Grace & Grind

From Chains to Change: How Etiquette Shaped Black History and Social Mobility


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Ep. 18 From survival to success, etiquette has played a pivotal role in shaping Black identity and resilience. In this episode, Grace + Grind producer Jazzy T and etiquette coach Dr. Pamala dive into the history, impact, and evolution of etiquette within the Black community. Etiquette isn’t just about table manners—it’s a set of socially accepted behaviors that have shaped interactions, access, and upward mobility for generations.


When we think of Black history, we often reflect on the resilience, creativity, and strength of our ancestors. We celebrate the monumental achievements of leaders, activists, inventors, and cultural icons. But one essential aspect of our heritage that is often overlooked is the role of etiquette—refined social grace, manners, and cultural decorum—as both a survival tool and a means of advancement.


🔎 What You’ll Learn:

✅ The origins of etiquette in the Black community—from the brutal constraints of slavery to its unexpected role in empowerment

✅ How house slaves learned cultured behaviors that later helped break social and economic barriers

✅ The post-slavery impact of etiquette, including colorism, social stratification, and the stigma of "acting white"

✅ How Black leaders and organizations reframed etiquette as a tool for equity, empowerment, and professional success

✅ The lasting influence of etiquette on closing socioeconomic gaps, building confidence, and fostering respect in today’s society


The System Wasn't Built for Us—So How Do We Win? 🚨

What happens when the rules keep changing to hold you back? Dr. Pamala exposes the hidden attacks on Black success—from education and DEI rollbacks to economic roadblocks—and reveals how etiquette can be a revolutionary tool for upward mobility.


Connect with Dr. Pamala

  • Social Media: @IamDrPamala
  • Website: www.totallyyou-nique.com
  • Contact Number: 585-454-9827



    00:00 - Introduction

    02:15 - Etiquette as a Survival Strategy

    07:30 - The Impact of Slave Codes on Behavior

    12:45 - From Black Codes to Imposter Syndrome

    18:20 - Social Strata Within Black Communities

    23:50 - The Decline of Etiquette in Modern Society

    29:15 - Reclaiming Etiquette for Empowerment

    35:40 - Final Thoughts & Call to Action


    #BlackEtiquette #CulturalEmpowerment #HistoryMatters #BlackExcellence #BlackHistoryMonth

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    Grace & GrindBy Dr. Pamala Brown-Grinion

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