over B research and research

and research you know it's important to

do that and we've thought it over and we

you know the name was important and the

website and everything and so yeah

that's how it really came about that's

interesting so that's your story behind

it there I never actually knew that one

yeah one of the reasons I support is

because I always support my friends and

family's businesses as I always advocate

people should do and it is a fantastic

thing like I've used it once also this

is so easy this year

and then why did is a Tamil mom to do

yeah so I'm trying to spread the weight

but I think that story's really

important as well

yeah because I'm pretty certain there's

there's listeners out there who have got

that same predicament whether it's

somebody in hospital or whether it's

just that special occasion or something

and you guys I mean through your website

and stuff you just make life so much

easier it's trying to bring people

together make relationships stronger

basically that's what you know the

premise of the business that's what it's

all about the foundation I've built my

gift it's trying to keep people

connected and we've got orders coming in

from you know Australia to be delivered

in London from the UK to be delivered in

New York so it really is connecting

people all around the world yeah because

I think a big part of us as a couple and

maybe you know our culture in general is

relationships meet you know should be

strong Kingdom strong and and I always

believe that you know you might not

always see each other but if you message

each other or send a gift you know

something between you have relationship

is so strong and that's the whole

premise like Russ said about don't my

gift it's all about letting that person

know you thinking about them and you

know we make it easy you know it's it's

I don't want to obviously boast about is

that it wouldn't make it so easy and and

you know it's literally three steps and

it's done so so he was the brains behind

was it I would say Russ to be honest I

haven't heart you know Russ is

definitely more creative yeah she she

has been the forefront of the business

and I still divide my time between this

business and my family business okay

which it means sometimes you know my

brain is a bit it's hard to juggle the

tooth and whatnot but rath definitely is

someone who knows what she's doing when

it comes to business yeah fantastic okay

so what I want to know then so I like to

understand the life of an entrepreneur

and successful people and like their

daily habits because I'm just I'm just

intrigued by that because I think as a

listen if there's somebody out there who

wants to perhaps become an entrepreneur

do something out of the norm I think

habits and discipline is really

important at least for myself so what's

a day

in BMG no my gift for you both from the

moment you wake up oh there's no another

thing any entrepreneur will say there's

no day is the same really and it could

be kind of you know one of our peak

occasions so Christmas Valentine's

Mother's Day and all we'll be doing is

orders preparation of orders to get

those out you know there might be other

things such as top management we may be

out and we may have a day full of

meetings so business development you

know networking opportunities it really

really does vary day to day to be honest

in value and you split your time are you

doing two separate things or are you

kind of working together on those tasks

that you mentioned that we do work

together so if we if we have you know

focusing on business development for a

day we'll always try and set aside at

least a day a week or a day fortnight

where we are going to take you know take

time out of the business to go out and

about and meet people say potential

customers potential corporate clients

things like that really and also

potential suppliers too but again you

know if it's orders we take time when we

work together to ensure that those

orders are fulfilled and we get those

out then time what we tend to do is the

night before every single night before

the next day we'll make a list pretty of

what we're going to do the next day Russ

is kind of the king the king of about

jobs and I'd like to do that I think we

beat one thing that's very similar about

us is we'd like to take off listen we

like to cross things off you know the

longer the list the more you think that

morning actually this is what we've got

head this day organized

you know if it's a meeting that day we

will be you know make sure that we take

a laptop and that we if we're going on a

train we go Wi-Fi and we're still

emailing constantly got to be you've got

to be available for customers for

suppliers for potential clients as well

corporate clients are always on the go

you know we're always available on the

phone or an email as well whether you

know we're gonna meet teens or whatnot

for their yeah I think that's a really

important point because that rise

touched on being an entrepreneur

nowadays the same mm-my probably worst

trait is that I find myself firefight in

every day so the day kind of dictates me

hmm it doesn't happen all the time when

I'm disciplined and I've got my routine

I kind of do what you guys do I'm in

full flow and I enjoy it so that's

something I'd recommend to listeners

just plan your day before because what

happens is you wake up you pick up your

phone you look at your Facebook and your

emails and all of a sudden you're

responding to the world as opposed to do

what you need to do in order to move

forward so that's really interesting

just on that then so I know this I know

the answer but just for the listeners

could you just then maybe tell us some

of the clients that you work with

because I've seen some big names and

you've done some amazing things and

we're really fortunate and lucky to be

working with some great corporate

clients out there at the moment and more

recently we've just secured an

opportunity with Adobe so one of the

biggest tech firms in the world really

so we're really excited at the

opportunity to be working for them

another kind of couple of clients we've

got a courier and logistics firm that we

work with so and BJ's home delivery we

work with a local business in Cheshire

we're web-based to flow create and we

are also working with the Dorchester

Hotel in London - wow that's fantastic

and you've also been in shops as well

yeah so we did a pop-up store over

Christmas in Topshop and Oxford High

Street I can ask that yeah holidays and

I mean it was a it was a massive massive

thing for us you know it was the

flagship store and we couldn't have been

in a more centralized position in the

whole world essentially comes to look

great

as far dessert and we were you know we

were stretched I'm be honest respectin

and a whole operation to London but it

was it was a massive thing so it's a

huge kudos to a company to be there

absolutely yeah and you just said you a

firefighter I suppose sometimes that's

how you learn yeah and obviously next

time you're better equipped yeah I'm

your person no that's fantastic

okay so we've touched on just a couple

of ups and downs there as with an

entrepreneur it's a life of ups and

downs for anyone that tells you

different they're lying at least that's

my opinion yeah definitely yeah what's

been the main obstacle and since

starting your journey in build my gift

and how did you overcome this well last

year we featured for the first time on

TV this morning which is a massive thing

but you don't realize how much different

it actually happens to you when it

happened we were like okay this is big

yeah you know are we you use this and

lytx tool that tells you how many

visitors you have on the site and and

you were used to usually seeing maybe

double figures maximum is going to

triple figures and I was flying this

flying this is at one time you know

visitors to the site at a time and it

was flying to the extent where the site

crashed and you know okay that's one

thing but a number of orders came in not

hundreds of orders that come in and we

were like okay this is amazing you know

we made it this is amazing but then you

suddenly realize well we've got to

fulfill these orders and Mother's Day is

around the corner Mother's Day I think

they add right on the Wednesday and

Mother's Day was on the Sunday bearing

in mind Saturday delivery isn't really

an option

mm-hmm unless people have paid extra I

was eating into your you know you would

give profits really so you know

operationalize it was a very big

challenge you know at the time that was

just the two of us we had family support

but you know family will always support

you but they'll never know the business

like you do boss of course um so yeah

although it was an obstacle I think it

was a great opportunity as well but a

really good learning curve I didn't

anticipate the demand and it was it was

great you can never know that demand

you know anyone unless they've been in

that world that before they will never

know of course what will happen and our

business although it's make it simple

it's easy we put a lot of effort into

each gift we want it to look nice we

want it to be special when that person

opens it so you know when you've got

hundreds of orders to do it's difficult

to achieve

you know you've got to find a balance

basically and it was I mean we we did it

up until about 5:00 a.m. that my two

hours and we're up at 7:00 a.m. you

gotta work with over there yeah yeah you

know recommendation and loyalty and

reviews of massive businesses like any

e-commerce business and and for us you

know you've got to make sure you do it

right

fantastic and I can't promise you the

same recognition as this morning from

this podcast just to get at least five

six whatever it is because I'm very

confident that whoever does buy

something from yourselves similar to

myself don't be a repeat customer yeah I

mean when I signed six months ago

done it like three or four times yeah

and it like I said it's so much easier

than googling around and then trying to

fit something from Amazon there's

something from eBay or whatever it is

so yeah you know I would say you know at

least one in ten customers is a repeat

guys taking time to really make sure

that you think about how you present it

because it's presented a nice and

definitely all packaged in there

everything yes I'm fantastic good stuff

okay so what's the best thing about

owning your own business I think the

flexibility to make decisions your way

ultimately if you're employed by

somebody else you have a manager who you

need to maybe cross-reference something

with and the final decision on certain

certain matters will be made by their

more people more senior to you and so

really all of the decisions in our

business are made by us so having that

freedom to do that really it's quite

nice would you agree money I think yeah

definitely I think another thing that I

love about this business is the fact

that you meet new people you know you're

meeting people you're growing your

network

before we started this journey I do feel

as that as much as you know people

you're very close as a person you you

only want to know people who you kind of

bump into already in life and whatnot

you're not going you're not putting

yourself out there you're not really you

know attending events and parties that

we are now you know you don't know

you're not really experiencing that side

of life and then now we do we put

ourselves out there we attend award

shows we attend networking events we

attend meeting after meeting with

massive corporate people who we never

would have met before and you know I

sometimes that can pitch myself and

think well you know we're just in the

Dorchester Hotel absolutely meeting you

know they're client services director

and when when would we ever I was just

talking to her about cricket you know it

kind of opens a whole new world for you

and which is only become possible

because of this business and the hard

work you guys have wait that's right

yeah and the worst thing about owning

your own business so you're not going to

know everything about running the

business I suppose and it's always going

to be bookkeeping that's the worst thing

you know paperwork and the admin side of

things and that can be quite heavy and

you want to be focused on doing all the

creative fun elements of the business

but you also have to keep those gaps you

do the basics as well

I can't think actually what what else

would I would say sometimes I do think

that you know with us being married mmm

the business has taken over a lot of our

conversation a lot of recipes you know

pressing and everything in our lives

because it's just that it's a massive

part of us sometimes I don't know Russ

sometimes feels this as well as that you

know has it almost become as if you know

our business has become us and we've

lost each you know as a couple who we

work for that it kind of it's hard to

remember a time before the business

although we haven't you know it's only

been two years or so but it's hard to

remember a time when it was just me and

her and I understand that yeah I

understand that for a simple fact that

I've obviously try to juggle multiple

businesses myself yeah my wife works

full-time and then she's coming home to

another

for business and literally we don't see

each other as we're in the same house

but and if we do see each other in fact

it's probably from our peripheral vision

because we're like this yeah and I

forward and we're just way it happens

they're working that we're on where they

said that and today actually it's the

first time we're going for a meal and

I'm actually really looking forward to

it because similar to what you just said

there I was like cher like we haven't

spoke about life we're just us or

anything you don't want it you don't

want to forget that yeah and this was up

to you I was gonna ask you guys so I can

imagine it is brilliant because your

best mates you're married and you you're

on this vision and you creating this

amazing business but then you are gonna

have that aspect of the whole you must

do bicker do you have I think you know

as any relationship you will always have

your little bickering moments but I

think when it comes to the business we

always put those aside no matter what

because we share that common goal and

we're so motivated and determined to

make that success so you know we may

have had a small little petty argument

over something but when it comes to the

business we move on I think the business

helps and hinders and those things that

it helps in the sense that and sometimes

library said if you've got it you know

any any couple could sometimes have a

minor minor it should be deter but if

you've got a common goal that common

love which is the business you put

everything aside for the business and

you know you get over something ego

asari quick so listen what moves this

business for exactly exactly and you

gotta think you could have been mature

and you've got to think you know forget

yeah you know forget that my food was

calm and but you know similarly because

we are working together in a business

24/7 you spend so much time with each

other you talk constantly even when

you're not with each other we're texting

about the business or not it can lead to

sometimes you know you know minor

disagreements the wrath sometimes has

her opinion on something sometimes I

have my opinion on how we should do

something and you are gonna have that

kind of election that's inevitable I

know two people who work in a business

who aren't married are gonna have that

same issues absolutely absolutely so

yeah yeah

you know each of this opinion and

actually then finding a middle ground

but the fact that we're married allows

us to kind of be honest you know if

you're if you're doing if you're running

a business with somebody that you don't

know so well or as a friend

it's can be awkward how about you sage

have that conversation or be honest as

they'd like I don't like your idea you

know I don't think you do the right

thing here but with me and Rass you know

we've known each other for so long voice

of course you can be so honest I'll say

exactly - yeah and that she dances ah

that's good but you know that you you

know you have that kind of love for that

person that you accept what they say

sometimes you know you might take a bit

but then it's fine because you're

married in this you know it's this no

more so and at the end of the day and

the key thing is you both want each

other to win that's right and you both

want to win and I I did that sigh you

know I've had to put my ego aside and

stuff as occurs sometimes you wanna win

the argument and I was immature back in

the down I was always trying to win the

argument where is now it's like if I win

the argument and upset my wife then who

really wins here like anything we both

release so now it's like actually I want

that person to win so let's just look at

it rationally hmm and then what muses

Falls so yeah exactly exactly a nothing

very mature yeah yeah I love it

okay so one piece of advice that you

could give to somebody now who's maybe

thinking you know I'm in a nine-to-five

similar to how you guys could have been

denied two fives coming out of

university raspberry they're ten masters

so you think in I'm gonna just jump into

a job what advice would you give them

just one piece of advice in terms of

going into entrepreneurship I would say

make sure you know exactly your industry

that you're going into research your lot

yeah your market your competitors what

you're offering you know make sure it's

it's something that you know that

industry inside out because if you take

a risk and you go for something like

that and you know you kind of fall short

a little bit you know your first

impressions everything to people if you

don't get your website up to scratch and

if it is an e-commerce business for

example or if you don't know what you're

doing is in meetings and things and you

kind of you leave a lasting impression

your first impression is important he'll

be spend a lot of time perfecting our

process our offering as a product the

brands that we work with and the website

tweaking and tweaking we delayed our

launch and we delayed and delay the

people who like what you're doing you're

gonna miss Christmas you know what

you're doing and but we were like it's

important that the website is top-notch

because if it's not people will remember

and then work on that of course you've

got premium products yeah exactly yeah I

mean our business is all about you know

premium and while known brands and if

you want to work alongside those brands

and you want to come across like that

you need to make sure there is no

amateur and nothing is along the chain

because that's your market audience yes

I would say that personally mm-hmm

ya know 100 percent I mean although we

had the initial concept I'd say at the

start of 2017

it was researching that and then you

know going into launch so it was a lot

of back-and-forth a lot of perfecting

and getting things right and we didn't

get it perfect even then you know and

yes you may launch a business and thing

actually yes this is great but it's

taking on board feedback from customers

from the people around you your network

and and continuously improving on that

as well I agree I love the word perfect

exists in terms of like business or no I

ever you do because there's always

something and we are our own biggest

critics as well ya know something and

what we always try and do is the best

that we can do in that moment

ya know in hindsight we let this history

you know I lost can't be my time that I

said oh I wish I'd said that yeah sure

than that and we even on the way here

said let's make a few notes because I

don't want to leave this podcast and

think oh you know what I could have

given this advice I think you won't

forget happens in the time you have

forget to ask you something yeah but is

what it is but hopefully after this

you'll get people reaching out to you

guys

sliding into DMS and then more

importantly easing bill my gift so yeah

definitely you'll be fine okay so what's

your motivation then moving forward now

to the end of this year what one thing

would you like to happen

they really grow the corporate side of

the business and when we first launched

bill my gifts it was focused on the BTC

market and that's the online platform

that we had but you know BTC for the

listeners join expand on that sorry yes

mr. consumer market side of the business

so and we had the online platform of

course but for us you know we really do

see there is potential and opportunity

for the corporate side of our business

and to continue growing and building on

that is really really important for us I

think oh yeah yeah definitely I think we

see a lot of potential with corporate

and weddings I don't know if you've

noticed we've started working with more

and more businesses like you said and

and wedding planners and things like

that and when we first launched the

business we didn't have any idea about

this thing you know we we felt like it

was an opportunity said we needed a gift

that we wanted to give someone and we

just thought I wouldn't be nice for an

everyday person to have to access this

and no idea that you know this this kind

of a kind of model would work for

businesses it would work for events and

work for wedding for couples all sorts

of things and as you go along you learn

more and more and we've really grown

that side of the business especially

back end of last year and the beginning

of this year I mean we've really pushed

on and I know twelve months from now

we'll be like well last year we really

yeah and you're probably over another

opportunity were you thinking yeah we

never thought this exactly yeah and

that's the beautiful thing

yes games and and it gives you it gives

you a lot of hope and it gives you a lot

of confidence that yeah you know this

business model has a lot of avenues to

pursue and you know we're not done yeah

absolutely just to start yeah exactly

fantastic okay

okay fantastic so you've heard the

buzzer go off now so now we're at the

fun part of the show and again I've

never done this before with two

different people so I'm gonna do is I'm

gonna put rather money through their

paces for 60 seconds asking them the

most random questions okay and in true

family fortune style you can't repeat

the same answer advice okay money yep

cool I'm gonna start with you Reza

we're gonna go in three two one romance

or comedy romance comedy Italian or

Chinese Italian I hate Chinese

favourite place you've been together

rube oh yeah

cinema or bowling both the ability to

fly or be invisible invisible be

invisible

what is your partner's best trait I love

no he's really good-hearted I think

thinks about everybody a little bit when

you're fame fame has never interested me

guess money no money what is your

biggest addiction success that Pixar

YouTube Netflix Snickers or Mars

neither favorite TV show there's a show

that Love Actually is so it's actually

really rubbish but I love it it's called

Peep Show

Ecore languages will be able to speak to

animals speak all languages episode your

biggest fear failure your biggest

inspiration I always am massively

inspired I think we both are by you know

to name an entrepreneur expose you so

there's a stationary brand Swedish

Swedish station on Van kekeke a said the

owner of that I think she's massively

inspirational we've been listening to

her podcast as well

you should get yourself on there as well

absolutely and your favorite BMG gift I

personally like the kind of the cocktail

sets okay yeah I think they look really

nice and they're quite cool for anyone

who's into you know hosting parties and

things like that could be yours

bottle of champagne nice and if you can

sit with one person in the world for an

hour who would it be

Michelle Obama Will Smith would you

rather know how you would die or when

you will die when if you could abolish

one thing in the world what would it be

greed I think and kind of selfishness

expectation what is your favorite song

ever Beyonce and jay-z crazy alone oh

yeah so one song naturally yeah I listen

to for motivation miscible random it's

57th from his film get rich or die

trying' I just think it's very

motivational

is it the gym that I use it I get

generally if you're feeling a bit it's

lumpy that day I guess you guys lumpy

yeah finally

would you rather read minds or predict

the future and yeah read more deep voice

yeah okay brilliant how'd you find out

kind of questions that you you think oh

I know then I would know it it comes

down to it absolutely so you mentioned

briefly in these questions that we just

had the cocktail set could you elaborate

maybe on your sets or the kind of gifts

that people could go onto your website

find and then give to their loved ones

yeah so I am I suppose it's really for

any occasions and whether it's a

birthday gave to get well soon gift and

you home gift and you baby gift maybe

the list goes on so any occasion we've

pretty much got it covered and at the

moment we have more than 500 products

that you can go on and select and build

her own gifts we also have a prebuilt

gift section so if you want it to be

even more easier than it already is you

can literally select one of our

pre-built gifts and check out fantastic

anything time I mean yeah I mean like I

said we've got massive array of products

but we're always looking to expand we're

always looking to you know what's one

trend what's cool what can fit for

different types of people for different

types of budget for different types of

occasions and you know that's that's the

beauty of Bill my gift there's this very

rare that you can find everything all in

one place and um you know you you could

shop for your mom's 50th but at the same

time you're

neighbors had a new baby then you can

buy the both gifts at the same time all

in the same place but then within five

minutes you know and it's really simple

we've got a massive range of products

that help stores every occasion so yeah

I mean like russ explained I think

that's I think that's everything yeah

there you go so it's like kind of like a

one-stop shop one-stop shop yeah I just

want to touch on something that you

mentioned there is all you've got 500

products and you're also open

potentially to other products as well

yes and we're always growing our product

portfolio always looking to take on new

brands again as we've been to 2019 we've

you know been in touch with several new

brands and we're going to be taking them

on board and introducing them to the

sites they're always open to new

fantastic so if anyone's out there with

a product or something as well maybe get

in touch with it's definitely definitely

we always were always approached by by

you know companies as members who have

products and we are very open and we're

not dismissive we will always at least

give it a chance to look at it and read

up on it and if we fill is something

that adds value to our business and to

our you know offering as a gift box then

definitely we'll look into it really

yeah like Russ said we've taken on I

think two or three new brands in 2019

it's all about staying fresh and yeah

absolutely yeah no no it's really

inspiring and just all concept obvi I

mean we started the interview and you

spoke initially about the story behind

it and how you were saying how difficult

it's gonna be to get a couple of gifts

together like a hamper set that's right

get it all coordinated here you are now

with 500 products I just find that

really yeah yes very passionately I

think sometimes we're we're so here and

now and we don't think you know the

achievement to get here yeah absolutely

that's my only lunch produced right yeah

because we're always seeking what's next

that's where I forget yet we're always

we're so used to seeing most products

that they're that we don't even think

just look back and think look at all

that how we got I remember your first

snapchat summit yeah yeah yeah you guys

yeah you know at the beginning of my

remember what we what was our first I

think we used to have supplies that now

why why did we even have those things at

least that got us through the door you

know and we're lucky I mean I'm very

lucky that I you know through our family

businesses I've connection for some

wholesalers who then allowed us the

opportunity to kind of get stock in

Andrus has a connection with luxury

companies and from her previous jobs

which have allowed his connections there

so it is really about making use of your

contacts absolutely and then growing

your network in absolutely ivory your

net worth is based on your network

that's right and sometimes we fail to

actually tap into our own network mm-hmm

and even myself so from property

perspective I didn't realize how many

plumbers I knew how many conveyance is

that I knew like brokers all within like

my family it was only when you start

coming out and you saying I'll do this

and then people start reaching out to

you so I'd always implore people like

there to kind of firstly understand your

network and then your networks then work

because that's where the magic is

definitely yeah actually really just

before we get to the final question and

that always I tasked my guess is about

reflection so if you guys could go back

maybe to when you first I'd bill my gift

and that first idea came and you knowing

everything you don't know what one piece

of advice would you whisper in the ears

of yourselves I think be more bold and

just put yourself out there I love that

yeah again like I said you know you go

to events and things in at the beginning

we were maybe bit hesitant engagement of

people and build your network and but we

realized as time goes on that is so

important to do those things and so I

would definitely say that as well yeah

fantastic

brilliant so sadly work the last

question now of the interview so yeah if

Finn hundred fifty years time science

fails to save us and all that's left is

a book and it's about your life and it

explains to your journey a little bit

about you basically your inspiring story

what would the title be and what would

be blown say to make somebody want to

pick it up and read it

so we did give this a little bit thought

and so I think it would be good things

happen to good people

hmm I think I was I would like it to say

I think I've always been somebody who

likes to see the good in everything and

do good by people and so I'd like to be

remembered for that as well love that

okay I'm not gonna put you on the spot

if you both had that together would you

agree is that kind of where you you'd

want to be remember yeah definitely I

think you know there's there's an

entrepreneurship but there's also you

know your life and in life we both try

to be good people we try to do right by

our family and everyone around us and it

is difficult sometimes to balance

everything you know you want to be

selfish sometimes and think about

yourself and think about your business

but you have to think about everything

you know the grand scheme of things

and balance everything and do the right

thing which I think we both do I think

we agree we always think you know other

repercussions to this you know should we

do this should we do that and I think if

in 20 years time 100 years time like and

we used to look back and people would

say you know what they made the right

decision by everybody they didn't just

think about themselves and this door was

successful diversity a lot of stories

they're successful but they've had to

make a lot of enemies along the way you

know they've had to be very selfish and

I'd like to think that we weren't those

people we look good people you are

fantastic so before I close this show

what I want to do is give you an

opportunity to connect with the

listeners of the show and vice versa so

what's the best places that listeners

can reach out to yourselves

is it your personal profiles is it build

my gift yes so I think people can get in

touch with us by visiting the website

there's a contact us form they can reach

out to us by Instagram so it's app build

my gift - mm-hmm and the website is it's

wwl my gift calm dusty yeah we have like

a live chat facility on the website as

well if anyone wants to you know get a

quicker answer I'll be more than likely

to respond quickest on there like Russ

said our Instagram is I'll probably a

bigger social handle yeah we also

respond by our Facebook and Twitter but

in surroundings our biggest thing so if

anyone wants to get in touch this app

bill my gift fantastic and you've also

got all loads of black amazing forwards

instagramers oh yeah I mean everything's

everything you know a to Zed if you want

a quick snapshot on the company just

visit hit our Instagram and you can see

we're very very much a visual company

and Instagram is a big driver for us

yeah fantastic so we're at the end of

the show and this has been it's been

exciting for me it's a it's good to see

you guys I'm very proud of how far you

guys have come thank you in this

business it's it's inspiring hearing

like the ins and outs of it as well I

definitely urge my listeners just check

it out on Instagram go on the website

because you just find that yourself just

adding all these wonderful things which

is lived--and I'm excited now you've got

more products as well so again it's

something that I use I got it I've got

photos of it I've got proof in case oh

yeah this isn't the Hat absolutely yeah

really it's something that I I believe

in if I didn't believe in it I wouldn't

I wouldn't send it out there get

obviously then my reputation is on the

line as are so it's a fantastic thing

thank you guys

once again thank you for having us like

sharing my story about you sharing your

story sorry but hopefully you know your

listeners you know can resonate with

what we've been through and what which

I'm sure they will absolutely because I

think we're all going to be that kind of

thing in there in our daily struggles

and life and stuff and you know

instagrams a different thing because you

only see the highlights that's right

we look to hear you guys kind of just

tell us a little bit about what yeah she

goes on yeah behind closed doors so

thank you once again and forever and a

whole thanks for listening thank you and

remember this podcast is absolutely free

so all we asked in return is for you to

share this with a friend and drop us a

five star review over on iTunes have an

awesome day

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Find your voice - Episode 9 -"We came with a suitcase & a dream" - T

Tagline: "We came with a suitcase & a dream"

Uplifted from Zimbabwe T and his family chased the American Dream for a better future.

T puts this perfectly when he explains the silent example he learnt from his parents to be a driving force in his life - hard work. Coming from extremely humble beginnings T knew his best chance at changing his own future and that of his families would be to work harder than those around him.

Unable to speak english and ridiculed early on by children and undervalued by teachers T began to embrace hard work and the struggle finding true beauty in outworking those around him.

Now a successful social worker, bodybuilder and an all round great guy T's future is brighter than ever as he seeks to help inspire others and teach them to never let anyone elses opinions dictate their ceilings of success and to always embrace hard work.

T also speaks of the oppresive lifestyle he was part of growing up and the struggles of learning a new culture, language and fitting into society. However having studied closely with T for 2 years there are very few more genuine souls I have come across.

I urge you all to support and follow his journey...

Thanks for listening

Free Audible book sign up:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21

Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Links to guest:

Snapchat: Catchafreeman

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/passion4lifting/

Transcript:

[Music]

welcome to an episode of find your voice

a movement led by yours truly

Aren do a guy who has overcome

crippling anxiety adversity and

difficulty like so many of you in life

whose main goal now is to help you

combat your excuses take control of your

life write your own story and most

importantly find your voice so now

without further ado I welcome the host

of the show himself mr. Aren do what's

going on people thank you for tuning in

to another episode of find your voice my

name is Aren and as always I am the

host of the show

so today's guest is somebody who I met

about four years ago on my social weight

journey so yes

prior to me starting property business

and coaching I was actually a social

worker for a very very short amount of

time but about two weeks ago t reached

out again and he was commenting on one

of my earlier episodes and how he found

it very inspiring and then he asked if

he could be on the show of course was

the answer but I was intrigued because

knowing T at university during our two

years studying a masters he was always

the one in the class that would make

people smile he was always smiling yet

somewhere deep down I knew there was

some element of struggle some level of

adversity that he had been through but

you could never guess what it was

because like I said he was always the

one that would make all our classmates

smile he was always easy come easy go

he's really getting stressed and he was

just a pleasure to be around

so when he offered to share his story I

was intrigued because I knew there was

gonna be something that was going to be

inspiring and motivating and he didn't

disappoint

this episode was fantastic one because I

got to see my good friend again but two

because I realized how lucky and

fortunate I am and probably many of you

listeners are too so I think it's

important we jump straight into this

episode and listen to what he has to say

and really understand that sometimes the

grass isn't always greener on the other

side

and that we do actually have an

unbelievable amount of things to be

grateful for

okay so I'm sitting here now with my

good friend T so if you could explain

actually firstly how you doing not seem

bad might not see where I'm glad to be

here goodness doesn't he answer that I

completely forgot to ask him how he was

so I think it's important for the

listeners to you understand a little bit

about your journey and how you progress

through life so if you could just start

from I suppose your first memory I kind

of let us know the life of T of Katonah

okay that's all right mrs. IND thinking

me you know I don't usually speak I'm

not so good at speaking but I know the

end of this if I can inspire this one

person great that's my job here done and

I come from very very very humble

beginnings well I say that I'm still I'm

still here humble beginnings now I'm not

made it yet but we are making progress

my parents my mom moved here in 2003

beans involved in bad way yes yes and

you know we came here okay with a

suitcase and a dream it was a case of

the economy was on see a great over

there so before you know I yeah what's

the next big thing and you know this was

this was their two children at the time

and like most people I found out found

out that working hard was the way to

their you know American dream so to

speak yeah yeah anyone can say

absolutely um you know the first lessons

that I want C to share with you guys

some of the islands from a parents

hadn't moved here is that you know

you've gotta work hard you have to work

cuz I grew up in a house where you know

I was watching my parents work day in

day our worst and continue to work hard

day and night to make sure that me and

my sister would not go with the help you

know they were breaking their backs and

freed out I said I had a front row seat

in learning you know a hard work I was

like takes yeah you know start from the

bottom

remember back home there had really

prestigious jobs but the KVN had to

start from the bottom literally start at

the foundation level okay okay so can I

just jump in there so yeah back home you

had prestigious jobs was it still not

enough in order to fulfill the dreams

that they had I'm glad to think that

they probably did it with us in mind

okay because the way that the fins would

go in I reckon if they continued working

things would have been okay for them but

then by the time you came to us growing

up and working things might not be so

good for us you know something they had

us in mind to build our futures because

we were gonna have better opportunities

that make sense here and you know some

people choose that's why you see there's

so many people now I'll try that risking

their lives day in day out trying to get

to the UK or you know these the

different countries in the West cuz

opportunities are there that's been at

home yeah we don't know how lucky we are

sometimes we don't and we take things

for granted even take things for granted

so it's so easy wake up sahaja lotta G

but there's someone diapers opportunity

that we wake up every day as well you

know wake up every day dream someone's

dying for this you know yeah we're more

about our jobs and what we spoke about

is actually yeah and it's that thing of

we take things for granted man you know

anyway I digress

I'm saying I had a front-row seat

watching what it really takes to be able

to drive but you want an understanding

fundamental that in this country you can

give anything you wanted if and only if

you're willing to make the sacrifices

and pull your socks up like I said

people are risking their lives trying to

sneak and use the abundance of

opportunities that were presented with

so the lesson I want to convey to you

guys today is that there's nothing more

powerful than that Silas example and for

me that sounds example was my parents

they never told me that you know when we

came here absolutely this is what

yesterday we were just watching yeah I

just had to watch all thinking okay you

know yeah weekend that is working in my

mom is working you know we're just

watching that work as powerful

there's a quote and I think it says

don't listen to what they say watch what

they do and that's what it is and that's

with anything in mind because you get a

lot of people are just talking the talk

and stuff

sounds great we really if it sounds

before the action yeah it's the action

they can talk it you know gay men but

when it comes to doing it's a different

story and for me from that is where I

learned that parents as parents and my

parents yeah but as parents be afraid to

let your kids watch you fail or watch

you start from the bottom and watch you

sweat cause we taking inspiration comes

every day we learn Oh strong strong work

ethic I think that's I think that's a

powerful lesson because one of them like

I said to a lot of people my superpower

I believe everyone's got a super fine I

use that as an analogy or metaphor is I

just work hard that's it

I don't have anything else good I'm not

naturally more talented at something

else but I will most likely I work most

people because I've seen my mom do it

I've seen her with 90 hours a week when

we were growing up I used to see her

around I'm thinking where's mom

and it should come from breakage that

getting changed into our next - she's

back after work yeah and I'm not talking

about later I'm talking Saturday Sunday

I'm talking in the six weeks holidays I

think that's really important I think we

should set an example of the real life

and not trying to hide things for my

kids that's it in order to try and

protect them because actually you could

actually giving them a good thing

there's no such thing as an overnight

sensation no such being people you have

to work you know some people are lucky

enough to be born in rich families and

whatnot but majority of us we have to

work her way up

mm-hmm and for me I'd like to say that's

probably one of the best solid examples

of my life and that's made me who I am

today because it's me you know yeah I'm

not gonna be product of my circumstances

and I'm gonna be so the master of my

destiny I'm saying that now but back

then it was not like that in the sensor

for example you know when I first came

here I came when I was about 10 years

old started in year six I'm going to

school not knowing English that well

because English is the second language

okay but we do not have to speak it at

much because we don't need sing of

course you know we just have good lesson

English enough

so came here and yes 6 min imagine you

know trying to learn English we were

pretty much I remember going to school

and those big clumps of bacon and then

the cheap of the cheaper version is the

cheap version because it's not little

thin slices we employ us how would you

want that was a big chunk you say see

laughter retired my gosh but it's

brilliant because again this is what it

was my character the clumps of bacon you

know wake up in the morning she made

back

try as possible wait you could imagine

it was not easy trying sliced bacon as

you put it on that sound good share I'll

get to school so I said I do not know

some of the things that were deemed to

be normal in this country sometimes

frowned upon

yeah so break time think I'm a bacon

sandwich you know remember I remember

him to Clete onto the bread so hard to

prevent the whole me good bite

you know yeah I remember sometimes we'd

have pizza it would have Pete certainly

and I'll bring they left all this nice

box at my Lodge for school Broco Pizza

he and I did not know that this was not

the into the normal button but you know

it was tough for my sisters there she

was younger she started by ryaba star

square one she couldn't speak that could

be English as well so we kind of just

have each other have to try and you know

I remember sister go home she'll be

trying to read a book to try and learn

you know English I should be holding

that book upside down you know you just

start I would love a coke

bacon sandwich for those kids don't

listen Island kids kids are cruel yeah

you know meals kids are cruel that's why

there's so much bullying in school right

now it's only now right now oh no wait

if I have to you know go to work with

this is all right this is okay cuz now I

don't put down anyone's approval I'm in

that stage now where certain people's

opinion if it's not constructive it

doesn't bother me

moving on then we went to secondary

school obviously were picking up English

you know it's improving improving the

language just getting back there so we

get to school yeah do the sets in you

nine I did okay considering

yeah ten will do GCSEs okay no yes I

will do you mock GCSE means encore these

are marks and - seriously

Bastille did well in them then I

remember there was one Paris evening

goes one parents evening news in their

parents evening actually my parents were

cold from school and the teacher said

can you kiss community discussion your

son is underachievement

right okay like I told your son is

predicted to come by the end of GCSE is

to come out with four C's with this

coming from you know I'm doing well in

essence I'm always you know and can

imagine you know in my house we'd say

education very seriously and it's not

just my house is probably across the

most African families most African

countries cause in Africa education is

not free you know here privilege is a

privilege is a privilege that many

cannot afford I remember

at home kids will be sent out from

classical definitely see the

Headmaster's office or go home if you've

not paid the school fees cause some

people simply couldn't afford so you

coverton so imagine you come into this

country metal education is free and

you're messing about yeah you're not

taking advantage of the opportunity that

is presented to you witness others at

home or dying for this opportunity and

when if they are to get it they would

flourish in you know you know can we

imagine they were really disappointed

do not happy it was a case right you're

mixing about you don't take a school

education seriously from now on there'll

be no going out no playing out if you

were to play outside you know I was

acting all playing out during the week

anyway I was very impressive on the

weekends

I was allowed out on mainly just the

Saturday if his Sunday so a couple of

house I was allowed on Saturday but

before I did that I had to do you know

those PGCC books yeah I had to do

certain number of pages of them before I

could go out and I had to get it right

and I used to think why they doing this

to me why me you know all my friends at

help then when I did go out I don't have

to care if you have to be 4i either six

or seven even some other stars blazing

hot at 7:00 p.m. you have to be able to

seven I don't think it's himself why are

they doing this to me why me you know I

used to moan about it wasn't impressed

but then it's funny now when I go back

because obviously at that age you know

more than your parents don't you another

thing that you know yeah but what I do

there now and the kind of people that

were staying out so midnight what they

were doing to midnight I'm not comparing

myself to them I'm just saying I'm glad

that my parents did that I'm glad that

they did that for me because

so for me as well if I was one of them

kids someone invited prison some of them

are just doing all kinds of business you

know anyway absolutely predictions I

think that is an important point though

that we should stress because I was the

same so I went to tip it up which is

where you live now I think I still live

there and I had like best friends and

you think you never gonna get friends

better than this and I want to go to

Thibodeau comp and at that time I was

doing well academically so my parents

were like okay we're gonna send you to

grammar school the helis grammar school

then I found out he was all-boys school

but that way he's going through puberty

exciting to find the opposite sex

attractive and I was like here I go to

an all-boys school and I went and I

resented it I resented the decision for

ages I'm gonna hate it but in hindsight

similarly yourself now that got me into

a very good university even what my

grades weren't great because I had that

my CV it also taught me a lot about how

you should conduct yourself in certain

situations not all of it was positive

but also been there I've got some of my

best friends and I'm talking about

friends you on the right side of the law

okay when I look back at if I'd run

tv.com and I look at my friends there

there were stabbings there was prison

there was drugs with the community that

I grew up with so I don't know would I

have been brave enough with and stepping

away from friends who have grown up with

or what I've just got involved in that I

don't know we'll never know but I'm kind

of grateful that I went my way and life

has brought me here so yeah Paris I

think they always try to do the best

that they know but at that time you

don't see oh man angry I mean they never

even played football there and as a kid

I was like a hotshot footballer

apparently and I've got to defeat every

all my dreams I'm kind of crushed in

that moment yeah but then also some

wonderful thing and now I kind of think

you know what actually my life isn't too

bad and I suppose it's perspective and

it's a age and as you grow you can you

can spin anything I suppose in a good

way that's and yeah sorry continue

well in that sense I think it man so

close so close you know we are ta 11 we

do GCSEs I come out with two A's B's and

C's yeah I don't know how much that I

had to do with all the extra homework

that I had to do because of that meeting

being cold but I saw so smug towards my

teachers thinking oh okay there's your

four C's you know we came from Revere oh

yeah yeah you know that figure of

putting their limitations or

expectations on me you know not picking

I love me yes okay great this was it for

me I think actually today today best

achievement I worked hard for that

please repeat in a school of how many

people to be the top and you know be

another one from where you start exactly

that's the thing as well Stan journey

knowing you know came here barely being

able to speak a word of English and now

here I am being told you're the example

student you know that was big for me and

that's why to this day is still one of

our biggest achievements

that we call to college to a-levels

doing a-levels breaking those I don't

know teacher see you because doing the

hub behaves on son who's come a bit of a

joker yeah sometimes I like to say a

joke sometimes might be inappropriate

times when I like to crack a joke about

this has been interviews where they're

going to just cracking jokes yeah

probably cause ya know the swamp and

semen college where my mom comes in

friends dad came in as well and I

remember as we're going out he was going

out my mom was coming in so I'm still

mom kind of knew what to expect

yeah and in there it was some kind of

exactly what the predictions were but it

was no great again he was no quotes

he was no great January exams so you

know that's Jennifer Connelly Wingate's

caucuses in January exams like three

months either one now and I remember

there was a law exam I was ready to go

see I thought exam was a 2 p.m. or

something I don't know what in my mind

[Laughter]

anyway so you just told me you know

check what time you exactly hmm

and this time is about half nine when

zone was at 9 o'clock

yeah you know I had breakfast heaven or

breakfast yeah

so we get to school and we get to

college which is about half an hour

drive on a good day

this one's not good dangos of the snow

obviously so I get they have a half ten

and there's about an hour of the exam

next is going to be a two and a half

hours I'll run for it

I'm not oh please I'm going to be naked

no exam can you please let me go and see

the rest of the example you know cannot

restart it about two hours now and then

I why are you late that's odd the bus

broke down those are all round chaos -

okay we the only student from this

College in that bus yeah but you only

see the last best results came out I'll

go ahead de you yeah I got a de you au

was a mystery yeah I didn't think I did

that bad but boy come one hey you here

we go again you know I'm gonna go home

how do you go home the best thing to do

yeah so there's no nasty surprises when

I get home my parents just know I was in

a school day

you know hopefully bugs ever get home

yeah Judas thank you lot of except to

the end you know it's like go home get

home and again it was just a case of you

know yeah this time there was no right

ten is your life your life you do what

you want is worse that I got me man yeah

disappointment is worse than that guy

I'll probably get shouted midair don't

gets around disappoints in the human so

I was thinking some stuff okay so I had

to pay for the reasons are my own money

then resuts

I go in a b c in the receipts in the

summer which was great because waffle

was a leg was really the same as he said

Jesus is we can revise two weeks before

George I know Chauncey and so I learned

the hard way I'm sort of sure in the end

I got a BBC fantastically end of the ADA

was which was great which can set me on

the path to unique University and I went

to university went to Manchester did my

first degree

you've Community development's it was

great

enjoyed it then I went on to do some

work related to that words and fate of

people

mmm-hmm and it was basically a

organization which would be young people

who were born HIV and I would like to

say that it's probably the best thing

I've ever done in my life imagined job

wise and satisfaction wise cuz you know

you're making that positive impact on

people's lives and having said that you

know I am gonna keep jumping back and

forth wine yeah I know that start the

podcast was all discussed growing up in

the house were you watching people

working hard know what we know this job

in age of fourteen I remember it was a

paper round for the local newspaper in

the area and it was about 350 newspapers

every Thursday in November I wake up

first thing in the morning Wednesday

nights

first thing first day morning do about

150 use maple before going to school

come back get rid of school

go to school come back home till even

the rest of the newspaper sometimes you

saw spit into the Friday as well

depending on how fast there wasn't one

nothing and again it was that thing of

trying to get that good work ethic

instilled in me from a young age as well

so once I was you know in college I was

working as well yeah I was working them

in has to be like you know you do the

math I was pissed at it see then when I

moved to Manchester also a convention

see like I do that by state authorities

gonna work like Clark's and I moved back

home yeah because the other guys I was

working for they lost their funding and

they had to close down and I'm thinking

man was next because I've got this

degree but I know that the job prospects

are not great a ride wasn't Mickey Mouse

degree and I think you know go back I'm

one I've done the same one

maybe frequently that prospectus was a

big t fast yeah you know he's just a

case of Social Work socialized the next

thing for me that's what and that's what

we met that's what we meant

I remember the first time I see this

Social Work and being in social workers

were working in and it was back then and

I remember it was a case of also

different different environments and

they you need to remember you working

together differently when I did my

undergraduate it was a case yeah yeah

here the Masters is the case of your

help me help you

of course and I think I've seen more us

is amol that's the big man that's the

big and it was a case of my it was not

just asked he was pretty much the whole

brain sleep everyone just worked so well

to confess

and we try to make sure that if someone

did not was not doing so well we try to

pull them up why didn't his doing this

you know centrist instead of myosin

powerful is this you know yeah who's

great and again it's that thing of for

me that's where I experienced real trust

I mention your colleagues because I've

not known anything like that before I

think I'm the same but then there's a

few things that that one age will

probably or everyone's had a degree

before so you wise up a little bit but I

think also it's a testament that people

are going to become social workers

because you guys who are keep in touch

with here and there through that what's

up yourself a little bit more to be a

social worker wanna become a social

worker you've got to be a different kind

of person I believe you've gotta have

that level there's gonna be something in

your heart that makes you want to help

people so the reason you will start that

journey together was we want you to be

the best I'm socially in the world and

change the world so if we call after our

peers who are on the same path as us

then that's saying something about your

personality and there's nobody on that

course I can think of who did that we

all literally just held each other up

somebody would tell me what my choice

like come along with me and I love that

community like so yeah you know I having

said that you having said that you know

you said you have to be same kind of

person to be a social would you be

surprised you know bro really there's

some people that you see I don't think

it wait you know you'd agree yeah

everyone was great I'm sure that

everyone was great as well as you think

[Music]

but then when you get in the job there

are some people that you think where

were you and the cool so become

desensitized or

Huracan people do become desensitized

and sometimes i know that we found this

out that the job is not what we expected

it to be yeah so I think that's probably

why some people serve turn out to be a

certain way whilst on the job

yeah um you know we do the masters and

now you know I'm I'm working the job

working the job and it's going okay

basically from my story in main thing

the hours of convey is their thing of

other people's expectations

do not let people's expectations of your

other people's limitations in you become

your reality doctor so you know if

someone's a sense EE you know yeah you

do so well I don't think you're gonna be

able to do this you know that's their

expectations that doesn't mean it has to

transpire it to you absolutely

and sadly it does sadly in some cases it

does cause a self-fulfilling prophecy

yeah if you didn't shout that the bad

believin that they're bad you know

they'll probably start behaving it's

that feeling of staying in your own lane

I think that's really important people's

opinions they're all facts it's just

their belief and again their belief

isn't the truth is their truth it's not

in fact and I think I've learned that

the hard way because a lot of stuff I've

bought off for trying to do was based on

other people's opinions and I just think

now the most important opinion is the

opinion of myself I mean in movie you

have to it sounds it sounds weird as a

grown man and he stays thinking I need

to start to look at myself I need to

start valuing myself because somewhere

along the journey I stopped doing that

and the way I would I suppose look at

myself what I do myself was based on the

opinion of other people whereas now it's

like each Australian if there's a few

people in my life who their opinion

concerns me because I respect them and I

want them to think that I'm doing a good

thing but other than that it's really

about myself and that's why we touched

on prior to this episode time why'd you

stop that self-talk every morning and

have you stuff that empowers me rather

than brings me down because a lot of us

thumpings get out it wasn't actually

myself it was the opinions of others

that I would repeat to myself and say I

must be sure I must be anxious I must

not be strong enough for must not be

good enough

that's a is the mind is so powerful so I

think one of the things I want to try

and be with this podcast is always try

and get into younger heads so they don't

go through that exactly he really

switched them young because we instill

that mind saying them from a young age

isn't it yeah definitely you know and

it's not thinking of mom always says

don't let your feet go cold what she

wasn't someone else is great I love that

you know love it and it's not be enough

for example right now the time is what

time is it

11:14 11:40 11:40 in Zim it is 140 okay

it's 114 thing right now does that mean

that we're slower then we're not we're

in a different time zone we're not

slower than them you know and I said so

right you know someone graduated yeah

and they just wanted see or wait five

years before securing a good job and

someone became a CEO at the age of 25

but died at the age of 50 while someone

else became a CEO and the age of 50 and

leave till they were nine see Obama

retired as president at the age of 55

don't know Trump became president at the

age of 70 you know so everyone's in

their own time zone and people around

you they might seem like they I had a

few or some be behind you but everyone's

running the old race in their own time

so think of not being I just want to

point out quickly for the podcast he's

reading white Instagram right man ya

know but it makes so much sense which is

why we get along we think the same kind

of things so I'm sure your remains to us

[Laughter]

it's the truth but the problems with

society in like social media and stuff

is we are that in our food go cold I

suppose if you use that because we want

you cuz we're watching as a people I'm

not gonna sit here and say I don't do

that myself I'm conscious that it's not

the right thing to do six out of the

seven days a week

I don't do it but there are some days

when you get frustrated cuz you know you

want to be there but then is that thing

about trust in the process and we're

both average gym goers

we know what it's like to Broadway to

add strength to lose weight and stuff

and we know it's a process thing so so

that's really important

or what I switch gears just a little bit

we want to one of the next question

which is about routine now I always

believe where

product of our habits and the things we

tell ourselves and I think I know myself

personally but my routines on point my

days are on point and my goals and what

progression it moves forward but when

it's not it's completely off so I'm

gonna know is what's your kind of daily

routine that you do now having learned

all the lessons that you've had it since

coming from Zimbabwe to England and

going through school and then through

your social work where you probably see

more stuff than most people what's kind

of like your daily routine that keeps

you going okay wake up

people myself all been just now joking

right so obviously get on the treadmill

straightaway I get 45 minutes

frosted coffee or show a beauty show

coming up in about nine weeks where is

that show they'll be a staff to share

okay in Staffordshire then there'll be

another one two weeks after that in

staffing shared stuff and I'm not one

potentially after my Scotland you love

it yeah so at the moment I wake up to go

fasted cardio get in the shower then

have my breakfast and only just you know

breakfast I can have one to go on my way

to work

I'm going to work and probably listen to

songs because before he used to it

sounds like the radio and then I realize

that all the stars radio presenters they

irritate me

because I know guys their job or the

child or the rubbish yeah and most of it

is lies but that's what I have to do is

their job isn't it so there is anything

that's fine it's on the plate presenters

are talking I just feature a different

station with a drink and song at that

time I listen to radio for one now but

now I listen to something quite

motivational you know there's so many

motivational things that you finally

achieve and it takes me not too long to

get to work so I put that day's work is

finished and it's just climbed a little

something in my mind I've learned

something from that

Oh do and I get to work do I need to do

whilst at work you know how I can office

where people are always bringing cakes

my songs for breakfast and all this

difference and you know the donor so now

and then and I'm they even have a little

lunch boxes lunches you can have some

you're gonna have some you know and now

nobody even seems like a drink a cup of

tea they don't ask me for one because

they know that I'm not gonna have one

drink or take and condos weight so I can

teens tell me why I don't think into

idea how they're gonna say if you don't

know cause I've had these conversations

with my colleagues about you know having

the discipline to discipline and if you

are not there wish I was like you but he

can be only yesterday miss get right up

in the end until you get there you're

not gonna be able to see it starts here

it starts it starts all starts in the

head do memory right you can't you

actually can't and that's what I believe

I don't believe that you can't so you

can't you're not there until you believe

you can yeah anyway then of course the

gym after work I destroy my work out as

much as I can

go home and have a meal do it be a

reading after that cuz I've got about

two hours to find start getting ready

for bed and have my last meal and go to

bed okay that's a typical day and for me

don't get me wrong I work a stressful

job about something I think I think that

sometimes it's the stress would you make

it I'm not really a stress the stress T

person like that so for me I always try

to remain calm stay chilled and

sometimes the people that you know do

you ever like strength unlike what's

that gonna help

it's not gonna help me isn't American

things better it's not then I go see the

gym me in the gym is a space where I can

shut down you know just focus on why is

it fun to me

yeah it's a place for me there's times

that I going what gym about six times a

week

I don't want it went you know about six

times a week but now is the case of

discipline I'm just I'm there whether I

want to or that

do I wanna wake up frustrated with my

clothes every day

I don't want to see what I have to do I

do because I have seen you know people

saying are jungian up dry chicken out

dry chicken and veg again how do you

enjoy it I'm gonna enjoy I don't mean to

enjoy because nobody needs it

yeah it's about why I enjoy oh you can

season your chicken me you cannot

consistently so why don't you need to

enjoy it so have it yeah that's one that

I like that and the great thing about

that is it's transferable by anything or

anything because for me I've never

competed before these were first

bodybuilding competitions you know and

nothing to myself right

it's that pinnacle before I used to go

Jim it's just real weight you know try

and lift as heavy as I can they came

pretty strong but then what's next you

know cuz I catch a point in the gym I

think you know you know same old stuck

here for how many years not much changes

so if we know yeah jump our comfort zone

doing something that's gonna stretch

something you've never ever done before

so completes it and it's something I've

always wanted to do ok right this year

I'm gonna compete this you know is the

very first of December no sir right this

year I'm gonna compete that racism

nothing's happening so sometimes you

need to take action absolutely

absolutely

when it comes to do it that's a whole

different story some people some people

feel like they're doing push-ups oh they

getting bigger by just talking about it

oh yeah it's all pumped up the moment

and listen to motivational thing and

they're feeling grateful oh but 30

minutes per month okay now you're gonna

work and that work there and whatever it

is in life so say for instance if you

use my property for example a lot of the

stuff I do in this job it's not great

and sometimes people will look at it

from from their perspective and think oh

you've got the life you can work with

you on that listen when I accept my day

I hate doing these tasks but I have to

do it just in order to get my freedom

discipline equals freedom basically

that's how I see it

same with the gym so I'll get the smirk

remark

so you're always in the gym you're

addicted to the gym first I used to get

my back up a little bit because I didn't

want to be that guy but I'm like okay

that's fine

I'd rather be addicted to that then at

the same time similar to your son yes

I'd say three or four times a week I

really want to get to the gym because

you just you feel good you feel great

the other times and what I'm doing

sometimes I do to workout today as well

I don't wanna be there but I have to be

then I convince myself and I start

talking the struggle I go through my own

head to get myself to the gym that

morning is tough but it has to be

donated to become he's so happy now he's

like it's like when I breathe or when I

eat and drink it's just part of it this

is second nature

yeah everyone should do that because

like we said it's all transferrable into

anything if I can myself up my comfort

zone every single day and do that and

then do that with other tasks in my life

I either private casting ie my property

or my coaching or whatever then slowly

like with a gym progress it's gonna

start happening isn't it

you gotta start reaching them and look

doing things such as a meal prep I've

never used a real prayer never use the

meal prep and you know the whole results

have been working our fancy KFC KFC KFC

of course I why do I do that

dodge it corny ammonia sometimes all my

eat lunch and by the time just before

eating I'll be starving and I'll have

wiping stuck in order Big John's

astray if I were to be John's then go

Jesus laughter you cannot I work about

diet and stuff Engels now I could take

some 2,000 do four days worth of food

and I feel great yeah absolutely and now

it's a habit I believe in dreadmill prep

I enjoy heat and deciphering again man

motivation that's all if I say a - time

discipline lasts forever high-degree

wonder-percent I think I used to be a

person trainer not seven eight years and

I'm Cocorico need to like a coaching

aspect I suppose the people were so like

my property and business and stuff and

one of the first things I will say to

people when they approach me or can you

coach me for a kind of ability you help

me get get over this hurdle in my life

for example it's okay do you work out a

solution one of the first questions

asked which they probably don't expect

from the coach because I think you know

you're gonna give me some system or

something that you need to do for

business and the majority of them say no

I'm like well that needs to change

because the way I do my stuff is that's

the first thing we look at we focusing

on your health which I believe is your

biggest well you know healthy as well as

that kind of thing and your mind getting

that right and that's kind of how I look

at it so I think me going to the gym

especially for my boxing okay just

before meeting you doing the Masters has

been one of the biggest disadvantages I

had when I went to this property game in

this business game because I was like I

just take that work ethic where I was i

working everyone in the gym and i just

bring it into yeah okay i don't know as

much about property or business as most

people but most people start work about

knowing they work to about half i for

example you have about an hour and a

half at the dick you know for lunch then

looking at YouTube videos half way

through if I just wake up seven eight

o'clock but I don't have all that time

and I just work till seven eight o'clock

at night very very quickly over a couple

years I'll call back up if that makes

any sense that's kind of what I've done

it that of course yeah okay fantastic so

what is your biggest fear why is my

biggest fear okay um my biggest fear is

I would say to not be able to keep my

family they deserve what would change in

their day to day would it be that you

want to retire them from work or send

them on a holiday I mean what kind of

things in what will change them and then

moments wake up to what's work that

would be the main thing the choice did

you have the choice if they do choose to

go to work is our choice as long as they

have to yeah and at the moment is the

case of the clock see I thinks it's cuz

know we spend a lot of our time I work

more about time get home everyone's

tired or we the good gets a bed that's

your neo Cynthia as you know spend as

much time as you deal with them as you

do at work absolutely

for me I would like for my family to the

Opera Z what's the spin because that's

that's invaluable man thing is for us to

spend more time together spend more time

doing something that it does not really

benefit us you know the initial initial

amount of time that it got its that's my

biggest worry cuz it's not for you know

critics life is a predictor

you know things happen day in day out

actually I've seen this call he said

that we who die while still alive you

know you don't expect it to happen while

things happen and for me out of really

disappointed if I if something any fix

that happened and I'm not being able to

give my family the life that they

deserve

that's what my biggest fear okay good

answer good answer

okay so the next question is about

motivation I'd be lying I suppose if I

said there was a days where I struggled

to keep myself away I think I've touched

on this earlier you know gym stuff

and I'm pretty soon yourself had those

days as well I've yet to meet anybody

who doesn't need some level of

motivation or something that just keeps

on going on the days where they just

don't feel like doing it so I want to

know is on those days where you feel

like maybe you're in a funk or your

motivations gone and then he's just not

clicking in your head and you don't want

to go to the gym I know we touch on

discipline for example or you don't want

to go to it what is driving you on that

particular day okay I always think that

someone else is working harder that's me

by the way up in smoke okay if we are to

believe this you know the competition's

that I'm gonna do like I said I don't

wanna go to gym every day but I do

sometimes I'm in the gym I'm gonna

hundred percent I still give it

everything that came on that day yeah

you know I'll finish myself I want to be

standing on that stage and if I've lost

it's my cause I worked refused yeah I

want to lose with my head held high

okay there's nothing more that I

could've actually given me okay that's

what motivates me I don't understand

their thinking and if I want to think

that one day that's gonna be that we may

live so stop being of no wanting to be

outworked it's okay yeah you're gonna

lose okay we lose it but do not lose

cause I do not get oh yeah you know

that's Jim late but I'm Garcia

life in general I just touched up on my

knees that like they don't give for my

family

yes that's what motivates me to stop

being of man you can't afford to let

that grip slip

pushy and you know I'm always to you

more the fact that they're waking up a

goal to work that day when that day the

wake nuts got to work clay yeah that's

that's my motivation desperate like they

have to wake up for where that baby that

you have that makes sure you don't hit

that seems but exactly can I hear that

because I understand me my wife you

while I went on this journey where I was

self-employed and not really normally I

was literally carrying I had this much

money to spare another I need to get

remember me I need to pay for a coffee

any I was working my pennies out in a

bootstrapping but the thing that would

always get me out of bed was and I was

put my alarm I just put on for my wife

yeah so I'm like she's haven't talked to

work to support this I mean and that

used to keep me going every single day

that's so I hear that okay okay so now

you've heard the buzzer has just gone

off and we're at the fun part of the

show where I'm gonna put you through

your paces now the beautiful thing about

this is T doesn't know any of the

questions I'm gonna ask him so what I'm

gonna do is I'm gonna set the timer for

60 seconds okay so we're going to start

in three two one

the ability to fly or be invisible right

money your fame money Ronnie Coleman or

Auto Show Sega on favorite protein shape

flavor banana singing or dancing dancing

that Pixar YouTube YouTube Marvel or DC

model favorite TV show ever

would you rather than on how you would

die or when you were dying when you love

or money

love books or movies if you can sit with

one person in the world or an hour with

me you'll probably be in Iraq your worst

fear growing up was snakes what is your

biggest addiction

my biggest addiction is Jim summer

winter summer your favorite place in the

whole way your zoom speak or languages

will be able to speak to animals

sweet harmonies if you could abolish one

thing in the world for many P racism

your favorite song ever last ones

Jacob read minds or predict the future

your favorite superhero

my pramantha probably one of mine yeah

yeah okay so but nearly there's just a

couple of more questions left and the

next one's on reflection so hi inside

some wonderful thing and upon reflection

we can always think of ways to get to

where we currently are quicker easier or

with less heartache but I also guess the

journey teaches us a lot as well I'm a

strong believer in trusting the process

and enjoying the process so what I want

to know is if you could go back in time

to that one moment where you really

struggled and suffered with the

adversity so if you use the university

example and you can just whisper

something in the air of a younger T

knowing what you know now what would you

tell yourself when I tell myself be

proactive

no one's gonna keep this to you you can

do this

no one can race you come on your ways

for you you're gonna do but in so we are

actually at the last question then if in

a hundred and fifty years time science

fails to save all of us we're no longer

here and well that exists is a book on

the life of T by the way you can choose

up for the title and on that book it's

it can be as big as you want but

somebody's walking past what will make

that person pick it up right so what I

want to know is what would the blue say

and what would the total of that book

say about you okay okay something Godsey

I mean that I'm always there so someone

who just worked hard to chase the

American dream for their family just

finally in America

yeah people's attention but that it's

truly the only company okay title title

the British dream says a guy it's very

hard to get there make

they're gonna be thinking this author

has no idea where my story my story my

right there's not right or wrong answer

good answer good answer so that you've

heard it you've heard like an

unbelievable story of somebody who's

coming from a place where many of us who

are listening to this now haven't had to

come from I suppose and I studied with

tea at University and a lot of this I

never knew myself so it's it's been

inspiring for myself to hear this

especially when I sit back and I think

about when we were doing coursework and

I used to struggle with the English

English language myself so just to think

how hard it must have been for you as

well it just makes you appreciate how

fortunate we all are before we leave I

am I always like to ask my guests if

they could just give us one place where

we could reach out to you I'll probably

say snapchat realistically okay these

more than anything that's fine you and

your username infrastructure catcher

Freeman catch a Freeman okay fantastic

I'll put that in the show notes

I'm will probably put your Instagram in

there as well because I find it

inspirational there's a lot of great

quotes bill on my Instagram okay but

there's also a lot of their training

footage as well and bespoke prior to

this interview as well teas on the

transformation where he's gone from just

under probably 100 kg down to like 7 e

ie I think at the minute and it's

probably gonna get lower so it just

shows you that if you really trust the

process in your work hard you can really

get to where you want to get to and I

just wanna say thank you for coming down

really appreciate it

and tirana home thanks for listening and

remember this podcast is absolutely free

so all we ask in return is for you to

share this with a friend and drop us a

five star review over on iTunes have an

awesome day

#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Find your voice - Episode 8 - Memoirs of an Anxious Mind - Cos Kyriacou

Tagline: "To HIM its just a game, playing with my mind. An easy target for HIM, he always seems to find. He always seems to be there to put me in my place, lurking and scheming like a puff of smoke up in my face..."

Cos is a talented Poet who has found his voice by utilising the power poetry in speaking about his depression and anxiety. Riddled with many trials and tribulations growing up Cos has battled with suicidal thoughts from time to time.

Now determined to conquer his mindset working on his health, thoughts and gifts he is looking to help those struggling with mental health illness more.

Alongside this, Cos is also a qualified Accountant and Personal Trainer and this is just some of his hidden talents. He kindly shares one of his poems, HIM, in this podcast and I am sure once you hear this you will follow him over on his instagram channel to learn more about him and hear so many more powerful poems.

Thanks for listening

Free Audible book sign up:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21

Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Links to guest:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cmklifestyle/ (Personal)

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindfullfitness/ (Movement

#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice

[Music]

welcome to an episode of find your voice

a movement led by yours truly

Aren do a guy who has overcome

crippling anxiety adversity and

difficulty like so many of you in life

whose main goal now is to help you

combat your excuses take control of your

life write your own story and most

importantly find your voice so now

without further ado I welcome the host

of the show himself mr. Aren do what's

going on people thank you for tuning in

to another episode of find your voice my

name is Aren and as always I am the

host of the show so like many of my

guests I get really really passionate

and excited to try and support them and

I suppose that's the beautiful thing

about this show because it's real people

doing real things just like me and you

I'm really trying to make a difference

and today's guest is no different

today's guest goes by the name of Kos

and I do apologize in advance but I

can't pronounce their surname but you're

going to get all of that in the show

notes but what's important about this

individual is what they've been through

in their life and I suppose even more

important than that is how they've

tackled their adversity they've tackled

their mental health their depression

their feelings of suicide and really

come out on the other side and now what

they're doing is making an impact to

help other people and that's just my

kind of person and I'm sure it's

probably your kind of person too so I

think it's important that rather than

you listen to me whoo yes once again I

have a cold I think that's gonna be a

theme of this show let's jump straight

into this interview

okay so firstly I just want to thank

cause for coming on to the show today

and for all you listeners who are here

supporting our movement so my friend how

you doing today good morning I'm good

not as early as you Baba fantastic you

like to hear you well we've had a bit of

technical issues and it is slightly

earlier than normal so excuse our voices

cool so you've heard the introduction

I've explained cause his story but what

I want to know well I think what the

listeners want to know is more about

yourself from you and I think it's

important that they can get to

understand your story you

journey and how you basically progress

through life and ended up where you are

today so if you wouldn't mind my friend

if you could just give us a rundown

basically of the life of cause the life

of course easily hey I think it's best

to start where I am now and then kind of

go through how I got here so I'm a

qualified charted accountant sounds

riveting ah no he says exciting as it

sounds

whoo guys recently qualified in December

and in the new year I've gone part time

to kind of tramp pursue my own endeavors

in life so starting from the beginning I

was stopped when I was born because I'm

quite old now or in my own eyes I'm old

but I don't like to use the word suffer

but I've had anxiety my whole life and

now been listening to your your shows

haven't they been amazing by the way I

appreciate that thank you just listen to

your different guests you know struggles

they've had to go through and obstacles

they face for me I've always felt it

difficult to kind of ask for help

because I've had I've had such a good

life in something upbringing

and the situation I'm in I've had

amazing parents I've never had to ask

for anything not that was slow in any

sense but I was given everything I

needed clothes water the essentials and

that but from an early age I just felt I

was different kind of like I had these

voices in my head I used to think it was

it was good it was someone else I really

don't know what it was and I find this

went through life with it at school I

never really felt like I fit in whereas

on the outside poori it probably seemed

like I was that guy good at his work

gone along with people but I kind of

quiz my anxieties I threw myself into my

work so I think into studying into being

the best I can in that sense so I just

didn't feel comfortable socializing I

didn't feel comfort with myself and then

saw some much easier CSIS etc I left for

six one

I changed sixth one then and that's when

I started to spiral a bit looking back

now it's funny because I can see all my

catalysts I can see why I feel the way I

did

where is at the time I just had no idea

what's going on I'm just in my own mind

so for me what gets me a look is change

and uncertainty and new things and

especially socializing in in new

environments so change into a new sixth

form with people I didn't know new

subjects just threw me off completely

and it might sound stupid some people

because this is such a simple thing but

for me the biggest fact thing anyone can

handle is their own mind and that's

something I've always struggled with yes

I might not have had big thermal in my

life a lot of people have but a lot of

people live in with their own minds and

try about that every day and people need

to appreciate that

it is hard for a lot of people mm-hmm so

yeah went to I went to six-month picking

up from then and firstly was extremely

hard for me

I was probably on the debts of

depression where it's back then I think

we know what the pressure was so I

didn't really see as that I just felt it

was me so my family helped me through a

lot I got through a levels my second

year beta it was great because I was

more comfortable in my environment and

then applied for university got good

grades and got into UCL to study

economics and I think at UCL was the

first time I really but I understand

what the pressure was I start to go

through it so I'm still living at home

traveling to London every day and just

didn't feel like I fit in they're always

comparing myself to others that I wasn't

good enough to be there and then I

started getting suicidal food so I stand

on train tracks and my mind we kill him

to jump and yeah I in my mind I've - I

know myself cuz I've never had those

thoughts before and I'm in the past I've

never when I've heard people who commit

suicide or taken her own life I've never

understood it but in that moment and now

I've been through it that's the only

place you see confort is by not being

here not being with your mind

Wow is that is that kind of a thing that

you've you've convinced yourself that it

would just be better off yeah a hundred

percent it's like you explore different

options so when I start to feel anxious

or when I'm gonna extremely the prostate

I start to look

look at the fact that across the green

on the other side so I was at UCO and I

was saying to my mom

I'm gonna quit I'm just gonna get job

I'm gonna apply to a different Union I'm

gonna do this I'm gonna do that I always

try and wash one away because then all

that anxiety all that all that hurt will

be gone and over you place into

something new so that's the first time I

started seeing a counselor Britt at UC

oh and while I was at UCL I write to

another university again seeing that the

grass is green on the other side just

want to get out of it so I started

studying for my exams at UCL it's about

April time and then I've got

confirmation that I was given another

place at Royal Holloway University I've

been sorry okay and I thought to myself

you know what it's not worth the toilet

turn won't burn through I'd literally

write vice for all my exams the weekly I

was gonna sit there but I decided that's

it I'm not sitting them because I just

want this this kind of cloud to be over

so I quit or I gave up UCL and

straightaway I just felt that count has

been lifted

I felt so good then I was like you know

what this is what I need like my next

university is gonna be amazing I'm gonna

find so yeah that summer was great and

then September moved up to roll away to

stop my new course and in the same thing

started comparing myself to others new

situation a lot of social anxiety I

didn't go out a lot in my first year and

like I'd hear people in the kitchen

drinking and stuff and I just be in my

room

just with my own thoughts Wow and I'm

glad today I have amazing friends and

amazing flat I'm still in touch with and

that's friends with your good may as

well

fears off so she helped me through a lot

even if she doesn't know it and by

getting my first year of uni I was

thinking I need to apply to another uni

it's gonna be better on the other side I

need to take my course something to do

this I applied for a job and luckily you

know I was convinced to stay I lost my

first year went on to the second year

and that is the biggest term like my

life is the second year I just spiraled

out of control just in myself

among thoughts just not being able to

call or be in social situations with

people my first day my room up my mum my

sister would always come and visit me to

make sure I was okay because they were

extremely worried about me of course

like I used to lock myself in my room

then and research how to end my life

because it's the only way I can see an

end to it and I knew how wrong that that

was and the the only thing that stopped

me from ever doing it then was yes my

family like what we do to them but I'm

actually getting emotional saying this

sorry man please take your time

but yeah the most it's really silly but

the thing that stopped me was I wouldn't

end my life right and my parent would

have to look after me and like her in a

state where I think people looking after

myself yeah sorry man no no I can only

imagine what what you're going through

because my level of desire is nothing

compared to your level of depression and

we spoke briefly before we had this

interview that you know it took the best

8 years of my mom's life away and I

think unless you live with somebody

who's going through or somebody it's so

difficult because from the surface I

mean you look at your Instagram you look

at yeah the way the way you conduct

yourself your poetry which you're going

later on in the interview it's just like

this kind of depression you know you

just know isn't no more that is it

normally is somebody you can relate to

but it's it's amazing how some it's not

something so simple but something like

your mind can just completely just yet

turn your world upside down and it's one

of my favorite quotes ever and I

probably say to myself at least six or

seven times a week not because I do it

but because it just helps with things

into perspective and it's comparison is

the thief of joy you said that you had

ins ie from a very young age and I mean

I'm 32 now and I'm kind of peeling back

the onion layers using an analogy of

when I started getting anxiety and I

think yes having reflected and looking

back at myself I'm able to find certain

moments in my life like when I was six

or seven I was at

shit I was actually quite anxious then

and then maybe that's really kind of

snowboard have you been able to in your

current situation not be able to look

back and find these key triggers or have

you always just known yourself to be

anxious no a hundred percent if I knew

one who I knew now about myself I could

have controlled a lot of what happened

to me and not let it happen

could you elaborate so my anxieties my

catalysts are changed like new

situations where that's a new job new

University a new subject I'm studying

uncertainty so I'm a perfectionist as I

said before I used to put myself into my

work and just try and excel at that so

if I'm not the best at something I start

to get anxious might sound stupid but

that's just the way I am so it's not

stupid

so you've always had this in psyche yeah

and now you knowing what you know now

you've said you can obviously look back

and think I could have changed stuff

what kind of things I mean I'm thinking

practical things here for somebody who's

maybe a little bit younger than

ourselves who's going through this

moment they're just constantly anxious

have changed like yourself and being in

these kind of environments what would

you kind of say to them now the one

number one thing does has helped me the

most about anything is talking about it

so talking about how you feel because I

would often just keep everything balled

up inside me and whereas today I'm open

as hell honesty oh are you guys to swear

on this podcast may you can do whatever

you want thank fuck for that that's fine

some people might not like that but you

know sometimes it's one of the only ways

you can express it sometimes one or two

episodes myself so

not a problem mate so yes second year of

university extremely down I went to saw

a doctor there who prescribed me after

depressants and I'm back then I had

never taken a tablet in my life not even

a paracetamol just nothing I was just

against putting foreign substances in my

body so I got prescribed down to their

presence I went and got them but I did

not take them and I came back home for

Christmas and I was just so so bad one

day my dad leave she just got me in the

car drove me off the sorry and when he

mom didn't say hello to any of my

housemates

just went in my drawer guys I depress

we drove all the way back home to North

London and I started taking them and

they helped me massively they're there

they're a tool for helping you they're

not a magic pill that's gonna make

everything go away could you have to put

you have to put other things in your

life that's gonna help you get through

but they definitely help just balance

out the chemicals in your brain and the

way you think think mm-hmm and so I

started taking them must I've seen a

therapist as well and then I started

going to the gym again so I was injured

at the time I got really depressed they

my substitute but I had a fun injury

okay that's unique yeah so I couldn't

really lift weights and so as soon as

that healed in the new year that's like

a gym again I started feeling good I

stopped them seeing my therapist even

though he advised me to carry on and I

finished my second year third year was

great really enjoyed it when I almost I

had finished uni over to 1/2 percent off

at first which again I beat myself up

again about don't beat yourself up today

I by the time I was in tears that

literally so fun and and then yeah

applied for a job took me eight months

to get a job and I had no idea what to

do with my life was planned for

everything in anythink mmm

got over Owen into accountancy and then

start here and then things that I

spiralling down again so and even

probably even deeper depression I had in

my second year and the extreme that

suicidal thoughts I just didn't know

what I want to do with my life

especially working full-time and

studying and studying for something you

didn't you didn't really want like I

didn't know if I wanted to be an

accountant up in all this effort into it

what am i what am i giving to other

people what I'm given to the world by

being an accountant

that's just how and I just didn't see me

doing anything else so I I said to my

mom not gonna quit and the Khan teach

I'm gonna quit and do this and quit and

do that and my mom bless her she she's

helping me a lot but I know how

frustrating it is she understands fully

johnstad 3 but I know how frustrating is

to try and help someone who nothing

seems to help themselves and you can see

the same things happening again in terms

you wanted to just change again to a new

situation

so I stopped taking as the presents when

I was at Union swell after that Sigma

period and I was at work I cited them

again I'm slicing the therapist again

and a major thing that helped me get

through if I did not do this I would not

have qualified to try to count and I may

not be alive today I'm being honest with

you I told him what I told myself about

my depression so I went spokes in

managers I went spoke the partners in

the firm and they were so so good about

it honestly

that's brilliant like they helped me

massively they put things in place for

me and I felt I could go and talk to

people about it more mm-hm so yeah it

was tough as hell and I qualified about

this December just gone so I'm currently

in the process of coming up mad for the

presents fantastic

I'll be off them in about two weeks I've

definitely felt some side effects but

they start to wear off and I'm feeling

good about life now and the most

important thing about anything that

being through mum I don't like to use

the word happy up being through it I'm

kind of I'm glad for which taught me and

so six months ago if I was doing this

podcast review I know I was in tears a

little bit before but I would not be

able to talk about this with with

anybody whereas now I don't give a fuck

I put it on Instagram I talk about

trying to speaking about their feelings

especially especially as a man today in

the society there's so much many

pressures a lot of stance what about 100

percent mate it's a it's an ego maybe

surprise thing I don't know what it is

with guys we don't realize that

vulnerability is actually a true

strength and I spoke about this

previously again I'd recommend if you

can listen to Lewis Howes I think he's

got a book the mask of masculinity and

it's a fantastic book because I think as

guys you're doing something there that

is something that we don't do and I'm

not stereotyping it but how many of us

really talk about stuff when we feel oh

because it's a bravado thing isn't it we

can't show weakness we can't show that

we're feeling down or low and I think

the reason I was really interested in

getting you on this show is or because

you've touched on something there so we

spoke about the social enterprise that

I'm working on with my

we're going to get back to mental health

and awareness the first question asked

though was what do you want like if we

raise awareness is it money is it like

materialistic things what kind of things

would make you guys feel better and she

says somebody should talk to you and

that brings us to the whole thing that

we spoke about prior to this episode is

I'm gonna open up just centers I'm gonna

hire them for the day get people who are

going through it people who have

overcome it to just maybe talk about it

and I know that might sound like such a

simple thing from the outside but you've

touched on it now as well

the world needs to speak it's the

simplest of things look us I say to

everyone I don't see anxiety as an

illness this is my this is my personal

opinion yeah everyone has anxiety but

just different levels of a spectrum

depression is the lowest of the low thus

that that's an illness that's something

you can you need to case of our but the

difference between me and the guys

sitting next to me the only difference

between us is I can talk about it now I

talk about it that's the only difference

the guy still has anxiety 100% different

maybe different levels different aspects

in his life but he just doesn't talk

about it that's the difference and by

talking about it which you've been doing

more openly now and some of it's through

your poetry is all which is fantastic as

well have you genuinely seen like a

shift in like your overall moods and did

the severity of your laws as well Oh

100% like if I have a load they know if

I don't know they in the past I come

home and I keep all my stuff where it's

I come home now and thank what my sister

is my rock honestly I would not be

honestly hands-down I would not be alive

about her today and she has she's not

been through depression

touchwood and thank God but even so as

hard it was for her to help me she was

just there to listen even if she didn't

understand she was just there to listen

and put small things in place to me for

me and so yeah I remember this one time

at university when I was when I was home

for that Christmas when I was really bad

I had an essay to write and I told her I

just can't do it I'm gonna quit but she

literally sat down with me and made me

write for five minutes at a time when we

go and have a break and come back on

write for five minutes so that's amazing

yeah she's been amazing and you're

fortunate

to have that because there's so many

people out there you may not necessarily

have that kind of support network as

well yeah because like you've touched on

it's an illness and it's because it's

not physical because it's not like your

thumb for example or yeah you know

somebody's leg broken or something it's

it's internal and again because people

aren't speaking what we're doing is

we're masking everything with it with it

with a smile or Facebook post or

Instagram post but deep down we've

rarely know what somebody's going

through exactly it's just scary and I

think I think living with it is scary so

I can only imagine what you're going

through so again I just want to say

thank you for for really sharing the

story no problem I just want to say um

thank what I've not been in the press

date for about two and a half years now

yes I live with anxiety but I am knowing

that press date and I'm I will fight my

my utmost not to go back there and help

anyone else to come out absolutely and

I'm not I'm not in a position to give

you any advice having not been through

what you've been through but yeah then

there's a simple quote we use it for our

for our business that me or mom are

going to start it's okay not to be okay

yeah I don't know it sounds simple but

it's so important that we understand

that because myself I mean I don't

suffer with depression but I will wake

up on it on a Monday or a Tuesday it

could be any day of the week and I will

be in an absolute funk and I'm like why

do I feel like shit like nothing's gone

wrong like you know my health is they're

my wife's happy my mom's fine

there's nothing actually happened in

that day I've slept well but then you

know what you just you just feel really

low and you got like no motivation and

stuff and I used to beat myself up about

that because I just think I've got so

much stuff to do I need to change the

world I need to do this at least get

myself up now it's kind of like I

literally say that quote to myself it's

okay not to be okay and all I'll do is

on that particular day or do stuff like

I'll go to the gym I'll try and keep my

nutrition as well as possible because

obviously that helps your mind and

everything I try and speak with my wife

or my brother or my mom in the day just

to kind of cheer me up and I might still

be in a bit of a funk to the end of the

day but the next day it all washes over

rather than me dwelling on it and then

hating myself like throughout the week

that kind of makes sense so it's

fantastic that it's been like two and a

half years and there for yourself coming

off it but if you ever do find yourself

perhaps going a bit lower just know

that listen mate you've come out of it

so many times yeah kicking and fighting

you're doing great that it will be okay

and you'll be alright you next thing I

appreciate I know and and such know what

you said I've learned that saw so on

days from the rule of and you you won't

know why but you just have to take some

time out for yourself and on those days

even today I've made wake up and I might

feel a bit low I know I know deep down

there is something causing that maybe

not the day before maybe not on that day

but a week my ass something I didn't

tackle where it was on my to-do list

which is still bugging me yeah or

someone I didn't talk to or someone I

said something to which is bugging me

bugging me now and why I feel low so I

personally I think there's always a root

cause somewhere it's not always easy to

find

mmm there's always something that's

that's led you to feel that way I think

you're right there somebody else

mentioned this actually I think it was

on Episode three and it's about finding

that that deep meaning and I think

because we're so most of us wake up in

the world whatever is on our phone or I

email a job it will it will dictate our

date we very rarely get time to sit back

and actually reflect upon our life our

circumstances in our situations and I

think if we could do that probably have

less of those days because it is

probably a cumulative effect of things

propping up and then you've got this

level of like I don't know burden or

anxiety or something that will kind of

just hit you on one day and you're

sitting there thinking what's going on

here but it's actually like you said

possibly something that's that's

happened a few days ago that's powerful

so the funny thing is it's like there's

no like magic secret is there they're

not I mean if there was then the world

wouldn't struggle a bit like Fitness

yeah if we had the magic pill nobody

would be obese and it's kind of finding

I suppose did you touched on it earlier

his voice you've got this toolkit now

yes the the antidepressant tablets help

you control the chemical imbalance

that's going on but you've also got a

toolkit of stuff that you've probably

had through your therapist yeah those

who probably gives you different tools

that you can literally bring out as and

when you need them because that's kind

of how my mom explains it as well a

hundred percent like I'm kind of

reinvent the tools they gave me to work

for me

so something that I do massively when I

feel extremely anxious I don't if you've

seen on my Instagram or that bar split

page into and I'm one on one side I

write my negative feelings and emotions

and on the other side I write a healthy

point of view and it just helps me

conceptualize how I'm feeling it kind of

brings you out of my brain onto paper

and kind of I can actually write down a

different way of or view in it mmm yeah

your Instagram is brilliant and you're

gonna get the oddest friend requests by

the way because I've asked my mom to

follow your Instagram because some of

your stuff is like I can't get some of

it like I get like 80% of it send me

because I've lived with my mom my mom

was like my best well she is my best

friend and and I'll sin what he's done

like taken away from her life so it's

kind of I know that if she can read your

messages and listen to your poetry I

mean you know huh no gtv sorry your

stories your Instagram stories it will

help and it resonate with her so yeah

I'm obviously gonna put all the links

for the listeners as well to know your

social medias at the end of it because I

think it's really important that you've

seen someone who's yeah you you're not

fully 100% over it at the minute but

you're dealing with it and you're

dealing with it in the best way and each

time you're getting better better

equipped and hopefully somebody who's

probably earlier down the journey they

can benefit from yourself and this is

the whole point of this podcast is that

they can learn from your your experience

of suppose and hopefully change their

life for the better sooner exactly

that's that's the thing like I am NOT

I'm not perfect I'm not free to storm

you never will because life just

frustrate you all the time I've come and

but the only thing I can do is just try

and help people through how I try to

help myself

mmm and you are so yeah just try and be

as real as I can on Instagram you know

let people know how much it days because

Instagram is a is a fake world really it

isn't it's a highlight reel is which is

why I appreciate like your content so

keep that going buddy I'm gonna switch

the pace a little bit now so I know some

of the stuff that you do on a daily

basis but I think it's important for the

listeners who have heard about your

story to understand what your daily

routine is like so I'm a big big

believer that we are the results of the

thoughts we tell ourselves and really

habits and so what's your daily routine

from the moment you wake up to the

moment you go to sleep well or every day

is different and I'm not gonna I can't

lie to you hmm

I don't have a daily routine I'm still

trying to work out myself in terms of I

know what what would work well for me

but I haven't put it in place so I've

listened to one of your podcast one of

your early ones about the guy who used

the miracle morning that's right yeah

chin very good friend yeah I knew that

was a great podcast by the way thank you

so yeah I bet the miracle morning thing

was last year and I started putting a

lot of things into practice in the

morning not felt great and but then

exams came around again from my accounts

and I just fell off it well I have

certain things I do during a week rather

than a daily routine a daily routine is

something I'm working on in 2019 okay I

need to incorporate meditation I need to

incorporate leaving my phone out of my

room in the end of the day because that

just adds to anxiety mm-hmm so things

that I do on a weekly basis to try and

help me and relieve my stress is number

one you probably see a lot on Instagram

I love my Costa Coffee yeah I love going

there by myself taking a book reading

maybe writing some poetry just sitting

there watching the world and just being

comfortable in my own thoughts I love my

alone time now and another big thing

daily is Jim obviously so I usually

through that after work and it literally

just puts me in a difference day of

night it's almost like meditation

absolutely almost like meditation and

you're just there with your own thoughts

music in or not and you're just

concentrating on pushing the way up

you're not thinking about your past

decisions you made you not think about

the future you're just in that moment

there and then so that helps me

massively another daily routine meal

prep obviously every morning but yeah

I'm I'm still learning I'm still

learning about routines and I will have

it together soon but like you've touched

down there even myself my routine

changes from like year to year because

you always you're almost tweaking it so

I've done the whole waking up at 4:00

a.m. and then working my ass off

but then what would happen is at two

o'clock in the afternoon you not crash

and let's sleep for like an hour and a

half because I'm absolutely knackered so

then I was like this is pointless and so

then I mixed it up and now it's like

I'll wake up at 6 or 7 it depends on

basing my day so if you'll get an early

podcast or I forgot like an investor

medium or something like that then I'll

tweak it but generally speaking I don't

really care what time I wake up because

I believe it's what you do in the day

but you've got some great habits in

there like like the gym the meal prep I

mean that you're feeding your body

you're feeding your mind there so it's

about utilizing your time and taking

chunks out of the day where you can

really be productive in terms of

whatever your end goal is and a great

book that I've read that is gonna help

me put that my favorite Wiens practice

is called the room of the rhythm of life

by Matthew Kelly the rhythm of life ok

so I know you you follow my mindful

fitness page yeah yeah I do I've

recently just started following that

yeah

that's that's in the making and my

therefore mindful fitness is stemming

off that book really so what walks about

in that book is you have essential means

in life to survive so you have you have

oxygen you have a young Ward so you need

those things or you will die

but what people often neglect is their

legitimate needs and there's four of

these and we collect them because we're

too busy day today which is so

fast-paced in our lives and but those

four needs our physical needs so

nutrition and exercise emotional needs

which is relationships with people where

that's going to get coffee with a friend

talking someone haven't talked in a long

time then you have your spiritual needs

a bit harder to define for me it's just

being being comfortable yourself

spending some alone time with through

meditation going for a walk in nature

and the fourth one is intellectual needs

which is knowledge and learning new

things and we often neglect a lot of

those and one trying to do is encompass

those in my life and try and help people

encompass those in this because when one

of those things are off that's when your

anxiety will spike yeah yeah that's so

interesting that's powerful I'm gonna

I'm gonna attach that book actually the

rhythm of life by Matthew Kelly you said

yeah yes brilliant Kay I'll add that to

obviously you're you've got to Instagram

pages as well would you at the bottom so

I'll have a look at that I appreciate

that buddy thank you look into that

fantastic okay so

the next question is about adversity and

what I want you to do is if you could go

back in time and think of a time that

you faced great adversity but you

persevered through it so just one

particular time and I want you to

explain how you won obviously the

adversity to how you got through it and

three what are the lessons that you

taught you at the end of it oh Jesus

Christ

get your thinking cap on okay my figured

you know you know I said to you before

this podcast you sent me the questions

in that and I was gonna happen little

read about them you haven't read all of

you know what last night yeah I upgraded

my iPhone on Saturday and it delete

whatsapp conversations lost by a 10

o'clock and I was like sheets messages

just suck up do it which is why I think

this episode so far is so intriguing

fascinating because everything you're

saying is if you know it's not you

haven't scripted it out it's literally

just you speaking from the heart so I

always find that more authentic the

reason I do give the questions that

before is just because some people

suffer with is ie exactly okay well you

hear anyway the question has been asked

just have a have a few moments again any

dead time and stuff I can always edit it

how so I'll probably cost me because

like a particular situational moment

because there just been so many my life

and I've had to come out of well

probably my latest one is just

qualifying as a child accountant loads

of adversity faced there whether it was

work just not seeing myself was good

enough in septal workout producing the

knowledge that I have and just comparing

myself to others that within my firm

sort of thing and yet having to go back

on antidepressants was a big blow for me

it helped me massively enough if anyone

is taken out to the presence there's

absolutely nothing against them I was on

a about 20 milligrams a citalopram if

any of you listeners know just stop give

them the information and I've been on

that for about three years since I like

my job

there's no comment and slowly slowly I

was prescribed

ten just before Christmas so 10

milligrams taking one every day for two

weeks and then I take one every other

day

for two weeks and now I'm in a process

of just taking two tablets a week for

the next two weeks and I'll be off them

and yes I defects for anyone gran out

there there are massive side effects so

I did feel a lot more rumination come

into play so just kin stuff very a lot

more emotional and very snappy er people

close to me I love my family so I

apologise to them on here I'm sure I

understand

yeah and very very tired and lethargic

but now honestly I feel amazing honestly

I really do feel good brilliant mate

okay so the next question it's we're

going to get to happiest if I show you

so today it's a memory but but the next

question is what is your biggest fear my

biggest fear is probably going back into

a depressed state massively that's my

biggest fear

and the fear of that I think helps me

keep keep out of it and is that through

your daily discipline like the stuff

that you doing the stuff you you're

saying to yourself 100% like things I

say to myself just be more open and

talking now and actually feeling like I

have something comments to pursue like I

honestly believe I've been through what

I've been through for a reason as

everyone will probably say but I'm on

this earth not not to be an accountant

like I love my job and I love the people

I work with but my true calling is just

to help people help themselves

just bring me talking about experiences

and everyone can do that and you will do

you helping me and I've gone through it

myself even just some of the stuff you

say you know it's making so much more

sense but we are a result of the things

we tell ourselves then just on that

point I think that's really important

it's something I'm trying to get my mom

and anyone on all going through that

similar situation to do as well because

a very very quick example a little bit

about myself is yeah suffering with

anxiety and be shy I've always basically

walked looking at the floor kind of like

with a hunchback if you can kind of

imagine that so my hands in my pocket

and I've never really making eye contact

with anyone and I'm just kind of walking

and I remember recently I think it was

about two weeks ago we went for some

food and I said

my friends I hadn't seen for about six

months and he goes have you gotten

taller and I was like what like puberty

when a long time ago me and he was like

no you've gotta be like taller and I was

like well I've always been this tall so

I'm like I'm just six foot eight six

foot and I was kind of like just the

same height as in and you kind of

shocked and what I realized was so I've

been doing like affirmations and telling

myself stories every single morning is

part of my morning ritual and one of the

things is I am confident I am no longer

shy I am and I would say well these

empowering words to myself and without

realizing it without even thinking about

it my physical body had changed which I

just find fascinating that's somebody

who I've known for like the best part of

16 years had come up to miss it man

you've just grown a few inches but it's

because my demeanors changed now my

chest is proud and that there's no level

of arrogance or anything in that it's

just I'm just confident knowing myself

and I'm not this shy anxious person who

scared the world or what people will say

about me I'm comfortable in my own skin

and the other thing about you is you're

going to the gym and you're getting

bigger so that's probably right my

foodstuffs I do try and eat out

brilliant so we spoke about your fear

what is your motivation then what keeps

you going even on the days when you're

in a funk for example lucky gentleman

what keeps me going is knowing I'm here

for a bigger reason than myself mmm

deep down when I still help him my

family around me helping friends helping

people I don't even know and that reach

out to me not try not good as much as I

can but just believed I found something

caught truly believing and anyone out

there like I know how hard it is to not

know your purpose it like be being a job

or be a plan for job in a union not know

what what a fuck you want to do of your

life

yeah and it doesn't matter how would you

get it I believe one day we'll just

spark like if you asked me a year ago

what when I do I have no idea and

whereas things have just lights

sparking and you know pulling into place

and that will happen for you it's just

about whether you're you're willing to

take the risk to go and pursue those

dreams that's all it is I love that that

is so true and I think I always urge

people now so even like my younger

brother

I urge people to just try new things and

do different things because 12 months

ago May being a podcast host was

probably the last thing I'd ever want to

do other than it'll be an out of a plane

I mean and I'm at I'm actually debated

whether I'm gonna do that in the next

year or so jumping out the plane safely

should we say yeah trying anything crazy

obviously with it with all this right

people around but it's weird how you how

your passion just develops my actual

passion now is like you said it's making

that true impact it's making that

difference in life so yeah the beautiful

thing with that is is forcing me to come

out of my comfort zone hence doing a

podcast hence putting myself out there

on social media and doing this podcast

opening that business with more mommies

it's crazy to think that I would have

been doing this because I just didn't

think I would so I think you've hit the

nail on the head there people should

just go out there take that risk trust

that it will fall into place because I

truly believe it won't but at the same

time everyone's journey is different so

just because it's falling I think in

place for somebody out there he doesn't

necessarily mean it's going to be the

same for you it could be at 22 or it

could be at 50 but don't don't compare

basically what I'm trying to say exactly

because I've people might look at me and

say oh he's a qualified accountant he

saw it for life now I'm just I've chosen

to go part-time comma salary you know

money doesn't money you need it

unfortunately you need money but I'm

focused on my happiness right now when

I'm going part-time to to actually go

for what I truly want to do okay

fantastic so there you've heard the

buzzer and we are now in the fun part of

this show so this is a quickfire 60

seconds where I'm gonna be asking costs

all sorts of wonderful and weird

questions and the beautiful thing is he

hasn't read the show notes so you have

no idea what I'm gonna ask him and

they're not the same questions as always

I do like to mix it up a little bit but

so please are you ready buddy I'm ready

okay we're gonna start in 3 2 1

okay the ability to fly or be invisible

fly money or fame fame singing or

dancing singing

Netflix on YouTube that thinks Marvel or

DC I don't watch evil okay Batman or

Superman Superman favorite TV show ever

oh Jesus Christ soprano would you rather

how you will die or when you were dying

when I would die love or money

love books or movies books if you could

sit with one person in the world for an

hour who would it be my sister your

worst fear growing up getting older what

is your biggest addiction Instagram if

you could abolish one thing in the world

what would it be depression your

favorite song ever compete J : Drake any

songs French or Spanish Spanish pizza or

steak

they comedy or horror comedy and the

last one which is completely random

which is wizards which is the funny

thing is I wrote these like a long time

ago so I'm looking at it myself to get

what okay brilliant

the answer about your sister as well I

think I think she's gonna love to hear

this back I'm sure you tell her anyway

on a daily basis but if you're anything

like me sometimes I shy away from

telling the people I love the most I

care for him so much and it's probably

something that I should do as well but

so we run to the one but last question

and this one's always about reflection

because I always believe hindsight is a

wonderful thing and upon reflection we

can always think of ways to get to where

we are quicker easier or we less

heartache and we wouldn't be the people

we are today if it wasn't for the

process I've been through so what I want

to know is if you could go back in time

to that one moment where you really

struggled and suffered with adversity

and you could just whisper something in

your ear knowing exactly what you know

now what would you say say to yourself

oh I probably tell myself to tell people

how you feel and because yeah it's

extremely hard even by looking back and

even the you for today it's hard to

express how you feel whether that's

because you're gonna be mocked on social

media your friends won't understand

because of different maturity levels ah

yeah just be just just talking about how

you feel just talk about it I love that

and I want to get you to do if you don't

mind one of your poems now I think

because you've been through it you

couldn't you can hear the passion in

your voice as well are you just before

you start this are you thinking about

doing books or ebooks or anything on

that

Oasis I want to release a book

poetry book and also I'm in a process of

trying to gather to do like spoken word

events okay um so I wanna go and perform

poetry and and yeah it's funny how I

only started writing I used to write

poetry a lot for Mother's Day cards uh

my mom she's probably got loads of poems

which is quite handy because every time

my sister would ask me what we should

get my mom article I'll just write what

last year I went to Cyprus and my

granddad was writing poetry in Greek Oh

what just about turmoil he's been

through in his life and stuff I went

over to Cyprus by myself actually just

to save my grandparents for a couple

weeks and I thought you know what maybe

I should try writing down stuff as well

so it's the one I'm gonna read is the

first one I wrote in Cyprus some of some

of them when I write them I can kind of

I don't feel this way anymore but can

kind of go back to how I felt and write

the emotions down which is yeah yeah

which is quite good for me and so yeah

the one I'm gonna read this the first

one ever wrote when I started writing

properly and it's called him him love it

let's go all right so here miss just the

game playing with my mind an easy target

for him he always seems to find he

always seems to be there to put me in my

place lurking a scheming like a puff of

smoke all up in my face and I are closed

my eyes praying that he'll go but in the

morning he's still there he always seems

to show he follows me constantly like a

hovering dark cloud I turned to look at

me

look at him in the face sometimes and he

smiled was also proud what did he want

from me what about done a question every

day my whole life he seems to have taken

and he's here to stay but one day it

seems to click and I look all around

he has no physical presence so how can

he be so profound that's when I realized

I'm living in the past and future with

my other thinking mind an easy target

for him he'll never ever find Wow

that is powerful yeah and there that's

that's about depression may that's a

talent there you know you've got may got

many talents you work out well you've

got the accountancy going for you you've

got this poetry going for you yeah and

if your aim is to like change change the

world for the better and help people who

have been through similar situation to

yourself like you know it's going to be

excited understand I mean people like

and we've never actually met in person

but with people like you is voice all

about as well I appreciate that and it's

the reason I love doing this is because

after after speaking with somebody I

almost feel like a new level of

connection if that make sense so it's

like I see you like as a friend now I

mean I've probably spoken to more in

depth about personal stuff than I do

with some of my friends and but

genuinely like my hand is here if you

never need it if ever there's anything

that I can help you with in the future

if ever there's times that you feel and

or anything because it is about just

helping each other up because there's

going to be times where I might need

that for example yeah 100% you know I'm

here absolutely hit me a message

absolutely I appreciate it and you just

keep doing what you're doing because I

think you're gonna you gonna inspire so

many people and like I said my mom's

gonna be fun in you hopefully today I

didn't tell you yesterday so alright

I'll look up no pages yeah she types

quite funny I was always left for them

because she taught me like the one

finger thing and it doesn't always make

sense but I just think it's important

because I think any age any demographics

or whatever it is your message is just

true we are at the last question now for

Jenny and this is a question that I

asked all of my guests and it's if in

150 years time science is unable to save

us and we are no longer about and all

that exists is a book and this book is

about the story of your life it's a

story that you've written moving on from

now up until the day that you sadly pass

away what I want to know is firstly what

does a blurb say about you I a summary

to make someone you really want to pick

that up and think actually I'm

interested in this person and secondly

what would you call the title of your

book Oh

I think my book would have to be a

poetry book rather than biography and

the title of the book I think would be

memoirs of an anxious mind and the blur

I don't think would say too much at all

it would just say I don't even know a

poem perhaps that could kind of sum up

your yeah a poem that sums up or just a

man in his mind just an anxious mind

full stop just something plain and

simple and the poetry and the poems will

speak for themselves about the

situations about the feelings and

emotion that's powerful I think you also

listen to episode one I thought you

might have not been getting this by here

why keV and the beautiful thing with

Kevin's as well because he's my boxing

trainer he's a lovely chap but he also

does poetry as well yeah and I just find

it I find it fascinating because like

keV you do poetry and I listen to a

couple of years as well and we're in the

process of kind of resurfacing him

because he's got him in like normal

books and I'll say maybe you could self

publish it get it out there because I

just feel like really hit your

heartstrings so it's powerful buddy it's

been an absolute pleasure I just want to

thank you for your time again and

apologies for the stuff in the morning

obviously it took us about 30 minutes to

get skies it's got going but at least

you managed to find your voice yeah the

shameless plug there from the morning

but what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna put

links to all your social medias that I

know but if there is anything else or

anywhere else you want people to find

you because I think it's important that

people can follow your journey and

people can learn from you learn from you

you can maybe help them if you wouldn't

mind where's the best place to find you

the best place for me is probably my

personal Instagram page which is cmk

lifestyle and then my other page which

is up and running and I want to stop it

a lot more up there as my business

expense is mindful fitness spelt with

double L and actually spoke incorrectly

by accident but actually actually works

really well now and you know there's

actually a funny turn on Instagram you

can only one person can have a name in

the world

yeah for a name so mindful fitness

double-l was taken so I originally had

to call it mindful doc fitness and I

found the woman she was in a miracle and

a person who had mindful fitness and the

name and I said to my friend I'm gonna

message her and ask her if I can have

her name like we can switch and would

like don't be silly she's not gonna do

that so I sent her a long message I see

them two at the MS they're like I

literally spilled out my heart out to

her and asked if we could swap names um

and I've got a message the next morning

and she said she'd be happy to for $50

so I sent over fifty dollars a night and

she's got mindful dot fitness so

fantastic yeah see that it's all of its

all about sliding into DMZ

I love that okay um are you active on

any anything else or should we just

stick to Instagram for now Instagram for

now and then I'll be expanding pretty

soon fantastic and obviously once people

can finally find you on there

you're quite active in terms of your

story so they can obviously fun of your

journey I'll be finding your journey may

it's been an absolute pleasure speaking

to you this isn't going to be the last

time you speak but obviously offline if

I can help you in any way and vice versa

I'd like like you're helping me you're

helping my mom as of today and you'll be

helping many other people as well so I

want to say thank you to you and to the

listeners at home thanks for listening

and remember this podcast is absolutely

free so all we ask in return is for you

to share this with a friend and drop us

a five star review over on iTunes have

an awesome day

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Find your voice - Episode 7 - The Way I Changed The World - Mus Jones Yafai #7

Tagline: "They are willing to do this, no matter the circumstances, no matter the time of the day, no matter who you are, they are willing to take your child, no matter what!"

Mus Jones Yafai is a wonderful human being who needs your support in raising awareness for his wonderful cause, Child Safe. Having experienced a child abudction attempt on his younger child Mus has made it his lifes purpose to ensure the public are aware of all the ways possible to safe guard their children and other peoples children from abducters.

With shocking statistics, it is the first time in my life I felt scared for anyone with children, for my younger siblings, for my own family members. I felt somewhat oblivious to all that was going on, only to really be woken up by this.

I urge you all, to listen to this episode or at the very least follow Mus over on his social media outlets and help support this amazing cause to better safeguard the children of our future generations.

P.s. it is not everyday you hug a grown bodybuilder the first time you see them!

Thanks for listening

Free Audible book sign up:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21

Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Links to guest:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/yafaichildsafe/ (Child Safe)

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mus.yafai (Personal)

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/childsafe1

kickstarter campaign:

http://kck.st/2UuLWPM

#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice

welcome to an episode of find your voice

a movement led by yours truly

Aaron do a guy who has overcome

crippling anxiety adversity and

difficulty like so many of you in life

whose main goal now is to help you

combat your excuses take control of your

life write your own story and most

importantly find your voice so now

without further ado I welcome the host

of the show himself mr. Aaron due to

another episode of find your voice my

name is Aaron and as always I am the

host of the show so it's very rare

you're gonna see two grown men embrace

after an interview in fact you're not

gonna see that because I never recorded

it but this individual was an amazing

person that after this interview we

actually we had a moment and I say that

because I thought a true connection to

this person and I trust my gut feeling I

haven't been a social worker in my

previous life this is a person who's out

there really trying to change the world

and more importantly what he's trying to

tackle is gonna affect almost every

single one of us because it's about

children and that's one of the most

important things in the world if you ask

me so I'm gonna literally jump into the

interview you're gonna hear about an

amazing person who's doing amazing

things but he's also had some incredible

experiences something that I don't wish

upon anyone so without further ado let's

get this interview on the way okay so I

am sitting here now with moss so how you

doing today man good very good

always and yourself very well than the

cold yeah thank you for taking time

every day I think it's important for

listeners to obviously get a story about

yourself from you because rather than my

kind of narrative yeah so if you

wouldn't mind if you could just give us

a little bit about your life maybe your

upbringing just like key stuff that you

think would be important and relevant

for this story and then we want to

really touch on the word that you're

doing today which I'm really excited

about but be good to get everyone to

just get to know you a little bit

okay well I'm a family of 11 Wow okay

six reverse two sisters we grew up in a

three-bedroom house wasn't easy but we

were so it was fun and scary at the same

time see living with strict Muslim

parents okay no people tend to still

really know about it's not about the

religion it's about culture the culture

is completely different I did about

Christmases I do like birthdays but that

made me appreciate life even more now

especially with my children yeah I mean

so I'm very grateful to have the little

things with someone tries to give me a

gift now I'm not well then so growing up

you know growing up I played Lockerbie

okay I plan to the playing professional

would be the age 80 after playing rugby

and then when two universities my degree

after doing a sports degree no idea what

I was doing constantly searching for it

and I always wondered what is it what

I'm going to do in life until now I

believe we all have a destiny absolutely

no matter when it will happen in our

life we don't know as we keep searching

good surgeon and I found when I stopped

searching

I think everyone's trying to find the

perfect age I suppose yeah or they'll

see somebody else next door to finding

it that's not necessarily your story

people these days well they see was they

see the value of money objects as well

you know you know I do as well you see

someone if I want to do that look well

then you realize they put that hard work

in I haven't just been handed it to and

then this day when their work you know

their lives to get those things I always

say that I think it's so easy to look at

so you see people on Instagram for

example or Facebook and they're

successful they've got a nice car money

and you like it's easy for them well is

it really easy for ya do you know what

they win through the power sister

journey and actually

yeah okay that's interesting so you

didn't use your degree actually touched

on phase of your path so eleven children

in your house are you the middle one the

older young yes are you the young oh yes

he's a pretty one yes we are at the

Council of four children okay just

before we go into this it was mine of

course so you've got your degree you

realize you're not gonna do nothing with

the degree I can relate to that

yeah and you do something now what's

happening in between here is this mom

argue just be lost the wall no this is

all found one supposed to do now this is

completely and it took something tragic

for me to find it but there's no

uncertainty in my mind and now what I

have to do and it's for the rest of my

life it's there's no doubt it's like I'm

finally happy it's it's an amazing

feeling to know what you're supposed to

be pond why'd you were put on earth for

and this is the feeling that we need to

give to everyone else to find it it's

the most amazing feeling ever you

wouldn't you know what you want to do

like I said life is not about just going

to work every single day to work your

well for someone else and then just to

go home yeah I'll see you happy kid

you're happy then just go work if it's

up to me obviously we have that passion

to find something we'd love to do

absolutely and then spend the time with

the people we love that's what loves

about I mean you have to do something

you love to do in life there's no you

can't work just to end your life

I suppose it's a shame though society

kind of teaches us that that's the norm

of course it's go to school get a decent

bread innocent that's it retire at 65

make sure you've got pension safe

sixty-five no we can do it now of course

the white decision is in the right

action okay so fantastic so we're gonna

jump into the bit that I'm excited about

yeah so I just thought of a name you

know I want you to elaborate I want you

to explain it or it's gonna be the first

time I'm listening as well okay so

hopefully the listeners will will get

excited as much as I am okay what I'm

gonna start with the Nana neighbors

child safe mm-hm

yeah bread more than that well I'll tell

you the story and how the story came so

basically my three-year-old daughter was

almost taken from me the 7th of October

2018 at 1 p.m. and Lidl was doing my

supermarket shopping it was the craziest

scariest feeling I've ever heard of my

life I'm just doing my shopping as

normally doing but I noticed this man

walking around the shop he had enough

fusions constantly not taking any food

up no do no shopping

so I'm a partner there's something weird

happen in the shop he's everything I

could just feel it and then he carried

on following us around a shop and they

just I tried to ignore it but not know

at the same time because just when did

you involve with children your parents

did you're the protector you have to do

anything you can't just keep them safe

so we get to talk when we're doing put

enough into the into the trolley and

then Otis joined our queue and he's got

nothing any sound so I'm just like okay

and then I've put more daughters as both

Attilio there's normally an edgy

something like that sent them enough

food in the toilet and then the exits to

our left and with kids it's alright so

we're standing and then he just wants to

please shut down I said okay something's

definitely having no and she's done

pause I'm gonna go get ice concert Kim a

periphery looking at him and then he

walks past in the queue so he's leaving

the shop but he doesn't leave the shop

he walks then to the right and goes it

six six market and I'm like don't tell

miles of him whatsoever

mom my head's like is he gonna do

something is he not am i playing tricks

on myself I'm not just reading into this

too much is he generally just a normal

man just stand in their way

but it wasn't that case unfortunately he

decided to get close to my daughter

close to my daughter and then I said

time upon again I said he's about to do

something which is like he's not doing

anything so I've turned back round give

him that chance to see if he does turn

back round again he's then about to pick

up my daughter and run out the shop with

her this is where like I completely

froze at first because that was a nut

much shock you just like you know a lot

of men would say why didn't you do this

why didn't you do this and fortunately I

reacting the more perfect why you're not

even around my kids and I've got both of

them put them both behind me and I

stared at this man I said you just tried

to kidnap my daughter mmm the thing that

baffled me them even more he just stood

there said to me do you even say

anything did you move didn't do anything

just the best there and I mean I'm like

you just tried to take my daughter turn

what are you doing nothing so now I'm

standing there I looked at my bond

another man comes running through the

shop grabs him in a bow the most is that

people slamming body doesn't do anything

about it

I'm shouting this man telling me telling

him he's a toy yeah everyone's carrying

on with their shopping no this is the

thing that I'm trying to get people to

realize that we need to stick together

into these situations we all need to

educate on child abductions mmm I'm chod

crimes so we are aware for other

people's children I'm just trying to put

myself in that situation even as a boy

and a girl go apprehend that or what you

must have been going through and

obviously the whole reaction side and

stuff to it people can't see you on this

podcast you're a big guy you know a guy

they're gonna rob something from like

I'm being honest I would go tea yeah

it'd be intimidating for me so you just

prove she's come out absolutely proved

to me they're willing to do this no

matter what I mean this is at 1:00 p.m.

in the middle of the down I'm doing my

shopping you know I mean the taunting

you least expect under the times when

they're gonna try and strike because we

are get so complacent

day to day lives we're gonna do my

shopping my kids this it was a vigilant

there and I'll sometimes done stuff I

don't know it's a bit of driving

something you drive something you know

driving yeah of course do you know your

daughter pilots subconsciously yes the

scary thing is especially my mom ponder

kind of beat yourself up for a because

she for a long time she couldn't deal

with cuz she knows and even or no and I

could say she day she would have been

gone if I was in there yeah come on

partner didn't see nothing she's very

believers in their own world she she

wouldn't think there's someone trying to

take a dog especially so close to home

but this is the thing we're gonna make

people realize it does not matter where

you are in this country next country is

happening people do these things and

it's scary that people know people don't

know anything about what happens we see

the films that's how you 2018 last year

was I speak like people don't know there

was 1189 actions with almost a hundred

thousand attempted a child yeah

Manchester being in this country

Birmingham's third these every years

they're very high and people don't know

anything about it yeah I mean I was a

social worker in my last life yeah I

went back to uni and looking after

George was always kind of a my dad I

want you to be the best social worker

for children yeah wonderful children our

hopes and feel your passion in here

obviously you just can't do something

else that's crazy

so did the police did you get the piece

about what yeah obviously I'll gone in

to speak to them I'm in the shop so I'll

talk to the manager I said listen I need

the CCTV the finish of the story I've

actually ran out to the shop I've got my

kids got something and they was they was

standing in the middle of the car park

they were just basically and I'll run up

to them again just to say listen you've

tried to take my daughter the police and

because I'm stealing that much shock he

played in my mind he tricked me he was

like no no

I didn't take your daughter and I'm just

like he's not my wife is in the shop

she's got a full trolley she's waiting

in the queue okay let's go back in so

I've locked the door but other kids I

said I'll be back in a second so

obviously as I've said that about Deb

walked off quite quickly so I walked

back into the shop they did have a woman

with him but they had no shopping all

right so that as I've gone in them three

are running out the shelf so this is the

thing we need to reload they're working

in groups and we can't judge the fuck

the male or female a comedy with a

female and two groups to try and track a

child obviously though maternity think

that woman has with children they doing

anyone would do it but yeah of course

your point he was just scared to know

that a woman would be in that group as

well so this is the thing that I'm

trying to but try to have one that not

just for our kids for other people of

course as you said we see things how we

think we would do it other way oh we

gotta realize everyone is different I

mean I already grabbed it do you know

all these kind of crazy but you don't

know well okay

so thank God no of course all of that

from that what was your process then so

then I went to the manager

as for the CCTV footage he said there's

a code they have to get from the head

office the police the police I said okay

we're gonna go down and get the head and

get the code we'll get the CCTV footage

because all I wanted to get that those

faces out to the public so they know

what they look like and they can be

aware from it you know what I blame the

police for a while because I kept going

obviously every weekend to do my food

shopping you do kept telling me the

police I'm pinned down you the police

station again I said what's going on was

when we bend down and we said we have we

sent police down there okay what's

happening this is the way for the code

I've gone down to little again I said

they come to get the code it was like no

no no one's come down yet and I'm like

okay what's this quite strange

after three weeks gunned down again

anyone in all come to get the code No

come down yet four weeks have gone the

CCTV footage has rewritten gun this is

the thing I've gonna made my social

media I make videos about the police

saying calm believe what they've done to

me then they let me down those foul but

this system was fine filed by the police

well I wasn't the police went down three

times little failed me right they kept

lying to the police telling them that

the code haven't come down yet

the code don't come down yet yes of

course it is so they let me down they

completely let me down they didn't get

the code when they never attempted to

get the code in the first place which

was their heartbreaking comment which

you know it was all never those faces

you mean you know I never thought for

that was gonna happen I never knew this

would be the outcome of my daughter

Thomas being taken from me as well so

throughout life things are gonna happen

we're all gonna go straight faced you

going to go through stuff that it's not

fair some stuff is out of our control

you have in that moment day I suppose

and moving forward of course two ways

you can either take it or you can take

those actions when you're in control

yourself control you change the world so

could you explain a little bit more

about this net so we know it's called

Charles Seife yes it's based on the

story that obviously you went through

that horrific moment there's so firstly

I opened up a social media page so how

do I reach the people these days it was

all social media so my way to reach

people with social media

told my story which I think are 10 to 15

thousand views share it compared to my

videos now I'm not yeah of course

suppose I mean how many ever got so many

views on it and that's what then enticed

everyone else to follow me what I was

doing so what can I do to challenge it

firstly I just like okay I walk around

supermarkets are warriors shops you

gotta move it here you get to Birmingham

when you see signs everywhere saying

criminals in action watch your cars

thieves here did nowhere is that a sign

telling you that child abductors are

nowhere is someone that someone may take

your kid I know that people might not

want to see that unfortunately this is

the life we live in people need to be

aware I mean I would let my daughter a

world did let more daughters run around

the shops let him do what they want you

know me no one's gonna tell my kid but

that's not the way life is now so sad

ya know I'm even going back to when I

was young doors are open in the houses

cause it was a community yeah I think it

is a problem and I'm guilty of this

myself I'm sure listeners can resonate

with this is like even now I mean I've

got lovely neighbors on both sides your

house because its head down I'm getting

on with my life course and Tokyo yes

pose because but the thing is you say we

haven't got time but stuff like this we

need to make it non negotiable on

Jupiter and we have okay

bring it sorry sorry trucks yes okay so

from there obviously I've got these

posters and I'm like I need to get

someone designed

I've never done anything - where do I go

some was like the graphic designer I'm

like okay I'll go speak to so that is

only he doesn't mean oh I have this

image in my head and what my design

looks like and then can you do me a

poster poster for me and I'm like oh my

god this is amazing

so I'll get thousands of posters printed

I'm using all of my own money I'm better

than everything I possibly can into this

and then on this social media page I'm

telling everyone who was a help who was

a help me

message of the message after message and

I'm like what the hell I didn't

understand I didn't realize this is

gonna I'm not okay I'm gonna I'm gonna

have to take the you count by myself I'm

like this but I hate I mean I've had now

3,000 followers among them to free fast

follows I'm a group and my page I've got

900 almost hitting the thousand I'm my

page and I'm just like messages some

parents telling me what an inspiration I

am teenagers telling worried about

asking me for four posters saying I want

to help I want to get your posters out

there I want to put them in the shops I

want to post your fly for the door and

I'm like I wanted to make a difference

where I'm noticing that everyone else

wants to make it fits as well at least

yeah so I spend the first few months

ending posters here Thursday and I'm

like I'll totally get in around in this

area by the hillstar which everyone I'm

looking it's up in Yorkshire sucked down

south it's it and so from there know

what do I do next

first we need to raise the awareness so

that's the main thing we need to do

because people don't know what's

happening so the main thing to me was to

raise the awareness to everyone

mmm-hmm well and I'm like this is good

it was not good enough no where do I go

from here

you know what I went to met this man

called Oliver he messaged me and said

can I meet up we are because I love what

you're doing up and he was an amazing

man he's been for a lot of things as

well our kids he's weren't in prisons

and his scene is but with people and he

seen so much of his stuff and he

educated me and so much it gave me this

knowledge I'm not okay

education that's where I'm going

education so that's where I got to start

and that's why I'm gonna finish we need

to educate the country and educate our

children on the dangers because ease the

children a this is happening to so

children don't know what's happening hmm

and as parent you know we do as well

even if you tell you know what I'll tell

my daughter things she won't listen

school she's like the best pupil because

I thought I'm an authority figure tell

them something they were listen and

learn

so I need to get into the schools

designed with the kids because the kids

are on the games and there was over a

hundred children you know they have no

idea about after doing research if you

want you're gonna win this country of

course but it's just like no one's here

police like after getting them up on a

loved it because they said we used to go

to the schools and do the stranger

dangers and things I mean yeah yeah but

we don't Lisa V Cohn anymore

you ain't got no police we can't send

them down you guys we need the police in

the streets and because of what's

happened in our stabbings or the thefts

child abductions or child cards have

been pushed to the back you know I mean

be this it's absolutely we need to make

sure it's gonna be safe for now so I'm

gonna dust the plant

but that's just the beginning of course

so with the school I'm not okay I'm

gonna go to my doors prime school I

can't go down so promise don't say

listen this is what happens when you get

this is the tips and you need to know so

I had a bear designed cord captain

Charlton okay so how can I get two kids

what do I do monkeys to teach them are

read books to them every single night

and you know what they're nuts sometimes

they love this in their favorite but

they even recite them to me as I'm

reading because they beat him so much

I'm like I'm gonna make books I'm gonna

write books at the moment for books

books the first one I've just sent off

for editing he's come back and it's

amazing I love it

which is based on a true story called

the supermarket okay so the first story

each story will educate the children as

well as be fun which will also educate

the parents because we need to educate

the parents as well because parents

don't know this parents understand

what's happening so we say to the

parents the kids can't stay next to me

so I mean I'll where's he gone book we

don't but there's no sense of panic when

they have gone always probably in the

other oil so for me to then show that

message that in the supermarkets with

he's capturing child safe so he's the

hero you know say Whitney got Sly Fox

he's the one in every situation we'll

try and take the job so in each

situation in each book there's always a

happy ending right always a happy ending

but in happy so that's how I'm targeting

the younger age is to to a to the other

so through story and because the thing

is also okay I'll do a program for the

kids at the primary school what kids

forget within 10 seconds before going to

mention span as well but somebody

speaking of course of course

so if I went into a smaller I teaching

them I'll go in there once I'm not gonna

go in everyday online so don't forget as

soon as they've forgotten I sit inside

their head so if we do it for a story

it's gonna be read to them time and time

and time again and being Brennan to

their brain and they know as they grow

up

no calm run off in the shop because if I

wanna finish shut the slyfox mind

getting out that's what I'm trying to do

and feed into their brain

Wow I mean like you said when you

started this you had no idea no idea

which way to go goes the books your

North in our liver said this is

fascinating so you you were talking

about raising awareness then you've got

a fantastic Facebook page and all this

stuff will be in the show notes and I'll

share it as much as I possibly can as

well okay everyone's life's busy course

we're gonna hear this it's gonna touch

more people as hearts but some people

are gonna touch them for a bit and then

they're gonna get on with their lives

yeah of course if they could just do one

thing that's very very quick that would

just help your message whether it's like

is it as simple as just sharing your

video or these leaflets here you've got

available put in one of those oh this

I'll have my leaflets these days I'll

pay for our print they're all free if

anyone wants posters they're more than

welcome to us they all have to do is

drop a message to my page I will then

deliver send it but yet the Flyers and

the posters are free I've had caustic

has done as well which these are sold

and my website is gonna be finished just

called child safe okay they're stickers

I have t-shirts made it's Ruby sorry

right on the page as well where all the

money that I'll music space or my own

money or the world I've worked for and

any profit made it all goes into the

chalk on to the police there's something

called active citizens fund okay and I'm

waiting for the approval of it approval

of it because I can't go into the

school's intended I can't go to those

kids and be like yeah as soon as they

listen they need something to read to

take the information they need the tips

so they concert can keep reading oh and

also show the parents because there's

tips and there for parents of what they

can and can't doing or should or

shouldn't do even to let them children

be safe yeah and stuff you were getting

early and I'm like I I get that because

I'm sitting here now midway through this

and I just want to help you like yeah

I'm gonna help you right now

each and Brian this will probably come

in I don't know a month's time for weeks

time because of the schedule bumbler

this needs to be out there now so up

until that time

offline after this I want you to speak

to me as well and let me know of course

I've got a couple of friends in the

printing industry as well okay and even

if it is quite a few favors can you just

do the first thousand free listen this

is going to stuff that's going to change

this world the world hundred percent you

don't mean and it's most people are

gonna have children in their lives or no

children of course find of children to

make sure that there was no why even not

the people just with children people

that don't have children need to know

that so they they are aware as well so

when they see someone talking to a child

and they and the child is acting in the

certain behavior that don't look right

they can step in and say excuse me

little one you okay is this your dad is

this your mom I mean so they need to be

aware of this is for everyone it ain't

just at first I generally thought used

to the parent and I'm like you know what

the best one that happened to me this

girl I want to be waiting just cuz I

finally realize what I gotta do if

you're like okay this is just this is my

mission

this is that's my mom this isn't our

mission so this is I'm just doing what

I'm supposed to be doing so this was

built message me tell me one inspiration

a man that and I'm like okay well thank

you flyer

she's messaged me again and I said she

just put thank you so much again for

doing what you doing you helped me save

a life what do you mean I helped you

save a lot she goes I was in memory Hill

didn't shopping because I've seen a

little boy were in on the shop and he's

running down there and there's no

parents and she said all of a sudden

man's grabbed his hand and she said

she's lucky that she's run over to this

bone and said this dust on your son is

it she he's let go I'm enough so she's

obviously she said because of what

you've done

yeah you've educated me to be vigilant

and I've saved the boy's life and moms

come were in that shock come here my son

she's like some manhood and I'm like oh

that was the maddest even that was like

I'm tingling that was the best feeling

Donna my message is gonna buzz it isten

it's working that girl is now saved

another kids

we almost need everyone to know nobody

so everyone's singing from the same hymn

sheer supposed because there is a

tendency are suppose even we're not

we're not gonna have for example and you

see tail up without us and you see like

somebody may have been a bit like overly

aggressive speaking to his wife you know

Pyrus and suppose you know should I jump

yeah should I know it's always that kind

of know your limits know your boundaries

last thing you want to do is go in and

then even she turns around he's like

what are you doing I mean no couples all

you don't yeah anyway we need to jump in

not justify just to stop and profess if

you're not jumping into joining the

five-year someone because you've hurt

him what's the point you're just doing

this bad as that privacy really don't

make money to join in just to stop

before explain this and you guys explain

this like the best I suppose

intervention methods for the phobia

percent I figure of someone who's

probably gonna be anxious to do that

although we need to do it yes I've said

because I had so many messages

mmm-hmm when fortunately I reacted in

the perfect way of what government my

kids and everyone else should do that as

well especially if it's someone else

doesn't matter if it is that or is mom

and you think they're acting the way of

just grab that child's hand and ask if

they're okay and you're not do nothing

bad it's so many people telling me so

why didn't you beat him up and you know

what I didn't know there was a group I

first turned to me there was one man so

if I've jumped on this Mannie my doors

are never seen that go my children are

now panicking I'm on top of this man

beating this man oh all of a sudden I

look up there my children are gone

because the other two in the group of

tank in them

we can't this again how it's almost like

you actually reacted in the yeah it's

fortunately that's not me not

fortunately I acted in the perfect way

and grab much

Oh No maybe he was the decoy to get me

together you see I think it's plenty of

videos where there's somebody who I seen

one the other day sorry I'm going a bit

yeah

there's a piece of delivery driver on a

motorbike you know the guys robbed the

pizza from the back of the day okay and

as he's run off the guys that my pizza

he's gonna deliver it so he's chased him

to the door of someone's run on his bike

yes but it's a similar kind of quality

because they saw suppose house Wow did

they use our brains again so it's in

it's in our interest to act 100% the way

you act you children your children is

your first priority in life no matter

what you were the first thing scrubber

Jose Cuban said don't need don't worry

about Emma don't worry don't grassy

don't jump on him it's if you have your

partner with them or someone else get

your pond it's a cup of kids and they

detain that map you know mean see this

is arrest that man

that's it you don't you don't wanna stop

being an absolute yeah the fault of

someone taking your child is that part

breaking you will go too far you may

kill that man and then you're still not

going to see your child anyway okay

fantastic

I could just speak about this for like a

whole day I'm conscious that the show is

it in its own yeah of course and so I

want to kind of find out more stuff

about you yeah a little bit

I'm just it's fascinating it takes a

certain type of human being to do this

like I said I'm in my social life I said

a lot of people or moms from like a

nursing background I always thought

those kind of people with that nature

that caring nature the world needs more

of it and of course they need more

support so if I could support you after

this podcast I'll do that thank you so

some of these questions now this is more

interested I always think it's

fascinating when I when I when I sit

with people at yourselves you've got

such an amazing story so I think routine

and daily habits are where we are in

life for example so I look at successful

people like okay he's doing this I'm

gonna just take this from his daily

honey I can explain from the moment you

wake up to the moment you sleep how is a

day that it's all routine I've got a

working with you you know what

I see most times in my life I never

worked in routine and you don't your

body is a machine your body is a

computer whether you like it or now you

need to realize that your body in your

brain it all works

on repetition so if you do something

your body knows the next day it's gonna

do the same thing so and even to our

motion because I've still never planned

out course we don't happen so I have the

keys marketed before I leave the house

just in case anything does happen to me

so that's what I do and then I get up

I'm on a routine time I'll just try my

so then so I've got my routine food

clothes give some love to my dog to work

[Music]

this is me hundred percent so I'm gonna

go to work come back home spend some

time with children you know what you all

get so focused and forget a lot of

things sometimes and sometimes we forget

our children and you know I'm she was

doing 70 80 hours a week

so we just spent fun it's on soon as Tom

goes sammartino go to the gym in the

morning I tell my kids to school when

I'm saying it seem normal because I'm

doing the key thing is I just wanna

stare is you've got the routine cause

this is so important because plan plan

plan plan plan like I did before mrs. I

never planned anything Moloch was all

over the place watch your reactive

impulse on the moment live for the day

that's all it's one of the things so

when I gave up my job I had to get

routine in place

I'm scatterbrain yeah everyone knows

that regimented from the moment I wake

up similar to yourself Anderson even

stuff like I have to have a liter and a

half of water so nutritious in

everything is so regimented of course

but you get so much more done because

because I've got no time I guarantee

you've got you probably said no but it's

amazing stuff you're doing now you've

got three doors as well yeah you're

doing all this amazing stuff you're

working out as well

I know you're in competition prep it's

tough I know what it goes through mentee

to use that that way in everything so

this Lodge we live in this live from

when people are going free

just doing the easiest things possible

just to get through the day no mean

there maybe you go to the pub have a

drink of a laugh or no but this love you

got a challenge yourself man every

single day is supposed to be a challenge

I mean if you ain't challenge yourself

or fluff about no mean cannot do that

lets covergirl let's do it

I'm scared of that let's do the scariest

thing possible man cuz that doli those