Good Stories, Inc.

This is a somber day. Please celebrate it with me as I describe the president’s dick as accurately as possible using the forensic descriptions of his phallus pieced together from chapters of the books of Michael Wolff, Omarosa Manigault, and Bob Woodward, respectively. This story was written and performed live for Erotic Fan Fiction: The Game Show as a part of Fearless Comedy Presents at the Phoenix Theater in Minneapolis, MN on May 26. Please consider this description a content warning, because this is rough.

Happy holidays, good storians. We will be returning in the new year with more good stories, but for now, please fill your nog mugs with a hot cup of this very special Christmas program. This is very good for playing to the entire family, and showing children who enjoy cats and Santa. FAIR WARNING: the words ‘stupid, ass, fuck, dick, and Jesus’ each appear once in this show, so depending on how you’re raising your kids, you might want to find another holiday tradition.

Probably not, though.

The beautiful Christmas music is thanks to Kevin McLeod, who composed “Wishes (Background).” You can find this and other of his work here: http://incompetech.com/

Renowned science fiction novelist T. Aaron Cisco brings some professional gravitas to the show, and finally shows Donavon a thing or two about writing good stories. Captain Sisko teams up with Neville Longbottom of Harry Potter fame, and learns how to use his magical powers, which is definitely not science! But oh no! Will a crazy Star Trek thing happen to the quirky, British world of magic? Probably. Story begins at 37’12”.

Required themes: Benjamin Sisko, Neville Longbottom, Moon Base Hogwarts, robust adult education programs, SCIENCE, Captain Lorca’s true identity, tens of thousands of dead owls.

Buy Mr. Cisco’s books here:

https://www.amazon.com/Dragon-Variation-T-Cisco-ebook/dp/B072KLHD3P

https://www.amazon.com/Teleportality-T-Cisco-ebook/dp/B01IYIDW9A

And like his social media thing here:

https://www.facebook.com/TeleportalityNovel/

Warning: Contains tree sex. I’m sorry, everyone.

Do not be alarmed. I have sneaked into each of your podcast devices and deleted the weird internet show about fan fiction you have been subscribing to, replacing it with a different weird internet show about fan fiction. Tell all your friends that you already told about the Lasagnacast but who haven’t actually downloaded it yet that you fucked up and the name is different now.

Please listen to the full episode for announcements. It’s not like there will be a bonus show or anything. I definitely just talk about podcasts for 12 minutes. Go listen now.

Donavon brings in famed punster Art Allen to write a story about Murder She Wrote and Star Trek, and it gets way too real. When Captain Sisko is sent by the Prophets to the year 1995 to solve a murder, who the fuck do you think is going to be there to help him out? Story begins at 36’54”.

Required themes: Captain Sisko, Jessica Fletcher, Gul Dukat, ghost in the butt, cultural insensitivity to the wormhole aliens, building a house no matter what, something that gums up the plumbing, baseball bat to the tummy, Robby Fucking Lasagna.

Donavon teams up with Brandi to write a very good story starring our second favorite orange newspaper cat, Heathcliff, and our #1 favorite geriatric crime buster, Jessica Fletcher. Murder is afoot and only Heathcliff can solve this case! But look out! They just might run into a few old friends from the Hallmark Movies & Mysteries Channel. Story begins at 29’24”.

Required Themes: Columbo, Diagnosis Murder, Matlock, an extreme number of hot dogs, family values, a long lost love, Hudson University, Garbage Ape, Blimps, magical powers, ZERO CAT KISSES.

In a first for the Lasagnacast, Donavon reads something original. Garfield and Heathcliff must team up to prevent government corruption! Strong environmental theme runs throughout the show. And one cat must die. The stakes have never been higher on the Lasagnacast.

Garfield has never backed down from a fight, or a performance! In this very special musical episode, Garfield has to kick, punch, and fuck his way out of Hollywood to win the heart of a very special lady named Emma Stone. Contains song and dance numbers including HIT SINGLE City of Lasagna.

A Lasagnacast Classics reading of the work of ShakespeareHemmingway.

Garfield is only good at three things – kicking ass, eating lasagna, and making love to sexy ladies. In this documentary of how Facebook was invented, Garfield gets to do all three. Learn how Facebook was actually created by an obese orange cat!

A Lasagnacast Classics reading of the work of ShakespeareHemmingway.

Garfield’s three loves – lasagna, sexy ladies, and America – come into conflict with the three things he hates – tyranny, Mondays, and the King of England – in this true to life retelling of actual historical events about Colonial America. Probably has something to do with Alexander Hamilton, perhaps!

A Lasagnacast Classics reading of the work of ShakespeareHemmingway.