Fitz in the Morning

Could Fitz be the next “Tiger King”? Drew says it’s every “What the Florida” story all rolled into one wacked out show. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, it’s International Waffle Day and Fitz has an adorable Waffle House song, another idiot is arrested for coughing on people and telling them he has coronavirus, the Spring Break kid who said Coronavirus wasn’t going his partying is apologizing and a woman is showing people how to repurpose old bras into facemasks. Fitz’ kids are still not allowed back in the house due to their iffy COVID behavior around his pregnant wife so he’s considering a listeners’ offer of an RV in his driveway. In the Hourly Bulletin, a WSP Trooper has been is killed and Congress approves a Coronavirus relief package. It’s “Taco Time” and P1 Katrina wins a $25 Taco Time Gift Card. Fitz and Claire update us on their search for Toilet Paper. In the Fitz Files, Prince Charles has Coronavirus, we hear why Steve Carrell left “the Office” and how Tony Soprano almost took over and Matthew McConaughey has more advice for us all. In the Good Stuff, a talented high school student makes a virus-themed musical medley that’s gone, well, viral and an elementary principal arranged a drive-by parade for a 5-year-old student whose birthday was cancelled. All Jacked Up covers dog-blaming, “laundry” with strangers, and wrangling employee discounts. Because of You Coronavirus; tell us how your life has changed. Today’s Troop Salute is Austin Thompson of the US Army. We honor fallen Washington State Patrol Trooper Justin Schaffer. Ryder thinks police should use paintball guns to identify people breaking quarantine rules. We take your Coronavirus questions from Social Media – the most popular after toilet paper is how are we gonna get our hair cut!

Shout-out to everyone out there being essential and then going home and laying low. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a truck thief says Coronavirus made him do it, a guy stole and ambulance with an EMT inside, and Englanders believed a hoax that the government was using Wembley to make a giant lasagna Claire’s neighbor is living in his kids’ playhouse because he travelled to England for business and is quarantining himself. In the Hourly Bulletin, Governor issues Stay at Home order, West Seattle Bridge closes, inmates escape Yakima Jail, Edmonds has stiff fines for stay-in-place violators and Amazon suspends 3900 selling accounts for pricing violations. Drew is worried people still aren’t going to change their habits simply because the Governor said so. In the Fitz Files, Trisha names some big hits Garth “stole” from her, Maren has a baby boy, people jumped on Lizzo for wearing a precious mask not knowing she had Strep, and Oprah makes Steadman stay in the guesthouse after being a COVID-denier. In the Good Stuff, Everett restauranteur Shawn O’Donnell delivered 125 meals to medical workers before he shut down his restaurants and a Texas teacher drives around to student’s homes with a sign saying “Hi” because she might not see them again this school year. On Make Up or Break Up, Tara from Lynwood is upset boyfriend Evan is spending a bunch of money on streaming services and a new TV when they aren’t working. Three million people watched Garth and Trisha’s free online concert last night; Fitz plays their version of “Shallow”. Playlist Profiling is Zen from Kirkland. The Surgeon General was on the “Today Show” and Drew and Claire go on about how hot he is. Fitz plays us a Coronavirus version of “Don’t Stand So Closed to Me”.

Our new favorite scents are “clean” and “bleach”. Drew explains whether or not the National Guard is activated and what they will do. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, people are filmed buying out all the TP in a store, a third of people say they have had their whole day ruined because no one told them there was food in their teeth, teens cough on produce at a grocery and film it for social, and a couple goes nuts when a store cashier won’t let them buy 23 cases of Mountain Dew. Drew’s Coronavirus Café served up a beautiful roast and we discuss home cookin’. In the Hourly Bulletin, the president orders FEMA supplies and resources to WA, grocery stores are making adjustments, local public transit has fewer routes but they’re free and a Tenino distillery is making hand sanitizer. In Sports Japan is insisting the Olympics will go on while countries start pulling out. Siri has been programmed to answer Coronavirus questions. Fitz has a Dad Joke right when we need one! In the Fitz Files, Garth is giving an online concert today, we remember Kenny Rogers, and Neil Diamond rewrote “Sweet Caroline” to fit the Coronavirus era. The internet is buckling is under the stress of so many people at home. In the Good Stuff, a woman gave birth in the toilet paper aisle of a Walmart in Missouri and lots of folks pitched in to help. Is Spending Time with your Family Making You Crazy? Crime in Coupeville: The Quarantine Edition! Today’s Troop Salute is Henry “Mike” Pokryzyka of the US Air Force. Ryder Went Camping in his House. P1 Trashman Mike Calls In with an update on his son who has Coronavirus. Monday Motivation bring us all some much-needed positivity.

Fitz has rubber gloves in every color of the rainbow and he’s wearing purple for the “Bull Yah!” In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, more people are willing to try love with a robot, the chores we hate the most include cleaning the toilet, spring breakers are complaining about beach closures and a man faces charges for falsely claiming he had Coronavirus to get attention. “Ticket or Skip It” is currently “Stream it or Skip It” and Drew recommends “Westworld” and “Ozark.” In the Hourly Bulletin, California’s Governor issues Shelter in Place order for all citizens, more temporary quarantine sites are being erected around the region, Washington State puts elective surgeries and dentistry on hold, and the feds delays Tax Day to July 15. In Sports, Tom Brady and Tampa Bay are official, the Olympics are committed to starting July 24th and NHL Seattle delays announcing the team name but donates to the community. In the Fitz Files, Mariah Carey likes Kelly Clarkson’s cover of her song “Vanishing”, the “ACM’s” will go on as performances from artists’ homes, and Playboy Magazine is going away because of Coronavirus. The Good Stuff gives us some Real Life Golden Girls with three little old ladies waiting out Coronavirus together. City vs. Country has been temporality shut down by the Governor. What Celebrity Would You Love to Be Quarantined With? Today is International Happiness Day and we talk about makes us happy. Drew’s is stocking up on ammo and Fitz wants to know if you agree or think he is going too far? Believe it Or Not has some great P1 stories like Elaine getting hit on by a young Matthew McConaughey. The Weekend Party Preview is now a Personal Party Preview, so you tell us what you are plannin

Fitz is Sporting Seahawks Action Green Latex Gloves! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a website will tell you exactly how long your current TP supply will hold out, a strip club is offering food delivery called Boob-er Eats, Spring Breakers in Miami are idiots and a guy got so drunk he stole two TV and when he sobered up he turned himself in saying he didn’t remember doing it. Fitz has a list of foods that are still on grocery shelves because no one wants them like Corona beer, Baby Shark cereal and Hot Tamales Peeps. In the Hourly Bulletin, Governor Inslee imposes a 30 day moratorium on evictions, public utilities will suspend late fees and disconnections, three members of one New Jersey family die and the Canadian Border is closed. In Sports, Gardner Minshew could be the official starter for Jacksonville and Wrestlemania 36 will be a 2-day event with no audience but a huge cast. Fitz tells us the Pope is trying to pray the virus away and Ryder doesn’t think that’s going to work. In the Fitz Files, Brett Young is quarantined after touring Europe so he is staying on his tour bus in his driveway, and Claire suggests Fitz do that with his kids, the “Friends” reunion is postponed and possibly the HBO streaming service that was going to launch with it and Kevin Bacon uses “6 Degrees” to ask you to think of loved while you are separating. In the Good Stuff, people around the nation are putting up their Christmas lights to cheer their neighbors. On Make Up or Break Up, Ben from Arlington is creeped out that his girlfriend Alicia talks in “baby talk.” Playlist Profiling is Courtney from Marysville. Throwin’ Shade has Shade taking on the Isolation Blues.

It seems unfair to be dealing with Coronavirus and still scraping our windshields. Ryder thinks Fitz is overreacting by not letting his partying teens back in the house with his pregnant wife and we get calls from listeners who agree with Ryder. In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a woman discovers her bar of soap is actually a block of cheese, the “Corn” (Porn) industry is seeing a huge spike and Claire carefully enlightens us on what women want. Fitz thinks we are going to start feeling lonely with empty buildings, but Ryder says he’s happy no one is telling him what to do. In the Hourly Bulletin, the president is sending us $1000, an elderly resident has advice from the Spanish Flu epidemic, Unemployment may expand available help, and grocery stores are offering special hours for vulnerable customers. In Sports, Russell and Ciara donate one million meals to Seattle Food Lifeline and Tom Brady is likely signing with Tampa Bay. Fitz will periodically play us Happy Sounds for Quarantine; today it’s a baby laughing. In the Fitz Files, “Big Brother” Germany contestants didn’t know about Coronavirus and Netflix now has Group Watch Party software to watch and chat online with friends. In The Good Stuff a couple scaled down their wedding from 200 people to 6 people. All Jacked Up will change the way you pee forever, plus we talk toenail clippers and monkey feet. Fitz leads us in a Therapeutic Release of the Sounds of Our Inner Anguish. A QFC Spokeswoman answers questions about grocery stores right now. Today’s Troop Salute is brothers Carl and Jacob Briels of the US Army. Fitz wants advice on how to entertain and educate his kids at home for the long haul.

The World’s Tallest Leprechaun wishes you a Happy St Patrick’s Day! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a Tik Tok “star” was shut down over a “Coronavirus Challenge” licking an airplane toilet seat, England is worried their sewage system can’t handle TP substitutes, Puyallup police ask criminals to simply stop committing crimes and calling 911 for TP, and ISIS has asked it’s fighters to avoid Europe. The Fitz Family Exile continues as his teenagers who defied his Social Distancing rules want to come home but he still won’t let them. In the Hourly Bulletin, a Coronavirus vaccine trial is underway in Seattle, Seattle is giving out grocery vouchers to needy families, a stranger visited a Coronavirus patient at Life Care in Kirkland, and Delta grounded a flight when a passenger admitted possible Coronavirus exposure. In Sports, Tom Brady announces he will not return to the Patriots but does not say where he is going. In the Fitz Files, Dierks Bentley will continue to pay employees at his Nashville bar, Kid Rock gave on and closed his, Keith Urban live streamed a show from his warehouse, Wrestlemania will go on without fans, and Blake Shelton is growing back his mullet to bring us all hope. In The Good Stuff, the Pink-a-Bella cupcake shop in Redmond was struggling but has seen new business from people buying cupcakes for nurses. On Make up or Break Up Adam from Arlington is frustrated his girlfriend Liz is not taking Coronavirus precautions seriously; she says he’s overreacting. Ryder wants to get Young’n & Shade back together and Fitz says he will support it, even though our Prime Minister hates them. P1’s join our Virtual St. Patrick’s Day Party!

Shout-Outs to everyone going out into the world to work and keeping us all going, like truckers, cops, farmers, pharmacy techs, daycares, trash truck drivers and everyone else! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a hand sanitizer price gouger has been forced to donate it, 7-11 has its own version of a chicken restaurant, divorce rates are skyrocketing in China due to quarantines and bidet sales are spiking because of the TP crisis. Open for Business: hit up the Bullhorn and give your small business a shout-out. In the Hourly Bulletin, mandatory closures of bars, restaurants, and gathering places, officials urging people to stop hoarding because trucks are still rolling, and plans are underway for financial relief such as late-fee forgiveness. In Sports, NFL players agree to a new deal which includes more games, and the NCAA extends eligibility for cancelled spring sports. In the Fitz Files, Tom Hanks riles Twitter by liking Vegemite, Hugh Jackson gets roasted for leaving water running in a hand-washing video, Warner Bros. shuts down production on 70 shows and pilots, and “Bachelorette” stars Hannah Brown and Tyler Cameron may be a thing. In The Good Stuff, Italian citizens sing from their balconies to honor medical professionals. On City vs. Country, Ernie from Bothell and City Girl Angela from Everett had their FaceTime date and it was a disaster. Because of You Coronavirus; how has COVID changed your life or ruined your plans? Today’s Troop Salute: James “Jax” Hammer of the US Navy Seabees. Fitz’s teens defied his rules and went out with friends so he banned them from coming home where he has a pregnant wife; did he do the right thing? Monday Motivation gets this quarantine week started off on a positive note.

Ryder can smell the weekend - Fitz smelled it too, but didn’t know that was the weekend! DJ Tony Schwartz has a virus-and-Irish-inspired Bull Yah! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a guy is arrested for stealing a single roll of TP from his neighbor, Fitz tells us all about his wishy-bombing exploits, a sad man had himself tattooed blue all over, and stats show macho men have more health issues later in life. On Ticket or Skip It Drew sort of reviews “Bloodshot” and “The Hunt” although he skipped the screenings. In the Hourly Bulletin, WA Governor closes school in three counties, OR Governor closes schools everywhere, hourly workers in limbo as business slows, and Starbucks may go drive-through only. In Sports the XFL will to pay players their full play and benefits despite cancellations, and NCAA cancellations have student-athletes and parents wondering about eligibility. In the Fitz Files, Peter the Pilot has already broken up with Madison, “Mulan” and Quiet Place Two” delayed, and Betty White is OK. In The Good Stuff, a distillery is offering a byproduct as a disinfectant for free to help folks stay clean during Coronavirus. On City vs. Country, Ernie from Bothell meets City Girl Angela from Everett and Country Girl Maryanne from Granite Falls, and Coronavirus is on their minds. Kane Brown calls in! Believe It or Not takes your calls about Sausage Family Royalty, Reba’s Caterer’s Daughter’s Cousin, and a girl whose parents are related. It’s so crazy here we forgot its Friday the 13th. Fitz asks your favorite things about working from home, like dogs, lunch anytime, and no bra! Today’s Weekend Party Preview is the Pity Party Preview – we run down some things that are cancelled, and remind you to check the latest information on www.989TheBull.com.

Despite all the craziness, it’s really starting to look and feel like spring out there, unless of course it snows again! In the What Are You Kidding Me stories, a 94-year old birthday woman tells her family she hopes it’s her last, the new TikTok is putting dry spaghetti in your mouth and asking someone to crack your neck, a rich guy ordered his chauffer to lead police on a chase because he was having an affair in the back and didn’t want to get caught, and no, cocaine will not prevent Coronavirus. Fitz tells us the most popular Emojis during the CV Crisis. In the Hourly Bulletin we have school closure updates and details of the Governor’s ban on events over 250 people and Oregon doing that too. In Sports, the NBA suspends all games after a player tests positive for CV, NCAA tourneys and local hockey are going on without fans, and we review possible plans for the Mariners. Drew tried to go to Costco last night, thinking it would be deserted and it was complete pandemonium. In the Fitz Files, Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson have CV in Australia, “Bachelor” host Chris Harrison says the audience reaction to Peter’s mom was like Jerry Springer, and Sarah Palin is “The Bear” on “The Masked Singer”. In the Good Stuff a kindergarten teacher gave a kidney to one of her former student’s mothers. On Make Up or Break Up, Cassie from Tacoma is disgusted by her boyfriend Mark’s refusal to tip servers. Fitz plays a Meditation Video but it quickly goes awry; like really awry. Playlist Profiling is Camo Mom from Everett. Throwin’ Shade finds Shade taking on the Toilet Paper Shortage. Some nice de-stressing Karaoke includes Garth, Johnny, Tupac and Al Green.