Four Guys on a Train

The Hey Arnold! fanfiction has begun to trickle into our reality! The gentlemen question the validity of a dubiously credited work, quiz the Prince of Darkness on the real stories behind famous American mysteries, and attempt to differentiate between the ramblings of Yeezy (Kanye West) and Sleazy (Donald Trump).

Can the human mind contain the calamity that is Cats? Not very well! The gentlemen make a new A.I. friend who tells them entertaining - albeit mean and horny - stories, and take turns pretending to be famous characters facing the peril of a mob of reporters.

New year, new you? Nope, same you! The gentlemen resolve to better themselves in 2021 (assuming the hillbilly revolutionaries don’t burn our whole society to the ground), ponder a real estate purchase from a high-class survivalist, and determine scientifically who they would marry, kill, or… have coitus with? That’s how we’ll say it.

Is it soda or is it pop? Grab a Coke and let’s discuss! The gentlemen salivate over the top food trends of 2020 (per elite culture aggregator TikTok), enjoy some high-stakes WWE anime action with Earotica, and delve into whether or not they know it’s christmas time at all. (For you, it’s definitely not, thanks to standard production delays!)

Can you be a fan of someone you’re friends with? No, you can’t! The gentlemen discuss whether the holidays can overstay their welcome, consider going halfsies (or thirdsies) on an expensive piece of Americana, and dissect the thoughtful lyrics of a rock ‘n roll classic.

The three guys of Four Guys on a Train are in their 30s, so naturally, they’ve created a podcast. They discuss handkerchiefs, learn what cute Star Wars characters they are (based on their culinary preferences), and introduce the world to Earotica, dramatic table reads of very weird fanfiction.