Find Your Voice

Find your voice - Episode 2 - The Wake Up Call by Jin Atwal

Jins life screams adversity. The loss of his uncle, father and sister within such a short space of time caused his life to spiral out of control. The word death links closely to Jin's life as does the word alcohol abuse. A stigma perhaps in the punjabi, asian community Jin refused to let this be his story. he wanted more.

Determined to succeed and not let his circumstances dictate his future he woke up and took control of his life and started writing his own story. Now in the process of writing his own book, “The Wake up call” Jin is now looking to inspire others and help them cope with the grief he has suffered.

Alongside this he has a mission to help children and ensure they struggle with less hardship in their lives!

If you think that’s not enough his also a successful property investor with many more talents..

"When you lose somebody, it's always there. It never goes away." - Jin Atwal

Thanks for listening

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Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Links to guest:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/manjinder.atwal

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jin120280/

#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice

YouTube Transcript

[Music]

welcome to an episode of find your voice

a movement led by yours truly

Aren do a guy who has overcome

crippling anxiety adversity and

difficulty like so many of you in life

whose main goal now is to help you

combat your excuses take control of your

life write your own story and most

importantly find your voice so now

without further ado I welcome the host

of the show himself mr. Aren do what's

going on people yes that is correct my

name is Aren and I am the host of the

show so I'm extremely excited today

because my guest is somebody who's not

only got an incredible story that is

riddled with ups and downs and trials

and tribulations but he's also someone I

consider a friend alongside that he's

also a loving father to two beautiful

girls he's a loving husband and he's a

very successful property investor so I

think it's more important we speak to

him rather than listening to myself

because some of the stuff he's gonna say

is really gonna blow your mind so

without further ado let's get this

interview on the way good morning Jin so

how are you doing today good thank you

how about yourself

not too bad thank you just a little bit

of a cold which hopefully doesn't affect

the podcast too much so I just want to

start firstly by saying thank you for

taking time out of your day to share

your story I'm very confident it's going

to obviously inspire other people

knowing who you are as a person so I

think it's important for the listeners

to basically get to know you

so if you could just please explain how

you've progressed through life and ended

up where you are currently okay so

without sounding like the okie Don

Goonies indeed though I'll give you a

bit of a summary so a bit about me

so my first memories of a child is

probably my older sister he was about

three years older than me and she's to

kind of always be up to mischief and I

was well I was a little sidekick I'll

tell you one of those stories so one of

the times she dared me to throw a stick

at a wasp's nest me crazily is to do

everything she told me to do seems like

a good idea why not

yeah so I did that what spirit stick I

was nest and had a swarm of wasps

chasing me and the garden didn't end

well for me educate imagine but yeah I

you know I just follow around everywhere

and I was always you know really proud

of her you know she's got a big

inspiration to me

growing up and then caught us to

summarize the kind of years after that I

could prolly summarize the kind of

experience a lot of grief at the deal

we've my dad he was an alcoholic seen a

lot of violence and experiences of

loneliness as a child so kind of going

into the grief part the first

experienced grief when I was around 10

years old so my dad's younger brother my

uncle I used to live with us for a while

and so I was very close to him and kind

of be wiseass or even mourning a second

dad really and around Christmas Eve was

on Christmas Eve he went out for a works

party we have a few of his friends and

there's all over the local quite drunk

and the drive was over the limit and on

the way home and started getting chased

by police officers and they tied the

driver decided to try to get away and he

ended up smashing the car into a brick

wall

my uncle was at the back in the middle

seats about a seatbelt on so probably

the worst place you could be

and a head-on crash I need to basically

just went straight right straight to the

front and died on scene so he was all

holy person in the car to die

and it was just clearly in the wrong

place in the car really sorry to truck

how old is you at this time yes I was

about 10 years old at the time and yeah

it's kind of a difficult time for me I

think as as people or any heart we find

it hard to deal with grief and I think

that's especially within the Indian

community so I think nobody ever spoke

to me about it and it was kind of is

there happening in the background and I

could see the pain in my dad and my

family and stuff like but nobody ever

came and

how we felt as children and I saw and I

think I ever dealt with it properly

until happy until like recently really

where I kind of started to think about

it bit more so that was kind of the

beginning of you know make me experience

him grief from what grief was like and

then from there I think my dad he

already kind of had a Greek problem at

the time kind of just went off the rails

so he just didn't had to handle it and

well his wife and he would just turn

into drink and weave that he started to

become quite violent and we experienced

a lot of violence in the household on a

kind of daily weekly basis basically so

our store are still quite young then and

I felt it is my role to protect my

family

so I used to try to get my sisters

upstairs and out the way the venison

violence is coming and then I'd come

back downstairs myself and then tried to

stop my dad but you know which I could

do being so young and that kind of

started affecting me in a you know quote

negative way it just made me feel

worthless I felt like I wasn't a man I

was like I wasn't to be able to my

family and I was really hard on myself

so kind of that continued into my

teenage years basically and as I got

older I got bigger of still was tall

really afraid of my dad kind of embedded

into me at that saw him you know if he

just raised his voice I would get really

nervous and scared and that make me felt

felt like even worse as a person and

another violence continued and you know

and I just felt like I couldn't do

anything so for me I started around

about 15 years old I turned to boxing

okay you need to boxing helped me in

many many ways it just taught me control

that aggression that was inside of me

and you know that anger so yeah going to

help me in a lot of ways but also

started getting the reputation at school

as the Hardeman and you know every time

in school say Argentina Sortino sausage

and I end up gaining points at school I

I thought I was always quite lonely

primary school didn't have any many

friends didn't have any you know just to

walk around myself I didn't have a funny

time we have a single friend until about

10 years old and then when I got a

secondary school you know started making

a few friends but not many but then he

always always for the wrong reasons I

kind of I got known as tough guy you

gain two points or then I started

drinking myself which I always I used to

hate alcohol

I've seen is what I call my dad problems

of course I lost my uncle for alcohol

alcohol related but I think there's one

time I just I just I drinking with some

friends they started a lot more early

than me and I just II I didn't really

haven't I couldn't really pick in the

crowd and they stole do their own thing

and went out with one time's it come on

now every drink with Jean and I end up

drinking with him I was talking most

often and I kind of got that reputation

and as you know he's a good laugh when

he has a drink and he's he's you know he

gets it he's a good good good of

pointing so if any trouble you're salty

and that's not the person I wanted to be

inside well that's the person I became

and that continued really for many years

and then from there I kind of I went to

when I finished school into University

and I kept that persona you know Jean

was the default crazy fun guy that you

could have a good laugh we've ended up a

few drinks and he's you know they were

tough not and you know inside I always

felt that that's not me I'm just I'm

just no other person and that's the

person that people like they don't like

if I really thought he was myself people

wouldn't like that I wouldn't be that I

wouldn't you know I wouldn't be that one

person that everybody enjoys or became

somebody else basically that's very

interesting point I think you just made

there your dad and the violence in the

house and I supposed you somehow

indirectly almost became that kind of

person ie the Hardman for example yeah

but I think it takes a mazing awareness

which you've just mentioned a couple of

seconds ago that you quickly realize

that okay although I'm getting plaudits

and people are kind of now coming to me

and the finding my company great for

example but this isn't the kind of

person I want to be known as and I think

that takes a lot of awareness because

people will relate to this we sometimes

pigeonhole ourselves into situations or

groups just because we fit in by being a

particular person but what I always want

to try and do is tell people don't try

and fit into a crowd by being somebody

you're not

I just wanted to point that out just for

the listeners because I think it's

important that you were able to

recognize that hold on a minute this

isn't Janette well this is an episode or

should we call it a chapter of your life

but this isn't the person that you are

it's certainly not the person that I

know today yeah I think yeah if I did

realize but I didn't I didn't I didn't

take action to change I was very quickly

to be honest I took me a long long time

so now after finishing University I'll

stop and I was not that reputation I was

still that kind of person and then I

started my job and you know I did I'd

come a first job working for a big

energy company in there I was stolen a

happy you know started off doing a job I

didn't really want to do just to get my

foot in the door a degree in Business

Studies what I did didn't really seem to

help me and get there was the kind of

income that I wanted so I started off

stapling bills for a big energy company

you know I haven't been to university

and don't open house you know I was

there stifling bills you know five days

a week and I kind of annoyed me and I

got my head down and I know right

jin-hee you can't do this you need to

you need to you know work your way up in

the companies so I got my head down and

I moved from that position all the way

up until senior position within the

company in ten years looking at the

business strategy so my rock my roll

towards the end of my career empower was

looking at the business strategy and how

we can use smart metering it's more

dated to launch new product into the

market so it's a good it's a good job or

not you know I worked my way up from

stepping bills to that it was a massive

achievement but even through then I

wasn't happy I was like you know I'm

still not me I don't know who I am I

don't know he was you know I know I'm

not the vision of what I want to be

myself I don't know who the vision I

want to be of myself it should be what I

should look like I always had a dream of

getting into property on it so because I

did is I do remember Matthew told me

younger we didn't really make much money

on it because we didn't really know what

we were doing it we don't got all the

space

properties we need you know we turn them

into amazing homes but didn't really

think about in terms of the cash flow

and and how much would make from the

property so yeah he's always in the back

of mind because like not having a hard

to feel home as a young as a child you

know I never felt like my home was home

always had this vision that I would one

day create amazing homes for people to

live in so he's always my vision and

always something I said to my wife and I

when I got married and said does it on

again to property or Nicholas say all

the time she probably got better put me

here here with me saying it to be honest

and then the other thing going to say

I'm one day I'm going to go to a third

world country and I'm gonna build a well

and I'm gonna build a school for

children I'm gonna do so I'm gonna do

that

dreams and I was doing nothing that

would ever get me there my dream we

didn't have a fighting chance ever

recording reality because I wasn't doing

anything to get there so just I'm just

talking about them and then I kept it so

by doing that as time goes by and you

start talking about these dreams and

they're not happening you lose the dream

start fading and you start losing faith

and you you just falling into a routine

of work and doing things that you don't

want to do and life's passing you by and

you know you kind of start losing a lot

of life and you dreams fade you start

fading as a person so I kind of always

said one day when I get married under

I'll start doing all this I'll get my

dad wouldn't it from a company one day

and I'll start using that money to do

all this stuff and you know any focus on

something I'd say thank you folks it'll

be a comedy well is yeah I think that is

true because I focused on becoming

redundant I boxed in the wrong things

my folks I made redundant and I got made

redundant which is an unusual thing for

anyone to kind of focus on his foes yeah

and he's focused on that because of a

lump sum of money I put that lump sum of

money out then I couldn't start doing

what I wanted to do okay

I don't like us but like I speaking to

one of my friends when I was a I hadn't

seen him for about twenty years and and

he said are we so you brought BMW in the

end I said yeah and he goes I go why why

do you say that

I used to always say I'm gonna BMW and I

kind of laughed three months ago I wish

I said I was gonna buy a Lamborghini

yeah so I think being made redundant

kind of was just the start of my new

life really kind of all kind of mr. part

be up more logically just as a Finnish

University

I just finished and I got news that my

dad had fallen over and bumped his head

around by the same time as my sister

just got married she got off on a

honeymoon on a honeymoon and then and

then we got a call sign for the hospital

saying he'd you know he died in hospital

he formed his head and we when I've been

in hospital and when I saw him there I

was not really angry I am and I saw him

you know probably wanted to give him a

hawker today you know because he just

you know he didn't look he had a big a

lot of bruising on his face I know that

but those are part of me is like what

are you doing to yourself or what you

know take control of your locals and

nothing and that came out I just said to

him like you know I'm ashamed of you you

know you need to you need to sort

yourself out and then I just turned up

turned away and walked at the hospital

and that turned out to be the last words

I ever said to my dad we got a call that

noise saying that a fellow in hospital

again and it is in a coma basically Hey

and this basically just miss missed me

up totally for years you know not not

just short-term he just played on my

mind and I started drinking a lot more

and every time I drank a stick like cryo

friends and say hey look you know this

is more last words I said to my dad this

was said in the law you know it's not

your fault you know I just I just

wouldn't go away

and it wouldn't go away I like I said

waiting to come into my work went

through a company and just another doing

all this dope never it always be in the

back of our mind and then being made

redundant I kind of that looks like that

was start to my new life and I got made

redundant in January 2017 so I'm not

talking long ago but at that point I

kind of would

kind of introduced to the property world

well you know property cause but wasn't

the property broader so I got introduced

but when you got into property courses

you started you got you you're basically

going to room full of people that's they

haven't lost faith you know this dog

dreaming and still turn out action that

dream

I mean you surround yourself with those

people you start believing again y'all

start believing again and that changed

me totally I said I believe in my dreams

again but it wasn't just that they stay

told me to read books right and okay

what books is it oh god we should read

Rich Dad Poor Dad start yourself off so

I did that okay this is good I enjoyed

reading that book I'm from then I just

thought I'd read and self development

books all the time

and I've never done anything like that

in my life and this won't help you

understand me he was why I felt why I

did you know I thought I began to

realize there's a book out there for

every single thing in your life so to

help you and things and so I was like

reading and reading a lot of books and

they've had a massive impact me it's got

a strange thing every time I pick up a

book and read it

I somehow apply that into my life and it

makes a massive difference so and how

the first book was like Rich Dad Poor

Dad showed me the property but then I

read stuff like the five-second rule

we talked No yeah I said a massive

impact on my book and what I'm alive for

early the slight edge was an excellent

taught me about you know I taught me

that I've keep saying that I'm gonna

have this much I'm gonna go and build a

well I'm gonna go and do something that

because it's not like that that things

not happen like that you you know start

off by doing a little bit at each time

and building yourself up there I think

what you just said there is a very good

point I think this is where a lot of

people they probably get the wrong

message because a lot of people read the

secret or they hear about the secret and

the thing just wishful thinking alone I

wish I could win the lottery for example

I wish I get a Lamborghini for example

and just by solely wishing that their

dreams come true but I think you

obviously explaining now you've realized

that that it takes a little bit more

than that it takes that whole mindset

the whole self-love the self-worth and

stuff which you spoke about earlier in

relation to tell you you know and I

think more important that is action and

I know you

and I think we met around the same time

you were redundant and yeah you openly

admit those times you were taking action

I think a very honest and that but now I

I see you and I think people that see

you on Facebook who are following your

journey I seen you I think you've

adopted is it a miracle morning which i

think is probably propellant to your

story but there's action being taken

there now now it's not just like fluffy

action like I'd certainly urge people to

just head over to your Facebook there's

like it's almost like a daily thing that

you're doing and you're being

accountable

I know no he knew it's more for yourself

but at the same time people are seeing

that and people are thinking hold on a

minute this guy's out there now he's

actually taken action he's world started

to change

maybe I should implement it and I know

there's a couple of other friends who

I've spoken to her actually adopting the

same thing so fair play to you for that

me yeah I think it's a to me reading

books is been a massive thing to me

change came alive meeting people that

haven't lost in lost faith in their

dreams is one big thing and another

thing we just read him books and reading

you know if you haven't got a problem

find a book for it I know that's that's

what I've found like I said I said the

miracle morning that's something I

started as well which has a lot of

massive impact on me that's basically

just having the morning routine spending

time on yourself so with me he's always

about doing stuff for the people now

making other people happy with you know

trying to do everybody kind of control

anybody's life and making sure everybody

gets on everybody's happy

and I looked when I struggled to do that

I used to feel hard on myself

but then I realized that you can't

control anybody else in life you have to

you don't think you really have control

of yourself yeah and if you don't spend

time when you saw then and trying to

give yourself to everybody's pretty self

you'll never helped anybody start

helping you start become a stronger

person and then once you're in that

position then you could have thought

helping other people and I think that's

what I realized from the miracle more

and I started spending time myself

really you know I'd go out for a run

come back for my run do affirmations

meditation you know things I found hard

to forgive me ways a bit fluffy but now

I love it and I were just doing

naturally in our meditation I like I

don't sit there and sit in silence boy

minutes I can do that I found it hard

having my own time

I never done it but now it's something I

have to do it's like a it's like a

medication for me in a way if I don't

take my medication daily I'll be start

became depressed again and I think if

you wouldn't mind just elaborating on

that actually because I'm a big believer

that we are a result of not only our

thoughts and what we tell ourselves but

our daily habits and I've seen your

world transform which is fantastic to

see as a friend so much since you've

adopted these habits so if if for the

listeners if you could just kind of

explain your daily routine so I know

you're very early

you acted up earlier than me one of the

very few so kudos to that but if you

could just explain from the moment you

wake up just very quickly kind of like

hour by hour or what you kind of do and

maybe people who have got a similar

situation to yourselves can kind of get

their medication fix and get their daily

routine similar to yourself okay so for

me waking up at 5:00 a.m.

most days I don't always do that hard on

myself as I always wind up again no I'm

in a late annoyed or make sure it's dog

it must leave but make up a bit later

but most most days are like 5 a.m. and

seen as a wake up brush want to get down

stairs I have a glass of water and then

I'll just cause it'll get at the house

as fast as I can get out do a 5k run

during that run sometimes listen to an

audio book or sometimes it just be

silencing my own thoughts and I'll just

think about things and and then think

about life think about ideas and then by

the time I get back I'm quite fresh now

the cold air outside quickly at the

moment hits your face and it just wakes

you up and then what time I get home

then I go straight into meditation I may

say for five minutes

I'm from there I'll go new look at my

goals which I've got on the wall fuel

and then do some affirmations

I'll talk to myself about what my

purpose in life is and and what I want

to achieve that's bigger than me and

then I'll write down three things that

I'm grateful for

and then you haven't done an audio book

well of Brian Oldham audiobook at the

end and then by then I'll do other

social media updates which I've started

to do not just do you know

patelliday of America morning that's

part of it trying to inspire people to

the point for me it's a massive

accountability tool so by me having to

post every single day that I've just

done my miracle morning gets me up and

it gets me doing it

I know another gonna finish it off by

posting my miracle morning telling

people Barry it's 20 inspire people

if I've got a four to the day while I

was running that came to mind or share

at that points and that starts me often

and not that way then it's right you

know it's around about seven o'clock and

my day's going to start there and we're

but kids wake up several kids to school

get back home around about nine o'clock

and then when I'm a real apartment that

day is in the impetus my property

investment business that's when I start

doing that so you know like to be

putting offers in going see properties

going to see reefers been doing you know

but by then I'm ready to go

whereas before or probably wake up at

nine seven o'clock right with the kids

Teddy come to school running around

straightaway not no time to think get

home nine o'clock have breakfast go to

the gym at 10 o'clock 10:30 11 o'clock

and start doing some work because the

kids because the kids are free o'clock

about about two hours to do ready work

on my property business how am I going

to do anything and make my property

business work I'm just spending two

hours doing more doing that you know and

that's what I realized you know by doing

everything all that stuff in the morning

get you going and in it when you get

going you're going you know you know

it's been you know a day just even like

doing stuff that you're really focusing

on during the day absolutely I think I

think it's key also as well especially

like with social media and emails and

stuff that that key part of the day that

you've taken out for yourself which as

we talked about earlier it's really

important to look after yourself in

order to be able to look after other

people it's it's done in a time where

nobody's really going to be emailing you

nobody is able to take away your energy

or control it so I I do a similar thing

I'm not shy away from the runs a little

bit more than yourself but I get myself

let's call it medication I do the stuff

for myself first so I've kind of hit

these small wins so when the day does

come and your throne with curveballs as

you probably know as a property investor

you're kind of more resilient towards it

plus if the day goes tits up shall we

call it you've still got so many things

don't let you've stood on your own

you've been the affirmation you've

inspired people online you spent time in

your daughter's you've took them to

school so you've still got a fair few

wins if that makes sense so I think yeah

it's fantastic yeah and it changed my

life and like I say I have to do it now

because I know I've spoke to you before

about this and and I look like my

property journey in January 2017 and in

this mindset stuff but then you kind of

came my whole life I became a different

person everybody around me so I know

genius you've changed you know it would

seem like really confident you know

people and people started coming to me

and saying now people that I used to

look up to you so I coming to me and

saying you know tell us about this book

you reading tell us about this you know

how how have you become this different

person and I was telling him like you

know I was inspiring people and I

thought wow this is amazing and the

first time ever I could really say that

I lost anger lost the you know the way I

felt about the past and I let it all go

Courtley and I forgave my dad and

appropriate up and I forgave myself and

more importantly and I started moving on

and I thought wow this is amazing

and then November time my sister got it

all and you know to begin me we know we

didn't think he was that bad you know I

said he's off right we were told off

Reuters because people you know have but

then it kind of then it we got told he's

coming called mixed tissue disease I and

then she went in for a routine checkup

or mid-november

and he just kept just kept between

hospital I meant being on a property

course that weekend and getting back up

one of the day and my brother-in-law

calling McKnight a nap he knows he's

just not well and she's gonna keep her

ring and you know she's annoying I see

you know and it just like crazy

I thought what what what they just said

it was you know mix tissue disease and

it goes a bit more serious and I think

it might be you know a raven where a

rare case of this so we're kind of you

know I went there straight away I know

stage of a hospital for two and a half

weeks and you know that's another thing

with property and stuff that you know

allows you to do that if possibly my job

I wouldn't be now just gone and do that

that's what I see being could made no

make me realize a limp or two that

everybody's having some kind of party

being salutely wait but kind of going

back to this door you know but what

happened he's like it just it just it

just like my whole life has changed

and you know we've been I mean I

remember this what we've seen the

consultants one of the points and he

goes that we've never seen a case of

this in the UK it's only been a handful

of cases in the world

right you know we've got nothing to

refer to and you know he says you know

it's it kind of didn't look good at all

but if you know if you heard what

they're saying you think that's it but

we never left we never lost five you

know we have to believe in no she's

gonna make it when my sister was talking

you know she's the best person I ever

knew and I feel quite decent George will

get furious and you know at the

beginning she was you know obvious the

first few days you know she's on a

breathing machine and that was told it

was like she's doing American every

single day right that's how the pressure

it was on her lungs and she's just

fighting it and it's unbelievable says

she I don't have to put her in an

induced coma you can't keep doing this

and then to Cuzco more you guys later

and you know she never I won't quote

from that and it's just like it's just a

crazy time you know obstinate you know

what points that we fought she's gonna

be okay and at those points you know

you'd lost the news it or favor getting

like along this collapsed and stuff like

her and you know I was I was able to be

there from the right from the beginning

you know I stayed there every single day

I slept there a hospital talk to her

read books to her you know I read a book

The Alchemist the first time while I was

there and they talked about no purpose

in life and stuff and then kind of made

me think and I said to her then does it

look you know I said as a child that

what I know that my purpose in life is

to make sure that every child has the

same opportunity in life that every

charge of her and that's what I'm gonna

do and I'm going to complete that

together and you know of course she's

gonna make it's gonna change your life

and we're all gonna you know

leave our life's to max because kind of

just before she went on reading the

five-second rule and I said like I said

a book always comes to me at the white

points and you said in there she talked

about a story of a better dad had a head

head tumor and she didn't want to ask

him directly

how are you afraid because she didn't

ask him that question but you could put

that you poor white 5 4 3 2 1 just ask

him I might see your sister - it was two

or three days before she went into

hospital

sat there just sitting in a chair and I

said you know for about you know what

I'm gonna say I'm gonna say 4 3 2 1

are you afraid and she goes she goes no

not really

she goes you know I know this is gonna

change my life but I think I'm gonna

deal with me she goes you know I've been

working too hard and and I already know

that I'm gonna from this it's made me

I've had to sit down it's made me stop

and it made me think about things in a

lot more detail and you guys gonna

change my life now and it spent a lot

more time with my family and they're the

folks and the things that really matter

in life and I thought yeah maybe this is

a blessing these guys it's like a

wake-up call for him he's gonna change

your life completely and you know kind

of she never had that opportunity to do

that and that was the hardest thing for

me that she she knew what she wanted to

do now you'd change in life and she

never got to do that I think that's one

of the key things have changed me saying

that you know you don't know what's

gonna happen in life you know how people

always wait wait for this wake-up call

as such you know he's gone property

causes in and let the first put the

person at the front you say to you tell

about a story of their life and used to

be about hardship and somebody barber

cam came and how he changed your life a

nice to think oh they look in a way that

this they've had something happen in

their life that give him a wake-up call

and they've got some new power that

transformed him as a person and made

everything happen for them but it

doesn't happen like that you know I lost

my sister I mean it didn't automatically

transform me into this person that's had

a wake-up call he knock me

six two six four six to be based

basically I I tried to deal with it you

know

by keeping busy first and I just free

myself into my property in the getting

finished anything else and I didn't get

much time to himself grieve to grieve

and and you know to get over it and then

it wasn't until about April so I didn't

even 18 the wife said look we need to

get away and putting a bit of time

together as a family abroad okay let's

go

and so we get to Egypt and I had a few

drinks and I kind of got back to the

room and I just got his crushed totally

and all this anger just flew out and I

was like God and I just shouting in

every way we've done this to us while

playing games of us you know tragic hard

life just as a point where my sister's

happy we're all happy mom's you know

I've settle down we've what we've all

got you know we were married about kids

moms relax for the first time in her arm

life in an alive why are you playing

games with us and why you doing this and

always anger came at it all all totally

towards God and you know I came back and

I just crashed I uh I thought green key

I was watching the World Cup under the

first time you know our drinking on

myself and I've never done night my life

and I just totally burned all that stuff

you know from just before having this

book and changing our minds in open

house all went out the window back to a

worse place and I've never been horrible

I froze in the dark hole and angry

friends I was angry angry everybody

covenant just angry person

hey you know I was angry friends for not

always asking me how I felt about my

sister

I was angry about you know people not

totally understanding how I feel and you

just I just started going out of control

and expecting some everybody's to help

me and get me out of this hole and it

does enable you to do something for me

and when they weren't able to hang with

them and then and then it came to a

point when I said look Jin you need to

control of your life what did you do at

the beginning this year to change you as

you person as a person you need to go

back to the basics and start doing that

you know I can't you can't lady sister

down that's what I basically did

and they're kind of it back to the

basics Nora okay first of all I need to

find a book I find a book that helps you

deal with grief and it's specific to me

so I went out looked on found and I

managed to find a book about how to deal

with the loss of a sibling as an adult

is that the exact title because I'm just

conscious if anyone's gone through a

similar situation to yourself yeah I

mean that's cool because there's many

books that talk about losing as a child

losing somebody but it's not many books

as losing your sibling as an adult and

then the book that is the title of the

book and I read through that helped me

understand why I thought were a way I

did how the relationship between my and

my sister is totally different to

anybody and how friends and everything

else wouldn't understand and that's why

you know your sibling is the only person

that knows you better than most people

could I seen you as a child growing up

and every stage of your life and that is

an amazing relationship that no not many

people others death understand I call my

friends brothers and I say all the time

and when I say my friends and my

brothers I really mean it and you know

that was part of my sister's wedding my

close friends that part of my you know

part of everything I bring them around

my house that I'm making part of my

family and I do everything with them but

when they didn't feel the loss of my

sister the way I felt II always angry at

them was it well she's your sister too

I get they're not how come they're not

morning with like I'm mourning and then

it wasn't until I read this that port no

they're like are having my sister was

different was different yeah and then

she's special and you know obviously I'm

gonna feel that because they didn't they

weren't they didn't grow the way I did

was they did everything that me or my

sister went through together and I think

that kind of optimize really does a star

and then then I started thinking about

more about God and my relationship with

God a lot more and then another thing a

light bulb came and he said and it was

like okay all my life I've said God did

this god help me with that

I did this God you've got about a hard

life so you owe me you owe me cuz I had

a hard life you need to make this happen

for me this happen committees happened

way and and because I've done that I've

always gave control to God an external

force and then somebody clicked in my

mind that Jin you need to take control

yourself in your own room life and then

I seen a world Smith video and Will

Smith said there's a difference between

Fault and responsibilities yeah and it

just clicked in my head again and I

thought okay you know I'm blaming

everybody blame murder blaming everybody

else their areas yeah okay it wasn't my

fault that haven't happened to me it's

not my fault I lost my sister I thought

that a lot of what I said to my dad you

know happened but he's more

responsibility start control taking

control of my life that is more

especially those with my you know that's

something I need to do and that's what I

started doing by taking control of my

life started running again so I did my

miracle morning again I started writing

the book online

another thing I've always fought is I

thought I'd seen social medias a

different tool Sydney totally

differently I thought okay these are

amazing

accountability tool and if I post my

story online every single day it'll make

me do it and I'm just I'm writing my

story so I'll do my miracle morning

senior Timmy oh good morning spend half

an hour to an hour just writing one or

two pages of my story and I continue

doing that and then you know please

don't always want to do I had all these

dreams I think I wanna do I'm gonna

start doing them now I know I could've

quit talking about him I'm gonna stop

doing them so before I know I've written

my book your forty thousand words

you know next year I'm gonna publish it

and 2019 I'm gonna sit down again put

into chapters you know and the book

gonna be called the beikoku

because I bet that's where he's been for

me you know there's been lots of wake-up

calls in my life and you know it's it's

gonna be of a twist to it because you

know people always wake white with

Michael Corbitt run tell you that you

don't need the wake-up call to change

your life and the white book or does not

net mean that you just change life my

dad had lost his brother that could have

been his wake-up call but my dad was he

a victim you know journeys on life

upside down even more so you know that

don't worry learn that Michael Cordes I

know I think this was one of the main

reasons I kind of want to join the show

as well is because okay you've had

plenty of wake up cause I'm sure people

will understand you've not had the

easiest of lives but I always myself as

well I almost trying to tell people do

not wait for something bad to happen

I tend to find that if there's a bad

event or something happens in say for

instance a family for example then all

of a sudden everyone's live in a life of

gratitude for the next week and you know

they're really grateful for the little

things in life but then very very

quickly we kind of just get consumed

back into like normal reality I suppose

or like the rat race or whatever you

want to call it and we just forget you

know and then in priority start changing

whereas I'm very conscious because

similar to yourself I mean I can't say

my life the same as you all we'll have

our own trials and tribulations but I've

always just tried to live with gratitude

even in the good and bad times and I

suppose it's come from reading and stuff

but your book sounds fantastic I know I

know you would do something I didn't

know you had written 40,000 whereas and

I'm sure it's gonna be a big hit mate

because you're not just you're not just

doing a course or reading something and

I'm writing a book about it like a lot

of people out there do today you've

lived it and one of the things which I

think people will resonate with this yes

you understand the whole aspect of

control in your life and taking

responsibility and accountability

because only you can do that but you're

also showing your vulnerabilities in

that you had it under control then you

went away I think it was in April 2018

and you lost it again

then you grasped it again and it's

almost like you know the answers but

then even even yourself with all the

mindset and the reading and all the

habits you still fall off a little bit

and I suppose it'll get easier

and I suppose sooner or later you will

nail it down and you have less of these

kind of falling off the wagon shall we

call it moments but it's inspiring it's

it's something I'm sure a lot of people

go through and a lot of people have that

kind of is it the victim mentality as

opposed to the victim as you you've got

in somewhere in you I can feel this you

don't wanna let your sister down and I'm

confident you're not letting her down

knowing the person that you are seeing

your transformation I just want to add

one more thing I remember seeing your

first Facebook live videos and we were

friends at the time and nice to watch it

I used to think this isn't the gin oh no

like did you know I know you know when

we sit together and we go out you're fun

you're laughing you're smiling and there

was almost like an element of hurt and

anger or it could just be that was five

o'clock in the morning I'm not sure but

it was weird because I was like people

need to see the real gin and it's only

recently and I'm very proud of you for

this because in the last two or three

months especially

you've kind of come out your shell and

you're almost

getting a bit of a following now which

is more than well deserved because

you've been through it and one of the

things I knew you always wanted to do

1224 months ago was to help people and

just generally inspire people and I

think you have in those in the

background I'd always keep him there a

bit like my first YouTube video as I

keep him there because I want people to

know listen myself and Jin for example

we were naturally shy introverted people

who didn't know what was going on almost

looking around the world thinking do we

belong here should we be telling people

a story and this is one of the reasons I

really wanted you to kind of tell your

story because it's only gonna expand

you're only gonna inspire more people

with it so the question was gonna ask

was about adversity first he's been a

massive part of your life with like your

sister and your uncle and your dad so

I'm gonna just kind of bypass that just

ever so slightly but if you could just

quickly just give it like one tip so I

know you use the book as an example

which really helped you overcome the

grief aspect but if there's somebody

going through something now or if

somebody out there has a friend or

family member who's going through what

would you recommend to them because I

know I spoke to you briefly about this

would you want people to come and speak

to you about your sister or your father

or would you prefer it was just kind of

swept under the carpet like the elephant

in the room yeah that's a good point

really because a lot of people like

people that even speak to me it's all

about it

you know the never said a word and for

me that that that that was worse I

because you know it's always there now

people might be daunted peak to about it

on a racy or I don't have heard that

person by bringing a memory back up but

you have to remember when you lose

somebody you never always always there

it never goes away saying you're not

gonna bring that memory back up you're

not gonna hurt me in any way you know

it's there he's not hasn't gone away so

join me and asking me how I feel you

showing me that you you know it's not

going away and you you're interested in

how I'm feeling and I'm thinking okay

thank you for that I think that's useful

because myself as well I'm guilty of

this myself is that you kind of feel

should I bring it back up again but I

think you've hit the nail on the head

there this is a part of you now like

your sisters loss is always going to be

a part of something like you just said

you it's a daily thing isn't it so

I'd tell you eight people who are

perhaps going through the same kind of

emotions or seeing someone they're

struggling with to kind of try maybe

take that advice on board I'm not saying

it was the same but it would certainly

help most people okay if I test it thank

you for that Jude I just want to just

move this over a little bit what is your

biggest fear I know you're a father and

I've seen your daughter's they're

adorable and you might say something

about them I'm gonna cheat here and

you're not allowed to mention your wife

or your two daughters so what is your

biggest fear I think I'm always been

scared of heights

okay I'll get really nervous if I'm

going to a certain height oh I said my

wife and I we get too happy about it I

said I'm really scared of heights I'm

gonna gon do a parachute drop next year

and I go if I do that and that's one of

the biggest gay things I'm scared of

then I won't get on be scared on my

chest so let's not run persuader

but going a bit deeper you know that

that's one thing I think a lot of people

are scared of heights and what's other

things yeah but going a bit deeper pink

for me I don't want to wake up you know

one day when I'm you know 60 70 years

old and say I wish I did

I wish I did this or wish I did that we

should do this oh that's that'd be the

worst thing for me

I thought our druthers I'd rather wake

up at that point I you know I did this

but he didn't work or it did work but

you know at least Detroit yeah I'd

rather be in that position and you know

I want to be I want to be an integration

tomorrow you know I said don't mention

your wife and children is much worse you

know I wanna inspire them is what much

as anybody else and I won't be much of

an inspiration if I'm sitting there 60

70 years old saying I wish I did this

always I did the poor didn't envelope Oh

fantastic great points okay so there

you've heard it that is the buzzer this

is the fun part of the show so if you're

still with us thank you

what I've got is a whole heap of

questions that I'm gonna run through for

the next 60 seconds and it's up to Jin

to try and answer as many as possible so

Jen are you ready ready three two one

okay the ability to fly or be invisible

invisible when are your fame fame

Netflix are YouTube they play coiling or

texting take it in Coke or Pepsi Pepsi

would you rather know how you would die

or when you were dying how Christmas or

birthdays their plays your coffee take

summer or winter summer your favorite

place in the whole wide world Hong Kong

speak all languages or be able to speak

to animals whole languages if you could

abolish one thing in the world what

would it be

poverty Facebook and LinkedIn Facebook

would you be able to read minds or

predict the future predict the future

have you ever been in a fight

oh we are actually coming towards the

end of the show now there's so much more

that I could speak to gin about and

hopefully I can get him back on the

podcast just to kind of maybe delve a

little bit more into the whole the

adversity side because if you could take

anything away from this podcast is that

whatever your current situation is

whether it's worse or whether it's the

same or slightly better than Jin's

current circumstances is that there is

light at the end of the tunnel and I

think gin shows that 1/3 is

accountability in moving forward in his

actions but two he's now becoming a very

successful property investor he's now

attracting a lot of investors so we're

definitely gonna move it over to the

final question so the final question I

have today is if there was a book and I

know actually you're gonna be creating

your book next year but let's just say

there was a book written by somebody

let's call it your guardian angel

somebody looking over your shoulders

he's seen everything you've been through

in life and they've written a book about

you unless say in 150 years time science

fails to save us or and people are still

reading books what would the blurb of

the book

tell us about Jeannette well so I hope

it would take him in like this I would

say that Dean was a man that had my

child keeping his life

however never-never net life beat him

down he always got up and dusted himself

off and kept moving forwards

he was an inspiration to us all that you

only have two choices in life really to

get knocked down and stay down or get up

and keep going he chose to keep going I

mean lady did do that because it wasn't

only a great husband father brother and

son

he's also a great human being he knew

how easy purpose was in life and that

was to help young children suffering

from hardship have a better life and he

stuck to that and he made many a man

made that crew for many children

you understood Roy's purpose was he's

bigger than him so he couldn't stop

going Wow I'll tell you what if I see

that glyph I'd certainly pick it up and

I just want to add to that he was also a

great friend as well so truly from the

heart so there you have it guys that's

an unbelievable story one riddled with

ups and downs which is still being

written and I think that's the most

exciting thing because Jin is still

writing his story and I hope many of you

find that inspiring enlightening and I'm

sure Jin wouldn't mind I'll put you on

the spot here a little bit if you

reached out to him if you ever want to

speak to him so what I'm gonna do is if

you could just Nuttall just for the

viewers if they want to reach out to you

where is the one best place to find you

and just personal message me on Facebook

I don't like them definitely always

epital if I can inspire somebody and

help them in any way I can on their

great way fantastic there you go guys

Jin well find him over on Facebook thank

you Jin for your time and as always

people thanks for listening thank you

and remember this podcast is absolutely

free so all we ask in return is for you

to share this with a friend and drop us

a five star review over on iTunes have

an awesome day

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Find your voice - Episode 1 - Blind, Drunk a Lions tale by Kev Dillon

Kev Dillon is a man of the people, who refuses to be average. Suffering with meningitis Kev suffered with blindness and his whole world was rocked upside down. His dream of being a boxer was shattered and he turned to a dark place in his life.

Determined to never let this get to him however, Kev fought back, in true boxing style and jabbed and hooked his way to where he is today.

He is a head boxing coach of Lions Boxing Club ABC in Brierly Hill, UK but more importantly than that he is all round genuinely lovable guy.

Alongside this he is a father, a husband, a son and a friend and who would have thought a POET!

Kev blindness has taught him more than many of us can imagine, forced to understand his limitations he refused to let them control him or stop him achieving his true desire, to help others.

His mindset is unbreakable having been at rock bottom and the most beautiful thing about this story is, his journey is just beginning.

He has a vision of a better future where people, no longer doubt themselves, hurt each other and see the beauty in the world.

Kev's outro states:

"Take care of yourselves and more importantly of each other. May your god bless you and if you don't believe in god, believe in yourself because someone who doesn't believe in anything, will always be lost" - Kev Dillon

Thanks for listening

Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Memb...

Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice & check out our new sponsor: https://www.healthxcel.co.uk

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-...

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Links to guest:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kevlionsdillon/

Boxing Club: Lions Boxing Club - Bull Street, Brierly Hill, DY3 3RA

#JustDeuIt & #FindYourVoice

YouTube Transcripts:

[Music]

welcome to an episode of find your voice

a movement led by yours truly

Aren do a guy who has overcome

crippling anxiety adversity and

difficulty like so many of you in life

whose main goal now is to help you

combat your excuses take control of your

life write your own story and most

importantly find your voice so now

without further ado I welcome the host

of the show himself mr. Aren do what's

going on people thank you for tuning in

to the show today my name is Aren and

yes that is correct I am the host of the

show so this is actually my first

episode of find your voice and if I'm

completely honest I was a little bit

nervous yes I figured I could google and

work out how to do but it was more about

really doing when I put my voice out

there do I want to make myself

accountable and really stick to this but

deep down inside me it's always been a

passion to sort of help people now this

is a strictly passion project and it's

literally about just helping people

because one thing I've realized in my

life is that everyone has a story to

tell and only when we find that courage

and find our voice in order to tell that

story are we able to have an impact on a

wider level and I suppose since I've

been sharing my story recently with

other people and I'm very very grateful

for some really nice comments from

people I thought what in a second

there's a lot more to tell but more

importantly there's some absolutely

amazing people out there who I reckon I

can get in touch with and then hopefully

it can help you guys as listeners so

I've got a whole range of guests on this

podcast which I'm really excited to

share with you bear with me because I

have recorded some prior to this episode

and with each podcast episode as you

know with anything in life you always

get a little bit better so if there are

one or two episodes and you're thinking

hold on a second he sounds a little bit

nervous here it's probably because I am

because my first one or two probably

weren't as natural as are supposed they

are now so it's all a learning curve I'm

enjoying it I mean so absolutely

fantastic people some who already knew

some who are brand new and happened to

reach out or happen to reach out to them

so anyway

that's pretty much enough of me for now

I'm gonna introduce my first guest now

I'm not joking he was probably the first

person I've thought of having on this

one of the reasons was this individual

had a big impact on my life during

probably the two happiest years of my

life if we don't count my marriage

because that is obviously the best part

of my life

I know a lot and I just had a great time

being around this individual I spent a

lot of time with him

and it wasn't just so much the whole

coaching aspect from a physical

perspective but it was more about the

mentor lessons that I was getting the

mindset lessons I think that sounds a

little bit better and you know I grew a

lot as a person and we just became

really really really good friends and I

think it's been like what seven eight

years now and you know we're always in

touch he's a fantastic person he's not

just got a great heart he comes from a

great family he's family a fantastic I

know his family but he's someone who's

had ease levels of adversity in life and

he's not been doubt the best cards and I

think some of us sit there and we always

think the grass is greener on the other

side or we have it the worst but let me

assure you that's not always the case

and Kev someone who may not have had the

greatest card out to him in life but I

assure you he's certainly playing to the

best of his ability so he's not only a

wonderful father and a loving husband

he's also a son and more importantly

he's one of my very very best friends in

the whole wide world and I'm very proud

to have him on this especially as my

first and I'd love to get him back on

because I know he was dealing with a flu

but bless him he managed to still come

so without further ado let's get this

first episode I find your voice on the

way okay so I'm sitting here opposite a

very good friend of mine kept Dylan who

I've explained a little bit about in the

introduction so I think it's important

now firstly I just want to say thank you

keV

well coming on the show it's a pleasure

so I appreciate you being here but I

think it's more important that the

listeners get to understand you so one

of the things I always like to start the

show with is tell us about yourself from

the moment you can remember to where you

are now in life I'm 35 years old

I'm married to a beautiful woman called

Kate

Dylan my father to a beautiful girl

called Jasmine on the head coach for the

boxing club in the Black Country called

the Lions my life hasn't always been

easy

while tragically lost my audience in 87

through viral meningitis back then 32

years ago flora meningitis was a big

thing where poor buggers were going in

losing limbs and I lost my eyesight my

mom had been taking me in to the doctors

for weeks and I said if glandular fever

of the flu till one day I went to a coma

and I well I was completely blind and it

comes a little bit come back in my right

eye and it was tough as you can imagine

but life is tough and life gives you

options you either carry on or you don't

and I think they are the two options of

life

you carry on or you don't but a greater

God I had very strong parents looking

brother and grandparents and they helped

me to do what I could and that has been

my attitude for life you do what you can

have the best ability did you can do I

went to a promise called Church of

ascension which is in war life and had

to leave there because I had bad eyes in

reception when I went to Bromley Hills

where me and another young lad John

Frank coming the first blind kids to go

there

so I have to travel out the district to

go there we're at some fond memories fun

members who I met locked on friends I

had empowering Shona Quinton helix

education I'd say let me Darren because

I had to have a support teacher it

wasn't fun being a young lad as well as

being pointed out you were different and

I think that's what education can do bad

for people instead of embracing our

differences sometimes would forced stand

out I was a young kid that's the worst

thing you can do all you want to do

is to be normal oh do you get you think

what is normal and we go out of our way

to not be normal to be special

but as a child and all you want to do is

fit in it's excruciating

however I've got through school by hook

and by crook aside roams poetry because

when I was a young lad I found it very

hard to express what I was feeling about

blindness and about being different or

made two books except me by giving Dylan

Pope in a vision I went to college do

media studies and then I was lost

through depression and different forms

of coping that psycho pin self

medication of coping I've lost and went

off the rails my dad said to me at the

age of 17 when I bet you come and coach

and because boxing was one of the only

things I was ever good at see nose

blowing got iron at reactions and I'm

strong and he got me coaching I passed

my level one at 18 level two at 19 and

that's been my push through life

teaching others to do something that I

wasn't able to do wasn't allowed to do

another camp coach and I think that's

been one of my purposes in life to help

people so I can talk to these young boys

and girls men and women have been

experiences I can talk to them about

real pain because I've felt pain but

life isn't always a bad pain anyone who

says life isn't tough has it lived

enough but anyone who says life isn't

beautiful and rewarding also as I lived

in office yes yes it is tough but by

gaudí it's wonderful as beautiful if

rewarding but here we look at it

ourselves

and seeing these young people of watch

to grow up into men it's been great

my greatest rewards haven't been the ABA

champions and the people who've gone to

boxer England is being there for the

Forgotten well they've been forgotten

but maybe I ever been to them it's said

of pheromone the scrap people build them

into something good hopefully they feel

very proud of because I know I'm very

proud of them absolutely there's a

couple of things that I mean um I've

known Ken for a long time and we spoke

recently about how long about you know

Nita days it's quite it's quite

surprising but there's some stuff there

that I mean I didn't even know and I

suppose some of it is probably like the

elephant in the room so just touching on

you men in joints and stuff you know

we're very good friends I've never

really discussed that with yourself

maybe that's just me not being confident

but did you find

I mean you touched on it a little bit

there but the whole you know being

normal but what is normal I suppose in

society and all this because obviously

I've got foster siblings and they've got

ADHD autism all that sort of stuff so

they're considered special I suppose but

growing up with your condition did you

ever feel sorry for yourself or did you

feel different especially committing to

the cult in aspect where I mean I've

been in quite a few boxing gym before I

really found home here at the lines and

gym where obviously everyone's

able-bodied should we call it in

inverted commas as a coach with so I

only threw one I had to how did that

make it you feeling sorry for yourself

we all do it they'd have a big football

team or it's okay to feel sorry for

yourself but you shouldn't dwell on it

and that's something I had to learn I

say to a lot of people in life you have

two options

you carry on forwards or you don't

and my only option was going forwards

but occupy falling down but crawling

there by climbing up but in any means

necessary to

forward a lot of his difficult but it's

difficult to everybody in anybody

it's like someone said to me fear

there's a rational fear and it's an

irrational fear

I'm Aladdin little King swim fin on

Friday hippopotamuses there's a very

rare chance that he'll optimus he's

gonna come and get me

as a young African living on a riverbank

that's a rational fear an irrational

fear Allah spiders

in King's room for the Money spider

isn't gonna get me a lad in Australia it

might a rational fear my fears on

fighting or embarrassment yes no I'll

take her back embarrassment is a big

fear my fears aren't through fighting or

standing up or telling my story so I've

overcome knows my fears are because I'm

blind in my left eye I haven't got depth

perception so like going down stairs or

when I go out at night I'm not sure what

to shadow or is the lamppost or it's a

step or said that is a rational fear so

I'm not sure what can hurt me however it

won't deter me from doing so fantastic

I'd be just to touch on that last bit I

mean you said there's two choices you

either move or you don't and I think I

always try and say this to people

because I don't want people to have

something bad happen in their lives for

them to really wake up and so move

forward in their lives or take a whole

little bit I suppose and start writing

their own story you've kind of maybe

drew force initially had to do that

because you were left with the cards

that you were dealt and you have to

solve move forward with that

I say kudos to you because your mindset

is something that I I've read more books

than I care to remember and I'm always

trying to work on mindset because I

believe if you can conquer your mind you

can pretty much conquer anything and we

see that in the boxing gym through the

great boxes and everyone I'm sure you

can probably elaborate on that and I

think mindset is crucial one of the

reasons I really wanted you on my

podcast and you were always going to be

my first episode is because your mindset

is to me at least

it's you know it's made of steel is it's

very it's somebody who could sit there

and feel sorry for themselves there's

somebody you could always look at the

negative side but man you've been a

better fresher and I've said this before

but the two years I spent with you

personally when we were training but I

think I've seen you more than one missus

at the time we're two of the best years

of my life and in that particular time I

just want to put this out there to the

listeners is when you really focus on

achieving goals and I really really want

to be become a great boxer and be be a

great boxer there's a lot of talk behind

and it's sometimes it's from your

friends your family the closest people

to you and sometimes it's not always

uplifting talk and I think being around

you in your presence not just for your

coaching skills which are fantastic

which helped me develop so much but as a

person as I sort of as a coach and a

mentor you were always able to instill

that positive influence in me you'd

always say the right words at the right

time the encouragement and I just I

don't know I'm not sure if there's an

answer to this but what how do you do

that I suppose because I'm here and I'm

trying to do that and I'm obviously

educating myself and I'm reading over

the books and I'm following all the

great lines but you kind of just I mean

I'm not sure deep do you read books like

how I read and woody is it something

instilled from maybe your dad or just

being around for people because we are

so bad I am terrible at reading terribly

reading and after I'm a very large fonts

or tried audiobooks all I'm a man who

loves music from 2pac to try to China to

Bob Dylan I can listen to any type of

music all day but an audiobook I switch

off from so my greatest form of

knowledge is by self experience

experiencing myself that way I realized

if I like it down like it if frightens

me or excited to me I also love talking

to people picking their brains about

religion and a better experience and

about what they did and travel is

another beautiful gift don't only live

in your district and travel and it

hasn't gonna be to Thailand he could be

to go to Wales or going to

where every day's potat yourself out of

a comfort zone so if you're only ever

going on autopilot you're only going to

at one place

you've got to be willing to get lost

even if it's only in the moment could

you never know where it's gonna take you

and that's the greatest form of

Education I think life can give you and

that's probably one of the greatest

forms of Education Isaac's just heard

now in the last year because everything

you just said then I'm sure my listeners

because I know a lot of people who are

eager to listen to this episode we're

all habit readers and we listen to

audiobooks oh it's almost become a hobby

of ours and a lot of that the best

audiobooks they would have the same

information or the same Isis fault our

supposed success leaves clues so there's

always the same kind of stuff in there

everything you just said there and this

is why I find you fascinating is because

you normally this but you haven't read

the books it's just something that

you've developed and this is kind of the

premise of this podcast is to find

people like yourselves people who are

reachable people who you can after this

podcast you can reach out to Kevin you

know it gives you the time of the day

you can come see him at the lines Jim

and I spend time with you these are

people that we should be around and

staff experience of talking to people I

think I think it's overlooked we're in a

society now where everyone's stuck to

their mobile phone I say that as I'm

holding it up right now

and you know that's that's not the way

humanity should be it should be about

experiencing new things as becoming new

people and understanding so that's a

fantastic point mate and I'm always

there's a very few people I come across

in life who had that sort of emotional

intelligence that you've just displayed

there without having gone through what

I'm currently doing I reading all the

books that I can possibly do so kudos

mate and I do want to just move this

over a little bit because I'm just keen

because because of the person you are

and the impact you've had on my life I

don't know you've had many other

people's lives I just want to touch on

your daily routine so I'm a very big

believer that we are the resource of the

thoughts that we think and our daily

habits so if you could just give the

listeners a little bit about the moment

capital is along

from the morning to the moment you

restaurant no mate my alarm is a little

thing called Jasmine Dillon she's

normally White's milk okay then I we get

up we could add stairs we have breakfast

we watch some people I'm telling

normally peppa pig is not I hate blue

coherently i watch penny about myself

and then we go up we have out wash they

would come down then I'll take it to

school they're not normally come up here

to the Lions if but if I have got time

and I'm not in the class then I'll go

and pick her up if not many doors would

not stay Opia working with people

talking to people because I'm up here

every night and then I'm a boxing choice

it's very rare that I get to put my

little girl to bed off from the weekend

so in the day time for me I've

daddy-daughter time and that's that

sacred to me but when I'm up here you

come in and you become a different

person and don't think of me it's been

this almighty confident person because

confidence is of the code do you just

come and put on it's a lifetime of

working at it it's about people only see

the finished results that don't see the

progress they don't see Arnold

Schwarzenegger Jesus Christ he's a big

fella he wasn't born that way it's every

little dumbbell every little exercise

ever

that's from him to our league to Robert

De Niro to Katie Price don't see the

finish resolved and that's on the

positive scowl exactly that's also have

seen that that drunk will not draw me on

the street you see the finished result

instead of thinking what happened on his

journey or her tunic to make them here

sorry I went off to that's why that's

why I think this great lesson is what

you just said there I'll just I'll just

whining at Danny time less doesn't mean

so the next question I'm thinking you've

kind of explained a little bit and we

can obviously jump back into it but I

want you to think back in your time just

one particularly event care

if you could and I just want to say for

the listeners Kemp has no idea what

we're gonna ask him so he hasn't asked

for the questions he's explained he

doesn't lie reading so this is

completely straight from his heart but

you've been through a lot of adversity

in your life as many of - deserve I want

to think of a time where you've just

faced something they really shit day or

really shit time or something Bad's

happened and I want you to if you could

try and explain to the listeners how you

overcome it what kind of practices you

take of one lessons you've taken from

that you've touched on it previously

like you've always got the the mind set

up we either go forward or back but are

there any sort of key things that you

either tell yourself or you do action

like work out or we'll be around certain

people that you do to really try and get

you out of that situation of adversity

never ever be frightened of asking for

the help but when I go to a pub or

somewhere and I don't know where the

toilets are and for me it's embarrassing

there's a lot of people in then I don't

know don't go it's over there okay

which way to over there so but you will

you'll find your way I remember when I

used to go nightclubbing 18 17 18 19 and

I remember going somewhere and I lost my

friends and it was pitch black the

strobes are going music so I've lost all

my senses are con here or I could see

shadows bumpy and who didn't get angry

talkin front of toilets I remember

walking over to a wall and following the

wall to try and get out and the bouncers

there give me a sword and a whale you

can add the club but starting a fight so

I've got from' name because that was the

only way that I could see I've get him

out of that situation but the way I've

dealt with things I see one of my good

friends Nick Davis who's a

hypnotherapist and through NLP he's

helped me to get through stuff in

hypnosis

I did a chemistry course myself years

ago and I didn't like came to me in

bottom four metres a minute wrong

wasn't for me but NLP and hypnosis

suited me changing patterns in the brain

and figuring out what is the trigger for

sadness what is the trigger for being

angry or searching for and that helped

me but I always say to the lads of the

club your place will twenty pound or

thirty pound for a dietitian or you'll

pay someone for shredder condition early

but we won't go and pay someone to

figure out why we're feeling sad and I

think if we haven't got a a good mind

then nothing else will fall into place

it's something that I probably already

learned last year my mindset and I

kicked myself because in hindsight I

mean you haven't gotta really be here

but when I was boxing with you I thought

I had some good physical capabilities

for example you know it was okay quite

strong and I was able to lean down quite

well not to blow my own trumpet but the

thing that really let me down was my

mindset you know on the pads and when we

were training got Phyllis Phares anyone

I was doing everything was easy right

but you stick me in that ring man and it

was like it was like I was holding 20 kg

dumbbells and I was or sometimes I was

getting out of box by people who I was

thinking and that's not no disrespect to

these individuals he was just what - it

wasn't right and it it's only now and I

sometimes think I wish I could just turn

back time a little bit because the way I

feel now I'm just having that sense of

confidence about myself I'd reckon I'd

be able to transform why didn't with you

and all the lessons you told me which

I'm very grateful for in the ring and i

have had much better success basically I

suppose you work with that on your boxes

as well in terms of the mind says well

well mind is so important and it's the

people we have around us

you can have someone up here five days a

week and that they're brilliant dream

boxes but then their dad or their uncle

or someone puts their nerves on to that

person not a creative person

and it creates an anchor an auditory

anchor answer that's a funny old booger

and sometimes you can feel so good in

yourself and that's not just food box

that's on the pool it's I like her well

she's too good-looking for you oh you're

right yeah oh I'm gonna get this job I

think I'm like a Gregory Clare well you

can't lift that much no you this is a

very hard thing not too late to get into

your world all the people's doubts if

you can try your best to stay strong

with yourself you'll have more success

than any other booger absolutely that's

all powerful nothing I've only started

realizing that myself now my last six

months have changed so much just from

believing in myself and not to make this

about me but even this podcast which is

it's me coming up become physical you

know me you know we're very good friends

but on outside of the way I started the

gym sorry I'm an anxious wreck what I

used to be and you just touched on a few

things in terms of like anchors or

people saying and saying things and I

and I suppose it creates this thing

called limiting beliefs so I remember

somebody once said to me I may

understand your accent and I suppose

that's probably why it's taken me 12

months to release a podcast because I

was so scared of putting my voice out

there and thinking who really wants to

listen to this sir

bromine black country accent but then I

thought there's people out there that

actually do and then over time those

people resonate with my message always

becoming more confident in myself and I

really know somebody's one opinion

basically outweigh their opinion of so

many other people but it's a funny thing

isn't it because I suppose it depends

where that opinion comes from so if it

is say for instance your father or your

uncle or somebody you hold your high

esteem it can take a toll on you so

definitely I think it's a it's a it's a

very good point in terms of be conscious

of the people you're around and if you

do happen to have that point of

around you I'll show ya you made yeah

left okay because even if it is she died

with you if someone is standing in the

way of your goal or their person you

want around you if it's someone who's

gonna say you're gonna hurt yourself and

let they're pointing out as I said if

there's someone who's pointed out the

fear to you the danger then maybe we've

got the best interest this up to you to

figure out if the painting of is worth

it but someone who to put in obstacles

in there well how about if you felt have

it there is nothing at all wrong with

our yeah it's just find out another way

that you shouldn't do it salute

absolutely and I think that's what we've

become wrong because we're like an X

Factor mr. Graham generation and it's I

want to be a singer yeah

that doesn't mean you've got to go

double triple platinum don't why what

you want to do but sit by the success of

it if it makes you happy don't send in

your local Boozer and you're working on

school just because you may never make a

living of eating who cares if it if you

are happy to do it absolutely does that

is the reward of your action I'm just

finding happiness in but the silliest

things really finding gratitude and

fulfillment I'm not having to go through

shit in life not needing to lose

somebody in my family or you know

something bad happening it's you know

their worlds are beautiful places

beautiful people out there and it's

about just finding your passion so my

passion is to always happen is why

people so yeah I'm going to be the best

podcaster in the world but hopefully

this message will have all with a couple

of people and they can change their

lives you can then go on and inspire and

change other people's life so fantastic

point mate I'm going to move it over and

I'm gonna asking you another another

question game think about it what is

your biggest fear

and you're not allowed to say I'm

cheating here you know I'd like to say

anything we listen to Justin okay

my biggest fear at 35 is different to

how I felt fear of 30 were 25 or when I

was at school if you fast without when I

was at school it had been asking a girl

even have been read in acting class it

had been all these things but it should

grow now at 35 and it's as I say my

simple fears there's a big things to me

but nothing to you mmm-hmm I said going

to the toilet went on in in a in a pub

mm-hmm an unfamiliar pub or going out at

night when I've got a walk down the road

another so sad there not to shadow will

to step I remember working with her Nick

Davis journalist subjects only slowly

again and we did a seminar up here we

have to stone

boxers to super 88 boxes and we all sat

in a circle and he said to if we went

what five things have will frighten off

and people went dying in my loved one

dying getting hurt public speaking and

all these things and then Nick said to

me said embarrassment I missing what you

mainly because you're all boxes doing it

would rather go into that ring and have

the snot knocked out of them for two

rounds than to have to do a bit of

public speak you know go and ask that

girl out too and everyone went in from

put the razor pointy you'd rather put

yourself in physical danger than to do

something that you might feel like a

plonker live woman yeah and he said if I

could take you off now to Brazil and you

could fight a lot of super every way to

me not your bed would you care when

Noakes it's not the physical thing it's

good then why cuz cuz I don't know that

don't care

my mom to see me so it's the fear of

making something a little punk were

letting people down and that that fear

is the funniest book Raval isn't it

where there's no feel physical bad can

come from it but the emotional it's

almost like a fear of rape you know it's

I think you've just hit the nail on the

head and I'm and I'm nodding here

because you mention the physical danger

thing and I remember I was sitting in a

mastermind and I was letting the emotion

that you just touched on there almost

consumed me as if I was in like the

whole world of trouble yeah if you ask

me the same question would I rather

stand in a ring it be oh boy you're a be

a champion mate I'll do that any day at

least I would have a few months ago and

it's amazing that there's there's people

out there I used to be one of these

people who would put myself through

physical pain just in rod then instead

of looking like a plonker shariq say as

a cowboy reference just for a few

seconds and like you said I can't hate

you unless you let it hear you unless

you let those emotions consume you and I

suppose it's it's about understanding

when something happens it's not what

actually what happens it's the meaning

we touch a touch to it so if if for

instance you get rejected by a girl if

you touch and meaning to that such as

I'm ugly I'm not worth it I'm not good

enough then obviously you're gonna feel

absolutely crap and you're gonna have

some negative impacts but if you just

say okay fair enough

I had a 50/50 chance there let's go

again hopefully the next one's better

and I think that's something I'm

consciously trying to do much better but

I know I speak with a lot of people it's

it becomes crippling because then you're

you're just hiding hiding in the shadows

and watching the world go by not doing

the things that you need to be doing and

I really want people to hear what you

just said then you know stop it and play

it back because that's really important

messages there and also just if you're

following my journey however small is

see that I'm coming out of my comfort

zone as well and I'm trying to do this

yes I'm doing it one for myself because

it makes me happy but two I'm doing it

to let you guys

that if you're shy if you're anxious and

you all those that you've had in your

head I guarantee 100% I've had it myself

but I'm here you know I'm sitting here

put myself out there but myself are

there on social media every day because

you know we've got one life and

tomorrow's I promise

silly as that science-based trip one

think I learned we we all think we're

individuals will think we are the only

person who's ever felt this and yeah

it's a load of nonsense gang we all want

to be low fuel get fried

gonna have a laugh and anyone who says

different is trying to sell you

something you're not alone with all this

more you can talk to people about it

easier becomes a promise yeah I

understand agree mate and you're not

alone we are gonna come to a fun part of

the show now guys but just before that

just wanna quickly yeah so I know your

mindset I know you know how motivated

you are and especially towards the

community here you know you're training

kids and all those women guys you know

people of all ages religious backgrounds

coaches everything on a day where let's

just say for instance you wake up in

your in a bit of a funk so anyone who

tells you they're super motivated I

wonder percent of the time I think

they're lying I've yet to find anyone

doing that so on that day of the week

say for instance when everything's fine

you know the day before nothing's gone

wrong you haven't a damn accident or

anything but you just build up a bit

shit bit sloppy in that day what keeps

you going on that day as I said there's

two options you do what you don't the

fear of not doing it projector catapults

me into doing it fantastic okay so then

you've heard it that's the buzzer going

off and now we're at the fun part of

this show so what I'm gonna do now is

put Kevin through his paces I'm gonna

ask him questions for 60 seconds and

it's up to keV to see how many he can

answer so keV you ready yes okay buddy

let's get the timer ready I'm gonna go

in three two one

okay the ability to fly or be invisible

invisible money or fame fame Netflix our

YouTube YouTube Corner Brook Brook Coke

or Pepsi would you rather not how you

would die or when you were dying

wait Ali or Tyson are like fury or AJ AJ

summer or winter your favorite place in

the whole wide world

on the catch would be to girls speak

four languages must be able to speak to

animals or languages if you could

abolish one thing in the world what

would it be

that's a cruelty skipping or running -

burp running the best boxer ever are lay

or legs lose your favorite song ever

fastclaw Tracy Chapman and final

question would you rather read minds or

predict the future read mind fantastic

okay so that was a quick fire right just

a little bit of light fun there so you

really think AJ can be fury yeah really

yeah I'm on the fence there I'm I'm more

of a fury fan but yeah let's not make

this a boxing podcast we can do that

some other day okay so sadly we are

coming towards the end of the show now

so we've only got two more things that I

really wanted to try and get from you in

this interview the next one's gonna be

on reflection so high so it's a

wonderful thing and upon reflection we

can always think of ways where we can

get to where we are quicker or do things

easier or perhaps with less money or

stress but I guess the journey teachers

are so light as well I'm a firm believer

that everything happens for a reason so

what I want to know is if you could go

back in time to one moment where you

really struggled and suffered with

adversity kind of like us I suppose when

you when you're 17 and your dad got you

to come to this gym and knowing what you

know now what would you tell your 17

year old self that would help them on

their journey

don't settle being average

normals are variety and I'll be okay in

the morning so just keep trying

absolutely I'll be all right in the

morning fantastic okay so sadly we are

actually at the end of the show now and

I just want to gain taste more but just

a quick thank keV because I'm sure

you'll agree has been a fantastic guest

I promised you it would be good and

hopefully I've delivered on that but the

final question I always like to ask my

guess is if in a hundred fifty years

time we're all dead

and science hasn't managed to keep us

all in life and there's a book and all

the book has is the title which says keV

Dylan and on the back there's a blurb a

summary and that explains a little bit

about what your life was and who kept

Dylan was what would that blow say about

you first of all want the book to say

keV Dylan blind drunk Alliance - -

anything I ever want to be remembered

for his it was a good bloke who helped

people when he could and if I can do

that if I can leave that as my legacy

a good man who helped when he could I

think I left a good one absolutely and

your story's still being written night

but my experience with you is you're an

amazing person I'm proud to have you as

a friend I genuinely mean that you've

always improved my life you've always

been somebody who of how closed closed

in my life I mean equal gone once

without us talking but it's always like

we just seen each other yesterday when

we pick up and I think it's important to

surround yourself with people like your

keV Dylan's in the world because I

believe there's any of us out there and

some of us may need to just find our

voice and kind of come out of our shells

but if you find a kept Dylan certainly

hold on to him now Ken's not too

involved in social media but I know

there's a lion's Instagram page which

I'm following and I know there's a

Facebook page but if there's a one way

that people can contact you keV

because I really want people to kind of

reach out to maybe 100% recommend people

of all shapes and sizes and ages to come

down to this gym it's a family community

it's run by a family it would like I

said it was the best two years of my

life that I can remember being here I'd

certainly recommend it you're you're not

only fitting well enjoy it but you look

good in the process as well no I

certainly get you through your paces but

if there's one place where people could

reach out to you care what would that

one place be Eva as it's only scrap

Kevin Lyons Dillon okay or at the club

which is located Braulio dy5 and free RA

and it's the lines Boxing Club fantastic

the Lyons Boxing Club what I'm gonna

also do is put all of the information to

contact keV in the show notes so you can

all have access to that I'm gonna

obviously share this on my Facebook page

so please do reach out please show the

boxing club some love and I know having

been here it always feels at home when I

come here boxing comes a hard one as

well so if there's anyone that you know

out there who can perhaps help either

with funding or equipment or anything

I'm sure they'll definitely appreciate

it they'll go to good hands you know

you're keeping kids off the street and

doing a good service so thank you to keV

and as always finished from one note

absolutely yeah one of T's take care of

yourselves

and even more important to each other

may your God bless you and if you don't

believe in God then believe in yourself

the son who doesn't believe in anything

will always be lost and remember this

podcast is absolutely free so all we ask

in return is for you to share this with

a friend and drop us a five star review

over on iTunes have an awesome day

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