Girls Who Do Stuff

Our guest, Rena Cook, is the founder of Vocal Authority, a training, and development business serving corporate clients - including managers, politicians, attorneys, teachers, clergy, and CEOs - who want to use their voice in more commanding and authentic ways. 

She is an author, speaker, coach, voice-over artist, and Professor Emeritus at the University of Oklahoma School of Drama. Rena holds an M.A. in Voice Studies from London's Royal Central School of Speech and Drama, an M.F.A. in Directing from OU, and an M.A. in Guidance & Counseling from TU. 

She is the author of Empower you Voice: For Women in Business, Politics and Life (published December 2017), and Voice and the Young Actor. She co-edited Breath in Action: The Art of Breath in Vocal and Holistic Practice and was Editor-in-chief of the Voice and Speech Review. Rena taught High School Drama for 16 years before she graduated to higher education. For the next two decades, she taught professional actors, many of whom can be seen on Broadway, film, and television. 

Through Vocal Authority, Rena adapts actor training techniques to help individuals and groups be more confident and dynamic communicators.

Rena taught High School Drama for 16 years before she graduated to higher education. For the next two decades, she taught professional actors, many of whom can be seen on Broadway, film, and television. Through Vocal Authority, Rena adapts actor training techniques to help individuals and groups be more confident and dynamic communicators.

Rena shares with us her passion for helping women find their voice to speak their truth to power.

Phyllis and David are back! We learn about Phyllis's difficult homecoming after her first baby. At the time, breastfeeding was discouraged. David and her Mother were fighting, and she was dealing with postpartum depression. We compare and contrast our birth stories.

Healthcare was different in 1964. Phyllis went to the hospital complaining of pain. The doctor said she was being a complainer and sent her home to take Aspirin until the pain went away. Even though the doctors found a mass during her pelvic exam. After the Aspirin didn't work, they went back and found a cyst the size of a grapefruit.  Then they had to do emergency surgery. 

The doctors brought the cyst to her after the surgery, and it had hair and teeth and bones. Either she had a twin, or she herself had a twin! 

They loved being parents in their 20s. It was like the Cleavers. The husbands went out to work in the morning, and the women put the babies in the strollers and walked around complaining about their husbands, and it was a wonderful season.

David was working for his dad and helping him run his business. Phyllis had an aversion to changing diapers and would leave the soiled diapers in a bucket for David to clean after work every day.

Davis shares a story about getting a bad case of jiggers (ticks) that seemed to focus on his scrotum. Phyllis used Absorbine Jr (think Ben-Gay) to try to help. He had passed out from the pain, and when the BenGay kicked in, he woke up and jumped up and shouted, "What the h*#@ are you doing?"

When asked how they navigated the tough times in their marriage, David simply answered, "I grew up."

David's professional relationship with his brother was challenging. They eventually parted ways in the family business.

They share the story of Jenny being adopted. 

Jenny talks about how Leah's story inspired her so she decided to reach out through a mutual friend. Leah wrote an article for the Huffington Post called "I Spent 35 Years Trying To Convince The World (And Myself) That I’m White." Leah learned a lot about herself and her story of trying to find belonging as a child when the story took on a life of it's own, going viral and often misunderstood because of some circumstances surrounding it's release. We unpack it in today's episode.

Leah talks about how her day job is as an attorney but she has always loved to write. She shares her story about her love for writing over the last few years. 

Jenny and Leah talk about what it is like to grow up in Metro DC and how it is different from anywhere else. Being that close to the seat of government colors the conversations and everyday life of people that you are unaware of until you leave the area.
 
Leah talks about her family and the number of siblings she has and the culture of her home growing up. She was adopted by two white parents and had a large mixed race family with other adopted siblings. Their parents encouraged them to talk about race and learn more about their heritage growing up but for Leah, as a child, she wanted to belong in her family and the thought of another potential family out there felt as if it could erode the relationship with the family she had and loved being a part of. As an adult she can clearly see with more perspective that that was not the case but as a child this was a very real and rational fear that many adoptees experience in their own way.

They talk about ghost families and what that is like for children of adoption. Leah also goes on to talk about how when she was growing up she drifted more towards white culture because she wanted to fit in with her parents and feel like she belonged.

Jenny and Leah talk about how growing up adopted you always want to feel like you belong and there is a piece of you that no matter what will question that. 

Sara talks about the importance of saying biological instead of real when you are talking to an adoptee about their family. 

Leah talks about her experience of publishing for the Huff Post and how her article got interpreted in ways that she did not expect. Leah, Jenny, and Sara then go on to talk about the title of her article and how she lost control of the article. She was invited to a talk show that only made things worse for her. 

Leah gives advice for people who are scared to tell their own stories.

She has been self-employed, working with sensitive entrepreneurs and leaders for twenty years plus. 

Highly sensitive is a psychological and physiological term. It comes out of a lot of research that really started in the late 1990s by a woman named Dr. Lane. Aaron who's most known for the research around what it needs to be a highly sensitive person. There is a lot of additional research as well. The skinny on what it means to be highly sensitive is that first and foremost, it's how your nervous system is wired differently.

We talk about how we were empaths before it was cool.

Highly Sensitive Entrepreneurs and Leaders possess a unique set of strengths coded for them to experience a higher level of success and prosperity.

Jenny shares her bra story as an illustration of dealing with highly sensitive people.

For many of Heather's clients, finding out that they are highly sensitive is both freeing and helps them understand themselves better and how they show up in the world.

There are three coping mechanisms that highly sensitive default to

• Pushing
• Hiding
• Combo plattering

Heather talks about how the time in the morning is for her to transition into her day. She talks about how this helps her get her thoughts together to be productive. 

Sarah talks about the importance of just asking. It can't hurt to ask. You never know what the other party will say, and you could get an awesome experience out of it.

If you are highly sensitive, you have to get over the hump of it to take extra work. You have to get over the anger that you were born this way to be able to use it to your advantage.

Heather talks about the journey of how she got to be on lifetime television.

Check out Heather's weekly activations at weeklyactivations.com and her website businessmiracles.com.

Mark shares about some of the struggles of being a comedian during a pandemic, and he is excited to begin doing live shows again. He started some online shows called Comedy Test Kitchen to keep bringing the funny.

He shares about how rough of a start the Comedy Test Kitchen was but they have ironed out the tech details.

Mark says he has always been comfortable with failing and comedy requires a high tolerance for failure. It's all about volume. You fail enough and you get confidence along the way.

In his first performance, he did a "Murder She Wrote" joke that bombed. There was one part that did well and he came back next week and got a little better.  

"What's the difference between a pizza and a stand-up comedian? - The pizza can feed a family of four." - Mark Masters

We talk in-depth about unicorns and being a professional, and the unicorn of the sea... the majestic narwhal.  

Mark shares how he breaks the common trope that comedians come from pain and anguish, he had the most wonderful parents in the work. They were the best at fighting because they practiced all the time. They've been married for over 52 years.  

Sarah shared her vacation story in hopes that Mark will use it in an upcoming show. 

Mark is a clean comedian and he talks about the culture of fear of offending and cancel culture.

We talk about Jessica's new book, "I Almost Cancelled: Showing Up When Fear Tells You to Stay Home." Jessica Bettencourt knows what it’s like to face rejection, feel like she doesn’t belong, and second-guess big decisions. But she also knows that we have to face fear and risk failure to live out our calling. In I Almost Cancelled, Jessica shares how one scary decision after another led to a life she couldn’t even imagine. Her storytelling and southern charm will have you laughing at times and crying at others. She shows you step by step how to overcome self-doubt and build the life you’ve always wanted-not the life others tell you to want.

We get to hear Jessica's love story of meeting her future husband on a spring break trip. She was raised in a strict Christian home and would not have been allowed to go to spring break in Florida to galavant around the beach in a bikini, but her friend heard of an evangelist who was holding revival services. So they would spend the afternoons on the beach and evenings in the church. During the trip, she met her future husband on the beach, dated long distance for a long time, and eventually, they got married.

"Thankfully, I kept showing up, so I wanted to cancel. There are days I still want to cancel, but I have a no-cancellation policy in my life, and I show up." - Jessica Bettencourt

By having a no-cancellation policy you will train yourself to not put things on your calendar that you will dread.

We talk through how to say "no" even to things that are good things but may not align with your goals at this time.

"Everything is figureoutable and most things are fixable." - Jessica Bettencourt

We spend time talking about the difference between leadership and management. And how Jessica grew her first business and eventually handed over the reins to her husband who had a much different approach to leadership than her and the lessons she learned along the way.

Find out more about Jessica, her book, and connect with her on social media on her website.