Fitz in the Morning

A skunk leads to the evacuation of a Walmart, a woman passing out “Get Out the Vote” flyers steals someone’s cat off their porch, more than half of people polled say Election Day will be the most stressful day of their lives, a doctor in India is conned into buying Aladdin’s Lamp from a guy dressed as Genie, 1 in 3 people admit to lying about the number of their previous “laundry” partners to their spouse, and a woman climbs a tree for some day drinking and refuses to come down when a guy in a bucket lift comes for her.

Fitz gave his kids a super fun Halloween although it didn’t go quite as planned when his daughter’s costume inflator fell apart and then she fell apart. Claire set up a nice Halloween display but was the only house on the street that did, so no kids even came down her street. Claire went for a Covid Test and was surprised it was so efficient for a County operation. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a skunk evacuates a Walmart, a woman passing out Voting flyers steals someone’s cat off their porch, more than half of people polled say Election Day will be the most stressful day of their lives, a doctor in India is conned into buying Aladdin’s Lamp from a guy dressed as Genie, 1 in 3 people admit to lying about the number of their previous “laundry” partners to their spouse, and a woman climbs a tree for some day drinking and refuses to come down when a bucket lift comes for her. Ryder and his family are fighting over politics with one of them even unfriending him on social media. Fitz did the “We Ate All Your Halloween Candy” gag on his kids. In the Fitz Files, Lori Loughlin will be spending Christmas in jail, Taylor Swift officially gets to re-record her own music, and the “real” James Bond, Sean Connery, has died. Today on Dating Disasters we hear from Amanda in Kirkland who thought her Bumble date stood her up so she got drunk with the bartender but later found out the date saw her and left. Today’s Troop Salute is Jacob Saldana of the US Navy. Ryder got everyone apple fritters this morning except Fitz, who says Ryder needs to “Recognize!” Food News has Ryder with the latest info on munchies including the triumphant return of the McRib and Stouffer’s new Lasagna Fanny Pack. Monday Motivation has motivating quotes to get your week started off right!

An iPhone repairman exposes a cheating husband who tried to bribe him to hide the cheating from his wife, a man asks his friend to hide drugs in his butt crack during a traffic stop, a woman nearly dies from a thong-induced butt abscess (!), a woman in labor insists on voting first, a guy on meth climbs to the top of his apartment building and throws money, and a man is super proud of his Halloween display that’s so gory the police keep being called to his home.

It’s Halloween Inside and Outside! Brace yourself for a Spooky Bull-Yah! “Who’s Popping Out of the Coffin” has Ryder back at Van Ghoul’s Cemetery digging up dead celebrities. Fitz does an amazing Country version of “Thriller”. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, an iPhone repairman exposes a cheating husband who tried to bribe him to hide the cheating from his wife, a man asks his friend to hide drugs in his butt crack during a traffic stop, a woman nearly dies from a thong-induced butt abscess, a woman in labor insists on voting first, a guy on meth climbs to the top of his apartment building and throws money, and a man is super proud of his Halloween display that’s so gory the police keep being called. On Stream It or Skip It Drew recommends the New Season of “The Mandalorian” on Disney+, “Addams Family” on Netflix, “IT” and “IT 2” on HBO Max, and the “Rocky Horror Picture Show” on Hulu. Ryder’s Scary Movie Ultimate Pick is the original “Halloween.” In the Fitz Files, Kanye West gives Kim a hologram of her dead father wishing her a Happy Birthday, Leanne Rimes poses nude to address Psoriasis, Scarlett Johansen and Colin Jost are married, and the CMA’s will be a live show. The P1’s Have Talent Halloween Edition includes Rebecca from Graham who sounds like a really scary demon and Gavin from SeaTac who talks to us like a wise-but-scary old tree in the forest. Believe it Or Not includes Ryan from Monroe whose girlfriend lost her toe in a terrible toaster accident and Vicki from Bremerton whose husband had an eagle steal a fish right off his line. King County wins the month of October on County Wars! We award Truckers Tuition Round Two to Katherine, an Army wife who will use the CDL to have a job and career wherever the military takes her and her husband. And we wrap up $1 Million Dollars of Jobs with an astounding total of $2,222,360 worth of jobs!

Fitz is afraid to stand up because he forgot to wear a belt. Drew ate yogurt 12 days past its date and Claire and Ryder are on edge being near him. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a woman is under fire from her HOA for her Halloween Pole Dancing Skeletons, a theater is raising money by auctioning off the rights to haunt the theater after you die, a dad breaks the world record for the fastest mile pushing a baby in a stroller, a drive-through farm has a zebra that screams like Marty from “Madagascar”, police tell a man being nude in his own backyard he’s indecent with little kids next door, and a man falls into a sink hole full of so many rats he is afraid to open his mouth to scream. We have more disturbing Halloween Mind Blowing Facts. Fitz is loving life with a Mullet and wants Claire to get one. In the Fitz Files, Brad Pitt breaks up with his girlfriend and may be winning his custody trial, a “Bachelorette” producer says he knew the moment he had to kick Clare off the show, Blake gives Gwen a $500,000 ring, and Kelly Clarkson has a new Christmas Song. On Make Up or Break Up, Marcus from Edmonds is not cool with his girlfriend Kaylie selling her dirty socks online to weirdos but she says it’s how she’s making their car payments. Ryder is back at Van Ghouls Cemetery digging up celebrities for us to guess. Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood Zoom in to talk about their new single “Shallow” and when they think they’ll get back to touring. Throwin’ Shade has Shade going after kids, including his own, who are driving parents crazy stuck at home.

A woman is under fire from her HOA for her Halloween Pole Dancing Skeletons, a theater is raising money by auctioning off the rights to haunt the theater after you die, a dad breaks the world record for the fastest mile while pushing a baby in a stroller, a drive-through farm has a zebra that screams just like Marty the Zebra from “Madagascar”, police tell a man swimming nude in his own backyard that he’s indecent because there are little kids next door, and a man falls into a sink hole full of so many rats he is afraid to open his mouth to scream.

A man protesting a store carrying only “essential items” that deems clothing unessential comes in wearing nothing but a thong, the newest stupid TikTok trend is super-gluing your Halloween vampire teeth in, get ready for Fitz to play the next “Baby Shark” called “The Flip Flap Song”, Play-Doh has new adult-themed scents like “spa day”, and “latte”, scientists are working on a pill cocktail to prevent snoring, and police discover the skull of a missing a man has been some guy’s mantle decoration for many years.

Mama Fitz has written a new song about our Beloved Seahawks! In the What Are You Kidding stories, a man protesting a store carrying only “essential items” comes in wearing nothing but a thong, the new stupid TikTok trend is super-gluing your vampire teeth in, get ready for Fitz to play the next “Baby Shark” called “The Flip Flap Song”, Play-Doh has new adult-themed scents like “spa day”, and “latte”, a pill-cocktail to prevent snoring is in the works, and police discover the skull of a missing a man has been some guy’s mantle decoration for many years. In the Good Stuff we meet Bickford Ford Community Hero Rachel from Port Orchard, an avid quilter who has used her time off work to make 13,000 free masks. In the Fitz Files, Blake and Gwen are engaged, and a bunch of the guys on “The Bachelorette” are ready to walk off the show because Clare is not treating them fairly. All Jacked Up includes Claire refusing to eat sourdough because starter is 100 years old, Ethan in Redmond who has to eat his food in alphabetical order, and Pete from Gig Harbor who can’t sleep unless his pillow is ice cold so when he’s travelling he puts his hotel pillow in the ice machine. “Who is Poppin’ out of the Coffin” has Ryder back out at Van Ghoul’s Cemetery digging up celebrities. Today’s Troop Salute is Joah Cash who is entering the US Navy Academy. Prepare for Scariest Moment in Radio History as we tell creepy stories and YOU provide the scary sound effects! Details have emerged on the Murder Hornet Heroes.

A guy in a ritzy Southern California neighborhood is blasting the “Gilligan’s Island” theme in a war with his neighbor who installed a sculpture that blocked his view, a man covers himself with 140lbs of bees to break a World Record, two robbers are caught in a restaurant after one passes out drunk eating cheese cake, Florida Man steals a backhoe to dig up Biden signs, a guy prank calls his mom saying he’s from jail but she just says “Call Your Daddy”, and a Hayride turns tragic when the wagon overturns.

We Salute the Heroes who captured the Blaine Murder Hornets! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a guy in a ritzy SoCal neighborhood blasts the “Gilligan’s Island” theme as warfare against his neighbor who installed a sculpture that blocked his view, a man covers himself with 140lbs of bees to break a World Record, two robbers are caught in a restaurant after one passes out drunk eating cheese cake, Florida Man steals a backhoe to dig up Biden signs, a guy prank calls his mom saying he’s from jail but she just says “Call Your Daddy” and a Hayride turns tragic when the wagon overturns. A story last week about a Tennessee Football Fan reminded Fitz of an Epic Jimmy Dean Sausage Consumer Line Call in which a man complains about a smaller sausage package by talking about his fat family. Ryder and Shade failed the office Fire Drill on Monday when they were caught out smoking at the wrong meeting place. In the Fitz Files, AJ McLean’s dancing partner slams her head into the floor on “Dancing with the Stars”, Clare Crawley hints she was forced off “The Bachelorette”, DK Metcalf is invited to the Olympic Track and Field Time Trials and Simon Cowell has a $100,000 set of teeth. On Make Up or Break Up, Renee from Renton is excited to go trick or treating with her son but her fiancée Jonathan if afraid they will come home with COVID. Text the Truth has your anonymous confession texts, like a women who is thrilled her cheating ex-husband is now cheating on the woman he left her for, and someone confesses to being a professional dominatrix and says only two people know besides us now. What Does Death Taste Like? Fitz has some amazingly creepy details about things you thought you knew! Drew is (mostly) enjoying the wildlife around his new place in Monroe but some of the identified noises are scaring him.