From Surviving to Thriving: A No Tools, No Techniques Shift from Stress and Overwhelm to Fulfilment

Are you aware that you are misinterpreting things all day every day? It's not just you - me too! The look on someone's face, why they are doing what they are doing or what someone is thinking about us. We think we are cameras; seeing the world as it is but we are really projectors; creating our own personal reality. 

It's like we are looking at the world through personal goggles but we didn't even create the goggles. They were created by the things we learnt as we went through life. They are made of our conditioned thinking. 

It might seem like a challenge to see through this but it is easier than you think. All it takes is awareness! Knowing that misinterpretation is happening all the time, waiting to be seen. Your feelings will let you know because that misinterpretation feels pretty unpleasant. That's wisdom letting you know that you are off track.

You are the universe. You have everything you need inside you. Sometimes I know it doesn't feel that way but I promise you it's true. Can you notice it in those times of calm? Those times when you are flowing through life or maybe even in a moment of emergency. They are the times when your thinking is not getting in the way. When your mind is quite, you are naturally present and there is just this moment.

That feeling is only ever a thought away! Amazing when you see it. It is possible to connect to your magnificence without endless tools and techniques, trust me.

Fixing feelings was my mission for so many years! It was exhausting! First manipulating the outside world then manipulating me! I tried every tool and technique but the feelings couldn't be fixed.

But now I know that you cannot pin down a state of mind and I see that I would not want to do that anyway. You see, our feelings are a gauge; a warning system to let us know about our state of mind. They inform us what is going on in out thinking. When we know that and we know that our self-righting system will reset everything if we wait, it makes less sense to try to fix our feelings. I mean, why would you want to turn off any alert system. It just doesn't make sense.

Discomfort has a purpose! With physical discomfort, the purpose is clear! It's to let you know that there is something to do like rest, move or seek help.  This depends on what is happening to the physical body.

With psychological discomfort, the purpose is also clear but often misunderstood. Psychological discomfort is treated differently. We are encouraged to dumb it down and supress it. Imagine if we did that with physical discomfort. We would end up in all sorts of trouble. Psychological discomfort is a warning - letting you know about your state of mind. It's there to let you know that you are off course with your thinking. Listen to that warning and get curious. Don't wish away your warning system.

Feelings! If we could just understand this one thing about ourselves, it would be truly transformational. Then we could stop trying to control them. Imagine taking that off your plate. Think about all the things we do to control our feelings. Drinking, smoking and eating chocolate but also tapping, journaling and meditation. But this is all unnecessary!

Feelings are just information! They are your inner warning system letting you know about your state of mind. They have nothing to do with the outside world. You cannot get them there and they do not come from there! It's human to want to feel better but your self-righting system will sort that out if you leave it alone. No need to do anything. Understanding our feelings as information changes everything!

Toxicity from our environment is much spoken about these days and I don't mean the kind that we can inhale or get from our food. I mean the kind that we are being told is in our circumstances. Toxic workplaces, toxic relationships and even toxic rooms. But have you ever wondered what this is actually pointing us towards? It's telling us that the feelings we feel can come from outside of us. This just isn't true.

If we have a sense of something in our lives being toxic, that is our amazing system letting us know that we have toxic thinking. This is not condoning unpleasant behaviour it's just saying that our feelings do not come from that behaviour. Once we know this, we can be guided to make changes (if they are in fact needed) from a place of clarity, calm and confidence. Toxic feeling = toxic thinking, nothing else!

We are talking too much about stress management. It is causing people to look in the wrong direction towards the following lies. 

1. That stress comes from the outside world.

2. That we can remove stress by doing things.

3. That any feeling e.g. calm needs to be sought outside us.

This is missing the truth. Stress is created by a lot of stressful thinking, stress management adds more thinking into a busy system and we can connect to everything we need inside us when our mind settles. But the biggest mistake is misunderstanding what a feeling is for. 

Your feelings are your guidance system, letting you know about your state of mind. Keep squashing them and suppressing them by any means and you are missing the opportunity to be guided by them. It's like trying to fix a system which was never broken!

'I am not creative!' is something I really used to believe. I carried from childhood into adulthood. I thought creativity wasn't my thing. Perhaps you can relate. It sounds like something which could hold us back. An unhelpful bit of insecure thinking. 

But there is something much deeper to see here. It's the creating we don't know we are doing all day every day. The creation of our thinking which we then believe. The thinking about the future, the stories about other people's thinking and the nonsense we believe about ourselves.

All creations and none of it true. But your wonderful system has provided you with a failsafe warning system; YOUR FEELINGS! Like a lighthouse warning you that you are too close to the rocks you feelings are always letting you know about your state of mind. They are letting you know you are creating a day-mare! And the more tuned in you become to that warning system, the more easily you can spot you amazing creative power of thought at work.

How do you know which of your thoughts is true? Perhaps you have never considered that question. I know I hadn't and I used to believe it all. Every single thought which passed through my head. My thoughts about other people, the future and myself. Every single one of them appeared true to me. 

But really there are very few things which are actually true and none of the things in the list above are! So how do we navigate the noise in our heads. We trust our feelings, that's all. Your feelings are always telling you about your state of mind. Your feelings are a shadow of your thinking being felt in your body. So, off feeling = off thinking. 

But when you are connected to the wisdom of the universe it feels utterly different; calm, clarity and confidence. That deep inner knowing or gut instinct. Those moments when you just know. Those moments are available to you from this place of calm. You don't have to do anything - just know it's there and wait.

There seems to be a lot of people feeling stressed at the moment. I have a deep level of compassion for them all. I have been there. The long term stress I experienced led to burnout. I didn't work for a year.

But now I know the truth about stress. Listen whilst I share this secret with you. Stress does not come from the outside world. It doesn't come from your job, your relationships, from the news or even social media. That stressful feeling isn't warning you about out there. t's warning you about your state of mind.

And underneath all that, your wellbeing is still available. That's why you bob back up like an invincible beach ball being held under water. When you see this, transformation happens in every aspect of live and you feel calm more of the time. I can help you see it. Please drop me a message if you would like to feel less stressed.