Author John Bradshaw (the author of “Healing the Shame that Binds You”) was one of the first to introduce the idea that we are human BE-ings, not human DO-ings. This catchy expression has particular relevance to those of us who get so busy performing activities “out in the world” that we begin to determine our worth through external measures at the expense of pausing, grounding, and having faith in our inherent value as living beings.
Today, you’ll hear a free preview of part one of a relaxed sit-down chat with my friend Melanie. We discuss becoming more cognizant of the difference between always hustling, checking off to-do lists, and getting things done (human doing) versus taking a breather, being mindful, and just soaking in the moment (human being).
The 'doing' mode (the mode most of us spend most of our time in), it's all about external wins and achievements, where your identity is basically what you've accomplished. On the flip side, the 'being' mode is about tuning into yourself, reflecting, and enjoying who you are beyond the never ending to-do list of things you “should” be doing.
UNLOCK THE FULL VERSION OF THIS EPISODE: visit  https://linktr.ee/backfromtheborderline and join the community of Premium Submarines on Patreon. acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

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from human doing to human being [preview]

You can perform emotional alchemy and I will show you how.

 The idea of alchemy is to reduce something with fire – burning it down so that something new can rise from the ashes. You can do this with your personality, too. You’ve always had the power; you just didn’t know that. Now you do.
&nbsp; Highly sensitive, emotional, and intuitive children are often impacted most severely by dysfunctional family dynamics, childhood emotional neglect, sexual abuse, grooming, generational trauma, and inherited toxic shame. As adults, these same children often find themselves with a disorder or dysfunction label, as mainstream psychiatry tries to convince them that the root of their suffering is due to a disordered personality or chemical imbalance. 

 Our current medical model of mental health is quick to pathologize. Psychiatrists and therapists operating within this model often ask, “What’s wrong with you?” but rarely, “What *happened* to you?” Personalities are not cancerous tumors; psychological suffering cannot be accurately understood or treated through the lens of a purely medical model. We have to go deeper. And that's exactly what we do here on Back from the Borderline. 

 A path toward healing exists, even though I know it can feel impossible when you’re looking up from rock bottom. 

 Through working with and integrating the concepts we explore in each episode together, you’ll learn to:

 ✧ Better regulate, name and process your emotions ✧ Understand and reduce chronic feelings of emptiness ✧ Confront and uproot your toxic shame ✧ Put an end to recurring patterns of self-sabotage ✧ Connect with your Higher Self ✧ Break the cycle of generational family trauma ✧ Set healthier boundaries with yourself and others ✧ Recognize the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships ✧ Heal from a chronic need to please and seek validation from others

 Tune in and prepare yourself to be standing in the ashes of the person you used to be. New episodes drop every Tuesday.
&nbsp; As for me? I'm Mollie Adler. A disillusioned millennial, podcaster, writer, creative, existential thinker, obsessive researcher (huge nerd), and fellow f*cked up human desperately trying to find meaning in a society and culture that seems to be devoid of it.&nbsp;To read my Substack articles, access my Amazon book recommendation list, submit a voicemail, or contact me for collaborations, visit https://linktr.ee/backfromtheborderline.&nbsp;

 Anyone – even you – can come Back From the Borderline. 

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In this explosive episode, we peel back the glitzy veneer of the Miss USA and Miss Teen USA pageants to reveal a world riddled with scandal, misogyny, and exploitation. From Caite Upton's unforgettable "everywhere like such as" answer in 2007 to the shocking resignations of Miss USA Noelia Voigt and Miss Teen USA UmaSofia Srivastava, you'll dive deep into the systemic issues plaguing these competitions.
As someone who witnessed Caite Upton's infamous moment firsthand from backstage as a contestant in the 2007 Miss Teen USA pageant, I offer a unique insider's perspective on the toxic culture within the pageant industry. Watching Caite deliver her answer, I saw the immediate reactions and felt the collective shock. This was one of the first viral events on the internet, back when YouTube was still in its infancy. We all laughed, but what impact does being publicly shamed on such a massive scale have on someone? In this episode, we'll discuss this and the profound effect it had on Caite, who was just a teenage girl at the time. She became a spectacle, an early guinea pig of internet public shaming during the wild west era of social media.
You'll get an in-depth analysis of the current drama surrounding UmaSofia Srivastava and Noelia Voigt's resignations. Their PR-friendly and somewhat cryptic statements reveal the darker side of these 'empowering' platforms, which often reduce young women to their physical appearance and silence their voices through ironclad NDAs. We’ll explore how these resignations expose systemic exploitation and control within the pageant industry.
Trace the history of beauty pageants, from their rise in the 1950s to their recent fall, marred by scandals and allegations of harassment. Discover the shocking stories of abuse and exploitation during Donald Trump's controversial ownership, and dive into the ongoing chaos within the Miss Universe Organization marked by financial instability, rigging accusations, and toxic leadership.
Uncover how powerful men like Trump have weaponized the law to silence victims, and delve into the broader cultural implications of a society obsessed with hyper-sexualized and unattainable beauty standards. This episode is a call to action. Imagine the impact if every contestant walked away, just like Noelia and UmaSofia. Such a bold stand could force the Miss USA organization to confront its deep-seated issues. Real change won't come from performative Instagram posts; it requires bold, revolutionary steps. 
Tune in to hear the real stories behind the headlines, the dark underbelly of the pageant world, and how we can collectively demand better for future generations of young women. Are we ready to end this exploitative circus, or will we continue to prop up a system that degrades and silences women? The choice is ours.
CONTACT ME + UNLOCK THE EXTENDED EPISODE: To join the Premium Submarines on Patreon (unlocking full + ad-free episodes), check out my sponsors, or contact me, visit backfromtheborderline.com.    Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

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exposing miss USA’s dark secrets: title holder resignations, misogyny, corruption, and 'everywhere like such as’

In honor of "BPD Awareness Month", we’re taking a critical and eye-opening journey through time to deeply understand the history of the borderline personality disorder diagnostic label, tracing its disturbing roots back to the ancient concept of 'hysteria.'
Together, we’ll explore the pathologization of women's emotions and behaviors from the times of Plato and Hippocrates, through the 19th-century diagnosis of hysteria, to the contemporary label of BPD. We delve into the controversial legacy of Jean-Martin Charcot, whose exploitative and later debunked experiments on "hysterical" women laid the groundwork for modern psychiatry and influenced figures like Sigmund Freud. You’ll also discover how Freud's initial recognition of the trauma and sexual abuse suffered by his female patients morphed into the infamous oedipus complex blaming women for their own distress.
This episode also shines a light on Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD), another modern label that pathologizes the natural cyclical changes in women, reinforcing outdated notions of female instability. Drawing from historical accounts and modern critiques, this episode will reveal how the diagnostic criteria for hysteria were simply repackaged into histrionic personality disorder, and later, BPD. The result is a powerful critique of the psychiatric model, showing how little has changed in the medical gaze on women’s mental health.
Listeners will gain a deeper understanding of the gender biases that persist in psychiatry and how the stigmatization of women’s experiences continues to echo through time. This episode challenges the liberating narrative of mental health labels, urging us to reconsider the origins and implications of these diagnoses. BPD is not just a modern label—it is hysteria in sheep's clothing. By the end of this episode, you'll view BPD and the entire psychiatric model through a new lens, questioning the narratives that have been accepted for centuries.
 RESOURCES: 
✧ Ussher, J. M. (2013). Diagnosing difficult women and pathologising femininity: Gender bias in psychiatric nosology. Feminism & Psychology, 23(1), 63-69. https://doi.org/10.1177/0959353512467968  ✧ BPD = Hysteria? By Amanda Robins via https://www.amandarobinspsychotherapy.com.au/  (October, 2017)  ✧ Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) – The New Hysteria by Joy Eidse MSW, RSW (November, 2017) ✧In Search of Hysteria: The Man Who Thought He Could Define Madness (On Jean-Martin Charcot, Dark Star of 19th-Century Neurology) by By Allan H. Ropper and Brian Burrell via LitHub (September, 2019) 
UNLOCK THE FULL VERSION OF THIS EPISODE: visit https://www.patreon.com/backfromtheborderline to join the community on Patreon. From here, you'll be able to access all full-length (and ad free!) episodes of BFTB.   CONTACT ME CHECK OUT MORE OF MY WORK: To read my Substack articles, access my Amazon book recommendation list, submit a voicemail, or contact me for collaborations, visit backfromtheborderline.com. acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

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BPD as hysteria in sheep’s clothing: the persistent myth of female instability from ancient greece to modern psychiatry [preview]

In Episode 9 of our ongoing series on Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN), we delve into the final three in our list of symptoms that shape the adult lives of those affected by early emotional neglect: internalized anger, lack of self-discipline, and alexithymia. Each of these symptoms reveals a unique aspect of the long-term effects of neglect that continue to challenge individuals into adulthood.
We begin by exploring internalized anger and self-blame, often hidden beneath the surface but profoundly influencing one’s self-image and interactions. This anger is typically directed inward as a misguided form of control and self-protection, originating from the false belief during childhood that one is inherently at fault for the neglect they experienced. This episode will dissect the origins and impacts of this self-directed anger, helping listeners recognize and address these often destructive patterns.
Next, we address the lack of self-discipline, a less obvious but equally significant consequence of CEN. This symptom, often referred to as “executive dysfunction,” manifests as struggles with daily responsibilities and self-care, rooted in the absence of early life structure and emotional guidance. Listeners will gain insights into how emotional neglect disrupts the development of self-regulation skills and learn strategies to cultivate these essential aspects of adult life.
Lastly, we cover alexithymia—the inability to identify and express emotions, a common but perplexing outcome of CEN. This condition can lead to significant challenges in personal relationships and overall emotional health. We'll explore how a childhood devoid of emotional validation can lead to this emotional blindness, and discuss ways to begin reconnecting with one's emotional self.
This episode aims not only to shed light on these symptoms but also to offer paths toward healing and understanding. By recognizing the roots of these issues, listeners can start to transform their internal narrative from one of blame and confusion to one of recovery and clarity. Join me as we continue to unravel the complex legacy of childhood emotional neglect and forge a path towards emotional resilience and self-discovery.
Recommended Resources: ✧ Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect by Jonice Webb, PhD ✧ My full episode exploring executive dysfunction (overcoming executive dysfunction: "why can't i just do the thing?!”) Click here to listen on Apple Podcasts or here to listen on Spotify. ✧ Click here for a full depiction of the “feelings wheel” or visit https://feelingswheel.com/
CONTACT ME + UNLOCK PREMIUM: To join the Premium Submarines on Patreon (unlocking full + ad-free episodes), check out my sponsors, or contact me, visit backfromtheborderline.com   Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

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childhood emotional neglect part 9: signs and symptoms – internalized anger, lack of self-discipline, and alexithymia

Discover the profound legacy of labyrinths, not just as intricate mazes, but as powerful tools in modern psychological therapy. This episode explores their historical significance and their transformative role in EMDR therapy— a technique developed by Francine Shapiro in 1987 for healing psychological trauma. Together, we’ll learn how these ancient paths, once central to the ceremonies of ancient Egypt and the myths of Greece, are now implemented in hospitals, churches, and prisons as meditative and therapeutic spaces. We’ll delve into scientific studies that highlight the benefits of labyrinth walking, from reducing blood pressure to enhancing emotional regulation, and illustrate how this age-old practice, when combined with innovative therapy, offers a transformative journey of healing. Tune in for a captivating look at how the age-old labyrinth is turning into a modern path to recovery.
Reference for episode: “The Healing Power of Labyrinths” by Leo F. for The Oxbow School
Resources:
✧ 12 inch bamboo finger labyrinth (Amazon) ✧ Finger labyrinth travel cards (Amazon) ✧ Walking a Sacred Path: Rediscovering the Labyrinth as a Spiritual Practice by Lauren Artress acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

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the healing power of labyrinths and EMDR [preview]

Should Drake's denial of Kendrick Lamar's allegations of pursuing underage girls open a wider conversation on grooming, social media, and consent? In this episode, we dissect this pressing issue and much more.
Unless you've been living under a rock, you've likely heard of the ongoing rap beef between Drake and Kendrick Lamar that kicked off in April 2024. During the first week of May 2024, this months-long spat has hit full throttle. On Saturday (May 4th), Lamar put out yet another diss entitled "Not Like Us," which doubled down on allegations of Drake’s pedophilia (even going as far as to refer to him as a “certified pedophile”).
The latest development came on the evening of May 5th, with Drake’s release of “The Heart Part 6.” On the track, the Toronto rapper mainly denies Lamar’s allegations that he has a pattern of pursuing underage girls, a claim that has plagued the rapper in the wake of tales from the likes of 'Stranger Tales' actress Millie Bobby Brown, 20, who said Drake regularly texted her when she was only 14.
As the old saying goes, where there's smoke, there's usually fire. Rumors surrounding Drake's interactions with young women have persisted long before the Kendrick and Drake beef. In this episode, we delve into the longstanding and controversial history of Drake's relationships with girls on the cusp of womanhood. We'll examine the legal framework of consent and the ethical complexities surrounding men who pursue significantly younger partners, regardless of legal culpability.
We'll conclude this discussion with a reading of a personal essay, recounting my experiences as a young girl navigating the digital landscape of the early 2000s, where I was groomed and pursued by much older men during the 'wild west days' of the internet and social media. Through this piece, I aim to shed light on the pervasive nature of this issue, transcending the confines of Drake's rap beef. It's imperative to recognize that these occurrences are symptomatic of a broader systemic problem—a culture that has long permitted the sexualization and exploitation of young girls online. Join me as we confront these uncomfortable truths and advocate for meaningful change.
TIMESTAMPS:
✧ 00:00 – 03:23: Intro ✧ 03:23 – 10:27: quick timeline of the Kendrick Lamar and Drake feud ✧ 10:27 – 41:17: an analysis of the Kendrick lyrics that level accusations against Drake ✧ 41:17 – 01:07:16: six times Drake allegedly groomed young girls ✧ 01:08:17 – 01:26:24: The fine line between grooming, pedophilia, and the “age of consent” (+ an exploration of Angel Reese’s appearance on The Breakfast Club) ✧ 01:26:24 – 02:00:02: the circle jerk of sadness to grooming pipeline: how growing up during internet's wild west era arrested the sexual development of a generation (personal essay)
CHECK OUT MORE OF MY WORK + UNLOCK PREMIUM: To join the Premium Submarines on Patreon (unlocking full + ad-free episodes), check out my sponsors, subscribe to my Substack, or contact me, visit backfromtheborderline.com   Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/back-from-the-borderline.

 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

from human doing to human being [preview]

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