As a psychotherapist, I’m joined by my wife and producer, Larissa, for a conversation with our friend Suzanne Stabile, a teacher, author, and one of the most respected voices in the Enneagram community.

This is actually Suzanne’s first time publicly talking about The Shadow and the Enneagram, and we learned so much from each other in this conversation.

Here’s a glimpse of what we talk about:

• How each Enneagram type (1 through 9) experiences its shadow side

• What the shadow can teach us about our emotional and spiritual growth

• The connection between awareness, compassion, and self-acceptance

• Real stories about staying curious, honest, and kind with ourselves and others

This episode is honest, thoughtful, and full of “aha” moments as we explore what it really means to do deep inner work through the lens of the Enneagram.

If you’re new to the Enneagram, Suzanne’s book The Road Back to You is the perfect starting place.

Connect with Suzanne Stabile:

🔗 suzannestabile.com

📘 Books: The Road Back to You, The Path Between Us, The Journey Toward Wholeness

🎙️ Podcast: The Enneagram Journey

Follow Flip Your Lid on:

Instagram, TikTok, Facebook and Youtube: @kbhoneycutt

In this episode, Kim Honeycutt interviews Dr. Chuck DeGroat, a therapist and spiritual director, about navigating profound personal transformation and reconnecting with one’s true self. They discuss the impact of life-changing moments, Dr. DeGroat's journey through emotional neglect and health crises, and the role of self-awareness and boundaries. The conversation covers the Enneagram, compassion fatigue, and how to stay grounded amid polarized social and political landscapes. Tune in for insights on personal growth, vulnerability, and spiritual healing.

What They Discuss:

• Personal Transformation: Moments that dramatically alter one's life path and the journey to reconnect with the true self.
• Dr. Chuck DeGroat’s Story: His personal experiences with emotional neglect and a health crisis.
• "Flipping Your Lid": How life-changing disruptions can impact personal growth and self-discovery.
• Enneagram Insights: The role of the Enneagram in understanding oneself and facilitating growth.
• Self-Awareness and Boundaries: The significance of setting boundaries and cultivating self-awareness for healing.
• Navigating Polarization: Approaches to maintaining emotional resilience and groundedness in a divided world.
• Contemplative Practices: The impact of solitude and prayer on personal and spiritual development.

About Chuck DeGroat, PhD, LPC

"I’m a follower of Jesus, a husband to Sara for 30 years, and father to two amazing daughters. I serve as Professor of Counseling and Christian Spirituality and Executive Director of the Clinical Mental Health Counseling Program at Western Theological Seminary Holland MI. I’m also a faculty member for the Soul Care Institute.

I’m a licensed therapist, a spiritual director, author of five books, and retreat leader/speaker. As a therapist, I’ve specialized in issues of abuse and trauma, pastoral (and leadership) health, and navigating issues of doubt and dark nights on the faith journey. I’m also a Minister of Word and Sacrament in the Reformed Church in America. I pastored in Orlando and San Francisco before transitioning to training and forming pastors. I also train clergy in issues of abuse and trauma, conduct pastor and planter assessments, facilitate church consultations and investigations of abuse among pastors and within congregations.

My newest book is coming in early October and is available for pre-order now. It’s called Healing What’s Within: Coming Home to Yourself and to God When You’re Weary, Wounded, and Wandering. "

Connect:

ChuckDegroat.net

IG: @chuckdegroat

Resources Mentioned:

Elizabeth O'Connor - Author of "Our Many Selves"

Barbara Holmes - Author of "The Spirit of Revelation: Visionary Experiences in the Black Church."

Dr. Richard Schwartz – Noted for his work on Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy.

Susan David – Author of "Emotional Agility."

Charles Eisenstein – Mentioned for his work on the sacred nature of the world and the concept of interconnectedness.

Tara Brach – Author of "Radical Acceptance" and "Radical Compassion."

Ruth King – Author of "Mindful of Race."

In this episode, Kim Honeycutt welcomes Amy Polacko and returning guest Dr. Christine Cocchiola, co-authors of FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld. Amy and Dr. Cocchiola bring their combined expertise to shed light on the complex and often hidden struggles within the family court system. Together, they explore the profound impact of these systemic issues on individuals and communities, emphasizing the importance of resilience, healing, and advocacy. This episode delves into the interconnectedness of trauma, systemic injustice, and the vital role of support systems and grassroots movements in driving meaningful change.

What They Discuss:

• Amy Polacco's journey from TV reporter to domestic abuse advocate.
• Dr. Christine Cocchiola on trauma and systemic failures.
• Exposing injustices women face in family courts.
• Importance of protecting children in abusive situations.
• Power of community support and grassroots movements.

About:

Dr. Christine M. Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW

Christine Marie Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW, has been a social justice advocate since the age of 19 as a domestic abuse/sexual assault crisis counselor and a child welfare advocate. She served as a Board Member of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence and has actively supported codifying coercive control as the foundation of domestic abuse, writing policy briefs supporting these efforts and providing expert testimony at legislative hearings. Most importantly, through her own experiences as a protective parent, and her clinical expertise as a trauma-trained therapist, researcher, and educator, Dr. Cocchiola understands the impact that coercive control has on both adult and child victims. A college professor teaching social work for over 20 years, she is the creator of The Protective Parenting Program, a program to support protective parents navigating parenting children harmed by a coercive controller. Her other educational programming supports creating a greater awareness for attorneys, mental health clinicians, divorce coaches, and other allies to understand the often insidious nuanced nature of coercive control.

Amy Polacko

Amy Polacko is an award-winning journalist, investigative reporter, and divorce coach who survived a narcissist nightmare. After her own experience, she formed Freedom Warrior Coaching to become the guide she wished she had. Amy earned a Master’s degree from Columbia University’s School of Journalism and was part of the Pulitzer Prize-winning reporting team covering the TWA Flight 800 crash for Newsday. She has coached hundreds of women going through divorce, runs a support group, and writes for national news outlets about coercive control, domestic abuse, divorce, online dating, and singlehood. Her work has been featured in HuffPost, Ms. Magazine, The Washington Post, Newsweek, NBC News, The Independent, and Observer. Amy helps women take their power back before, during, and after divorce. She created a digital course “Divorce Decoded” to educate divorcing women about the process, warnings about family court, how to divorce a narcissist, and tips for avoiding devastating mistakes.

A few things you can do: 

Join our FB FRAMED Book Launch Team: FRAMED Facebook Book Launch Team

Add yourself to our FRAMED email list and check for updates:  www.narcfreepress.org 

Write a review. 

Like our social media posts and share them. 

IG @dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol and @freedomwarriortribe

In this episode of "Flip Your Lid," Kim Honeycutt welcomes Dr. Lucretia Berry, founder of Brownicity, to explore the nuances of racial education and the importance of fostering understanding and growth. Dr. Berry shares her journey, highlighting the importance of empathy, grace, and sustainable personal transformation in fostering a more inclusive and loving world. They address issues such as racial profiling, the significance of diverse media representation, and the misconceptions around "reverse racism." Through personal anecdotes and insightful dialogue, they emphasize the necessity of confronting biases, questioning long-held beliefs, and embracing uncertainty as pathways to deeper faith and a more inclusive society. Tune in to gain a deeper understanding of the challenges faced by marginalized communities and the importance of empathy, representation, and systemic change in achieving equity.

What They Discuss:

• The Importance of Empathy, Grace, and Sustainable Personal Transformation
• Racial Profiling and Discrimination
• Diverse Media Representation
• Misconceptions Around "Reverse Racism"
• Questioning Long-Held Beliefs and Embracing Uncertainty

About Dr. Lucretia Berry:

Brownicity’s President & Learning Community Director, Lucretia Carter Berry, PhD is an antiracism curriculum specialist, course designer, and author of What LIES Between Us - Fostering First Steps Toward Racial Healing, a TEDx speaker, and a writer for in(courage).me. She earned her Ph.D. in Curriculum and Instruction from Iowa State University and her BA from South Carolina State University.

Connect:

Webiste: Brownicity.com

IG: @brownicity

Just when you thought you knew everything about the Enneagram, therapist, and Enneagram expert Michael Shahan sheds new light. Join us for an insider look at "Flip Your Lid" host Kim Honeycutt and her wife, Larissa Miller, as Michael dives into the Enneagram with them. He navigates the complexities of Kim and Larissa's individual Enneagram numbers, uncovering how they shape their personal growth and relationship dynamics.

Michael delves into the nuances of stress and growth numbers within the Enneagram, shedding light on how understanding these aspects can profoundly deepen self-awareness and compassion. This episode invites reflection on how understanding ourselves and our loved ones can transform relationships and personal development.

What they discuss:

• Michael Shahan explores the significance of stress and growth numbers within the Enneagram.
• Kim Honeycutt (8) and Larissa Miller (4) are used as case studies to illustrate Enneagram stress and growth numbers.
• An in-depth examination of Type Eight, Type Four, and Type Six personalities reveals their unique challenges and developmental paths.
• Michael provides insights into the Essential Qualities within the Enneagram.
• The episode emphasizes the Enneagram's role in understanding human behavior and emotional patterns.

About Michael:

Michael Shahan is a licensed Marriage and Family therapist best known for utilizing the Enneagram in his practice and training other therapists and mental health professionals to do the same. His courses, “Enneagram for Therapists” and “Polyvagal Theory and the Enneagram,” are certified by the National Board for Certified Counselors for continuing education. Michael is the father of two, lives in Kansas City, and has a semi-secret watercolor hobby that he practices regularly. 

Michael Shahan's Meditation Series:

The Embodied Enneagram: A Guided Meditation Series

https://mailchi.mp/7fe156ca8a9f/embodied-enneagram-meditations

Resources Mentioned:

Growth and Stress Levels For Each Number:

https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-descriptions/

"Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery" by Riso and Hudson:

https://a.co/d/0hSdd1rR

Contact:

Micheal Shahan: MichaelShahan.com and IG @michaelshahan_therapy

Kim Honeycutt: KimHoneycutt.com and IG @kbhoneycutt

Larissa Miller: 21.Media and IG @larissa.miller

In this episode, Kim chats with Chris Kratzer, a former conservative evangelical pastor who shares his powerful story of transformation. Chris discusses his shift from a strict, judgmental faith to a more compassionate and inclusive spirituality.

He recalls his early days in ministry, driven by ego and rigid beliefs against women in ministry and LGBTQ+ individuals. A major turning point came when he faced severe anxiety, depression, and a near-suicidal moment, which changed his understanding of God and faith.

Chris emphasizes honesty and the struggle against the control in evangelical circles. He talks about the loneliness he experienced while deconstructing his faith. Despite the challenges, Chris's story is one of hope and renewal, finding a more genuine and compassionate faith.

Join us for an inspiring and thought-provoking conversation on faith, honesty, and the power of compassion.

About Chris:

Chris Kratzer is a pastor and author of 25 years. His transition away from conservative Evangelicalism has served thousands around the world in discovering a faith that doesn’t require one to lose their mind, heart, and self in the process. Chris purposes his writing on being a voice for the spiritually oppressed that they may know they are loved, affirmed, and not alone, while also calling the evils of modern, conservative Christianity out of the shadows. Chris is married with four children.

Connect with Chris:

Website: ChrisKratzer.com

IG: @eckratzer

Join Kim Honeycutt as she engages in a heartfelt conversation with special guest and friend Alex Reegan. Together, they explore Alex's transformative journey from sobriety to self-discovery, navigating the complexities of identity and healing.

Alex opens up about his experience as a trans man, overcoming societal and familial expectations rooted in conservative religious upbringing. Alex shares insights into emotional processing, chronic pain, and the pursuit of healing. Themes of resilience, self-acceptance, and forgiveness resonate throughout, with Alex's transition serving as a powerful testament to the ongoing journey of growth and authenticity.

Themes they discuss:

• Personal Struggles and Identity
• Gender Identity and Societal Expectations
• Navigating Family Relationships
• Emotional Processing and Grief
• Spiritual Practices and Self-Discovery
• Self-Compassion and Healing

About Alex Reegan:

Alex Reegan is the author of What Needs To Be Said, as well as an interfaith minister, speaker, and transformative spiritual coach who uses his intuitive wisdom to help guide people towards their own inner knowing. Born into an evangelical Christian family that prevented his true identity as a trans man from emerging, he spent years in depression, anxiety, and addiction trying to break free of the oppressive beliefs that bound him. His journey at last led him to sobriety, shamanism and then seminary, which helped him reclaim his faith and trust in the Divine. Through speaking engagements, workshops, one-on-one and group sessions with clients, Alex is profoundly dedicated to helping others speak their truth, release shame, and find oneness. 

Connect with Alex:

Website: www.alexreegan.com

IG: @revreegs

In this episode, Kim interviews former evangelical pastor Brian Recker and discusses his journey of self-discovery amid political shifts during Donald Trump's rise. Brian reflects on leaving his pastoral role during the COVID-19 pandemic, reevaluating his beliefs, and advocating for LGBTQ+ rights within Christianity. This episode emphasizes authenticity and embracing diversity in religious contexts. 

Here's a sneak peek into what they discuss:

• Brian's transformation and self-discovery journey 
• Advocacy for LGBTQ+ rights within Christianity and efforts to foster inclusivity
• Importance of creating inclusive spiritual environments where individuals can authentically express themselves without judgment or exclusion
• Challenges faced by Brian after leaving the pastorate 
• Evaluating beliefs and their impact with Byron Katie's four questions 
• Emphasis on authenticity and uncertainty in spirituality over theological rigidity

About Brian Recker:

About Brian:

Brian Recker, a former evangelical pastor for over eight years, transitioned from fundamentalism after growing up in a Baptist home and attending Bob Jones University. Moving into mainstream evangelicalism felt progressive compared to his upbringing. Brian later pastored a multi-site church on the North Carolina coast but never felt fully comfortable in the evangelical movement. It took almost a decade for him to realize that his evolution was not complete, and leaving fundamentalism was only the beginning of his spiritual journey.

After spending several years quietly wrestling with where his faith would land, he began speaking publicly on Instagram, where he found out that many people were thinking the same thoughts he was. After quickly gaining 1000,000 followers from his unique, compassionate, yet down-to-earth communication style, he started a podcast, "Sacred Counsel," offering pastoral wisdom to people in their journeys of evolving spirituality. Brian has a Master of Arts in Ministry from Lancaster Bible College and has four children.

Connect:

www.brianrecker.com 

IG: @berecker

After Kim heard Dr. Christine Cocchiola on the world-famous leading narcissistic expert Dr. Ramani's podcast, she had to talk to Dr. Cocchiola, and you'll understand once you listen to the podcast.

Their conversation goes deep into understanding coercive control, narcissism, and how it affects individuals, especially in the challenging landscape of family court battles. Dr. Cocchiola shares her advocacy journey, drawing from personal and professional experiences.

Throughout the podcast, they shed light on the subtle signs of abuse, delve into topics like schema theory, and discuss the long-lasting effects of trauma. Plus, they tackle misconceptions about parental alienation syndrome, which is so crucial in family court settings.

Here's a sneak peek into what they discuss:

• Exploring the impact of coercive control and narcissism
• Debunking myths surrounding parental alienation syndrome
• Advocating for a broader understanding of abuse dynamics
• Navigating legal challenges in cases of abuse
• Finding paths to healing and empowerment

About Dr. Cocchiola: 

Christine Marie Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW, a Board Member of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence and a Founding Member of the International Coercive Control Conference. She has actively supported codifying coercive control as the foundation of domestic abuse, writing policy briefs supporting these efforts and providing expert testimony at legislative hearings. Most importantly, through her own experiences as a protective parent, her clinical expertise as a trauma trained therapist, a researcher and educator, Dr. Cocchiola understands the impact that coercive control has on both adult and child victims. A college professor teaching in social work for over 20 years, she has created various programs to educate protective parents and court professionals on best practices to support these vulnerable populations.

Connect:

https://www.coercivecontrolconsulting.com/

IG: @dr.cocchiola_coercivecontrol

In this "Flip Your Lid with Kim Honeycutt" episode, join us as Kim interviews Dr. Carol George, a pioneer and expert in attachment theory, as she unravels the depths of attachment patterns and the interplay of trauma. They explore each attachment pattern: secure, ambivalent, and avoidant alongside lesser-known dismissive failed blocked mourning and preoccupied with suffering. Gain insights into adult manifestations and the interplay of biology, trauma, and defense mechanisms. They also discuss The Adult Attachment Projective Picture System © (AAP) as the best assessment for determining your attachment pattern.

• Attachment patterns, including secure, ambivalent, avoidant, and lesser-known patterns, such as dismissive failed blocked mourning and preoccupied with suffering.
• Adult manifestations of attachment patterns and how they shape relationships and behaviors.
• The interplay of biology, trauma, and defense mechanisms in the context of attachment.
• Understanding and recognizing one's attachment pattern for personal growth and relationship dynamics is important.
• Introduction and discussion of The Adult Attachment Projective Picture System © (AAP) as a comprehensive assessment tool for determining one's attachment pattern.
• How the AAP can provide valuable insights into the complexities of attachment and contribute to self-awareness.

About Dr. Carol George:

Carol George, Ph.D., is Professor Emerita of Psychology at Mills College in Oakland, California, and has been a pioneer in developing attachment assessments for children and adults. George is an internationally renowned attachment expert who was a co-director of the Mills College Infant Mental Health program for 21 years. Working alongside Dr. Main and Dr. Kaplan, her dissertation helped develop the Adult Attachment Interview. She is praised for her work as an author and editor, and is known for her contributions to attachment-based representative assessments like the Caregiving Interview, the Attachment Doll Play Projective Assessment, and “Disorganized Attachment and Caregiving,” alongside Judith Soloman. Her other contributions include “The Adult Attachment Projective Picture System” with Malcolm West. Although retired from being a professor, George is still incredibly active and stays busy being an assistant editor on the editorial board of Attachment and Human Development, as well as the Director of the AAP Training Consortium. Her dedication to education is still prevalent as she often hosts extensive clinical consultations with practicing therapists, graduate students, and other students of attachment.

Contact Information & Resources:

[email protected] – Contact information if you're interested in AAP

Adult Attachment Publications – List of credible publications and learning materials

Attachment Projective – Official website with training opportunities and resources