A simple request for popcorn from my eight-year-old daughter completely transformed my understanding of what it means to ask for what we want in life. Standing in a cold school playground, I watched in amazement as she boldly approached a fundraising table, bypassed a queue of 40 parents, and secured popcorn without a penny in her pocket—all because she simply asked.
Her reflection later that evening "If I don't ask, I won't know whether the answer is yes or no" struck me as wisdom that many of us adults have forgotten or never learned.
How many opportunities have we missed because we feared rejection? How many desires remain unfulfilled because we never voiced them?
Drawing from this experience, I've developed five principles to help us all become more effective at asking for what we want.
First, get crystal clear about your desires.
Second, cultivate courage not waiting until you feel ready, but leaning into discomfort.
Third, separate yourself from outcomes, understanding that rejection doesn't diminish your worth.
Fourth, remember that "yes lives in the land of no"—you must wade through rejections to find acceptance.
Finally, practice asking in small ways to build confidence for those life-changing requests.
Whether you're seeking a promotion, deeper relationships, or simply trying to navigate daily interactions with more authenticity, the courage to ask directly for what you want can open doors you never knew existed. I'd love to hear how these principles resonate with your experiences or help support you in getting closer to what you want.
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