what's the deal with customer service never providing adequate service? there always like "yeah let me check on my end."

what... what's going down on their end? huh? just a bunch of pictures of LeVar Burton, while they tell you "it'll be just one more minute." chamber music playing in the background.

here's another thing, another problem we all share, but how about we get some better jams to play during that waiting period? something a little more soothing than musak.

also, f*ck the people who make ambient music for elevators and waiting rooms. you're not an artist and we could live without you. i'd honestly rather sit in silence, collecting dust, questioning my humanity.

you guys ever watch that show Californication? that's sort of what i'm into right now...

television shows, what's that about? you're sitting at home watching nine hours of your third favorite show, rewatching for the fifth time? pouring another drink, neglecting how badly your dog needs to pee because it's too cold to go outside?

come on, pal, that ain't you.

i know you, you're better than that

what am i thankful for this year? ummm... easy answer, i'm grateful for pussy, and also, pirates of the carribean.

if i'm being completely honest... it's been a bleak year.

we were reminded of an ongoing genocide in gaza, and my d*ck never got bigger, despite what the witch doctor told me after i bought that special cream...

i wanna be a zookeeper. no, i have no interest in educating myself on the subject. no., i don't care that this is technically an animal prison. this kind of fact checking is honestly so offensive, and honestly, it's also racist. let me feed the monkeys! i wanna give those apes some chunky snacks! is that a crime now?? your honor....

i only fly away. i don't where why... does anyone know the next part of the song? i feel like that's a mumble part. you ever mumble your way through a popular song? like, you kinda get the melody, you know what's generally going on, but you just lack specific knowledge of the words? i feel that way during prayers. you know it's got to be about the lord, they love him, but you just don't get exactly how they love him, what metaphor they're using...

i've got a confession to make. sorry, i meant i have a concession to make. whoops, no, sorry, i meant i have a concession stand to make, to cake. to cake or not to cake, that is the question we must ask ourselves, when so wedded to treats as our souls must partake. should we perish in delight? or abstain for eternity?

i like me a big stinky cheeseburger. that's my go to meal. a plate of gnarly smelly meat between sweaty buns and hard thick cheese. french fries? go f*ck yourself. i want spanish fries, i want nachos with p*ssy juice all over it. with a gun. a gun with salsa bullets in it, that is!

you guys like music? that sweet sonorous jam of a band playing in the hot night? well guess what, turns out that makes you gay. sorry, I don't make the rules. check your local mdma manufacturer. did you like the odezza tour? did you think that was... that was worth your time and money? odezza. am i spelling that rignt? who cares

more like misrael, am i right? because i'm sure it's pretty miserable having a rave dance party during bombing season! that's right! i'm saying what we're all thinking! news moves so fast, i'm sure this is all relevant and we all remember what i'm talking about, but i always thought it was cool, personally, whenever the nazi's blasted avicii throughout the concentration camps. it just seemed so appropriate and normal to do that.

it's the spooky season folks! we've got goblins and ghouls scampering about, waiting to reveal themselves in scantily clad clothes, showing off their big beautiful goblin breasts and their stinky butt cheeks. it'd be cool to have sex with a ghost, because i've always been into older women, plus you get to watch the spread of your bust in her hollow body, and who doesn't love a good c*m shot?