Fitz in the Morning

An award-winning new kit being designed England lets you grow your own steaks from human tissue (eeww!!), a 62-year-old woman is carrying her daughter’s child while is daughter is busy being pregnant with another kid, a fight at the opening for a Colorado In-N-Out Burger results in a man losing his pants, a man is arrested for spitting on hikers that aren’t wearing masks, a lab worker is arrested for forging drug test results that lost families their custody rights and Instant Karma meets a meth dealer who crashes his motorcycle and has his waistband-gun go off into his hip, and…gets hit by a car.

Today we tell you our latest Favorite Things including Fitz loving the Hot Spiced Apple Cider Drink at Starbucks, Drew loving Las Tres Marias Mexican restaurant in Monroe, Aunt Claire loving Ecos lavender scented hand soap and Ryder loving Fat Boy Rootbeer Float Freeze Pops. Claire is freaked out by a giant Krampus decoration in her neighborhood. Ryder’s Food News includes Red Lobster’s Cheddar Biscuits as Stuffing Mix! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a new kit design would let you grow your own steaks from human tissue, a 62-year-old woman is carrying her daughter’s child while is daughter is pregnant with another kid, a fight at the opening for a Colorado In-N-Out results in a man losing his pants, a man is arrested for spitting on hikers that aren’t wearing masks, a lab worker is arrested for forging drug test results that lost families their custody rights, and Instant Karma meets a meth dealer who crashes his motorcycle and has his waistband-gun go off into his hip. In The Good Stuff, a man rescues his puppy from the jaws of an alligator. In Fitz Files, Jon Pardi gets married, Taylor Swift misses the AMA Awards because she is rerecording her first six albums, Robert “Freddy Kruger” Englund will be on “Stranger Things Season 4”, and “Coming 2 America” will air on Amazon Prime. Fitz calls Drew out for his hurtful comments about Red Heads in Thurston County, and Young’n+Shade have a new song about Red Heads. Today’s Troop Salute is Simon Peter Hemingway of the US Army. Lee Brice calls up to talk about missing the CMA’s because of Covid-19 and the advice he gave Charles Kelly for singing his duet with Carly Pearce. Incoming “New Day Northwest” host Amity Addrisi calls in to talk about taking over for Margaret Larson, her favorite stories in the northwest, and her love for the “Flip Flop” song Fitz played last week. Monday Motivation has motivating quotes to get your week started off right.

A Burger King worker steals $30K by creating fake employees and while discussing that we learn Claire is somehow connected, a website is offering $2500 to watch 25 holiday movies in 25 days, a new study indicates the smaller a man’s junk is the more money he makes, there is special new Christmas music just for dogs (so have your dog here when you listen), a 17-year-old takes his Dad’s $3.4 million car for a joy ride and wrecks it, and a woman ticketed for using her cell phone while driving claims she was really eating an ice cream sandwich and has the wrapper and chocolate stains to prove it.

We’re all happy our Seahawks won last night at the suddenly renamed Lumen Field. Fitz wants to know why we didn’t get more notice on that name change but we all sing some songs about “Lumen”. Friday always means Bull Yah! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a Burger King worker steals $30K by creating fake employees and we learn how Claire is connected, a website is offering $2500 to watch 25 holiday movies in 25 days, a new study indicates the smaller a man’s junk is the more money he makes, there is special new Christmas music just for dogs (so have your dog here when you listen), a 17-year-old takes his Dad’s $3.4 million car for a joy ride and wrecks it, and a woman ticketed for using her cell phone while driving claims she was really eating an ice cream sandwich and has the wrapper and chocolate stains to prove it. On Stream It or Skip It, Drew recommends “The Star Wars Lego Holiday Special”’ on Disney+, “The Princess Switch: Switched Again” on Netflix, and “Animaniacs” and “A Teacher” on Hulu. On the Fitz Files, Florida Georgia Line is not breaking up but they have been to therapy, the “Fresh Prince” reunion included a reconciliation between Will and original Aunt Viv Janet Huber, and Matthew McConaughey is toying with a run for Texas Governor. We need your Insta-Therapy help for a mom who says her son stole a laptop off the neighbor’s porch and she doesn’t know how to return it or punish him without ruining his life. Fitz feels we need a morale boost, so we call General Gridlock. Believe It or Not includes Brittney from Woodinville who fell off a 3-story building and landed without a scratch. The Weekend Party Preview has stuff to do with the family this weekend and a weekend forecast from Nick Allard.

It’s a rare Blue Thursday and we all hope the Seahawks can right the ship tonight. It’s the Great American Smoke Out – can Ryder go all day without a Smoky Treat? In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a guy leads police on a high-speed chase that includes ditching his car and diving under Lake Shasta in a mini submarine, a new study shows men who have a beard in dating profile pics are 3x more likely to get a match, a new dating term called “Hat Fishing” has men trying to hide their baldness under hats on dating apps, a new phone hotline helps people get through bad psychedelic trips, a Connecticut man is arrested for getting freaky with his neighbor’s tree, and America is having another TP crisis so Ryder and Fitz think we all just need to install bidets. Getting to Know You includes our favorite TV Holiday Specials and the foods we absolutely hated as kids. On the Fitz Files “The Bachelorette” tests the guys on math, spelling, breakfast in bed and carrying around simulated babies, and the “Charlie Brown” Thanksgiving and Christmas Specials will show on PBS after Apple TV angered fans by holding back the Halloween Special. On Make Up or Break Up, Faith from Marysville says after three years together her boyfriend Jake’s family still treats her like a stranger at the holidays, keeping her out of gift exchanges and potluck plans. Whatcha Drinkin’ About? Fitz wants to know what’s stressing us out to the point of drinking. We play Never Have I Ever and learn Ryder has never been to Pike Place Market, Claire has never been fired and Fitz has never cooked a meal from scratch in his whole life. Throwin’ Shade has Shade going after social media apps all having the same features, so why bother having all of them?

A guy leads police on a high-speed chase that includes ditching his car and diving under Lake Shasta in a mini submarine, a new study shows men who have a beard in dating profile pics are 3x more likely to get a match, a new dating term called “Hat Fishing” has men trying to hide their baldness under hats on dating apps, a new phone hotline helps people get through bad psychedelic trips, a Connecticut man is arrested for getting freaky with his neighbor’s tree, and America is having another TP crisis so Ryder and Fitz think we all just need to install bidets.

A teenager in China wanted an iPhone so badly he sold a kidney to get it, a British man is arrested for driving in circles yelling “Wakey Wakey!”, a university Zoom class is interrupted by the professor’s butt-sniffing cats, a UFO is spotted flying over the UAE, Jimmy Dean is offering glass sausage Christmas Ornaments, and two college kids are arrested for stealing the Exits signs from a bunch of dorms.

Drew is worried everyone he owes money to wants it all at once, Claire and Fitz discuss keeping their Mullets into 2021, and Ryder was kept up all night by his friends phone-calling him on Facebook Messenger which he didn’t even know you could do. Ryder says he will not get the Covid vaccine because he’s worried the government is going to chip and track him. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a teen in China wanted an iPhone so bad he sold a kidney for it, a British man is arrested for driving in circles yelling “Wakey Wakey!”, a University Zoom class is interrupted by the professor’s butt-sniffing cats, a UFO is spotted flying over the UAE, Jimmy Dean is offering glass sausage Christmas Ornaments, and two college kids are arrested for stealing the Exits signs from a bunch of dorms. In the Fitz Files, The Moderna Covid Vaccine was partially funded by Dolly Parton and Russell Wilson and Ciara now have their own signature fragrance. All Jacked Up includes Miranda from Redmond who eats food well past its expiration date as long as it doesn’t smell bad, and Kristin who says licking her kids’ plates clean after dinner is sometimes the best meal she gets all day. What Friends and Relatives Have You Unfriended Recently and Why? Dylan from Marysville had to unfriend his own Mom over politics, Christian in Snohomish unfriended his older brother because he had blackmail pictures of him as a kid wearing pantyhose, and Ashley from Seattle blocked her whole family for complaining about her bikini pics; Ryder hates “vague-bookers” and he will drop them, and Claire was tired of being in the middle of a couple’s ugly public divorce so she unfriended them both. Fitz licks Nurdles and Drew is appalled. Today’s Troop Salute is Clayton Mutzinger USMC. And we want to hear the Voice You Use to When You Talk To Your Pet!

It’s a Windy One today and Drew says the wind is more nerve-wracking when you live in the middle of the woods. Fitz and Claire are both cooking with Netflix: Fitz loves people who can’t cook on “Nailed It” and Claire loves Fat on “Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat”. Drew wants us all to be in his Pandemic Pod. We get an update on Ryder’s Teeth; is he using his pain to get more attention from his girlfriend? In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, women named Karen say their name is ruining their chances on dating sites, police in Italy use a Lamborghini to deliver a heart to a transplant patient, a home invasion ends when a 16-year-old takes out the robber with a Louisville Slugger, an Alaska Airlines plane hits a bear on a runway while landing, a Florida couple is arrested after pulling over on the highway for a quickie, and the original figures of Santa and Rudolph from the 1964 “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” are auctioned for $300K. In the Fitz Files, Taylor Swift’s music masters have been sold again for $300 million to a company called Shamrock Holdings and the British Media wants Prince Harry to quit his association with Netflix because “The Crown” offends the Royal Family. On Make Up or Break Up, Claire from Tacoma is fed up with her boyfriend AJ’s suspicions after she got a butt dial call from her Ex, but AJ says he knows for certain guys sniff around with “oops” calls and wants to know who else is in her phone. Text The Truth has us reading your anonymous confessions, and some of y’all are kinda twisted. Mind Blown has Fitz with amazing details about airport drinking, how time zones affect birthdays, “Toy Story 2”, and just how much bacteria is on the cash in your pocket. And How Would 7-Year-Olds Cook A Turkey? ‘Cuz Fitz’s kids have some great ideas for where turkeys come from and how you should prepare them; or not.

Women named Karen say their name is ruining their chances on dating sites, police in Italy use a Lamborghini to deliver a heart to a transplant patient, a home invasion ends when a 16-year-old takes out the robber with a Louisville Slugger, an Alaska Airlines plane hits a bear on a runway while landing, a Florida couple is arrested after pulling over on the highway for a quickie, and the original figures of Santa and Rudolph from the 1964 “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” are auctioned for $300K.