Find your voice - Episode 6 - Stay strong by Hezron Brown #6
Tagline: "The impact I was making & seeing was unreal. To see their face and actually light up and think Hope!"
Find your voice - Episode 6
Hezron Brown, has been in the papers for his incredible story. As a child he was tragically burned in hot water which has left him scarred for life. His life then continued to spiral into a life of drugs and crime.
Somewhere along his journey however the idea of belonging and hope kicked in. Hezron self belief, which he accustoms his now success too is a key factor in him finding his true purpose. Hezron is now inspiring the youth who need to hear the message and realise that there is hope for them irrespective of the cards they have been dealt as kids.
There is more to a life of death or jail.
There are more opportunities if we remain commited to succeed rather than just having a slight interest.
It's a remarkable story of seeing some change, something I was always skeptical about.
Thanks for listening
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#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice
[Music]
welcome to an episode of find your voice
a movement led by yours truly
Aren do a guy who has overcome
crippling anxiety adversity and
difficulty like so many of you in life
whose main goal now is to help you
combat your excuses take control of your
life write your own story and most
importantly find your voice so now
without further ado I welcome the host
of the show himself mr. Aren do what's
going on people thank you for tuning in
to another episode of find your voice my
name is Aren and this is a classic this
is somebody who I actually reached out
to I'd say about six months ago and it
was following a news article that I sin
that they were mentioned in now they
were mentioned in this news article for
how they turn their life around and
that's kind of the stories I really love
to hear but I need to make sure that the
listeners ie yourselves you're gonna get
something tangible from this and you're
gonna get some life lessons and let me
tell you you're certainly gonna get some
life lessons now maybe many of us can't
relate to the way that this person was
brought up or some of the stuff that he
did and I think he's held his hands open
he said I've made a lot of stupid
mistakes but more importantly than that
if you listen to his story there's a few
moments and we touched on it halfway
through the interview where he was
getting signs he was getting
opportunities he was getting people
coming into his life giving him the
chance to potentially turn it around and
I thought that was a really important
part of the story because I think even
ourselves in life we sometimes get
opportunities but because we're so
blinkered or a mindset isn't thinking
the right way or our perception isn't
right we sometimes miss these
opportunities and we spoke a little bit
about self belief and confidence and
just having a vision and I think that's
so so important myself for example I
have some crazy visions but what I've
realized is by having these and
expressing them to the world and being
accountable I'm seeing more
opportunities come my way and I'm not
saying these opportunities weren't there
previously but
my thoughts and my processes of how I
would interpret things were different
I just wasn't taking advantage of him so
fair play to this person he's done an
absolutely fantastic job he turned his
life around he was very close to you
almost having no life so I'm very
grateful that he made that step when he
did I'm very grateful that he also took
time to share his story because he's
going places remember his name he will
certainly be I think a household name
very very soon simply because his story
is one that you can't replicate you've
either lived it or you haven't and this
guy has lived it so without further ado
we're gonna jump straight into this
interview with hezron Brown ok people so
thank you for tuning into the show today
and I am honored to have hezron Brown
here with me today so firstly I just
want to thank you for taking time out
even your day today buddy no problem how
you doing today I'm fine thank you very
much how are you I'm very well thank you
I believe you were working as well today
is that right no no well I wasn't
working I was I was more kind of
concentrating on myself okay building up
my self today yeah that's still kind of
working I suppose okay fantastic
um what I want to do is obviously I've
given an introduction
prior to this show about your life and a
little bit about your story but I think
it's important for the listeners to
really understand you and hear it more
from yourself so if you wouldn't mind if
you could just kind of give a whole
backstory go into as much detail as you
want and just really try and let the
audience and myself get to know hezron
Brown yeah that's no problem at all so
for me all kind of started when I was
five years old I he fell in a bath of
boiling hot water and burnt the upper
right hand side of my body so my arm my
chest and my stomach I actually had a
jump run at that time and when I fell in
the water all of my skin had melted over
my jumper and when my mum came up she
ripped my to rip my jumper off out of
panic and because of that she ripped all
my skin off so all this skin that's
actually on the upper right hand side of
my body is actually from my legs I had
various skin grafts I was in hospital
for numerous mumps getting all those
skin grafts to kind of correct correct
obviously what happened oh well at that
time you know when I started going to
primary school
kid's gonna understand why I looked the
way I did and because that reason they
started to call me names started to
bully me
so from there I I I do that's a really
bad anger problem it was something that
I couldn't control okay and I would just
get angry at every single little thing
and he got to the point where it was
just literally out of control to and
from school I was always fighting I was
fighting in school as well and I think
for me the reason why I developed that
temper was because I didn't want anybody
to call me names again I didn't want to
feel weak
again and I kind of said to myself I'm
never gonna let that happen to me again
and because of that my rage and my
temper just kept getting worse and worse
and worse
Wow even though it was affecting me at
school it was affecting me at home as
well and my relationship with my mum you
know my mom was a single parent I'm one
of five children so you know it was
difficult for my mum to actually kind of
deal with what I was bringing home right
and there was times when I was getting
so angry I was throwing my wardrobe down
the stairs punching holes in doors
breaking windows you know like it was
getting out of control
a lot at the time my mum would have to
call the police because I was getting
that enraged that she was scared for my
own safety and she was probably scared
for her own safety as well of course was
this around did you say eleven years old
at this point yeah yeah when I was 11
that's quite a young age isn't it to be
displaying so much anger yeah is it is
this is what I mean like my temper was
just yeah it was it was uncontrollable
and he got to the point where I would
literally black out so I wouldn't even
know what I would actually be doing or
what I was doing until I actually came
back around and it's like the only way I
could come only way out and calm down
was if I punched something not someone
just something right I could just go and
punch a door or punch a wall or you know
punch some glass and immediately my
temper would go immediately
and so yeah it was just it was it was it
was quite bad it was quite bad so I said
like my my home life wasn't that good of
my mom and she kicked me out that time
there's one and I when I lived in one of
my older sister's you know having to
travel to school every single day from
Tamworth because she lived in Tamworth
and having to travel from Tamworth to
worthington every single day I'm the
boss in the morning yeah it was a
difficult time but the relationship that
me and mum had was I would go home
she'll kick me out I'll go back home she
would kick me out again that was that
was always our relationship so a lot at
the time I knew kind of what was gonna
happen when I went back home I knew I
was gonna get kicked out again but
that's where my home was yeah so I
always wanted to go back so that was
getting to the points where a monkey
kicking me out
I was sofa surfing I was going to I was
going to friends houses staying with
them they knew the situation that you
know I was in in knew that I had these
anger problems knew the kind of
relationship that I had with my mom and
yeah like when I was kind of going
through school school was trying to help
me to teach I'm trying to help me as
well for those that knew and you know
they were trying to better me they were
trying to keep that temper out of me
they were putting me through counts
through counseling putting me through
anger management but nothing really
worked nothing really worked and when I
was 13 so my mom kicked me out again I
went and lived with one of my friends
mm-hmm an amazing woman her name is
Devon and she literally just took me off
the street I was homeless and I went to
her house and actually went to her house
to actually see her son okay and after
speaking to me for like a minute she
could see that something was wrong with
me she could see that I was struggling
in some form of way and she invited me
inside she gave me a she gave me a hot
drink and she said to me tell me what's
going on with you right now
so I did I told a lot situation I was in
and like that she took me into her home
she she literally made me part of the
family every time when we was out
she saw someone that she knew she would
tell him that I was her adopted son yeah
it was yes she would she's an amazing
woman she's an amazing woman I lived
with her until I actually finished
school can I just ask so you you find
you Vaughn and God bless her soul she
sounds like a wonderful lady
and you said things were obviously she
was introducing you as part of the
family you felt at home how did how was
your anger at this particular time then
did you find that you were able to
control it or was it still still you
were still getting flares of anger I
actually wasn't getting angry when I was
with her I think it was just jus down to
the respect that I had I would never get
angry with her but maybe if I was like
still go into school I was getting angry
when I was a try but I was never getting
angry around her okay that's because how
I seen it was
I can't disrespect this person this
person has literally took me from off
the street into her own home and I had
just this deep respect for her and her
whole family up until this day you know
I still see her I called her mom my
children call her nan you know her
brothers and sisters I call them uncle
auntie like I see her family as my
family so that respect has never it's
never gone away never gone away so yeah
she took me in and kind of went through
school life they're living at her house
my mom actually found out where I was
now Yvonne that she lives around the
corner from my mom and it took her know
enough two years to actually come round
to the house to come and get me and
Yvonne gave me the choice she said well
you can either go home or you can stay
here and continue to live the life that
you're living but even though I was
there and she took me in I always had
this feeling that I needed to go home
and that that wasn't my home so I took
upon myself to go back home and live
with my mom
mm-hmm two weeks later she kicked me out
again and I was back on the street and I
went and lived with my older sister
sleeping on her floor one of my older of
her sisters and I was sleeping on her
floor she lived in a flat
she had two kids at that time my nephew
and my niece and they kept see seeing me
sleeping on the floor they kept coming
in asking her you know why his uncle
hezron just sleeping on the floor mm-hmm
and I think she got to the point where
she just wanted to you know she just
didn't want them seeing that anymore and
I to be fair I didn't want them seeing
me in that in that position so she came
up to me and she said hezron there's a
neighborhood office at the bottom of her
flat so there was a neighbor laughs at
the bottom of her flat and she asked me
to go in there and just tell him what my
situation was and see what they could
actually do for me so I went down there
and I I spoke to them
I remember when I I stepped through the
door I had six black bags three in each
hand full of clothes and I literally
just collapsed on my knees when I when I
stepped through the door and I just
broke down into tears
because I think it was that realization
of knowing that I actually had nothing
and I had no one around me then was
actually truly supporting me and it's
like I kind of felt like I was a burden
to to my family and I remember this
woman came running up to me and she said
what's wrong what's wrong and I I told
her I said you know I haven't got
nowhere to go Liz there's no one around
me that that can look after me and she
said okay what there's no family or
friends I said no there's there's
there's there's no one around just you
it's just me and she sat me down in the
chair and she said okay well I'm gonna
try and sort something out for you so
she got me a bed and breakfast I stayed
in that bed-and-breakfast for about two
months now I was I just finished school
yeah so I finished my exams I never and
they were left with no we've no grades
like none at all and at this point when
I was staying in that bed-and-breakfast
now through that time I was happy to saw
some money on my own food hmm all the
things that I needed to live on yeah
absolutely because because I was so
young the so I went to the Jobcentre and
they they said to me are there's
actually there's actually they don't
didn't know how they could help me
because I was so young of course and it
took them quite a while
for him to actually give me some money
so I actually ended up going on to
income support okay and kind of their
dead back dated me but throughout that
whole time I was trying to find ways to
support myself and it was quite hard
even down to college education
no college wanted to accept me because I
never had no grades I actually wanted to
do IT that was something that I was
passionate about at that time and they
they said to me because you haven't got
any grades there's there's no real way
that you can start an IT course because
of the the level of entry that you
needed I eventually found a college that
would accept me it was Matthew Boulton
college and they were saying and they
said to me okay cool like we can't put
you on an IT course straight away mm-hmm
but if you do this course in this course
that you make up the grades that you
need to get in onto the IT course I said
okay like for me it was just anything
like anything just something to occupy
my mind something to take my mind off
what I was going through at that time
the counts would have found me a
accommodation as well it found me a
temporary but a nation in Hockley so I
was like okay like you know things were
kind of exciting to look back up job
centered they put me on the income
support so I was starting to get money
in I found education I've got my own
place so at that time I thought that
everything was going great everything
was going in the right in the right kind
of order and when I was at college
that's when things started to get a bit
kind of like off-track right I will you
know skip lessons I was being in the
common room all the time trying to hang
out with friends I had met loads of new
people that you know I didn't know
before and then that started to
obviously play an impact on my education
hmm I finished out my first year it was
a two-year course I was on I've done
other media and photography and I've
completed my first year went onto
another course with media photography
which was a two-year long course and on
the first day I started I had an
argument with my tutor over a can of
coke and again I lost my ten
was there swearing I was punching things
and the the head of the college was
actually walking down the path at the
time I was actually losing my temper
worst timing ever the worst time in ever
and they phone security security came
upstairs got me and escorted me out of
the college so at this point now I've
got my own place money's coming in but
I've got no education and I'm kind of
just dusting around doing nothing and
then that's when things started
spiraling out of control
I started you know going to parties I
started hanging around with people that
I shouldn't hang around with they spied
influencing me and even though I knew
what I was doing was wrong like there
was no one really around me to say to me
hezron stop doing that or hezron don't
do that we'll show you a better way I
suppose well show me a better way
exactly yes that's exactly it showed me
a better way hmm
so I just continued to stay on the path
that I was on I started doing a lot of
foolish things I was you know committing
robberies I was walking around with
weapons I was I was doing a lot of silly
things okay and when I was doing these
things I kind of I know kind of had no
remorse like I was just like again I was
just doing it to survive you know I was
standing drugs as well and I was just
doing it to survive I was doing it to
try and make money um and again as you
said there was no one really around me
to to push me away from it and put me on
a better path can I just jump in there
just quickly I mean I've got sort of got
so many questions cause it's such a
fascinating story
your relationship with Yvonne now has
that completely broken down at this
stage or is it or is it a matter of you
feel you can't go back there now oh no
no no Yvonne
she's as I said like she's still a
mother figure to me okay so she wasn't
she was always still there oh yeah yeah
she she was always still there but again
it kind of felt like to me like I
couldn't go back there does that make
sense yeah absolutely and at this stage
was you was you taking accountability
for anything or was it just you know the
world's just doubt you shit cards and
your
carry on do what you need to do to get
by that's exactly it the world was
dealing me this hand that I didn't
really you know um you didn't ask for it
but you've got it and I've got it and
and I'm just rolling with it
and that's just kind of what he got to
he got to the point where I was just
rolling with it and as you said like for
me my temper my temper has always got me
into bad situations like Mitchell II
like even till now even up until this
point like my temper has always got me
into situations and I know it's because
of my temper and there's so many things
that you know I try and do to try and
help me deal with my temper but when it
comes up
I can't explain to you I literally just
have no control I literally have no
control and it's only when people see me
angry that they go WOW like you've
actually got a really bad temper and
it's hurtful really it's hurtful to hear
that to hear that you've got this thing
that you can't control and even though
you do so much things to try and control
it you can't and it's hard and
especially when you know that this thing
is getting you into trouble it's ruining
relationships it's ruining opportunities
it's not serving you it's not certainly
any it's not so many purpose but you
know what I say that and so it's a it's
a tricky thing because times when you
know I was when I nearly got kidnapped
it was my anger that kept me alive being
able to fend for myself being able to
fight back that's what that's what kept
me alive and so as much as I kind of
hate my temper I also love it because
I'm able to protect myself in a way that
someone else can't protect me well that
makes sense I does yeah absolutely it
does make sense it's interesting isn't
it because I suppose in hindsight you'd
rather not have the temper but oh as
you've got it you've kind of managed to
harness it at least to give you some
sort of advantage
or at least help you in some situations
if that makes sense oh yeah yeah
definitely okay so you're now saying you
spiral out of control what are you
thinking like I'm just
trying to get into your head at this
particular moment now what are you
thinking is the future of hezron Brown
the future heads around Brown I actually
didn't know what the future of heads
were on Brown was as I said - I was just
this person that was rolling with E so
one would say I wasn't I wasn't thinking
about my future I wasn't thinking about
my loved ones I was just thinking how am
I gonna get by how am I gonna survive
and how did that change them when did it
change
well changed when I got done for a
robbery charge okay I got done for this
robbery charge and it wasn't it wasn't
even it wasn't even a robbery like that
and as they grabbed my friend I hit that
person when he was on the floor which I
never even realized cuz I actually
walked up at that point but when he was
actually on the floor someone robbed him
someone took his stuff now when the
police came they they they they picked
me up and when they when I was in the
station they turn out to me and they
said oh you've robbed this boy's stuff
and this that do and I was like no and
they said oh do you know what kind of
damage you've done and I was like whoa
and the policeman looked at me and he
said you did not punch him you hit him
with something and I said no I actually
punched him anyway if you've been able
to do that kind of damage from a punch
that's scary and I was like I actually
never even realized I even done that
because I walked off and when it got to
court they decided to do me for the
robbery charge so not for the assault
okay they they decided to do me for
robbery and I got found guilty of this
rubbery now I have to go for my
pre-sentencing report and when I went
there I stepped for the door and this
black lady she came up to me and she
said are you my next appointment I went
I don't know
she went what's your name I said hezron
Brown she said yeah yeah you're my next
appointment and she turned and she
looked at me and she said she tottered
and she she said not another black man
that was the that was the thing that she
said to me and from there I fought Wow
like okay like how much how much have
you seen today yeah yeah and she said to
me tell me everything just tell me the
whole situation mm-hmm so I did I told
her everything I told her what had
happened and she looked at me and she
said okay leave it with me I'm gonna try
and help you and I was like okay I don't
know how you're gonna try and help me
but you know I'm gonna I'm gonna roll
with it
you know as I do and the night before my
sentencing I remember sitting there
thinking I'm going to do like I am going
to jail
mmm yeah and my solicitor was saying to
me you know hezron you're facing years
in prison for this like it's not like a
half month or anything like that it was
like you're facing yes so i sat there
the night before and I actually bought
myself a KFC and I bought myself a
McDonald's and I just sat there eating
all these different random type of thing
you're like someone said to you what
would the last meal be that's one that's
basically white look like I had Big Mac
I had a piece of chicken I had some
chips I had you know I wanted everything
that I knew that I would miss hmm and it
was crazy like that feeling of thinking
I'm actually going to prison like it's a
hard it's hard to describe what that
feeling is actually like knowing that
you're gonna see the outside world again
maybe for a considerable amount of time
just I'm not sorry I mention it in one
of my early episodes I worked in a
prison for six months okay and just
working there me it was draining like
mentally because I was seem I've seen
good people I mean I believe we're all
good but sometimes we do bad things and
some more than a listener and there was
though some people in there who I met
him on the streets or something I just
think they're just normally just nice
people and when you see how little time
they get with their friends and their
family and how restricted their life is
in prison it was so like heartbreaking
inside and it was after that experience
I was like I am never getting on the
wrong side of the law because I'm not
going to give away my freedom and when
you're in prison you they kind of just
take that away from you so yeah I can
imagine how you must have been feeling
at that point
yeah I think I think that's something
that's important something that you
actually just said it's not that
someone's bad it's just that they just
do something bad at that time yeah
absolutely and you know a lot of these a
lot of the guys that are in there like
the women I window they're actually good
people but they've just done something
bad just made a bad choice or a bad
decision I always look at that I always
think I think you know how we look at so
for instance we look at a celebrity for
example and we think obvious easy for
them but we forget all the sacrifices
and everything that they're putting in
beforehand like hope the whole process
and it's the same with somebody who ends
up on the wrong side of the law we
forget that they may have actually been
trying to sort themselves out or just
not getting a break in life and then
sometimes something comes up and
something happens and then they've acted
the wrong way which in hindsight most of
the people that I've spoken to
especially in prison wouldn't have done
again whereas you get some people who
are just literally straight-up crazy
yeah they are straight-up criminals but
generally speaking it is that and I'll
be honest I used to be quite judgmental
and think people don't change
mmm again that was just my limiting
belief and now speaking with people
interviewing people especially like
yourselves and seeing that you're able
to do the amazing things which we're
going to talk about shortly it fills me
with like joy in like happiness and also
like hope and you know having that sense
of hope that we can create a better
world we can create a better community
and yeah we definitely can
I always feel when somebody's been at
rock bottom they can offer so much more
somebody like yourself who's been on the
brink of like you said you could have
been stabbed for example you could have
hit you in an artery or something and
boom you're gone there is no more as Ron
Brown absolutely at the same situation
you could have been in the wrong place
I've hurt somebody else in their life
and their future is finished so I'm
grateful that that hasn't happened yeah
yeah so I went for my sentencing I
remember sitting in the dock I was sat
there I had the the police officer
standing next to me although the guard
standing next to me and while I was in
the dock and the judge came here and she
she said hezron Brown stand up and I
stood up and she said I was actually
gonna sentence you this morning this was
her work this was her words to me mm-hmm
and even up until this point I still
have not forgotten she said I was gonna
sentence you this morning but your
pre-sentencing report was glowing she
said I don't know what you did
or here you spoke to mm-hmm but I'm
willing to give you another chance
Wow and of the feeling I got inside my
heart just my heart just my heart sunk
second chance that's you know that
second chance and I literally reduced me
to tears and I was just in the dock just
crying my eyes out while this woman's
talking to me and telling me what she's
what she's actually going to sentence me
to but I actually just didn't care about
what she was sending me because I knew I
wasn't going to prison
yeah but then at the same time I thought
to myself I've just wasted like 20 pound
and a mat done all day hey I see like
you know thinking that I was getting my
last meal with actually I'm not there
goes a six pack you know like I was
still grateful so she gave me a two-year
suspended sentence
she gave me two hundred and eighty hours
of community service and a four hundred
eighty pound fine now this two-year
suspended sentence was something that
made me was was one of the reasons why I
had to change there wasn't I never had a
choice I had to change because what that
two-year suspended sentence meant was
that if I had done anything in that time
at any point if the police is being
called and I'm involved or Thunder I'm
automatically getting sent to prison and
my actual sentence will get activated
that's how they put it to me so they
kind of scared me I'm thinking no way am
I going to be put in a situation where
I'm going to prison so that started to
slowly change my mentality I had a son
along the way as well hmm I had a child
on the way now the relationship broke
down with his mom and I actually ended
up taking her to court to actually see
my son now this was a battle that lasted
in totally spin seven years now my other
partner at that time she turned around
to me and she said you know hezron you
you need to bet your life you're your
son can't grow up thinking you know that
you was a gang member
that you don't know these bad things he
said you need to prove what you're
capable of
yeah I love that when she said that to
me really made me it made me think about
the future I think that was the first
time I actually really thought about the
future I I can't be this person that I
was before just you know doing all these
bad things I have to change there isn't
there isn't a choice I have to I have to
yeah and she was being able to get me
into courses so I done a parenting
course I done
health and safety I don't food safety I
done I done my IT never one two and
three I redid my English a masked man I
went in I don't customer service skills
and employability skills I just I just
tried to build myself up to a point
where no one could turn around and say
hmm wow you know you're this bad person
it sounds like it was something that
happened in like a month's time or it
happened in like too much time and I'm
saying yeah I've got this qualification
this qualification this talk
it took me yes yeah it took me years to
get all that done but I was proud when I
got done you should be because that
process of you developing yourself and
your mind and picking up all these
skills that can never be taken away from
you could never be taken away never be
taken away and I try and say this to
people because maybe maybe it's my age I
can look back a little bit but sometimes
we spend that time trying to pick up
materialistic things and stuff and we're
not training our mind no and that's the
most important thing and you know I'm
proud of you for that well done and I
think that and the best thing with that
is it's taking you two years and I'm
kind of glad it's taken you two years
because now you know how hard it is and
I suppose you can appreciate the skills
and skilling up and stuff so oh yeah
100% like hundred percent um because
throughout that time you know I had
never had I've never had a job before
I'd never had a job before at this point
open to the age of 22 I'd never had a
job
Wow I was living off the system and I
was unrolled as one would pull it I was
on road you know when you walk around in
the street and you see that hooded
person walking around that was me that
was me
day and night that was me
Wow so you know I've gone from that
person to now and he said upskilling
myself train in my mind training myself
to be a better person and what was
actually a really big turnaround for me
was one day I was sat in my flat and I
said to one of my friends I said you
know what I need to change I sat down
with my friend and I said to him I said
you know why why do we do these things
like you know why do we why do we
actually do these things well and he
looked at me and he turned to me and he
said well we have to this we need to do
it and from there I thought now I can
survive in a different way I don't need
to be creating heartache and committing
you know crimes to you know I mean to
get him to go finally yeah yeah and I
actually turned to him and I said you
know what tomorrow I'm gonna change my
clothes and he said what do you mean
you're gonna change clothes I said I'm
gonna change my clothes because at that
time I was always wearing black as I
said I was that person that you see on
the show you know everything that I had
was you were basically fitting the
stereotype this there was like
absolutely yeah 100%
and I said everything I had was black
down to my socks down to my boxers
everything was black yeah and I said to
him I said you know who I'm gonna change
I'm gonna go hey chin him and I'm gonna
buy myself some light colored clothes
and he started laughing at me and I was
like why you laughing for
and he said our heads on you're not
gonna go and do that that gave me the
motivation that I needed the next day I
woke up I woke up early
got myself a shower and I went to town
and I went and bought a white top blue
jeans I actually came out wearing the
clothes and I put my black clothes in a
bag and I was sat at the bus stop and
this old lady came up to me and she just
started randomly talking to me tell me
about her or all day or what she was
gonna do for the day tell me about her
grandkids tell him about her kids tell
me why she had planned now when I
actually mentioned this story to people
they they always laugh because they
don't see that as a big thing but for
me that was a big thing because that has
never happened before I'm not saying she
wouldn't but would she have spoken to
you or would you have even been in a
place that was approachable if you were
addressed how you address yeah but
exactly so and when I I remember the
whole journey she was speaking to me on
the bus because she was um she was
coming she was on the same bus style was
on I remember the whole journey I was
just smiling to myself and I got off the
bus and I went to my flat
and I just sat there and I was just
smiling to myself and my friend came
round to my house and he said oh yo
you've done it of course I've done it
yeah I said don't ever doubt me because
when I say something when I say I'm
gonna do something called do me and I've
always stuck to that model if I say that
I'm gonna do something and I said when
that old lady spoke to me that really
changed me it made me it made me realize
that actually I wasn't a bad person that
I was I was just as you said making bad
choices can I just touch on what you
just said there so you just said
something fiercely that I wasn't a bad
person so somewhere along your life in
your journey you had this belief that
you were a bad person because maybe
society told you you're a bad person all
the decisions you made there's a very
strong thing and I try and say this to a
lot of people is we are the story that
we tell ourselves so if you consistently
keep telling yourself that you're a bad
person
somewhere along the line you're gonna
start acting like a bad person you're
gonna you're gonna find your way to
almost fit the narrative a bit like
myself when I used to say I was shy and
anxious one I was very shy and anxious
but two I'd almost get myself out of
situations where I could grow and become
a person not shy and anxious if that
makes sense so yeah yeah definitely it's
weird because you've touched on three
three ladies now who have really come at
pivotal points in your life so you had
Yvonne initially then you had the lady
who took your appointment she said not
another black man and then you've got
this third lady you just come on a bus
and it's almost like somebody sending
you a message all the time yeah again
it's those subtle messages that people
actually ignore that actually are the
things that change your life if you
allow them to and if you accept it if
you're allowed into an if you accept it
and it's exactly is it that simple
because you could you could have I could
have seen that in a different way you
know but I didn't and I decided to see
in the way that I did that these people
are trying to change my life and that's
how he's bettered me and that's
I've decided to change or did decide to
change get him back to the story of when
I was actually at court for my son or
when I got all of those qualifications I
remember I went to court and I initially
slapped it down on the table like I
literally slapped it down like he was
like it was a movie or something
and it's just like try and stop me from
seeing my son like that that's all I
said
and the judge looked at me and he said
we actually can't stop you though but we
can't stop you from seeing your son you
know I mean and it was a good feeling to
know that you know I had achieved all of
those things for my son
absolutely and I ended up winning the
court case so that was one of the real
pivotal reasons why I decided to change
but yeah like from there I just didn't I
didn't decide to stop you know I didn't
just think to myself okay like I've won
the court case now I don't need to bet
myself no more I don't need to enhance
my life no more I'm just gonna chill
like I've never done that I'd still
decided to keep moving forward keep
progressing and and it was quite funny
yeah because when I was doing the
voluntary work there was people coming
up to me saying why are you actually
working in here like there is no reason
for why you need to be working here and
I said I'm doing it to better myself
like I'm doing it I love it I'm just
doing it for myself and I was there for
two months two to three months I was
there for doing the volunteer work every
day I was dressing in a suit don't ask
me why I was just arrested in the seat
just because swaggered out I mean the
British Heart Foundation you know and
people say people just got to understand
why button again was all because of my
mentality I wanted to have a different
mentality and what was actually
interesting was that they actually took
me they signed me off from the Job
Center and signed me on to perhaps and
it was for like those people that really
wanted to find the job and it was them
that actually got me involved with the
Prince's Trust so one day I went in and
I see my advisor and I asked him I said
oh he's there he's there anything going
on is there anything happening there any
jobs available and he turned to me and
he said oh there's there's no jobs or
anything
like that but there's a thing with the
princes trustees could get started in
theater mm-hmm and I was like okay I was
like what is it he was like it's not a
job it's like a course I was like okay
and he was like but I don't know if you
are done if you want to do it because
it's more like a confidence-building
course but he's like hezron you know
you've already got confidence so you
don't really need to do that course and
I don't think that they would accept you
mm-hmm and I looked him and I said put
me on it I said even if I don't get
accepted onto it put me on it anyway
I'll go I'll see what they say if they
accept me then they do if they don't
then oh wow it's just enough one of
those things mm-hmm so we did he put me
on it it was at the Birmingham rep
theatre where it was being held so I
went to the Birmingham rep theatre had
like a little open day for it and it
would taste a day a little workshop so I
had done that I had they had then put me
onto the course and when I was on this
course
I sat down and I said to myself I am
going to commit a hundred percent that
was it that was it I just said I'm gonna
commit a hundred percent I'm gonna say
hello to every single person I'm gonna
be the last person to leave and I'm
gonna be the first person there that's
what I said to myself and I stuck to me
he got to the point where people were
were asking who I was because I kept
saying hello to random people I was I
was walking around a bearing a rep
theatre the saying just just being like
hello
morning morning and people couldn't
understand why I just kept saying
morning and hello but that got the
attention of people in the Birmingham
rep theatre and I ended up doing the
course so at the end of it we had to
perform a play outside the brick theatre
and we had to market it ourselves we
educate posters we had to do the play
ourselves and we look doing this play
and guy from the West End came and the
directing manager of the rep was there
as well
his name was Steve bored and after
winning had finished everyone was
getting their awards and he when
everyone was getting their awards for
completing the
course the guy turned around from West
End and he said Oh where's hezron Brown
where is he
so I'll step forward and he said I'm
actually a talent scout and I would like
you to play a part on the West End and I
was like what so every wonder there
everyone's there applauding everyone's
clapping but while they're doing that
I'm standing there baffled thinking I'm
not an actor like and I actually said
that to him and he was like you've
actually got talent he said you might
not know it but you have he actually he
wanted me to play donkey in Shrek but I
said to you no I haven't got no
experience and he said yeah I know you
haven't got any experience that's why
the repple gonna take you one sit in
Steve ball he then stepped forward and
said yes as wrong if you come and see me
next week we can talk about
opportunities about how to kind of
better your skills and enhance your
acting basically so I did I mean I've
seen him and he gave me some acting
position that the Birmingham rep theatre
just like that and from there that's
when things really started to change so
I have now gone from this person that
was homeless this person that never had
no food at times never had no money at
times that was unrolled at times to now
this person who's an actor at the
Birmingham rep theatre you can make a
film on that I could make a film be the
actor as well so then the Prince's Trust
got wind of it so I sat down with a
woman called Tsukiko Hale who is the
young ambassador executive manager in
the West Midlands and I sat down with
her so I told her my story as she said
okay she said how would you feel about
becoming an ambassador for the Prince's
Trust and I said yeah like I'm up for
that I definitely hundred percent I
think I think that's a great lesson for
anyone I'm not saying necessarily you
wanting to become an actor but what you
did want to do is put yourself in a
better situation around better people
and have a better life and by you
embracing that opportunity and just
literally throwing yourself out there
because I can
imagine how comfortable you must have
felt coming from straight black black
hoodie black jogging bottoms to a suit
saying hello to people who you don't
know how they're gonna perceive you
being overly enthusiastic spending time
out of your own day go to charity places
like British Heart Foundation and to put
yourself in that environment and then
just shine I just I just think it's
amazing and hopefully people listen to
this and think if you really want
something in life and if you know what
you want just go ahead and do it do you
know what I mean don't wait don't wait
for someone to give you give you the nod
or the acceptance because you've got to
take control of your life and you've
done it may in fair play Tia thank you
you know what it's all about South
belief I agree oh you know like there's
nothing more powerful than self belief
nothing if you believe in yourself and
you believe that you can achieve then
you can if you tell yourself every
single day I'm gonna be a millionaire
you'll be a millionaire not just because
you've said it every day but because
you're you're putting it out there to
the universe you're installing that into
your mindset so things that you will do
from that point on will be things to
make you a millionaire absolutely a lot
of people don't believe in themselves
they don't and to be honest I'm guilty
of it so I never believed in myself I
was into podcasts about two years ago or
three years ago yeah they are always
wanted it because I'm always fascinated
by people's stories and I used to say
certain things about my life and people
find it inspiring and it's taken me like
12 months to really have the self belief
and you touched on something there like
the millionaire thing and it's a bit
like you know for instance you go and
buy a red car for example you're going
to see that red car everywhere and that
they call that the reticular activation
system is kind of some scientific term
so when you start saying you're a
millionaire and you start putting it out
there into the universe you're going to
start seeing opportunities where you can
potentially become a millionaire you're
going to be you're going to see
millionaires and millionaires you might
have a conversation with one you might
pick up some information from him
through your 20 minute conversation or
whatever so I think you've hit the nail
on the head there self belief is so
important especially to inspire people
are motivated to go out there and do
what they want to do you have to believe
in yourself you have to have him and you
have to because what will happen is that
opportunities will present themselves to
you but you won't take them because you
don't believe in yourself because
said you might feel like you're too shy
or you know you've got this anxiety when
you're around so you know like then is
you then start to lose out on some of
the things that are actually there to
actually better your life things are
only just started now really you know to
look up and as much as you know I had
done all those things before to better
myself it's only now that the
opportunities are actually coming my way
things that I had never seen before now
I was doing like garner dinners I was
going to red carpet events I was I was
standing in front of corporate buses
telling him about my life story telling
him about how the Prince's Trust has
helped me and I'm at these I'm at these
places and I'm thinking to myself how
did I even get here
like sometimes it's a bit unreal because
I'll be sitting there and I'll be I'll
be remembering the people that I used to
hang around with mmm
I remember the things that I used to do
I remember the hard times that I was in
the times when I was literally I went
for a depression I was literally like
you know I was having suicidal thoughts
I was I was I never thought life was
worth living you know every day crying
myself to sleep because of the situation
that I was in so I've gone from that
person to now sitting down at a table
around millionaires literally
millionaires pretty it's corporate
bosses eating lobster like literally
eating lobster for my start I mean I'm
kind of things I'm thinking like it's
crazy like it's crazy how I got myself
from there today but obviously it was
possible and obviously I'm done later
self belief and it's the process and
it's the process and people forget the
process and you you've had to endure it
and a lot of people think they can just
wish something and it just happens in a
month in a week sometimes it can take
five years sometimes it could take ten
years I'm glad for your sister for your
sake and for the community because of
the work you're doing now it's happened
it's quicker because now you're out
there and you're able to do great things
so mmm it's fantastic man thank you
thank you so he built up my confidence
it built up
the passion that I had actually because
I think what was what was hindering meet
me before was that I actually didn't
know what I wanted to do a lot of people
were always like saying okay what do you
want to do you know like you know what
you want to be coming I was always like
I actually don't know and I actually
don't know what I want to do I don't
know what I want to become
but the Prince's Trust gave me the
answer and it was from doing all those
events because I was doing those events
and I was talking to these people in my
mind I was always thinking these aren't
the people that need to hear my story
it's the young people that need to hear
my story surgery and from there I
started going into schools I was doing
it for free I was just going into
schools speak into year groups and I was
just speaking to the young people turned
him about my story
sometimes on a one-to-one basis
sometimes as a whole year group and the
impact I was making and that I was
seeing was it was unreal you know cuz
there are a lot of young people that are
going through similar finger yeah what
I've gone through and to be able to say
to them actually like I went through
that but this is where I am now and to
see their face actually light up and
think hope to know that they've got hope
that they can now you know that they can
continue like there was a boy that I
spoke to I told him my story and it was
it was during a it was during one of my
talks that I do and and he was to the
whole year group and this boy came up to
me at the end and he's eternal it's okay
what's mean he said can you be my mentor
and I said well yeah like if you want me
to any went I've got a temper and it's
exactly how you describe yours and he
was like to see and it's because he said
you know he always keeps getting into
bad situations and his temper keeps
defining him and I looked at him and I
said your temper doesn't define you I
said you know I've got a temper you
wouldn't even believe it but I've got a
temper as well but look where I'm
standing and now you're coming up to me
asking me for help you
I said you can be that person in the
future absolutely and and to see his
face was light up it was great man and
it's nice really it's the best feeling
to know that you've made an impact on
someone's life in a way that you never
actually thought you could you know was
it sitting there before and I was
thinking you know if I speak about my
temper that's gonna help people
something that could be possible it's
well deserved given from me it was wrong
because you couldn't were given up and
you could have just I could have given
up stayed in that life and contrib sent
a hundred percent and this is what
people need to understand that life that
I was in before there was only two there
was only two roads
it was either jail or death and the life
you live in now the opportunities and
just the hell it's unreal to be honest
this is kind of like one of my missions
as well because you mentioned like
temper then just from you saying that
story one person who could relate to
your story you could potentially have a
role on effect for his life and then he
couldn't do fantastic things and the
guests that I've got on this podcast
they're all got their own story so one
of my good friends he's got blind in one
eye and all eyes people because he's a
boxing coach he's a fantastic person
that one of the best people I know and
somebody who's going through those kind
of issues they might be able to relate
to each story I've got somebody who's
enlivened with cancer and they're
struggling in their mindset and dealing
with that so that's gonna help people
who are suffering with cancer so what
about finding people who have had
adversity in their life but they've been
not given up they've not let the cards
that lived out an effect and what
they've done is they played with them
the best way they can and they found a
way to win the game and you're under
money you're winning and longmate
content I'm winning my I'm gonna move it
on a little bit now I'm a big believer
that we are resort of the things we tell
ourselves but I'm also a big believer
that ideally habits are really important
as well so now if you could just tell
people now it's a day in the life of
hezron Brown a day in the life of hezron
Brown yeah well you know I need I need
to be true for everyone I'm not I'm not
a celebrity yet you know yeah yes but
it's the process and he still sees to
the process I'm just looking to be
someone that you know these young people
can look up to and and hopefully how
change some people's lives but a life in
the day of
Brown is a life like everyone else you
know I get luck actually what I one
thing I do is when I get up I look in
the mirror for about five minutes and I
just stare at myself as much as as much
as we're that that sound yeah stare at
myself I put my hands on my hips hmm and
I just stare I'll just stare into my
face I just stare into my eyes okay and
I'll just keep saying to myself you're
gonna make it you're gonna make it I'm
gonna make it yes and that's all I keep
saved myself and I do it oops about five
minutes sort of standing it and that
actually gives me the motivation to to
do what I need to do in the day mmm mmm
you know if there's anything that I need
to look at in regards to work or you
know if there's someone I need to go and
speak to it just gives me the motivation
that I need
it's a powerful affirmation and
subconsciously you're strengthening your
self belief which is the reason you're
doing amazing things now so I think that
that's really important this is kind of
why I asked the question because
somebody always has something in their
routine which they might not necessarily
see as an amazing thing but it's some
kid out there who doesn't believe in
himself just simply stands up in the
mirror tomorrow morning with their hands
on the hips or wherever they want to put
it and they just say empowering things
like I am NOT shy for example or I am
worth more I will achieve more I will do
more for people and they consistently
say that and it's not not just once
you've got you've got to keep saying it
especially if you haven't got the self
belief they will start seeing they will
change so mate that's a fantastic point
I think I think it's I've actually got
an image now because I said I said what
you look like and standing there now
decide I shouldn't be thinking it you
know because I've got black boxes I've
got you there and I know it's empowering
for myself as well you know for my
mindset and because I said he just gives
me the motivation that I need but yeah
after that put my clothes on go to work
and come home eat food
go to bed well actually no that's that's
why I eat food and work on work on
myself again so that's good at the
moment when I say
that I go into schools and colleges and
people are Farrow units youth offending
teams prisons I do my talk but I also
talk about some of the social issues
that are plaguing a society as well so I
give talks on nice crime I give talks on
county lines and I'm creating other
programs as well other presentations
that I can do in schools as well so at
the moment
that's what I'm doing just trying to
create those presentations create I said
I'm just I'm out here trying to help
people so love it in the evening that
just work on myself fantastic just
offline we'll take this conversation
offline on my I did this little bit out
I was a social worker in my last life as
well
and I send the kids that I've gone
through the system and how hard it is
and stuff so one of my big goals in life
is to have a social impact change as
well so something for offline because
obviously you're in Princes trust I want
to start a social enterprise for mental
health as well there's a lot of things
that I feel that in the future we can
work on to make a massive difference in
the world so let's definitely go let's
let's do it mind let's do it let's go
man
the next question is about adversity and
I think you've pretty much touched on a
hell of a lot of adversity but if we can
just go back to one example and what I
want you to do is give us the lessons
that he's taught you and how that's made
you stronger today oh I would say the
toughest like adversity that I faced was
when I was in that bed and breakfast
going through that time when I never had
no money I never had no food when I mean
that time for me was harder I mean that
time for me was hard I was 15 years old
turning 16
imagine being that age - to fend for
yourself literally like everything yeah
and you know I remember nights Mitchell
I said I was crying myself to sleep
because I was that hungry that my belly
fat like he was turning inside out and I
think that taught me especially now he
taught me not to take for granted things
that I do for me yeah that's one of the
biggest things for me at the moment like
I just I just I'll just live life how I
want to live life but I just do what I
want to do
because as I said I look back to those
times and and I realize actually where
I've come from and you know you've got a
sense of gratitude now as well for
anything that you take which is really
oh listen you should see me when I eat
food you should you should yeah ah
though you don't want to be around me
the chicken brilliant brilliant
okay so the next one's a little bit
we're gonna spin it a little bit again
what's your biggest fear now my biggest
fear is my temper even now and me losing
my temper losing that control and
something bad happens which puts me back
in that situation that I was in when I
was younger a hell of a lot to lose as
well now and I've got so I've got so
much to lose like and you know when I'm
trying to say like I want to be a role
model for these young people and how can
I be a role model if I'm out here
getting locked up for something or you
know I can't be that role model that
these young people need if I'm doing
those if I'm doing those things and it
is hard there's a guy called inky
johnson I don't know if you know him he
says something about there's no point
you trying to be a public success if
you're a private failure exactly it's so
powerful because it's so easy on social
media to try and portray yourself to be
somebody else do you know what I mean
but I think you have enough having that
in the back of your mind knowing how did
these kids depend on me you don't know
he's watching you tomorrow it could be a
kid who's about to go and do the worst
thing in his life but if he sees you and
he's looking at you and think it's hot
in a minute this guy he's going places
doing things that maybe I could do that
it might just completely change his
trajectory of his life on the basis of
that so obviously you've got that in the
back of your head you don't wanna let
yourself down you go you've got your
little one as well what's your what else
keeps you going what's your motivation
is it just to know go out there just be
bigger better help more people yeah my
motivation now is to get into as much
schools of a can as much prisons as I
can as much people refer units listen I
just want to get in front of as much
young people as I can
and spread my story and hopefully change
people's lives that's my motivation
along with my kids as well as I said you
know I don't I want I want my kids to
grow up
clean him proud of me err you know how
yeah that's something that's something
in my life that I've never really had
you know people being proud of me
and I think as well that's something
that I've tried to strive for yeah I'll
try to strive against that that
acceptance you know and for my kids main
leaf mostly I just want them to be proud
of me yeah I just want them to be happy
and know be able to say to people you
know that's my dad you know there were
100 percent hundred saying man to man
I'm proud of you for how far you've come
as well in your stories is I'm excited
mate for you for your future I'm
genuinely excited yeah I can't wait for
the things it's okay so what we're gonna
do now we're gonna go into a quick fire
round of 60 seconds and we're gonna put
has run through his paces we're gonna
ask him as many questions as possible so
if you're ready we're gonna start in
three two one
okay the ability to fly or be invisible
ability to fly money your fame money
Netflix or YouTube Netflix Coke or Pepsi
or Pepsi would you rather know how you
will die or when you were dying oh when
I would die love or money love books or
movies movies if you could sit with one
person in the world for an hour who
would it be my kids I love them what is
your biggest addiction my baby oh they
give the Dixon food summer or winter
summer your favorite place in the world
my bed speak or languages will be able
to speak to animals speak or languages
your favorite song I don't have fun the
last song you listen to okay love it
your favorite superhero Superman if you
could abolish one thing in the world
what would it be or badness love it love
it okay times up so now we have finished
that round we're gonna move over
straight back into the interview section
of the show so the next question has run
it's about reflection so how that's a
wonderful thing and upon reflection we
can always think of ways to get to where
we are currently quicker easier or with
less heartache but I guess the journey
teaches us a lot especially
your journey as well and I've got a real
belief that everything happens for a
reason
Oh hundred percent absolutely so what I
want to know is if you could go back in
time to one moment where you really
struggled let's let's take that
bed-and-breakfast example and suffered
with that adversity being hungry in that
moment and you could just whisper
something into your ear knowing what you
know now and where you're going now what
would it be
stay strong mmm literally stay strong
cuz I said that was something that I
always and I struggled with men when I
mean like you know I was having those
suicidal thoughts I was having some real
suicidal thoughts you know and if I
could go back then and you know speak to
myself I would just say heads one stay
strong don't cry just stay strong stay
on the path I wish I had done this stuff
earlier but you know one thing that I
always say it's people is I'm glad that
I've lived the life yeah people people
always people always say to me like oh
if you could go back in time would you
change would you change anything no I
wouldn't and if anything called probably
do it worse because because now I have
the story sit down and speak to people I
can sit down and speak to well I have
I've sat down and spoken to older people
hmm about things that they thought I
would never know nothing about but I'm
able to sit down and speak of them
because of what I've been through so
suddenly that brings us to the last
question and the last question I always
like to ask my guess is if in 150 years
time we're all dead because science
hasn't managed to save us and all that's
left is one book and that book is based
on your life about you telling the world
who hezron Brown really was what I wanna
know is what that Blair would say and
then I'm just gonna add a little
question at the end is what would you
call it as well
okay I'm gonna probably call it the
struggle is real of it that's not
probably what I would call it the
struggle is real so if anyone's out
there who's listening that can write a
book for me that's what the fight will
be the struggle is real
and I think the blurb would like the
blurb would just have to be something
like you know this is a man but you have
to say in a voice as well you can't just
do it like normally he has to be like in
a voice like you know okay like a Liam
Neeson kind of voice I'm gonna try a
success with Scott let's go this is a
man this is a man after facing hard
times changed and became a better man
for the love of his kids and for the
love of what he wanted to do for society
I like it I like it I like it I like it
but it would have sounded better with
the Liam Neeson voice but oh that's
brilliant that's - basically the end of
the show so what I normally do now as
well is I ask people to reach out to you
if you wouldn't mind and I think your
story just one that's gonna inspire
thousands of people so I've got you on
Twitter but I know you've just started
that have you got any of the social
media platforms yeah like I'm on
Facebook
okay um I'm on Twitter I'm on LinkedIn
as well is Helzer on brown on on most of
them I think um Twitter its hezron Brown
90 okay fantastic fantastic what I'll
also do is I'll put all these links to
hezron social media in the show notes so
if anyone wants to reach out please do
check the show notes and you'll find
everything and as always thanks for
listening and remember this podcast is
absolutely free so all we ask in return
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