Find Your Voice

"You don't need to have it all figured out, you just need to realise your strengths, trust your gut & take action" by Betitina Árnafjall #90

Bettina states the following:

"It's my heart's desire to share the many experiences I made in my eight years as a team manager to help all you women out there to avoid mistakes, change your mindset and behavior and take your career to the next level" and through this fascinating discussion you can see exactly why.

Suffering with confidence issues throughout her own life, imposter syndrome and never really having it all figured out she continued to pursue her desire and develop her passion into serving others. Recognising that none of us have it all figured out, and we all have our doubts and moments of uncertainty she still persevered. She also recognised it was her action and commitment to the process that allowed her to achieve the results she is achieving today.

Some areas she specialises in or speaks about are:

• Confidence is key for your career
• Don't confuse loyalty and a false sense of duty
• Your career doesn't need to be a "career"
• The top 5 job search Dos and Don'ts
• Top 5 things to promote your career as a woman
• Are there unsuitable jobs for women?
• The gender gap - a team manager's perspective
• How not to get paid less as a woman
• How to research a realistic salary
• Salary negotiation tips
• How to get a raise

This was a fascinating conversation and fortunately we managed to get it recorded this time around.

Some Key Time stamps:

[02:50] Bettina's own struggles with confidence

[07:30] Doing things even when you aren't sure

[11:50] My own imposter syndrome with podcasting

[23:35] Migraines ruining Bettina's life

[29:50] Fun part of the show

[33:00] Bettinas final message - How to be successful without a master plan

I urge you all to follow her journey & check out our new sponsor: https://www.healthxcel.co.uk

Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21

Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

Amazon 5 Minute journal: https://amzn.to/31IJlGD

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Links to Bettina:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/womenscareerlift/

Website : https://www.womenscareerlift.com/resume-online-course

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"We all lack confidence in certain areas of our life" - Aren Deu #87

5 Ways to Build Confidence Part 2

If you haven't already, you may want to check out https://shows.acast.com/findyourvoice/episodes/how-to-build-confidence

Where i discussed the first 5 things to help build confidence. To quickly recap these included:

1 getting things done, 2 exercising, 3, staying true to your word, 4 ensuring you don’t get overwhelmed and 5 recognising the lack of confidence is not exclusive to you and we all, in certain areas of our lives experience it.

But please do obviously check it out for an in-depth 10-minute explanation.

But for this episode, these are the 5 ways (well 6, with the bonus tip) to help you build your confidence.

6. Preparation. One of the ways I managed to handle my public speaking fear, was to be incredibly prepared. Now there is a well known fact that even the most confidence amongst us, such as French Prince of Bel-Air who we all loved and adored if you were an 80/90s baby, can be seen whispering the lines of every single person in the episode before his own lines. Why? It was his first major gig at acting, he wanted to make sure he didn't make mistakes or mess up his opportunity, so he prepared!! For many of us, a lack of confidence can be due to a lack of competencies or knowledge so the best way to get over this, is too just over prepare! I've done it, I still do it and I promise you it will hugely enhance your confidence

7. Improve your posture. There is a psychological and physiologically benefits to improving one's posture. If you are trying to negotiate something, or get a point across but you have your shoulders slouched, back hunched over like the dude from Notre dam you are likely 1 not going to portray a confident person, but 2 not even feel it. Put those shoulders back, work on your eye contact and pump that chest out. It may feel stupidly awkward by the way, initially but it's empowering once you recognise people start to take more notice of you.

8. Music! Yes, music is one of the best things for our minds and bodies if we choose the right tracks, to empower us. I don’t know about you, but there are some songs that I feel I can genuinely take on the world after it. Either for their lyrics the beat or just the feeling of when I first ever heard that song. I call these power songs. Find your power songs and get them ready before you need to be more confident. Now being fully transparent here, I do this on the way to football matches, or when I spar in boxing because sometimes my anxiety and own self doubts can cripple my performances, but if I can get those tunes playing at the right time, I am usually unstoppable! Okay, that’s an exaggeration, but I usually feel proud of myself as I gave my all without self sabotaging my performance before I even step into the ring or on the field.

9. Visualise. There is something magical about visualisation and maybe ill do a podcast on this separately in more depth. But your imagination has the power to boost your confidence massively. Experts believe that mental visualisation practices such as delivering the perfect speech, hitting that home run, successful getting a new client etc, can prepare your brain for the outcome and give you that sense of achievement. Combined with positive affirmations of how you can achieve this, are worthy of achieving this, you can literally accomplish it in your head, mind and body before you actually go out there and do it. Which you will!

10. Do something difficult. There is something special about learning to become comfortable whilst actually being uncomfortable. We will never improve ourselves or you will never truly find your voice if you remain in your comfort zone. We need to stretch it, push it, step outside it and learn to wonder in a bit of uncertainty, a bit of uncomfortable to really grow as humans. Overtime, if you consistently do this to yourself, you will quickly start to fell unstoppable and recognise that the things you used to think were impossible, or were going to kill you, harm you, or scare you senseless actually didn’t turn out so bad after all!

And just because I think a 3 part episode would be an overkill, I’ve taken 1 more confidence boosting tip to truly help move forward and find your voice:

11. Smile at random people. I tried this exercise a few weeks back, but I started in comfortable places like the local gym, where everyone is so polite anyway. So rather than avoiding eye contact like I so often do, I started to look at people in the eyes and just push those cheek up and flash a smile. And guess what? I didn’t die. I didn’t get called a weirdo. I didn't break out in a sweat. I actually got welcoming greetings and smiles back. The benefit of all of that? I had a great work out and more importantly was in such a great mood for the remainder of the day… Smiling is contagious and as much as those people made my day, id like to think my awkward smile did the same!

Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Memb...

Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice & check out our new sponsor: https://www.healthxcel.co.uk

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-...

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com/subscribe

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Over 75% have developed mental illness by the age of 18" by Bobby Temps #88

A face to face conversation with one of today's, local mental health advocates who is making huge positive changes in the space. Delighted to welcome Bobby Temps, the host of the Podcast entitled: Mental - The Podcast to Destigmatise Mental Health on to Find Your Voice where I got to know the man himself. Always intrigued as to why people do what they do, I wanted to understand why Bobby does the work he does, for mental health and also to understand where these motivators came from.

This was an insightful and thought-provoking interview where we delved into many areas. We discussed the pressures society can place upon us. The pressures our parents can have on our own mental illness. Anxiety, Depression, Loneliness, Burnout and even body dysmorphia. All these can sometimes be very taboo like and we often navigate around them, rather than discussing them But keen to not just be another Mental Health hashtag episode we promised ourselves and each other we would be 100% open and transparent.

Realising that we can all internalise things with a different perspective it is always a goal of mine personally to bring on as many people as possible even within the same bracket of adversity that they often highlight shaped their lives. This will in my hope, help you as listeners gain a different method, or perspective of coping and managing your own life.

The beautiful thing with this interview, and something I learned midway through it was that a petition has now been signed with over 196,000 signatures, as I write this to help

Some Key Time stamps:

[04:45] Destigmatise Mental Health / Mental illness

[08:40] Family pressures - Bobby

[15:50] Family pressures - Aren

[23:40] The statistics around Mental illness

[30:30] Positive affirmations around Body Dysmorphia

[39:15] Mental illness & Trauma you have experienced

[45:00] Fun part of the show

I urge you all to follow his journey:

Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21

Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

Amazon 5 Minute journal: https://amzn.to/31IJlGD

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Links to Bobby:

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/bobbytemps/

Website: https://www.mentalpodcast.co.uk/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/mental_podcast

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mentalpodcast/?hl=en

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/mental-the-podcast-to-destigmatise-mental-health/id1358920477

Some Mental recommendations:

Samaritans

Someone to talk to who really listens with someone always there to pick up the phone. They do not offer advise but a space to speak anonymously about what is on your mind and can signpost other organisations. There number is free and won’t show up on your phone bill. 

​

If you are a student Nightline offers a similar services tailored for you and run by student volunteers - https://nightline.ac.uk

​

Bias warning- Bobby used to volunteer here!

​

Counselling Services

There is no definitive route to finding the right service for you, so try googling for your local area. Remember you can always go in for a session and you don’t have to go back if you feel uncomfortable. The NHS also offers counselling but this is in part dependant on your personal situation and there is usually a waiting list.

​

The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy has a directory for support services on their website bacp.co.uk

Organisations with a wide range of services:

rethink.org - 'We help millions of people affected by mental illness by challenging attitudes and lives with information and practical advice.'

​

mind.org.uk - ‘We're Mind, the mental health charity. We're here to make sure no one has to face a mental health problem alone.’

​

time-to-change.org.uk - ‘We are a growing movement of people changing how we all think and act about mental health problems.’

Services relating to topics we cover

For a far broader list of services visit:

time-to-change.org.uk/what-are-mental-health-problems/mental-health-help-you/other-useful-organisations

Petition :

https://www.change.org/p/make-mental-health-education-mandatory-in-all-schools

Since starting this petition, we have received support from politicians across the political spectrum and it has reached over 195,000 signatures. Plus the Department of Education, Ofsted and the Welsh Assembly are already working to make these changes a reality.

When working to reduce stigma, I am continually concerned how a lack of education around mental health is contributing factor. This is something regularly raised as a mutual concern by guests on my mental health podcast plus several of them are actively working to fill this need by doing talks and workshops in schools. With one in four of us experiencing mental illness every year according to the charity Mind, this seems to be a real and very significant gap in our education system.

KEY STATISTICS:

​

- One in ten children aged between 5 and 16 years has been diagnosed with/shows signs of a mental health problem, and many continue to have these problems into adulthood. (1)

- Over half of all mental ill health starts before the age of 14 years, and 75% of this has developed by the age of 18. (2)

- NHS England estimates that poor mental health costs the NHS and society £105 billion a year in England alone. (3)

The statistics are shocking, yet whilst there is a whole subject in the curriculum around our physical health in the form of PE, our young people are left without any knowledge of even the most common mental illnesses.

​

Not only does this leave them unprepared and vulnerable when it comes to looking out for their own mental health, but also sets the standard that Mental Health is not discussed. This plants a seed of stigma that many carry for their whole lives.

​

Upon further research, there generally seems very little in the way of guidelines currently. For example, if Romeo and Juliet is studied as part of the curriculum when the two title characters kill themselves, this is considered the end of the story or worse romanticised as an ideal form of love. The very serious topic of suicide is frequently not even mentioned as part of schooling, and yet according to the BBC, suicide is the biggest killer of men under the age of 49.

​

It’s time to make a change. Even if a law was passed so every child receives one class about mental health during their time at school, this would be more than the vast majority currently get. We are keen to hear back from those in power on a more extensive plan to better the lives of our nation’s young people.

​

CAMPAIGNING FOR:

​

- Mental Health education becoming mandatory teaching for all schools in the UK without the addition of any exams or homework on this subject.

​

- Every child having the ability to access a qualified counsellor through their school. This is something that many workplaces already offer.

​

- Every school offering Mental Health training for its staff.

​

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"We all lack confidence in certain areas of our life" - Aren Deu #87

Here are 5 Ways to Build Confidence (Part 2 out next week).

So firstly what is confidence?

Confidence is the feeling or believe that one can have faith or rely on someone or something. A simple enough definition right?

But if you are anything like me, throughout my life some things I’ve really wanted to do, or needed to do i’e just not been confident at, and that sucks!

So I’ve dissected this episode into 2 parts, as this topic has 1000s of ways to help you, to build you confidence.

So let’s get started:

1. Get things done. Funnily enough, confidence is not something many of us can just wish into existence. It requires a bit of growth, uncomfortable moments or actually executing on something. Sounds like a tough deal right? Well not really. You see if you truly want to achieve something you don’t have already, or become someone you aren’t already you have to be willing to put the work in, in order to grow. This is where doing things that you can tick of as accomplishments will build your confidence. Even if it just small things, this matters too. Consistently improving or doing things you wouldn’t usually feel confident about, or shy away from over time will build confidence. A great example? Me doing this recording now, 90 episodes in. It feels easier, I worry that bit less, and I am confident in the message and hopefully that shines through. Hopefully.

2. Exercise. Now this list wouldn’t be a list without confidence. You see there is something about exercising that can be transferred across all walks of life. The small incremental increases in strength, speed, power, endurance etc is one thing. But how about, starting something (no-one is naturally a professional at) and spending days, hours on end working on the activity to slowly recognise how much better you become at it, how easier those first sessions would be if you were to mimic those? Plus you also benefit from releasing feel good endorphins, enhance your physical appearance and that in itself enhances one's confidence. Look good, feel good!

3. Stay true to your word. This is something that over the years has massively built my own personal confidence. Not only will people respect people that say what they do and do what they say, but the most important person in your life will also respect that too. Yes YOU! If you can commit to your words via actions, slowly but surely, you will build confidence in yourself. You will see yourself as someone, irrespective of emotions and feelings, will go out there and do exactly what they say they will do. Do this long enough, you will be as confident as they come.

4. Don’t overwhelm yourself. It is easy to want to be confident today, especially if you really suck at it. But it’s a process. Just like finding your voice hey! It takes time, hours, days months or even years. But if you can be patient and remain consistent enough confidence will in itself start to show. I never liked public speaking, and although I have many things I'd prefer to do, I manage it okay now. I never liked taking on the phone, could you believe that? And now, phone calls aren’t too scary. But it takes time, sadly this episode alone won’t just suddenly make you confident

5. Know that you aren’t alone. Everyone is confident at certain things and everyone is not so confident at others. We often look at people within the thing we want to pursue or become confident and think that person is incredible. Almost put them on a pedestal assuming they are confident at life as a whole. This is far from the truth. For example. I am confident in physical activities, way more than I am in speaking activities. Yet I am more confident in boxing than I would be in cricket. I am more confident interviewing guests than being a guest myself. We all have particular things that we shine in and others we don't. So the key is to ensure we don’t beat ourselves up and know that everyone has their own journey and everyone has to build confidence in the things that matter or are required for them.

Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Memb...

Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice & check out our new sponsor: https://www.healthxcel.co.uk

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-...

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com/subscribe

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"You are NOT your Anger" by Alexander Walker #86

Alexander Walker, is a clinical hypnotherapist who works with clients who have or are experiencing depression, bipolar, anxiety and stress. But he fell into this line of work due suffering depression himself, struggling with his own anger and realising he never quite fitted in. Eager to now help others, having dug himself out of his own hole, Alexander helps people on a daily basis. He kindly joined us on the show today, where he shared methods for reducing anxiety and overwhelm; managing anger management and more important recognising that our thoughts are not us. Our emotions are not us. We are not moments of our life, we are much more than that. This insightful perspective of looking at how we often criticise or judge ourselves, can increase our happiness almost instantly.

It is for that reason, I encourage you all to listen to this episode, maybe even watch it on YouTube where it is not edited and has a few extra bits thrown in. It will teach you to manage your emotions and thoughts much better, which in turn will enhance your life, improve your happiness and help you find your voice.

Let me know your thoughts, and be sure to share this on social media and share it with anyone you feel could benefit from the wisdom Alexander shared.

Some Key Time stamps:

[04:30] Understanding my own Depression - Alexander

[09:00] Controlling your thoughts & bringing in a new experience

[14:00] Dealing & Understanding your Anger problems

[17:55] Why some people act in a "bad" way

[25:30] You are responsible for your world - The HO-OPON-OPONO Technique

[31:10] Acknowledge the small wins in your life + Your Journey Matters

I urge you all to follow his journey:

Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21

Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

Amazon 5 Minute journal: https://amzn.to/31IJlGD

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Links to Alexander:

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/Alexander-Walker-Clinical-Hypnotherapist-347417235732572/

Website : https://www.alexanderwalkerch.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Why do we do what we do?" by Aren Deu #85

A bit of a brain dump of an episode here, where I ask you the question "Do you help people because you want to be a hero, or do you want to truly just help people?" The reason behind this however, is that I am intrigued as to why we do what we do.

So ask yourself:

Do you help people because you want to be a hero?

OR

Because you just truly want to actually help?

You often see in life, myself included - I am not perfect - we tend to help people for mixed reasons.

But more so with social media & with narcissism traits becoming more apparent by the hour, I see people offering help or assistance with a hidden agenda/intent.

Not saying this is wrong by the way, after all I am just 1 man's opinion, voicing my thoughts from time to time.

But I am truly, truly fascinated in understanding why do we do what we do?

Why do we need to suddenly try to take advantage of mental health deaths & post of the back of it pretending it has always been our cause? Why do we jump on trending topics in attempt to show our own 'worthiness'?

Why does tragedy force us to open up our social media accounts & show the world we are so great rather than show those around us, in person, around the corner, a drive away their importance first and foremost?

Why do we need to shout from the rooftops of our “Charitable work”?

To encourage others, or to prove to ourselves and others that we are good people?

I am fascinated by this & I don’t know the answers yet.

But I would in my limited knowledge put it down to, ego, a lack of something, a need for external validation, narcissism or not feeling enough irrespective of what you may actually already have..

I expect no-one to state they help people because they want something back. I am sure we all like to see ourselves as the latter of the initial questions. But deep down, we are all capable of figuring out and understanding why we do what we do, if we do not already know!

Nonetheless, I ask you the question, rhetorically of course.

Do you help people because you want them to see you as a hero?

OR

Do you help people because, you can, expecting nothing back and because it is always a good thing to do & you just want to genuinely help?

This is a huge self awareness exercise that will teach us all an amazing lesson. Take time to figure this out, and really understand who you are.

Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Memb...

Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-...

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com/subscribe

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Our biggest enemies, are our biggest teachers" by Andrea #84

From Emotional Eating & Bulimia to Removing Breast Implants & Self Love Mastery Andrea opens up about how we all need to love ourselves.

What an incredible story this was. Andrea's journey of overcoming emotional eating, bulimia and the beliefs and thoughts of others is inspiring to say the least. She has seen her own mind transform, but also her body too. A chapter of her story we discussed which I believe is very significant to this episode, was about her breast implants. Having initially done this, to fit in, to feel love in herself she had these removed 10 years later. Recognising that she needed to love herself first and foremost she is now in a place where she is able to live with happiness and comfort in her own body and mind, but also help many other people too.

A beautiful conversation with some amazing takeaways for you all to learn and grow from. I urge you to check the YouTube version which has more content and fewer edits to get everything from this episode.

Some Key Time stamps:

[03:30] Why do we do what we do?

[08:30] Triggers that affect you or others

[13:40] Don't suppress or avoid feeling your emotions

[19:40] Removing breast implants - Self Love

[29:00] Listening to other peoples opinions and beliefs

I urge you all to follow his journey:

Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21

Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

Amazon 5 Minute journal: https://amzn.to/31IJlGD

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Links to Andrea:

Website: https://ditchthescale.com/applypage

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thingsandreasays

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"You must become self-aware enough to recognise you have the capability to always be in control" by Aren Deu #83

This is me letting my guard down a bit. We need to promote more vulnerability and transparency, especially if we have an audience or people that listen to us. Whether it is your peers, spouse, children, parents, pupils or friends. We have to be honest about where we are in life, and we have to share not only the things that will benefit us, but also the things we are going through on a daily basis.

Since sharing my anxiety, things have changed more than you can ever imagine. I realised I am not alone. But on this episode, I speak about another area of my life I really want to take control of, just like the introduction states in the beginning. We need to at least acknowledge at the very least, we have the capability to take control of our lives. It is then we can work diligently towards that and embrace the opportunities that will enable us to do it, to truly grow. In this growth, we will become capable of controlling our vices and master ourselves. It is then we will finally be able to truly find our voice.

I hope you enjoyed this one!

Thanks for listening.

Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Memb...

Best book on Mindset by Carol Dweck: Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-...

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com/subscribe

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"Success Loves Speed" by Erik Salzenstein #82

Erik Talks about you have the power of change through your actions & your decisions. By building better more meaningful relationships and embracing the fact we are not alone we can achieve whatever success we want, and achieve our goals. Sometimes having an intention is not enough and to turn our life around we need to take the right action and this requires some tips that Erik speaks about in this episode.

But Erik's life was not always as simple as it sounds from this summary. Erik spent the first half of his current life making the odd wrong decision and recognised swiftly how these had such a negative impact on his life. Needing to change his circumstances and not just wanting to change them he made a positive change. He transformed himself from Prison to Prosperity. A truly humble and genuine soul who has become a friend not only of the show but myself. He is one who practices what he preaches and serves people with his authenticity and skill set.

Some Key Time stamps:

[02:30] Making the wrong decisions

[09:30] Prison life

[17:20] The 2 Books that Changed Eriks Life

[30:00] Stretching Your Comfort Zone

I urge you all to follow his journey:

Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21

Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

Amazon 5 Minute journal: https://amzn.to/31IJlGD

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice

Links to me:

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"Perspective is everything" by Aren Deu #81

Now one great thing about human being is we have the capability to take on a different perspective at any given time.

For example, let me try to use my Mind reading tactics and see into your lives right now.

For those of you who are driving to work, thinking my god, another day, I can’t wait for the weekend or to get this dreaded meeting out the way.

How about we choose the perspective off, I have a beautiful car, that I can afford to fuel up, stay warm in and drive to work and attend meetings that people trust me in and earn a wage to enjoy my weekend antics?

Simple right?

But what about those of you listening to this on a weekend or at home just feeling sluggish or not with it? Thats okay BTW, but let's shift gears and your perspective here too.

How much more fortunate are you than the millions of people who don’t have access to mobiles, warm centra healing, a roof over the head or the ability to consume information to help move them forward?

How fortunate are you that at the press of a few buttons you can instantly change your state and mindset and become happier. For some that isn’t as easy, and they have a tougher task. Especially if they aren’t in a safe environment like yourself.

So I think you get where I am going with this right?

Sometimes what we see, experience, and believe is not completely valid or true.

Now you can also do this with people too.

I am sure many of us, myself included, have judged someone through our own thoughts, experiences and views. But have we taken a second to reflect back and think how is that person coping, or why are they acting this way?

Now of course that particular example could just be that person being an absolute douche, but haven’t you done things you aren’t always proud off? Most likely when we see people act or say things that we often find strange, odd, offensive or “wrong” it comes from a place or experience way earlier than when they actually said it.

I've had arguments or shall I call them disagreements that have only started because I’ve been frustrated about something entirely different I never settled.

Crazy hey?

Now this is an episode I want to expand on, maybe in the future because it really does drive everything we do. Our thoughts, actions and emotions are linked so heavily with our very own perspective but for now here are 5 quick ways to change your perspective:

1. Look for something positive in every single situation. Sometimes this is more difficult than we can imagine. Having the majority of my adversities through losing people close to me, one thing I will forever be grateful for is having them in my life at one stage, having their relationships and those memories in my thoughts forever. Or how about losing your job? Something I have had many listeners reach out to me about. Great this shows you a few things. 1 THE ONLY security is your own development and skill set and this should never be sidelined whilst working for someone else. 2 maybe you have a chance to find a better venture or try something you always wanted. Or 3 well losing a job is better than losing something more important, like your health or someone near or dear to you.

2. Always look at the end goal or bigger picture. I always have a mantra I live by and ask myself, when stuff goes wrong, what is this teaching me right now? How much better will I be in 6, 12 18 months time as a result of this experience? This helps trust me.

3. Smile. So I suck at disagreements. I am either non cooperating or I’m like the worst person to ever get into a fight with. But one thing that has always helped is smiling! Honestly, next time your angry or upset or thinking in ways that dont serve you, force yourself to smile or laugh, or find something that makes you do it. Watch your state change and mood boost!

4. Help people. When you help those in need, or those who can't do anything back for you I promise you the perspective changes and your levels of gratitude and appreciation for your own circumstances increase. Help someone cross the road, or maybe buy them a coffee or spend an hour with them if they don't have family or friends around. These little kindness gestures will show you that on a grand scheme of things, there’s more important things to life and alter your perspective for the better

5. Listen back to some older episodes. Now if you have listened to them all, then you know deep down what I am about to say is true. The perspective shift you can get from seeing someone, with the same situation, or maybe even worse than you get up, dust themselves off and preserve towards finding their voice should immensely alter your perspective. The times I feel low, I think of episode 4 Joshua, or the times I curse cancer for its sickness across my family I think of Louise & Bep on episodes 14 & 17 respectively. There is always someone out there with worse cards playing the game better than you. That should inspire and motivate you to want to grow, to want to change and to want to alter your perspective.

So before I continue bashing on at you all in hopes you really at least try a few of these to shift your perspective to better serve not only yourselves but those around you, I am going close the show here.

I am hopeful that these episodes really do provide tangible takeaways and insights for you to truly find your way in life, truly find your voice and to overcome whatever thoughts you currently have in your head that aren’t quite serving you.

So until next time I hope you have an awesome day and once again I thank you all for listening

Thanks for listening.

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