Do you ever find yourself saying yes when you really want to say no? Maybe you agree to extra work, attend an event you’re not excited about, or stay quiet when you’d rather speak up — all because you don’t want to upset anyone. That’s people-pleasing.

In this episode, join me, Heidi Lester, counsellor and psychotherapist, as I break down what people-pleasing really is, why we fall into the habit, and how it quietly harms our self-worth and relationships. You’ll learn why it feels safe in the moment, but ultimately leads to exhaustion, loneliness, and resentment.

Most importantly, I will share practical ways to stop people-pleasing without guilt — from practising small no’s to setting healthier boundaries and validating yourself instead of seeking approval.

If you’ve ever wondered how to show up more authentically in your life and relationships, this conversation is for you.

You don’t need to earn love or approval by constantly putting others first. Saying no with kindness and standing by your boundaries is not selfish — it’s an act of self-respect. And the more authentic you are, the more genuine your connections will become.

Share this episode with a friend who struggles with saying no

Try journaling: When do I say yes to avoid guilt, and when do I say yes out of choice?

Follow me on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube and Facebook.

In this episode of We Are All Fine, I explore the journey of rediscovering yourself after depression lifts. Even when the worst has passed, it’s common to feel disconnected from your interests, relationships, and sense of self. Join me as I explain why this happens, and I will offer practical strategies to reconnect with your emotions, hobbies, and authentic identity — gently and intentionally.

If you’ve recently come out of depression and feel lost, disconnected, or unsure of yourself, this episode provides reassurance, perspective, and actionable strategies to help you gently rediscover your identity and reconnect with life.

Follow me on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook for daily mental health tips.

Contact me directly: [email protected]

Check out other episodes on We Are All Fine, including topics like loneliness, people-pleasing, and self-compassion — all designed to help you navigate life’s challenges.

Loneliness is a universal human experience — yet social media, external pressures, and the expectation to “fit in” can make it feel even more intense. In this episode, I will explore why we feel lonely, what triggers these feelings, and practical strategies to manage them. You’ll hear guidance from me, a counsellor and psychotherapist, on acknowledging loneliness without shame, connecting with others meaningfully, and practising self-compassion.

If you’ve ever felt lonely, even in a crowd or online, this episode provides reassurance, perspective, and practical tools to help you navigate these emotions and build authentic connections.

• Follow me on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook for daily mental health tips.

• Contact me directly: [email protected]

• Share this episode with someone who might need a reminder that they’re not alone.

Leaving home and starting university is one of the biggest transitions in young adulthood. It’s exciting, scary, overwhelming, and hopeful — often all at once. In this episode, I talk about the emotional rollercoaster of moving away from home, why those feelings are completely normal, and practical ways to handle homesickness, social anxiety, academic pressure, and loneliness. You’ll also hear encouragement on how to make the most of this new chapter — from nurturing your hopes to practicing self-compassion when it feels tough.

Let me share:

• Why it’s normal to feel both excited and nervous about starting uni

• How to manage homesickness without cutting yourself off from your new life

• Small steps to ease social anxiety and make connections

• Practical ways to deal with academic pressure and self-doubt

• How to nurture your hopes while balancing your energy

• Why self-compassion is your best tool during this transition

If you’re about to start uni, already settling in, or supporting someone who is, this episode will give you comfort, reassurance, and practical steps to help you feel less alone in the process.

• Follow Heidi on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook for daily mental health tips.

• Contact Heidi directly: [email protected]

• Share this episode with a friend starting uni this year!

Do you often feel like you’re not good enough in your relationships? You’re not alone. In this episode, I explore why these feelings arise, from early experiences and social comparisons to attachment styles and our inner critic. Most importantly, I share practical strategies to help you shift these patterns, build self-compassion, and create healthier, more secure connections with yourself and others.

Understand the roots: Childhood experiences, social media comparisons, anxious attachment, and your inner critic all contribute to feeling “not enough.

Challenge the inner story: Notice when your mind says “I’m not enough” and create distance by labelling it as a thought, not a fact

Practice self-compassion: Speak to yourself as you would a close friend and use affirmations like “I deserve love just as I am.

Look for evidence: Balance the negative story with real evidence that shows your worth

Communicate with your partner: Sharing your feelings builds trust and safety

Nurture self-identity: Ground yourself in hobbies, friendships, and personal goals outside the relationship.

If you’ve ever doubted your worth in a relationship, this episode provides reassurance, understanding, and practical tools to start seeing yourself differently — and to build healthier, more balanced connections.

Follow me on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook for daily tips

Contact me directly: [email protected]

Do you ever catch yourself replaying conversations, worrying about “what ifs,” or feeling stuck in endless loops of thought? You’re not alone. In today’s episode of We Are All Fine, I’m diving into the messy but totally normal habit of overthinking — why it happens, how it affects us, and most importantly, what you can do to break free.

We’ll explore:

Why our brains are wired to overthink

The physical and emotional signs you might be caught in a thought loop

5 practical tools to calm your mind — including my favourite 321 STOP technique

How self-compassion can quiet negative thoughts

Overthinking doesn’t mean something is “wrong” with you — it’s a brain response, not a personal flaw. With awareness and small, practical steps, you can ease the pressure and make clearer, more confident decisions.

If this episode resonates, share it with a friend who might need it too. And remember: your thoughts don’t define you!

• Follow me on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube & Facebook for daily mental health tips

• Listen to past episodes on mindfulness, grounding, and positive affirmations

Feeling Socially Anxious in New Places? Here’s How to Manage It

Walking into a new place can feel overwhelming — whether it’s a class, party, job, or café. Social anxiety is normal, but it doesn’t have to hold you back. In this episode, I share practical tips for managing social anxiety in new environments. I'm your host, Heidi Lester, a Counsellor and Psychotherapist with 25 years of experience working with young adults, and in today's episode, you’ll learn how to start small, ground yourself, shift your focus outward, practice self-compassion, and celebrate every step.

This episode is all about giving you actionable strategies so you can feel calmer, more confident, and more connected.

Key Takeaways:

• Small interactions build confidence — start with tiny steps.

• Grounding techniques help calm your nervous system and bring you back to the moment.

• Focusing on others instead of yourself reduces anxiety.

• Self-compassion is essential — anxiety doesn’t define your worth.

• Celebrate every small win — progress matters more than perfection.

Resources & Links:

• Follow Heidi on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook for daily tips.

• Contact Heidi directly: [email protected]

Positive affirmations are everywhere — but do they really work? In this episode, we explore the science behind affirmations, why they sometimes feel awkward or fake, and how to create affirmations that truly help you build confidence and kindness toward yourself.

You’ll learn:

• What positive affirmations really are

• Why your brain might resist them at first

• How affirmations can rewire your brain over time

• Tips to personalise affirmations that feel authentic

• How to pair affirmations with real-life actions for best results

Hi, I’m Heidi Lester, a Counsellor and Psychotherapist with 25 years of experience working with young people and young adults. This podcast is a space created just for you — a place where you can feel truly heard, seen, and valued.

I share daily content on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook designed to help you navigate your mental health and make the most of being exactly who you are.

I’d love to connect with you! Feel free to reach out to me through any of these channels, or contact me directly at [email protected].

Welcome to episode 23 of WAAF – The Podcast Where You Feel Heard, Normal, Validated, and Understood.

I’m your host, Heidi Lester, a Counsellor & Psychotherapist with 25 years’ experience supporting thousands of young people navigating life’s challenges.

Today’s episode tackles one of the most common questions I hear:

“How can I stop my negative thoughts?”

If your mind has been spinning with anxious, critical, or overwhelming thoughts, this episode is for you.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why you can’t completely stop negative thoughts—and why that’s okay

• How your brain is wired to notice threats and why negative thinking happens

• The power of managing your response to negative thoughts instead of fighting them

• A gentle, 4-step technique to interrupt spiralling thoughts without judgment or pressure

The 4 Steps to Break the Negative Thought Spiral:

1. Pause

Stop and gently shift your focus to your surroundings and your senses.

This helps you come back to the present moment without trying to fix anything.

2. Notice

Observe your thoughts without judgment or self-criticism.

Become a curious explorer of your inner experience and ask:

o What is this thought trying to tell me?

o When did it start?

o How does it feel in my body?

o Are there triggers or patterns?

3. Label

Instead of fully believing a thought, try putting a little space between you and it by saying:

“I’m having the thought that…”

This reminds you that thoughts are temporary mental events, not absolute truths.

4. Choose

After pausing, noticing, and labeling, decide your next step.

It could be something small but meaningful like:

o Getting up from your seat

o Sending a text

o Drinking water

o Reminding yourself, “I’m still here”

Negative thoughts are a natural part of being human—they don’t define you, and they don’t have to control your life.

By practising these steps, you build a kinder, healthier relationship with your mind and start to regain control.

Be patient with yourself. Change takes time, and every small effort counts.

If you found this episode helpful, please share it with someone who might benefit too.

Follow me, Heidi Lester, mental health therapist on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube and Facebook.

Thanks for listening — I’m so glad you’re here. Until next time, take good care of yourself.

Have you ever tried to open up to someone, only to feel ignored, shut down, or completely unseen?

In this episode, we explore the frustrating and painful dynamic of emotionally unavailable people — the ones who seem close enough to keep you hanging on, but never truly let you in.

We unpack:

• What emotional unavailability actually looks like

• Why it hurts so much to be on the receiving end

• Why we stay (even when we know we’re not getting what we need)

• And most importantly — how to stop chasing emotional breadcrumbs and start protecting your boundaries

Whether it’s a partner, a friend, or a parent, this episode is here to validate what you’ve been feeling — and help you take your power back.

If you want more support and words of encouragement, follow me Heidi Lester, on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube and Facebook.

You can reach me on my email [email protected]

I welcome your comments, feedback, questions for a counsellor and ideas for future shows.