Freedom from Attachment

You are hanging on by a thread. On the one hand, you have this amazing connection to someone. It feels almost unreal sometimes. On the other hand, you don’t see each other very often and you know he/she is probably dating other people. Seeing their profile all over dating apps is driving you crazy. BUT, he/she has been hurt in the past (or some other excuse), which makes getting into a relationship scary. You understand that and want to be patient because you see a potential future together. Part of you wants to confess your feelings, but you’re scared of pushing this person away. Meanwhile, you’re in anxiety hell.

This is not a relationship—it’s a game. You try new strategies, but still end up losing. You may even be pissed at him/her for “doing this” to you, not realizing you’re here by choice. It’s a painful attachment you’re afraid of losing. So why do you prolong your suffering, settling for breadcrumbs from someone who is clearly not willing to commit? In this episode I’ll talk about this painful hell many insecurely attached people find themselves in, along with some hard truths to separate fantasy from reality. I’ll also share two important steps that will give you the strength to realize you can move on. But first, your desire to feel better has to be stronger than the pain you’re in.

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Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

At 33 years old, Jessica Zweig had to ask her parents for $200 to pay her phone bill. Only a few years earlier she was living her “Sex in the City” life in Chicago, running a high-profile women’s lifestyle magazine. It was a sharp contrast to her uncool high school persona, proving to everyone she had finally arrived. But her business only looked successful from the outside; inside it was a financial mess. She could barely pay her employees and she suffered from chronic anxiety. A full-blown emotional breakdown soon followed, and in the midst of it she looked down at the tattoo on her wrist that read “simply be." It was an aspiration she had never achieved. An inner voice pointed out she was totally out of alignment with herself, and it was time to leave her business.

It took Jessica a full year and a lot of coaching to finally walk away from her company. Everyone around her was thriving, while she was full of shame and self-loathing. Her road back to herself involved a lot of therapy, spiritual journeys, self-work and self-responsibility, but she eventually created her own personal brand and started showing up as her authentic self… every day. Now she helps others identify their personal brand through her agency, SimplyBe. Listen in as Jessica shares the one question she urges everyone ask 3-5 important people in your life.

“What’s so critical on the path to self-actualization is accountability and responsibility for the part you played.” –Jessica Zweig

Jessica recently added “author” to her brand identity with her book, “Be: A No-Bullsh*t Guide to Increasing Your Self Worth and Net Worth by Simply Being Yourself.” She has been named Crain's Chicago's 2020 Most Notable Entrepreneurs, and one of Inc.’s Top Digital Marketer to Watch in 2017.

Learn more about Jessica here:

Website: https://www.jessicazweig.com/

Agency: https://www.simplybeagency.com/

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Be-No-Bullsh-Increasing-Simply-Yourself/dp/1683646991/ref=sr_1_1?crid=26V7CFZMGCBGI&dchild=1&keywords=jessica+zweig&qid=1607016085&sprefix=jessica+zweig%2Caps%2C284&sr=8-1

Instagram: @jessicazweig

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

Someone says something to piss you off. In your head you think, “What a jerk!” In that moment, when you’re triggered, you can’t see how you’re responsible for your reaction (not the person who triggered you). You can’t see how you’re responsible for your choice to either strike back or shut down in response. In your head it’s a zero-sum game with a winner and a loser. If you blame the other person, the point goes to you. If you accept what they say, they have the upper hand. There is no space for communication based in grace, love or self-responsibility.

Communication goes awry when there is defensiveness and a reluctance to accept responsibility. A fear of loss is also at play. Fighting dirty might feel good in the moment, but guilt and shame often follow, leading you to feel even worse. You ALWAYS have a choice in how you respond and what you say. In this week’s episode, we’ll look at how to change your communication goals from being the winner (which creates distance) to being vulnerable (which brings people closer). It’s a game-changer.

WISDOM NUGGET (#wisdomnugget)

Communication can be challenging when you fear loss, but the thing you keep losing is yourself. Be open, honest and courageous—the rewards will come.

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

You create whatever you focus on. If someone says, “Think about anything but a pink elephant,” what comes to mind? A pink elephant, of course. So why do you focus on your “flaws” or what you perceive to be negative about yourself? By feeding into what you don’t do well or don’t like about yourself, you constantly react to it… and just create more of it.

If you believe you’re an ogre, you’ll constantly try to prove you’re not one. It all stems from childhood limitations and the stories you told yourself: Because I’m an ogre I’ll never amount to anything in life. Because I’m an ogre I’ll never be worthy of love. You don’t want this to be true so you work very hard to convince other people (and yourself) otherwise. You try to control their perception of you. But of course, by focusing on NOT being an ogre, you just perpetuate that story.

In this week’s podcast I invite you to explore your own limiting stories and how you react to them. Where do they come from? Why do they exist? How do you keep them alive in your daily life? Once you’re aware of your negative story, and how you react to it, you can stop creating it. The problem isn’t being an ogre—we all are at times. The problem is disowning that part of yourself and trying to prove you’re not one. If you accept the ogre inside and stop focusing on it, it will sit quietly and leave you alone.

WISDOM NUGGET (#wisdomnugget)

You convey a medley of confusion by trying to control perceptions. Instead, let go, be aware and align with your true self.

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of healing, toxic relationships, and how to not stop yourself from feeling your feelings.

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

What do you think you need to finally feel good? Do you believe you haven’t earned it yet? Haven’t suffered enough? Waiting for permission or a sign from the Universe? You may think feeling good (happy, content, joyful) is something bestowed upon you after you prove you deserve it. Once you hit that salary milestone or kiss 100 frogs. But when you wait for something outside of you, you give up your birthright to feel good. Yes, feeling good is a birthright. And it’s a choice that is always available to you.

That means misery and struggle are also a choice, and they don’t go away with wishful thinking. Feeling good requires you to allow those uncomfortable emotions you’re sitting in; to accept everything as it is. It’s not about pretending everything is perfect. You can choose to be with all your feelings, or constantly beat yourself up trying to get to a false nirvana. When you no longer try to shield yourself from negative feelings, you can just be. Listen to this week’s podcast where I help you identify your obstacles to feeling good, and how to feel your way through it.

WISDOM NUGGET (#wisdomnugget)

Feeling good is a choice, even if it is uncomfortable. Start small and smell the flowers, eat the dessert, smile at the stranger and open your heart.

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of emotional hunger, letting go of a relationship, and patterns in relationships.

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

People who have attachment issues aren’t just attached to other people… they are also attached to ideas. They are attached to how they are seen by others, and how they want things to look. This narrow window of possibility is born from lack—that feeling there is not enough. That THEY as humans are not enough. And if they don’t get what they want, the answer is to work harder for their piece of the pie. The focus is on the negative: what’s missing or not enough or unlikely to work out because of X,Y and Z. And yep, you guessed it, control plays a major role in this limited outlook.

We actually create this sense of lack and scarcity by believing there is only one way to do something, so we struggle to make it happen. And then what? If you do achieve your goal, are you happy? Is it actually what you want? Probably not because the lack is still inside you. There is a lack of self-love, lack of self-worth, lack of trust in yourself. That doesn’t go away when you get the thing you’ve been struggling so hard to get. In this week’s podcast I’ll share how I let go of struggle, stopped leading from fear and opened myself to abundance. It really is magical what you can create when you let go and ALLOW.

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of yo-yo relationships, emotional commitment, and codependency.

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617

Have you designed a conditional happiness model for yourself?

Tracy Litt was 24 when she lost her mom, and 28 when she became an unemployed single mom. If life looks like a heart monitor, those were the two biggest dips in her life. But the second dip was the one that catapulted her out because her higher self finally spoke up. It told her crying self to get up and wipe her face; she had a whole life to create for her and her daughter. Tracy listened.

“We all have the same exact depth and breadth of inner power. We all have a higher version of ourselves.” –Tracy Litt

That voice spoke to Tracy again after 12 successful years in the corporate world. It said, “This isn’t it. You’re meant for something huge. Get up and figure it out.” The next chapter of her life started with a conscious, intentional decision. She started to pay attention to herself, knowing something had to shift on the inside. When she found coaching, she leaned in. Today her work has served thousands of women across the globe and has been featured in TEDx, Entrepreneur, FastCompany, Thrive Global, and Inc.com. She is the creator of “The Choice Method”: a powerful methodology that allows her clients to elevate happiness, prosperity, and fulfillment with ease.

Listen to my powerful conversation with Tracy where she shares the question she asks herself every single day to connect with her higher self. It works 100% of the time.

You can access her free 30-minute training video at feelthepowerofcalm.com, and find her at:

Website: https://www.thelittfactor.com/

Facebook:@thelittfactor

Instagram: @thelittfactor

Youtube: @thelittfactor

Join my FREE Facebook Group for free monthly challenges and ongoing support from me and my coaches: bit.ly/2WRdKBt

Want to submit a question? Click here: bit.ly/AskTracyCrossley and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.

Sick of being insecurely attached? Click here to get my free meditative insecure attachment release: tracy-crossley.mykajabi.com/pl/140617